Mike Malak joins Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh to defend Abella Danger against harassment, recounting a chaotic Jake Paul Super Bowl party where teenagers in thongs distressed Malak's fiancée. They explore Malak's recovery from crack addiction in New Haven, his current workaholism, and his past romance with Logan Paul, debating the ethics of the adult industry and Mia Khalifa's cultural appropriation. The conversation culminates in a fierce debate over whether Tom Brady or Michael Jordan is the greatest athlete, analyzing Brady's leadership, diet, and championship adaptability against Jordan's longevity, while comparing their mental toughness to Tiger Woods' downfall and Floyd Mayweather's dominance over Canelo Alvarez. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Flagrant 200:14:43
What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flagrant 2.
It's your boy Shultz.
We got Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, the Truffle Pig himself, Dove Mammon.
And we have a special guest in the building.
I'm going to call it special, man.
No, no, you're special, bro.
Don't get me.
You're special.
You're special, but I don't know how to pronounce your last name, so I don't know how to properly introduce it.
His name has like four vowels in it.
You get it right.
It's easy.
I know how to do vowels.
Your name has no vowels.
The Jay Silence.
Matt.
Okay, go.
Malak.
I had no clue.
Jay's completely silent.
I thought it was Majlik.
Malak.
Before we start this, okay.
What do we got?
What's going on here?
Oh, my Amy.
Use all the real estate.
I like it.
Make a moment out of it.
I'm not playing.
Okay.
I've seen you for the past week rocking all the Miami shit.
I called me here today.
You look like you're dressed to go to Bushwick, bro.
What the fuck?
What the fuck happened, bro?
I gotta keep going live.
What's good?
Yo, I'm stoked to have you on.
We've been trying to get you on for a minute.
Every time you come to the East Coast, you duck me, bro.
You go up to Connecticut and you duck me.
To Staven, going home.
Yeah, the man's from Gunhaven.
Gun Waven.
Pistol Wave in New Haven.
We were just talking about.
Waven, New Haven.
Hey, at one point, we were the number four most dangerous city.
I don't know what happened.
Connecticut is incredibly ghetto.
It's impressive in its ability to be ghetto and super rich at the same time.
At the same time.
And the most hated state by Joe Rogan.
Nah, by Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan.
Why does she hate it?
I don't know.
He's just always had a problem with fucking Connecticut.
He's a fast guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you guys sit in between.
You sit on the fence.
He's like, he's like, it's just a wasted strip of highway between New York and Boston.
He's like, it's meaningless.
But yo, there's some bad spots there, but I grew up in a very nice town called Milford, Connecticut.
One of the nicer beach communities in the state.
But it's in between Pistol Wave in New Haven and Bridgeport, Connecticut.
That's where I spent some time doing crack cocaine.
Yeah, we're going to get to all that.
Okay.
I want to get to all the crack cocaine.
I want to get to everything.
But more importantly, I want to start here.
We had some boys on a podcast who were talking big shit.
Okay.
Doesn't surprise me.
They were talking big.
No, no, no.
You know.
Remember I was talking about you and what you got to go through on Twitter.
Bro.
Now, for new listeners, Mike on Twitter, Mike is dating who used to be a very, very, very famous pornographic star.
Well, she still is.
Wait, she still does pornography.
No, no, she's still a very famous pornographic star, but she's retired from her.
She's retired, but it's like it's almost like herpes.
It doesn't go away.
You know what I'm saying?
She's still number one.
Yeah.
It was such a perfect like analogy.
Metaphor.
But it doesn't, not that she has it, but just the sex and this, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
But it doesn't go away.
She's been number one.
Yeah.
I can't take her down.
You gotta use STDs as metaphors for your porn star girl.
For retirement.
Exactly.
You can't take her down.
Anybody, everybody's out there trying to fucking Abella danger her and Riley read her, but you can't hit her, bro, because she was just too pretty.
She was too porn.
Yes, yes, yes.
Everybody just likes to watch, bro.
Well, no, but people harass you, right?
You'll tweet some shit, and then they're always responding to it with like this porn scene from Lana, right?
And I was like, this poor guy, what this guy's got to go through, etc.
And I remember I spoke about on the podcast.
And the boys on the podcast, you guys had some opinions on dating a porn star.
Yeah.
Couldn't do it.
Now, we had a nice little Super Pole party yesterday.
Super Paul parties, right?
We had a Super Pole party.
It was a pole party.
We had a Super Spreader event yesterday.
By the way, never invite Mike Malick to your Super Bowl party ever again.
Mike Malick.
What is it?
Magic.
Malak.
Like he may lack certain skills.
Now I remember.
Perfect.
Now I remember.
That's perfect.
What she said at the beginning.
Okay, so Mike Malak.
We invited him, and then I think within like 15 minutes, you invited 20 people.
No, there were 20 people.
I said, Do you want to come over?
I said, Do you want to come over?
You can tell Logan to come as well, and Lana can come.
And then you're like, Listen, Jake wants to come as well, and he is a crew.
And I was like, Just give me a number.
And you were like, I think it's going to be 20.
I think it's going to be 20.
You invited 20 people to the Super Bowl party.
You guys, they got there before any of you guys got there.
So it looked like I was watching the Super Bowl with my fiancé alone, and you guys brought 20, 14-year-olds.
You roll with 20, 14-year-olds.
All Jake Paul, bro.
In Thongs.
Those weren't mine.
My girl's cooking salmon.
You got girls coming in in thongs.
The funniest visual is a bunch of fucking 30-year-olds being like, hey, you guys want some salmon?
And then, like, teenagers.
What am I going to offer them?
Come on.
They're 14 years old.
You want some salmon?
You want some pursuit?
What's all I can offer?
We were just so clearly washed in in our 30s when I was like, guys, it's really loud.
I'm trying to watch the game.
Literally, my girl's like, why don't you offer him a drink or something like that?
Milk?
Do you want to offer him some milk?
We can't formula.
Literally, how old were these girls?
They're not my, bro.
First of all, as you guys know, girlfriend.
Yeah.
Not allowed to talk to any other girls.
She monitors my calls with my mother.
I'm not a kid.
She's like, you're over your fucking limit.
I like it.
Put the fucking phone down.
I liked it.
So if you think I brought any of those fucking chicks yesterday, you're mistaken.
That was Jake Paul's entourage, bro.
He's always got an entourage.
He's got security.
Me and Logan roll lean.
Yeah, yeah.
Just normal guys.
Jake's got the six cars.
Jake had six watches on yesterday.
You may not have noticed six fucking watches, bro.
So, yeah, he rolls with who he wants to.
And we weren't looking at the watches, but were they to time the girls' birthdays?
They're 18.
I got this one turning 18 about six kids.
Can't wait, baby.
Can't wait.
As soon as the clock strikes 12, it's on, dude.
So y'all pulled up and then dipped on us at halftime, which I think was the right move.
I think everybody was happy about it.
Oh, I said that.
I said it to your wife.
You guys assumed this was going to be like a rager pool party.
Was that a little bit of the assumption?
No, I knew what kind of party was going to come up with.
Girls pulled up with thongs.
Listen, I knew when you told me, you're like, yo, with homework.
These girls were doing homework.
Why was the girl doing homework?
She was literally asking.
She said, what's the capital of Iowa?
I was like, you don't know your capital yet?
How old are these girls?
They're getting younger, bro.
No, you told me you were like, yo, it's just me, the wife, and wasabi.
And the homies.
I said the homies were going to come.
The homies.
But it did seem like I invited them after you guys came.
Like, I was like, well, I can't have a party with John.
I was wondering why he texted.
He's like, you guys are the only ones not here.
No, I heard him.
No, I heard him.
I looked over.
I seen him.
And he goes, yo.
I have friends too, guys.
I seen him on the phone because I went to check my crypto because I don't, you know, I quit everything else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just straight crypto now, right?
So I went to check.
I quit crack heroin.
I just shoot up straight up Ethereum now, bro.
Right into my veins.
He's going to run, bro.
Right into my veins.
I love it.
But I went to check on my Coinbase real quick and I looked over and he's like, Yo, what's up, Shorty?
He's like, I got Jake Paul in the house right now.
If you're trying to come through, he was flexing like Jake Paul was at his crib and shit, bro.
And she was like, I missed my retainer fit.
But I'll be over immediately afterwards.
No, I don't know how the fuck that happened, bro.
Just hella people showed up.
He's got security and shit.
He like away from them girls, probably.
Oh, maybe they're for the girls.
So they stop him.
They're like, yo, it ain't midnight yet, Jake.
Just hold up.
Hold up, brother.
Bro, it was so funny.
No, but you're a great home, bro.
Well, I mean, I want to make sure people are comfortable, but like, you know, we can't give the girls anything.
And I'm like, these girls just look young.
And you know, when you get old, I'm 37 years old.
Everybody just looks fucking young.
They're all probably 22, bro.
They probably are.
Not probably.
They're all 21.
Not even 18 plus.
They're all 21.
I'm assuming they're over 21.
Well, and also, don't fucking ask me.
I got one chick.
I don't talk to anybody else.
I mean, if I get to it, it's by my own girlfriend.
Listen, Lana went to sleep.
She passed out.
She passed out watching the Super Bowl.
Yeah, that was one day.
She passed out watching the Super Bowl.
And I saw you were talking to those girls, bro.
Bro, I told Joe about this.
Literally, he's on his phone.
He's like, I'll order you whatever jellies you want.
Jelly sandals and the news cool thing.
Yo, you're about to give them all new stuff.
You laugh right now.
I'm going to go back to the hotel and she's going to be sitting there with a fucking textbook to bash my brains in with.
No, no.
You can't even make that joke, bro.
I'm fucking around.
That's what I'm talking about.
We got to talk about that.
But no, no, this is important.
I thought that they're like, you know, these girls are probably 22 years old.
They're probably over 21 years old.
Definitely.
That's what it is.
That's 100%.
Right.
And then I saw Logan's boxing coach handing out snacks.
He had a tray.
Now, people think you're talking about drugs.
They're the elementary school.
Elementary school.
They're the little fun size in the back of the school bus.
Here's your little barbecue lace chips.
And the girl's eyes lit up.
Pick up the Super Bowl.
Dinged on.
It was like, it was like the right ones.
It was like, dude, funions, all the ones you would need until literally.
I literally saw two of the girls go like, oh my God, do you think you could trade me for a Cheezer?
She's just going crazy for Cheese.
You're going to retain her again, bro.
Hey, can I have some funyuns?
Do you mind if I have just a few funyans?
Is that cool?
That Milacunas commercial came on.
She's like, that's so relatable to me.
All over the house, too.
So we had a nice little time.
Where'd you guys go afterwards?
So we went to some like...
After you guys ditched our pool bar, bro.
Super pool party?
Because here's the deal.
Party is not the term for that.
We were just watching the Super Bowl.
That's what we are.
We're 37.
I can't have young sluts walking around my living room.
You did.
You did.
You had exactly what you can't have then, Andrew.
You fucked up, all right?
My girl's fucking sad, bro.
I felt the worst for her.
I kept looking over and she was just, she kept like looking at me like you fucking motherfucker.
You did this.
I will say every time Wasabi did something wrong, she looked at me like you can't even handle a fucking dog.
Like, what's wrong?
Everything was my fault.
I just met her for the first time.
She's like, you bring these goons and these fucking teeny boppers into my house.
You lose it.
It was absolutely great.
And you know what?
She said that Lana was the only girl there that made an effort with her.
She is, dude, listen.
She's like, she was the only girl that came up.
She made an effort.
She was really sweet.
She asked if I needed any help or anything like that.
And I thought that was very cool.
So shout out to Lana.
Yo, that is very cool.
And it's fucked up with them.
They didn't say shit.
No, I wanted to be 20, right?
I was nervous.
I wanted to.
People were scared, right?
They were talking big shit on the pod, right?
And then all of a sudden, in person.
Let me make this very clear.
That's how it always goes.
And I'm not saying these guys were, they were all cool last night, but bro, all those dudes, like, how could you date a girl that gets gum on her face like that, bro?
You see her in person?
And it's like, the cum is in their pants, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
But listen, listen, listen, listen.
Mark was walking around, tucked.
Listen.
Six to midnight.
Yo, listen.
I want to address it because I do remember the video.
I love you, bro.
She's seen the video.
I just want to let you know.
I love you.
I think you're great, man.
She's seen the video of the podcast.
And what were we saying?
I don't even remember what it was.
It was just, it was just the conviction.
What did I say?
What would I say?
I could never date a porn star.
What a surprise.
No problem with that.
It was basically just talking about this scenario where this dude, you know, some dude or multiple dudes have come on your girl.
But somebody like posts that picture on every tweet and you're like, yo, he could tweet about saving world.
You didn't even say multiple.
You suggested it.
Speaking of that, it's like you're bragging.
Only one dude came over here, I do far better.
I can do far better.
But yo, but listen, it's not, one, it's not for everybody.
You know what I'm saying?
And also to clear the air on everything, the biggest thing, the biggest thing is there's a difference between someone who's actively doing it right now, that whole scenario, like your girl comes home from work and you ask her, yo, how was work today?
And she was like amazing and the guy crying.
You know the meme.
You probably all seen the meme before.
Yeah, yeah.
You've seen it.
They've sent it to you.
I haven't seen it.
She's acting like everybody's seen it.
You never saw that meme before.
This is this guy.
They harass this guy.
This is bullying.
It's bullying.
It is, but like, yo.
It's bullying, bro.
As you said.
Yeah, yeah.
I love it.
Long story short.
Yeah.
Sweetest girl.
Yes.
Sweetest fucking girl.
Absolute sweetheart.
Everybody else around me, they're like, yo, I'm having troubles with my girl.
She cheated on me with Tyga.
She did, like, everybody telling me these stories.
You know, the classic LA thoughts.
That's more embarrassing than being a porn star is cheating with Tiger.
Yeah, this dude's fucked up.
This dude's fucked up.
Your girl went fucked up.
He's fucked everybody?
Everybody.
Really?
He's fucked everybody.
But listen, like.
Supposedly he's got a dick the size of a Cesna.
I'm not even kidding.
A double-edged Cessna, bro.
If you're a girl and you're watching this show, first of all, what the fuck are you doing?
And second of all, go fuck Saigon right now.
We're bringing in the labels.
You have a great studio.
You have a great studio.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But yo, she's out the game.
Absolute sweetheart and the most loyal girl in the entire.
Like, bro, there's just never a single second.
We've had our breakups.
We've had our moments where I was like, okay, now that she's broken up with me, she's going to answer one of those DMs.
I could name 10 fucking A-listers right now that are in her DMs right now.
Really?
I'm not going to do it.
Friends of yours ever?
No.
Try to shoot her shot?
No, no, no.
Everybody's very respectful.
Everybody in my immediate circle is very respectful.
Well, they better be.
She's a sweetheart.
When you meet her, bro, you met her last night.
What was your take on her?
I mean, she's just sweet.
But that's what I assumed that she would be.
Really?
You've seen the, probably seen the things she's capable of, bro.
No, no, I think she bullies you.
She does.
She does.
She'll fire right back.
But my thing is, it's not about Lana.
I think it's just really brave of you.
I don't know if it's bravery.
She's very secure.
Yeah, that's what it is.
But I wonder if this is because of I wonder if it's because of the addiction.
Yes.
Like, I wonder if you get to a point where you don't care what people think of you.
Andrew.
You had much worse things in your mouth.
Like, you're forced to 100%.
You know what I mean?
I think, bro, if you were like, came out to me back in the day and you were like, yo, this is the only pipe I could find.
I found it in the gutter of Bridgeport outside the bodega.
It's got infamil baby powder all over it from the last person that pawned something for fucking.
I'm like, dude, I don't give a shit.
I'm fucking hating that fuck.
Accepting Past Mistakes00:04:59
Yeah.
I was a crackhead.
Yes.
I was sharing needles with, bro.
Like, so yes.
So yes, you have a great point.
You have a great point.
But like, also, is there freedom to that?
I'm actually, I'm really curious about that.
Like, once you come to the point where you're like, I don't care what people think about me, like, I accept me.
Go suck a dick.
Tell me something that's going to upset me right now.
How the fuck could I, bro?
I should be dead 50 times over, bro.
I've had more visits to ICU.
I've had scars all over my body.
I've been cut open.
Every surgery had my spleen removed.
I broke my femur.
I fractured my skull.
Well, here's the other reason.
No, I will.
That's why.
Here's the other reason I'm not upset about it.
I'm not me too, dude.
I am a fat, balding, middle-aged man with mental health problems, dude.
Okay.
So I'm going to try commenting.
I feel like it's honestly.
We've been waiting, right?
Just switch your name, dude.
Okay.
Tuck it in.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was it.
Whoa, whoa.
I got this one right here.
And is that the ankle that you got?
Plates, screws, everything.
I can't, you know, you know, the biggest thing I got is my dick.
What happened?
It's just huge.
It's massive.
There's no issue with it.
What's up?
There's no issue with it.
I just wanted to throw that out there just in case Tyga's watching.
Let him know he's got some competition out there.
Now, when you, have you ever done like AA, NAA stuff?
I did about six months of NA after I got on rehab in 2010, but then I got addicted to work and that never left.
And now that's all I do.
So you transfer the addiction.
It was good.
Yeah.
Okay, that's perfect.
Some people do it for like, you know, the gym or whatever, obviously, you know.
I wish I was that guy, dude.
I wish I was that guy, bro.
No, all you do is eat dessert.
Your Instagram is amazing.
Yeah.
It's a mukbang.
Yeah, it's just like always on 24/7.
Yeah, which is another way to pronounce your last fucking name that I'll never learn.
But seriously, it's just such a crazy thing to like, I don't know.
In the weirdest way, is if you can survive that, you have a superpower.
Absolutely.
I mean, dude, because like I said, like, what are you going to do?
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Is there anything you're insecure about?
Is there anything?
Of course.
Of course.
I have, bro, I have an anxiety condition.
I still get nervous.
I still, you know, and don't let me come on here and say that the situation and Lana's past like that.
I'm all 100% cool with it.
Like, oh, yeah, yeah, I was completely cool with all those guys.
That's great.
Like, I don't think anybody will ever be completely cool with it, but I accept the fact that people have pasts, bro.
I have a horrible, horrible past where I did terrible things.
I broke my mother's heart.
I fucked myself up.
She got to accept your past.
Yeah.
My past.
Your past is far worse.
Dramatically worse.
She's embarrassed about his past more than he is about.
Or maybe they both just don't judge one another on the past.
And then that's your kind of like mutual connection.
It is.
And that's what a lot of people that have like, I don't know how, but people that have like this like inherent or innate interest in our relationship and watch it and say like, this is very cool.
They saved each other.
It's called super hot chick.
That's interesting.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Wow.
Wow.
All right.
I'll watch Mikey the Hamburger too.
Nah, dude, that is cool, man.
I don't know.
I just always think about that.
And I guess maybe I always wondered why you haven't tried stand-up.
Or have you tried?
I have.
I know.
And I want to.
And I was actually.
Because you think in bits.
Yeah, I do.
I think in vignettes.
And so I want to.
And I want to write it.
Don't ever say that again.
You know, I hate that word.
I'm not writing yet here, to be honest.
I'm not going to do it.
It's working with you and hard to fucking spell shit.
I have a podcast.
But in terms of like the way your brain works, like sometimes when we'd be on the pod and you'd be joking around, or even when we'd be busting balls, they'd kind of, it'd be similar to a way a comedian thinks, right?
There's like another layer.
There's like another layer of, I don't know, misdirection added onto it.
And I'd be like, I'm wondering if you ever tried stand-up or something.
You got to have stories.
That's why I asked about the NAA thing because a lot of times you're like speaking in front of people, right?
You have this like, you know, captive audience, and they're the best audience.
I've done like AA shows and shit.
And like, cause you can't offend them because they're like, I used to suck dicks for drugs.
Yeah.
Like, your little sexist joke isn't going to make me go mean.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And they're used to listening.
So they're like these incredible audiences.
And, but I was wondering if you ever like were telling these stories and kind of making people laugh that you were like, oh shit, maybe I should give this.
I know I should.
The only thing that's really stopped me is one, the YouTube money is really fucking good.
And I don't even have to get on a fucking stage.
Like I can just hang out with the homies and like be at the one hotel and film for five minutes and use a fucking hundred.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it's it's it's so like but but yeah, but I have nice people that do both.
There are and when I look at Make a ton of money.
Fixing Energy with Kratom00:04:54
Is she okay?
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
But listen, when I look at YouTube and then I look at all the other things we're talking about today, even Logan at the height of YouTube and other people, we all look at still very much in our hearts look at something like stand up or television, the mainstream stuff as a level up.
You have to go with television out of there, but whatever, whatever.
But I'm saying, like, stand up.
I'm sorry.
I respect it incredibly.
You should have admiration.
A huge skill.
And so, like, superheroes.
We really are.
No, we seriously are.
A lot of respect should be thrown in our direction.
The most.
Like, right now, get on your knees, fight.
Right now.
Those lines are done, bro.
I can buy my own crack.
I don't got a suck dick no more.
Yo, is there ever part of you now that's like, shit, if I was addicted now, bro?
Ed.
Because you could actually do it.
I could be like, you ran out of money before you could carry it right now.
Oh, dude.
I would, bro, how much?
I would get the best shit because I would have all the people that are like, yo, I love your show, man.
I got grade A shit.
I used to have to settle for pistol wave in New Haven shit back in the day.
That was crap.
Really bad.
Stepped on.
So this is good.
It's good that you made this money in the time of your life where you got shit a little bit more figured out.
Yeah.
Now the only thing I bought so far has been a car for my mom.
Okay.
That's it.
That was my first big purchase.
Where'd you get her?
An Audi.
There we go.
Okay.
There you go.
And it was like the proudest moment of my fucking life.
Did she forgive you?
Yeah.
100%.
99%.
99%.
Is that hard going through that process where you have to apologize to these people who you hurt?
All right, guys.
Let's take a break for a second because I could tell y'all are stressed out.
Okay.
I could tell your energy levels are fucked up.
I'm going to fix all that right now.
Kratom.
Okay.
Kratom.
Let me tell you something.
Kratom is, I don't know what the fuck it is.
I'll be honest.
It's like CBD, but it's different.
What do you mean?
It's a plant.
It's an herb.
Right.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sorry.
I was fucking around.
Okay.
I'll do it.
Let me get into it.
And then if I look over at you, then I'll have you.
I'll have it coming.
All right.
All right.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because I can tell your energy levels are all fucked up.
You're a little anxious and shit.
I want to fix all that.
And this is how we're going to fix it.
We're going to fix it with Kratom.
Okay.
Now, you ask me right now, what the fuck is Kratom?
I'm going to tell you what the fuck it is.
Okay.
First of all, the brand is super speciosa.
Okay.
The Latin scientific name of the plant is mito some shit.
I don't fucking know.
The reality is this, is I don't know what the fuck this thing is.
Hold on.
All right, guys, let's take a break talk about kratom.
If you've never heard of kratom, it's an herbal supplement, kind of like CBD.
Got it.
Okay.
Lucky, we're not doing that one take.
Yeah, we're not doing this one take shit.
Sorry, guys.
All right.
Ready and go.
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Hell yeah, bro.
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No.
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Now let's get back to the shit.
So that's obviously like part of the 12 steps is like making amends to people that you've that you've that you've hurt.
Forgive Yourself and Move On00:04:16
And I, in a way, I kind of skipped that step.
The 11 steps.
Oh, shit.
Damn, I knew I got through all 12 pretty fast.
I must have missed one.
Yeah, I know.
That step is painful.
Yeah, you know who didn't forget is your mom.
She's remembering that.
Well, so I read the book and they're like, they're like, yeah, you have to, you know, make them know that what you did was wrong and that you couldn't do better.
And I was like, how about I just like buy her a car?
Is that cool?
And she was like, yeah, like girls are like pretty thin.
Pretty things, exactly.
So I bought her a car and that was a great, a great moment for me.
But, but no, I don't think I'll ever, I don't think I'll ever like be able to make up like completely for.
But they say, they say that just for talking to friends of mine who are like in the, what is it called? The program.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
They're like, a lot of it is also for you.
It's like allowing you to forgive yourself.
Yeah, I don't think I skipped that one too.
Honestly, I'm on step one still, bro.
Let's be honest.
Guys, I'm here to tell you today I have a problem.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
You keep listing out these steps.
Like, what the fuck do they have now?
He's going to start his addiction again when he walks out.
I'm in Miami.
This is really bad.
Whole bar right next to you, not a single bottle open.
Actually, I've been off the booze too.
Yeah, you don't drink.
But what's interesting is I bet most people assume when like you're out partying that you're drunk.
No, so I've been really because you're like social.
Yeah.
And a lot of times people in those in those gatherings, I don't know.
It's so weird.
Like the assumption is, especially when you meet people, I think on the internet, the assumption or leaving comics, like, oh, they're going to be funny all the time.
And it's like, I'll be funny when I'm talking to my homies.
Yeah.
I'll be funny when like a conversation presents itself, but I'm not just like tap dancing every second.
That'd be funny on my terms.
Exactly.
I did say when I'm phone.
Exactly.
So you are incredibly comfortable socially.
I picked that up yesterday.
I am.
That's kind of like my safe spot.
Like that's, that's where I'm more comfortable around like groups of people.
So that's why I kind of think like if I can fall into the into the stand-up thing, that it would work really well for me.
Right.
Because I actually, that energy of having that crowd around me that's like really invested in the storyline and the jokes actually fuels me.
And once I start seeing the laughs and seeing the people like, yo, reacting to your jokes, I'm just like, let's fucking go.
And I just have seen so much of your shit when, and you have the same stuff.
Like once you find the right person in the audience or whatever it is, or you get on a rampage, like you just fucking heat up.
That's, yeah, that's a gasoline for me.
Like it's actually hard.
It's weird.
It's harder for me, much harder for me to like write jokes without a crowd.
Yeah.
Like I like taking an idea up there and kind of like letting their energy dictate where we go with it.
I'm almost like, I'm way worse at it.
I can be up there and people are oftentimes like, how do you think of that in the moment?
And I'm just like, how does somebody think of this not in the moment?
Right, right.
You just sit around and think of clever shit.
It just seems weird.
Did you have trouble with that with that situation when you went to sit and deliver the Netflix stuff because you like don't have that crowd there?
Like when you say the jokes for the Netflix thing, do these guys all laugh?
No, we like we because they've already heard it, probably wrote help, yeah.
Mark, Mark, and I wrote it.
There's a couple other guys, F.A. and Robbie Slovak and give them, and then Akash would help us as well.
So it's like, we all knew what was coming.
Sometimes Alex, we usually would like, you know, basically go through it once with Alex just to make sure there wasn't something too racist.
He was like a buffer for racism.
And he literally, usually, if there was something he laughed really hard at at the end, he'd be like, oh, yeah, you got to get rid of that.
Like, this is good for this setting.
Definitely got it up.
Right.
But, but, yeah, so, like, everybody knows.
So it's this delayed satisfaction, right?
It's like we all are waiting for it to post on YouTube or post on Netflix or post on Instagram.
And then we're just kind of seeing and hoping people like it.
But the thing is, we're so close to the content by the time we release it, we're like, oh, none of this is funny, right?
Like, there's not a single funny joke in the whole thing because we've watched it and rewritten it and rewritten it and rewritten it for fucking months.
So like having people, I think the first day it came out, like Mark was so fucking terrified.
Like the first project he gets to work on is a Netflix show.
This guy's 23 years old, right?
And also the most stylish, just a couple of person I've ever met.
Waiting for Content Approval00:10:14
Bro, I roll up last night.
He's got the rude shorts on.
Hasn't changed this shit.
I'm like, yo, this dude is the best shit.
Still tucked.
Still tucked.
I was talking.
All I have are just clothes that like friends send me like this phase clan shit.
I've never bought anything except for a car for my what is this video game shit that you're in?
What's going on with this?
What do I do?
Are you like Twitch?
Are you talking about Twitch?
Yeah, like, oh, out of nowhere, you're like, I do video games.
Bro, I do.
You know how somebody could be like Stephen A. Smith, but for us, you know how people always say they're like, yo, find your find your love, find your passion, and dive in 100%.
No, no, no, I don't do that.
I've done every heroin.
Yeah.
That was for me.
That was like that one I did.
Stop diving.
Yes.
Yes.
That one I did full born.
No distractions.
Mom, shut up.
I'm doing my heroin.
Hey shut the fuck up, mom.
Nobody talks about that kind of commitment.
Oh, it's a huge commitment.
Dude, nobody sacrifices more than a drug addict.
That's true.
You're about that life.
You're sacrificing.
You give up everything you love.
That's fact.
That's what always makes me think it's got to be worth it.
I mean, I got a best-selling book out of it.
So for me, totally worth it.
You know, it was for me.
But if you don't have it, what's the spleen?
Yeah, fuck us.
You can have it.
I don't need it after I'm 18, anyways.
Stops producing antibodies.
Is that what a spleen does?
Yeah, produce antibodies.
So you're just out here in a COVID world with no antibodies and no ability to produce them.
No, but I think they're all bad.
I think the herpes antivirals kick in for Corona, too.
So, yeah.
Wait, what is that?
That was a joke.
I wouldn't laugh, bro.
Wait, man.
I was actually like, hold on.
I'm paying attention.
He's like, that one never got it.
Yo, video games.
Yes.
Book.
Yes.
Book number two.
Yes.
Book number one, being picked up and made into a movie.
Yes.
YouTube.
Yes.
Podcast.
Yes.
Twitch.
Yes.
Like, bro, here's the problem.
Like, I'm doing everything.
Yeah.
And now that is the heroin.
You know what I'm saying?
That is the, that is the drug.
And so it's like when sweet Lana, who deserves the world because she was the rocket fuel lately to the rocket ship.
Yeah.
And she's like, yo, can we just like get a launch or something?
I'm like, baby, I'm shooting to like, I don't, I can't do it.
Wow.
You said no to her for us.
For you guys, for you guys, she would allow it.
You know what I'm saying?
Because she, you want to know why?
Why?
Because she sees y'all as like real, like, because of the comedy thing.
Real Sam and Don't.
I'm not even playing.
I'm not even playing.
It's the Sam.
And the Sam.
She went to it.
She was like, these guys ain't getting into no trouble.
Sam and Donovan's fucking Doris.
Party with Sam and Donald's.
Oh my God, they got side talents.
What a bunch of quiz.
It was so funny.
It was so funny watching Jake with 14 watches on reach into a fucking Cheetos pet.
A little Cheetos pet.
I want him to end bananas.
We're from a local bakery.
Fuck out.
What are you doing?
Yo, we're the goats, bro.
We're the one who's got a lot of people.
That was great.
That food was great.
Oh, no.
My girl could whip it down.
Yeah, she's going around.
You really, you struggle.
You're not playing around.
Yo, who are these Syrian migrants that you brought into the studio?
Who are these guys?
So I was actually...
That's the caravan, bro.
That's the caravan.
Is that the caravan?
Did you bring them in?
We went out on a yacht yesterday.
And you just saw a fucking dinghy.
Yo, we're supposed to push that shit back to Cuba.
Is this Elian?
Elian, Elian.
Eleon Salis.
Nah, these are these kids.
They're the cats.
Yeah, I got two guys.
They're both shooters.
They're both shooters.
Yeah, there's no one's like video and the other one's like a shooter, like a real shooter.
Oh, he holds it down.
Yeah, it's like, no, I'm just playing.
Like, what is he shooting?
Nah, they're both camera guys.
So like, so like one, one actually shoots for Logan's subscription club because we got a subscription club too, by the way.
One of my other things.
I don't know any of these.
Let's talk about it after.
And then the other one, Justin, is going to is going to start shooting with me because it's just having the camera with you all the time.
That's how you get the real gold.
Because we turn it on, dude.
Like, imagine if somebody had a camera last night for your shit at the house last night with Logan and Jake there.
We were just shooting all the shit.
Guys, no views.
And he's like, the Paul Brothers just ate what they used to do.
That's more shit for the Paul Brothers band.
They sit on couches and fucking eat salmon tacos.
We're the goats, bro.
We ain't trying to impress nobody.
I am going to talk about it.
I was so much happy.
Y'all get snacks, bro.
That's what y'all get.
Because I was so much happier.
They left.
I was like, I can hear the commentary.
Oh, yeah.
We want to just talk about football.
We all get to sit on the couch.
Exactly.
Nah, man.
You know what it is?
It's like, I'll be honest, I just like shooting the shit and talking.
And there was a little part of me.
That's why I wanted you guys to just come.
I was like, I just want all of us to hang out.
And Jake, I want him to come too.
That's fine.
Just hang out and watch a game.
But once like 20 people.
Once the shorty started showing up, I was out.
You know what it was?
It's just tougher because I didn't want it to become like a social moment.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, we shot a little video outside.
That's fine.
But like, I just want to do this.
That's what I love about a podcast.
It's like, it's not interrupted where we're trying to like throw shit on a gram or whatever like that.
Like, I just, I enjoy your company.
Yeah.
So I just want to pick your brain about shit.
You can pick my brain about shit and just have some.
And I was kind of looking forward to that a little bit.
And then his girl's walking through the fucking living room with thongs on.
That was so funny.
That was so funny.
It was terrifying.
That was literally terrifying.
What am I supposed to do?
I literally told my girls like, you see these girls wearing thongs?
And then I realized, like, I'm just admitting I'm looking at these girls.
Snitch on yourself.
Do you ever have those moments in life like where you're like, yo, how the fuck did I get here?
Like to this moment?
Like you're sitting on the couch.
Well, actually, you're sitting in a kitchen chair because your couch is taken by one of the most disgraced YouTuber now boxers of all time.
The number one porn star in the world, an ex-crackhead, and a dog named after an Asian condiment.
He's like all on the couch.
You're like, how did I get from Brooklyn or wherever the fucking to right here to this event?
Fucking shit.
This duplex in Miami, bro.
What's so weird?
It's like, none of this shit even shocks me anymore.
I'll tell you what was the most shocking combo last night.
His guy who's training Jake is a boxer named Jaleon.
Jaleon.
I don't know.
Jaleon.
Jaleon Love.
Jaleon Love.
And I've like kind of like followed his career a bit because I know he was under like Mayweather.
And he told me the most fascinating story about how he got signed to Mayweather.
And I want to have him on the pods and tell him.
Yeah, well, I got his number.
I'll hit him up.
But like, man, it was so cool.
It was like this story of like we were talking on a couple episodes ago about like the value of being starving in the fight world.
And I think that's actually the toughest thing for Logan and Jake is that like they have money.
They have success and they have fame.
They got a fallback.
So they have a fallback.
Like when Dustin was fighting Conor McGregor, like Conor Rear got kicked in his leg and then thought, oh, I'm worth $100 million.
I don't get kicked in the leg.
I have watches that are worth millions.
This is stupid.
It's stupid for me to be in here.
So, and fucking hell.
Jaleon.
Jalen.
I'm trying to pronounce it with the apostrophe because it's Jay apostrophe Leon.
Jaleon.
It's almost like you're overcomplicating the situation.
Yeah, I really am.
I want it to sound authentic.
Jay Leon.
Like he means I'm French against you.
So, and he was like, and he basically said he just moved to Vegas on a whim.
And he's like, I'm hoping I'm going to get the call up.
And he got the call to spar Mayweather.
So he shows up to the gym and he's there.
And like, Mayweather's, of course, not there.
And he asked one of the guys, he goes, When do you think he'll come?
And he goes, man, he might not be here for five, six hours.
So it's him and a bunch of other sparring partners.
And he's like, fuck it, I'm going to take a nap.
So he decides to take a nap.
So he's like, well rested.
And he gets up from the nap in a couple of hours.
Mayweather comes in six hours, picks him and one other person.
He could have not picked him.
And then he could have never had that shot.
He gets a chance to go in there with Mayweather and he said that Mayweather is incredibly precise.
Like hits him and he's so fast.
He goes, but he goes, he's 160-pounder.
Now he's fighting 168.
He's like, I'm bigger.
I can hit harder.
So he goes, basically, whenever Mayweather threw, I just threw at the same time.
I knew I was going to get caught twice, but I was going to catch him once.
And he said that he was able to bloody Mayweather's nose.
Yeah.
And bloody's lip a little bit.
But they were going afterwards.
And Mayweather goes, he stops the sparring session and he goes, turn up the clock.
And what that means is he's going to extend the round time.
So that's when he tries to take people into deep water.
Six minutes, seven minute rounds.
And Jalen, Jalen?
Jaleon.
Jaleon.
I'm never going to remember.
I'm sorry, Jaleon.
I'm sorry, Jaleon.
So watching this.
I was wrong this whole time.
Yeah, it really is.
Jalen.
Jaleon, bro.
He's watching somewhere in Paris right now.
Like, what the fuck is this man saying?
He's butchering my name.
I made up the whole thing.
I can't do the words.
So he goes, he turns up.
They go at it for a while.
And afterwards, Mayweather comes up to him in the locker room.
He goes, Man, you could fight.
Now, Jalen, I can't do it.
I'm going to say, love.
Mr. Love made a decision to not be afraid of Mayweather and not try to get on his good side, not be cautious, give him light work, if you will, just roll with the punches, etc.
He made the decision that go after him.
And it was a smart decision because greats respect when you go after courage.
They respect the courage.
They know they had that same thing.
And that's what they iron sharpens iron.
And he goes up to me.
He goes, Where are you from?
He goes, I'm from Detroit.
And you know, Floyd's from Michigan.
Floyd's from Flint, Michigan.
Grand Rapids, right?
Or Grand Rapids or Flint?
Maybe it's Grand Rapids.
But he's from Michigan as well.
He goes, Oh, shit.
He goes, Who's your manager right now?
He was signed to Lou DiBella, who was a guy who was promoting boxing out of New York.
And he goes, Call him up right now and tell him I'm buying you out of your contract.
And that day changes his entire life.
Holy shit.
He goes and ends up winning the WBA belt.
I mean, like, it was just, I'm listening to this story.
Respect Courage in Others00:14:22
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because some of you smell bad.
Simple as that.
Hygiene is trash.
Step up your hygiene, Green.
Whatever it is.
Step that shit up.
You're stinking.
All right.
Your armpits are sweaty, getting all in your t-shirts and stuff.
You think because you're on Zoom meetings, you don't got to smell good.
You still got to smell good.
All right.
You're still going out to get coffee, drinks, et cetera.
And how are you going to do that?
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Oh, branding is packaging.
You look like you're paying extra money for a deodorant.
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You look rich.
We had a studio deodorant for Mark because Mark would never wear deodorant.
We had a Hawthorne studio deodorant for Mark.
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I'm just like, this is one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard.
Crazy.
Of one day changing someone's life.
Your entire life.
The guy's got family now.
Like one fucking day can change your life, man.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah, I mean, Logan introduced me to Lana Rhodes one day.
And that shit.
It changed my life.
Now, were you choosing this guy?
He was starving.
This guy was starving.
I was like, I got one shot.
I was like, it was like that scene.
It was like that scene in Euro trip when they're in like Estonia and he gets the nickel and he goes to the guy.
I quit.
I went up to Logan.
I was like, I ain't your assistant no more, bitch.
I'm out of here.
Is that how you started?
Did you?
No, I was never his assistant.
How did you guys get connected?
So I was on the brand side working with a company called Lovesack.
Everybody still has me in their phone as Mike Lovesack.
Back in the day.
That's Mike Impulsive.
Yeah, that works.
And I'll never put your last name in life.
Nobody ever does because no one knows how to say it.
It's insulting to my phone.
Yeah, it's just going to be like the red dots under, but they don't even suggest how to spell it.
Like, what is his Aaron J?
Yeah.
Why is that there?
Yeah, yeah.
But I was a Malac.
Malac certes.
I was a marketing director for this brand, and I met him on this opportunity.
He wanted these giant beanbag chairs for his house.
So I gave them to him.
We ended up linking up later.
And like, long story short, we hung out a couple times.
We fell in love and lived happily ever after.
Started a podcast together.
Now it's obviously the world's number one podcast.
Every time Joe sees that, he's like, he's fucking scumpy.
These morons.
It is a great podcast, man.
It's a lot of fun, man.
You know what I like about your setup is that it feels like a show.
There's so many people that are watching.
Like, I get charged up because there's like an audience.
Like, I think when I went and did your pod, that was the first time that I kind of was like funny in front of a group of people in maybe eight months, nine months.
Yeah.
Because I just haven't been performing, right?
Like, obviously, when we're all just busting balls here, it's so inside, you know?
Yeah.
But, and it was really fun.
And, and it was, uh, yeah, it was, I don't know if that's like by design, but it works out.
You mean the people that are watching in the room?
Yeah, like the fact that you guys have so many parasites just trying to suck money out of you guys.
It actually worked.
Why'd you look at them?
Like, Ranch.
No, I don't know.
I just wanted to gauge the reaction.
They're like, if you talking about me, fuck.
No, I guess I'm back to Cuba tomorrow.
Back to Cuba.
Fuck.
This kid was at the house so coked up.
It was seasoned.
He was so crazy.
Dude, he was so coked up.
It was unbelievable.
Yes, you.
Just running back and forth.
What's the Wi-Fi code?
What's the Wi-Fi code?
What's the Wi-Fi called?
No, it ain't cocaine.
It's working for Logan Paul, bro.
Is that it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's an abusive ball.
He's not.
He's great.
But yo, we love the podcast.
Out of all the things that I'm blessed to fucking do, like whether it's the YouTube, the Twitch, all the things we talked about.
Yeah.
The podcast is the most fun.
And Logan, the same.
Like, he loves boxing.
He loves the size of the prize that he gets from the box.
He loves the thrill of the fight.
But the podcast, man, is just me and him.
You're not getting hit in the fucking face.
Yeah, that helps.
That probably helps.
Yeah, that helps.
That helps.
No, but we got this dynamic, man.
And we're best friends, bro.
And it's just so much fun.
And I think, you know, after 250 some odd episodes, like we've gotten quite good at it.
And we've had some big talents on there.
And the Mike Tyson episode and the 6ix9ine exclusive.
And, you know, all the stuff that we've been able to do on the show has been has been crazy.
And Andrew Scholz probably with two of the, I would say, two of the funniest episodes.
We had fun, man.
It was a fun episode.
I like that there's not a lot of ego on your podcast because like Logan is without a doubt a bigger name, but you talk a lot on the podcast.
And it doesn't ever seem like he's, I don't know, it shows a lot of confidence.
The vibe I have from him last night, he seems very comfortable in his own skin.
Oh, he is.
He's got the super confidence.
It's not real.
No.
And what I'm saying is, like, there could be a situation where because he's a bigger name, he might have an ego.
He might be like, yo, why are you trying to outshine me or whatever?
But it seems like you guys are trying to create the best product.
And sometimes that means that you're going to have a connection with a guest.
And I'm sure sometimes it means that he is.
But I don't know.
It's admirable when you see people in that situation.
I mean, you kind of named it exactly with the connection to the guests.
I mean, we've had our moments.
Like, we've had walk-offs.
We've had arguments.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, there was one time where he looked at the sign and he said, yo, it's impulsive, not in Mike's.
Like, we've had those, but not out of ego, but probably due to my ego.
Because in all honesty, like you start banging a porn star, you think you're hot shit.
No, it was before that.
But like when I joined Logan Paul.
And you were banging a different porn star.
Not untrue, unfortunately.
That one wasn't retired.
Active duty.
Active duty.
But when I first met him in 2018, like he was, or sorry, when I first started really working with him in 2018 or late 2017, he was the clean face Logan Paul, not as much like Logan Paul.
He was the, he was, you know, just post-Tokyo.
His rebrand was brilliant.
Massive.
And so like, you know, I've been there with him every single day as we work together to turn him into someone that is a very humble, likable guy.
You know what I'm saying?
And very much like Alana, he continues to suffer under the stigma of under the umbrella that is his past.
You know what I'm saying?
And he did a lot of cringe shit.
He did a lot of egotistical shit.
He ain't suffering by any fucking means.
Yeah, but I hear what you're saying.
It's hard for him to outrun it.
He's got to lean into it.
That's what I would do.
I don't know, but I that's what Jake does.
So that's what Jake.
Jake leans all in.
Logan has become very, very humble, very smart.
And the thing with the podcast, when you bring that up and lack of ego there is Logan is an innately good businessman and purveyor of quality content.
And within the first 50 to 100 episodes, he saw in me the podcast.
He said, yo, that's the fucking podcast host.
That's the guy.
And now it's our list.
That's what I'm doing for you.
For sure.
And now it's our, because I love to talk.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll notice it again.
You're almost like a throwback radio guy.
Yeah.
No, I mean it sincerely.
Like I could see, right?
Like there is a vibe.
You can talk.
You can shoot the shit.
Energy and an enthusiasm.
Yeah.
Because I want to be like, yo, this is radio.
I'm just saying, if we were having this conversation in the 90s, you would be getting into radio.
Right, right.
100%.
Like on Howard Show or something.
I'm talking about porn stars.
Like, but like he, he gets, he'll get an hour and 15 deep and he'll start looking at the clock because he's got shit to do or he's got a box.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I'm like, dude, I got another four hours in the tub.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm ready.
Give me a fucking coffee or a red one.
Let's bang this out until tomorrow morning, bro.
You know, I want to talk.
Allie, we have Alex Jones on the show.
This motherfucker's staying for six hours.
I'm here for the marathon.
Yeah.
You know, and Logan's always, yo, can we get some food really quick?
I'm like, bro.
I want to stay.
And so he saw that in me and was like, yo, let's activate it.
And he gave me a piece of the show and said, yo, this is your show now.
You know what I'm saying?
And really leaned into it and was like, yo, like, this is great.
And so we've had a ton of fun.
It's been, it's been a blast.
And now all he wants to do is box.
That's it.
Yeah.
He loves boxing, bro.
Does it bother him that I like you more?
Due to your age, no.
I think he sees it as like a, he sees it as like a, as like a.
He's a good guy.
I like Mike Mall.
I don't know.
I don't know your last name, dog.
That's Malik.
It's a J.
This is a J. Malik.
Yeah, don't use it, though.
May lack certain skills.
But yeah, he's like, I mean, these two were in NAM together.
He was like, yo, these two served in Korea or Vietnam together.
Like, these guys, you know, they've been through a lot.
They got to eat mashed potatoes through a straw for dinner.
They can't get their dick card without Blue Chew.
Shout out Blue Chew.
Yo, did you chew up first time?
I don't even know this.
I'm the face of the brand.
No, I'm not even kidding.
I'm not even playing.
I do more, bro.
I have a 24-7 always-on Blue Chew partnership.
I love it.
But did you love it?
You had to bring it the first time you went down.
I talk.
Fucking guys always think they're like, oh, damn, like that girl's been with this many guys.
Like, even about a scene chick in LA.
Yeah.
I'm like, geez, I'm really.
Scene chicken chick.
You know, like the girl like Hyde or like Morwick.
Super Bowl party.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scene chicks, right?
Like, damn, I'm, yo, I heard scenes.
I heard the homie fucked her at Coachella and he was a molly.
He probably gave her good.
Now I got to throw down.
All girls want the same thing.
Most girls.
Yeah, yeah.
Most girls, not the scene chicks, but most girls, they want a dude that they have a connection with.
They want a dude that they have that emotional connection with.
Like, yo, that chemistry, right?
That might be true.
But I knew it's coming.
That might be true.
Yeah.
But there's still a part of you that wants to, I don't know.
You want to show up.
You might feel inadequate.
Absolutely.
Fuck.
I'm trying to be careful.
It wasn't the first time I was with an adult film.
Like, it wasn't the 10th time I was with him.
I know it wasn't the first time.
You said adult film star.
Yeah.
I tried to keep it.
I tried to get a little bit of a bad thing.
Scene chick, adult film star.
I said born, but he's like, no, no, no, I know.
Yeah, like, I tried to, like, we had hung out.
We had been hanging out with like Riley for like a year by that point.
She was just like hanging around, hooking us up with like every one of the top.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
So, like, I think maybe in the beginning, I was like, yo, dude, this girl fucked Mandingo.
Like, I got to really bring it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, my dick's only like a 150th of Mandingo.
He has a Cesna, a double-engine Cessna, like Taiga.
Yes, yeah.
Dude, I got to show up.
Yeah.
But, um, but no, it's not really.
Zero insecurity about following Taiga.
Yeah, you got it.
Is it a good follow?
No, I would have zero insecurity about following Tyga.
Oh, like following him in a vagina or on Instagram?
Yeah, even if my dick is smaller, just in general, zero insecurity.
Because of his height?
Yeah.
He's like four foot six.
Face shape.
Yeah.
There's something about his face that I was like, I think it's okay that now they're not looking at that.
You ever seen an intercontinental ballistic missile up close before?
Yeah.
His penis is a nuclear weapon.
I'm drinking like this.
Yes.
No, that's way too small.
He's the six-gallon pole and spring.
The pole and spring thing that you drop in a piece of shit.
He's got to grab on the side.
Yeah, to carry a paddle.
Fall over, you still fall over, but no, but and I, you know, like, listen, and the other thing is shout out to you, Tyga, shout out, shout out, Tya, what is it called?
Swordsman, too, too, too raw is his uh OnlyFans management service.
Listen, also, I'm just not lacking there.
I mean, I'm not may lack more dick.
Like, I'm not good there.
I got it.
You're heading.
Exactly.
Well, I pop a Chewie, a BC, a Blue Doo, Blue Chew for like an extra 20% on top of my 100.
Yeah, occasionally.
Occasionally, just when I really want to throw the fuck down, but no, I'm not, I got no issues there.
Like, I've never no complaints.
You weren't feeling inadequate.
And after you've probably been with a few of these girls that are in the adult film industry, you start to realize maybe some of their sexual proclivities as well.
Like the first time, maybe it's a little bit more jarring, but after that, you start to realize, like, oh, okay, I see.
They just want some connection.
They don't want to just.
Bro, they're all honestly, they're all the coolest girls that I've had the pleasure of hanging out with.
Yeah.
Not like take the sex out of it, but they're all like, like you have to, you have to assume that they are a little bit more liberal, a little bit more open to adventure than the average woman, right?
So, you know, they're just, they're just really cool girls.
And to be completely honest with you, like, that space is horrible, man.
It's like, like, what do you mean?
Dude, my, dude, my girlfriend, Amara, because her name's not actually Lana, it's Amara, you know, got into that space when she was 18 years old.
And there's all these people out there and they'll say, oh, yeah, but she made so much money.
She got her name because of that.
All of that's true.
And she made a lot of money more than I think any other star in the space.
Like, she's made a ton of fucking money.
A ton.
She's a Logan Paul of porn.
She's the Logan Paul of Porn.
She's the Jeffree star of porn.
Yeah.
Right.
But she was pushed to do things that she should have never.
Like, she would show, like, you know, at first, it started off as very like light stuff, like, just her by herself.
And then the agent said, you know, come to this shoe.
And she went to the shoot and there was like two guys.
And then it turned into a fucking interracial.
And then it turned into an old guy.
And like, guys before interracial?
Yeah.
They're just like, yo, we don't want to push.
The Dark Side of Fame00:15:37
We don't want to push her.
We don't want to push her too hard.
So we'll give her two white guys first.
They really don't like white people moving in the neighborhood.
No, but it's a big thing.
You're for an IR scene.
Like some girls don't do it at all, right?
Yeah.
But like, she, dude, why is that?
I don't know.
Maybe some girls just don't.
I don't know.
No, but is it like, are you tainted or something like that?
Like, well, what's Kanye says in one of his songs, right?
Rate go down.
She's never fucked a black guy.
What was it?
I think it was their start.
Really?
Yeah, supposedly.
I don't fuck it.
It's a Kanye verse.
Don't fucking cancel me.
I don't fuck it.
No, but what's interesting about porn is that it's super primal, right?
It's super primal.
You're tapping into people's primal instincts.
So I'm curious, like, if that's a primal reaction, right?
If people who jerk off to porn are going, I don't want her fucked by a black guy because once she's fucked by a black guy, I will value her less.
It will potentially.
I don't think that's a good thing.
That's a fucking thing.
Like a racist thing.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, everything that exists in that industry is a result of dollars.
You know what I'm saying?
And so if they look at the demo and say, yo, our demo is predominantly Middle America, 86% Caucasian male, and this will upset 40% of those people to see this little white 18-year-old girl have sex.
Maybe that is the case.
But just to bookend that, but she got pushed into doing a lot of things.
Live pushing about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
So she's pushed into doing these like uncomfortable things.
Right?
Like she shows up, she thinks she's going to shoot one thing.
And then they like...
Pull the blank.
Yeah, the shit out.
And does she have the ability to say no or really lean in?
So, so absolutely.
So like they, they can't force it when it comes to sex work.
It's very, they're very careful.
But I'm sure, I'm not sure, I'm positive that in cases with up-and-coming girls, the agent will be like, hey, like this is completely your, no, no, completely your choice.
Like, you don't have to do this scene today.
Right.
But I'm, you know, I think the client was just saying that if you don't do this scene today, like, you lose the next four as well.
And then you're, and now you're like, yo, I have to pay rent tomorrow.
I have to buy food tomorrow.
And sometimes I have to pay for my kids' food tomorrow.
Like, am I justifying any of this?
Am I telling people that they should let people off the hook for their decision?
Absolutely not.
But what I'm saying is there's a big level of, like, if you asked her, and I, I hate, I hate to talk about this too much with her not being here, but like she looks at a lot of it as almost like forced sexual behavior.
Like, honestly, like, she, she's like, yo, like, I didn't do that with my intention.
Like, I didn't do that because I wanted to.
I do that because my agent said, yo, if you don't do this scene, like, you're not going to work tomorrow.
And so it's just a really, it's really nasty.
And like I said, like, I'm not making an excuse for it or saying like that.
Oh, no, no, but I think we can all have empathy for it.
I would hope that people would, but it's just, it's a lot to ask.
And it's, and it shrinks.
It's a lot to ask from people who also whack off to it.
Whack off to it.
Yeah, it's like Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
It's like Akash has this brilliant take on Michael Jackson.
He's like, the reason we believe that he's innocent is because we don't want to stop listening to the music.
And we know we would still listen to it even if we found out that he was guilty.
Or if he was still making it.
You know, the dudes that are posting those pictures on my tweets, right?
They're her biggest fans.
Of course.
Of course.
They hate you.
They hate me.
I guess what I'm saying is like, we don't want to believe the sinister side of the adult film industry if you're whacking off to it all the time.
It's like the dairy industry.
You don't want to know where that shit comes from.
I just want milk.
That is a great analogy.
Just give me the milk.
I just want to have a cheeseburger.
I just want to have a piece of chicken.
Like, I don't want to see the fucking thing.
Birds getting their heads cut off in rapid succession.
Don't show me the videos, PETA.
Like, you're ruining it for me.
I like eating these things.
I don't want to see how the sausage is made.
That's the song.
That's another.
That's a great analogy.
Do you ever want to just beat the ever-loving shit out of her agent?
Yeah.
I mean, like, have you ever like seen them at a party?
Nah, because she's been removed for so long.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's just weird because it's the only industry, I think, in the world where until the advent of OnlyFans, I think we should get into that for a second, where a woman is the product.
The man not only benefits on the user end by jerking off, but also the profit end.
And so in the middle, you have this girl who's paid this minuscule price for someone above her to make billions and someone below her to get this to get the rocks off.
It's a really fucked up thing.
And then all of a sudden, OnlyFans comes along and shakes everything up.
That's because they got too greedy with those girls.
I believe so.
OnlyFans would never come out if the girls were getting paid a lot of money.
Yeah, I believe so.
Because there would be no reason for them to leave.
They'd be like, no, no, I'm going to get making a million dollars.
I got a million deal.
Exactly.
Imagine if, imagine.
They were squeezing them too.
There's a, there's a, I forget the fucking term.
Mark, you might know the term for this, but it's an ultimatum between human beings where you can only fuck me a certain amount.
So for example, fuck, what is it?
It's like, if I know that we have $100, right?
And we have to come to a consensus on how to share the $100.
I can either accept a certain amount that you give me and we both get the $100.
We both share it.
For example, I can go.
We both get some money.
We both get some money or neither of us get any, right?
Apparently, we'll accept that ultimatum up to 70, 30.
So if I have 100, I go, bro, I'll give you 30.
I keep the 70.
And you'll go, well, I didn't do anything.
I didn't work for this.
I'll keep 30.
He'll keep 70.
He's not fucking me over too bad.
Apparently, when it goes under that, human beings start to go, I would rather you have nothing than fuck me over that brutally.
And I feel like that's what happened in the porn industry.
They fucked him over that much.
Cops cops should start using that because you know when you get pulled over and you got a bunch of crack in the car and everybody just points at the other person.
No, no, no, oh, you've never been down that road before you're fucking a porn scar dude most unrelatable repo.
This is this holds a decade sentence.
You got a lot of rock in the car, Kate.
Yeah, yeah.
And you're like, yo, bro, you want to do 70?
I'll do 30.
Like, are you cool with that?
Like, it is my shit, but like, I don't want all the time.
And if you don't accept it, I'm just going to blame it on you, man.
And, you know, I don't have a record.
And you're like, damn, bro.
70, 30, huh?
So if they had given just a little bit of equity, they squeezed it to the touch.
Like, if they were like, yo, Riley Reed, we'll give you a percentage of Vixen or Brazzers, whatever.
Pay them a quarter.
If they were, they would never.
Listen, I'm not saying I don't know how hard work porn is, but I'm assuming that like these aren't the hardest working human beings on the planet.
I'm assuming you're leaning into this because you either have no other options in life or you're like, I don't want to work every single day.
I'd like to make some good money, right?
So we're not talking about people who are willing to work 80 hours a week, right?
Not trying to be insulting, but it is what it is.
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
Yeah.
So kind of like being a YouTuber.
Literally, yes.
Just pimping yourself out.
There you go.
There's enjoyment.
But I would say the editing time is fucking painful.
So bad.
In being a YouTuber.
You know who edits my videos?
The fucking me.
Really?
Yeah.
I thought it was that Arab you got sitting in the back of my room right now.
He's supposed to be sucking.
What is he?
What is this guy?
Brazilian?
What?
Half-white, half-black.
Half-white, half-Mexican?
It's a nice mix.
You're fully met.
These guys are Mexicans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't want to say it.
I didn't want to say it, but interesting.
I didn't know.
He didn't look Mexican at all, dude.
I see.
I thought he was that guy's all.
He gave my speech.
He can speak Spanish.
You can speak Spanish.
If you say a la Akbar, I swear to God, I'll kick you out of this fucking room right now.
No, ahuevo Carnal.
Yes, sir.
That's all I'm trying to say: they squeeze him out too much and they thought they could.
They shouldn't have.
And now they're getting, and they're going to, and they're going to take bigger.
They're going to regret it.
Imagine like being, who was it?
The infamous oh, Mia Khalifa, right?
Mia Khalifa.
Imagine being her, and she's like, the most I ever got was.
Can I tell you something about her?
I could tell it was coming.
No, this is what bothers me about.
Oh, yeah.
Let me fucking say this last thing because we'll never get back to it.
12 G's was the most she ever made off a video, right?
And she was like, 12 G's, 12 G's.
And the guys that made it made millions.
Imagine me and her, and the next month you switched to OnlyFans for 400 G's.
Yeah, yeah, it's good money.
It's 400 G's first month.
Yeah, it's good money.
There's no doubt.
It's good money.
I will say this.
Go ahead.
This is the thing that annoyed me about her is that she did this porn.
Yep.
Right?
Yep.
I think with the Burka on.
Yes, she did.
Right?
Big time.
She did his porn with the Burka.
Burka.
Burka.
He's like, is that in their Chihuahua?
He's like, is that?
How far is that from Laredo, man?
So she did the porn with the Burka home, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And she gets all these death threats and all this other kind of stuff.
Yeah, big time.
I find out she's not Muslim.
Stop.
She's Christian.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That changes that bothers me.
That's bad.
If you were Muslim, you grew up like this.
This is your culture, right?
You're choosing to do this in a pornographic way, but that is yours, right?
Right.
She's appropriating it like somebody else.
She's no different than the fucking, what are those stupid French magazine that always gets shot up and anybody else is with Charlie Hebdo?
It's just like, she's insulting the culture as well.
She don't have to take that.
Right, right.
But she did it.
She specifically took it because she knew how shocking it would be and insulting it would be.
I mean, what do they call it?
It's like cultural appropriation.
Not even appropriation because she's not appropriating that type of porn because that shit don't really exist as far as I'm there.
There were two in the scene in the first scene.
It was her and I think the mom too or some shit.
They both had Burke.
All I'm saying is like, you know, the smoke that you're asking for with that, like, very well.
And not even defying your God.
Like, if you have to deal with that with your God, but if it's someone else's god, it's like, that's foul, yo.
If she dressed up like Mary or she dressed up like Jesus.
Or had like some Baptist singers in the background or something like that.
You know, like some shit like that.
How Jesus was really born?
Oh, my God.
I'm just saying for me, when I found that shit out, I was like, ah, I can't feel bad for that as much.
Yeah, hers has been a much more publicized story of her trying to rebrand and like come back from that.
Self-publicized.
Yeah, self-publicized, but I think a lot of people have talked about it.
You know, as an Arab giving pushback.
As a Moroccan, I'll tell you, the Burka's not a religious item.
It's a cultural item.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, we fucked up is what you're saying, bad.
We suck.
Did we fuck up?
The Nikkop and the...
Bro, bro, bro.
Can't say that word, bro.
How's the fucking boom, dude?
Damn, y'all got some races on this show.
Colton Werfgreen.
What is his name?
Morgan Whalen.
Morgan Whalen.
I'll never listen.
Jay Leon.
All these people are fucking have a normal name.
Malak.
Malik.
Buddy, I think you have more syllables than I do in my last name.
You're just a Schultz.
Schultz.
Not even no T. Nothing, dude.
Remember that time I told you we met in 2013?
Bro, we met at Eddie Wong's Bauhaus.
Bauhaus.
Quite the place.
Walk in, dude.
3-4 a.m.
They got dipset playing still, even to this day.
Even to this day.
Dipset, bro.
Diplomatic community album playing.
It just makes you feel good on the end.
Sutter, bro.
Man, and I looked like a fucking moron in that book.
I got a photo of me and Andrew, bro.
Before we ever knew each other.
How'd you get the photo?
Wait, why don't we just show the photo right now?
Are we showing off it?
Yeah, let's show you.
No, but I mean, like, on the show.
Are we showing off the show?
Yeah.
Al, can you insert those?
I saw him and I was like, dude, that's that fucking really funny dude.
And I saw him and I was eating my bow and I was like, I'm going to go up and do the one thing I shouldn't do and ask for a picture.
We took a picture and now it's just...
I can't believe it.
Well, it's a good thing Logan took you in, not me.
Okay?
Because it really worked out for you.
I mean, did it, though?
Maybe it didn't.
No, it's me.
I wouldn't be able to introduce you to any porn stars.
I've got a nice Moroccan Jew, if that's what you're in.
You just can't stop dropping racist stars.
What was that about, bro?
You can't say the N-word, though, dude.
You can't.
He's African.
Can he say it?
He is an African man.
You're African.
What about Egyptians?
Nah.
Egyptians can't say it?
They're more African than you'll ever be.
Yeah, but they claim Arab.
They claim Arab.
Interesting.
Interesting.
What about whatever that is back there?
He's like, why me again, man?
In the Bronx, bro.
Like, I'm legal.
I almost feel like he could get away with it.
Sometimes.
He's like, not today.
Not with that dude sitting here.
Are you crazy, man?
That's a one-way ticket to the mark, man.
I'm doing it.
I'm getting angry.
That didn't put us in cages.
They didn't put them in.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, bro.
What else?
But you want to do more porn stuff or what?
What else?
To me, it's not about the porn.
It's more just about like you're involved in a really interesting social experience.
I'm just in a weird place, bro.
How is that weird?
What I think is like you have perspective on it.
Because think about what, so where I came from, the YouTube side, the porn side.
Also, like, now I go up to people and they're like, yo, I read your book.
Like, yo, I wrote a button.
I'm not saying like I had somebody come in and write my book.
I wrote a book, bro.
Personally, wrote a book that, by the way, made fucking Michelle Obama look bad, made fuck everybody because they were all down the charts.
Bodying Michelle Obama, Obama, Stephen King, John Grisham.
I was at number two globally on Amazon, bro.
Number one on Audible, bro.
Michelle couldn't hang with you, bro.
Her book about being a housewife.
Oh, she, she, this, when I say this, I mean, I mean for about 12 hours, man.
It was a quick run.
Then she sold about a million copies.
Yeah, she like, but yo, but that's been wild, bro.
And it's, it's like one of the highest rated books on Amazon and on Audible.
It's just, it's just, it came out really good.
It came out really good.
And also the story's wild.
The story's wild.
Vital.
Vital.
Yeah.
Go check out the fifth vital, man.
No, you have obviously like a wild story.
Super unique.
And I don't know.
It seems like your rebound has been pretty great.
I'm glad you didn't.
I'm glad you didn't OD, man.
No, I know.
I know.
I mean, I think about it all the time, bro.
Every day that I wake up.
That's why we talked about the beginning of the episode.
It's like, what do you say to the kid?
How do you upset him?
How do you piss him up?
Like, what do you say that makes him be like, you know, that really offends me?
What would?
Generally speaking, the people that take shots at you aren't the kind of people you want to impress anyways.
Like, yo, have you ever seen a dude that's just out here getting it, making money, having a great family, living life, doing all that good shit, being negative and pulling down on someone else who's already going, obviously going through it?
They're out there saying, yo, here's how you do better.
Here's how you make up for this.
Here's how you turn this into a moment that creates positive in the world.
Here's how you make this moment funny or entertaining or whatever.
Then you got this huge community of internet fucking warriors, broke motherfuckers at home jerking off, sending dick pics to me.
You know what I'm saying?
Or sending pictures of my girl getting gay.
Sleep Better Tonight00:05:22
Like, bro, as soon as I realized, yo, the quality quotient, the median quality of these people's lives was so low.
Now when people send me that shit, I reach out.
I'm like, yo, how can I help you, bro?
How could I help you?
Like, what do you want from me?
What can I give you to make your life a better place?
And usually as soon as I respond, I'm the biggest fan, bro, ever.
Your girl's so hot.
Like, you got such a good thing on it.
I'm like, dude, just say that.
They just want to get your attention.
That's it.
You just want to know they exist, bro.
A lot of people don't feel like they exist.
It's fucked up.
It's because when I was nobody, which was even somewhat still today and 99% of my life until today, I was never hitting people up.
Like, yo, fuck you.
Fuck your money.
Fuck your girlfriend.
I never did it.
Not one time.
Because you were hot.
You were feeling better than all of us.
Yeah, fast.
And there wasn't computers in 1926.
So I couldn't comment on shit.
My says didn't come out till a century later.
Yo, we're old, bro.
We're fossilized.
Bro, thank you so much for coming by, my bro.
You're amazing.
Yo, tell everybody where they can get the book.
Obviously.
The fifth vital on Amazon.
Yeah, the night shift on YouTube.
Check out the night shift on YouTube.
The Twitch stream is the night shift as well.
Yeah, night shift gaming.
Night shift gaming.
And then obviously Impulsive.
They got a great podcast, man.
It's honestly, whenever I'm in LA, I hit y'all up because it's one of the places I like coming by.
I love you, man.
And yeah, I'm just excited to see what else you do, man.
I'm really excited for your journey, bro.
I mean that sincerely.
I think that I think you got a lot of cool shit coming up, man.
You got a lot of cool shit.
I think you're going to be one of the guys that called it early.
I really do.
And I'm not one of those guys to speak on shit like, manifest, bro.
I'm from the fucking East Coast.
I'm like, yo, just keep the crack going.
I'm like that guy.
But yo, we got stuff going on.
It's going to be a fun ride.
I'm excited, bro.
Well, anyway, dude, thank you so much for coming.
Appreciate it.
Thank you, Doug, bro.
Mike Malak, everybody.
Yeah.
Got that shit right.
There you go.
Shout out, Jalian.
Just to Jaleon, bro.
And shout out these guys, man.
What are they?
What is it?
Kevin and Justin, what are your socials going?
Yeah.
Here, turn it off.
Turn it on.
We'll post on the story.
I'll fuck with y'all.
I'll fuck with y'all, man.
Kevin, and what's your name?
Justin.
Kevin and Justin, the most fucking white Mexicans you ever knew.
Dude, there's no way Kevin and Justin are these guys made?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Like you said, the girls that come from like Asia and they name them like Linda.
That's them.
They just picked the whitest name.
They're like, all right, this one's going to be Kevin.
This one's going to be Justin.
That guy's face, there's no way he's a Kevin.
No way, bro.
Raul.
Raul.
Does that sound?
Oh, no.
And Nye.
N-Yaye.
Just that.
N-Yay.
All right.
Love you guys.
What is this?
It's Chonkla and Piñata back there.
We love you.
We appreciate you.
Thank you for coming out.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all are not sleeping as good as you should.
And we're going to make that easily accessible to you right about now.
Okay.
And it's with Helix.
This is the bed that you're going to get ordered right to your house.
It's literally what I'm sleeping on.
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It's Helix.
Helix mattresses.
This simple.
Comes in the box, all wrapped up, beautiful.
You lay it on the bed as it starts to take shape.
And I know what you're saying is, how is this different from all these other mattress companies that do something similar?
I'll tell you how it's different because the mattress that you get is going to be catered to you.
You're not going to have to work with the specifications that they have.
They work with what you want.
You go and take this test.
Akash, obviously, you took the test.
Test?
Yep.
What type of mattress do you end up getting?
Deluxe Lux.
And why is that?
Because I sleep on my stomach a lot.
It's good for me.
So it's good for you because there are different sleeping patterns.
And there should be different mattresses.
They ask how much you move around.
They ask everything you could possibly ask.
You take this little sleep quiz.
It's almost no time.
And you end up getting the mattress that you fucking need.
Okay.
Why would you go choose between two mattresses from a company that don't even care about how you sleep?
I don't give a fuck.
They're just making a mattress.
Oh, my God.
You spend a third of your life sleeping, do you not?
One-third.
One-third.
And then it affects the rest of your day.
Shit.
You know what, Tom Brady's the goat?
Why?
Sleeps.
There we go.
TB12.
Helix.
First thing in TB12 is you order a Helix.
That's how it works.
I don't know if that's true.
Point is, if you need a Helix, which a lot of you guys do, which a lot of you guys should do, if you don't already have one and you're not even considering it, you're wrong.
You definitely need a Helix.
And this is how you're going to get one.
You are going to go to helixsleep.com slash flagrants.
Okay.
And Helix, if you're going to use our promo code flagrant, I just want to let you know, it's helixleep.com slash flagrant.
They're offering up to $200 off all mattresses, okay?
And two free pillows for our listeners.
If you go to helixleep.com slash flagrant.
So go do that right now.
Sleep better.
Have a better day.
You're welcome.
Let's get back to the show.
Is Michael Jordan officially the second best athlete of all time?
That is the discussion.
You think 100%.
Indisputable.
Okay, now why?
Give me why.
Is Jordan the Second Best00:14:58
I mean, look what Tom Brady did.
Can you imagine Michael Jordan going to a second team and winning a championship?
I think he didn't even get to the playoffs when 75% of your conference gets to the playoffs.
But Akash, MJ was 40 years old.
I know, I know.
He can't do anything.
He can't do it anymore at 40.
How could he possibly compete with all these young bucks who are so athletic and brilliant?
The game has completely changed.
How could he compete with them at 40?
Yep.
I mean, how old was Tom?
Oh, Tom, 43?
Oh, he was older.
Much older.
Interesting.
Much old.
Okay.
Okay.
Three years, big difference.
People make a big deal about, I was talking to somebody who's in a group chat, and they also brought up the different team thing.
I don't think people realize how difficult it is to win with another team.
It's incredibly hard.
Also, but why?
Break it down why.
You're going to a different system.
Yes.
He's going to a different conference, so he's playing different teams pretty much all together.
Every team he sees is different.
If you're in the same team, you play almost half your schedule every year against the same division opponents.
Right.
He knows the Buffalo Bills inside and out.
Now he's playing the Saints twice, and he got curb stomped twice.
And then on the playoffs, he was like, no, I got it now.
Curb stomped.
It's good now.
Now he's going to completely new personnel, completely new culture, completely new city.
Everything is different.
Everything is different.
But here's what Tom Brady is.
Tom Brady is, you know, people that say like it's a vibe.
Tom Brady is a culture.
Yes.
Tom Brady comes to your team and now the entire culture is Tom Brady's culture.
He will take your misfits and make them magical.
Yes.
I mean, Antonio Brown hasn't said a peep since he moved into Tom Brady's pool house.
Bro. Leonard Fournette, who's a little talkie-talkie.
He's a little talky-talky.
He didn't work in Jacksonville.
They got rid of him and he was a high draft pick.
And they were like, we can't get it.
And he was nice.
And Coughlin was like, I don't want to deal with this little talkie-talkie.
Tom Coughlin, who's a guy who manages egos very well.
Yes.
Couldn't manage the ego.
Yes.
Both of them, I think there might be one more player on the team.
I'm forgetting right now.
Oh, su.
Oh, and Domican Sue.
I don't know how to fucking pronounce his first name.
No vowel having, motherfucker.
I would never say that's someone who never got made fun of for their first name.
Isn't that crazy?
Or his last name?
Yeah, never.
It's an expression, bro.
That's a reaction.
But most people are like, Dominic, yeah, I'll figure it out.
I'll get it.
What are you?
6'6?
How do I say that?
N at the beginning?
You can chase me.
But point is, he got all these guys who were, I mean, Leonard Fournette's only been in the league for a few years, but had the stigma over them that they were really tough guys to get to buy in.
Yes.
And he has this magical ability to get people to buy in.
Antonio Brown, that touchdown was a great route.
He threw it also.
Also GOAT shit.
That was after he went at Tyron Matthew and went in his face and was like, I'm going after you all fucking game.
I don't know what happened, what got said.
We'll talk about Tyron being a bitch.
Tyron being a little bitch.
He said something I won't repeat.
What's gross about that is he's trying to imply some shit that he said the N-word.
He just called him a bitch.
No, I didn't go N-word with it.
There's no way that he said the N-word.
I thought that's what he was trying to do.
You really think is dropping the N-word.
No chance.
Come on.
I thought that's what he was trying to call on.
After he retires, he's going to say that shit a lot, but I think he wants to come back next time.
Tom Brady got so much respect.
If you're his teammate and he said it to you, he'd be like, you're right.
You think he.
I bet Antonio Brown be like, yo, sir.
Com Brady say the N-word with the A at the end?
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I bet you, Tom Brady.
You can sing along to a rap song with the A at the end and not a single peep from anybody.
A at the end.
Yo, I bet him and Antonio Brown play YG like it's nothing.
Like they both just sing along.
Let's do it.
Yo, yo.
Antonio Brown is with it.
Sing that shit, Tom.
You are.
Here's how, this is how much he got Antonio Brown to buy in.
This was the most look-at-me motherfucker in the league.
Antonio Brown scores a touchdown in the Super Bowl.
Do you know what he does?
What?
Drops to his knees, raises his arms up to God to say thank you.
Yeah.
By God, you mean Tom Brady.
By God, you mean Tom Brady.
Let's be honest.
Here's why I also, I also want him to be the GOAT because he seems like much less of a dickhead than every other GOAT.
He's Mike Pence to me.
Explain.
Personality-wise, he's a politician.
He's a consummate politician.
Like even Mike Pence, who I don't think we heard speak for three years.
Yeah.
Right.
And everybody's like, this guy wants to turn gay straight through conversion therapy and he's a piece of shit and what an asshole.
And the second we saw him in that debate, we're like, this guy's got a president.
Looks like a nice guy.
He wouldn't have heard a fly.
I mean, he's the sweetest human being up there.
Like, literally, he was very hurt a fly.
Just sat in his face.
Refuse.
Refuse.
Not going to do it.
It's the Christianity.
So he seemed like this really sweet guy and like.
Incredibly polished.
Like anytime you tried to pin anything on him, he said the right thing.
And I think that's Tom.
I have no clue who Tom Brady really is.
He could be the sweetest man ever and know exactly what to say in every single moment.
The guys were coming up to him in the locker room.
Do you see that?
And they were like, we got number one for me, but number seven for you, Tom, we got it.
And he was like, we just got one.
That's all that matters right now is we all got one.
He's definitely political and they're some little sociopathy to him, but here's what I point to.
The Belichick versus Brady thing, who did Rob Gronkowski Kowski come out of retirement for?
Oh, of course, Tom Brady.
And I want to go to the Tom Brady thing.
Tom Brady's teammates all fucking love him.
100%.
I heard the first, and again, this could be bullshit narrative, but I still like it.
I heard the first thing Tom Brady did after he signed with the Bucs is he's like, yo, I want every teammate's phone number so I could reach out to them personally.
Yes, yes, yes.
Like that, if you're willing to do all that, all right, fine.
Even if it's a little phony, you're putting in a lot of effort to be phony.
Right.
And nobody's going to see, they're going to buy in.
And that's dope.
That's like, you working real hard to be phony.
Yeah.
So phony that it's kind of genuine.
Well, that's the thing.
I don't know if he's phony or not.
Okay.
Right.
I'm not sure.
I think that we don't know a lot about Tom Brady.
Which I also like.
I think that's cool.
There's some mystery to him.
He's a throwback.
He's Marlon Brando.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He's one of these figures that we get what he decides to give us.
He's got a sense of humor, clearly.
Like on his Instagram, he's aware of the things that he's posting are funny.
He's kind of culturally aware.
Like if you notice, like even the music that he chooses in the videos, it's all hip-hop.
Yeah.
Everything's it, right?
Like he's going for it.
Like this is supposed to be MAGA Tom Brady.
He's not doing any Luke Bryant, whoever these fucking country guys are.
What's your boy who was dropping them bombs?
Oh, my guy.
Morgan Whalen.
Morgan Whalen, my guy.
He's not Morgan Whalem.
You know what I mean?
You're a boy, bro.
He's one of you in the neighborhood.
He might drop a couple of them.
The coolest I would ever feel.
But point being, like, we're on, we know that he's aware of the culture.
We know he's aware of what people are saying about him.
Like, he's on social.
Yeah.
He's responding to themes that happen within social media, right?
He's responding to people responding to his content.
Yes.
Right?
So he knows what's going on.
He's aware of this.
He's commented on little Duval posts.
Remember, if you're explaining, you're losing?
Yeah.
Duvall had some meme about a guy getting yelled at by his girl.
And Tom was like, if you're explaining, you're losing.
Boom.
G shit, dog.
If you ask him, G shit.
So I don't imagine Tom Brady in his house scrolling Instagram and like seeing what people are saying about him.
I don't imagine him even needing that at all.
But clearly he's aware of it.
And clearly he knows how to play that part of the game.
I think there's a part of Tom Brady that maybe we might get to witness on like a long-form Howard Stern interview.
You know how like Howard got to expose certain people that you really never knew that side of them.
Like maybe we'll see that one day.
But I think there's a part of Tom that we do not know about because like we don't even really know his strategy for greatness.
No.
Like I've been thinking about this a lot.
There are certain greats that share their greatness, how they got to the mountaintop.
Right.
The only thing we know about Tom is TB12.
Is the stuff he sells you?
Isn't that interesting?
Like avocado ice cream is the reason why you're the greatest athlete of all time.
No nightshades.
That's it?
Apparently his diet is he's like public about it, but still you don't know how locked in he is.
You don't know.
You don't hear all the shit.
Also, what a fucking idiot Bill Belichick is for kicking out the TB12.
My God.
Like, what a fucking buffoon.
We're going to get to Belichick in a little bit.
But literally, he's just, hey, I just want to keep working out the way I've worked out that won me six championships.
Is that cool?
No, kick him off.
Get the guy, whatever, Alex Garcia.
Whatever his fucking name, Latin name.
Kick his ass out.
He's not allowed access to the facility.
I mean, like, what a mind-boggling idiot Bill Belichick is for the decision-making that he had around Tom Brady.
Whatever he needs to be victorious, you feed the man.
You rock with it.
Okay.
But back to like sharing greatness.
Like, Jordan put out a whole documentary kind of sharing his greatness.
Yeah, but also very much controlling the narrative of what went out.
He's controlling the narrative of like how they got to the mountaintop as a team.
Yeah.
But it was not lost on any of us watching what he had to do and his commitment to the game and what he was willing to give.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
His whole thing was, I'm willing to give everything.
Yeah.
And my motor lasts longer than all your motors.
And I'm willing to work harder.
Yeah.
And I'm more maniacal.
And I can stay up to two in the morning and be up at six in the morning.
I'll outwork everybody.
Yeah.
Right.
And I think Tom Brady's a hard work guy.
I don't want to.
Let me go.
This is another Tom Brady versus MJ thing, and this is why Tom Brady is better.
Jordan can stay up all night.
Tom Brady won't stay up all night.
You see what I'm saying?
Jordan couldn't play when he came back at 40 because he had been drinking for two years and partying.
Jordan was a party guy.
Tom Brady, I'm going to get 10 hours of sleep.
Every single piece of my life is dedicated to this greatness.
Jordan was like that, but he still partied.
Tom is like, even that, I don't need it.
I am not willing to say that Tom Brady is better than Michael Jordan.
I'm sorry.
Just yet.
I know you're willing, and you are probably being way more objective than I am.
Because you're holding on to Jordan.
I'm holding on to Jordan.
And I think that there is something just about the word athlete that, like, I just look at Tom Brady and he's like, I will say this.
I think that Tom Brady is a much better leader than Michael Jordan.
That's part of why I'm biased, I want that guy to be the leader.
That's just like, not everybody hates you.
But the reason why I'm saying that is because Tom Brady has to manage more characters.
Yeah.
When you're on a football team, you got 50-plus guys that you have to get on board and you have to buy in.
And each one of those people has to buy into something that might not directly affect you.
Yeah.
Right?
You have to get those linemen to fight every single play.
Right.
You got to get, he's got to be on the defense as well.
Yeah.
He's got to get every one of those corners to fight every single play.
Every one of those safety to fight every single play.
He's got to get his wide receivers to run their asses off for a run play.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
He's got to do everything that he possibly can to get these and motivate all these people.
Michael Jordan has to motivate four other people that are on the floor with him at that time.
Yeah.
He don't even care what the bench guy's doing.
He's not in the game.
Yeah.
Because he's like, I'm about to go make this up when I get back in there.
You have much more personal control on the sport.
So while we'll never know if Tom Brady could impact the game in the same way that Michael Jordan could impact the game, because they don't, the sports don't compare in that way, we do know that he was able to motivate more people to greatness than Jordan was.
Yes.
And that's something you brought up in the last episode.
And that's where I say Tom Brady is a culture.
And what you just touched on, everybody saw what Tom Brady was, saw how he worked, and everybody elevated their game.
People are saying, like, haters are like, man, any quarterback could have won the game.
His stat line wasn't that great.
Stat line was good.
Stat line was great.
429, 200 yards, what, three TDs?
200 yards is a little low.
It's the least he's ever thrown for.
Second least he's thrown four and a win.
It's a blowout.
Yeah.
Also, you're just running the ball.
He knows how to win.
That's it.
There was a play against the Packers when he kicked the field goal to go up eight.
Yeah.
He just saw the defense, and instead of taking a hit, as soon as the ball was snapped, he saw a guy unblocked and he just threw the ball on the ground.
Didn't try to gain a yard, didn't try to make a play happen.
And Troy Aikman was like, a lot of people thought that was like, he just mailed on the play.
Troy Eggman was like, no, Tom Brady's so aware.
He knows we need these three points.
I cannot take a sack.
Just throw the ball away.
Who gives a fuck?
Just do it.
And that's where Tom Brady's hyper-aware.
And I think the stat line played into like the hyper-situational awareness.
This is how we win.
But defense played their ass off.
A lot of it was Chiefs two tackles are injured and no quarterback can overcome that I'm realizing.
But everybody elevates their game because you see what Tom Brady is doing.
You know how great he is.
I can't let this guy down.
I got to work like him.
I got to lock in like him.
He straight kicked his family out of his house two weeks before the Super Bowl.
He was by himself.
Tom Brady.
Tom Brady.
He was like slumber party.
Every single Gronk, come on over.
Watching doing TikToks.
Watching film eating avocado ice cream.
Love it.
He is a culture.
You bring Tom Brady to your team, everything changes.
Everybody elevates their game.
And that's Jordan would do that, but also shit on you and yell at you and break you.
Tom Brady's like, no, I just lead by example.
just follow what I do, we're good.
That's it.
The Tom Brady way.
Fuck the Patriot way.
It's the Tom Brady way.
I'll be what I be.
You'll follow.
I think a lot of Patriot fans are going to be incredibly aware at how lied to they were about this thing called the Patriot way.
Yeah.
And that there was never a Patriot way.
Yeah.
There was only a Tom Brady way.
Yeah.
And Bill Belichick was a babysitter.
This was not a real genius head coach.
And I would go so far to say, I bet you Tom Brady was involved in the defensive scheme.
And I'm not even joking when I say I'm 100%.
I guarantee, I guarantee he was responsible for 80% of the coaching decisions on that team.
100% of offense.
And I bet a significant portion of the defense.
And people always go, wow, oh my God, what an amazing defense.
The Patriots always have this amazing defense.
Of course, iron sharpens iron.
When you are in practice every single day against the greatest quarterback in the history of the game, and then you have to play against fucking Trent Bilfer, I think you're going to do okay.
That's a great point.
I'm just saying.
That's a great point.
Imagine this.
Every single day, right?
You practice against the best.
Anybody else you play against is easy.
It's easy.
That's a great point.
That's a great point.
So in my mind, okay, what's a Belichick is doing all these brilliant plays?
Tom Brady's Coaching Power00:15:20
No, not at all.
You just get to compete against the best.
You're competing against the best.
Everything seems easy after that.
Simple as that.
Everything is easy after you're competing against the best.
And this Belichick guy gets to hand over the keys to Brady offensively, and then nothing goes wrong.
Yo, give me whatever weapons you give me.
You also are allowed to get all your best draft picks, put them on the defense.
I'll carry.
You just give me a good line.
I'll carry everything else.
I don't need receivers.
I don't think people realize what, I don't think people truly realize what happened here.
The guy didn't have receivers.
And people go, oh, he had Gronk.
Yeah, he had Gronk.
Yes.
They redefined the position.
And I'm not to say that whatever his fucking name, Tony Gonzalez or whatever it is, didn't also redefine the position.
And Jimmy Graham, yes, there are all other people here as well.
But Tom makes the best of what he has.
Yes.
I don't know if Gronk is the same player with him.
The first three Super Bowls, his best receivers like Troy Brown and Deion Branch and like nobodies.
Three Super Bowls like that.
And what's also a testament to Tom Brady, he didn't win a Super Bowl from like 28 till 36 or something.
Yeah.
And then he won four after he turned 36.
Four out of his last seven years.
It's fucking incredible.
It's an interesting thing because I wonder if Jordan dies regretting taking two years off.
Because if Jordan stayed in the league, he could have easily went eight for eight.
I don't know if he would have stayed locked in.
No, no.
I think he got burned out.
That's where I disagree with you.
I think Jordan has an unbelievable ability to lock in.
That's what Tiger doesn't have.
Like, Tiger to me crumbled under the pressure of the weakest sport that exists.
Right?
Like, everybody's like, oh, Tiger's the GOAT.
Tiger's the goat.
Tiger's the GOAT.
He couldn't take the pressure of golf.
99% of human beings don't even know the fucking rules to golf.
You couldn't handle a bunch of fucking crab pants-wearing fucking white people in a country club going, I don't know if Tiger's going to handle it today.
You have the entire world scrutinizing you.
The average high school kid that's on social media got no fucking clue what's going on in golf.
They're just like, oh, Tiger looks really cool.
And he goes like this after he gets a, he nails a putt.
Literally, no criticism whatsoever.
I didn't give a fuck.
I don't even know when they play golf.
Here's the thing.
I don't even know what days of the week.
In defense of Tiger, who does Tiger want to impress?
A bunch of old crab pant-wearing white people.
So his target demo, his dream fans were all watching golf.
All the people whose approval he's dying for.
Jordan has to deal with the world.
Yes.
Tom Brady has to deal with the world.
It's very different.
It's when you have a nuanced specific sport like golf that no one really gives a fuck about.
We just liked Tiger because he was with Nike, honestly.
If Tiger signed with Puma, no one would give a flying fuck about Tiger Woods.
They did a great campaign for him.
Don't get me wrong.
Usain Bolt is with Puma.
No one cares about Usain Bolt.
If Usain Bolt was a Nike athlete, I think he's bigger than all these motherfuckers.
Simple as that.
Yes, of course.
Look what Nike did with runners, dude.
I don't know.
Explain.
Marion Jones, remember her?
Oh, yeah.
Now, granted, she was dominant as fuck.
It was American.
Well, Tiger's American.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm saying Usain Bolt, but yeah.
I think that they could blow Usain Bolt.
I guess that's right.
He'd definitely be bigger.
I mean, Roger Federer, I never heard him talk once in my entire life.
Yeah.
And I think the guy was Nike athlete for a while, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And listen, we can have an individual sport discussion in a little bit.
All I'm trying to say is, like, we keep talking about like, oh, Tiger's mental toughness, and he was able to like meditate and get into the state.
And he was built for this.
It was like, no, he got crushed by white pussy.
That's what it was?
That's true.
At the weakest sport, I think golf is the weakest sport.
You can't handle the criticism of golf.
Literally, everybody that plays golf goes, man, this shit is tough.
Yeah.
Like, they forgive everything you do.
You miss a putt, they're like, putting's hard.
You miss a drive.
They're like, driving's really hard.
Everything about the sport is forgiveness.
That's true.
Oh, he's having a rough day.
That's all I have is rough days.
Nobody's good at golf.
So when you're bad at golf, people go, man, he's just like me.
There's zero criticism.
All he had to do was not fuck waitresses, and he couldn't hold it together long enough.
It's true.
Jordan, that motherfucker could lock in.
LeBron can't lock in.
Not like Jordan.
Tom Brady, lock-in.
Yeah.
Floyd, Locken.
Kobe, Lockin.
Kobe, Locken.
Yeah.
There's certain guys that can.
He's like the greatest lock-in guys.
JeBron, I think, can lock in to a large degree, but not like that.
That's a different level of lock-in.
Who, who?
Who, LeBron?
Kobe, Jordan.
I would have said Tiger and Tom Brady.
It's like the elite of elite lock-in.
Tiger.
You can't even put him close.
I honestly put Tiger below LeBron.
You might be right.
I mean, yeah, he did break.
He broke.
He just broke.
Yeah.
And you're right.
It's a fucking Perkis waitress.
Like, you couldn't.
For the fucking bottle bitch at Avenue?
Yeah.
You broke for a bottle bitch?
You're supposed to be the greatest golfer and you broke for a bottle bitch.
Your parents should have let you get some pussy so you weren't so enthralled by a bottle bitch.
It's embarrassing.
That's got to be his biggest embarrassment.
Perkins has got to be the biggest embarrassment.
What's that?
The waitress said Perkins, which is like I hop.
Oh, Perkins?
Perkins or Perkis or whatever it's called?
I don't even know the name.
I don't have, they got him in Florida, actually.
Oh, this is embarrassing.
Yeah, Perkins.
Perkins.
Other than Perkis.
Yeah, this is embarrassing.
That was the Asian in him.
Remember, he was like, well, I'm not exactly back.
We get it.
The black dudes be nailing them white bitches and out there doing the fucking job the next day.
100%.
This guy fucked one white girl.
He's like, oh, I need to marry it.
I need to marry it.
Lock it down.
Point is, Tiger gets knocked down many rungs, in my opinion.
I don't even consider him in a GOAT discussion.
I also think golf is whatever.
Who cares?
Yeah, it's for old people.
Like, you could play until you're old.
Yeah.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like, Phil Mickelson has titties.
That's true.
Phil Nickelson has titties.
That's true.
And a gut.
Yeah.
And he's supposed to be good at this.
Yeah.
He's also lefty.
Yeah.
Lefties aren't ever good.
It can't be an elite sport of lefties.
That is a good question.
Who's the best left-handed athlete ever?
We don't have to know now, but that's something interesting.
No, it's not a sport.
Being left-handed, you can't be an athlete.
No, because there's what, like, 2% of people are left-handed?
So if you're saying it's that, if it's that nuance, like to be great at a sport, what percentage of people are left-handed?
Mad a little.
I guess in baseball, you can be left-handed.
Pay Brut, Wayne Gretzky.
Wayne Gretzky.
10% of people are left-handed.
Nah, but Wayne Gretzky was lefty, but he played righty, didn't he?
Barry Bonds is lefty.
Leo Messi is lefty.
Manny Pacquiao is lefty.
James Harden.
Nah, exactly.
There's a whole handful.
No goats.
No goats are left-handed.
Honestly, Bill Russell, which.
Yeah, Bill Russell, a bad motherfucker, but he played with all white people.
There was no black people in the NBA yet.
So big asterisks.
Yeah.
If you ask me.
Point is back to back to the Tom Brady situation.
This guy had the ability to lock in, and I think Jordan had the ability to lock in.
Super Bowl seven times.
Sorry, Super Bowl 10 times, wins seven.
Yeah.
Jordan six times wins six.
Okay.
LeBron, I think the reason why LeBron has been tweeting so much, right?
It kind of has really exposed him.
He's been tweeting so much because he's trying to attach himself to greatness.
I think LeBron sees Tom Brady leaving him, right?
Separating himself from LeBron.
I think LeBron is kind of grabbing onto the coattail.
So he's like, we ain't ever going to stop playing until we are this age.
We're not going anywhere.
You know, two guys cut from the same cloth or whatever bullshit that he keeps saying.
And I think that's LeBron recognizing that he is not in the same tier as Brady, and he's trying to place himself in the tier.
Right.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I can see that.
Brady's not placing himself in LeBron's tier.
Brady's not saying, yeah, yo, me and LeBron, we the same.
Because Brady knows we're not the same.
Nobody's the same.
You went 10 times.
How many do you have?
Three.
Four?
Four?
Two with the Heat, one with the Cavs, one with the Lakers.
Four.
You went 10 times, you have four.
I went 10 times.
I have seven.
I have more.
And this is, again, this is against Jordan and LeBron.
Tom Brady has more rings himself than every other team in the NFL.
In the NFL.
Every franchise has less rings than this one guy.
It's truly unbelievable.
It's fucking crazy.
It's truly unbelievable.
He might have more Super Bowl appearances than every other team.
Yeah.
I think the Patriots have 10 total.
I do want to say one thing about LeBron real quick is that when we're talking about the ability to dominate and lock down, LeBron is still the 99.9 percentile.
Yeah.
Right now, when we're having the GOAT discussion, we're still talking about the greatest.
We're splitting the thinnest hair possible.
The thinnest.
Yeah.
The thinnest hair possible.
And the ability to lock down consistently over the extent of your career.
And LeBron has had lapses.
Yes.
He's had situations where he couldn't control.
The reason the Mavs have a championship is because he broke.
Because he broke.
It was a lot.
And Jordan also didn't have to deal with social media, but that broke LeBron.
Being a bad guy for a year just broke that motherfucker.
And he got it back, but he was broken that fast.
And it's impressive to get it back.
Yeah.
And he's had an absolutely remarkable career.
Yeah.
There's no question.
But what Jordan was capable of doing, this is the reason why I still have him as my GOAT, even though statistically speaking, everything lends itself to Tom.
Yeah, he's been more dominant in a much more difficult sport to dominate who, Jordan?
Uh, uh, no, Tiger, Tom, Tom, Tom Brady.
It is more difficult to have seven rings in football than it is in basketball.
Yeah, it just is.
Seven rings in football is like Bill Russell's 11 rings to me.
Yeah, and Bill Russell, like you said, played with all white guys.
Tom Brady is white and plays with all black guys.
So he's like, that's the biggest uphill climb.
I mean, you think about like, he's been playing on all madden his whole life.
Yeah.
He can't out-athlete anybody.
Jordan can out-athlete everybody.
I will say this, though.
There's something about Jordan for me that made me feel like whether the game was won or lost was up to him and his commitment.
And that's why he's six for six in the finals.
Yeah.
I think given Jordan, given him the opportunity to be in a finals, he would be 10 for 10.
He only went to six, and that's why he has six rings.
But if, like LeBron and like Tom, he went to 10, he would have 10.
There's something about the want to, though.
Even after his second three-peat, he walked.
Why?
Yeah.
You walked once for two years.
I think after the second three-peat, he was like, yo, I don't know if I can do this again.
I mean, they got pushed to the limit by the Pacers.
They got pushed to the limit.
That was everything.
I think he hit his like, yo, we got this and I'm the greatest, and that's it.
But like, I don't know how much, how many more I have left in me.
I don't know how many more Pip got left in him.
This is getting stressful.
Tom, I got he's not, I don't think he's done yet.
No, he'll be back next year.
And he'll think he can win again next year.
Yes, and he might win again next year.
He said he's going to play till 40.
He always said, I want to play till 45.
He's been saying that for like a decade now.
We've all been like, that's crazy.
You can't do that.
Yeah.
I think he's going to play till 45.
And if he's still remotely productive, we're going to say, let's keep going.
Really?
The want to means a lot.
When you're at that level, you're Tom Brady.
You're already the GOAT.
Now you're just adding.
So that's a thing that we've noticed what happened to certain athletes, especially ones that play these incredibly brutal and violent sports.
Yeah.
It's Tom Brady is sociopathically addicted to the success of football.
Yes.
I don't think it's attention.
I think if there was no social media, he would have the same commitment.
Yes.
I also think it's like lifestyle for him.
He's figured out a lifestyle in which he's happy, a work-life balance.
My assumption is: I dedicate myself to this.
I feel fulfilled.
I love my family.
And this is a great way to live life.
And that's all he needs.
And removing yourself from that is probably terrifying.
Though a guy with that level of commitment to things, I think he'll figure it out.
You saw what happened with Connor McGregor.
Yeah.
And I truly, in my heart, feel like it's over for him.
Yeah.
Because he's outsuceded his desire to fight.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Tom Brady has made probably tens of millions.
We know tens of millions of dollars, maybe hundreds of millions of dollars.
Hundreds of millions of dollars.
And his wife might have more money than him.
She's richer than he is.
So they're stacked forever.
This is not about the money.
Nope.
And there are very few athletes that can compete at that level in a sport that's that dangerous when they are financially good for life.
Yes.
It is very difficult.
I don't think Connor was in there getting kicked in a leg going, I'm worth $100 million.
That hurts too much for $100 million to be in my bank account already.
Right?
Dustin's starving.
Yeah.
Not starving, but starving.
Yeah.
Right?
Connor's like, what the fuck am I doing?
It's like fighting a homeless guy.
Like, even if you could beat him up, you don't fight a homeless guy.
Yeah.
That's what Connor's doing when he fights these guys.
Every time he goes in the ring, they're homeless.
Right.
If he goes in the ring with Floyd, Floyd's not homeless.
Yeah.
Here's the problem.
And it's actually a good transition to Floyd.
Floyd fights like he's fucking homeless.
That motherfucker is sociopathically addicted to greatness and winning.
He calls himself Money Mayweather, all that kind of shit.
Bullshit shenanigans nonsense.
Yeah, he knows how to advertise himself.
That motherfucker wants greatness to win.
You know how Jordan, if you beat him in a game of ping pong, you're going to be there for the next 24 hours until he beats you in a game of ping pong?
That is Floyd with boxing.
That is Tom Brady with football.
That is not Conor McGregor.
With MMA, and that is not LeBron with basketball.
Yeah.
I think if LeBron loses, he's like, hey, I got a nice bottle of wine at home.
I got a great family.
I got a great wife.
Everything's beautiful.
We'll be back here next year.
And I'm going to make Space Jam and everything's going to be cool.
I don't think that he's ravaged.
I think he was coping.
And I'm sure he said devastating.
I got things more important than basketball.
And I think he was just tired of being whatever shit on.
And he's just like, fuck you guys.
But there was some truth to I get to wake up tomorrow and be LeBron James.
He knows that on a certain level.
And that's probably healthier for a human being.
I'm healthier.
What I marvel at with Tom Brady is he also seems happy.
He said something yesterday about how it's not about winning.
It's about the pursuit of perfection.
That's what drives him.
I will never be perfect.
And pursuing perfection is what drives me.
I just want to inch closer and closer and closer.
That's like so zen.
Jordan Peterson lecture.
Yo, right?
But he's not full of shit.
That's the difference.
Just inching closer and closer to it is, that's like amazing.
I just need my family and I want to pursue perfection at my craft and that's it.
And that's all he's driven by.
Jordan, we saw the last dance.
It's a scary addiction to have, man, in a good way.
I think it's a much better addiction than most other athletes.
Yeah.
What I meant by that is a scary addiction to have like for your competitor.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know that every single year you're going up against a guy that is addicted to perfection?
He will do every single thing it takes.
He's coming in better next year.
You just got by this year.
Yeah.
You better get better too.
Patrick Mahomes' Drive to Win00:15:11
There was a fuck.
This was an interesting ticky wiki.
They interviewed this guy, Tom House, or whatever his name is.
He's like the quarterback guru for like all these.
You told us about him.
What he said was interesting was one of the guys asked, like, is it tough to get, like, Tom Brady came to him already really successful.
Drew Brees came to him, they're like rebuilding his shoulders.
So he's kind of broken at that time in his career.
Tom Brady was already one of the GOATs already.
And he was like, is it hard to get those guys to unlearn what they've learned and relearn?
And he said, you know what's interesting?
The greats are more receptive than anyone else to my change.
They're always willing to say, what could I do differently?
What could I do?
They're never thinking what I'm doing is right and you need to stick with that.
And I thought that was a really like dope insight into a Tom Brady mindset, probably even a Michael Jordan mindset.
I mean, you know, I've been knocking him, obviously, because it's fun, but like Tiger, he changed his swing.
He's like, I can improve my swing marginally if I make this massive change.
Yes.
I'm going to unlearn everything I know about my swing that's already done incredibly well for me.
So I can increase it by 5%.
And he lost.
It's terrifying.
And he lost for like two years, and that's what it was.
I know where I'm going.
Crazy.
That I respect the fuck out of him.
Oh, yeah.
He's a fucking machine.
He just, his parents also made him a machine.
So he didn't know how to handle, especially when his dad was gone, his dad fucking fell off the rails.
That fucked him up.
I wonder if his parents regret not letting him get pussy because that ultimately is what broke him.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if, I literally, I wonder if his mom can objectively look at it and go, damn it, if I just let him have some fun and get some pussy, then he wouldn't be so distracted by pussy.
And then his road to greatness would be that much easier.
It's like a comic.
You know, like the comics, you can tell the comics they never got any pussy before they were on stage.
Yeah.
And then now they're on stage, their act is kind of like geared towards getting laid with the show.
Yeah.
And it really inhibits their ability to have like an honest fucking joke.
Yeah, you know how bad I am with women?
I didn't get pussy ever and my jokes are just how I don't like women.
Like I just leaned.
I just leaned all the way.
That's how much of a female repellent I am.
It's almost as if like your girl's writing your act.
How can he not cheat on me this weekend in Rhode Island?
Just say women ain't shit for an hour.
But for real, man, it is truly amazing.
I think with Tiger, a lot of it was like once his dad was gone, and then he, I think, couldn't like under his dad was like a womanizing, drunk, not great guy.
And I think he couldn't really wrap his mind around, hey, that was my dad, and I love him, but he had these demons.
I think after his dad died, from everything I've read, which is one book, but that's when he went way left with getting pussy and fucking everything and became like addictive.
How, this is just back to Tom.
How the fuck does Tom Brady get these people to respect him?
Like, I understand how Patrick Mahomes gets teammates to respect him.
He can do things I've never seen.
Exactly.
You see him do things that you've never seen.
That incompletion is unfucking.
Unbelievable.
Greatest incompletion ever.
Unbelievable.
I mean, it was absolutely genius.
There's a shot of him throwing the ball like right before the release.
Yeah.
And his knee is like maybe two inches.
Unfucking believable.
Off the ground.
Yeah.
The fact that he and the ball went 30 yards.
Oh, yeah.
Unbelievable.
He had a couple of receivers drop passes that if they catch him, this is a very different game.
But then so did Tom, right?
Tom had the offensive lineman in the end zone.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's one.
But there was a couple deep balls.
One that hit Tyreek Hill right in the fucking face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good defense, too.
But like, yeah.
And again, I said this to you before the game.
I was like, I think the Chiefs will win just because I think Patrick Mahomes is so good.
It doesn't matter.
But both starting tackles are out for the Chiefs.
And that there is not a single quarterback.
Matter of fact, the formula for beating any great quarterback, they always say, can we get to him with four?
Which means we don't send any other like safeties or cornerbacks on like blitzes or linebackers.
We have them all play coverage.
And then our four defensive linemen, can they still get pressure?
No quarterback can beat that.
Even the greats, they cannot overcome it.
And I thought Mahomes was so good it didn't matter.
He still couldn't do it.
Yeah.
So back to my point, which was like, he does things that are so miraculous that I could see how he gains the respect of his teammates.
Yes.
He's a freak athlete and you see it.
Yes.
I don't see, and obviously I'm a super casual when it comes to football, but I don't see, and again, maybe football players, they pick up on the nuance of these things in a way that the average casual does not.
But when you look at Tom's game, you're not seeing things that are so miraculous.
Yeah.
Right.
I think a lot of what makes him so successful is his ability to read the defense and make a very conservative throw.
Yeah.
He's so cerebral.
So is the average football player looking at that and going, wow, his decision-making is so brilliant.
That's why I respect him?
Like, how the fuck do all of his teammates love him so much?
How does he get them to get on board and support what he's doing?
I think his method is unbelievable.
I think his method now is he knows what he's accomplished.
So automatically he walks into a room and you know you're looking at the greatest football player ever.
So here's the thing.
James Harden is arguably one of the greatest basketball players ever.
Yeah.
Right.
I would have to put him in the top 50.
That makes sense.
I don't think many people would disagree with that.
Yeah.
Not worth arguing.
I don't think that he has close to that level of respect of his teammates.
Granted, he doesn't have the rings.
I understand that.
That's the thing.
I'm just talking about sheer ability, right?
I don't know what the Tom Brady version of, like, I don't know what the basketball version of Tom Brady is.
I don't know if it exists because you need a certain amount of athleticism in order to be successful on a basketball court.
To a large, the closest is LeBron.
But no, LeBron's athleticism is just through.
But his work ethic is also nuts.
And I remember Kevin Love, Charlie Mann was on that show within the shop, and Kevin Love said LeBron's ability to lock in is unlike anything I've ever seen.
Now, I still don't think it's Jordan Kobe.
I think there's like a little half a percent or whatever, one thousandth of a percent that's different.
But LeBron can also lock in.
He works his ass off.
He spends a million dollars a year on his body.
I still think Tom is different.
And the difference between Tom and James, first of all, skins on the wall.
Tom got seven rings.
Nobody has that.
Six rings, whatever.
You see him, you're like, yo, I know if I follow this guy, we'll win.
So maybe that's it.
Maybe it's just winning separates it.
And people are like, I'm about to achieve my life's dream.
If I'm with this guy, let me get on board.
Second part, though.
Yeah.
If you look at James Harden and you say, oh, this is one of the greatest guys I've ever seen, I should do what he does.
What are you doing?
You're drinking.
You're fucking hookers.
You're giving hundreds of thousands of rap, $10,000 of rappers or whatever.
That's not...
If you're not James Harden, you're not good enough to pull off that life.
Tom lives that life and people see that he's really that fucking dude on the field, off the field.
And because of that, they have this respect for him, even though he himself looks completely unrelatable to a lot of the guys that he's playing with.
Yeah.
Like in no way, even when he's dancing in the locker room, like he looks absolutely ridiculous.
But it seems like these guys fucking love him.
Yeah.
And I'm really, I don't think that we get to tap into his psyche, but I think that this guy is super sophisticated socially.
And I think he really understands how to get people on his side outside of just winning seven rings.
Because don't get me wrong, there's people in that league that think he won those rings because of Belichick.
Yeah.
So he still has to win over these players.
There's skepticism in Tom Brady.
There are people who look at him and be like, his arm isn't what it used to be.
He played kind of shitty last year.
I mean, even during this season, there was a time, I think he even called out November where he was just kind of slump and he was playing shitty.
Yeah.
Right?
Was it November?
November.
They had a bad November.
Bad November, right?
So it's like, but he still, for whatever reason, has the trust of these guys.
You know what I think he knows at 40, 42, 43, whenever he walks in these locker rooms, it's a paternal thing at this point.
I was about to say it.
I'm 20 years older than so many of these guys.
His relationship with them isn't condescending in any way.
No.
It's like almost like leads with love.
It's really good.
And then I'll get in your ass if I need to, but I got enough credibility with the love that you're like, all right, I need to get my ass chewed.
I wasn't doing my job.
He almost seems like proud of them.
Paternal is a great way to look at it.
Like he, he like, he'll hug them, he'll smile, he'll be super like grateful with them, but he's not, in a weird way, he's not like, we're the same.
No.
But he's not insulting in how he's on a different level.
It's really brilliant the way he does it.
And I'd love to sit down with him and just be like, can you break down how you get 53 players from all different walks of life to get on the same fucking page?
You know what?
Basketball's easy.
Five guys?
Yeah.
We got five guys here.
We can get on the same page.
And I'm so happy, Jordan.
I'm so good.
Even if you're not on the same page, I'll win.
Football, we all got to play our best game.
Remember, say what you were saying, the text that he was sending out.
Did you see that?
It was a youth that told me that?
No.
Oh, apparently, like every single week leading up to the Super Bowl, he was sending a text out at 11 p.m. at night.
Goes a we with a capital W, we will win every single night to the whole team.
Every single night.
We with a capital W.
And it's so interesting.
Going into this game, he was, I mean, the Buccaneers were the underdogs.
The underdog.
After the first quarter, you're like, oh, shit, the Chiefs are missing a little moxie over here.
Yeah.
Right?
Mahomes was shook up.
He never been.
I think the pressure was a lot.
I also think a part of it is he knows who he's up against.
Yeah.
This is the guy he's chasing.
Yeah, that's right.
He was playing for legacy, man.
He's just got to lock in.
Tony Romo said this is the most important Super Bowl Patrick Mahomes will ever play in.
Yes, because he stops Brady from winning seven.
Yeah.
And he adds another one.
Yes.
That's so true.
Now he's got to get to seven and he won't.
I don't know that he will.
I can't fathom it.
But who knows?
I mean, yeah, you know.
We would have never thought Tom Brady would get to seven at 43 years old.
So who the fuck knows?
And everybody's going to be able to play much longer as we figure out this anti-aging shit.
Yeah.
Tom Brady is just, you know what?
I was going to say, you know, they have masterclasses like Steph Curry has a masterclass on like how to play basketball or how to shoot or whatever.
Yeah.
Tom Brady's masterclass wouldn't be on how to be quarterback.
It would be how to lead.
I would love to hear him.
I would pay so much for that.
How do you know?
Speaking on that point with Romo, how he's done so well as a sportscaster, do you see Brady retiring, taking a year off, and then a team just gives him the head coaching position off the bat?
I wonder if he'd want to.
I mean, he'd have the ability to, absolutely, because he was doing the heavy lifting with the Patriots for that whole fucking time, which is Belichicks.
But yeah, I don't know if he'd want to.
It's weird.
Do you think he would want to?
I want to say no, but there's clearly something about football that is his passion that is I am always, this always fulfills me.
So it could be like John Elway.
I mean, he got him a Super Bowl ring.
He's not doing great now, but he was team president, got them the ring.
Brady, I could see doing something like that.
I'll say why that he would be one of the most brilliant coaches ever.
Obviously, incredible at leading.
Yeah.
Right.
But also, he doesn't have physical gifts.
Yeah.
Compared to us, he does.
The guy's 6'5 ⁇ .
He has huge hands.
He can throw a football incredibly accurately, right?
But he's not a quick guy.
So I think he'd be a great coach for the same reason like point guards often make great coaches.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's like they weren't given the gifts.
I'm great because I see the game.
I see the game and I have to see the game in order to function at this level.
I must.
If I'm 6'1 and playing the NBA, it's because I figured out some shit.
I hacked this motherfucker.
Chris Paul, yeah, he'd be a pain in the ass.
He can't lead guys in the same way, but that motherfucker knows the game.
If I got to consult somebody, let me talk to him.
But then again, you could argue that Chris might have some physical gifts.
Yeah, but unbelievable court vision, unbelievable speed.
He's got the ball on a string.
Tom doesn't have that.
Yeah, his arm is good.
Not great.
His accuracy, probably great.
I don't know.
I don't hear about it.
You hear about like a Josh Allen.
These guys got rocket arms in their mind.
Patrick Mahomes has every skill you could possibly have.
Tom Brady, I don't ever hear him put in the elite category for any of his individual skills individually.
That's so interesting.
Like there is no excuse.
I mean, you will bring up excuses.
What did you say?
That the Chiefs were missing two tackles.
And for anybody listening right now, those are offensive linemen.
They're super important because they protect the quarterback and give Patrick Mahomes the time he needs to throw those long routes at the Kansas City Chiefs.
Like if you're going to have Tyreek Hill use his speed to your team's advantage, you need to give Patrick Mahomes time for him to go on those long routes, right?
So if you don't have that time, it's going to be difficult, obviously, to target him.
Yeah.
No, this is on him.
But I just want to say this is that like when you actually look at the teams up against each other, they're very, offensively speaking, they're very evenly matched.
I mean, obviously Antonio Brown, I don't think he was taking as many snaps as like a Tyreek.
No, but Mike Evans.
Mike Evans is a beat.
They're just different types of guys, an Evans and a Tyreek.
But still, like, if you look just offensively, it's not like the Buccaneers were like way overmatched.
We thought the Chiefs were going to win.
So you can't really create any excuses for Patrick Mahomes.
And this is, as much as the line is a huge difference, there's one thing Patrick Mahomes could have done, which is just throw to your check downs, which is like the short pass and don't wait for the long route to develop because you don't have time.
And you just eat up little chunks of yardage.
And I think he started feeling pressure when he went down.
He's like, no, we got to make it all up at once.
And that's, he's young.
So it's this is the first time he's had a bad game.
Yeah.
But that was something he fucked up.
That was on him.
So a lot of people look at this and they'll go, this is the biggest loss of Patrick Mahomes' career in terms of his legacy.
Yeah.
Right.
Because you let Tom get to seven and then you don't get that extra one earlier in career.
Fair enough.
I think that this will be the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
It could be.
It could be because this will decide how great he will choose to be.
Was he great enough already?
And was that sufficient?
Or is he willing to kick it up in extra gear?
He saw what true greatness was in the same way that when Canelo fought Mayweather.
And Mayweather really took Canelo to school.
I was at that fight.
It was unbelievable.
I watched it with your dad, actually, but it was like he was just talking.
I wasn't there.
No, you were watching.
We're live.
We just watched it.
Yeah.
But he was like, I've never seen so many sad Mexicans in your entire life.
It's unbelievable.
It literally is unbelievable.
It was half the arena, maybe 75% of the arena.
Yeah.
Silence.
Canela couldn't land a fucking punch.
He was toying with Canela.
Mayweather was again, no boxing expert.
That's the most impressive boxing display I've seen.
Yeah.
Which just from a skill standpoint, I was even like, dude, he doesn't, he's having no problem.
I mean, it was a joke.
Yeah.
Floyd.
And Floyd knew he was going to do that.
And that, you know, that Floyd is the goat to me, the goat of all goats to me.
But that's a different discussion.
You got to really know boxing to understand it and whatever.
It doesn't matter.
But in terms of his dominance in a sport where it has maybe the most fragility of anything, like one punch ruins your record.
Yeah.
50-0, fought till he's 40.
Yeah.
One single punch, you not moving your head a centimeter and it's lights out.
It's not football.
It's not basketball.
And having that type of longevity, boxing in an elite way up to your 40 is harder to me than playing football in an elite way.
At 43.
At 43.
Floyd Mayweather vs Canelo00:03:30
Makes sense.
But close, don't get me wrong.
But to see Canelo make that change and use that to like inspire him and be better and ultimately become the most dominant boxer of his generation.
Now, boxing isn't what it used to be.
It's kind of unfortunate.
Maybe he doesn't have that super stardom here in America, but still what he's done is unbelievable.
I wonder if Patty Mahomes takes that.
I think he will.
I think he will.
He's got the mentality or like he's got the, he's the closest to Tom I've seen mentally, I think.
And he's got crazy physical gifts, but he's just like another guy, born leader, loves the game.
Always do the right thing, always stay positive.
Like there's a lot of similarities mentally between them.
And he's got a great coach that's going to push him along.
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Let's get back to the show.
Oh, actually, as we're back to the show, we got some good fucking news, baby.
We're back on tour.
That's right.
We're coming back on tour.
I don't have a fucking tour name just yet, to be honest.
Getting my feet wet again.
Getting my C legs.
Yep.
Getting rid of my C legs.
Is that what it's called?
No, getting your C-legs at that.
Getting my C-legs, whatever it is.
I'm really excited, man.
So we're going to Salt Lake.
That's sold out.
I think Funnybone is sold out in Columbus, Ohio.
But then we're going to Nashville, Tennessee.
That's March 26th and 27th.
We'll be at Zane's.
We're going to do April 2nd and 3rd.
We'll be in Atlanta, Atlanta Comedy Theater.
Then April 9th and 10th, we'll be at the Raleigh Improv.
Then we're going to be April 23rd and 24th, the improv in West Palm Beach, Florida.
And then May the 7th and 8th will be at Stand-Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.
And then May 14th and 15th, we will be in the Tampa Improv.
Shouts to Tampa.
Congratulations.
Once again, we got to get Tom Brady the GOAT out to those shows.
We appreciate you.
We love you for getting those tickets, man.
And I'm very excited to get back on stage.
It's been like, I don't know, a year or something.
I'm excited.
I feel good.
Yeah.
I got on stage for the first time in a long time.
And it felt great.
It's great.
Shout out to everybody in Rhode Island.
Fucking great audience.
Sold out before I even got there.
So that was fire.
Amazing.
Great weekend.
It was so good to be back.
So good to be back.
Well, you got some more shows, right?
Tour Dates Announced00:09:00
Yeah.
And then I'm going to be March 4th through 6th, Helium in Philly.
And March 16th through 18th, Helium in St. Louis.
So Helium is back to back.
Come through, Akasing.com for tickets.
Gang.
All right, guys.
Let's get back to the show.
God bless the GOAT, Tom Brady.
I still can't give him the GOAT over Jordan.
That's just not where I am.
That's cute.
But I respect that.
I admire your adorable that you hold on to that.
No, no.
You're being more objective than me.
And I don't admit that.
You know what I mean?
He's on an emotional journey.
He's grieving.
I don't own any of Brady's stuff.
Like, I don't have Uggs.
You know what I mean?
I have a jersey.
Tom Brady will never move culture.
So maybe I'm attracted to the investment that I've made in Jordan.
Like, my sneakers are going to take a hit.
A lot of things are taking a hit right now.
Same.
So I can't really have that.
Shattered back towards and appreciating.
Real talk.
You're losing all your investments.
I got Jordan sneakers in stupid colors and I've had to buy specific clothing to go with because it's so odd.
You're on the short squeeze of Jordan.
I really am.
So I don't want to believe it.
Hold the line.
Brady's Wall Street Bets.
Hold the fucking line.
Brady's Wall Street Bets.
He's teasing you, bro.
You're fucked.
He really is.
He is.
He looks like a hedge fund donor, doesn't he?
This handsome fuck.
Anyway, I admire your objectivity.
Thank you, Doug.
Let's run around the room one last time.
Mark, even though you don't care about sports besides soccer, Brady or Jordan?
Probably Brady.
Wow.
Alex?
Jordan.
Not even close?
Not even close.
And what is the rationale?
And I know this is going to sound funny.
It'd be really cool if he was like, oh, he's black.
He's blacker than the other guy.
I'm just one of those people that connect athleticism to the winning.
Athleticism as well.
If that's the case, why not go with Bo Jackson or something?
Well, he didn't have the, he hasn't won as much.
But if you're going off athleticism, no.
No, no, he's the win.
And the win and the rings.
He weights more in favor of athleticism than Brady appears and presents so unathletic that it's hard to make you're the greatest athlete of all time.
Would you call him the greatest winner?
You have to call him a better winner than Jordan.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just statistically proof.
I could do that.
But then we could also go back and say Joe Russell or something.
Yeah, yeah.
But it would be like if Bill Russell had like 18 wins, where there's like no franchise that has as many wins as this player.
That's crazy.
You see what I'm saying?
I hear you.
That's just a tricky one, right?
Are we biased?
Yeah.
Yeah, you got it.
So we're admitting right now we are biased.
I think we're biased too.
We're going to like basketball more as a sport.
We both played it.
We know the difficulty in playing basketball.
Where we don't recognize it.
And you're a huge football fan, but we don't recognize it as much in football because we never play football.
So we're like, nah, we played this sport.
It's hard.
This guy was the best at it.
Therefore, he's the best ever.
And that's probably why I lean towards Mayweather because I have some experience boxing.
Well, you have experience fighting.
Yeah.
And that's why I put Mayweather up there as well.
Yeah.
Also, I'm going to be able to do that.
I think Mayweather over Brady also.
I mean, Mayweather is a good idea.
I think Mayweather is a good one.
Yeah, but none of my favorite athletes growing up were athletic.
Like, they were like soccer players.
Or like, they were not conventionally athletic in the way that basketball players are.
Messi's a freak, but he's also fired.
Leo Messi's like 5'6 or whatever.
Tierry Henry is like a skinny French dude, but I can't do that athletic.
Like, if you're still fast, yeah, you're still fast, yeah, they're fast, like they're agile, but like they're not like they're not LeBron James, you know what I mean?
So, that is the thing that's crazy using, right?
It's like, I don't know.
To me, I know this sounds so weird, but like, I see Mayweather's dominance, and I liken that to LeBron.
I know that sounds odd, we got some blinking lights over here, but I don't know.
I just the way that LeBron can like dominate a game physically, that's what Mayweather could do.
And I know that the way they play the game is different, like Mayweather's so sleek and like can adapt to whatever situation.
LeBron just kind of like enforces his will.
It's just like he's this unbelievable, unstoppable force.
Yeah, and they're completely unalike, but their ability to dominate is similar.
Can I throw in an other dominators just for the sake of your conversation?
The big three of Federer and Adal Djokovic plus Serena Williams Serena thing is so stupid.
Serena, Serena's competition was not nearly what Federer or Nadal.
So put the other three guys and go in with.
I'm just saying, dominating individual sport athletes.
Those guys, if you look at it like that, what's crazy about Federer and Dal and Djokovic?
The three greatest players of all time are all playing right now, all just competing.
And the only reason Federer is losing more now is because he's the oldest.
Yeah, that's it.
Djokovic will pass.
I believe he'll pass them in more Grand Slam wins, but as a group, as a collective, it's like Murray had a piece of that for years.
But 17 years of pure dominance when millions of people around the world continue to play the sport.
How do they keep winning?
I want to know what that sauce is.
Nobody cares about tennis, bro.
I know this is fucked up, but in football, you can get bailed out.
Brady had a bad game, not the Super Bowl, but the game right before.
He had a bad game, and his defense bailed him out.
He had a great first half.
He actually won the game at the end of the first half.
But the second half.
With three seconds left at your own 50 or 60 seconds, you throw a touchdown?
Three picks.
His defense luckily held up, and that's why he also got them with 28.
Basketball.
No, no, no.
But he's making it take over a game.
He's making a really good point, which is like a lot of people make the argument that the Buccaneers' defense should have been the MVP of that game.
And I think you could give Brady the MVP too.
I don't think it's that, I don't think it's that black and white.
I think there's a lot of gray area with that decision, right?
Like the guy did throw three fucking touchdowns.
And they didn't have to do much after that.
But in football, you can get bailed out and protected a lot easier.
Here's what I would say about Brady, though.
Brady makes everyone on the team better in a different way than in basketball.
Basketball, LeBron can get you in the perfect spot for a shot, etc.
Brady is a culture, is what I'm what I keep saying because just having Brady with you, I got something for you.
I got something for you.
I got something for you.
One person can't affect the game in football like one person can affect a game in basketball, right?
But one person can't affect the game negatively as much as one person can affect the game negatively in basketball.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
So you could hide bums in football a little bit easier.
They can get exposed.
Don't get me wrong.
You got a bad corner.
You can expose them, but you still got a safety that can help them out.
Yeah.
In basketball, you can get if you are whack, they're going to eat you alive.
Yeah.
I mean, you see the times like I'm trying to think the Golden State Warriors would expose teams when they went small ball.
Yeah.
And then the centers just couldn't chase them around.
So I'm just wondering who gives who is that an advantage to?
Is that an advantage to Jordan knowing that each one of his teammates carries more weight?
Does that mean that he had to do less?
Yeah.
Or is that the advantage to Brady knowing that not only can he not affect the game that much, but nobody around him can affect the game singularly that much.
Yeah, except him.
He's the closest it comes to singular.
Like, that's why the quarterback is so important.
That's the only position that touches the ball every offensive play.
I don't know.
The end of the discussion is really like, Tom Brady has managed to change our idea of who the greatest ever was.
At least in a discussion.
Alan, you and I might not believe it, but we have to entertain the discussion if somebody comes up.
Whenever people bring up Gretzky, though, it's always, they're always, it's like, oh, fuck, that's really convincing.
Oh, yeah, his numbers are stupid, right?
Apparently, even if you off of like the points in hockey is a goal and an assist.
And if you take away all of Wayne Gretzky's goals and just count his assists, he still has more points than every other player in NHL history.
Like, it's fucking crazy.
But it also makes me think like they didn't have athletes yet.
Maybe.
Do you know, like, some of these sports are still getting athletes?
Yeah.
You know, like Kelly Slater was like this, I don't know, 10-time or something like that, surf champion.
But the greatest athletes don't surf.
Right.
Right?
It's a random thing to become a surfer.
Yeah.
It's like a bunch of like skateboard kids who decide to be in the water more than at the skate park.
So they're not going to be as good.
You're not going to have the super elites.
And Kelly was probably one of those super elites that ended up surfing.
Same thing with pools, right?
Like how many people have access to a fucking swimming pool and they end up being super fast swimmer?
Is like Michael Phelps the best swimmer?
No, it would be LeBron.
Yeah.
Right.
But blacks, you know, no, no.
But LeBron isn't going to be in the swimming pool because of economic reasons.
Same thing with golf.
Yeah, I don't know.
You could apply it to anything, though.
Hussain Bolt.
No, that's why I think Usain Bolt is the greatest athlete.
Or I think he is because everybody's run 100 meters and he is the fastest person to do it.
Winning Requires Specialization00:01:13
Yeah.
He's competing against everyone.
The global scale, like all these African dudes that didn't even have the chance to do anything.
But they could run 100 meters.
They probably ran 100 meters way more than most.
Yeah, maybe.
But then they got to get noticed.
They have to get into a system.
If you run 100 meters fast, you get noticed.
There's an NFL scout watching you get chased by a cheetah.
They're like, I think this guy can return some buns for real.
I'm just saying that seems to me to be like the most basic version of it.
The basics are fighting and running.
Fighting, running.
Or height.
If you're seven feet tall, they're going to find you.
The Greek Olympic sports or whatever.
Yeah.
Like those are like the most basic ones, like wrestling, running, throwing something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyone can do it no matter where you are in the world.
Yeah.
Who knows?
These are fun discussions.
It's always cool when there's a little change in culture.
We love you guys.
We appreciate you guys.
Y'all have a great night, day, wherever you listen to this.
Peace.
Also, we'll see you this Friday on Patreon, patreon.com slash flagrant2.
You know what it is.
We come in for that number five spot again because we got to bump the fuck out.