Kanye West and Donald Trump are dissected as con men who manufacture genius through sheer assertion, mirroring Trump's false billionaire claims while Kanye's bipolar tendencies lead to "lily padding" on Joe Rogan. The hosts contrast this with Chelsea Handler's alienating "woke" shift regarding 50 Cent's race and debate whether fighting aligns with Islam, referencing Khabib Nurmagomedov's undefeated UFC record and the Charlie Hebdo cartoon controversy. Ultimately, the episode critiques celebrity self-promotion and free speech boundaries while celebrating Akash's 100k YouTube milestone. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Alex's Bloody Foot Joke00:15:04
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flavor 2.
We are sorry that we're late.
I don't know if you guys saw on Instagram, but Alex thought his foot was pregnant.
Try to cut that shit off.
So he's been bleeding profusely for the last, I don't know, about 24 to 48 hours.
That is the first of many jokes about Alex's bloody foot that we were going to tell on this podcast today.
It is also Halloween, okay?
And if you are watching on the YouTube, you've already begun to see our costumes.
I'm sure you're commenting about what they could be.
I will give you a few more seconds.
Al, if you go to the super wide, you can see what we all are.
We are all the same person.
Okay.
And again, if you're commenting right now, maybe you'll get it before I mention it.
It's possible that you could get it before I mention it.
We are, I'm not going to say who it is right now, but arguably the greatest civil rights activist of all time.
It's an homage.
It is an homage.
It is homage to arguably the greatest civil rights activists.
It goes back and forth, right?
This is like the LeBron versus Jordan debate.
You know what I mean?
A lot of people are like, yo, Jordan's the greatest ever because they lived through that generation.
They didn't live through the LeBron generation, or rather, the LeBron fans didn't live through the Jordan generation.
So they don't know.
There's a generational gap.
There is a generational gap.
Yes.
Okay.
But what some say might be the LeBron of civil rights.
Do you know what I mean?
The king of kings.
The king of civil rights.
The king of civil rights.
Some people might say.
I mean, you know what I mean?
If it's the Avengers, he's Captain America.
This is without a doubt.
I mean, he maybe would rather be captain of somewhere else because he doesn't seem to like America that much.
That being said, he's the captain.
Yeah.
Okay.
King is the last name.
One of the kings.
And he is one of the kings.
It's Sean King, guys.
If you guys didn't put it together, if you guys are in together, we just want to, you know, we want to big up.
We want to give some respect.
We should have done a drum roll, bro.
We should have done it.
It would have been offbeat, though, if we did, probably.
Why would it be off beat, though?
No reason.
No reason at all.
I mean, we're not making any judgment on his beat.
I don't think he's making ability.
He probably made good beats.
I would like to know who that guy's got rhythm.
Why wouldn't he be able to make some good beats?
Exactly.
He's from Georgia, isn't he?
Probably.
I mean, he's from Texas.
Savannah, maybe.
I don't even think he knows exactly where he's from.
It gets a little confusing.
Now, Taylor, what is your flip on Sean King?
I mean, I just feel like he's one of the greatest.
He's one of the greatest.
One of the greatest kings I know.
I just want to give my props.
That's it.
We called Charlemagne.
We asked.
Especially, you know, he gives he baked up so many black women.
So, you know, me as a black woman, I just feel like exactly.
We called him, we asked Charlemagne if he knew who we were.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
And he looked at Al and he looked at Taylor and he was like, that's what I, that's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
He said, you guys understand how to play this social media game because if the cops ever do try to kill y'all, now Sean will definitely have seen the podcast.
Yeah, I need to support these people first.
Yes.
They shouted me out for Halloween.
I need to shout them out.
100%.
Okay.
Way less likely to get killed now.
Yes.
Do you think?
Yeah.
If Al got pulled over now, he looks so safe, bro.
Yeah, but he also looks a little terrifying.
I'm not going to admit.
I wouldn't know what to think if Al came up to me dressed like that.
I don't know.
I just wouldn't know what to think.
He got cocaine in his beard or something.
There's a lot more than that.
I mean, are you threatened?
Are you safe?
I would be threatened by the power that I feel because I would know who he's trying to be.
Yeah.
And just the aura itself is so powerful.
Yo, that I would be like, yo, this is a man that causes change around the world.
That is a good point.
I would feel inadequate.
That's what I would feel.
I would feel inadequate.
You just feel a power.
I would feel royalty, bro.
I mean, that's why I wore my new Northface boots because I'm as militant as Sean is, bro.
That's when this comes down.
Boots on the ground.
Boots on the ground.
We're not playing around.
You know what I mean?
So we just wanted to give a big shout out to our savior.
You know what I mean?
Our Lord and Savior.
Not white Jesus, but, you know, other colored Jesuses.
He's cool by Jesus.
What about Palestinian Jesus?
I think he'd be all right with black.
I mean, Palestinian Jesus.
Well, guys, this game lost steam quicker than Sean King pulling his skuck out and what he doesn't work at CNN.
What do you mean?
Guys, here we are.
Another episode of Flagrant.
We're sorry that we're late.
Maybe our little Sean King game ran on a little bit long.
I don't see what's the game.
I feel like I look incredibly accurate.
Aren't you too?
I think you've been looking more like Sean King.
Maybe you do.
Maybe you do.
You got the beard.
You got the facial hair.
Al, you know, you guys are doing it.
I just think you guys, you know, you don't get how powerful Sean King is, and that's fine.
You guys who are offended, not you guys specifically.
Anybody's offended, you just don't get it.
You're not woke enough.
You stay woke.
You know what I mean?
We don't sleep.
We don't sleep.
We out here mad woke.
You look like a lifeguard, dude.
Hey, you know, probably knows how to swim?
Sean King.
You know, who guards lives.
That's a good point.
Stay woke, bro.
Stay woke.
Al, how's your foot, man?
How's everything going?
My foot's all right, man.
Yeah?
Beginning the roast.
I'm not.
I was calling him Alex, though.
I know it.
What do you want me to call him?
Are we going to refer to each other as Sean King?
No.
Shonda King?
Sean.
Ooh, Seana King's kind of lit.
Does he have a wife?
Huh?
Does he have a wife?
He does.
Black woman.
Okay.
Keeping it black.
You know what I mean?
But I was going to say, he should be Alex the stallion.
What did I say?
The horse?
Because you're not necessarily the horse.
You're not tall.
So be trying to get this stallion joke out, bro.
He was trying to get this stallion.
I just think it's out good before.
It just bombed.
The first time you said it, that shit really hit.
Like, that galloped.
The first time you said it, that shit was off to the races.
But the fifth time that you just said it right now, that's why you got to save it for the body.
It's so ashy.
I can't help it.
You got to say something.
Your foot's ashy and dirty a little bit.
I mean, you were walking barefoot on the streets in New York.
The guy was bleeding out his face.
You look like Sean King's.
Okay?
Black on black crime, bro.
That's a victim.
You need to look at my foot.
Yo, if you hurt yourself, is that black on black crime?
Yeah, shit.
Wow.
You are a victim of black on black crime.
Damn, bro.
You gotta show more fabs in a barrel.
That's right, dude.
Damn.
Yo, when you beat your dick, is that black on black?
Oh, I get it.
Tell him, man.
Late.
Damn, you slow.
You are white today.
I'm just kidding.
Not white.
Guys are black.
Obviously, he's black.
100% black.
100% black.
Beating your dick.
That's a self-care day, man.
That is self-care.
Okay, so can you just tell us how it happened or how you like to tell the story?
There's no way it happened like this, but just tell us.
Exactly.
There's no way.
Can I tell you what he said to me?
Wait, wait, wait.
I want to hear Sean's friend.
Okay, this is what I said.
Okay, he first sends me a picture and there's a whole pussy on his foot.
Okay.
It's sliced open, lips, everything spread out.
It's nasty.
It's that time of the month for his foot.
Bleeding, right?
All over the place.
I go, oh my God, how did it happen?
Right?
I thought you went to the beach.
What?
I thought you were at the beach.
I don't know what.
I thought you were walking at the beach and there was like some beach glass or some shit that you cut, right?
He says to me, it's October.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
At this point, I don't know.
I'm trying to make sense of it.
Okay.
He goes to me.
He goes, he goes, oh, yeah, I dropped the glass.
I call him.
I go, so you dropped the glass on your foot.
He goes, no, I dropped a glass, and then the glass flew, it shattered, and then flew and cut across my foot deep, severed an artery across my foot.
Does that sound like that really happened?
No.
It does sound a little unbelievable.
When he put it in the group chat, how quickly did you start doubting the death?
I was like, there's no fucking way.
See, that's why the first thing I said, I said I stepped on glass because that was the easiest to comprehend.
Yeah, you started out with a lot.
Yeah.
Just like Megan nostalgia.
Talking to authorities, you did not speak the truth.
I did not break no bones, no fucking ligaments, nothing.
Just foot.
Huh?
Shit, I almost did.
Okay, continue the story, Sean.
So it's exactly how you described it.
Okay.
When the bottle hit the ground, the glass shattered and like went in different directions.
Yeah.
And the piece just went.
That's why it's not on the bottom.
I didn't step on it.
It's on the side of my foot because it hit it towards the side.
I was barefoot.
I was at home about to enjoy a nice glass of wine.
I just opened the bottle and the bottle goes crashing down to the ground.
How will you open it with the water?
Can I just say one thing?
What have I said constantly on this show about hand strength?
Al's got the most.
Al's got the strongest hands.
Crazy.
You've ever seen the strongest hands.
Like, I can't tighten up this little arm for the microphone sometimes.
Al will come from behind the desk and then just ratchet that with his fingers.
His hand strength is absolutely remember when you couldn't pop them out of your glasses?
I couldn't even pop the glasses out of my glasses, to be sean.
I had to get Al to pop one out.
Then I realized I was popping it the wrong way, but it doesn't really matter.
Okay.
Point is.
He went to a handicap to help you.
I did.
I went to a handicap to help me, right?
And you were able to do it.
I don't believe there's a world where you could pick up a bottle of wine and it's too heavy and you just drop and it falls on the ground.
So I do believe you maybe shattered it off the ground yourself.
You threw it off the ground too much.
You're jealous in Puerto Rican, bro.
You're not what happened to you.
You tired of delivery guy in a weird way and then you would have just went off.
What the fuck you see in him?
You would do that outside of your house.
You wouldn't do that at your own house.
But maybe, maybe you don't understand.
You're outside?
No, I was home.
Clearly, I was barefoot.
I don't know.
That's not how white guys handle angle.
We'll punch our own walls.
You know what I mean?
Like, we don't give a shit.
Yeah, we don't slice our own feet open, dude.
That's the most Puerto Rican thing ever.
I need to cut something, bro.
Fuck my jugglers.
Slice it.
Yo, someone in the comments said, that's what you get for wearing thong sandals.
Yo, black men not supposed to wear thong sandals.
That's what they said.
Maybe he was trying to take an Instagram picture on the beach.
Had on his bare feet.
And where was he looking?
Where was he looking?
Oh, shit.
Off into space.
What's going on?
Al puts the cap and handicap.
Yeah, Capricorn.
You should take that cap off for a second.
Ain't it funny that Al puts on this costume.
Suddenly we don't believe the origins of anything for me.
Ain't that something all of a sudden?
It's hold on.
It's something.
Bro, you look better with glasses, don't you?
What?
I don't usually wear glasses.
He's flirting with him.
Look up, dude.
Better is your Halloween costume.
Halloween's supposed to be scary, dude.
How'd you say that, dude?
No, you just feel the power coming from the costume.
You are royal now.
You're a king.
You just like white people more.
I see what you're going on.
What?
This is my only part of the costume.
It's Clark Kent class.
Whoa.
Yo, that's disrespectful.
Nobody said I look like Clark Kent.
I just said it.
What'd you say?
I said, you look like Clark Kent.
No, I got Chris Moreau.
Yo, that's fucked up, man.
I look like Chris Moreau, bro.
Come on.
You just got some vibes.
Come on, bro.
Do I look like Chris Moreau?
Yes.
When Chris was younger, nah, bro.
Y'all sit the same.
Nah.
Yeah, we do sit with the cross.
Nah, but you do glasses.
You do.
Yeah, we do have a little schnauzeline.
Chris got a nice little schnazaline.
It's crazy because Chris will be nasal sometimes.
Like, his voice will be like nasal.
Yeah.
And I'll just be looking at him like, you can't get no air up that motherfucker.
You're saying there's no room.
He's got the deepest voice, bro.
He's got so much airflow.
Where he was.
Very white.
That's what we should call you.
You said very white?
Very why?
Very white.
That's how he says in Spanish.
Betty White.
Betty Y.
Okay, Betty Y. Can you tell us what happened with this story?
What kind of wine?
What kind of wine?
It was a Malbach.
Which is?
That's like a red.
It's a red.
Okay.
So my floors are covered.
Oh, I actually.
Oh, the funny part of the story was.
Isn't it convenient?
He chose blood-colored wine.
I was going to say that.
Ain't that convenient?
I'm surprised he didn't choose white wine, sell out ass.
Sell out ass.
That's why he let it hit the floor.
White wine for these white bitches.
That's why he let it hit the floor and break.
He never would have dropped no white wine.
I would have dropped white white.
You were like, ew, ew, color white.
Ew.
Slam that.
Spiked it like Gronkowski, too.
All right, go, Al.
You getting cycled today.
Yeah.
Foot is on a cycle.
Did you cry?
No, I didn't.
Come on, Taylor.
Well, yo, how you just stopped the spin cycle like that, Taylor?
We were with the propeller, it was moving, and then you were just like, like Alex's foot.
Looking out for his emotions and shit?
Come on, Taylor.
Get out of here.
Did you cry?
Come on, Al.
What was happening?
So I busted my ass right after it happened.
Oh, yeah.
What?
What you mean?
Because, like, so when the glass hit my foot, my just knee-jerk reaction was like to move it quickly out the way.
And because the floor is covered with wine, I slipped and like literally the feet went right up from under me.
No.
Bust my ass.
So yeah.
Fell back on glass.
Luckily, there was nothing underneath me, but like it was all around me and shit like that.
Oh, my God.
But I was covered before.
Son, do you still have those secret cameras in your house?
Son, if you got them security.
I don't know what just happened.
That was the real story about it.
Son, ever since you whitened up, you did some white-ass shit, bro.
Security cameras in the house.
You go respect black people, son.
You're going to respect black people.
Son, you was trying to get out of the way.
You catch pops on yourself?
Son, you never know.
He just injured my foot.
You never know.
He was trying to catch him.
You looking at just security camera footage at the end of the night, like, who's this black man in my home?
Walking around drinking my cranberry juice like that Mexico on skateboard.
No, remember that little motherfucker with the Fleetwood man?
Yeah, I know, but you call them the Mexico on skateboard.
You know what I said?
Yeah, whatever, bro.
It comes out the way it comes out.
You don't say Mexican anymore.
That's racist.
What do you say?
Just the country that they are from.
You just say Mexico.
You say Mexico?
Yeah.
The Mexico.
Yeah, come on.
That's a Mexico on a skateboard.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
That's what a social justice activation class would do, though.
Oh, yeah.
Well, come on, dude.
Do you have the...
Did you pop out the lenses?
No.
Yeah, you did.
Oh, no, I did pop him out.
Crazy motherfucker out here.
Mexico Skateboard Reservation00:14:56
Yeah, what's up, Taylor?
I just have a question.
It don't matter.
No.
I took my scott.
I don't think there was no wine bottle.
I think that.
What do you think happened?
What do you think happened, Taylor?
Since you're saying, I'm going to go on with what you're saying about the feet, the pretty feet thing.
I don't see it, but whatever.
That's disrespect.
You gotta come off his back.
I see the ankle.
I'm looking at his foot.
Yo, but bust out the other foot.
Real talk?
Bust out the foot.
Yo, bro, what's happening?
Taylor, that was dirty as hell.
So honestly, bust out the other foot and Taylor, try not to slide off that seat, bro.
Because let me tell you, these feet are pretty.
Taylor's toes look like fucking corn dogs and she has a nerve.
Said your feet is trash.
Said your feet are trash.
Damn.
Look at that foot.
That's a beautiful wine.
Damn, bro.
Bottom of your foot, whiter than your face right now.
You put some paint on the bottom, son.
That's the Puerto Rican.
So, wait, so after you dropped the glass or the bottle, did you clean it up like your foot right after?
Like, you like wrapped it up and cleaned it off?
What?
What'd you do?
There was no like wine in the video or anything?
Yeah, why was there no wine in the video that you sent?
Because the video that I sent you was at the hospital.
Oh, that's pretty convenient.
So, there's no like no red wine anywhere like on your leg or pants or nothing.
Send they cleaned your foot.
Your pants don't have any red wine on them.
I had boxes up when you slipped.
Yes, I'm home.
I'm in boxers.
What did you cut?
Like, I'm not home in boxes.
I bring you the wild box.
I'm bringing a wine covered box.
He's spinning them.
I know.
He's down, bro.
How do you fit cut too for you?
If you go to the hospital, I pulled out my black gloves, my Johnny Carter.
It's like Mad Deep.
Yeah, I need eight stitches.
Oh, yeah.
This shit's not a game.
Come on, son.
What is that thing called?
Shiv.
Yeah.
You got shivved?
She is shivved.
That's a prison term.
You wouldn't know nothing about that white girl.
All right, yo.
So, in conclusion, Al, you're a liar.
Yes, all right.
You have an injury on your foot that you're not going to share with us.
I'm not going to share with you guys.
We're going to review them security cams.
But we are going to look at your security camera footage.
Okay, you can turn my webcam on.
That's fine.
All right.
Moving along.
Okay.
I got engaged.
Hell yeah.
She said, yeah.
Yeah.
I need to know.
I've been waiting to hear it.
Damn, fake news this whole podcast.
Say what?
I'm telling you that right now.
I got a whole fiancé, bro.
One funny thing that ties both these together.
Okay.
Someone's comment.
Well, you commented on the video we posted on Instagram and said, oh, Al stepped on my girl's rock.
Yeah.
And then someone comments and said, Not the last time a black guy will bleed for a diamond for a white girl.
Like, geez.
That's a good one, right there.
That's pretty decent, though, right?
That is a good-ass joke.
There was another one that I thought was disrespectful, but someone was like, Why was your girl on her knees and hands and knees on the ground and Alex walking around where he would step on a ring or something like that?
Like, alluding to foul shit, motherfucker.
Maybe you try to clean up wine or something that he allegedly spoke.
I see what it is.
Okay, so here's the story of the engagement.
Okay.
Engagement.
We're going to this restaurant.
Okay.
Her favorite restaurant is Cosme.
Okay.
A few days earlier, I go, I'm going to get this reservation for a favorite restaurant.
We always have date night once a week, date night.
Okay.
Super hard to get a reservation.
Very hard.
You could never.
Most people could never.
Okay.
Most known in this room, definitely.
One person, actually.
Let me correct that.
Anyway.
So, yeah, me.
That's all.
Okay.
That's it.
All right.
So we go to this place, Cosme, right?
Mexican restaurant.
Shout out to Mexico and Mexico's.
Yeah, I love memes of Mexico.
Oh, Mexicans get a restaurant suddenly.
They ain't letting anybody in.
That's their move.
Now you see how fun it is to now let people in, right?
Now you see the merits.
You can't just let any old body in.
That's injury.
Why can't I be in here?
Well, it could inconvenience the people that are already in here.
Oh, is that what happened?
Capacity.
Corona, 70%.
Oh, shit.
I'm going to have to talk to Enrique.
He's the guy who owns this.
The guy from Chef's Table.
You know who?
Hosting's a wall.
No big deal at all.
No big deal.
You know the guy from Chef's Table?
I mean, I don't know him.
I did ask him if he would make a video for my girl and got no response.
I learned my level of fame.
I could get a reservation.
And that's all.
So, so.
I think he got a spot by me in Long Island City.
Really?
Yeah, I got a Michelin star.
Yeah.
Most, most definitely.
And it's bomb.
Have you gone?
Yeah.
All right.
You should definitely go.
It's talked to get a reservation.
I got one, March.
How you doing?
It's definitely not that one.
A different guy.
It's a definitely a different guy.
It was the queen.
You could never.
You know what I mean?
You could never.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
You can never.
It's definitely a different guy.
It's probably Peruvian.
He wasn't even Mexican.
Anyway.
Point is, we go to this restaurant at Cosme, right?
Okay.
I'm going to get her the reservation.
We do date night.
She usually gets the reservations.
I don't know anything about food.
My girl does all the shit.
I go out in a limb.
I'm like, this is her favorite restaurant.
I'm going to get it there.
And that's where I'm going to propose.
The next day, she goes, I got us a reservation at Cosme.
I'm like, fuck.
Okay.
So now I got to delete her reservation.
So I tell her day of, yo, 8.30, we're going to Cosme.
She's like, no, it's at 8.
And I'm like, oh, I did one for 8.30.
And she goes, oh, fuck.
Mom, mine is 8.
Do you want me to call them and tell them to cancel?
I can't have her call because the people at the restaurant know I'm proposing.
So if she calls, all of a sudden they're going to be like, oh, you sure you want to cancel this?
This is a big night.
Can't do it.
So I call really quick and I just cancel it.
And then I hit her back like, oh, I did it.
I'm like, hopefully she doesn't fucking know.
I don't do anything.
I don't know how to organize anything.
I do nothing in that regard.
Immediately, she should be suspicious.
She should be very suspicious.
And she knows that there's a ring somewhere around there.
I told you the night I got my ring, I lost my phone, right?
What?
Oh, yeah.
The night I got the ring, I went to my parents' house to show my mom the ring, right?
Because my dad never got her a real ring, so I wanted her to see what it was like.
Right, right, right.
Rub it in her face.
What?
Wait, You say your dad never got your mom a ring?
No.
My dad, this is how wild my mom is.
My mom was wearing the first guy that she was married to's engagement ring while she was married to my dad.
I was like, okay.
And my dad was like, oh, that works, I guess.
He's up, yo.
Yeah, yeah.
That's some real G shit.
That is some real G shit.
That's a win.
No, my dad proposed my mom in a taxi cab on the way to Chinese food.
That's fire.
Now she got a ring.
She got a ring eventually, though.
She got a ring.
No, she didn't.
That's fine.
She didn't.
Does she wear a ring to this day?
To this day, she wears a ring.
She just bought a fake one.
And my dad asked her, do you want a ring?
Or like, do you want something for the house?
And then she's like, I'll just do a garden instead.
So she just chose to do it that way.
But if my dad was like into it, if he would have just got it, he knows that's what she wants.
It doesn't matter.
Anyway, show the ring, come back, lose my fucking phone.
I'm freaking out.
Somehow I find my phone.
Shout out to this girl that found it.
Okay.
We're at this restaurant.
I'm like, how do I make sure that she's not going to do it?
We're not even at the restaurant yet.
We go back to the house.
Okay.
This fucking box from Lorraine Schwartz, my boy Justin Cohen at Lorraine Schwartz.
There's the guy that you go.
If you need a ring, you go to him.
I think it's JCNY on Instagram.
The box is massive.
It fits in one jacket.
Okay.
I'm obviously not going to bring it to the studio.
It's got to be the right weather for the jacket.
Not only got to be the right weather for the jacket.
I'm telling her to pick out the outfit.
Okay.
I got the box inside one of my Jordans in the closet at the top thing.
Okay.
I tell her I get home.
She's in jeans.
I'm like, you're not going to want to get proposed in jeans.
I'm like, baby, I've been so busy late.
Can we just get a little dressed up?
But I'm not trying to throw her off.
She looks at me.
She goes, wait a minute.
As if I'm going to propose.
She goes, ah.
And I go, no, it's not that.
I promise you it's not that.
Trust me.
It's not that.
But let's just get a little dressed up.
I'm so busy.
We have one night to go out.
Let's just get a little fancy.
I say, pick me out an outfit.
You pick yourself outfit.
Okay.
You know that Prada jacket that I was wearing last time trying to settle flex?
Like, I didn't know how expensive that shit was that I wore.
And thank you so much to everybody that noticed it.
I appreciate you.
Fuck all y'all that thought it was just a regular jacket.
That is regular.
No, it's not regular, bro.
That's Prada.
Probably haven't been in the store.
It's really hard to get in.
It's really difficult.
But two people got a reservation the same night.
Can we not, we're not going to acknowledge it?
Okay, the restaurant was fucking empty.
I walked in there.
Francis Ellis was eating with his girlfriend.
I almost walked out.
I almost walked out.
I was like, how is this going to be special?
Look, Francis is right here.
Not proposing.
You know how miserable that night was for him?
All of a sudden, I waited for him to leave.
I couldn't do it in front of him and his girl.
After a beautiful dinner, I just bust out the rock.
Blind everyone in the restaurant.
He's sitting there all naked-handed.
Can't have that happen?
Just eviscerate everyone in the restaurant.
Yeah, you're not trucked.
Exactly.
Infinity Stone.
So I go, I go, I hope she picks this one jacket.
There's one jacket that's going to fit in.
I've tried it in every other jacket.
You know me, I don't have that many things.
I got a jean jacket, and I got the black and yellow north face.
Doesn't fit in either of those.
It fits in the product of pocket.
Thank God she picks a product of pocket.
I'm okay.
Okay, we're good.
We're in there on our way to the restaurant.
Restaurant.
That's huge.
Exactly.
Before we go to the restaurant, by the way, I go downstairs to walk the dog.
On my way back, I'm pretty sure I see the dude from the penthouse.
Oh, wow.
This is an old story.
This is for people who don't know, but she dated someone who's in the building, just happens to be the nicest apartment in the building and everything like that.
So I see, I'm pretty sure I see the guy.
I'm not exactly sure.
Pathetic looking guy.
I saw a guy who was pretty pathetic.
And I was like, that's probably maybe a homeless guy or something.
Yeah, it might have been homeless.
I don't even recognize who it was.
Yeah, I walked right out of the building.
I was like, get the fucking riff rap out.
Throw him a quarter.
There you go, buddy.
Best of luck.
So I go, we're on the way.
We go to the restaurant.
Restaurant knows I'm proposing in between the meal and the dessert.
Okay.
I got a line set up that I said I'm brilliant idiots.
It's right.
That shit was fire.
I have it written in my phone because I know I'm a fuck it up.
I go, what are you doing forever?
In retrospect, that shit really is bad.
But when I said it on Brilliant Idiots, Charlotte really gassed me up.
It's gotta be fire set up in a very good place.
I know, but then he gassed me up.
He's like, yo, that's fire.
Let me write down my phone.
I kept looking back the next few days.
I was like, yeah, I don't know if this is fire.
He wasn't saying it right.
How do I say it?
You supposed to be like, grab my hand, be like, so what are you doing for the rest of your life?
Fire.
You got to goatee in some game over here, girl.
All right.
See you, Taylor.
Yo, ever since you put on that facepan, you that lying.
I know what that is.
What the hell happened?
You know what that is?
What the hell?
Okay.
Damn near colonized my pickablines.
Okay.
So I'm in there.
I go to the bathroom to check my phone.
Just get the line.
I got the line.
What are you doing forever?
I got it.
We're sitting there.
I'm like, okay, the second this food is out the way, we're fucking doing it.
I'm dropping it.
I check it again.
She tells me to get off my phone, giving me an attitude about me being on my phone.
I'm like, oh, you almost didn't get the proposal.
You're going to yell about me because I can't memorize the goddamn line I want to use to spend the rest of my life with you.
She was calling you out after you.
She was like, yo, can you just put your phone down?
We're on date night.
And I was like, I'm going to run my script.
Yeah.
What's wrong with you?
Don't you want a happy ending to this movie?
Fucking reading lines that line.
Exactly.
When you're nervous, bro.
I was.
I sound Mexican as fuck.
When you're nervous, bro.
Well, what's so nervous about it, though?
I don't know.
It's just the moment.
You know, I got fucking Francis right on.
It's too many things happening, right?
Yeah, you said that.
The whiteness blinding off the phone.
What are you doing for never?
That don't sound right.
Francis is whiter than Akash, right?
Didn't you say there were other people in the restaurant you recognized?
Oh, and then that halfway through, other people from our building came in.
All right, fuck them.
You know what I'm saying?
It was a penhouse dude.
No, no, no.
Other people that we like, that we like.
Everything's fine.
Anyway, I can't believe it.
I go like this.
I go, hey, we're just eating, blah, blah, blah.
I'm gearing up for it.
And she goes, yeah, I was doing this like NBA interview.
You know, she's getting her master's and she's doing like trying to do interviews to get a job.
Right.
And she goes, and I call you like my boyfriend.
And it just sounds so juvenile calling you my boyfriend.
And then I just go, I go, I go, yeah, we should change that.
And I just got down on one knee and I busted it open.
And then she just said, she just blacked out.
Okay.
Now I still need to ask.
So I asked her, I wanted to say, what are you doing?
I want to say, will you spend the rest of your life with me?
And I said, will you spend the last of your life with me?
Right.
I just became Chinese.
In the middle, I said, will you spend the last of your life with me?
This guy loves a freaking Asian accent.
I turned into the Vietnamese person.
No, that was just an homage to your dad.
When your parents are Chinese food.
Oh, dude.
That's more romantic.
Beautiful.
Woah.
So she doesn't even answer.
So I have to go like, you have to answer.
She answers, put the ring down.
She did the oh, like that.
She laughed like a that's what they do.
Wait a minute, like Asians laughing or like a white girl, really excited.
Oh, right there.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Taylor goes, Taylor goes, Did she go, oh, and covers her mouth?
Yeah.
And I'm assuming she's laughing like an Asian.
I'm just saying this, everybody listening at home, but you know, yeah, she did that.
Okay.
And this is where shit gets cool.
So I had Mark.
Mark was very helpful.
He went to the crib with his girl, with his wife, and took care of the dogs, took all of her.
Who he don't even like.
Yo, I killed that.
Dude, you did kill it.
You did kill this.
Took care of the dogs, took all of her computers and like work stuff and brought to this hotel because I took her to this hotel.
Okay.
And we got this like beautiful suite in this hotel.
Shout out to my boy Laurent for hooking everything up.
And pound the puss.
Yeah, I was so drunk.
I don't even remember.
Real talk.
I have no fucking recollection.
But we went in there and she was all taken care of.
She didn't have to worry about the dogs.
Everything was good.
And it was beautiful.
And woke up the next day, violently hungover.
I didn't DHM.
I should have DH'd him.
And we leave.
And on our way out, there's a guy who's the what's it called?
Cleaning room guy.
He was going out, right?
And we leave.
And as we leave, the guy goes to me.
He's this Asian dude.
He goes, Happy Thanksgiving.
And I go, That's weird.
I guess it's, I guess, almost Thanksgiving.
I don't know what the hell the deal with that.
So I go, thanks, man.
Happy Thanksgiving.
And my girl just starts dying laughing.
I'm like, why?
Why are you laughing?
What the fuck is going on?
And then she goes, he said housekeeping.
You thought he said happy Thanksgiving.
Bro, I thought he said, I thought he said housekeeping.
But I thought that he said happy Thanksgiving.
How fucked up were you?
I was bad.
It was really bad.
Celebrating, yo.
Was he an Asian guy?
No, he was an Asian dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I cannot.
This whole story is full circle.
Yeah, really?
It was beautiful.
Lester, you arrived.
And you just left?
Imagine.
No, there was an Asian angel that was just watching over to me and make sure everything was.
Oh, Asian Jesus.
That's Sean King's favorite.
Jesus, dude.
Housekeeping vs Thanksgiving00:04:22
So, anyway, that is my engagement story.
And it is all done.
I got a fiancé.
Thank you so much.
You got to be different.
So y'all already had that talk then.
Say again?
About marriage and stuff.
Yeah.
I think that's the thing about being engaged is like, it doesn't change anything for the guy.
Because the second I'm willing to buy you a ring, I'm willing to marry you.
I'm married in my mind.
The second I said I'm buying a ring.
We're married.
We're married.
So for her, it's the validation that it is true that I want to marry you.
Right?
So for her, I guess it was a way bigger deal.
There's like proof every single day that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
But for me, I know that.
That's why I bought it.
Yeah.
So, but yeah, I don't know.
I guess I'm growing now, guys.
You say fiancé, you say my girl.
I haven't said fiancé yet, like without correcting myself.
It's mad syllables, yo.
It is.
It gets exhausting real fast.
Every time I say fiancé, I'm like, that's my wife, yo.
And she's just like, no, we haven't had the wedding.
And I'm like, yeah.
But y'all had the important wedding.
We didn't have her religious ceremony.
But you had yours.
Yeah.
So for me, I'm married for her.
We're not.
But it's my wife.
Wait, hold on.
Wait, what is it?
For you, you're a marriage.
We're a different religion.
So we had the Hindu ceremony because the calendar is very important.
And what's hers, though, then she's sick.
She's sick.
So that's not, you don't, it don't matter.
There's no like favorable time or whatever.
So we're going to have that with the actual ceremony reception all then.
Okay.
Well, it is what it is.
Your boy's out the game.
Official.
Yeah.
I think it's a cultural celebration, man.
Hell yeah.
It's a cultural celebration.
Let's do it.
Now we need a, we need cups, dog.
Oh, you can take it to the fake.
Okay, fine.
That's for you and your shorty.
Congratulations, man.
So thank you so much.
So I'll.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You can take it to the head, but I do want to sip.
All right, so you don't get a sip.
You know what I mean?
Holly is about me.
What did you say?
Nothing.
You got to get used to that.
It ain't going to be about you for a long time.
The question is, when are you going down, boy?
Out of here.
No.
How come?
Why not?
Yo, Taylor, when you get married.
Yeah, Taylor.
Taylor, I have a story.
Uh-oh, okay.
Hold on.
Don't let it get die down.
You can check it up.
We're going to come to you in a second.
Ladies first.
No, no, no, no.
When are you getting married?
I'm not engaging anything that, but I'm sure you're not going to have a story.
We're going to listen to your story, but I want Al to skate on out of here, okay?
We're going to get to my point.
No, no, no.
My story doesn't even like it doesn't even matter.
You are the one.
Black women matter, Taylor.
Black women matter.
We know black women matter.
Not matter.
But mine doesn't really, it doesn't do anything.
Hold on one second.
We're going to get to yours in a second.
Y'all are the ones that propose, not me.
Taylor, Taylor, hold on one second.
Can we go, Al?
Can you please tell us what the deal is?
But I'm...
When aren't we popping on?
I just turned 33.
I got some.
My hands aren't strong enough to open.
Oh, my God.
Okay, now listen.
Tell me 100%.
Tell me 100%.
100%.
Why are you not engaged and when are you getting engaged?
And to whom?
You're a piece of shit.
You really are.
You're a real piece of shit.
Why am I a piece of shit?
Why are you doing this right now?
I'm just asking, bro.
It's a question.
I can't ask questions.
He doesn't want to see anyone else having fun if he can't have fun.
That's the thing, bro.
If you hook up with one chick out here in these streets, you're going to be so fucking mad.
No, no, no, no.
I'm out that.
I'm out the game, but I will say this.
I just turned 33.
Marriage isn't my future drug.
Not right now.
He's Jordan, bro, and you're LeBron out here.
And he's going to see you winning rings going, what the fuck is this?
I'm going to drop my last dance, bro.
Drop my last dance.
I'm not going to lie.
I will say this, which is kind of lit, is that it's amazing how excited the fellas get about a bachelor party the second you post a picture of the ring because I had a group chat that had literally 200 messages in it.
I looked out of my phone when I woke up the next morning and then it was like 15 messages.
And I was like, all right, the boys know.
They're saying congratulations, et cetera.
I look back like three minutes later.
There's 200 messages going.
And the last one is from one of my homies that goes, all right, I'm going to bring security.
What are we doing if we need security?
So the bachelor party, I'm very excited about.
Oh, it's going to be gay people everywhere.
That's my bachelor party.
Sure, sure.
All right, so Al.
So when do you think that you're wind up?
Why are you nervous, bro?
Nervous Bachelor Party Guests00:15:36
So we answered that already.
Why are you nervous, dog?
My foot's injured, son.
Come on.
You fully injured right now.
But for real, you guys are so nervous.
You white in the front.
He's already being jealous, possessive, cutting his foot.
Let's let this man live.
You know what I mean?
I feel pain.
I'm in pain right now.
Wow.
Yeah, why add to it by getting engaged?
Yeah, exactly.
Yo, Taylor, so tell us why.
I mean, it wasn't nothing crazy.
Like, we went to the jewelry store.
Oh, oh, shit.
That's that crazy.
And what?
And we just got some jewelry.
But the people there were really trying to drill him.
Like, oh, look at these rings.
He was checking them out, though.
So, that's what I'm going to say.
Would you marry him if he asked?
Yeah.
Get it.
Taylor's on the market.
Taylor's off the market.
You lock it down.
Yeah, you got to lock that dick down now.
You got to lock that down.
You got to lock that dick down.
We're obsessed with your boyfriend's dick here.
I'm Tiger.
It's got to name a whole episode after him.
What's his name?
Thor, probably, because he got that fucking hammer.
He got the hammer.
The ring's got to be as many carrots as this dick is long.
Yeah, in centimeters.
Yeah, yo, ring that.
That shit's 60.
Y'all ever dicked yourself in centimeters?
Yeah, of course.
Only way to do it.
Measured yourself.
Yeah, I'm like, measured your dick in centimeters.
You guys said, yes, ma'am.
That's your European dick.
Yo, European dick.
That's what I sound.
That's how you do it.
Yeah.
If some girl asks, how big is it?
You go in America or in England?
What?
I'm only giving England from now on.
What's an inch to centimeter?
How many centimeters are an inch?
Akash, go.
2.
No, it's 5.4.
It's - it's - it's like 3 and a little bit.
It's 3 and a little bit.
Oh, shit.
Come on.
You boy out here slanging, bro.
Damn.
Yo, you boy out here slanging.
Akash, you let down your Indian song.
Get it up, real quick.
Let's turn that shit up, bro.
What is it?
2.5 centimeters.
Damn, you are motherfucking.
10 inches.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
You already know it's.
Pretending something, something is that.
Damn.
Hey.
Yeah, but we're only showing European dick out.
Yo, European dick, bro.
And you add that foreskin that's got to be at least a little centimeter extra.
That's a couple centimeters.
That's how you do that.
Bell bottom.
You should call that shit your bell bottom.
Yeah, I got the flare pants.
You got the jeep coat.
Wait, What?
Yeah.
Hey, Britt, yeah, my man got the snuffalufficus.
Can we talk about this really quick?
You got the snuff of Lufficus.
Yeah, I got the Laura.
You still play with it a lot?
Yeah, we play with it.
Because it's something fun to play with it.
We hire MMs in there and then find them later.
What are you talking about?
Peanuts.
She makes him jump off the table and do a parachute.
Yeah.
Come on.
I hold the foreskin.
I'm a man seen that shit just slowing himself down like that.
You never jumped off the table with a full foreskin?
Yeah.
With full parachutes?
Like an army man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Grab the end, play double dudge.
Come on, Taylor.
What are you talking about?
It's a drawstring.
Come on, T.
Yeah.
You've never played with foreskin before?
Come on.
And by the way, he got removed.
They just keep it and play with him.
How are you going to say that when you're dressed like foreskin right now, Taylor?
Jesus.
You do have some foreskin.
You look like a whole foreskin.
Real talk.
It's crazy.
That little head piece that you got right there.
What is that?
That's how it feels.
You pinch the tip.
You can pee in his head for later.
That's her boyfriend's foreskin.
Matter of fact.
Real talk.
No bullshit.
You could have chopped that off your man.
My man's black, though.
Yeah, but you could have bleached it.
That's easy to do.
Or turned it inside out.
That foreskin looked like it came from Alex Fedia.
Alex Fedia?
Alex Fedia.
Bro, can we talk about a great point that you brought up?
Yeah.
So for me and all my skinned brothers, you made a point where you said the greatest marketing of all time is that we call it uncircumcised.
Oh, yeah.
I said, you know, Jews are the greatest marketers of all time.
Oh, that's a good ass question.
Can you expand on this point, please?
Yeah.
So Jews are the best marketers because we call his dick uncircumcised.
I mean, you guys, yeah.
As if he's the anomaly.
As if he's the anomaly.
It should just be called dick.
And we should be called circumcised.
But they made it seem like it's weird to not be circumcised.
It is weird.
And it is weird.
It's not.
You guys are dickless.
But it is dickless.
We are a little dickless, though.
We are a little bit more dickless than he is.
He has more dick than us.
Yeah.
Yes, he does.
Yep.
He has more dick than us.
No, no, no.
He has more of his dick than us.
Original dick, 100%.
You, not quite.
A minus.
Wait, you're uncircumcised too?
No, Taylor.
We call it dickless.
And dicklin'.
No, no, no.
We don't call it that.
Dicked or dickless?
What are you doing?
No, we don't call it.
I'm dicked.
I'm fully dicked, bro.
You have all of your dick.
I'm fully dicked.
You're not fully dicked.
Yeah, I'm dicked down.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am, dude.
No.
Because there's parts of your dick you're missing.
Not where?
The most of it?
Which end?
What are you talking about?
Yo, you're all foreskin, bro.
I've seen you pee, dude.
Don't say that.
Also, dude, honestly, I don't know if you even have a head.
It does not look like a Santa hat.
Is that what you're trying to say?
I'm being honest.
I think your dick is just like a garden hose, but it doesn't have the mushroom part.
Because when you pee, that shit sounds hella disorganized.
Your pee is mad disorganized.
I don't know when you pee like a saucepan.
Like when you're holding the tip of the fucking garden hose.
It's like you're trying to make sure that a golf course is watered.
That's what a man's pee sounds like.
I don't know, dude.
Because your shit goes everywhere.
Yeah, you can't control it.
I think you might have a bunch of people.
When you pull out the side, you might have a whole pusse at the end of your dick.
It sounds like when girls pee, it sounds like that when girls pee.
Yeah, you know how when you pee, it sounds like quiffs.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, that is true.
When girls pee, it's like a kid's birthday slip and slide.
Yo, that's true.
It is also true.
That is a good point to me.
Well, I'll question you.
When you get older, is your foreskin or whatever?
Is it going to shrivel up because you're getting old?
It gets longer.
Yeah, it gets longer.
Your ears and foreskin never stop growing.
It's like dreads.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
You just never cut it.
Yeah.
It's like an elf going to sleep with a cute hat that hangs down.
It's crazy.
Once I saw it, think about this.
It's nuts, dude.
His is weird.
He has like keeps things in him.
I saw a lifesaver in it one time.
Yeah, keep quarters and nickels.
For real.
Yeah.
For real.
You ever go to the store and they're like, oh, it's 22 cents.
Then you just throw it out of your foreskin?
You never done that?
Like Robin Hood?
Yeah.
It's like a Pez container.
He just pulls the top back.
Yeah.
It's a coin purse, Taylor.
It's functional, unlike you guys.
Yeah, I don't have that.
Yeah.
Are you?
I'm cirqued.
You are circed.
I am circed.
Is that in India?
Do they do that?
I don't know.
I know I am, but I do know some Indians who are not.
Who are not circled?
No, they're fully dick.
But Muslims get cut, don't they?
Muslims get that circle.
Yeah, men and women.
Yeah, yeah.
Man and women.
No, they're the most progressive.
Both of them get circumcised.
That's true equality.
Women ask each other, are you circumcised?
Uncircumcised.
Yeah.
100%.
And do you think?
Hold on.
I know where you're going.
Do you think guys hook up with girls and go, oh, gross, circumcised?
No, but yes.
You know how we judge Mark because his dick looks gross?
Do you think that there are Muslim women that come from circumcised places that judge uncircumcised Muslim women?
Is it so normalized?
Is female circumcision so normalized that women who are uncircumcised are judged by those that are in the same way we're judging Mark?
What's women being uncircumcised?
I'm so confused.
There are parts of the world where they cut girls' clips off.
Yeah.
They call it circumcision to make it better, but it's just female genital mutual.
So they don't feel no type of stuff.
That's how they feel.
That's how their dicks are.
It's just bare to the world, taking all the wind.
Yeah, no one really seems to care though.
We're just chopping off guys' cocks.
Yeah.
Did you know your dick feels less than me?
No, it's not true.
It is true.
Feels more.
How?
You're raw dogging the whole world all the time.
I thought they were more sensitive.
I've heard y'all are more sensitive.
Yeah, you guys are dicks.
There's more email.
Yeah, yeah.
My pubes have.
You got that kid cutty, ironically.
Yeah.
It's more sensitive because when he does insert it, the skin pulls back.
So they didn't.
When you call the fucking biologist, how do you know all this?
I've dealt with.
He's been on the front.
Bad in school.
No, but I'm just saying.
Like, it's an awful lot of times, right?
To be honest with us, it stinks.
Technically, it's not healthy for a woman.
How?
You actually have that.
I push back on that.
Yeah, no.
It is, though.
No, that's true.
Mark's isn't healthy because he doesn't wash it regularly.
That is true.
Mine's unhealthy for everyone.
Okay, even my friends.
Most are healthy.
Most, I think, are healthy.
I think that's the way dick is supposed to be.
Dick is supposed to come with some fermentiches.
Yeah.
Do you know what that is?
Fermundiches?
Yeah, I think I know.
Y'all, well, I'm just saying, especially if the guy goes raw.
It's going to be a health hazard too.
But then why would God make it like that?
Why would God make men designed to be dick cut off at birth?
God didn't give you piercings, but that looks good.
Yeah, it looks good.
It's different than it's unnatural to have sex, or like it's not healthy to have sex.
God didn't make your nails stop when it goes to the end of your finger, but you do that.
I'm just saying we augment our bodies.
And it looks better sometimes.
God didn't make you have perfect teeth, but sometimes you get braces.
I'm just saying, maybe God was like, yo, they're going to figure it out.
They're going to fix those dicks.
And plus, God, sometimes it's be making anybody too, though.
So you can't really do that.
Like, who?
Who knew who?
You don't ever just be walking around, especially in New York, like, damn, God is making anybody.
Yeah, with Lizzo, right?
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because your bald hair is too long.
You got to get that shit right.
I don't care if it's winter and it's getting a little chilly down there and you want to warm up.
There's no excuse, okay?
Put on a better pair of underwear.
There's no excuse.
You got to have them trimmed.
And I know why you're not trimming them because it takes time.
It does take time.
And that's what's fucking annoying about it.
You're like, when am I going to dedicate a good half hour to really get in there?
Use multiple.
No, no, no, no.
You know how you stop that time?
Manscape.
Simple as that.
Manscaped comes in.
I swear to God, it will take a tenth of the time.
A few minutes.
They got the different levels on the trimmer, just like you're at the barber.
You give that shape up.
Okay.
I'm taking that bush down, right?
But then I'm going right to the skin when it comes to the testicles.
All right.
My testicles looking like Jordan.
That's right.
Slick, back, shaving.
Nothing there.
I think.
Would Jordan Wright want to go with?
I didn't know any bald white guy.
Rick Berry?
My ball's looking like Rick Berry or Brent Berry.
One of them Barrys.
Okay.
Manscaped.com.
I'm telling you.
You go to manscape.com and you use that code flagrant and you're going to get 20% off.
Simple as that.
20% off to have your balls looking like a Barry.
That's a no-brainer.
Let's get back to the show.
Leo is beautiful.
Don't do that.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Beyonce's beautiful.
You mean like on her?
Lizo is not beautiful.
Lizzo is.
You mean like on anybody?
Don't do that.
No, she's not ugly, but not objectively beautiful.
Like if we're going to say objectively beautiful.
I'm not talking about personality.
I'm literally talking about like, what is it the word I'm looking for?
When you can divide something evenly?
Attractive.
Symmetry.
Yeah, symmetry.
Attractive.
In terms of symmetry of face.
Like they say, for example, Denzel Washington, the reason why he was looked at is so beautiful is because he has perfect symmetry in his face.
You can cut his face in half and both are exactly.
I believe it.
Okay.
I believe that.
You cut Lizzo's face in half.
There's going to be an apple split as well.
No, I'm not doing this.
I love Lizzo.
That shit's going to look like a luau.
There's going to be some hungry, hungry Hawaiians around that shit.
No, we're not doing that.
We're not.
Okay.
It just took me a second to get it.
I'd be slow on the jokes about it.
That was good.
I want to know how we got here.
No, no.
But no, Carlo, there's people that out here that God just be making anybody.
Yes, yes.
Obviously, that does happen.
But I do think it's unfair that we have to only judge Lizzo based on her beauty.
Like, why can't we judge her based on her talent?
Why can't we judge her based on her personality?
She has amazing talent, too.
And that kind of thing.
Honestly, she's like the Beyoncé of Big Girls.
Performance-wise.
Yeah.
Yo.
No, and again, I'm not questioning that.
I'm not questioning it.
But what I'm saying is she doesn't also have to be beautiful.
We do this weird thing.
No, I believe that.
But we do this weird thing with women, right?
Where we go, like, when they're good at anything.
When they're good at anything, we go, and they're also beautiful because women aren't allowed to just be good at shit.
Why can't women just be good at shit?
Put on those glasses, got mad, woke.
Oh, shit.
You're looking like a king, Kate.
Oh, shit.
Thanks, King.
I appreciate you, King.
I appreciate you.
You know what I mean?
Y'all ain't there yet.
So do you think Lizzo sells less?
All right, Taylor.
So do you think Lizzo sells less tickets at her concert?
Because total size?
Well, they just got to buy more tickets.
Like you're talking about they like take up the business.
They got to buy more.
They got to buy two seats like on an airplane.
Yeah, how does that work?
Wait, what?
Her fans?
Yeah.
Why do you think her fans are big?
You just said women, are you talking about the things that cool her down or the people that are the people that are in the stadium?
They're not.
Why do you think they have to be big too?
I don't know anything about it.
They have to be big, though.
They're not big.
I don't know.
Jeremy Lynn was killing it with the Knicks.
There was a lot of Asians in the crowd.
That's all I got to say.
I don't know anything about Lizzo's fans, but you just said she was the Beyonce.
Because Lizzo fans are.
Oh, yeah, he's going to have what you said.
Lizzo fans have a lot of LGBTQ.
And so does Beyonce.
Okay.
And they have a sandwich that she likes to order LGBT.
I hate y'all.
Oh, my God.
Yo, she be the delivery.
Can I go to LGBT LGBT, please?
I just took a DNA to as turns out.
I need to lower my cholesterol.
Not laughing at this at all.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Taylor.
Come on.
Lizzo, my girl.
Like, I love her.
Her music does make you feel like a bad bitch, though.
I love Lizzo.
I love Lizzo, too.
You can love people that aren't all right looking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, why do you call her?
Why do you not think she's beautiful?
I think she's all right.
Why can't I be objective?
What's I like, though, about her because of her size?
Or like, that's it.
Her face is all right.
Butt is all right.
Actually, no, I'm not even into the butt.
She don't got much, but it's unfortunate that women can't just be talented.
That's what I feel.
The feminist did it's me, that women can't just be.
Yo, why can't Taylor, why can't you just be great at your job?
Why you got to be beautiful and great at your job?
Nobody goes to me, yo, Andrew, you're beautiful and great at your job.
I just happen to be that.
Christopher, Andrew, people be calling you sexy and everything else like that.
Keep going, girl.
Keep going, girl.
You don't need these bifocals to know that.
Let's go.
Lizzo.
You think that she was trying to say, let's go, but then ate the TV guy.
Career Over Looks Debate00:05:50
We're not talking about Lizzo.
Come on, Al.
Are we off, Al?
Or what?
No, we're good.
We're right off point.
That's it.
We're good.
Yo, I literally don't think there's anything wrong with Lizzo.
I just hate her.
I hate this position.
Like, if everyone was fat in the world, would y'all still be saying something about her?
Yo, here's a good here's a good example.
Go, make some sense of it.
I don't understand.
Adele is an attractive fat.
Okay.
Lizzo's not.
Like, she's not super ugly, but she's just not in.
Section go wild.
Oh, Al Wood.
I love the fat white girl.
Okay, no, I'll give you another one.
Jill Scott is an attractive fat.
Now we're talking, bro.
Lizzo is not.
That's why.
Why are you saying that she's not attractive?
Hold on, hold on.
You're saying Lizzo is as attractive as Jill Scott?
Yes.
You look like Jill, you're lying.
Yeah, you are.
But you're only saying that because she shakes her ass and everything else, and y'all don't want to say that.
I don't think Ruben Stutter is sexy.
You know what I mean?
Who's a sexy fat guy?
I don't know.
Patrice wasn't sexy to me.
Yeah, but there's probably a fat guy.
The guy from day 26, he was mad.
Fine.
Y'all not gonna know.
Yeah, we're not gonna know that.
Point is, point is, you can be beautiful and fat.
We're just saying, objectively speaking, Lizzo is not that beautiful.
That doesn't take away from how talented she is.
Yeah, but I think it also comes from the person that's judging him, too.
Like, fat isn't your type.
It could be type for someone else.
I think it's type two.
I think that's what type is.
I think that's what we need to be concerned about.
This is a health issue.
Okay.
Let's be honest.
What's more swollen, Liz or Alex's foot?
I'm picking.
Well, wait, swollen?
I'm picking Alex's foot.
Wow.
You guys.
Again, and I hate the fact.
Like, I hate that these conversations come to this shit because it's like, don't you as a woman want to be able to just be talented and that's enough?
No.
Like, I hate it.
I'm going to be beautiful and talented.
I know, but it sucks that y'all want to be that.
Like, guys, we don't feel that pressure.
Like, if a guy is just talented, we're like, that's lit.
That's enough.
That's great.
But if a girl is talented and ugly, she's still tight.
She's still putting on tons of makeup, doing all this other shit.
While dudes aren't doing nothing because they're like, oh, you respect me for what I do?
Great.
Society, I don't know what that is.
Fuck that part of society.
Let these ugly bitches be talented.
That's all we're saying.
Linda's not ugly.
Say what?
She's not ugly.
She's not saying she's ugly.
She's all right.
She's fine.
All right.
What do you give her?
On an earthquake scale.
Technically.
Technically, everybody's.
I was still going to Richter, but I feel like people might not know it.
But technically, everyone's alright without makeup, though.
Say what?
Everyone's alright without makeup.
That's not true.
Yo, you lying, bro.
That's not true.
There are some people that are naturally beautiful without makeup.
Like naturally mad beautiful.
My girl.
Yes, sir.
My fiancé, I'm sorry.
Yo, your fiancé bad without makeup.
Gorgeous.
Yo, your girl bad without makeup.
Sexy.
Yo, your wife bad without makeup.
Yes, yes.
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay.
I just took a DNA test.
What does it turn out?
Turns out.
What are you?
Shit.
I clearly be one thing.
I might be another.
Yo, we should all take DNA tests, quite frankly.
Whoa, I'll just let one rip.
The cat is out the bag.
I'll just let the cat out the bag.
I bet he was talking about you let something fly.
God.
Yeah.
What?
Anyway, point is, ladies, y'all should be allowed to be talented without this pressure to be beautiful, too.
You know what I mean?
You know what the problem is.
What is it?
The problem is us men are shallow about the wrong things.
Women are shallow about the right things.
Speak, King.
Women are shallow about how successful and great a man is, while men are shallow about how aesthetically beautiful she is.
That's our insecurity that we're going to show off our beautiful girl to the world.
That's right.
And if we were only more shallow about how successful y'all are, then you would care more about that succession and not give a flying fuck if you were good looking or not.
So it's up to us to be more shallow about your careers and less shallow about your looks.
But that shit ain't going to happen.
It might happen.
Not with our generation.
Yo, that's the perfect thing to do once you get engaged.
Be like, nah, what we need to start doing is care about what these women do for a living.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Y'all are going to be the first generation to start that shit.
So with that said, yo, Taylor, your career is mad sexy, yo.
Oh, shit.
Mad sexy, yo.
Yeah, I get mad.
How do y'all feel like saying that to me when I'm like dressed like a man though?
Because we don't focus on that tail.
Yeah, it's way easier.
We focus on your accomplishments.
Yeah, your accomplishments.
I think it's the second you put on white fakes, Alex is really starting to get a little bit of a break.
I see that too.
I see that too.
I never got a compliment like that.
I never got a compliment like that.
Let's see.
No, I went for it.
Yes.
Okay, my bad.
Give me the eyebrow and a wink, too.
Say what?
Give me an eyebrow and a wink.
He gave the eyebrow and a wink.
Yo, that's disrespectful, yo.
Your boyfriend might come over here and beat you with his chick.
Indiana Jones.
Bro, this nigga's got a handle for sure, right?
Before your boyfriend fights with you, you have to sling his dick over his shoulders and then put his shit in there.
Bro, he just dips with the dick over his shoulder, dog, like a chain is nothing.
I hate that.
Is that what hit the rock in his forehead that made him bleed over the weekend?
Yeah, am I the only one that follows the rock?
I guess I'm gonna follow him.
We fucking with the rock.
We ain't commenting on my Instagram.
We ain't putting no dicks on a rock, son.
That's that's all man right there.
Disrespectful Eyebrow Wink00:15:08
Yeah, I fucked up.
Yo, my bad, Rocky.
Don't call him Rocky ever again, so chill.
What?
Am I fucking up?
Yeah, you give it a cute little nicknames and shit.
Rockasito, my baro.
Put your big biceps.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Swole ass motherfucker.
What's your cheat day?
I gave you a cheat day.
I got some dessert for you, Rock.
I got some tasty treats if you want them.
You look like a dessert.
Hey, real talk.
Oh, y'all look like a dessert.
Real talk, Cinnabon-looking ass motherfuckers.
Yeah, damn.
He looks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch right now for sure.
Real talk.
Where's the milk?
I'll provide it.
It's on Akash's family.
I got it.
You look like a caramel shake, yo.
Red nose right here.
You look like a powdered donut.
You look like a pumpkin spice latte, bro.
There's white on the top, brown underneath.
That's why you're a pumpkin spice latte or something.
Missed out fire when he put the whipped cream on it.
Oh, God.
All right, guys.
Let's talk about some actual tings that happened this week.
Did y'all see Borat?
Yes.
I asked everybody to try to watch Borat, that trash ass fucking movie.
Did y'all watch the whole thing?
Be honest.
How far did you get it?
I got through it.
You got through the whole thing?
I got through it.
Did you watch the whole thing?
I got through the whole thing because you said we have to watch this shit.
I tried.
I got through 25 minutes and I had to turn it off.
Did you see the Giuliani thing?
That's the thing worth watching.
Yeah, that was the part.
That was the main thing we had to see in it.
Bro, I literally fucking kidding me, yo.
Well, right?
You didn't watch the Juliani.
I didn't watch that part.
I don't even fucking kidding.
Real talk, real talk.
I don't even think he watched 20 minutes.
Oh, I swear to God, I watched 20 minutes.
What happens the first time?
That's not good.
No, yeah, what happens the first 30 minutes?
I swear to God, I watched it.
What happens in the first 20 minutes?
What happens in the first 30 minutes?
Oh, Borav drops a bottle and cuts his foot.
You know, and then he goes to the hospital.
He's like, oh, my foot, my wife.
Those Jews.
The Jews broke my foot.
Okay.
First 20 minutes, he's locked up.
He was in Kazakhstan.
They take him out.
He's like, we want you to deliver this monkey to Mike Pence.
And then he does through all the things where he sees his girl or his daughter and meets his daughter.
Right.
And then he goes to America.
And then the daughter is.
Oh, spoiler.
Sorry.
Spoiler.
Yeah.
I saw the first 25 minutes.
Okay.
Is that right?
I didn't watch that shit.
So it's literally, it's literally unwatchable.
If you guys were thinking of watching it, it is mind-boggling, how, it's mind-boggling how unfunny Sasha Barracohan is.
I was watching it with my girl, and she literally turns to me at one point, my fiancé, excuse me.
And she turns to me at one point, she goes, she goes, did we find this funny when we were kids?
It's not as good.
And there's, and I want to hear your guys' thoughts as to why you thought it wasn't as good because I think there's a specific reason.
But think, because you only watched 20 minutes of the fucking movie.
I want to hear about the Giuliani thing, but just the first 25 minutes, and I turned the fucking thing off.
It was so bad.
I think it's, he's not funny enough where if people know that it's a joke, they'll still laugh.
He's funny enough where if it's a prank and that person doesn't know that it's him, we're laughing at that person reacting to him being serious.
But he's not comedically talented enough to write jokes that permeate the person being in on the joke.
The first 25 minutes really just showed like people having a great sense of humor.
It was like he was, they were like half in on it, half not.
You know what I mean?
I laughed once at the guy at the phone store because that guy didn't know what he was or what he was doing.
Anybody that knew what he was into or got the game more or less and they were going along with it, I was like, this is unwatchable.
And it really exposed how like unfunny he is.
Yeah.
His real, honestly, like the real thing that is so amazing about him is his balls.
Yeah, he's brave.
He's brave, but his fate, and I admire bravery, don't get me wrong.
But his bravery is mitigated when everybody knows who he is.
It's like his career can only hit a certain level because his career is based on you not knowing who he is.
And once knowing him is ubiquitous, right?
Once we all know him, you've killed your own career because you're not funny enough to actually write jokes that people who know that you're making jokes will laugh at.
Each character gets like a movie.
He doesn't.
Each character gets one movie and then it's out.
He does address that.
But in the beginning.
Yeah.
In the beginning, he tries to do everybody knows me.
So the device is, I'm going to have my daughter.
Yes.
Which will essentially be me.
But the daughter can't really live without him.
I mean, that's why the daughter's like, can I be a journalist too, et cetera?
And the jokes are kind of funny.
Because that's the only way you can make it work.
Exactly.
But I don't say that he's not funny enough.
He's not just not our kind of funny.
His funny is his balls, but that is to be admired.
And then when he's in that character, he can say funny things.
Like in the first borrow at when he asks the feminist what she believes, and she's like, man, you know, men and women are equal.
And then he just laughs in her face.
That's like a funny thing.
It's hilarious.
Yes.
But then you know the game and you're like, oh, this is just what you do.
You're just going to say that.
Once you know the character's him, it's like, okay, there's nothing to do.
And so they had to maneuver around it.
And the first one, that wasn't the case.
And that's why it was so funny because nobody knew.
And it was brilliant.
He was brilliant.
I used to love watching him prank the people.
That was great.
Yeah.
But it's no different than any other prank show.
Like, we acted like I think he likes to see, because he's like an Oxford educated dude.
He likes to see himself doing like some like cultural satire.
And I see what he does as no different than what the Nelk boys do.
Like there's this kid who's absolutely hilarious, Salim.
He's on Instagram.
Fucking, and he goes up to people and he moans in their ear.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is, there's no difference between moaning in someone's ear in the grocery store and like trying to do this like culturally savvy thing.
And I'm going to use sexism as a as a game to have some meta joke about how we view women in this world.
It's like, that wasn't the funny part.
It's just funny that that person doesn't know that you're making jokes.
I'm going to put me back a bit.
Go, It is in the same way that people in an audience just laugh at stand-up jokes and like it's funny or it's not.
And then we who actually do the thing are like, nah, there's more elevated stuff to this to what we're doing.
Yeah.
I think there's more elevated stuff in like the character he's playing is different than just moaning in an ear.
It's a character.
Now, what I don't like about it is I think he's poking fun at, he's looking down on a lot of people from kind of a condescending place.
And it's like, you haven't seen this part, but obviously he's a Jewish.
Okay, Sean can keep going.
The only part that has Jews, he goes into a synagogue and he does his jokes of like, oh, you're the devil.
Please don't eat me.
Whatever.
But then he shows the sweetest, most accepting, open-minded Jewish woman in the world.
She's fucking amazing.
She's like, Geela, you love this woman.
Exactly.
That's the only depiction you have of a Jewish person.
And then everything else is jokes about Middle Eastern people and how they hate women.
Toothless white people.
Kazakhstanis are, I mean, like, the fact that he acts like he's doing something that's like against racism.
I think his charity is like stop hate for profit.
I don't know if that's sarcasm or not.
Can you look it up?
But that's what's on his Twitter.
It's stop hate for profit, I think, is his charity.
And it's just like, that's your life.
Yes.
Your life is profiting off of hate and like finding people and making them look the most hateful as they possibly can.
And if he made fun of Jews too and everybody got that smoke, hey, I can't hate on it.
Son, Kazakhstanis, I'm surprised.
I'm wondering how Kazakhstanis feel about it.
They're pedophiles.
They incest.
They fuck their sister.
They live in these what's that?
It's not his charity, but it is like a movement.
It's an actual real movement.
Yeah, it's against like Facebook ads.
But how detached can you be?
Like, you promote the same hate.
You are Facebook.
All you do is a movie.
I think he would say, Oh, I'm playing a character and I don't believe that.
But what you're doing is selectively selectively editing these clips and finding ways to make these people look as racist as they possibly can as massage as they possibly can, as sex as they possibly can, and then cutting all the stuff that makes people, especially Americans, because this is a satire in America, Americans that don't look like that.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you're cutting every single bit of footage that shows, yeah, Americans are pretty reasonable and they just don't really care about your little.
There are funny bits within it, though.
If you, it's not nearly as good as the first one, he can't be.
He was so funny.
I just want to point out when I thought he was so hilarious.
And there were some amazing pieces that he did in the past.
Even the Who is America stuff I thought was there were funny sketches.
I couldn't get through a lot of Who is America.
Really?
I didn't see Philips.
I just saw sketches.
And he also does expose a lot of, like, you're like, wow, there's some truly dumb people in America.
And those are southerners.
I don't, I feel bad looking down, but you're like, wow, you really believe this shit, huh?
You're like truly internet educated.
You can find those people in the north too.
Like, he just takes tropes.
And that's what I don't like because if, like you said, if somebody did that with Jews, he would feel a certain way about it.
Like, if somebody did that with Muslims, Muslims would feel a certain way about it.
It's so easy to just handpick groups that you already have these stereotypes about and then lean into those.
Yeah.
And it's very low-hanging fruit.
And I think the reason why you felt the way you did was because the first one came out in 2006.
Yep.
We were early 20s.
Kids, yeah.
And the stuff that he was saying was even way more edgy than this one was.
So it's like, we're young.
Our brains aren't as like a bad thing.
Also, watching the end though, it's funny.
It might not be as funny.
Say your points.
Like our brains weren't as like necessarily woke as we are now.
So to be a young 20-year-old and you just see this guy just ripping cultures and being silly about it.
And this is on movie theaters.
You're like, holy shit, this guy's insane.
And we're laughing at the fact that he has so much balls to say that type of shit.
Right now we're looking at it.
It's like, oh, this is not, you're not really taking that big of a risk because now it's like, we know you're just playing a game.
And me watching this now, it was so bad because I see the cuts in it.
And because I'm on the production side.
So I see half the things that I thought he was getting away with saying.
He isn't.
He says the shit after the fact.
And then they cut it in regular response.
Like, it's so bad.
Yeah, it's so fake.
And that's what pissed me off.
To respond to that.
Yeah.
To respond to that is that like, if he's saying things when they're not there, one, now you lose all the bravery.
Yeah.
Right.
And two, you're not representing their response.
Yeah.
It's not real.
But the first one's like that, too.
I watched the first one right after.
So he's a fraud.
I watched the first one right after.
And there's times that you can see when he's talking to somebody, there's a completely different angle.
And the time of day, you can tell like the lighting is different.
I think he was in a lawsuit, I'm pretty sure, over the first one.
But I'm pretty sure he was on a bus with a bunch of kids and they talked about shit.
And then the kids, they were like college kids at like some college.
Yeah, University of South Carolina or something like that.
Something like that.
Like some southern boys.
He gets them drunk.
Gets him drunk and starts saying wild shit.
I think they sued him.
I think they settled.
I'm not positive.
The detailed stuff.
They would say it's wow.
I remember that.
But they were like, oh, I was baited.
We didn't get permission to be whatever.
Like, he entrapped us, whatever, whatever.
Because he, like, this shit they were saying, like, a lot of N-word shit and all that.
Like, was it, was it?
I can't defend that.
I'm pretty sure it's a lot.
I think, don't put the N words.
It wasn't racist stuff.
I don't actually remember them saying the N-word, but they were just saying how women are lower-class citizens.
They're just there.
Like, one dude was just like, oh, I don't respect women.
I just fuck them.
And that's it.
Like, they were saying some real chauvinistic shit.
And it's like the way it's cut, it's so bad.
So I think the judge sided with Borat.
They did.
But the point is, is like, you kind of got to be like a bad person to do that to somebody.
And you justify it through it through going, well, look at these evil people.
I'm just poking fun at people who are evil.
And it's like, well, you're kind of putting them in situations so they're evil.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, they're not going up to you and saying, hey, can I say the N-word on your camera?
Can you promote it to the entire world?
You're getting them drunk and charging them up and like making them be like fratted out bros to say stupid shit.
Yeah, I think you told them like the movie will never be shown in America.
You're lying to them about what it is.
It's like going in the locker room, recording the conversation, and then just putting it for the world to see.
But at the same time, you shouldn't say racist shit on camera.
Exactly.
No one's giving pushback real quick.
No one's giving pushback to that, right?
You shouldn't be saying this stuff, but there is something to be said about a dude who, like, just him in general.
The older I get, the more I realize what a fucking scumbag this dude Sasha Baron Cohen is.
It's like, you really are just going to like take advantage of people's kindness, especially their kindness in like bringing you into their home.
Like people bring him into their home, bring him into their businesses, bring him into their work, right?
Like they welcome him willingly, trying to make him feel uncomfortable.
And then he like sneaks in slimy, sneaks and takes advantage of them, makes them look as bad as they possibly can to make millions of dollars and ruins their reputation in their own community.
You got to be a horrible like human being to live with that.
And then you go masquerade or stop hate for profit.
Shut the fuck up.
Like, who the fuck are you?
You are hate for profit.
Yeah, he plays on a lot of tropes.
And I actually liked certain scenes.
Like, he goes and stays with those dudes who I was saying, like, oh, they're pretty dumb.
But the dudes don't really say anything racist.
They're like, death to Democrats.
Democrats did this.
I don't, and maybe I'm misremembering, but I don't remember them being like, I thought the show was about to get uncomfortably racist.
And it didn't.
They hate the fuck out of Democrats.
And Wuhan might have been started in China or something like that, but not like, you know, these fucking, and then racial slur, racial slur, racial slur.
So it almost like, I almost looked at it like, oh, look, we're not as hateful as you think.
We put up with a lot of your shit.
We invite you into our home and we won't have it, but we're not as hateful as you think.
Let me ask you a question, Akash.
How would you feel as an Indian, right?
Yeah.
If an English person went to India, that's what Sasha Baron Cohen is, English, went to India and did a whole fucking movie about how dumb Indians are, how backwards Indians are, how racist, how hateful Indians are.
100% wouldn't like it.
100%.
Why do Americans, why do we let other motherfuckers, outsiders, come into our shit and become millionaire and celebrities clowning us?
And again, the thing that bothers me, the thing I respect about us is everybody gets smoked.
Everyone gets smoked.
I'll make fun of Indians.
You don't make fun of white people?
But that's family business, though.
That's what I'm saying.
That's us.
We could do it because we live it.
We're friends.
We know each other.
Who are these fucking outsiders coming here acting like they know our culture and they're talking about our shit?
But if we were selective, if every time you made an Indian joke, I was like, yo, cut that out of the podcast, yo.
That's not cool.
Leave that out.
Don't put that in.
Then it'd be like, yo, you're being selective about who you make fun of.
Fuck you.
Sasha Baron Cohen, there's a lot of jokes about anti-Semitism and killing Jews and whatever, but he doesn't ever poke fun.
You could poke fun at some stuff in the Jewish culture.
Everybody can get them jokes.
If everybody got them jokes, I'd be with it.
Everybody.
Just the shit he was like constantly getting at Jews, the way he was doing it.
It was uncomfortable.
He was like so cringy.
Because he's trying to trigger a reaction which would agree with it, right?
Yeah.
And I'm just like, remember who you did that joke about, like, how many would kill a gypsy if I want to kill 20 gypsies with the tank of gas or whatever?
Like, I laughed at that because it's a crazy thing to say to somebody.
It's a crazy line, right?
It's crazy how the guy just responds very, he's like, hey, you need the bigger one.
Yeah, you need the bigger one.
But he's in on the, he's like, oh, I know what you're doing, buddy.
I'll play this fucking game with you.
You know, I don't know.
I just like, to me, like, there's something wrong with you, bro.
There's still some ballsy shit, though.
Uncomfortable Jewish Culture Jokes00:06:23
There's no love.
Sorry to interrupt, but like, there's no love in it, bro.
Like, I don't know, man.
Like, I think I come from a place where I make fun of motherfuckers for a living, but there's love in it.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if I'm making fun of you, you know that there's love.
Like, I know someone about your culture.
I appreciate that thing about your culture and you kind of feel safe with it, right?
And I'm not trying to do a comparison thing, but like, there's love in that roast, you know?
And I don't see any love in this, man.
I don't see him going, I think southern culture is beautiful and fun, and these guys are great characters, and like I just wanted to showcase how they're fun, but also showcase some other shit.
This is just, you're dumb.
I wish they showed the punk moment.
That would make it a little bit better.
Oh, when they showcase how it's been.
Yeah.
Like, just show after the fact, just like, hey, guys, I'm just being silly with you.
So, like, at least lift that down so I don't feel bad for that person that you just used.
You used, bro.
You know.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
There's got to be heart in it.
There's got to be some heart in it, bro.
Yeah.
I mean, there doesn't have to be, but like, otherwise it just kind of sits word.
Bro, I swear to God, we put out clips every week.
I defy you to find a clip where you don't see some fucking heart in it, bro.
I don't care how vicious the roast is.
It's not fun for me if I'm making someone feel horrible, man.
That's not what I'm into.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like, it's like, we're roasting because we love you, bro.
Yeah, it's not, that's what it's about.
That's what we do on this podcast.
This is what everybody feels safe to get made fun of on this podcast.
Y'all will kill me on this very podcast about personal shit.
I don't care.
We just spent the first 10 minutes ripping you.
There's some love in it.
It's like when I see a whole movie, there's no love in it, and I know you're making money off it.
You didn't see the whole movie.
You, right?
When I see 22, 25 minutes.
You love a movie with no love in it, bro.
And you're just making money.
I'm like, oh, you just profiting off of hate.
You're just doing that shit that you say you're against, bro.
You should watch the Giuliani shit, though.
Tell me about the Giuliani shit.
Break down the Giuliani shit.
You want to help here chime in?
Anything I miss?
This girl that's female Borette is interviewing Giuliani.
Yep.
And she's flirting with him a little bit.
But Juliani and shit.
But Giuliani not at all.
Not with it.
And then they go into his room.
He lays down on the bed.
He's like, let me get your name and number.
Starts taking off his pants.
And it's like.
That's not what he did.
He unzips his pants.
They go to the bedroom and she's taking off his microphone.
So to take off the lapel mic, you have to unbutton your shirt.
And then once he buttons his shirt back, he goes, lays back and takes the shirt and tucks it into his pants.
It looks like he's just taking his hands and going down and grabbing his dick or whatever the case is.
But if you really look at it closely, he is tucking his shirt in.
Yeah, that's what I read.
So he's just an old man who had to lay back in order to tuck his shirt.
That's the funny thing.
He edited it in a way that makes him look like he's going to do some foul shit with Shorty.
And that's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, they added another one like they hold hands, but like they, I think they held hands in order to pray or some shit.
But they make it look like he's just like trying to hold her hands or something.
Like they're being tricky with it.
Yeah.
And so now he's just lying about.
I like that shit at all.
That's corny.
And that's.
You're using like camera tricks and cuts to make a look.
That's the case because I thought he's laying down.
And most people are like you.
And most people are like you, right?
So it's just like.
And that's the thing you know is bullshit because it never caught any steam.
Nothing ever happened.
Like, right.
No one really actually looked at it with any credibility because they're like, yeah, it's probably not.
That's something that Americans like, and every country should do this.
But like, yo, that's family business.
And if motherfuckers are going to talk about the family, you better come correct.
And if you're using angles and lies and all this other shit to make money off of us talking about the family, I got a little issue with that, man.
And you could tell he was even trying to make it clickbaity because he says, no, that's my daughter.
She's 15.
Like, this girl looks like a woman.
And she's interviewing you as like a fucking news anchor.
So why would Giuliani think in his head that I'm being interviewed by a 15-year-old girl?
But then he like runs in the room.
He's like, no, no, no, that's my daughter.
She's 15.
She's 15.
But he's like just saying this in that moment.
And Giuliani's like getting up.
He's like, he's probably just started.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
You see Borrette come in with the fucking G-string or some shit like that.
So it's just a wild moment.
And they just try to make it look way worse than what really happened.
Why is she taking off his lapel mic?
Because they just finished the interview.
Why is she moving?
That's normal, bro.
Yeah, like sometimes I've had to put lapel mic on somebody.
How many times have you been at MTV filming guide code and then they take your shit off?
Like literally every episode, they would take your shit.
Yeah, usually they just hand it to me and I put it on.
Really?
They don't hide it for you specifically with the clothing that you do or do a specific sticky thing?
No, I usually, I usually do it.
Really?
Maybe there's times and I can't remember, but you gotta get it.
There's been times I've put on a lapel mic on someone.
And then I definitely asked them, like, hey, do you want to take this off?
Like, if it's a woman or whatever, and a dude, like, you want to take it off or you want me to put it on, like, whatever the case is.
Like, so, yes, of course, she was trying to make it seem like it was something more than it is by touching him and things like that, but it really didn't seem sexual in nature to me.
And he does.
I'll be honest about it.
I will say he does some creepy shit where, like, it's like, you can't tell if it's old man shit or if it's him actually being creepy, but he'll like pet her back.
Like, while she, he's like sitting there, she like leans over, like, takes lapel off, and he, like, kind of like pats her back a little bit, like right above her butt.
Like, it's not like explicitly sexual, but it's kind of like, I wouldn't want someone doing that to my girl.
You know what I mean?
I'm not defending Giuliani.
I saw a little bit just of that because I saw that story popping up.
I'm not defending Giuliani.
Again, I don't know what the heck is that.
He might be a creep.
He could be a creep.
I don't think this thing proves it.
Exactly.
He could be a creep, and it shows that he's a little creepy.
And they could be fucked up in the way that they edited it.
Yeah.
That I can, yeah.
Both things are wrong.
Is that fair to say?
Yeah, both things can be true.
Yeah.
So it's just like, I don't know, man.
It's a bummer, man.
Because that motherfucker was so funny when we were younger.
I used to look up to that.
I think it was because we were young.
Yo, Robbie brought up a funny clip.
Remember the one where what was it, Shorty?
She was the dancing girl.
She did like Lunel or whatever.
Nah, nah, nah.
She was, it was, he was interviewing this girl.
She was on like American Idol, I think, in the beginning.
She was one of the judges of American Idol.
She was famous.
Paul Abdul.
Oh, yeah.
The dancing girl?
No, she wasn't known for dancing.
She was like, really?
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
So he's interviewing her and they don't have any chairs in the room.
So he brings some Mexican dudes in from outside and he asks them to go on all fours.
And they sit down on the Mexicans.
And then he starts interviewing her.
And the first question is, so how do you feel about human rights?
Like, that is hilarious.
That's a hilarious set piece of comedy.
Is that Oli G or Borret?
What was it?
He used to do Ollie G, which is like...
Ollie G, maybe?
I don't know what the character is supposed to be, but he just interviews these celebs and just asks the most ridiculous.
Paul Abdul Interview Chaos00:02:13
He's like a grime like UK rapper.
Yeah.
And to be honest, I like, I think it's okay to go at celebs with it because those people are asking for like exposure.
They're agreeing to be on this because they're like, oh, this will help propel my fame.
Yeah.
Right.
The average person that owns a fucking like fish store, fishing store.
If he makes fun of everybody, I'm with it.
I don't want to do the thing where it's like, oh, they're beneath him, so you can't punch down.
Punch down, but punch everywhere.
Punch motherfucking everywhere.
You punch at your people and them.
Hey, man, you're punching.
Yeah.
I guess I'm just saying it's easier to, it's easier to put.
I'm not against punching down.
We love punched down.
It's hilarious.
But it's just easier to take advantage of those people.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's just like you coming in with all these camera crews and all this shit.
You just kind of like fast talk them and then get the fuck out of there.
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Anyway, no more time on Borat.
Kanye Detox Pill Scheme00:09:57
What else we got going on?
While we're rambling, why don't we talk about Kanye?
Oh, yes.
So, Kanye went on Rogan.
You were talking about some shit I couldn't finish.
I couldn't finish that either, but I watched longer.
Yeah, I got about an hour and a half.
It's, you know, what's so interesting?
It's so hard to call someone who is so much more successful than you an idiot, but Kanye makes it easy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, he is so much more successful than everybody in this room.
But he's a fucking idiot, a rambling idiot.
You know what he is to me?
He's just bipolar and he's off his meds and he just fucking talks and talks and talks.
And I love Joe.
I think Joe knows how to handle Kanye a lot.
The one thing I didn't like was when Joe was like, Yeah, no, you clearly don't need meds.
Now, this guy needs meds, yo.
And I'm not a fucking mental health expert, but I guess we got a couple friends that are watching.
Why are you like Kanye's done this, like hasn't done this before?
He has.
Exactly.
Like, he's been like this.
I'll tell you what I saw about this.
And I think Joe gave him the fairest shot.
And maybe I'm biased because I fucking love Joe.
Yes.
But I think he gave Kanye the fairest shot at explaining himself.
Yeah.
And I don't think he explained himself.
No.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, this is, and Al, maybe you saw something different.
And I really want to hear your perspective.
What I saw when I'm watching this interview is why Kanye loves Trump.
Because Kanye can see a con man.
Kanye's a con man.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Trump is a con man.
They're both brilliant at the con, okay?
And they're so good at this one thing, which is part of the con, is convincing people they're great.
Kanye realized if he just says, I'm the best, people just believe that he's the best.
Kanye is an unbelievable music producer.
Nobody's taking that away from him.
Outside of that, I don't know if there's anything exceptional, exceptional.
The way he's, and I'm not a Kanye fan, but the way he has moved fashion, it's insane.
So fashion is bullshit.
Fair.
Right?
So fashion, whatever somebody just decides is the hot thing is the hot thing.
And this is how you know fashion is bullshit: is that what's really uncool can become cool in the matter of a week.
Dad shoes are the most uncool thing.
Then they become cool.
There's no rules to fashion.
The only thing that matters in fashion is the cool person wears it and then it becomes it.
So it's not the way the item looks.
It's about who wears it.
And Kanye has convinced a large swath of people that he is a genius.
And he's done this simply by saying he's a genius.
Trump is the exact same way.
Trump used to say he was a billionaire before he was ever a billionaire.
He would call up different magazines, like what are those magazines that cover when people go out to parties and shit like that?
Oh, like Esquire, lifestyle magazines, tabloids.
He'd call up tabloids as his, apparently, as his own publicist, but not say it was him.
And then he would, billionaire Donald Trump was at this party.
Billionaire Donald Trump before he was ever a billionaire.
He made himself a billionaire in people's eyes before he was ever a billionaire in real life.
And then once you're a billionaire in people's eyes, it's easy to become the billionaire because now you're in this, you're sitting down with these other billionaires.
And that is what Kanye is an absolute brilliant genius at.
And Trump is a genius at too.
It's a con, but they're genius at the con.
And Trump was able to build this massive business.
You know, when you see Trump on all these buildings, I'm not saying he doesn't own real estate.
He owns probably billions of dollars worth of real estate.
But a lot of these buildings are licensing deals.
It just says Trump because he's licensing the brand.
Yeah, I heard that.
It's not actually him owning the building.
He's a brilliant con man.
Amber Rose said that, too, though.
Ambrosia said it as well.
Rose said that what Trump says is, or how Trump is, Kanye probably sees himself in Trump.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So I think Kanye knows, I ain't the best at designing shit.
I ain't the best at rapping.
I'm nice as fuck at music.
And Trump, low-key, is probably nice as fuck when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
I bet you he's charming as hell when you actually meet him.
And I bet you he can get anybody that he's in front of to think that he's brilliant and to think that he knows it so much so that you'll just give him money, give him opportunity, give him whatever you want.
When he's on TV, it's undeniable.
You got to watch him.
Entertainment, raw entertainment.
Must see TV.
Must see TV anytime he's on TV.
You know what's interesting about the billionaire thing?
Yep.
You know what Forbes accuses the Kardashians of doing all the time?
Which is?
Inflating their net worth.
They said there were billionaires long before they were billionaires.
And then Forbes debunked it.
And I think now they actually are billionaires or something.
But like, they said Kanye's net worth was 2.3 billion or something.
And he was like, yeah, now it's higher, but whatever, guys.
I don't know what it is.
Now he's saying five on Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
What were you going to say, Al?
So the big takeaway I see from Kanye is that, yeah, I don't know what exactly mental disorder he suffers from, but he's not able to stay on one topic.
Like his brain just like jumps around from topic to topic to topic.
And Rogan was there to try to help him just like bring it back and focused on one thing.
But the main overall message, like if you are trying to stay along with what he's saying, it's very progressive.
Like he does think differently than the way we think.
Yeah, because he's bipolar.
He's mad.
What I would say is...
But he's been successful doing the things when he was talking.
He's progressive.
Yep.
So it's like, it's very hard to criticize someone who's more successful than you.
It's very difficult.
So I understand everything I say.
Just tell me to shut the fuck up because he's a billionaire.
I'm not.
What the fuck do I know?
Okay.
That being said, the reason why he switches topics, in my opinion, is because he ran out of bullshit to spew on that topic.
This is the typical Kanye conversation.
Listen, so when I'm thinking about designing, you know, sneakers, I went back to this very famous pianist, Jacques Van Blaud.
Have you heard of Jacques Van Blaud?
Of course you haven't heard of Jacques Manblaught, because none of us have heard of fucking Jacques Van Black.
Have you heard of Jacques Manbla?
Well, yeah, he once he wrote this one symphony when he was on his bed.
So I was thinking about a shoe that would kind of fit a bed.
And then I realized that beds, the most important thing about beds is sleep.
You know how valuable sleep is?
You know, a sleep doctor named Timothy Pancakes, he did this one study on sleep.
Are you familiar with the study of it?
No, of course you're not.
So he just speaks.
It's not how many hours you need.
It's actually only three, but then they kill them.
So you don't actually know the truth.
So it says he just, he has like Wikipedia, less than Wikipedia level knowledge.
You can just jump to link to link.
It's a lily pad.
He's bouncing to the next lily bit because he can't stay on that lily pad longer because it will expose who he is.
Who else talks like that?
Trump.
Who else never finishes a sentence?
Bro, you pointed it out.
You're like, yeah, they subtitles one of Trump's clips on Instagram.
It's unbelievable, bro.
How would you describe it?
It's like an AI, like computer-generated conversation.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just random words.
Just spewing out.
There's no sentence structure.
Nothing.
It just keeps on going.
And without subtitles, it's the most entertaining thing you ever listened to.
With the subtitles, you're like, I don't know if this guy knows how to finish the sentence.
But now it's like, how do you knock a person who says crazy shit?
Hey, I'm going to do this crazy thing.
You were looking at him like you're fucking retarded.
And then does the crazy thing.
People are thinking about it.
There's nothing he hasn't meant that he was going to.
You're crazy.
Yeah, but there's nothing he said that he was going to do that he hadn't.
I remember yet.
I would push back on that.
I think 99% of things that he says that he's going to do, he hasn't done.
Like, oh, I'm going to create a sustainable community of da-da-da.
I don't see this.
He's in the process of doing that.
We'll see it.
Like, so far, the only thing that he's done is made sneakers and sweaters and made great music.
Outside of that.
People were clowning him for the fashion shit.
Like, when he came out with his shirts early on, they're like, he's charging $100.
Fashion is a con, though.
And I do agree with that.
Right, yeah, sure.
But, like, they were calling him an idiot when it first came out.
And they were like, you're so stupid, you're selling these shirts for $100.
It just looks like it has holes in it.
Remember that?
And then it turned into a thing, and now people try to get it.
And I will say that, like, the fashion industry is just frauds.
Sure.
Like, everybody, there's a fraud.
And they know it's a house of cards, right?
They just know wherever the popularity lies, we're going to gravitate that way.
Like, these sneakers are cool.
Everybody makes a version of those sneakers.
This shirt is cool.
Everybody makes a version of that shirt, right?
You can literally see it happen.
It's like Balenciaga does something with sneakers, and all of a sudden, six months later, Zara has the version of it that is kind of a knockoff, and so does Skechers.
Right?
Like, right now, literally, right now, Balenciaga is making expensive Skechers.
Same thing with the Birkenbags.
Take that for one second.
We'll get into Birken a second, but think about that for a second.
Skechers, the sneakers none of us in this room would be caught dead wearing became popular as Balenciaga.
Yeah.
So I could see how a person who's an amazing con man would succeed in an industry that is a con.
Yeah.
I, again, I think.
Amazing musician.
I just want to point that out.
Amazing musician.
And Trump isn't music.
His is entertainment.
He's just an entertainer through and through.
Like you can't talk for an hour and a half in front of an audience with no script without being an incredible entertainer.
And they both have their amazing entertainment thing.
And they use the equity they have in that to spread into these other industries that they probably don't know anything about.
And you would probably argue that Trump is like exceptional in real estate too.
You could say that.
I don't think it's as ill-intentioned necessarily.
I don't think it's fully planned.
Again, we both have a friend.
He struggles with bipolarity.
I saw him go through it.
And I remember when he got out of the mental hospital, he said, if I didn't take meds and you let me just go, I would have created some unbelievable shit.
And we were like, what are you talking about?
He's not, he's like, nah, man, you don't understand when you're manic, you're just going and going and going and you're spewing and creating.
And like, some of that shit is going to be brilliant.
It just is.
Now, it's not worth the inevitable crash, but it's some of it's going to be brilliant.
And I don't think he intentionally lily pads.
I think he's internet educated and he's going and going and going.
He's taking one factoid from this thing and one factoid from that thing and one factoid from that thing.
But the guy is clearly crazy.
And I'm a religious guy, but I don't like when we're like, oh, God fixed that.
God can take care of whatever issues you have.
That's God.
No, God and science can go together, yo.
Yeah.
You can believe in God and still need meds.
And that's the thing.
Yeah.
His big turn towards religion right now, it seems a little, it's just new to me.
I'm not a religious person.
So like I get put off by that.
But it's like his motivation used to be becoming that dude, becoming the top dude, becoming rich, becoming like, now it seems like, okay, I already reached the top.
Billionaire Intentions Explained00:04:14
And so his main focus, everything he kept going back on is how can I improve society?
How can I help people?
I want to become the leader of the free world so I can help people.
I want to create this sustainable society so I can help people.
Like, and yeah, he hasn't helped anybody.
That's the thing.
It's like you could argue his family, his in-laws have actually hurt the world.
His focus was him first.
Now it just seems like his direction is helping people now.
Yo, give Big Sean back his masters, bro.
Give all your artists back their masters.
And that's the thing.
That's the thing.
You got to see it.
Like, only time will tell when it comes to him.
I do agree that, yes, he is a selfish person and he cares about himself first.
And then it's like this big talk.
But like right now, it seems a little genuine.
Yo, I'm being aware.
It seems like a genuine, crazy person.
I'm going to say something that might be wild.
I don't think he's a billionaire, bro.
No, he is.
They proved it.
Forb said it, so I believe it.
That's all I actually.
How do they prove it?
I'm curious.
It's like being worth.
It's an evaluation of the company, right?
Yeah.
That's what it is.
It's an evaluation of the company.
If he leaves that company, you think Yeezy's still worth anything?
But that's what I'm saying.
That's more said in evaluation.
You can say that about so many things.
He can cash out and then leave.
If the guy who owns Coca-Cola leaves Coca-Cola, we're still drinking Coca-Cola.
Yeah, but he's not just going to leave with nothing.
He's going to cash out and then leave.
I don't think anybody's paying $3 billion for Yeezy if Yeezy's not part of it.
So I think he stays on as something something has to stay on.
I don't think he could sell his company if he didn't get the $3 billion.
You can sell your Kylie stay on, though.
It does, but I'm saying I don't think he can actually access and hold those $3 billion.
And the only way he can is if he sells his company out there.
Well, he can sell some shares, though.
Yeah.
He could sell enough shares and then they keep him on an advisory role.
That's what he's doing.
And he's still associated with it.
Like, you know what I mean?
Jordan can't leave jump, man.
That'll make Jordan not a billionaire.
He could like sell equity and still stand on the board.
I think, like, Bill Gates did that shit.
I don't know if he's a billionaire, bro.
It just seems weird to me.
Like, why are you gonna, why are you gonna re-sign a 10 million dollar contract with Def Jam if you're a billionaire?
Like, y'all know how much money a billion dollars is, bro.
You're gonna bicker over it.
You have a billion dollars.
You're bickering with Def Jam over a $10 million contract.
Being worth something and having that is two different things.
That's he don't got a billion dollars.
That's what I'm saying.
Worth, he doesn't say that.
Yo, son, I'm worth a billion dollars.
I mean, what assets?
No, I'm worth it.
That's what I believe I'm worth.
I'm worth $10 billion.
My valuation is literally $100 billion.
$100 billion.
That's my valuation, bro.
I mean, I'm $100 billion.
Forbes agrees, I'll agree.
Why Forbes?
Who the fuck is Forbes?
You don't know.
There's somebody.
I'm worth $100 billion.
That's all I'm saying.
Like, we could all evaluate ourselves in whatever we want.
That makes you the second richest man on earth.
Who's the richest?
Bezos at $113.
I'm $114 billion.
I evaluate myself at that.
You want to buy me?
It's $114.
What just made it go up?
Bezos.
Finding that out about Bezos.
I thought I was clear.
The spike in the market.
Yo, I really thought that was clear, bro.
I guess my point is like, he's, I'm a billion dollar billionaire.
You can't access that billions.
I don't think that he could actually hold a billion cash.
I think he can get to it, but he doesn't have it now.
He can get to it.
So, what Kylie did, Kylie was a majority shareholder in that makeup line.
She marketed it.
It grew, and now it was worth more than a couple of billion.
And then she sold a big percentage of her stake, I think, for like 800 and something million dollars.
So she actually had that in cash.
And she still has to stay on to promote the makeup line to keep it going.
Can we piss before we move on?
Yes.
I just feel like Kanye is a genuinely crazy person who's actually sincere about the things that he says.
I think someone's crazy, though.
I don't think it's as ill-intentioned as you think.
I don't think it's as con artisty as you think.
I'll buy it.
I think he's a con artist.
I think he's got mental illness.
There's no doubt that he has mental illness.
But don't feel like you haven't seen this before.
Yeah, it's like we've seen this so many times and it's so calculated and everything is so.
But you know why people are against it now?
Why?
Because he's not rooting for black people anymore.
Oh, well, that's the other thing.
I think the only reason he got religious is to get black people back.
And I think he's like, what's the easiest way to get black people back?
Black people are very religious.
Black people are Christians.
I'm a rock with this Christianity thing.
I'm going to do it, you know, better than anybody.
How am I going to do Christianity?
Native Deodorant Aluminum Talk00:02:32
I'm going to do it with the thing I do it best music.
And then people are riding with it.
Everybody's excited about this.
You know, he was talking about the production value on that Jesus album.
And I was like, I vividly remember Alex saying it's not good production.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It wasn't, but his heart isn't in the music anymore.
My opinion.
Yeah.
You didn't like latent late registration?
Late registration is fantastic.
He's talking about his Jesus album.
The gospel.
The gospel orange.
I thought they're talking about Jesus.
God is King or whatever.
Anyway, we don't have to keep talking about Connie.
What were you going to say, Mark?
No.
Hey, we don't have to keep talking about Connie.
I'm just very skeptical of him.
And he had the perfect platform to really express how he feels and how misunderstood he was.
And Joe gave him all the fucking rope that he needed, bro.
Like, literally, like, hey, Joe gave him the benefit of the doubt with absolutely everything.
Yeah.
And to me, he wasn't convinced.
And the TMZ thing, Kanye said, Van tweeted, this is bullshit.
This is not what happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, all right, we're going to take a little break.
Our car's going to take a little pee.
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Okay.
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Okay.
I don't want you stinking.
I want you smelling beautiful, but at the same time, I don't want your pores all blocked up because for some reason they got aluminum inside of deodorant.
Why anybody would put aluminum inside deodorant is besides me?
Why would you put metal?
Is that a metal?
I don't know if it's a metal, but why would you put aluminum inside anything?
Aluminum is for cans, it's for bicycles, okay?
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Use native deodorant.
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That citrus herbal musk is a problem with the ladies.
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I might have busted that out for my engagement.
Chelsea Learns Woke Lesson00:07:37
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Let's get back to the show.
So what's the story?
So basically, Chelsea Handler was talking to Jimmy Fallon, and that's a conversation you got to hear.
I mean, who could miss that?
Jimmy Fallon and Chelsea Handler.
And she basically is like, I had to remind 50 Cent he's black in terms of like who he should vote for.
Because 50 tweeted out the thing, like 62% tax in New York.
I'm not going with that shit.
So Chelsea goes, I got to remind him that he's black.
Now, Chelsea, as a comic, because she used to be a stand-up, that's a joke.
But because she's woke Chelsea now and she's policing what people can or can't say or can or can't do, and she's not giving comedic license to other people, she is victim of the same scrutiny that she's giving those other people.
I think that's what's going on here.
If she was funny, I'm a drunk girl.
I fuck whoever I want.
I'm wild girl back in the day and said that.
Do you think she gets a single bit of pushback?
Yeah, but nobody cares.
It's like that pushback that nobody cares about.
People are national story.
Yeah.
Everybody's like, shut up.
It's almost like, oh, you don't understand Chelsea.
She just says wild shit, blah blah blah.
And that's funny.
I haven't paid any attention to her since she hasn't had a show on E or whatever.
So I still thought she was that person.
So you looked at it and you were like, yeah, that's her.
That's just her.
That's why it's like the story was like, nothing.
And because she even follows up trying to say some shit like, and I would fuck him up.
She didn't say it.
But she's like, I would do whatever it takes to get him to vote for Biden.
She's willing to fuck him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like as a joke, right?
And it's like, okay, yeah, that's that's what you're going for.
Some funny.
It's not the best joke in the world, but it's not bad.
It's fun.
It's like, yeah, you're having fun.
The pushback on this was crazy, which really shows how much people resent Chelsea for like going woke.
And why is it?
What?
Go ahead.
Yeah, go ahead.
What?
What was your question?
I don't know if you're statement.
I guess that's what I think the reaction is.
It's like people are so pissed off when woke people start to make jokes.
And I get that also, because it's like, hold up.
You're going to attack the people I like when they make jokes, and then you're going to think you're going to make the same jokes whenever you want.
That's not going to happen.
And I do appreciate that on some level.
I understand where that comes from.
You're like, don't be Mrs. Joke about race all of a sudden and then be woke as fuck.
Didn't she do that show on Netflix?
What was it called?
Like, which one?
Where she learns not to be racist or some shit?
She did like a series.
Oh, Chelsea Learns or something.
I think she like went to Andy.
She did do something like, it was Chelsea that did that?
Yeah.
I mean, it's crazy to see her fall off once she went woke.
Like that turn, once you go woke, you go broke.
Like, Al just stopped listening to her once she stopped making fun of like short Mexicans.
Remember when she had that guy, Chewy?
Was it Chewy on the show?
That guy was hilarious.
Yo, he took, he must have written for her or some shit, bro.
Like, he took all her funny, bro to the grave, dog.
Bring back Chewie.
That's what she needs.
That's why she don't want the wall.
That's why she hates Trump.
She's looking for a new Chewy.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Chewie could have probably fit underneath the wall.
Underneath, but he's not climbing that shit.
No, Oh, my God.
Now we understand it.
Why are you saying that she's woke, though?
Like, she's never.
I thought back in the day, she was absolutely hilarious.
I mean that sincerely.
Like, I thought as an interviewer, she was excellent.
I didn't really watch, to be honest with you.
I would watch it.
I think she was funny.
She was funny, dude.
I thought she was throwing funny.
Why do you think she's not the same anymore, though?
It seems to me, I haven't really been following her that much, but it seems the public sentiment around Chelsea is like, shut the fuck up.
You're like some woke girl that like switched up.
Yeah.
In her like most recent tweet, she's just on Twitter.
Like, this is what Trump's doing in a pandemic.
Vote him out to save humanity.
I just don't know what they think they're doing.
Like, why do actors keep tweeting about politics?
Clearly, it doesn't work.
Nobody cares that you have to say Trump won four years ago.
And now you're tweeting more?
Like, it helps?
I think there is a certain politics you have to have to exist in Hollywood.
And we're like detached from that, right?
Because we don't realize that there might literally have an in-crowd in Hollywood.
And they might really believe that they could dictate the pace of the cultural conversation by the movies and TV shows that they make.
They might overvalue their importance a little bit.
And so they're like, oh, you don't have the right politics.
You're not going to be involved in these conversations.
Maybe that's why once you go woke, you go broke when it happens.
Not that it always does, but when it happens, it's like, yo, we see through this.
Like, stop trying to push this shit on me.
Can I just watch a fucking movie, please?
Can I just be entertained without you pushing this on me?
Fuck this movie.
I'm not watching.
Also, we don't like being lied to, bro.
If we feel like someone's lying to us, we'd feel a way about it.
And I think this is why people reacted poorly a lot of times to when actors would come out as gay after they were famous.
It's not like, oh, I hate gay people.
It's like, oh, I thought I knew you.
Yeah.
And now you're not the person I thought I, so I don't even know who you are.
Like, I can't say I love you.
Like, I don't know you.
I think, don't get me wrong, there was tons of homophobia and people probably using whatever.
But I think there was a certain part that was like, oh, dude, like, whoa, like when you find out Ross ain't Ross.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
When you find out like your, like, your favorite character isn't who they actually are.
When you find your favorite actor as an asshole, you're like, oh, you're not the guy that I thought you were.
Not that being gay is negative or whatever.
But it's like, oh, I thought you were this this whole time.
I thought I knew you.
Turns out I don't know you at all.
Ellen.
Right?
The biggest pushback in the world is about Ellen is because everybody really thought, wow, you're like this sweet person that you make me feel good.
You make me feel happy.
I'm glad that you're trying to be nice to people.
And then you find out you're just a bitch.
Everybody knows that interaction with Ellen that went bad was like really bothered by it.
And I think it's expectation in reality.
Expectation was so like high for Ellen.
And she was just kind of bitchy.
Yeah.
I like to work at the Ellen show.
You used to work there?
No, I wanted to.
You want to?
Because it looked like a funk.
Before.
Because it looked like a fun cool.
You surprising people out of nowhere.
But what if?
I still don't know the whole thing with this whole Ellen thing.
Because what if the is a sensitive people that don't like to be scared?
Because that's what it seems like she scared a lot of people.
That's what the whole thing is.
No, no, no, no.
Taylor, she's not mean to the guests.
Yo, what Taylor's referring to, anybody's listening is you know how like Ellen scares people on the show?
Yeah, so she thought all this drama about Ellen was yeah, but she thinks this whole drama is that people from the show is like, I don't like being scared, you know, jumping out of nowhere.
I don't get an horrible work environment.
That's really, I carry coffee sometimes.
Yo, white Taylor is crazy, bro.
What's crazier?
White Taylor or Piri Taylor?
White Taylor or Red Taylor?
What's crazy?
Red Taylor?
You do not want fucking red Taylor is on the bus.
That was like the red wedding right there.
That's red wedding, bro.
That's red wedding.
It's like a massacre.
Red Taylor's around.
It's a massacre.
It's like the father Malbeck that went in Al's foot.
That red, yo, I don't know.
Red Taylor Massacre Story00:03:33
Any other thoughts about this whole Chelsea shit?
Because it seemed to be such a big story.
Why do you think?
I don't know.
I think it was just good fodder for people that it was like this liberal white woman telling black people what they had to do.
I think white people are having their comeuppance.
I think this is their, this is their, they're getting their punishment for skating by on their privilege and just letting y'all throwing y'all under the bus.
On the heels of Bill Bird calling white chicks out.
I think that was the beginning of that's the beginning.
This is the tipping point.
Now you're going to start to see it.
Yeah.
Chelsea goes on late night and is like, black guys, you got, she goes, I got to remind him he's black.
As if like, you got some white girl shit to do.
Poor Al can't even have sex with a white woman without her reminding him all the time.
Shit.
You know what's funny is when people watch clips of this and they see you in full white face and you guys in white face and they have no clue why I found it.
And we're just talking about random shit.
Like Kanji's not really worth $3 billion.
No context whatsoever to what's going on.
You look smarter though.
Well, thanks, guys.
All right, what else we got, man?
Emily Radakowski.
How do you say a fucking name?
Oh, yeah.
Y'all care about it?
I was thinking about it.
She's pregnant.
She's trying to go woke again.
She's got Emily retired.
What is that?
Blurred Lines, bitch?
Yeah.
She's all right.
Honestly, I felt the way we call the pregnant woman a bitch right there.
Maybe I'm getting sensitive.
I felt away, dog.
She's pregnant.
Back when she was in Blurred Lines, she was that bitch.
She's the fuck out of here with that soul.
Get out of here.
You are so woke now.
I'm supposed to call her a fat bitch, not a pregnant woman.
There you go.
Let's go.
No, in all seriousness, she did this whole video, I guess, with Vogue where she's talking about how she's one of the lines is, I'm not going to say the gender of my baby, and we're not going to talk about that until the baby's 18 and she can decide what she is herself.
Yeah, or yeah, the baby tells us.
She didn't even say he or she.
Why you need to share that with people, bro?
Exactly.
Like, all that is performative, right?
Like, yeah.
Like, nobody asked you.
Isn't it an open letter, which is the most bullshit thing?
Yeah, right?
Like, but no one asked.
You ain't got a diary, bitch.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you know what?
That's like the exact opposite.
Did you guys see the Tyson Tyson ending up?
I've heard about this.
I saw the clip on Charlamagne.
I want to talk about that too.
This is like the opposite of that because Boosie is like, hey, you shouldn't let your child say they're a different gender at that age or whatever the case is.
And Tyson's was telling him, like, yo.
Are you gay?
I believe, I agree with you, but who the fuck are you to say that?
Like, it's none of your fucking business.
And like, Tyson's telling him, like, Joe, just shut up.
Keep that shit to yourself because what you said is now hurting other people.
And it's not, you have no base to say that comment.
And this is the same thing that's happening with her.
It's like, yo, if you decide to grow your kid up that way, keep that shit to yourself.
Yeah.
Keep that shit to yourself.
Like, because nobody asks.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
But no one asks.
That's why it's a problem.
If somebody asks and you're responding to that question, like if there's a questionnaire and you're like, yeah, we're not going to say the gender because like, yo, we believe in trans stuff and like the baby might be something else.
So we're not going to put it on him.
Right.
Good luck finding gender neutral baby clothes because that shit is pink or blue.
Nah, they make yellow, and that's supposed to be the gender neutral.
I thought you were going to say something racist.
I thought you were going to say my babies identifies as Asian.
That's racist, though, that the shit that looks Asian is gender neutral.
You can't tell.
Oh, that's a little racist, yo.
That's a little racist.
Whoa, take that, Emily Ratatouille.
That is interesting.
But that is interesting, though.
Yeah.
Asian Gender Neutral Racism00:08:28
Because the Boosie interesting, the Boosie interview is fascinating because I wonder if Mike is the only person that could get away with the things he was saying to Boosie.
I know.
I was wondering.
And literally, and I think there's a specific reason why Mike could get away with it.
At one point, he goes, is the reason why you disparage gays because you think you might be homosexual?
Yes.
Mike saying that to Boosie, and that you feel like if you basically shit all over gays, then people won't know that you're actually gay.
And he goes, no, I don't think you're gay.
I'm just wondering if you think that could be one of the issues.
He's like, nah, no, I'm just not about that Dwayne Wade's kid shit.
If anybody else says that to Boosie, they're probably getting shot.
Yeah.
I think the reason why Mike can say it is not because Boosie's worried about what Mike would do to him.
I think that when Mike says something to you that is disparaging to your masculinity, he is such a potentially terrifying human being that we allow somebody like that to speak to us in whatever way they want.
And it's not seemed like you're a pussy for not standing up for yourself.
Oh, so your reputation is not at stake.
Your reputation.
Like if I said that to Boosie, his reputation is like, oh, you're just going to let him talk to you like that?
If Mike says it, it's like, yeah, you just let Mike say that.
Mike can say whatever he wants.
That's Mike.
That's fascinating.
I wonder if Mike is so badass.
If he is the baddest motherfucker on the planet, that he's the best man on the planet, right?
That was his name, right?
Real talk.
If he is.
He's the alpha myth.
By being baited at him, it doesn't even look that.
We're not even looking down on him.
It's like getting eaten by a bear.
It's like, what you gonna do?
What do you think was gonna happen?
It's like, according to this guy, he can outrun a bear.
No, I would juke it.
I would juke it.
Could you outrun Mike Tyson?
I could outrun Mike Tyson.
Come on.
He's 53 years old, Sony.
He's 53 years old.
If you see him in a damn son, I can't see him in the dark.
If he gets me, it's over.
If he gets me, it's over.
I'll bite his ear.
I'm biting, bro.
You started it.
That's what I'll tell Mike.
I'll circumcise that shit.
You got too much load.
Outrunning a bear isn't that hard either.
Outrunning an alligator.
Outrunning a bear is not that hard?
Yeah.
Just like outrunning an alligator.
Is that what you said?
Those are very different animals.
I just don't know.
Have you ever seen a bear or an alligator in real life?
Taylor runs track for two years.
First of all, you can outrun a bear.
Wait, time out.
Let's get it.
Now, are you talking about a fat gay or are you talking about a bear?
And are you disparaging because you like?
Let's get clear.
I haven't run a trap since I was six years old.
Anyways, I will snatch you out the fucking hour.
I feel like a bear's not that.
I don't know.
For some reason, I just feel like a bear's not that fast.
Yeah, you feel that way until they start.
Yeah, but I feel you like a fish.
A lion was catch up to me than a bear.
That's what's terrible.
And the difference between a bear, though, and a lion is scary.
You can't run up a tree with a bear because a bear could just get you there then, too.
Lion, too.
You think lions don't run up trees?
Yeah, where do cats get stuck?
Where do cats get tight?
That's a good ass question.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That's a good ass point that he just put together right there.
That's a scoreboard that you got right there.
Take that.
You got white knighted.
Yeah.
What?
Bear.
I mean, I said bear.
Taylor, what was the fastest you were able to run?
Fastest.
Just whatever.
Like, what was your top speed?
I mean, top speed.
You think she got a speedometer on her?
I don't know.
Don't they fucking dashboard?
What's the dashboard?
It's time for a race.
It's not time.
In 100, I ran 11.6.
In 200, I ran 25.5.
And wait a minute.
Did you just describe your boyfriend's dick in inches a centimeter?
Was that pretty accurate?
Someone looked that up and say, I was at Euros dick, bro.
That might have been close.
Oh, dude.
There's much erases, though.
All right.
All right, though.
All right.
All I'm trying to say is I don't know how we got to that.
Here's how I'm going to go.
Another thing is like, if you're the thug, if you're the hard dude who's been through some shit, Mike has been through it too.
He's like, it's like a soldier talking to a soldier.
You know what I mean?
Like, Mike didn't have guns, but Mike was in the streets.
Mike was acting reckless.
Mike was fighting.
Mike was in all that shit.
So whatever you're going through, he's been through.
It's like an OG talking to you a little bit.
Like, maybe he didn't have guns the way you have guns, maybe.
I don't know.
But like, Mike is a warrior who has been through it all.
So when he says that shit, you're talking to somebody who's been through it and come out the other side.
Yeah, it's like he's not clout chasing when he's saying that shit to you.
You got the clout.
He's already clouted.
There's nothing more that he needs to do to solidify himself as a bad motherfucker.
So when he says that to you, you're right.
It's OG'd.
It's almost like advice.
He's not trying to insult you for views.
He's having a real conversation.
He's been through.
He's been further than me.
Where it's like, if another person says something disrespectful, it could be to kind of like scoop out some of your masculinity and add it to his pile.
Does that make sense?
Like, if I, if I body you, now I look bigger because of what I did to you.
Right.
He doesn't need to look bigger.
And you also, you haven't been through what I've been through.
You know what the fuck you're talking about.
Mike been through it all.
So Mike talks to you.
That's somebody who's been through what you've been through.
And now he's talking to you on the other side.
And it's like, oh, okay.
It's like your grandparent almost giving you advice or your uncle or whatever.
He did an interview in the breakfast club and he clearly didn't have no respect for the breakfast club because now he answered Boosie about the Dwayne thing.
Oh yeah, what do you say?
He was just like, I don't give a fuck.
I don't apologize about what I said, blah, blah, blah.
And then you go on with Tyson and he's just like, he's just more chill and calm.
Like he wasn't like.
Yeah, it's a different.
You in there with a beast, bro.
You in there with a whole bear, bro.
Yeah, so he walked in there.
Oh, you go.
No, I saw I did some math, but if you want to finish your point, okay, but I got some math on Taylor's bear.
Yeah, yeah.
On Taylor's bear quest.
Okay, so Taylor, wait, what was your 100-meter?
How many seconds?
11.6.
11.6.
You were going about 20 miles per hour.
There's no fucking way you ran 20 miles per hour.
For 100 meters?
That's why can't I?
Yeah, why?
A bear's top speed, a polar bear is about 22.
Oh, so as he'll catch up to you.
So you could outrun a polar bear, technically.
So Taylor has a good point.
She can outrun a bear.
It works.
The fact that you work.
You just said that polar bear is faster.
Yeah, but you could technically outrun it because that's...
Actually, technically, she cannot.
Yeah, technically.
There is a world in the woods.
Her acceleration is faster.
By the definition of technical, she cannot.
Was it on this podcast that I said that I like throwing hard things at Mark?
Sometimes I fuck.
I gave you all permission to throw hard.
Throw that ace of spade bottles.
I'm leaving Mark, bro.
Shatter it and cut my foot again.
He really thinks he's slick.
No, he really thinks he's slick sitting between the expensive ass cameras that I bought.
Because if he wasn't, if he was situated right over there where there's nothing but some soundboards, shout out to Overtone.
That motherfucker would get pegged.
Taylor can run 20 miles.
We can't have two kings going at it like this.
We can't have two kings.
Yeah, we can't.
We Kangs.
Yeah, you Kangs, yo.
Bro, Taylor's got 20 miles an hour on the dash.
Can we do a 100-yard dash?
There's no way in hell that Taylor runs 20 miles per hour.
Taylor versus Andrew, 100 yards.
Time out.
Why can't I run that?
Can we do a 100-yard dash, please?
Taylor.
No, for a while.
You probably got all the space between your legs from where your boyfriend's dick has been.
She caught a mad wind up in there.
It's slowing you down.
A lot of air resistance.
He's trying to say something that I don't know what he's saying.
I was trying to get mad space between your legs.
This guy's about to say this wild shit.
What's going on?
You got mad space between your legs.
Your boyfriend didn't widen it out.
He can't even run straight from your body.
I'm saying you can't run the way you used to run.
Now you walk like a cow, girl.
Okay, I probably don't run how I used to run back in college, but I did run that shit.
I don't know if you did, yo.
Yeah, I don't know.
You think you can outrun it, bro?
I'll bring my trophies in next time.
I could outrun you in the hallway right now.
Oh, we can go.
You want it in my militaries?
Do you want them on my military boots?
No, in all seriousness, we might have to do this.
You really need to take Taylor 100 meters?
Without a doubt.
So we got to do that.
Okay, we're outrunning on her boots, yo.
Yo, honestly, we should get Wax on the phone because I run him too.
No, you're not.
You did it?
You already raced?
You know how many times I took his phone and he tried to chase me and didn't get me?
That's different than a foot race.
Yeah, that's more like that.
Why?
He still can't.
Wax is playing football and everything.
He couldn't catch me.
Say something about him.
He's saying Wax is gay.
Yeah, the question is.
Sexuality?
Why would you put that on?
I bet he'd catch me if I was a dude.
Dressed like this.
He'd get it.
Tight ass pants, Spandex.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need y'all to think sharper.
Dominant UFC Fighter Analysis00:06:23
Okay.
Simple as that.
A lot of y'all are not thinking as sharp as you possibly could.
And that's because you're not on that NeuroRoute.
You guys were listening a few episodes ago.
We were all rooted up in the episode's absolute banger.
We were plugged in.
The Neurorout is going to optimize your brain, give you energy that coffee gives you.
It's got the caffeine in it.
And it's also got that B6.
I think it's B6.
How is it B6?
Probably B6.
One of them B's.
It's one of them B's.
Point is, it gives you that energy of coffee, but it doesn't give you that crash.
It makes you sharp, makes you pointed.
If you got something important you got to do, you got a test that you got to take.
You got a Zoom combo you got to be on.
You're going to pass out.
You just need to focus and pay attention.
You just get rooted.
Tooted and rooted.
That's what we're doing.
Simple as that.
And you know what?
You're going to get a deal.
You're going to get a deal with us so you can be your best self, the most optimized you possibly can be.
You know, you girl had a long day.
You don't even have to listen to a boring ass fucking story.
All you got to do is get rooted.
Okay.
Neuroroot.com.
And then you use the promo code Flagrant.
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Now, I know you guys are doing it because a few weeks ago, when we told you about Neuroot, you know what happened?
Literally the next day, it sold out.
We sold out of all the pills.
Pills do not require that much storage.
That's how much y'all bought it.
So it must work.
Go back there.
Get it again.
It's made by our good buddies over there at Raddick.
So you know that there's good quality stuff and you know it's supported by a good company.
Now let's get back to the show.
All right.
All right.
What else we got, man?
Oh, we got to talk about Khabib, man.
Speaking of bears and wrestling, fuck, what a transition.
Hey, bro.
I was brilliant on it.
Okay, so Khabib fights this weekend.
Okay.
He easily beats Justin Gaetchy.
Gates, which is supposed to be his toughest fight yet.
Supposed to be his toughest fight yet.
Dominating fashion.
I saw it.
It was wild.
Unbelievable.
Shouts to Justin Gatesy.
That dude is just an amazing guy.
Like, he just seems like so much fun.
He's like a golden doodle.
Like, he just has this great energy.
He literally said afterwards, he was like, Yeah, getting choked out isn't that bad.
You just have a nice little dream.
Then you wake up, not that much damage.
Like, he was dead for a second, bro.
Like, done.
Yeah.
So, but, like, he's just got this great attitude about it.
Khabib retires.
Yeah.
29-0.
Has, I think, lost two total rounds in his career.
Never bled.
Never bled.
That's so fucking crazy.
In a sport where you can throw elbows.
Yeah.
And keep this in mind also.
Never bled.
And his style is not like stick and move.
No, he wrestles.
He is, there's tons of skin-to-skin content.
He could get a headbutt.
He could get a random elbow.
Never fucking bled.
Not even like nicked your nose.
Like, you ever like bump your nose and you have a nosebleed?
All the time.
Yeah, like if I was pointed.
Okay, just like your nose.
You ever shut the door and accidentally catch your nose?
You ever propose to your girl?
You try to open the block and then that shit hits you right in your fucking nose.
Now you have a big diamond.
Know it.
Okay.
In all seriousness, the conversation right now is: is he the most dominant fighter in UFC history?
And John Jones has a claim to the throne, obviously, because he defended, I think, or has been in like 15 title, whatever defenses.
And not only defenses, I think some, I think he had to vacate the belt and then come back, but he still came back and fought for the belt.
So 15 total.
Right.
Right.
Khabib is four, so those numbers are dwarfed by John Jones.
That being said, Khabib has been more dominant.
There's been like questionable matches for John Jones.
Nothing has been even close with Khabib or Habib or whatever is pronounced.
I think the more interesting discussion is: is the lightweight division more entertaining now?
Without Khabib?
Yeah.
Was his dominance and reign so superior that it started to become uninteresting?
Right?
Like, we were excited about this Justin Gacy fight.
We're like, this guy is a wrestling pedigree.
He was a Division I wrestler.
He was getting some shots off on Khabib.
He got a couple shots and Justin Gacy hits hard.
Yeah.
And Khabib just ate them shit.
Ate them shit.
Easy light work.
I think the division is actually more exciting.
I think the UFC is more exciting without Khabib.
And there's no knock on Khabib.
I mean, he's absolutely amazing and put him up there as the GOAT because he dominated in a way that John Jones just didn't dominate.
That being said, we want some chance.
One of the great things about MMA is that there's chance.
One guy could get clipped and goes down.
He was so dominant that he eliminated chance.
Yeah.
I'll be honest.
UFC makes more money when Conor McGregor is the champion.
And the fact that Connor McGregor has a chance to fight for the title next, and I'm not even the biggest Connor fan per se.
I just recognize his entertainment value.
It's Trump level entertainment.
No matter what he's involved in, it's going to be entertaining.
Sell your shitty whiskey.
Entertaining as fuck.
We don't care.
The fact that he has a chance to fight for it and he's fighting against guys he can beat.
He can beat Dustin Pooria because he beat him before.
Right?
The Gacey fight would be really interesting, but I think he could beat Gacey.
He could beat Tony Ferguson.
There's a new guy, Michael Chandler, and I don't know that much about him.
All I'm saying is, MMA just got more interesting.
How often is it that your most dominant champion leaves and it gets even better?
Mayweather left boxing.
We haven't watched a boxing match since.
I asked somebody, Fury Wilder was the last fight we cared about.
Outside of Fury Wilder.
That's it.
Since Floyd retired, that's the only thing.
Boxing is fucking a snooze fest without Floyd.
Yeah.
And MMA is exploding.
And I actually think this is the right thing for MMA.
What are you guys' thoughts on this?
I don't know as much about the overall division necessarily, but this is my first Khabib fight, and that was fucking, I've never seen anything like that.
Boxing or MMA.
Just like the way he kept coming in.
Who was the guy that fucked Canalo two or three times?
And Triple G. Triple G.
Yeah.
Gennetti Golufkin.
Yes.
And I remember he would just eat punches.
From Kazakhstan.
Fucking Sasha Baron.
This was like that, but even more so.
Khabib just ate every punch and then just kept coming.
Apparently fought with two broken toes and a broken foot in his bone.
Oh, that was the other thing.
And then his chokehold submission, he did as an act of mercy to Gage because he heard Gagey would never tap out.
And he's like, well, if I do this arm bar or whatever, I will break his arm.
So let me just put him asleep and win.
Because his parents were watching.
His parents were watching.
I've never seen anything like this.
I wish I had watched all of his fights.
Now I'm like, I'm sad he's retiring because I'm like, oh, I would have watched every fucking fight you did from now on.
Yeah, but imagine the fact that he's this fucking dominant at UFC.
Khabib Mercy Submission Act00:13:16
Like, he's going to be the best Muslim.
Like, dude, next level Muslim.
The discipline.
Oh, my God, bro.
Wow.
The world needs to be afraid now.
That's what I'm saying.
If I'm Khabib's wife, I'm like, oh, he has no outlet.
Oh, but Islam is the outlet, bro.
Son, he's going to have a fucking fight on his forehead from slamming his prayers down, bro.
Throwing those rocks at Satan, just whipping them as hard as he fucking can.
Real talk, man.
That's an intense.
Can you be of like Islamic and fight?
I thought that's against the religion.
Nah, they have jihadis, bro.
Like, that's like part of the religion that, like, well, do we just kill motherfuckers sometimes, right?
Not sometimes, like, in an act of defense.
Do you know what I mean?
And I guess maybe you could look at, like, hey, this person is attacking me, and therefore, I can defend myself against this person.
Yeah, but it's like for sport.
Like, or maybe you look at it as a thing of sport.
And because it's for sport, the purpose is not to kill that person.
But Muslims have been fighting, though.
That's like, they love to fight, right?
Like, the Crusades, fucking other shit.
Yeah, it wasn't your guys' fault.
It was all the Muzzies, bro.
Definitely, you guys had nothing to do with that.
That's my point.
They didn't like bend over.
They're like, nah, we'll fight.
Oh, because you're saying like Christians are like, we'll turn the other cheek.
Yeah, like of the religions.
Like, if a Buddhist was like, if the best fighter was a Buddhist, I'd be like, oh, that's kind of weird.
Oh, the best fight.
That's interesting.
No, I mean, the best fighter is like, if, like, there's like a devout Christian, I'd be like, that's not as weird, but you know, still a little weird.
A Hindu fighter, I'd be like, that's impossible.
That will confuse the fuck out of me.
Not a single person selected Dalsim a Street Fighter, bro.
I don't even know why they had him in the open selection.
Just put another fucking brother of Ryu up there.
We got two Ryus.
There's Red Ryu and fucking Ryu.
This is Ken.
Watch your fucking mouth.
I don't appreciate that shit.
Like, I don't think it's weird.
Like, here that, like, a Muslim is like the number one fighter.
I'm like, man, I get it.
These are fighting people.
They're tough.
Interesting.
To me, it's like you're another Irish guy's a top fighter.
I thought you were close to being a little bit muzzy phobic.
What's Muzzy Pobe about saying they're good at fighting?
You think they're not good fighters?
I wasn't sure.
Bro, if you think they're not good fighters, that's complimentary.
Are you calling them pussy, bro?
That's the thing.
You're complimenting me.
That's the same thing that Muslims are kids.
That's okay.
I think they can fight.
I think they can fight.
Okay.
I'm not going to make any cartoons if that's what you're doing.
That's my point.
Okay.
I will draw Jesus before I draw the prophet.
Okay.
I know that's your point.
All right.
I'm going to look through your doodles and I'm going to share them on Instagram.
Wait, what doodles?
You've been doodleing, bro.
You got nervous.
What kind of doodles?
What kind of doodles?
You know what kind of doodles?
He is French.
Oh, Justui.
Shut the fuck up.
Charlie?
No, I would not say that.
Just we, Charlie, is that all they do?
I kind of disagree with you because.
But also, fuck those guys, too.
Charlie Hebdo.
I mean, like, I don't know about it, but so far.
They're not antagonistic.
It's like, bro, it's like, no, they don't want you to fucking draw the cartoon or the pro like.
How hard is that to?
It's there.
You don't go shoot them up, though.
You don't shoot them up.
It's the same thing.
You never shoot them up.
That's the wrong thing to do.
It's always wrong.
It's always wrong.
But after you get shot up, then don't draw an angel.
That's not what you did, dude.
Right?
Like, you learned your lesson.
You shouldn't bully kids, but if a kid comes to shoot up to school, ain't no more bully.
How much school do you think happened after Columbine?
Six months stretch.
Less?
Much less.
At least less.
That whole generation of kids didn't get bullied.
They were loving lies.
They're probably way weirder kids than that.
Every nerd was just grabbing pussies and slapping pits, bro.
That's all they were doing.
Grabbing pussies and slapping things.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what they did.
They came in the next day.
Those nerds, next day, school is open.
They were just grabbing pussies and slapping things.
That's the thing.
No one ever talks about that.
No, they don't.
They were scared, dude.
They were fucking frightened.
The second you say a single thing about buck teeth or whatever like that, come in the next day with that trench.
I'll show you something, Buck.
Yeah.
Oh, I love your trench coats.
Beautiful.
Where'd you get it?
Yeah, a lot of those conversations.
A lot of those conversations.
Lovely fedora.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing about that.
They wear fedoras, bro.
I'm just assuming that.
That's a crazy thing to kill.
Is it the 1920s that they were killing people?
Bro, that's not Dick Tracy.
What do you think Columbine looked like?
They pull up in one of those.
They're looking at you, kid.
They rob the bank.
I don't know.
Like, I don't remember that shit.
All I'm saying is.
Respect the Muzzies, all right?
Mashallah, is that what you say?
Mashallah, yeah, dude.
You see him backpedaling.
I was thinking about all the shit that could happen.
Could pop off.
Yeah, you could have got hepdo.
You did something wrong, but I could have got hepdo.
I didn't do anything wrong.
You could have got hepdo, but you because you've been doodling.
I see what you do.
I've never doodled.
All you said was you drive this.
You said you were drawing your Uber driver.
That's what you said.
That's a different Muhammad.
It might be, but we don't know.
It's a different.
That's a different one.
You don't know what he looks like.
If they see a picture that says this is Muhammad at the bottom, they don't know if that's five stars.
They don't know.
They don't know if that picked you up and brought you the word.
It is, though.
You don't know, bro.
We don't know.
Why didn't Charlie Hebdo just do that?
Yeah.
Yo, this is an Uber driver.
Why didn't they just say that?
Yeah.
Just to clarify.
That's a good ass point, yo.
I'm saying that being said, don't do it.
You can't do it.
You can't shoot people for cartoons.
Yeah.
But also, you don't have to antagonize.
You don't have to draw it.
You know what I mean?
See what I'm saying?
Well, you also don't have to draw it.
It's like the N-word.
You just don't do it.
Yo, how?
Yeah, exactly.
Some white people can't just accept these boundaries.
Yo, what?
Is this Charlie Hebdo just dropped the M-bomb in every single fucking thing?
Oh, no, they won't do that.
Oh, they won't do that.
Isn't that interesting?
You won't just write the N-word all over your cartoons.
Isn't that interesting?
Because you know, you get popped in your fucking mouth, right?
Or you know, you want to win another World Cup.
That's why you don't drop that fucking M-bomb.
I see how it is, Charlie Hebdo.
Yeah.
So, Khabib, yo, what if Muslims are right and they got to go to heaven, bro?
The Hebdo people, and they got to be like, oh, fuck, dude.
We were accurate as like, if they only knew how accurate it would feel, it's disrespectful.
All right, for real, let's go.
What you're going to say about Khabib?
I'm sorry to say that.
You're right.
Your religion's right, Mark.
Don't worry.
You're going to go to heaven.
Yeah.
Why are you laughing at me?
Why'd you laugh, Taylor?
White people can go to heaven too.
Yeah.
Yo, that's fucked up.
Funny.
Why can't white people go to heaven?
Don't do that.
Yo.
Just because we live on heaven on earth, too, don't mean we can't turn it on.
Yeah, the sequel.
Yeah.
We just pull up to heaven, like, yay, yay.
You get to heaven, you're like, this shit, man, regular.
Wi-Fi lost his body.
Wait, everybody's equal?
What the fuck?
Earth is way better, bro.
Yo, what if heaven's a letdown for whites?
Oh, shit.
That's crazy.
Man, the show pressure is mad regular.
I don't know if I could be here like that.
Come on now.
Everybody in your neighborhood.
I think heaven is whatever you think it's like.
So people that like don't want to be surrounded by white people, I think it's all black.
Nah, you ain't gonna get that.
We're gonna be there.
We're gonna be there.
Only way we're not.
Property value, Mad Lowe and your heaven tailor.
Wait, you think everyone's black in heaven?
I think my mind's her heaven is whiteless.
Wait, do we turn black?
Her heaven is her and her homies kicking at nobody.
I don't know.
I just think our mind is powerful.
And I think whatever we think, that's what's going to happen.
Devil lives in a segregated heaven.
Ain't that fucked up, yo?
Ain't that fucked up out here, yo?
That's not heaven, though.
You're not even gonna be in heaven together.
We can't be in heaven together.
We're above white people in my heaven.
Oh, that's fucked up, bro.
I'm sorry.
That's disrespectful.
What does that mean?
Why is that disrespectful?
Why is that not?
Why is it not?
How is that not disrespectful?
You said that black people are above white people.
You're in heaven.
What are we supposed to do?
We're supposed to attend the fields.
We supposed to.
What?
Yeah.
What's going on?
Just about your passion for shit.
We're supposed to play sports and shit.
What the fuck are we supposed to do?
We're supposed to be rappers.
What's going on?
You're heaven.
Yeah, your heaven sucks.
I don't like your heaven.
That's so unfair.
So perfect.
Can I tell y'all something?
Can I tell y'all something?
Yes.
This real side note.
Me and my friends.
No, there's a podcast going on.
I know, but me and my friends.
We're talking about that.
I would love you to be a debate moderator.
Yo, y'all are crazy.
Y'all are crazy.
Let me tell y'all it.
Cousin, right?
That was me and my cousin we're gonna talk about going to hell.
You're a Gemini.
I'm a Gemini, too.
Isn't that so weird?
Yo, my boyfriend's dick is so big.
Someone get me a more comfy set.
All right, go.
No, I was gonna say, if we're gonna talk about like segregation and everything else, right?
Why you always want to talk about segregation?
Yeah, this is the most diverse podcast on the planet, and you're just trying to segregate.
What if you learn?
You're describing her heaven, bro.
I know.
Let's talk about your segregated heaven.
All right, go.
So, look, so we had this bomb-ass soul food, right?
Yeah, like bomb.
And I was, and we were like mad high.
We made it.
You know who made it.
Chinese people.
White people.
No, white people made it.
No, it was black.
Oh, don't play with me.
No, it was black owned.
White people were working for it.
White people were cooking up.
That's just like your heaven.
Yeah.
There won't be no seasoning on it.
Y'all can't cook for us.
Yes, we can.
We know how to cook.
Not in white slave heaven.
That's all they had to do is get the shit out of you.
Oh, yeah.
Who's going to cook the food in that?
Y'all probably can't cook for shit in black heaven, to be honest.
That's a good ass point.
Because y'all been getting all the good food.
You don't got to season it none.
It's all fresh.
White people are getting the scraps.
And we don't have the best food in your heaven.
You're going to have to come to all restaurants in your heaven to eat.
Oh, shit.
Damn.
Yeah.
Put that thing down, flipped it.
And reversed it.
Yeah.
Okay, go.
Now, how are you going to make it your heaven?
Yo, me and my crackers, we're going to be up in heaven.
We're going to be doing cool ass cracker shit.
Yo, they're going to be the cool people.
Yeah.
Yo, man, they're going to have all the same dope-ass slang and shit.
Well, the point of the man, go on.
I was just saying, we were really high, right?
And I was thinking, like, damn, this is what they were cooking in slavery.
Like, I want to have what?
Wow.
I realize how it comes out now that I'm saying, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
I don't even stop midway through.
I love Taylor Flagrant.
Taylor Flagrant is lit.
Again, the clip that's here, no context.
Why we're all in white space.
Why has Taylor got a condom on her head?
What's going on?
Yo, why do you look like Michael Phelps?
What the fuck, Taylor?
Yo, because those thoughts need protection.
You can't let them thoughts out like that.
She just justifies slavery with food.
I'm talking like Taylor loves food.
She's like, yo, it's fucked up to have them out in the fields.
But that chicken is.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
Chicken.
That chicken.
That cornbread.
I'm just saying realistically, white people was definitely eating good.
You think they were eating good back then?
Is that a single thing?
The song I had this past weekend was bomb as hell.
Why not?
Shout out to Black Nile.
That was a what?
Bomb as hell.
The next thing you said, it was a what?
Shout out to Black Nile.
That's the name of the book.
Last time you said Black Nine.
Your boyfriend.
I didn't want to be the one to dunk it home.
I didn't want to be the one.
With the oop.
I had to throw it.
I was sexy.
Y'all are obsessed with his dick.
What?
Your boyfriend?
He knows we're obsessed with his dick, yo.
You know what I mean?
Boy, got the Glock.
Yeah.
Click, clack.
With that black on black.
It's really weird, okay?
I fought it.
Did y'all hear it on the mic or y'all didn't hear it on the mic?
Yo, Ace Spades.
Ace Spades makes me fart.
It's nice champagne.
Is there more than that?
You fart all the time, no matter what you want.
You do call it bubbly, though.
That's a good point.
That's fly as bubbles.
Tell me that shit don't taste delicious.
I'm not a bougie person.
How much?
Stop, I'm not a bougie person.
I'm not a bougie person.
Most of y'all can never dine at the place I died.
Non-stop.
This guy tells you I can't eat the food he eats.
Most of y'all can never be bothered.
You kidding me?
Matter of fact, I got a dinner reservation.
I gotta get to you now.
But bro, this guy's dog's worth more than my life.
I had to go walk his dog.
That's worth more than anything I've ever owned.
You kidding me, bro.
You know how offensive that is?
My whole life?
Wait, how much is this dog?
Yeah, that shit is expensive, bro.
I almost put that fucking dog on my girl's face, bro.
I was like, take this shit.
Give me the big jacket, man.
Nah.
Cheap champagne, Basura.
Yeah.
Fancy champagne.
Yep.
It's different world.
Like, that's the one alcohol you can tell the difference.
Tell the difference.
Every other alcoholism is.
Yo, nah, cheap tequila, bro.
Yeah, but you know what I mean.
Like fancy ass shit.
Yo, you're not getting tricks, bro.
I can't.
Yo, can you give it?
Yo, this is for fiances only, bro.
What's up?
That's a sexy bottom right there.
That is.
Now, that shit going inside someone.
I don't know what's going on, bro.
Y'all are crazy.
I'm a fiance.
Damn.
I'm a fiance.
That's what he's telling me.
I'm not a fiancé.
I'm a fiance.
Are you behaving better now?
You're a fiance?
I think I am behaving a little bit.
Actually, nah, bro.
Like, I was ready for good behavior.
I've been behaving good.
Fancy Tequila vs Cheap00:04:39
Yeah.
Have you switched up at all?
Like, like your at-home life?
In what way?
Have you been more helpful?
Come on, Mark.
Yeah.
Come on, Mark.
Mark trying to set you up.
I don't know what you're saying.
I understand.
I'm thinking of the dog shit.
It was so expensive, this dog shit, bro.
Are you kidding me?
Yo, that dog shit is not.
What'd you do with it?
You recycle it?
Because I only put my dog shit in a recycling shit.
That's cool shit right there.
You can't put that in the soil.
If you put that in the soil, you grow a market.
That's where I came from.
I didn't know that.
You're replaceable, dog.
Don't worry about it.
Fuck.
That's why I had to pick it up.
All right, man.
So, what are we wrapping up on?
Because we got to wrap this thing up right here.
We got to wrap this thing up, flip it and reverse it.
The competition.
We can speak on that.
Oh, yes.
The editing competition, guys.
Yo, we're reaching out to y'all this week.
Reaching out to the narrowed it down to three.
Yeah, we narrowed it down to three.
We're going to reach out to you guys and we will be in touch.
And we just want to figure out, you know, where you guys live, what is your schedule like, you know, if you guys obviously already have a job right now, what that is, how much time you could dedicate to this.
And we'll describe basically what we want.
And, you know, hopefully you guys bring ideas to that as well.
So we'll be reaching out to you guys very soon.
Thank you guys so much for being a part of this.
And it's been awesome to see the content that y'all have put out, man.
And oh, yo, can I give Andrew that YouTube thing right there, that box?
Oh, what we got here.
Yo, so I hit 100,000 subscribers.
Let's go, YouTube.
And, you know, they give you these little quacks, and I ordered another one.
All you had to do was go white face for it.
Oh, yeah.
Whiteface got that.
So this is a thank you to everybody here, but also Andrew for making me put my shit on YouTube.
Thanks.
Everything in general.
So I know we don't have much space, but you know what?
Why don't we put one of these up here?
I think that that's important, Akash.
Why don't you give me one of those?
Why don't you just give me that flagrant one?
No, put it on your side, baby.
Put it right there.
Yeah.
Take that one.
No, you got it.
And then put that right there.
And then we're going to take this one.
We're going to put on another part of the set.
But, you know, that's good problems to have when you have no space for all the YouTube clacks.
Well, I'm proud of you, man.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Love you, dog.
Love y'all.
Thank you, man.
I'll take one of my first shows.
Andrew, obviously, everything.
Mark, you know what I mean?
You just got here, but that's cool.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
But yeah, I'm proud of you, man.
I think this is absolutely great.
And keep on doing it.
And everybody, yo, if you haven't already, go check out Akash's stand up on his page.
AkashsangYoutube.com/slash thing.
Akash thing.
And yeah, man.
I mean, it's just awesome to see.
If you go out there and do it, it's great to see so many comics that are doing that as well now.
And you see a lot of comics are out there vlogging.
And like, it's really cool to see comics take the things that we've done and like help themselves and kind of build out their career, their careers with it.
You did it.
He actually made me.
He texted me when I announced my tour.
He's like, you're putting clips now.
You're putting up clips now.
And then that's just, I did it.
And it worked.
You know what I mean?
Now you're selling tickets.
Now you're selling out.
Shout out the whole weekend.
We see you, Akash.
Challenging Minneapolis, Acme Comedy Club, so fun.
Even with social distancing, so fun.
Crazy, great.
And that's a great room, especially even if it's socially distanced because it's a super intimate room, right?
It's great.
So, yeah, man, you got any shows coming up?
Yeah, I got Atlantic City, November 12th.
And I'm going to be, this show just got announced at Providence, Rhode Island.
I will have more details, but I literally just got the email December 11th and 12th.
I love it.
I love it, man.
Well, look, guys, you know, we'll see you on Friday.
Man, we had an unbelievable episode of Patreon last Friday.
And all the patrons listening right now, y'all know, man, we had some cool discoveries made there just about ourselves.
And to me, it was like the perfect Flagrant 2 episode.
It just encompassed everything.
It was like silly.
It was flagrancy.
It was funny.
It was serious.
It was thoughtful.
And it was just fucking great.
So we're going to do, obviously, we do an episode every single Friday on patreon.com slash flagrant2.
And you can go there, sign up, be part of the largest comedy patreon in the motherfucking world.
And we're going for largest patreon in the motherfucking world.
And you know what's really cool is someone cut a clip and sent it to us.
It was two years ago.
We had Israel Adesania Stylebender on Flagrant.
No, no, we were talking.
He was just making the rounds in the UFC.
And we were talking about him on Flagrant 2.
And we were like, and I believe I said, I was like, you know, it's going to be crazy in a couple of years when Izzy is the face of the UFC and he's the UFC champion.
And we got the biggest podcast in the world.
And right now, Izzy is the face of the UFC and he is the UFC champion.
And we have the number one comedy patreon in the world.
Biggest Podcast Success00:00:44
And if I said it, I meant it, bro.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's with everything in life, you know, and it's just amazing to see what we did here.
And we can't do that without y'all at home spreading the fucking word for this, man.
So keep it up.
Thank you, everybody who's a part of this.
Thank you, Taylor, for becoming a part of this.
You know what I mean?
Thank you, Mark, for becoming a part of this.
OG, Akash, thank you.
And OG, Alex, thank you guys.
But this is awesome shit, man.
And I'm very excited for what's next.
And I think soon we'll be able to talk to y'all about that.
Some cool little things that we've been cooking up.
Very cool.
And that's all I could say about that.
So we love y'all.
We appreciate y'all.
We'll see some of y'all Friday.
Hopefully eventually we see all of you on Fridays as well.