Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh critique Valentina Sampayo's Sports Illustrated selection as performative progression, mocking the Smiths' monetized drama and debating whether Native American tribes historically enabled the Washington Redskins name. They analyze LeBron James's refusal to wear "Black Lives Matter" on his jersey despite NBA policies allowing slogans like "I Can't Breathe," accusing the league of bending over backwards for China while ignoring Hong Kong. Ultimately, the hosts frame these cultural shifts as calculated marketing tactics rather than genuine activism or moral progress. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Real Women vs Trans Models00:14:31
What's up everybody?
Flagrant 2.
Let's get right into it.
This trans model that is in Sports Illustrated is unbelievably beautiful.
Okay.
I think that she's earned it.
I think if you're Tranny, you have to be hotter, way hotter than a real woman.
Does that make sense?
Like, impossible meat got to be way better than the worst hamburger.
And let me tell you something.
This is beyond bitch.
Beyond bitch.
They're beyond bitch right here.
Yo, this is the impossible bitch.
We got this.
Impossible, Tranny.
We done.
For real.
I need to try the vegan for JJ.
Like, dude, this girl, her name is Valentina Sampayo, right?
Look her up.
She's on my Instagram.
So that's the first.
You know this Tranny's fine when you have your boys message you like, yo, have you seen who's going to be on Victoria Secret?
Literally all I did was I messaged back the group chat my search history on Instagram and YouTube.
Not brassers yet.
But bro, this girl, if anybody's watching right now, Valentina Simpayo, she's going to be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit 2020 rookie, right?
She was probably in the regular sports illustrator before this.
She's a rookie as a girl.
What if she laughs like that?
She's a rookie swimsuit model, but it's a dude she's a red shirt veteran.
This is her second year.
The best fucking Patrice joke when we talk about how his girl laughs old.
Remember he literally date these girls back in the day.
Hee hee he laughing.
My girl be in the crib like, oh, this girl is so fine, but if she had a crazy dude laugh, dude, I've looked at everything.
I've looked feet, abs.
How are the feet?
Feet, I've only seen heels.
She's in a lot of like...
Toe length?
Toe length.
I've only seen heels and inch shoe.
I haven't seen just flat feet.
It might be.
Yeah.
The 11th toe is pretty long.
But for real, dude, look, the body shoulders.
You think?
She got to have something.
Oh, man.
Look at her.
The butt, none have enough butt for me for a dude.
You know what I mean?
She don't got that Jorge Mosby doll.
Jorge Mosby doll?
Yo, we're going to talk about it.
Jorge got that horse head?
He got the horse head.
Giddy up.
Yo, what happened in this podcast?
What happened?
Malatina Simpayo came on.
We all went fucking gay.
No, don't show the real women, Al.
I'm not, I'm not.
Okay.
Hey, that's a real woman, yo.
Say what?
That's a real woman.
What makes a woman a woman?
That's how I knew back in the day.
Once these girls got fine as fuck, we were going to start really going like, hey, do you know what I'm saying?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's a question.
Some prophetic joke.
Prophetic.
Yeah.
I thought you said prophetic.
You had a line.
I don't remember who you kept it, but you said something like...
Oh, boy, here we go.
Caitlin Jenner still looks a little brucey, which is a great way to do it.
She got a little Bruce in her.
She got a little Bruce in her.
But here's the thing that's interesting.
Is this girl, percentage-wise, Valentina Simpayo, girl, dude, whatever.
You know what's interesting?
You get to identify as whatever you want.
Why can't I identify you as whatever I want?
Oh, my God.
Like, I'm allowed to say America is the best country in the world.
You're allowed to say India is.
But I'm allowed to say you're not.
I identify you as not.
Why is that hateful?
I don't hate India.
I'm like, nah, man.
You know, there's a gold medal and then there ain't.
Y'all bronze like your skin.
But that being said, okay, this girl right here, Valentina Simpyo.
Okay.
Is she percentage-wise more fake than Kylie Jenner?
Percentage of her body.
Oh, shit.
No chance.
No chance.
She's got to be less fake than Kylie.
Think about, right?
Like, let's go through everything.
Maybe she got lips done.
I looked at the lips.
The lips are amazing.
She got great fam.
Same with Kylie.
Can you call her fam?
Oh, you call her whatever you want.
What is the most likely?
How, could you call her my N-word?
Oh, yeah, she's a nigga.
She's from Brazil, too.
Brazil.
Brazil niggas.
That's a fine-ass N-word?
That's a fine nigga right there.
So look, so she has maybe fake lips, maybe a little work done to the face.
That being said, nothing else seems like work done.
Maybe pussy is not scooped, blown out.
What do you call it?
Blown out?
Wait, what?
What do you call?
Oh, no, she doesn't have a dick.
So dick scooped.
Yeah.
Dick scooped.
Have you heard how they actually make pussies?
Nah, enlighten us.
This is crazy.
You hold your nose and then you breathe in real hard.
You just go.
It's true.
You sit there on the doctor.
The doctor goes, okay, on the count of three, one, two.
You don't do that.
You're going to fucking suck your dick in, have a pussy, and then grow a dick again.
I can't sacrifice any dicks.
That's why I breathe out of my mouth.
I'm like, if you want Andrew to sex change, just hold his nose while he laughs.
Every laugh.
He's in laughing.
Hold his nose.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
We got to play.
We're going to go back.
By the way, F.A.
Oh, God.
Shout out to F.A.
He sent me one of the funniest things anybody's ever sent me.
We're going to get it back after this one.
But remind me about the thing F.A. sent.
Okay.
Now, so here's the thing, Valentina Simpyo.
I think, and let me see.
Let's see if we're on the same page here.
Kylie Jenner, who has, I believe, fake boobs, fake ass, fake hips, fake jaw, fake nose, fake lips, everything.
This girl, fake puss, if she's tucked, we don't even know if she's tucked.
Right.
Right?
Right.
Fake puss, maybe lips.
This girl's technically more real.
Yeah.
Not more girl, but more real than Kylie.
100%.
So have all these girls in their plastic surgery, the Hollywood plastic surgery aesthetic, if you will, have they opened the door to us cracking open trannies because they're just as fake or just as real?
Are women meeting trannies halfway?
And now it's become so like normalized and we're so used to body parts not being real that once we see a dude with some body parts in our reel, we're like, well, it's no different than the last girl I dated.
It's a problem.
Uh ladies, you did it.
I'm just saying, Brazilian trans lives matter.
If you put that on.
Don't it make sense that the baddest bitch trans would be Brazilian?
Doesn't that make the most sense out of all this?
Bro, it's so true.
This is the most woke he's ever been.
Am I really want to fuck a dude right now?
I don't want to fuck a dude.
I want to fuck that guy.
That dude.
That single guy could get some fucking neck.
Get some neck.
Real talk.
This guy right here, no doubt, no bullshit.
If he gets out of bed too early when I'm not done cuddling, grab him by his dick and yank him right back off.
I go, yo, Val, get your ass back over here.
Look at this fine ass dude, bitch.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Yo, she's bad, dude.
She's bad.
She's bad.
Shout out to y'all.
Y'all, mad progressive.
Yo, we're progressive over here, though.
Yo, yo, Al try to act like I'm not progressive and he quiet over here.
Yes, you are.
He's not lecturing me for like 20 minutes about how I was backwards in my trans thinking.
Oh, yeah.
What were those thinking?
What were those thoughts?
Son.
What were those thinkings?
Son, this is the change my mind, bitch, right here.
Sometimes you need to change.
This market is the queen.
Fucking sit in.
I got some things you can sit on, bitch.
All right, have a nightmare.
This shit is a wet dream, yo.
No bullshit.
Bro, it's true.
Sometimes you want to change.
Like, white people are like, oh, black people can't play baseball.
And then Jackie Robinson came around.
They're like, you know, this is the Jackie Robinson.
Let's round those bases, yo.
Take us home.
Yo, no bullshit.
You see her in the club, you point at the stands like Dave Roosevelt.
I'm going yard.
Come on, bro.
Who built this bitch?
I need to know the Frankenstein doctor out there in Brazil to put her together.
We need her on the map.
Come on.
There's a bomb ass doctor out there in Brazil.
This is the role modeled, man.
This is what it is now.
Bro, she's the temporary bitches.
That's just what it is.
You wouldn't take it down.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Ah, yes, absolutely.
Imagine the second girl Mark has sex with.
He's the other guy.
I would get taken down.
I would take down.
I don't care.
Wait, you would let her split it open?
You let you get shucked.
You let her shuck that clam, dog.
She could have some oysters for dinner with the red sauce.
I was your ass bleeding.
I was so graphic, dog.
That was so graphic.
I didn't understand what the metaphor is, but now I understand.
The answer is yes.
It's hell yeah.
Now this.
Listen, you can't say no.
I literally wish we could do call-ins right now.
I wish we could have anybody who says no is lying.
So here's the thing: you're saying no because you know.
If you didn't know, you're taking it down.
Yeah.
Think about it.
If you didn't know who's a dude, you fucked uglier girls than that.
Al, of course.
I fuck the majority of ugly women that have been uglier than her.
I feel confident saying that.
You can even say, I got a fake for ugly bitches.
Yo, why are you like activists so much, bro?
For real.
I think it's a lot.
Her voice is back, by the way.
I don't have that wrong.
Thank God.
I still want to get us tested on the podcast.
We should get us tested, right?
For the antibodies.
Let's get her tested for a Y chromosome ass bitch.
I don't know if I believe it, bro.
I don't know if I believe that she's a dude, man.
No.
I do not think she's a dude.
Even when she smiles, it's like a girl.
We got to hear the voice.
I think it also helps.
That's what I've been searching for because I'm going to ruin it for you when you hear her voice.
I'll go.
You got it?
Yeah.
If you don't see the pictures from before the transition, I think it helps our brains just believe that's how it's always been.
Yeah.
Whatever, yo, you ain't never been with a girl who's ugly before puberty.
It's the ugly duckling.
This is the ugliest duckling.
That's right.
Turned into the most beautiful swan.
Oh my god.
Now you make a good point.
Everybody has an ugly duckling face.
Hers was just as a guy.
Yeah, she was.
And then she became beautiful.
Okay, you got it?
That's not her though, doc.
No, no, no.
It's she'd be an interviewer.
Okay.
I was so surprised, and I feel, oh my God, really?
Like a dream.
This is me a lot, like to me, and not just.
Please pause.
Please pause.
I told you, son, I was talking about it.
I take back everything I've ever said.
I take back everything I've ever said.
That's why I seen this yesterday.
So I can't be on board with y'all because I heard this yesterday.
Bro.
But y'all fucking not.
Y'all on record.
Y'all all fucking not.
I mean, whatever, son, I'm my ally.
Progressive.
I love it.
Son, here's the thing that I've never understood.
We need to get a trans person on this podcast so they can explain to me.
They will change everything in their whole body but their voice.
Son.
Look how easy it is to do a higher voice.
Ready?
Hey, how are you?
Whoa.
Sound just like you're not doing that.
No, not as you do.
Whoa.
You sound just like him.
Okay, do a girl voice.
Do your best girl voice.
Go.
Hello.
It's fucking Mickey.
Oh, boy.
Cynthia cartoon does.
It's very hard for me to do that.
Girl voice.
Just be a girl voice.
Be sexy on the phone with it.
You're talking to a guy on the phone.
Tell him, describe your pussy.
Listen, I'll be the guy.
Yo, babe.
Yo, babe.
What's that?
Alexandra, me.
You change your voice.
That's because I talk sexy voice.
Y'all talk sexy in your same voice.
He sounds more like Translation.
He sound like my fiancé.
Okay.
Ready?
Ready?
Here it is.
Ready?
Okay, this is how I talk sexy.
I'm like, I'm like.
Hold on, hold on.
Let me get my sexy off.
Did you hear that little pop?
Hey, hey, Alexandra Media.
What's that hatchet wound like?
It's nice and wet.
You sound like a fucking nail style.
It's wet.
You have to wet it dry.
I'm sorry.
I don't got practice talking like a woman.
How about you give it a try, Mark?
Let's go.
Let's go.
Pussy too wet.
Can't walk outside.
Have to let drive.
What color you want that thing?
Pimping Out Fake Personas00:06:13
That's why I can understand what the transpo your best girl voice.
Okay, this is me talking about this.
Yo, what is up with this?
I thought I was better than that.
I would fuck me.
I ain't fucking that.
If people are just listening, that was me talking.
That wasn't a girl that was in here.
Thanks, Mark.
Thanks for clarifying.
I think that was pretty good.
All right, ready?
Alkash, go.
Best girl voice.
Oh, God.
Yo, set the mood.
Holler at me.
Live out fantasies here.
I got you.
Yo.
No, come on.
Yo, come on now.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
All right, Lakshmi.
Let me tell you.
Let me ask you something about Lux.
Ask me anything.
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Send me a picture of that Tandoori oven.
You want a picture?
You want a naughty picture?
Yo, he's pretty good.
What is really interesting, if you're watching the video, this is the only time I've ever seen Akash talk and then move his heads up.
Like Indians do.
You just became.
You deadass right.
I couldn't believe it.
That's all I asked again.
I was like, he's not going to repeat it.
You deadass right.
I was trying to be sassy.
All right, I got best girl voice.
All right.
You know what I did?
I just impersonated Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson impression.
But you don't think you'll be trying your whole life to figure that shit out?
Yeah, man.
Hey, sweetheart, how are you?
Yeah.
No, we should definitely go to the movies.
I sound like a guy.
I don't know really what that is.
That was pretty good.
Y'all the best.
Dan Day Lewis changes the way he acts in every performance.
Yeah.
You had one role you're trying to fill your entire life.
You can't change the volume.
What is that shit called?
Methodist?
Yeah.
You're a Methodist actor.
Be Methodist.
It's funny because Jesus said.
I didn't finish the sentence, so we're good.
It's okay.
They all know.
Yeah, you got to get that image down.
Her jaws looking mad pronounced.
Real talk.
We can't look at that no more.
But shouts to you for looking fine before.
So what is this?
Why put her in Sports Illustrated?
What is this like performative progression?
Like, what is what's going on here?
It seems kind of silly that a magazine that made its entire name off of objectifying women is all of a sudden like, yo, we're woke.
You get out ahead of it, man.
And it's actually, she's the perfect person to do it with.
Technically, they're objectifying a woman.
They're still about that life.
They're just opening up the scope.
I actually like that.
It's like a pimp going, all right, I've been pimping women too long.
I got to pimp some men.
You're not going to stop pimping out yet.
This is so progressive.
I guess, yeah, it is interesting.
I just.
It's like the decent version of being progressive.
Because, all right, damn, I'm going to get killed.
But, you know, like plus-size models.
Nobody knows who you are.
Nah, I don't.
Three DMs, that's a kill.
So, you know, plus-size models, they, like, opened up models to include them.
Yeah.
And I think that's just too progressive.
It's like, this is less progressive.
So this is actually like decent progression.
This is the right amount of progress, you're saying, because she still has the body of the clothes that you should aspire to have.
Boom.
And if all models are here for is to get you to wear the clothes.
You guys said you would still hit.
So it's like yo, that is an interesting thing.
A model's job is just to look good in the clothes.
It's really not to have a dick or a pussy or titties.
It's literally to look good in the clothes.
So if this bitch looks good in clothes, she's doing the job.
Yeah.
Once we can have robot models, we're going to have robot models.
100%.
How do you want to deal with these fucking retards?
You know what I mean?
If you could just have a robot to it.
What do we have?
Mannequins at the store?
Back in the day, they probably paid some bitches to stand there.
And they're like, I don't want to do this no more.
So they got the mannequins because we literally being a model is the closest you could be to a mannequin.
And they got those bot influencers.
What's that?
It's like an AI influencer.
It's like, what's it good?
You've seen it, right?
Yeah, I follow one of them.
It's kind of weird.
You would follow it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So it's a fake.
Oh, no, it's a Japanese thing, right?
They like created a fake person.
Yeah.
They give them a social media.
Yeah.
And they operate as a real person on social media, but they're not real.
Yeah.
There's like a team of people that update for the person.
I forget the one I fought.
I could find it.
But like, she's now like releasing music.
Really?
And they have like ghost writers and like ghost musicians.
Like, that's wild.
But the person doesn't exist.
I mean, that's the future.
That's definitely what's going to happen.
Do you think this is going to be bad for trans women?
Dude, it's.
Pause that video, Al.
I can't get this track.
I actually looked up because I was like, what are trans people saying about this?
Like, what do they think?
And apparently there was like, like, the one trans thread I found on like this forum was like not really into it.
Why?
Because they said that, one, it is like increasing gender dysphoria amongst trans people.
Because they were like, like, because like this is the exception.
Most trans people don't look like this is what they were saying.
Trans people never had beauty standards to aspire to.
And the problem women say with these, like Victoria's Secret, et cetera, it sets unrealistic body images that I have to like try to get if you're trans.
This is super unrealistic.
Yep.
Yo, this is the most, this is more unrealistic than them Victoria's Secret bitches are to women.
Yes.
Because those Victoria's Secret girls, if you're a woman, you can get there in terms of like body shape.
Maybe you just diet, you work out, work out.
The genetics to overcome are way easier to overcome than this.
Imagine you're a girl with a beard like you, and then you gotta be that.
That's the expectation.
Nah, this requires hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Yo, that's a good question.
Are people with beards trans or they just go gay?
Like, if you're trans, do you look in the mirror and be like, nah, I think I'm gay.
Like, I don't think I could get to trans.
Like, you know, like when you're a basketball player, you look at your skill level and you're like, I could play in Europe.
I ain't gonna make the league, though, right?
Like, I wonder.
I wonder if somebody's like Greek, you know, like, or Armenian trans, like just mad hair everywhere.
The Impossible VS Expectations00:06:49
Yo, that's so funny.
I wonder if they're just like, I think I gotta call it gay because I'm not gonna make it to trans with all the facial hair and everything.
Yo, does that make sense?
It kind of does.
Like, they have a massive thing to overcome, right?
I assume once you stop taking the testosterone shit, though, that's like easier to overcome.
Well, I need to start taking that shit because my facial hair is looking shady at best.
Both of y'all.
The female voice was too good.
Yo, but now your fucking facial hair is amazing.
You have this incredible beard, beautiful lips, and nose and eyes.
Like an Indian Mosvito.
Yo, you give me Masvedol's ass.
I shut the game.
Yeah.
We were watching the fight, right?
Yeah.
While my girl thought I was editing.
And we were in the studio watching the fight while my girl thought I was at it.
And this dude got in the ring.
We're like, man, he cut 20 pounds of fucking weight.
If you guys don't know what we're talking about, Jorge Masvedol fought Kamaru Ushman for the, I believe it's Welterweight title.
The weight divisions are different in UFC unboxing.
And he had to cut 20 pounds, went to 190 to 170 to make weight.
And he went in the ring and he had the fatty, bro.
That Eddie Murphy.
He had that.
He hauled a donkey, bro.
That donkey hoat.
You know what I'm saying?
My gosh.
Yo, I know what you're saying, dog.
Dude, that backyard brawl.
Did he have the Volkswagen?
Son, he did.
He had the fucking Yukon Denali right there, bro.
Ain't no Volkswagen Beetle.
My girl was out there with it.
Damn, man.
I don't know, man.
I don't know if I should share this shit, but I think I should share it.
We can cut it.
Nah, damn, bro.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Get them dicks.
Heart.
If you are new to this podcast, then let me tell you how things work over here.
The dicks on this podcast are serious.
We got some serious hard dicks, okay?
All different lengths and sizes.
But the stiffness, I would say, is equal.
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Blue Chew.
I mean, simple as that.
Same active ingredients as in Seattle's, Viagra, all that kind of stuff.
You pop it.
Give your girl the night of her life.
You know, ladies, if your boyfriend is not watching or not listening to this podcast just yet, just tell him to check this out because you deserve the night or weekend of your life too.
Pop that blue chew.
I mean, have some fun.
It's that simple.
Go have some fun.
It's a sex supplement.
Thank you.
Why not be better at sex?
We use supplements for everything else.
You use supplements for your fucking eyelashes.
These girls out here doing eyelash supplements, making their eyelashes thicker and longer than they are.
We're going to make our dicks thicker and longer than they are.
Al, yours grew.
It did.
That's what's up.
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Use that promo code Flagrant.
Obviously.
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How could you not do that?
It's free.
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Go do it right now.
Let's get back to the show.
So I'm looking for a ring for my girl, obviously, right?
Yep.
This bitch is going to break up with me without even knowing what the fuck I'm doing.
Because I'm lying around crazy to fucking learn about this ring.
I got to make up all these lies about doctor's appointments.
I'm not going to and different shit.
I got meetings.
Oh, I got to go meet Mark at this.
You know what I mean?
I got to go this with Alex.
I'm really going to this diamond shit.
I had to make up a show that I had a show and I had to travel to DC because I got the ring in DC from a shouts through the asshole to hook me up.
Yeah.
You know what bothered me though?
My girl was just like, okay.
I was like, bitch, you don't care.
I'm leaving for two days.
The fuck is that?
She wouldn't care.
But my point is, I feel bad.
I'm lying to her.
And she can kind of tell I'm lying a bit.
And then my dumbass goes into this fucking fancy ass diamond place and they give you a little like barcode thing to get into the building that you have to press on the conveyor belt thing.
Not conveyor belt.
Was it turnstile?
My dumb ass just leaves that shit at the fucking table when I get back home, not thinking it's going to have the name of the fucking company where I'm going to.
So then she saw that.
So we're not breaking up no more, but we weren't really going to break up.
Yeah.
But it was.
But she knows.
At this point, she knows it's a thing.
But that's what I think.
It's like, I don't think we should be surprising him.
It's too much risk.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I truly believe that.
Thank you, bro.
Yo, like, for real.
Like, think about the risk.
You weren't concerned?
Like, you were doing some behind-her-back shit?
Nah, man, it felt great.
I love lying to her.
And knowing she can't really be mad at me when she finds out.
Like, what's the worst case scenario?
We get married, bitch.
All right.
I'm lying to you positively.
What if in the media, in like the intermediate time, right?
She like starts sucking this guy's dick.
Like, what the fuck, dude?
Like, you know.
That is your concern.
No, but like, you know, it's your concern, you know?
You know what I mean?
She thinks you're cheating because you're out there in DC doing these shows.
Not my concern.
You know what I mean?
At all.
It's not your.
She's like, oh, well, he's just going to go to DC.
Well, I'm just going to go start sucking other guys' dicks.
You never thought?
That never crossed your mind?
Never.
I was so comfortable with it.
Her sucking other guys.
Nah, literally.
The concern is holding a lie.
And I have this really transparent relationship.
Yeah, trans man.
I have this really transparent relationship with my girl where like I don't really need a lie about shit because I don't do any fuck shit.
Right.
Right?
I remember back in the day when you're like dating, you know, other girls and stuff like that.
You know, like looking at other girls' shit and you're getting DMs, that kind of stuff like that.
But I don't do that with her.
So that's the easiest thing.
I never got it.
I leave my phone around.
She got my password.
I could give a fuck.
But now I'm holding a little secret and it feels weird.
Does that make sense?
Like your psyche changed a little bit.
My actual only concern was that she would find out and it would ruin the surprise.
I don't care about that.
And that was it.
That was all I worried about.
And then she ended up finding my ring receipt too.
So I was like, all right, well.
Oh, she's going to find a receipt.
Yeah.
I'm going to leave the receipt in the box.
It's going to open the box and it's going to say the receipt.
And then she's going to have to move that out the way to get the ring.
You cop one yet?
Say again?
No.
But when I do, she's going to know.
That's why I always ask her how much the tip is at the restaurant.
We go out to dinner.
We get the bill.
I go, babe, how much do I tip for this?
That's great.
I know how to tip.
That's great.
I tip when she's not there.
That's great.
But when that shit is like $40, I don't ask her how much the tip is, but when it's like $200, babe, what's the 20% of $200 that I spent on dinner?
You know what I'm saying?
You got to know the effort.
Are you concerned about something, I'll come?
No, no, I was thinking about how I was trying to say this.
Sometimes I'll say dollar amounts, and my girl will be like, is that a lot of money?
And I'm like, bitch, did you forget how money works?
Money and Birth Struggles00:06:01
Nah, sometimes.
You know how we need to take Americans and then send them to live somewhere else in the world so they can see what they got here?
I truly believe that we need to do that with women, but like with spending money.
Oh, yeah.
They just spend money for the whole week and it only comes out of their bank account.
Oh, yeah, that'd be so bad.
And then they just go, oh, this is real out here.
It gets real out here, bro.
You know what I'm saying, guys?
Oh, yeah.
It's her birthday coming up, too.
I'm going to tell you something.
Are you going to get her anything?
Yeah, man.
What you going to get her?
That's like her.
That's like the most important day for her.
It's her birthday.
I didn't know women cared about birthdays.
I stopped caring 14.
Women care about birthdays, yo.
Did you just start dating women?
Yes.
It's my first girlfriend.
I was massive.
I picked a fight on her birthday and she's like, I can't believe you.
I was like, I don't give a fuck.
If it's your birthday, girl, and then I talk to more women.
They're like, you're a monster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Birthday, they do a whole week for their birthday.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Narcissist.
Spend a whole week on your birthday.
That's crazy, right?
Just one day.
Just one day.
Yeah, it's going to stretch you a month.
Though, I will say this, though.
If your mother was in labor for more than 24 hours, I think you should get two days.
I think your birthday should be two days.
Take that in.
Dumbest shit I've ever heard.
Your mom should get.
Your mom should really be the one getting celebrated on your birthday.
Push a little more.
Think I want to be in here half puss, half not?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Do you really think I want this?
I'm sitting here like an acorn.
Wait, you think being in labor means your head is sticking out?
Huh?
You think being in labor means your head is sticking up?
Yeah.
Wait, what do you mean?
You could like be in the process of labor, but the baby hasn't crowned yet.
So it's like.
It don't count.
Yes, but that's not.
I'm talking about when you start squeezing out the baby.
Yeah, that's usually quick.
Your mom was in labor for like four days, huh?
Just pushing out a nose.
She looked like a shark fin.
Son, my nose literally sliced her pussy to her asshole wide open.
It was just one gaping hole as my nose came out.
But no, for real.
For real.
You're telling me that most of the delivery is not squeezing the baby out?
Yes.
So what are these women crying about?
The whole stretching part.
Dilating it?
Yeah.
We can't dilate that.
There's no drops.
No, for real.
There's no drops.
You could just put some lemon in there or something like that.
You can't squeeze a lemon on it and it opens up.
You can't just go like that with a lemon.
Like you take the lemon that got the mesh on it so no seeds get inside.
Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
And then you just squeeze it on the pussy lips and the pussy lips just start opening up.
Yeah.
Like a fenus flytrap.
That's it.
Why are we waiting to dilate when you got citrus?
Just squeeze a lemon on that puss C No, for real.
Vitamin C for that pussy.
That's a vitamin C.
I mean that.
So then, so what you're saying is most of the labor is her just breathing, doing that, doing that shit.
Yeah.
Why we got to teach women how to breathe, bro.
What the fuck is going on?
You know what I'm saying?
You got a whole class about breathing.
This birth shit is a racket, ain't it?
It's a racket.
Yo, you got classes on breathing.
You go to a class and some dude that never gave birth ever.
It's like, okay, this is how you breathe.
In with the air, out with the air.
We'll see you next Tuesday.
Get the fuck out of here like I'm going to that shit.
Llama's class.
I ain't going to know llama's class.
We've been giving birth for millions of years.
Yeah.
All the time.
And all of a sudden now we need like classes on how to give birth.
Come on, bro.
No one taught you how to shit.
No one taught you how to shit, Akash.
No, you don't.
I was shitting in my diapers before anybody held me.
Thank you.
For the wiping part.
What?
The wiping part.
Yeah, but that's you do it.
It's toilet training.
Why didn't you just grab paper and get it?
Yo, I'm beyond you right now.
I'm beyond you right now.
No one ever trained me how to wipe.
I'm dead ass.
I learned that myself.
So now I learned to believe it.
Tell him why.
Tell him why.
Be having streaks, always scratching his ass.
No.
Son, he has streaks.
I always have streaks because I blow the back out the toilet.
Yeah.
When I shit, I don't shit down.
I come with such velocity because your ass goes back so much.
No, my asshole, I have a hemorrhoid.
So the hemorrhoid is at the front of my asshole.
So it actually tweaks the colon.
Oh, it's a rapid.
Yeah, it comes out like that.
It's a rapid, it's a rapid, like a slide at a water part.
That's a slide of the water part.
100%.
It's like when you wash a spoon in the sink.
Exactly.
Yes.
That's what it is.
So, that being said, nobody ever taught me that.
I never learned a lot of things, and I worked out just fine.
You're still struggling with shit to this day.
You know what?
That's true.
Exactly.
But I have multiple shits a day and they're effective.
All right, man.
You got it.
I'm just saying.
Do you think you could give birth, our gosh?
No.
No, that's women's work.
But do you think you could?
Never.
If push came to shove.
No, that's the one thing they can do that we can't.
It's the one.
Nah, I don't want to do that shit.
You think you could do birth, Al?
I've had some.
That's because you've been fucked so much your ass holds wide off.
I've had some bad shits before that was very close to childbirth.
You think you give birth, Mark?
I mean, no.
Can you imagine a nine-pound shit?
Say what?
Can you imagine a nine-pound?
Yes.
I've come close to that.
I've shipped it.
You never had it where it's like, you just keep spiraling and shit like that.
I've shipped my height in a day, guaranteed.
Like, if you stretch it all out straight, it would be my height.
I don't think I could give birth.
Like, I wouldn't want to, but it seems like you probably just wouldn't be able to figure it out, right?
Like, you just, your body would be like, yeah, I mean, yeah.
Autopilot.
You're not going to leave it in there.
That's what I'm saying.
Jesus takes a wheel and you just fucking let it rip.
Yeah.
Let Jesus do it.
Nah, moms deserve all the credit.
Women who don't have kids, whatever.
Y'all hanging out.
But moms should be.
Clearing the Air with Jada00:14:40
So who the fuck is that?
So who is this guy?
At first, he's blowing trannies in the beginning of the podcast.
I'm a mama's boy.
You know this about me.
You know what I'm saying?
This guy loves trannies, bro.
Who don't?
Yeah, you're right.
No, no, I'm with you on that.
The birth, giving birth is unknown.
I'm a mama's boy, so I always look at women like, if you don't have kids and you're a feminist, I'm like, what's so hard about this?
You're just hanging out.
Once you had kids, you done been through it.
Yeah.
You done went to war.
Yeah, she's chilling.
My little baby right there.
Anyway, what else we got going on, man?
We got a lot of shit.
Should we talk about the Will and Jada thing?
You guys watch the red table talk?
Yo, I got a question about the Will and Jada thing.
This is quite interesting.
Flip the roles.
Flip the rolls.
Let's say Will fucks Jaden's friend.
This a girl that's 23 years old.
Jada.
Who they helped.
Jaden because Jaden is the Jaden is the kid.
Yeah.
And this guy, what's his name?
August August Alcina was Jaden's friend.
That's how Jaden met it.
And they helped him through a drug problem.
Like he came to you broken.
Imagine a girl came to Will's family like broken.
One of Willow's friends.
One of Will or Jaden's friend doesn't matter, but like young.
Will uses his power and influence to take advantage of her, dates her.
I think we're having a completely different conversation about that.
Now, Jada uses her power and influence.
The kid literally was a drug act or some shit, right?
Use her power and influence, manipulates potentially this kid, and she is the queen of the internet.
She's future.
She's all these different memes about what a badass entanglement is a new hashtag.
Oh, I'm not cheating.
I just got an entanglement.
All this kind of shit.
It is very interesting to see women not be as, let's say, protective of August Alcina as they might be some chick.
Who was super in love with her?
He's still heartbroken.
Still heartbroken because she took him broken, manipulated him.
Still not over it.
Now, that being said, I think he's a grown-ass man.
He got to figure that shit out himself.
Boom.
I'm just saying the energy would be totally different.
Don't you guys think?
If it was Will Smith that did that to one of Jaden's female friends?
Very valid point.
Right?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
100%.
But he was, how old was he?
25?
23.
23.
No, look, over 18, you're a grown-up.
You got to figure that shit out.
Like, if we could send you to war, we could send you to Smith's house.
Well, what would the public perception be?
The public perception.
Will did it.
What would all these ugly girls with short hair on the internet say?
I do.
What would the short-haired, ugly girls that have their hair dyed blonde or not blonde red?
What would they say?
And they have no upper lip.
Usually it's purple.
Purple.
Whatever.
What would those girls say?
Yeah, they would call him a monster.
They got all the opinions about relationships they'd never been in.
Don't they?
Right?
Like, it's crazy, bro.
Like, damn, that's so foul.
Why couldn't that be me?
100%.
It is an interesting energy.
I hated watching this shit, yo.
I couldn't stand.
Jada's so phony to me.
Now, my question I had.
They both are to me.
Huh?
They both are super.
You think they're phony?
It was like.
I think Will didn't want to be there at all.
Oh, absolutely.
So then she sat him down and then she said the entanglement shit.
I had the entanglement with August and Will was like, entanglement?
She's like, yeah.
And then he said, you cheated essentially.
And she goes, that's what I said.
No, bitch, it's not at all what you said.
He said you had a relationship.
Yeah, she said, that's what I said.
No, bitch, that's not what you said at all.
This is the fakest bitch on the internet.
Whoa.
The fakest bitch on the internet.
Talk about it.
Your entire platform is being honest, real talk, helping other people.
And then she says in this thing, I think one thing she says that's a lie, and we have to fact check this, but she said, I didn't talk to him for four years.
I think he was on Red Table Talk like a year ago talking about addiction.
But anyway, even if that's not true, she says this was very healing for me to go through this.
And I learned a lot about myself, which, first of all, is if any guy said that again, it would be like, get the fuck out of here.
You're just a cheating.
Yo, I needed to heal by fucking 23.
Yes.
Hey.
100%.
Hey, when I cheated with that 18-year-old, I was healing.
I was learning about myself.
Listen, I got my dick sucked, right, in a Bennigan's, but I was healing when I did that.
You have to understand.
When the waitress was sucking my dick in the bathroom of a Bennigan's, it was healing for me.
The awesome blossom sauce on my dick also had a medicative effect.
And, babe, the meal was about $100.
How much I tip on this shit?
You already tipped, bro.
But for real, though.
Here's my point.
Your show is about honesty and healing.
If this was healing for you, you could have very easily shared it throughout this entire process of filming this series.
What, two years it's been on?
And you had Will on talking about relationship difficulties before, but you never shared it.
Why?
Because you always needed to be put together perfect Jada.
And you're not.
You a fucking phony.
And if you were honest, you would help a lot more people, but you don't give a fuck about helping people.
You give a fuck about looking perfect.
Oh, shit.
Fuck you, bitch.
And Will, too, if it's an open relationship.
I'm going to be honest, I think she just made him do that shit and it's like, all right, let me give her a career to shut her ass up.
Yo, Mark said something interesting once, one time about open relationships.
No, I thought this was really interesting.
People always go when like a famous guy and his wife have an open relationship, right?
Yeah.
People are always like, nah, it's okay.
They have an open relationship.
She's okay with it.
They have an open relationship.
No, they have an open relationship.
And then Mark goes once, you think if he was like, hey, we should not have an open relationship anymore?
She'd be like, damn.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't want that.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
You want.
Now, I don't know about the Smiths per se because apparently, from what I've heard, they're both out there just getting cracked and cracking cheeks, right?
Like, I think Will's doing it.
I see.
We've been hearing that for 15 years.
Yeah, Will's doing him.
He just looks like a cuck because we don't know about his business because he knows how to handle his side pieces.
So is this the most like the savviest move for him is to come on and look like the good guy?
Like the most alpha move is actually like, all right, let me come on.
Let me do this thing, look like a good guy, and then I'm going to go fuck whoever.
So real talk, attention is currency now.
He missed the 4th of July.
Everybody's talking about them.
That's what they want.
If you think, listen, listen, there is maybe some fundamental differences between the Smith family and the Kardashian family.
We spoke about this a long time ago with the Kardashians coming for the, sorry, the Smiths coming for the Kardashians.
They want to be the first family of the internet or the first family of America, right?
And they're going about it from what we see as like a way more in a way more like positive direction, right?
It might be phony, like you're saying, but at least it is of, hey, this show is about healing.
Let's get better.
Empowerment.
Let's have this great family dynamic.
Let's do the things that we need to do to feed our soul, etc.
Right.
They're like, if you add in some like Oprah elements, you know what I mean?
Like, and that being said, they wouldn't do it in front of the camera if they didn't want attention for it.
So they are monetizing this.
Are they monetizing the positivity behind it?
Sure.
At the end of the day, who gives a fuck?
If you get more out of it, that's fine.
It is interesting to see, though, that even through tragedy, you will get, matter of fact, you get even more clout and more attention in tragedy.
I wonder what happens next with them when they go, oh, we were really popping when there was some drama.
We're not really popping when we're getting people over there pill addiction.
But when we got some fucked up shit going on in the family, everybody was watching.
Hey, Jaden, you might want to go public about that little drug addiction you got.
Hey, Willow, you might want to go public about that older boyfriend you got.
I wonder if they taste it.
Do you see real rumors?
No, no, I'm making things up.
Like, I wonder if they get a little taste of the, what is it, the dark side, the dark force.
You will taste that Kardashian fame.
Right?
But, like, you know, in Star Wars, how like the force.
Oh, yeah, the dark side.
The dark side, like, you're like, ooh, that shit's tasty.
Like, the black Spider-Man outfit.
You're like, ooh, this power feels good.
Right.
I wonder if they get a taste if they start leaning in.
It makes sense.
Like, this was the most viewed Facebook video, I think, of all time.
Like, in terms of velocity.
They're not going back.
Say what you want about these people.
And by these people, I mean entertainers, but specifically the Smith family.
If you're in entertainment, you have some sort of addiction to attention.
You know what I mean?
Ourselves included.
We're in this.
Once you get that taste, it takes unreal discipline to not lean into it.
It's one of the things I think that we're actually exceptional at at this, if we can toot our own horn here.
We know that we can have a porn star on the show every single week and it's going to do insane views.
But we haven't.
We specifically talk about the things we want to talk about and how we want to talk about them.
We shunned money if it doesn't go against it.
We really kept our integrity.
It's hard for motherfuckers to do that.
It's hard to do, especially when your movies are flopping.
Will hasn't had a hit in a minute.
Bro, it's been a long ass.
I don't think Jada ever had a hit.
I don't even know what she does.
Jada's hit was Will.
Jada's hit was Will.
Real talk.
She's had a lot of classic movies.
Anybody watch Woo except me?
And only for Tommy Davidson.
She's had movies, but she hasn't had a hit.
But she was low down, dirty shame?
She hasn't had like a huge hit recently, obviously.
Recently.
Bro, my homie said it.
Well, if it wasn't for Will, you would just be that girl who was on a different world for a couple of seasons.
Wow.
I don't think so.
What was she doing before that?
I don't think so.
Fuck God.
That's her credit as Will.
She was in Madagascar.
After Will.
Oh, we're talking about only after Will?
Just talk before Will.
What was her hitch?
What year was that where she got with Will?
Late 90s.
Okay, so everything prior to 98 was...
Different world.
Lowdown, dirty shame.
The nutty professor.
The nutty professor.
I think that was after Will, too, I think.
No, no, maybe it was.
The menace to society.
There's no question like having an incredibly powerful and famous husband is going to help you with your career.
Yeah.
Right?
Hillary Clinton.
That being said, you could also do things that are great and she did things prior to him.
Yeah.
Etc.
The thing is, are they going to be able to take a taste of this and turn it down?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I think so to an extent.
Think my interpretation of this is that they just love to control the narrative.
The reason why they came to the table is because the narrative was getting out of their hands.
Like they're nice.
Because they lied about it.
Yeah.
They lied about the narrative, though.
But I hear, but I hear what you're saying.
I think you're on it.
Keep it right.
Because we've never really seen Will do this.
Will doesn't have to address any rumors about him.
He's always just staying.
People calling Will gay for fucking decades.
Never addressed it.
But this one is like, yo, okay, now it's affecting home.
It's affecting the kids, most likely, and shit like that.
And there's so much attention and shit is a little dry right now.
We can spin this in a way where we come out on top.
It's a learning, what's it called?
Like I'm learning momentum or some shit.
She gays to put this out.
Whereas I'm pretty sure she got the fucking whoever Tristan Thompson cheated on with the Jordan, whatever.
She got that bitch on faster and she put out her own thing.
Do you think it affects movie rules for him if he looks like a bitch?
If he looks like he's like simping for Jada, it's interesting.
He can't be a leading man.
Like, you know how they like blackball like gay dudes from being leading men.
Yep.
I don't think so because at the end of the day, people are still clapping like, oh, he's, he did the right thing.
Like, Jada made this little mishap and he came to the table as a man and like all the guys dealt with it.
There was one line where Will said, I'm going to get you back.
And Jada was like, you did.
You did plenty.
Oh, like.
That's his way of saving his manhood within the craft.
You watched the whole thing?
It's 12 minutes.
12 minutes.
I watched the whole long one.
I'm gay.
There's way 40 minutes.
I already watched one.
I can't get 12 more to refute the 40 minutes.
There's way more to this story.
Like way more to this story.
Because in the beginning, they talk about like, oh, we were at the point of not even knowing if we were going to speak again.
And the public, the public did not.
That was her spin.
Is we were separated.
August didn't ask for your permission because he didn't need your permission.
We were separated.
That's her.
I did okay.
So August lied about permission.
So, yeah, which is he would tell the truth about the affair, but lie about getting permission.
That seems weird to me.
No, but then she addressed that too.
Because she said, so when they first, I guess, started to fuck or whatever the case was, Will wasn't even in the picture.
But then Will started to come back into the picture.
So they had a talk just to like, you know, like, we're cool, whatever the case is.
Because she did address that.
Like, she can see how he might have took it as asking for permission, but it was really just on some, let's just clear the air so shit isn't weird around here.
I don't believe that either.
Nobody asked Jaden.
Jaden?
Jaden?
Yeah.
Ask his permission, yo.
You're not going to smoke out of it.
I believe I believe everything August said.
Really?
Yeah.
Why would he lie?
Outside of promoting the album.
I mean, that's a big reason why.
Yo, what's weird is that I haven't heard a single song off this fucking album.
Has anyone listened to that one?
No.
Is that shit good?
I don't know.
They redirected.
I mean, he must have written a song.
You got to give her some bars.
Here's what I would say, though.
From what I thought, my perception of August Alcina is I would see his name and I'll be like, yo, I think this guy puts out good music.
I remember liking some of it before, but he hadn't cracked off.
Why does nobody know who he is?
Now we know who he is.
This seemed like the missing element was attention.
And then here you go.
He got the fame was fucking a 50-year-old woman.
It's also Will Smith's wife.
You snatched up Will Smith's.
She's his wife.
That's different.
She's beautiful, yo.
She is stunning for her age.
Her mom is gorgeous.
You've seen Jada's.
So that's why it's like, he, there's plenty of points for that.
And it's Will's wife.
Like, you took Will Smith's wife.
Well, he didn't take Will Smith's wife.
That's what the narrative is saying.
Will Smith and his wife broken up.
And then she started dating him.
I think that part, I don't know if that part is true.
I think my interpretation of what he said the first time is, they have an open relationship.
Will was cool with it.
And then they, the Smiths, were like, all right, how do we spin this?
We don't want this open relationship shit out to me.
So how do we spin this?
That's right.
Either that or she cheated while they were separated and she filed for that.
How much do you think this had to do with both of her kids now being out of the house, having their own independent lives and like being adults, and her wanting to like nurture and take care of something?
Like empty nest syndrome, I think it's called.
How much do you think was that?
I don't know.
But this is four years ago.
I think they were still in this house at that age.
There's four years ago.
This is four years ago.
I think they were still in the crib.
They were?
Her nest wasn't the thing that was empty.
I don't think that.
I think she is.
I'm just saying, like.
And they speak about their house.
They can be in the same house and not see each other.
Like, she'd be at this end of the house if he had that in herself.
I just feel like, I don't know.
I just feel like it's really tricky for moms when they go from like their entire life, like sustaining a child and like raising a child and keeping that child alive.
And all of a sudden, that child is gone.
It's like all this purpose is removed.
She wasn't happy before.
Empty Nest Relationship Trust00:03:41
They're not questioning her happiness.
What happened is, but a child can distract you from your unhappiness because it is something to do every single second of every single day.
It's often why people who are unhappy have kids.
They're in bad relationships.
They're like, hey, let's have a kid.
Maybe this kid will save our relationship.
Very common.
And it creates tons of problems, but you can ignore the problems when you're focused on keeping this fucking thing alive.
And I wonder if dating the younger guy who needed a lot of like emotional coaching and like nurturing was the perfect relationship in the same way that like, like I look at gay dudes and I'm like, man, you guys got the fucking best relationship, right?
Because it's just you guys like sports and shit.
Everything you like is the same and you've like fucking each other.
It's just the best, right?
It's just the best.
It's the ideal.
Like my girl wants to watch cooking shows all day.
Some gay guy not gonna do that.
He's gonna put on a fucking Redskins game.
We're not Redskins anymore, but you know what I mean.
So it's like maybe that's the ideal relationship for her.
She's like, I get to get cracked out by this thing and raise it.
Like, I wonder if on some level, she's like, this is perfect.
I have empty nests.
This thing is going to fill the nest.
And I get to nurture as well.
Even if her kids live with her, they're very independent.
And there is a part of her I think that's broken.
My homie said it well because he was like, I dated a girl like that, where like they present themselves as like strong, black, blah, blah, blah, independent, don't eat nothing.
Those girls are usually the most broken.
So if you're broken, you know what can help you feel better is fixing somebody else.
That can give you some purpose.
I wonder if you want to bail out Jade Lamore.
She wants to help him.
I'm not bailing this bitch out at all.
I'm saying if we wanted to, she wants to help someone.
She wants to nurture something.
And then it's August that's like, yo, she's being really nice to me.
She's really making me feel important.
Yeah.
He's the one that's like, yo, are we fucking?
Yeah, that's really what it is.
Hundreds caught failing.
She looked at him just like a little toy, and then she cut him off.
And then that's when he started making music about her.
Because like in his previous album, he had a song about their relationship coded, though.
He didn't say her name or whatever the race was.
And that shit didn't hit.
So he was like, nah, I'm coming out.
Call up.
That came out a while ago, I thought.
And then I still, we should fact check this.
But again, I think she was on his fucking, he was on her show last year.
So she says at the beginning, we haven't talked in four years.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
They're making tons of shit.
And this whole shit was edited.
You can see some cuts and shit like that.
So definitely it was longer.
I don't trust none of these.
I can help you.
I'm on TV, motherfuckers.
I don't trust Dr. Phil.
Oprah ain't shit.
I've been saying that.
Jade is just a new Oprah.
I die on both these hills.
Hey, fuck both y'all.
Wait a minute.
You're talking fuck Will Smith?
No.
Hey, you all right, bro.
I don't think you want to be there.
All right, guys.
Right now, some of you might be listening to this on your saggy ass mattress is trash.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
Native Land Reparations Talk00:15:49
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Helix.com/slash flagrant.
Let's get back to the show.
Let's transition a little bit here.
Back to the swimsuits?
No, the Redskins have said they're going to change their logo.
Yeah.
Logo or team name?
Both.
Yeah, team name.
Team mascot, logo, everything changing.
Okay, does it still reflect Native Americans?
I think the money is on them going to Washington Warriors.
I think they've already trained.
I'm still Native American.
And Native Americans have a problem with that.
Can I say something?
Okay, go.
So they said they wanted to change the name to something that honored Native Americans.
Yeah.
And whoever speaks for Native Americans, they're like, nah, we don't want anything to do with the team at all.
Because it's like it makes, I forgot the word they use.
Like, it's like, hey, you can say negative things about this team.
Like, I hate the blank.
Right.
So I spoke to a bunch of Native Americans about this, right?
Because a lot of them DM'd me.
Yeah.
And I was like, yo, so what's the deal?
And they were like, when we see the mascots, I think we spoke about it maybe on Patreon, right?
And it was like, when we see the logos, we look at it kind of in the same way like black people look at blackface in terms of the Sambo character, where it's this like cartoonish version of us.
Cleveland Indians one for sure, I can tell you.
Cleveland Indians one is the most absurd one.
Now, you know, he's like, I'm sure there's certain ones that aren't cartoonish.
And then we actually like that.
We're like, oh, that's sick.
That kind of like reflects my ancestry.
That kind of stuff is fine.
So it's a case-by-case basis.
But like you said, the Blackhawks, the Blackhawk tribe gave permission to Chicago.
Right.
I think the Seminoles gave permission as well.
So there's certain people who give permission or certain tribes give permission.
But it's an interesting thing with the Redskins specifically because like, and I've been thinking about this a lot this week.
You know that the colonizers must have felt they were fighting with unfair tactics if you're going to give credit to the Native Americans and name a lot of shit after them.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Yeah.
Because like guilt shit.
Yes.
Like if you had a tough fight with somebody, it's fucked them forever.
Like it's fucked Nazis forever.
It's fuck like anybody that you beef like Armenia and like Turkey, it's fuck each other forever.
Greece and Turkey, it's fuck each other forever.
Ain't no, hey, we got to name some shit after, you know, these Greek guys because they were pretty good at fighting.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
It's a fair fight.
Fuck them.
Yeah, like something, right?
Somebody handed off blankets to give them diseases as gifts.
You're like, yeah, I don't know how much of that is true.
I read about that.
Like, that wasn't.
Just a general point.
You're fighting unfairly.
You might feel a little bit like, ah, that was kind of fucked up.
I think the unfair amount of fighting was technological.
So, like, I think when you have guns and these motherfuckers are throwing bow and arrows and they're still putting up a good fight, you're like, all right, man, you got to give it up to them.
Like, they're warriors.
They're warriors.
Exactly.
I would say like England, like America's fight for independence.
We still have New York.
We still have English Street, English Town.
Like, there's all this British shit here.
And I don't think the Revolutionary War was like easy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but oh, yeah.
Okay.
But doesn't that kind of...
Yeah, but that would be like if they won.
If England won?
That'd be like if the Native Americans won.
No, no, no.
But I mean, America won, and then we still honor England by naming some of the shit after them.
But it was already named.
Maybe.
I don't know what the hell.
Yeah, nobody renamed the shit after England.
Yeah, yeah.
And also, that's totally different because your ancestry is there.
So like you have some connection to your family.
It's like if an Italian neighborhood, you want to name a street Giuseppe Street.
It's because you love Giuseppe, who lives in Sicily or something.
You have some connection.
Even though you fought the motherfuckers in World War II, you still got a connection.
Natives got no connection whatsoever.
I don't know.
It's just something.
It's just something so odd to me.
Like if it was that much beef, if there was that much hatred, if there was that much racism, there was this horrible treatment of Native Americans, why the fuck we naming everything after them?
Like college teams, high school teams, professional teams, streets, town.
Like you don't got to name streets.
You can name a street numbers.
Most streets are named numbers.
But they go out of the way to go Manahata, Mamont Montalk, all these different places.
It's not like we haven't renamed shit.
Matter of fact, Native Americans, they owned everything and we named a lot of it.
This is called Fifth Avenue.
It wasn't called Fifth Avenue back in the day.
So like, what the fuck?
Something's weird, right?
Why would you have so much reverence for a group of people that you treated so shitty?
Does that make any sense?
I mean, is it possible that the way we remember history isn't the way it actually was?
So, I think that is the exact truth of the matter.
So, what are we missing from the historical record here?
What are we missing from the historical record with Native Americans that like there's a missing piece of this puzzle?
If you hate and treat people so horribly like we did, you don't have the same reverence to like name so many things after them.
It's off.
Are you like comparing the way America acts towards Native Americans and then the way America acts towards African Americans?
No, I'm just saying the way that America has treated Native Americans, right, is it doesn't seem consistent with how many things we name after them and things that we look up to.
It's not like you're naming shit that you're like embarrassed about.
You're naming your team, which is all your state's pride, or your college team, which is all your college pride.
But I think America feels they did right by the Native Americans by designating land to them and you don't have to pay taxes.
Oh, so you think America was like, oh, you part of us now?
We think you're pretty cool.
So we'll just name you this shit after.
They say we made shit right.
Huh.
Again, we got to get a name on.
There's this native guy.
I believe his name is Bobby.
I'm going to mess up the last name.
But I'm going to reach out to him and we'll get him on to answer some of these questions because it is peculiar, right?
Yeah.
I mean, would Indians just name some shit after like Patrick?
I was thinking it could be like, oh, we give him a team name, so we're even.
So it's their donations.
It's like their reparations in their mind.
Like if you ask them, what do you think black people deserve for slavery?
They'd be like, I don't know, like 100 bucks.
Oh, my God.
A couple Laffy Taffies.
Hey, we're going to build this school on your native burial land.
But you know what we're going to do?
We're going to name it the Chiefs is going to be the mascot.
Lucky off.
All good, right?
We're good.
So it's a token performative, you know, thanks, performative act of progress, but it's really bullshit.
Yeah, like the casinos.
Well, no, casinos is real.
That's reparations.
They make money off.
That's the fucking mint.
Yeah, but I mean, they're not really making money off of it.
They could if they got the shit together.
They knew how to do it.
Yeah.
That's on them.
But like, giving someone the right to have a casino is like literally just a printing press.
Can't lose.
I mean, we're going to make gambling legal everywhere soon, but so we'll see how long it lasts.
But the idea was, yeah, you can, here you go, make money.
Is it possible Native Americans just called that shit the names way back in the day, and that's just what everyone called it for hundreds of years?
No, like the Redskins formed in like 1940, whatever.
The Redskins.
No, but I'm saying, like, yeah, Redskins, maybe, but, like, if you're in like Seminole, Florida, or whatever, and you're like, oh, yeah, that's Seminole country up there.
That's where the Seminole Indians are or whatever.
Yeah, some of it.
And then you're like, Montauk, same thing.
Like, if that's like Indians are like, yo, this is Montauk.
And then everyone's like, oh, what's that place called?
Oh, it's called Montauk.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's what that is.
And so then when you describe like a team or something, you're like, oh, yeah, what's the team name?
Like, oh, this is just what people from around.
Some of it, sure.
But then the Cleveland Indians, the Washington Redskins, the Kansas City Chiefs.
Right.
Like, these aren't tribes.
It would be the Montauk swimmers or the Montauk surfers or whatever.
It's not the Montauk Native Americans.
You got no Native Americans on the team.
It's just odd.
Right.
Something's going on here.
And I think you guys might be onto it.
Yeah.
It's this like fake gift.
It's reparations.
Yeah, an interesting thing that happened, this Supreme Court ruling, that half of Oklahoma is like considered a Native American reservation.
So they can't be charged with crimes and civil situations within that area.
So basically, Native American go up, shoot you, and they can't do anything.
I think there's something tricky with that.
It's like they can't be charged with like city or state crimes, but I think they still are like under federal designations, right?
Yeah.
But yeah, that's true.
Like speeding tickets, all that kind of shit, because they have their own police.
That's wild.
And I think that you could look this up to make sure, but there is something interesting.
I think that Tesla has a factory there.
Look this up to make sure.
And then someone's like, yo, Elon, how do you feel about the fact that your factory is on native land now?
And that might be really interesting because they could be like, yo, we're going to need a little piece of that.
I think.
That'd be great.
Yo, there's no one.
I think they're making a pitch to Tesla.
They're making a pitch to Tesla to bring it.
There's a guy that did that in the Dirty Money series on Netflix.
Okay.
It's so good.
He's, I forgot what he was, but he basically like set up a company and hit up these Native American chiefs.
They were like, yo, you want to be a founder?
And they were like, oh, that's brilliant.
What do I got to do?
And he's like, oh, nothing.
I'm just going to funnel my company through you, give you $100,000 a year for nothing.
They fell for the founding trick again.
Yo, you want to found America?
No, it's going to work out.
No, it's more like, you found America.
Appreciate you.
Your job is done.
It's safe.
Apparently, that shit worked, though.
They were getting money and they were getting crazy kickbacks and tack release and all that stuff.
That's why, like, you ever see dudes on the street selling hats or selling like shirts or whatever like that?
There's one old dude that got a necklace with a badge on it.
Yeah.
And it's permission to sell.
And I think it's easier to get those if you're a veteran.
Right?
So they're giving certain people the ability to sell things on the street.
Obviously, there's so much street traffic in New York City.
Right.
You know, those are very coveted.
There's only two things you could sell that aren't that you don't need a badge for Christmas trees and books.
You could just sell Christmas trees and books on the streets of New York.
But everything else are records, all these different things that we see growing up watching.
So what I think a lot of people do is they find the veteran and go, yo, you want to just sit here with us?
We'll do all the work.
Oh, shit.
Or we'll partner up on it.
And you can make money on the street.
So if you're doing the tax thing with Native Americans, if the idea is I don't have to pay federal taxes, the corporation gets taxed at 30% and makes $10 million.
It's $3 million.
Well, I'm going to just pay you a million.
So I profit too.
You get a million.
Let's go.
Bro, literally, you could say, I'll give you $3 million.
Yeah.
And it's even.
And you don't got to deal with the IRS breathing down your neck every two seconds, auditing you, all that shit.
You could give them all the money just for not having a headache.
I even think there's subsidies that go along with it, too.
Oh, that's right, because you want to build up that land.
If you're like a native-owned company, like you get government subsidies, yo, you want to do black reparations, yo?
Black reparations?
Take Atlanta.
Son, you'd think they would give us Atlanta.
Nah, exactly.
Like, come on.
I mean, you're taking it anyway.
If y'all keep breaking enough shit, they might be like a talk.
We're talking about the 40 acres.
Fuck the mule.
Just give us the land.
What neighborhoods do black people want?
Go.
Son, real talk.
We could take any land as long as not like Alaska or some shit like that.
Nah, because you know how picky black people are.
Yo, Roy has a cold.
It's cold out here.
Real land is wet.
Roy in the funny premise.
He said, What if we all took our stimulus checks as black people and just bought Montana?
And then we just, that's ours.
Montana's, that's black land now.
What do you do?
See, you pick a place that most of us don't even know where it is on the map.
I don't know where my land is.
Well, it can't be a place white people want, man.
You had a ghost.
White people love Montana.
They only want to see that.
That's white people's shit.
It's like 12 white people and Phil Jackson.
This is what white people do, though.
They front, because I went to Montana.
What Montana does is it doesn't do any PR for Montana.
They specifically.
They greenland that shit.
Yup.
What about the Dakotas?
Dakotas are trash?
Yo, you could get South Sides.
You could kill South.
South Dakota.
You could get a South.
And y'all love South Sides.
Yo, that could be kind of lit.
Black people go, just give us one place.
We're going to build that shit up ourselves.
And then you have crazy tax subsidies.
You have all this other shit.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a friendly South for once?
Shit, bro.
A South where you're accepted is black people got to take South Dakota.
We would get that.
We would definitely.
Think about it.
All the cuisine, the food.
You could do grills.
There could be such.
Nah, for real.
You got both grills.
Kraeger and Paul Wall.
Paul Wall's allowed to live there.
You're showing your age.
Girls ain't even in no more, son.
Grills are still in.
They're not in no more.
Son.
Come on, son.
I'm a black man.
That's a good point.
Yo, come on.
I know about grills, dog.
Grills are popping.
You should wear yours.
You got to set, right?
I do, you got to say.
I do got to say.
I'm not exactly.
I got two.
I got one on Wildin' Out, and then I got one from Paul Wall.
Come on, son.
These girls, it is what it is.
Look.
But I think that is an interesting idea.
Take the land and then give the whatever rules you are allowed to have on your land dictate the success of that land.
Son, will there be a louder state than South Dakota?
Son, imagine being North Dakota.
Like, yo, can you turn it down?
Like, put a knocking on the fucking border wall.
Can we build a dome?
They start call all North Dakota Karen.
All Dakotas matter, guys.
Yo, this is fire, bro.
I think that's the move.
So forget, defund the police.
Y'all can have your own police.
Oh, there you go.
I'm with it.
I'm with it.
If we have land, a good amount, too.
It's a whole state.
It's a Dakota.
Now you're getting.
We don't know how big that shit is.
You got to negotiate from a position of leverage.
Yeah.
Our leverage is guilt and guilt alone.
Yeah.
So with 13% of the population, give us a state that's 13% of the land.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Yeah, I'm not.
All right, fine, but then all y'all got to move there.
Not all of us.
Well, then, no, you're going to give me 13% and not all y'all are moving there.
All right.
10.
I like how we're America.
You see how we already bullied you out of fucking 3%?
Yeah, but don't take no for an answer.
Yo, you know, but we get to stay everywhere.
That's very realistic about this.
If this negotiation is.
Yo, you need Russell to negotiate for real.
Nah, we're taking it.
Nah, that's, I think this is an interesting thing.
You got to get land.
You got to get specific rights.
Because the interesting thing about this is, once you get your land and you could do whatever you want on it, if it fails, white people get to go, hey, you tried.
You could.
Yep.
Now, white people got to be willing to do to say, okay, you got it.
That's it.
You fucking, you failed.
That is what it is.
And they got to be willing to accept it when it thrives.
Yes.
That's the big part.
And then they got to be like, all right, we fucked up.
We shouldn't have been.
We're the best at doing a lot with a little.
So you don't need 13.
Let's give it down to like 6%.
2%.
Not 10.
10.
And we get to stay.
Okay, real question.
On behalf of black people.
We're only in like three states.
Real question.
On behalf of black people.
Chris Genius Sex Tape Strategy00:06:22
What if we just gave you all the Native American land?
And we're like, yo, we tried with the natives.
It ain't work.
They're getting real ornery about the football teams.
It's starting to bother us.
You could already be the Blackhawks.
That's close.
You know what I mean?
You get to keep the casinos too.
You get to keep everything that's there.
What happens to the natives, though?
Son, the title numbers alone.
Like the amount of money they make off Lotto.
It's going to be wild.
What happens to the natives?
You get to have the natives, bro.
You get to have them.
You get to have slaves.
Whatever you want to do.
You just restart America.
We're going to restart America.
And we're going to be like, well, what would you do then?
Let's see what you would have done in our situation.
It really looked like Hamilton on there, bro.
We all real son.
Real to imagine they enslaved the natives immediately.
They got them working in fields.
Rapping at all their meetings.
I think we would all come together.
Black people would be like, yeah, we get it.
Yeah, we get like, you know.
They just got to rap politics.
They just rap politics.
We would have all we would have learned it all by now.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
What else we got?
Enough of this serious talk.
Chance and Ye.
Yeah, what y'all think about that?
I could give a fuck about both of them.
All right.
So, just a quick thing.
I just thought it was funny because Chance was supporting Ye's run for president and people were killing him online.
And then Terry Cruz quote tweeted him and said, Oh, you got your eye open and you're open-minded.
And then he like quickly ran off.
That's when he realized how fucking stupid he sounded supporting Kanye for president.
Dumbass thing to do.
Yo, and then you know what bothered me?
Let me say this real quick.
He tries to support Ye by talking about Ye's mom.
And he's like, You want me to vote for Biden?
Get the fuck out of here.
Ye's mom has nothing to do with Ye.
Ye was raised by that woman and then married Kim Kardashian.
So obviously he don't know what the fuck he's doing.
But then what do you mean by that?
Yo, if you were raised by this powerful woman, he played it.
Ye posted a video of his mom reciting some woke-ass KRS-1 lyrics.
And Chance was like, and you guys want me to vote for Biden?
S-M-H, S-M-F-H, whatever.
We're not talking about Kanye's mom, who's a fucking powerful woman from what we've heard.
We're talking about the Kanye, who was raised by that mom and was like, hey, do I want to marry somebody like that?
Not at all.
Let me marry Kim Kardashian.
That's the polar opposite.
You're not a good decision maker, is Kanye.
You were raised by the best mom.
You married the worst woman.
Right, right.
Why is she the worst woman?
What about her is good?
There's probably some good attributes, but I agree that making a sex tape and getting famous from it is probably not like an honorable thing to do.
Yeah, you think Kanye's mom would have liked Kim?
Yo, but that was innovative.
Nah, Paris did that.
Yo, she stole that from Paris, yo.
Nah, but she didn't make it famous because of it.
Paris?
Yeah.
Paris Hilton was famous because of it.
Where's she at now?
Bitch was signed to Young Money Records.
That's Chris.
Chris, the genius, yo.
Wait, Paris' tape came out before Kim's?
Yeah, well before.
Yeah, but the thing is.
Kim was on Paris's show.
Yeah, she used to be like a lackie.
But here's the thing: Kim did a sex tape and then became a legitimate celebrity and arguably like one of the most famous people in the world.
Yes.
Paris did a sex tape and became a joke.
She was a caricature of herself.
But that's so Chris, yo.
She a mastermind.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
That being said, you got to put some respect on that, man.
Like, she made, she made.
I won't ever.
I don't know, bro.
I do.
I put some respect on it, man.
She found a way.
I will never.
I will never put respect on Kardashian.
What?
I got to respect the Kardashians.
Kim is the evil Chris.
You got to respect Kim.
is a absolute sociopathic genius she don't give a fuck about nothing she whatever the story that gets us ratings next year and keeps us relevant let's do it yo put a crack pipe in lamar's hands let's go i don't give a yeah that's the evil genius kim i respect him stupid ass kim i respect him like a crime family like yeah like like i just respect like a mob boss i'm like oh you do foul like you kill people whatever they get away with murder But yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
You got to respect them.
They know what they're doing.
It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris is a genius.
It's like all these comics that are like broke and they're like talk about some like hacky comic that like does voices.
They're like, he does voices.
It's like do voices.
Because you have four roommates and you walk dogs for them.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like start doing some voices.
Like figure it out because you can't kill.
Right.
So I feel like the thing with the Kardashians, don't get me wrong.
I have no respect for anybody's opinion that does sex work.
Obviously.
Don't get me wrong.
100%.
But that is separate than what you've done with that.
Right?
Potato, potato.
You know what I mean?
It's different.
There is something fundamentally different.
What you do with the attention you get.
Your fucking experience is how you get the attention is completely different, right?
So if you get attention doing some stupid shit, like Takashi69 does stupid shit to get attention.
What he does with the attention, brilliant.
Lowest common denominator, get it.
What he does with it, brilliant.
Kim Kardashian, lowest common denominator to get it.
What shit they do with it and how they flipped it into a fucking empire.
If you don't respect that as brilliance, shit, bro.
They don't understand the game.
They are marketing geniuses.
I will never, I didn't say I didn't respect their marketing ability.
I just don't respect them as humans.
Nobody asking you to.
That's what I said.
That's all I said.
I'm not asking you to respect them.
That's all I said.
I love that, but I just love the fact that they could take the worst shit and make some lemonade out of it.
The worst possible thing, they're going to find a way.
That is genius.
There is some genius there.
Yeah, no, no.
More geniuses, I think Chris was like, hey, you have a private sex tape?
There's ingredients for lemonade here.
Let's go ahead and just release it.
She knew before anybody that all attention was good attention.
She's a fucking genius.
We didn't sit down with that bitch.
I would love to do a podcast with her, like a real talk.
I bet you the OJ trial is what made it for her.
That's where she realized?
I think that her husband is defending the worst man in the world.
And he becomes famous.
And becomes a hero.
And it's like, I mean, obviously, I don't think OJ is the worst man in the world, but like he was like the unfavorable person because most people thought he was a good person.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
And so he's defending like what's seen as a murderer and still becomes a celebrity.
And she saw what a circus that all was and she was like, huh, none of this seems.
I think she, that's when she understood the game.
100%.
That's a great thing.
Look, she sees that all attention is good attention.
We can flip this, that you can be a hero even if you're defending a villain, as long as people love the villain.
LeBron Jersey Name Controversy00:15:20
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So we have NBA players catching Rona.
Of course.
Restbook, James Harding, and people are leaving the bubble.
I'll be honest with you, bro.
Yep.
This is my prediction right now.
What's up?
I don't know if NBA players have the discipline to get through this season.
Really?
I think they're going to fly hoes in.
That one girl says, I already got invited to the bubble.
Yeah.
I think they're going to fly hoes in.
I think that somebody's going to get Corona and that bubble is going to be, I mean, so everybody's going to be so interconnected that that shit is going to start to get shared around and that's going to be spread and they're going to shut down the season.
That's my prediction.
I don't think they're capable of staying in that bubble.
They got invited to the bubble too early.
Who?
The NBA players.
They have damn near a month of practice before the season starts.
You need to just get them tested.
If they're clean, yo, we're starting games right now.
But you know why they had to go?
Because people kept getting fucking Corona at these practice facilities.
They shut down Denver's.
I think they shut down Milwaukee's.
They shut down all these different practice facilities.
They're like, we got to get people here, quarantine them, and then it's done.
So they have to practice so they don't all get injured.
I understand that.
That being said, all it takes is one or two people getting in there, and you're in that close proximity, breathing all over each other.
Done.
Yep.
Aren't they getting tested often though?
Often.
I think they're getting the, what is it called?
The temperature checks.
But you can have it for a while without having a fever.
I also think it's not going to be the stars that fuck it up.
Well, one or two might, but it's mainly going to be the role players.
The rumor is that Mo Harkless flew this girl out.
Mo Harkless, you got no fucking business flying anybody out.
Bro, that girl, the one that said the one that said I got flow, I got invited.
I already got invited to the bubble.
Rumor is it's Mo Harkless.
I don't know if that's true.
Because the only NBA player that follows her is Nick Young.
One guy.
I don't got no fucking business.
And he's not even in the league.
How are you in the bubble?
Oh, yeah.
And that's probably once that story broke.
He was like, let me unfollow you.
He would follow.
He's the only one dumb enough to actually follow the groupie.
Yeah.
Like, most guys are just like, no, we can just DM her and everything's going to be fine.
But I guarantee Pussy's going to be a problem.
I mean, like, Hard and Westbrook already got it.
Yeah.
Right?
So they're not going until that shit is gone.
Harding will get it twice.
Might.
He might.
He really might.
I just can't.
I really do not believe they end up finishing the season.
Now, you might capture the people that have it so quickly that you can get them out of there, but I think teams are going to be significantly depleted.
And I think people are just going to...
Whoever wins this year, it's not going to be the best team.
That's what I'm saying.
If you're the Mavericks, obviously, as a Mavericks fan, you got talent on your roster.
You got two stars.
Everybody be disciplined.
We will win the, we can win the fucking championship.
So then do you guys take back the no asterisks for the season?
No, it's going to be an asterisk.
I say no asterisks.
I think you both played.
I think it's an asterisk if big players go down.
That's the only thing I said asks.
But shouldn't it just be either asterisks or no asterisk?
Nah, because for me, it depends.
Like, you really can't control it.
You know what I mean?
Like, if you know you're playing on a bad knee and then you tear your ACL, you knew your knee was bad.
But to me, you made the choice to go back out there.
But I was going to say something about, fuck, I forgot.
Sorry, my bad.
What was I saying?
If you win the season.
Oh, that wins the season.
The only team is going to win.
Is the most disciplined team.
And if you want to find out what that team is, just see whose players are the least active on social media.
If you're a gambling man, you see J.R. Smith on his fucking Snapchat and Instagram live, making fucking Instagram videos about the bubble.
And look at the food we got.
And look at all this shit, sharing everything.
The teams that aren't doing that, the teams that are locked in, the teams that are disciplined, those are the teams that got a chance because people are going to lose their fucking mind in there.
And there are going to be players there who are like, I want to leave.
I can't.
Like, if we lose this season, we get swept.
Let's go.
Fine.
I'm done.
Who are the teams?
Are the Bucks really actors?
Raptors.
There's one player on the Raptors that is messaging or like tweeting.
Sergeabaco is the only player.
Yeah.
I haven't heard from Lowry.
I haven't heard from the African Du Siakam.
I haven't heard from Van Fleet.
I haven't heard from any Raptors players.
Van Fleet didn't even want to go.
Is that right?
You know what?
Also could be a big indicator.
If you got a lot of players that didn't want to go on the team, they're going to be the most cautious within the battle.
That's a great point.
A lot of people are like, yo, I don't want to fucking do this.
This isn't safe.
Those are the guys that are going to be out there.
They're not going to be whatever.
They're probably going to be on their teammates like, yo, do not fly this bitch in out of your fucking mind.
They're going to be the ones that are the most vigilant.
They're the Alexes of this thing.
We need people like that to be like, yo, don't fucking wild out.
I swear to God.
And if they're good players in particular, now you really got power.
Now, the other side of discipline is showing up to the bubble in a hazmat suit.
Yes.
That's what Joellen B did.
Right?
So you, yes, it's a funny joke.
Yes, it's cool, but it shows that your head's not there.
It shows that you want to be a social media character, which is great, which is fun.
That's what we love Embiid.
He's got this amazing personality, but he's not locked in.
I haven't seen LeBron do anything besides play NBA 2K.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, I haven't seen LeBron really tweeting, Instagram posting, at least nothing going viral by it.
Davis not really seeming to say shit.
He don't say much in general.
Anthony Davis was with LeBron on the 2K thing where they were like actually playing with people.
You saw that?
They're like, and they were just like hanging out and people are following them, but it was in the game.
Like you can walk around the courts and shit in the game.
It doesn't matter.
But like, to me, you're kind of locked in.
LeBron James has unbelievable mental discipline.
And I know we knocked him a lot earlier in his career for it, but it is something that I've seen like this just wild improvement.
I remember.
I think because we knocked him early in his school.
He was like, I got to get this down.
I remember when Charlamagne, we were talking to him about when he was on the shop and they edited him out.
No, we were teasing about that, but I asked him, what is that thing that these great people have?
Or he asked a question.
Kevin Love was on there.
Kevin Love said LeBron has crazy focus.
Like when he locks in, it's unlike anything he's ever seen.
And I think that's a big, there's certain characteristics GOAT has, GOATs have.
I think one is a lot of energy.
I think another one is a crazy level of focus that can lock in on this one thing.
What do you all think about the back of the jerseys?
So like the NBA said you can put whatever, not whatever you want.
There's like a list of approved sayings to put on your back of your jersey.
You right?
Can you get those up?
Which are the other ones?
But like you can put Black Lives Matter, like Kyle Corver's doing Black Lives Matter.
You can, excuse me, make a statement with where your name would go in a jersey.
You read about this?
Yeah, I've read about it.
I didn't know they were going to go through with it.
So yeah, they've gone through with it.
They have a list of things that guys can put on the back of their jersey.
And it was part of the negotiation of the players coming back to the bubble and the different things that they can do to promote Black Lives Matter and promote everything that's going on.
These are some of them right here.
So Black Lives Matter.
Actually, can you remove that out?
It's a little harder for me to read if you have that.
Black Lives Matter.
Say their name, names, vote.
I can't breathe.
Justice, peace, equality, freedom, enough.
Power to the people.
Justice Now.
Say her name.
Si se puebe.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Liberation.
See us, hear us, respect us, love us, listen, listen to us, stand up, ally, anti-racist.
I am a man.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Hey, yo.
That's a little problematic, huh?
Yeah, WNBA jersey is going to be stacked with this.
Speak up.
How many more?
Group economics, education reform, and mentor.
So you can put any of those approved on the back.
And LeBron, and I believe Kawhi and a bunch of players have chose not to do it.
And their argument is, you know what I do for the community.
And it's undeniable what he does for the community.
It is interesting, though.
Does he view that as performative and not really doing change?
And is he saying, hey, this isn't really how you make a difference?
But he's worn an I Can't Breathe shirt in pregame warm-ups.
And also, I would say that, like, for his argument, I go, metal world peace didn't make more world peace.
Right?
Does it just seem like a gimmick?
And maybe he's, is he like, look, having that on the back of my jersey is going to make more people realize that Black Lives Matter.
I have a thing personally, and maybe he has the same thing where it's like, I don't want to feel like I'm caving to social pressure to be woke.
Like, I'll do it if I want to do it.
I'm not going to do it because you're telling me.
Like, the Black Square on Instagram.
I was just like, I'm not doing it just because they negotiated for this, not the NBA.
This is the players associated with that.
Within that group, there might be a lot of pressure internally to be like, hey, guys, we should all do this.
And he's probably like, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.
I do plenty.
I'm not doing it because you want me to.
I'm doing it because I want to.
Right.
But it is interesting because he wore the I Can't Breathe shirt on the court.
Must have been valuable.
I would like to know his rationale for it.
Because some people might go like, oh.
Is this from him or this is what you think?
No, no, this is not from him.
Some people might say, he said that he's going to wear James on the back of his jersey.
But he didn't say why.
No, no.
Well, he said, like, you know what I do, and people know that he's going to have to prove it.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is like some people might go, it's easy to talk about reform and all that kind of stuff on Twitter, but the second you have to sacrifice something that's like part of your personal branding, all of a sudden you're like, you know what I do.
The second it doesn't say your name on it, it doesn't say King James on the back, it doesn't say James.
Keep it a buck too.
If you want to talk about like a lot of these things don't really carry weight, but if LeBron James wins a fourth title, whatever it is, with I Can't Breathe or I Am a Man or any one of those things on the back of his jersey, that's a powerful image that lives on forever.
You won the championship wearing that jersey with that on your back.
That carries through for generations, that image.
I mean, think about all the pictures that will be taken like on the court dunks and not even championship, just throughout the season.
Some crazy dunk you're elevating and in the back it says, Black Lives Matter and you're dunking on some white guy.
Like there'd be like some pretty iconic, crazy images that people go.
I don't know why.
Some people might not because it could be like an ego thing.
It's like, wait, wait, I got to not have my name on the back of his jersey.
I'm LeBron James.
That's what some people might say.
Kawhi said he's not going to do it either.
Kawhi is so locked in.
I don't think he even knows what.
I don't think he knows people are dying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't breathe.
He's like, well, just try to breathe.
Do you try to breathe?
That seems like the easiest way to breathe.
He's like, pregnant women do it.
It's just, it's just interesting to me.
I don't know.
It's just very interesting when given the idea, the ability to do it, a very small thing, the choice to not do it.
It doesn't cost anything.
Yeah, I know.
That's odd, right?
I thought you were going to talk about the NBA website and their ability to let you customize jerseys on there.
Have you seen this?
No.
So like with, in conjunction with this thing, the NBA website was like, yo, if you want to order jerseys, you can order jerseys and customize the back to whatever you want.
Right.
Except for a few certain things.
What?
All lives matter?
The one that you can't that a lot of people are talking about is free Hong Kong.
Oh So if you type in free Hong Kong into the website that says we're unable to customize this item with the text you have entered please try a different entry Wow.
And then people have like this litany of awful things that you can have instead.
You can have like fuck police, kill cops, burn Jews, all in the back of your jersey.
Except free Hong Kong.
I don't know what the official list is as far as like what's banned or what's not.
So they have all these terrible things on the back of these jerseys, but the one that they aren't allowing people to buy is free Hong Kong.
If you guys hear the barking Nass Cookie in the back.
Yo, that is crazy.
They will really just bend over and get fucked.
They will get bent.
The NBA will bend over and get fucked by China, huh?
Yo, isn't it crazy?
They're the entire reason you're in this fucking bubble, China.
And you want to say free Hong Kong?
That's embarrassing, yo.
Yeah, that's wild.
That's wild.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's.
Let me tell you something.
If Andrew starts a pandemic and you want to say, fuck Andrew, no matter how much money you put in my pocket, I'm going to be like, I get it.
I'm not going to wear the jersey if I get it.
That's the thing, man.
It's just so weird.
It's not weird.
It's embarrassing.
Well, that's what things happen where you start to question.
The care of a corporation.
And that's why it's so hard for corporations to be woke is because there's always going to be a part of that corporation that's going to put profit ahead of people.
And if you're a corporation, all your detractors have to do is find out where that part of your hypocrisy lies and then they can expose it.
Like right now, these people that are finding you can't say free Hong Kong, they're just people that don't care.
I imagine a lot of them don't even care about Hong Kong.
They're just anti-Black Lives Matter.
They're antagonizing.
Yeah, they're doing this completely to antagonize, but you leave yourself open to antagonization when you become this fake woke corporation.
But as a pretty moderate person, I think that doesn't make me less Black Lives Matter, but it does make me more.
Yo, the NBA man phony.
Fuck all this woke shit you're doing.
Right.
I still Black Lives Matter, but also y'all ain't shit.
Well, that's the thing.
And they're going to go, you don't care about Black Lives Matter.
You care about profit.
And you realize that right now being on the side of Black Lives Matter is profitable.
So like it really takes away from any efforts you've made at all.
And that's why they're starting a season now.
They're like, yo, we got money to make.
Y'all ready?
Yeah.
Nobody's watching TV.
You ready to make some money?
What's the best way for us to make money?
Okay, the black players don't want to play because of Black Lives Matter protests.
And there's this monumental moment in history where we have all this attention.
All right, how can we trick them into playing?
We'll donate some money for Black Lives Matter.
Well, let's put Black Lives Matter on your jersey.
Your goal is not help Black Lives Matter.
If you really cared about Black Lives Matter, you would shut down the season and you'd be like, we are protesting with our players.
This 90% black-owned league, and we are going to.
And you know what?
We have all these billionaire owners that have tons of money.
We're also going to donate money to these different organizations, these different charities.
You don't give a flying fuck.
Don't give a fuck.
You are given enough of a fuck to make people think that you do.
That's all it is.
Here's enough of a fuck to throw the scent off the not give a fuck trail.
Yeah.
They don't give a fuck.
They give enough of a fuck.
You give enough of a fuck to trick the populace.
Yeah.
God damn.
That's embarrassing.
NBA Owners Giving A Fuck00:02:16
Yeah, what was his Woge story?
Oh, just Woge, fake Karen.
Some senator said some shit.
What was it?
I don't know.
Some senator said some shit.
He was like, fuck you.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
Something about that.
He said some pro-Trump shit, I think, or something like that.
But then ESPN suspended him.
They suspended him, but like, here's my thing.
Woj has a job because of his connections, right?
When you're Woj, what guys, if you don't know who Adrian Wojanowski or whatever, he's the type of, he's the guy who drops news about trades, drops news about injuries, drops any kind of news, right?
And they call Woge bombs.
He's the TMZ of the NBA.
Perfectly said.
Yes.
So his currency is relationships.
So his relationship to the owner of the Knicks, his relationship to the GM, his relationship with one of the training guys, his relationship to the players themselves.
When the players themselves see this, you know whose side they're going to be on?
Who tweeted him?
One of the first people who tweeted him.
LeBron.
Free Woach.
Free Woach.
So now when LeBron texts...
Not Hong Kong, but Wojciech.
But now when Woese texts LeBron, hey, what's going on in the bubble?
How's everything going?
LeBron might give him a little tidbit.
LeBron might tell him a little something like that.
You choose your sources who you give the information to, and they scratch your back too.
Every once in a while, Woge writes an article about the best GMs in the league.
And you know who he does?
He scratches the back of those GMs that gave him information.
You know who he leaves off?
The motherfuckers that said, fuck you.
You see what I'm saying?
All this is exchange of information.
It's like spy ship, but no stakes.
You know?
So I think what he did was on purpose.
If I'm Woj, I do that on purpose and I make sure to leak my own shit.
Right?
You might get suspended for a few days from ESPN, but ESPN knows what time it is.
They know it's good to have politicians, these guys.
I remember we were at the all-star game and I saw Shams, the Indian guy.
He's like, the Indian Woach.
I think he even worked for Woach.
Yeah, he did.
He was doing his own thing.
Now he's number two.
It's some real like fucking wire shit.
But he, the guy blew right past me.
And then we were with an NBA guy.
He was like, hey, buddy, mad, like, talking him up.
And then I felt a little hurt.
But then I was also, I went to the NBA guy.
I was like, are y'all like homies?
And he was like, nah, man, he's just trying to get something out of me.
That's just what it is.
That's the game.
But like, calling him by his last name, like, if I was like, yo, Gagnon, what's good?
But like, really trying to make it seem like we're buddies.
ESPN Suspension Wire Scandal00:15:28
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Anyway, guys, what do you think?
One more, we wrap it up.
There was something I saw.
It's a little interesting.
This comedy club in San Diego.
American Comedy Club.
Bro, fun ass club.
This is great.
That's the pretzel.
You want to get a motherfucking pretzel at the comedy club?
That's the one.
So American Comedy Club or American Comedy Co. in San Diego, we've all performed there.
They said that they have rebranded their comedy shows as comedy civil disobedience shows, which comedians are now called protesters and performers are called, and the performances are called protests.
This is all the way for the business to stay open during the pandemic.
Now, because politicians don't want to anger the people who will vote for them, they basically said, hey, businesses, you got to shut down because of Corona.
But what about these big protests where people are all together in the streets?
Well, those are okay.
But businesses have to be shut down because we could get pronouns.
You may be able to get Corona in these protests.
Matter of fact, you probably will be able to.
It's less likely because of open air and you have wind moving around the disease, but it's still dangerous to do.
But at the same time, we don't want to piss those people off because we need to be in office.
So we want people to vote for us.
So what they did, and this is so funny because this is something I said on Rogan.
I literally was like on Rogan.
I was like, yo, joking around.
I go, I mean, why don't we just say that we're doing the shows for Black Lives Matter?
And then we could donate part of the proceeds to Black Lives Matter.
And then we could have the shows.
And this is everything's going to be good.
This is when we thought Rona was out of here, pretty much.
They're actually doing it.
I did a Black Lives Matter show this Saturday in Brooklyn.
Really?
Yeah.
Man, fun.
Also, like, outdoors, patio situation.
Outdoors, there's like 20 people back of a bar.
It was just good to be doing comedy in New York again.
Right.
And it felt like just like, it didn't feel like the comedy club when we went to Kansas City.
It felt more low stakes because lower people, whatever.
But it was just fun to be up there fucking around again.
It felt great.
But what made it a Black Lives Matter show?
They donated some of the money to Black Lives Matter.
And that's why they're allowed to have the show.
I guess so.
So now people just using Black Lives Matter.
Oh, man.
Now, they take the money.
It's one of those things where it's like, all right, Black Lives Matter gets to make money.
They get to, you know, use that money to help people.
These businesses get to use Black Lives Matter to keep their business going.
Like, maybe everybody wins in this situation.
It's like the tax write-off thing.
Exactly.
The charity.
They're just using it for a tax write-off.
Yeah, but leukemia gets some money.
That's true.
Yeah.
It is interesting, though.
There's a win-win, kind of.
It's kind of a win-win.
It depends how much they give.
My suspicion is not a lot is given.
There's probably percentage of profits, but if you're a comedy club and you got to pay rent and staff and you have back rent, like they're probably not much profit.
But it's also, you know, more fundraisers.
It can't be bad.
And how do you guys feel about California going back into lockdown?
Man, sad.
This shit, I really feel like we're going to be in this for a while, bro.
I'm going to be honest.
I feel like we're going to be in it for a while.
I mean, yeah, we might need a little cure action or we might need like a guaranteed, it doesn't have to be the cure, but it's got to fix it.
There's got to be something that is like makes it much more treatable and not nearly as fatal for people to get over the.
Because now the fear is, oh, if somebody got Corona, it's all over.
It's got to be strep throat.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's got to be, you get it.
They're like, oh, you got Corona.
Okay, here's this prescription.
That's going to knock it out.
In real talk, it's, well, it's not, we haven't got the prescription yet, but it's getting to the point where most people aren't dying once they get it.
The death rate is very low.
Once that gets so low to the fact, like, all right, whatever.
Like, it's like the flu.
People die from the flu.
We're already, I mean, some people are taking it way too far, like motherfuckers who won't even wear masks and like that's impinging on my freedom or whatever.
But we have to find that healthy medium of just like, look, it's quite possible you get sick, but you still have to live your life.
Because like you said, this ain't going away for a long time.
This is a marathon.
This isn't a sprint.
We thought it was a sprint.
That's what sucks is we thought it was a sprint and we're all sprinting.
And then it turns out you got 24 miles left.
We got a long time left.
We just got to be like, hey, we could get sick.
What are the risks worth taking for you, for each person?
And then be responsible to not get motherfuckers sick around you.
Let's go.
It really does feel as silly as this is to like come full circle with it.
But like, it really does feel like if you just wear a mask when you're around people, you'll be all right.
Wear a mask and distance.
That's literally what it feels like.
Mask and distance.
It feels like, yo, just wear the mask when you're around some people.
It only took them four fucking months, but hey, I've been good.
Did you say you wore a mask for the first time?
Like, I always comply.
I've never been like an anti-mask.
Nah, we went to Kansas City and I was good to Andrew's credit.
Everywhere I was masked up.
Andrew was masked up.
Even in the Uber.
This fucking redneck over here never put on that mask.
I followed the laws, bro.
Son.
I followed the laws.
That's what I did.
Nah, bro.
I think you got to wear it inside.
And one Uber driver, to Andrew's credit, was like, yo, you don't have to wear a mask.
I guess he felt like Cucky because he's in Missouri.
And people are probably like, fuck that.
And Andrew was like, nah, we're good.
I obviously left my mask on because I have no immune system.
And Mark was like, oh, I bet.
And he took his shit off.
But I wear a mask inside.
I didn't take it off.
I always do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, if it's my house, I'm not wearing a mask.
And here we're not wearing a mask.
Yeah.
That's good.
I'm happy to hear it.
Pump in fresh oxygen.
You got to do all this shit.
Wear a mask.
Be six feet apart.
And that's really what you got to do.
That's what you can do.
And that will do a lot.
I saw a story.
I think it was in Philadelphia.
Some 30-year-old kid passed away.
He went to one of those Corona parties where people are trying to catch it intentionally.
What?
So there was Corona parties where people went with people who were positive with Corona.
They were trying to catch it intentionally so they can just get it out their system, like get it over with.
And one of those, one kid from the party actually died.
Son, how do you know about this?
I listen to the news.
The news is the only shit I pay attention to.
I could care less about all this social media shit.
I mean, it's in the news.
It hits the news.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
That's heard about going somewhere.
I'm going to catch that shit out.
Bro, I was bug Jason, dog.
Mark wants to.
I wanted to get it way early.
That way I could just have immunity and just be fine.
Apparently, it was stronger earlier.
I talked to a doctor in Texas and she was saying, like, I think it's a weaker thing than it was before.
Before, less people were getting it, but they were getting fucked up.
Now, more people are getting it, but they're not as fucked up.
More mild cases.
Yeah.
I'd just rather not get it.
Just rather not get it.
You just never know what underlying health conditions you may have that could worsen the situation.
And in reality, all these maskless people, that's fine.
Be maskless.
You're probably backwards as fuck anyway.
Like, we're fine without you.
Yeah.
True.
What?
If the people die?
If the people who refuse to wear a mask are gone?
Like, all right, that's on you.
You refuse to wear a mask.
You're an idiot.
You thought it was a fucking hoax.
Cool.
But.
And it's an election cycle coming up.
You know what I mean?
They don't care, though, if they die, right?
Like, their whole thing is I should be able to die.
No, there's a lot of people.
A lot of them think it's bullshit.
Yeah.
A lot of, dog, I follow a guy who was a comic like years ago when I was in Dallas.
I just came to visit.
I saw him.
I thought he was funny.
And then I realized we're Facebook friends and I'm seeing like his shit about like masks are for communists and like this thing is a hoax and not that many people are dying.
I was like, oh, you legit went crazy.
But he's also fat.
So if he dies, you know, that's all right.
But not a lot of people are dying.
The death rate is going down from when it from the start of it.
Yeah.
But people still are dying.
Yeah.
I think the flattened curveship was important early on too, because now we're not like choosing who dies like they were in Italy because they're flooded with like they don't have enough beds for everybody, et cetera.
Right.
All right.
Well, look, some podcasts you end on a high note.
You know what I mean?
And then some you don't.
It's just way fair or enough.
Say what?
You want to talk way fair enough?
There's nothing there.
We got one more thing we got to talk about today.
Then we're getting out of here.
This is a little fucking wild.
I'll be honest with you.
It was one of those things we were thinking about saving for the Patreon because of how repulsive I know it's going to be.
I haven't seen it yet, but I just know it.
So Mark, you know Mark, guys.
He's been talking on the podcast today.
And what you don't know because you can't smell is how little he bathes.
It's crazy.
It's really crazy.
It's the most French thing about him.
It is maybe the only French thing about him.
And his hygiene, he uses a, what did you call it?
It's like an organic deodorant.
A natural deodorant.
A natural deodorant.
I really think he just takes a pear and rubs it under his arms because it does the exact same thing.
Rick Ross style.
Yeah.
So Mark went to the hospital today.
It was a little late for the thing and I was a little bit concerned.
I was like, what's up?
Your back?
He has back issues.
He goes to a chiropractor.
There's a whole thing.
He goes, no, I'm getting my ears cleaned.
He went to the hospital.
He went to a medical professional to get his ears cleaned.
That's wild.
And we actually have video of what it looks like and what came out of your ear.
Is that correct?
Should we put the video on the God?
Oh, my God.
If you're watching it up here for the Patreon.
No, no, no.
We're watching the video.
So this is just a still picture.
Dude, some of the videos.
Is the video up yet?
No, is the picture up yet?
It's already up.
Maybe for the video, we save it for the Patreon.
But the video is going to get your reaction.
Isn't that crazy?
Play it right now.
Let's just play this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's just pause this.
Let me see the video.
Dude, the paper looks like a Rorschach test.
But just put the video over, page.
Oh, my God.
Like a Rorschach test of doo-doo.
Oh, my God.
Dude, there's a beehive inside your ear.
Holy fuck.
Also, why is your ear so fucking hairy, man?
Not everybody's ear is hair, though.
But oh, my God, yo.
That looks like what Andy Dufran crawled through to break out of Showshank.
Son, that's wild, yo.
Holy fuck.
Oh, this is repulsive.
Son, even cookie grossed out, yo.
Oh, my God.
It's just tar.
You have tar in your ears.
Hey, what is this device that they're using?
That shit look like a smoker's lung.
Bro, I'm using that device.
I have the ear cleaner at my place.
And, but this is a professional doing it to you, right?
No, this is me and my girl doing it.
Oh, I thought you said you went to the hospital.
Yeah, I did after I did that yesterday and was like, oh, I need professional consultation.
Oh, and then you got that, and then what happened?
He just cracked me up and cleaned me up.
Well, how'd he do it?
He just went in there with like a little spoon, a little vacuum thing.
Oh, my God.
And do you hear better?
Kind of a little bit.
I feel a lot better, though.
Like, it's like it just feels less clogged.
It just feels great.
What do you think is the purpose of earwax?
I think it's like to keep out germs and bacteria and dirt, like, kind of catching up.
Has a protective purpose, but I don't think you're supposed to have that much.
I think it's to keep out bugs.
That too.
I think we would sleep on the ground, obviously, and there'd just be tons of little insects that would crawl up in our ears and then cause all these weird infections.
So you have this sticky substance that's in your ears, stops it.
The bugs from getting the most important place.
Yeah, it's repulsive.
Son, you really be trying your girl, bro.
Like, you are this guy trying to get out of this wedding, bro.
He's insane, dude.
Nah, but he does everything possible for her to break up with his ass, and he just will not.
She just will not do it.
Why are you testing this woman, bro?
Bro, she's a sweet lady, dog.
She's a medical professional.
Come on, bro.
He's that color, son.
Come on, man.
My ear wax is lighter than this on third.
I don't want you to clean my ears.
Oh, yeah.
Repulsive.
On Patreon, we're cleaning Andrew's ears.
No, we're not.
I think your ears are probably more.
I have the ear cleaner.
I'm coming in.
I'm going to clean them.
I'm not going to let you put that thing in my ear.
I know.
I have a different hook.
I'm not going to let you put a hook in my fucking ear.
Dude, this is.
Look at this.
This is repulsive.
Oh, my God, dude.
We have to actually, we're going to sign a contract, you and I, and you have to bathe and regularly wash your boots.
Not exactly.
No, I mean this.
What is your ear being messed up?
Something.
You go like this.
When you get out of the shower, you go like that.
Have you never cleaned your ears?
When you're on a flight, do you not go like this?
And then a fucking booger shoots out both of your ears.
How has this not been.
Look at this.
There's a pond.
There's the tarp.
That's a tarpit.
Los Angeles has it.
Look at this part right here.
That's in Last Action Hero.
Oh, my God, yo.
Dude, look at this.
I'm so disgusted.
Mark, this is a problem.
But it's clean now.
Oh, my God.
Doctor Sadie.
What did the doctor say to you?
He's seen worse.
No, he did not.
He did.
No, he did.
He said that.
He's seen worse because they cleaned half of it the day before.
Oh, he got what was left.
Yeah, he got the sloppy segments.
Oh, my goodness, dude.
That was absolutely disgusting, Mark.
So this is what we're going to do from now on.
Okay, this is not only for the sake of our studio smelling good, but also for the sake of your relationship.
Okay.
You have to shower three days a week.
Damn it.
Why?
Okay.
That includes washing hair.
And shampoo?
Shampoo.
And you have to do shampoo.
What else do you wash?
Just water.
He thinks that shit works, bro.
He takes like the white leg cleaning approach to his hair.
So look, and then three days a week, okay, you gotta go shower.
But go.
Let me keep the same underwear the whole week.
No.
Once Mark came in with the same socks he wore the day before, bro.
You can wear the same socks.
No, no, and I knew they were the same socks because he mismatched them the day before.
So it's not like he just wore two white pairs in a row.
You would never know the difference.
But we got one pink, one purple.
And I'm like, bro, we saw this yesterday.
How do you put this?
Nah, bro.
He wants us to intervene.
He wants an intervention, dog.
Oh, you think it's a cry for help?
I think this is a cry for help.
I think that we should do a dramatic scene to end the podcast.
No, no, no.
We cut that out already, right?
They don't know what the fuck about it.
We cut out how lame improv is.
We went on a whole rant about lame fuck because UCB is racist.
We should leave the rant and cut the scene.
No, no, no, no.
I think you leave the scene.
But maybe we'll redo one more scene, okay?
So just to put in perspective, UCB was called racist because they don't promote any black people into the higher ranks of their system.
Armpit Cancer Dramatic Scene00:06:34
Yeah.
Right?
Like, what is whatever their stupid ass thing is.
So there's like a bunch of tears.
And if you reach the higher ranks, then you can get looks from these different people.
And if you don't, you just keep paying money and they charge you for fucking everything.
Exactly.
And they're not promoting the black people, obviously, because they're funny and you can't be funny and be good at improv.
Yeah.
The whole thing is designed for people who are not funny.
We're talented.
They literally create systems for people that are not funny to be able to do their job.
Yeah.
That's what it's about.
You know how like there's certain jobs they let retards do because like it's retard proof?
Right?
They're the movie theater ticket people.
Exactly.
Movie theater tickets, just take it.
And that's it, right?
They've thinked it and then yes and yes and look it keeps on funny if you just keep saying yes.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, so these fucking rapists, right?
Yeah.
Oh my God, aren't they rapists?
They are so rapist.
The whole thing is yes and the whole thing.
You cannot say no.
There is no, you can't, you end of the space, right?
It's like, where was Weinstein?
That's where his pluck and talent.
I just said, UCB show.
I'm going to pull my dick down and jerk off in front of this tree.
Yes.
And I'll just keep watching.
So Mark used to do it in college, Mark.
You would be, as part of this troop, you were in a troop for one semester.
Yeah.
And you said that they would do dramatic scenes for an hour.
Yeah.
You were not trying to be funny.
No.
And I think that we should end this podcast on a dramatic scene.
Okay.
Okay.
The dramatic scene is you have a type of cancer that is directly derivative to poor hygiene.
And what way?
It's bacterial buildup in the armpits.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
It's bacterial buildup in the armpits.
And your armpits are just stuffed, and it's just too.
And it's cancer, though.
And it's AIDS, too.
It's AIDS, too.
It's both of them.
It's both of them.
And so the three of us are intervening to you.
Okay.
Okay.
Remember, this is not comedy, guys.
We have to be serious about this.
We are doing an intervention because we want to save your life.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ready?
Yep.
Mark.
Yes.
Don't be funny, Mark.
I'm not being funny.
No, no, you're not English and you have this problem.
Why not?
You'd be English and serious.
Yes, and you got a yes, Andy.
What was the problem with me?
Oh, he just killed you, son.
Okay, fine.
Okay, so Mark.
Mark, Mark.
Okay, Mark.
Yeah, what is it?
Mark, we've come here together.
We're your friends.
We're your family.
And we love you.
And we had a conversation and we feel that we feel that your body odor and just your general smell and your hair also is.
I'm sorry for laughing.
It's a health hazard.
It's a health hazard.
Wait, so this isn't a birthday party.
No, it is.
It's not a birthday party.
It's meant to look like that.
That's horrible.
Sounded Indian almost.
It is.
It was mad ass art.
Guys, we got to be serious.
We're doing an intervention.
We are concerned.
Remember that time we asked you to go to the hospital when we all went together to get those Corona tests?
Remember those?
Yeah.
And remember, they also took like a swab sample of your armpits.
Do you remember that?
I remember that.
Yeah.
That actually wasn't for Corona.
That was for an AIDS cancer.
I was for an AIDS cancer of the armpits.
You're also checking his downs a little bit.
So you're trying to tell me they swabbed my armpits.
Yeah.
And after they swabbed my armpits, they say that I have like AIDS cancer.
You have an AIDS cancer.
It's a very, Akash can explain it in more detail than I can.
Basically, you're just so filthy that your body is like a cesspool for all diseases.
Yeah.
It's like open season for any disease that's interested.
Yep.
And they're all interested.
And they're interested in you.
Is this common in six-year-olds?
No, no, it's not common in anyone.
Yeah.
It's just common for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm the only six-year-old in all of Bristol.
We understand that you identify as six.
We understand that.
And we understand as a trans ageist person that you do that.
And that's cool.
If you want to identify as six, that's fine.
But you're a grown adult and you smell like shit.
But I feel like I'm six.
I know you.
You know my birthday is tomorrow.
This is supposed to be my party.
You bathe yourself like you're six.
You do.
You have the hygiene of a six-year-old, and that's what we're here to address.
We want you.
We want you.
Listen, we're totally cool with you sucking the dicks all the time.
We think that's great.
It's empowering.
No, we literally.
One of the cool things about you is how much you devour dicks, dude.
Like, what did you say to me the other day?
You're like, one of my favorite things to do is wake up in the morning.
They call me the hot dog eater.
Yeah.
Glizzy Gladiator.
Glizzy Gladiator.
But what would you say?
Yeah, I get up in the morning.
I just crush a P3.
Crush a P3.
Yeah, start every morning for the P3.
Favorite snack.
And you have a cheese cube and a cashew.
Cashew.
And then slammy.
But you go with the real thing.
And you have been sucking an incredible amount of dicks.
Historic, maybe.
It is honestly historic.
Dude, I remember once when you lined them all up.
You lined them all up, right?
You lined all the dicks up.
Yeah, in the back garden.
In the back garden.
I remember I was going to the back garden because I was taking out Cookie.
And I was thinking I was just going to take her out for a piss and shit.
And I walked.
And here you are.
And I thought you were listening to heavy metal music, bro.
You're just banging your head back and forth, going up and down.
It was unbelievable.
It was unbelievable.
We're not saying cut that out.
No, I love it.
I enjoy it.
You enjoy it?
I enjoy it.
Watching or being part of it?
Both.
Both.
Dude, when you suck Akash's dick, dude.
So what's the cure here?
What can I do for myself?
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing that you're going to need to do.
And I know it sounds odd and I know it sounds weird.
You're going to need to do a semen transfer.
You're going to need to suck semen out of one person's dick and then you're going to need to shoot it back into another person's dick.
Dad, you mean it?
Son.
I mean, your father loves you.
He wouldn't lie to you.
AIDS Cure Improv End Note00:01:13
You know what I mean?
Who's thinking about it?
I do love him.
I love him.
It's different.
I'm not in love with him anymore.
Okay.
Got it.
I do love him.
I'm not in love with him anymore.
I got it.
Got it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I loved him when he was actually six.
Right, right, right.
Okay.
And I understand this whole ruse is to get back to that and get my attention.
It's not working.
Think about it.
Think about it.
So when do you got it?
When do I stop my cure?
I would rather us all get AIDS than continue doing improv.
All right, guys.
That's the end of the episode.
We'll see you on Patreon, patreon.com slash flagrant2.
If you fuck with us, you can go do that.
We do an extra episode every week over there, only on Patreon, Patreon exclusive.
Shit gets a little wild.
We don't do improv over there.
We're not going to do any improv over there.
We got to save the video for the Patreon.
All right, we'll drop the video.
I'm going to start he's being out in the wild.
Okay, we'll drop the video on Patreon.
We'll do the video.
It's a lot wild.
And it will be, I mean, it is one of the most repulsive things you've ever seen in your entire life.