Mike Feeney joins hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh to dissect viral rage, network rejections, and the ethics of surrogate pregnancies for comatose women. The trio debates Rose McGowan's Bill Maher allegations, Takashi's criminal betrayal under RICO laws, and UFC 249's superior matchmaking compared to boxing. They critique white culinary dominance in Indian and Mexican food while analyzing Seinfeld's flawed dynamics. Ultimately, the episode highlights how quarantine reshapes comedy, loyalty, and daily frustrations from matcha shops to hospital wards. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Rose McGowan Accuses Bill Maher00:15:03
Whatever.
Let's get into it.
Let's take some good shit.
Rose McGowan, is there anybody who didn't tread a rape her?
Let's go through a list of people that were in Hollywood.
It's getting to the point where, like, I don't know if you guys listening right now know what we're talking about, but apparently she accused Bill Maher of saying, I have a huge cock or something.
Whispered it to her in a creepy way, apparently.
Yeah, whispered into her ear, I have a huge cock.
Yeah, maybe he's just confiding in her.
You know what I mean?
Maybe it's hard.
Maybe he's like, you know what it's like going around this huge cock all day.
Yeah.
Rose McGowan, Bill Maher whispering to her about his huge cock during 1990s show.
Here's what I'll have to say.
I don't want to like victim blame or whatever those things are.
You know what I mean?
Those things.
But if everybody tries you, if literally everybody in your life tries you, you got to start looking at you.
You might be throwing out some attitude.
You might be throwing out, because I know as a dude, right?
Like when we were all in college, you knew the girls that was giving pussy up to everybody.
You knew the girls and dudes would try those girls with a different level of spiciness than they would try the girl who nobody ever hooked up with.
So maybe the rumor on the street, Rose, was that you were out there getting plugged by everyone in Hollywood and all you had to whisper in your ear is like, yo, I got a big cock, and then that works.
You know what?
I'm just, is that reasonable?
I feel like I've heard.
Al, Al shaking his head, but because it's not reasonable.
Why is it not reasonable?
We're the most reasonable people in the podcast of the world.
You don't even believe that.
That's why you started.
No, no.
Isn't it, it's not weird?
It's not weird.
1990s, 30 years ago, you remember what some old guy whispered in your fucking ear?
I got a big cock.
Yeah, but I'm just saying, I think that was.
I think that was the culture in Hollywood.
So it's like, I think.
Word, no.
She want to see that cock.
Hey, here's what she hasn't forgotten about.
I know I've heard women.
I've heard female comics do this joke of, I wish there was a way to know if a guy has a big cock or not before you have sex with him.
There is.
Bill Maher tried to tell you.
He tried to do you a favor.
He's doing what you say you want.
Yeah, you know, he's wearing sweatpants.
You can look at his fucking dick prints, trying to see how big he'd be when he's hard.
He's telling you, this shit is big, bro.
Hey, listen, secrets out.
I don't know if I believe it.
His dick is big.
My dick is not.
I'm trying to help you.
He's trying to help people.
He's trying to help.
I know that sounds like a crazy thing to say, but that's not reasonable.
Like, you don't have to look at your behavior a little bit.
Like, if every dude in Hollywood is just feeling so audacious that they'll whisper in your ear, I have a huge cock.
Like, you don't think word is on the street amongst the producers and people going, yo, Rose is fucking for roles, yo.
Like, one of these guys just needs to come out.
Loki, one of these guys needs to come out and just go, why is she acting like she wasn't trading dick sucks for roles?
Like, what do these guys just got to say?
Like, if is Weinstein dead?
With Weinstein's last corona breath, he got just like, she was trading dick sucks for roles.
One last coronaventilated breath.
He yanks out the tube and just goes, Rose was sucking dick for roles.
I'm saying, what?
Bro, I thought you were a fan of charmed.
Say again?
I thought you were a fan of charmed.
Huge fan.
She's in Charmed?
Yeah, son.
I knew I didn't like that show.
Luis Charmin.
Man, she didn't even make this bitch Charming.
Charm was really carried by Alyssa Milano, Sharon DaHorty.
I heard nothing but she was a bitch until Rose McGowan started talking.
Now we all forgot Shannon Doherty was bad.
Yo, Shan Doherty was a diva.
But she understood when a man with power said, I got a big cock.
She wasn't dripping off that, right?
Like, she understood that's how it goes.
Like, if you're a guy with a big cock and there's a girl next to you that's hot, there's this knee-jerk reaction.
There's this version of like Mantourettes where you got to be like, I'm a big cock.
What do you even say to that?
If someone said to that, if a girl leaned over to you, right, and goes, I got a really tight puss.
What do you say to that?
Like, do you go, like, how do you know?
Like, how are you sure?
Like, what?
How do you, what do you say to that?
If a girl goes, you got a tight puss, what do you say?
I mean, I'm going to let Al answer this so Akash don't got it.
You asked the wrong guy.
Oh my gosh, we're going to rediagnose.
What if a girl said to you, I got a really tight pussy.
Hey, man, good for you.
That's what you said.
You dap her up.
Okay.
Exactly.
I see you.
That's the move is to act unaffected by.
Hey, that's what's up.
I got the same girl.
Al, what'd you do?
A girl goes, yo, I got a tight puss.
I'm going to be like, oh, you hitting them Kegels?
Hitting them Kegels.
That's it.
That's a setup.
In today's day, is that me too?
That is me too.
She's trying to set you up.
Girls are me too and us with that.
Yeah.
Do you think it was possible?
Actually, let's talk about this.
Because she's going to deny the first comment, and then they're just going to record what you said after.
You're just describing the size of your cock.
And what is he supposed to do?
Is he supposed to yell at?
Now he's bragging.
You got a whisper.
You got to whisper.
Also, you don't want everybody to know that.
Oh, that is another point.
We can't have this like body shame, you know, community who's like, don't make us feel shameful of ourselves.
We should be able to walk around naked.
We should be able to be topless.
We should be able to be fat if we want.
What if my dick fat?
My dick fat.
Can I not tell people about that?
What if, why is it that the penis is something that you can't describe, but Lizzo can describe her whole body as big and beautiful?
Why can't your dick be big and beautiful?
Is body shame only for people or like body positivity only for people who should be ashamed of their body?
Yes.
So Bill Maher got a big dick.
He should be ashamed.
Just as much as Lizzo should be proud of her body.
It is culturally, it is culturally a bad thing for Jews to have a big dick.
They be trying to chop pieces off their dick off too.
Like when you think about it, like they do not like big dicks, bro.
They were son.
It is true, bro.
Back in the day, Moses dragging his dick up in that fucking mountain to get them tablets, right?
And they're like, I got to snip a little of this off so I don't get, you know, dragging on so many rocks.
Real talk, man.
That's true.
Oh, fuck.
That's why they write and read right to left.
Why is that?
Oh, no, I didn't figure the end of that part out.
I'd be so impressed if you did.
I thought by the time I said it, I would have an answer.
I was a little bit insecure.
I was like, how the fuck is he going to make this a big dick thing?
I was like, fuck!
I don't know.
Okay.
I've been super impressed.
Almost the same as if he told me he had a big dick.
What is like sexually aggressive about saying you have a big dick?
Yeah, because...
Like, if he said something about her, like, oh, I want to fuck you with my big dick.
That's like, okay, that's too far.
That's messed up.
But if you just say a thing about your own anatomy.
Or if you describe her anatomy too far, maybe.
That's messed up.
But if you're describing your own body, what world do we live in where men cannot even describe their own body?
It's what you have.
You try to use the weapons at your disposal to get people to hook up.
Why would you use the word weapons?
We're trying to make this not assaulty.
If a guy says, I have a penthouse apartment uptown, that's what he uses to get.
I have a huge penthouse.
What if he said that?
I have a huge penthouse up.
And whispers, is that?
Yeah.
I have a Red Ferrari, 1990, Tester Rosa.
What are you saying about his dog?
Yo, I have a huge cockapoo.
I have, yeah, a brand new blue nose.
Maybe that's what he was saying.
I have a huge cockapoo.
It is weird.
I think that's the last part.
Maybe the whisper just didn't get there.
But I do think there's something.
Do you think that he's going to lean over and do that to Priyanka Chopra?
Absolutely.
Nah.
She's married.
I don't think she is.
Excuse me.
I don't think he is.
Because she's married?
Yeah, maybe.
Did you see those lips on her nose?
Yeah.
That's how you get married.
But like I'm saying, like, I just think, I think they're, don't get me wrong.
Every girl experiences sexual harassment, right?
Especially on the street.
But let's not conflate these things.
When you're in the street and you sexually harass, the assumption is you're never going to see that girl again.
You're actually doing it to kind of like impress your boys.
Ooh, interesting.
Right?
Like, I don't know if these construction workers, they're holding a fucking hammer and they're in Timberland boots and their jeans are all ripped and they see a girl walking down a dime piece and they go, damn, girl, let me get that booty.
I don't truly believe that they think their girl's going to stop and then come over and get a house.
That's not fun.
They're just trying to enjoy their job.
Exactly.
At your expense, right?
Which is what they've been doing to their coworkers all day, enjoying their job at their expense.
This is what we do every single day.
Yeah.
Right?
It gets boring on the podcast.
Alex, you have abortions.
Everybody's having fun.
Right?
Like, we just, that's what we do to each other all the time, right?
Now, I'm not justifying it.
I'm just saying.
But it is entertaining.
It's entertainment.
It is entertainment.
Now, that being said, now, I understand how that's inconvenient.
That sucks to the girl, right?
That being said, if a guy is leaning over and saying that to you on his show, granted it's the 90s, something had to happen between you guys where he felt comfortable enough to do that.
You're a guest on his show.
You don't even work on him.
You don't work for him.
You don't really have a power dynamic over him in the 90s.
Matter of fact, you might have been more popping than him in the 90s, Little King.
She was in the 90s.
That's the last time she mattered until this.
Real talk.
So something is going on.
There's word on the street or you're putting out an energy.
Now, I'm not saying it's right necessarily what a guy says, but you should take note, mental note.
You might be putting out an energy that makes guys feel like they should share their dick size with you.
You know what?
I'm wrong, Al?
I'm not.
You're shaking your head.
Son, I'm not saying anything verbally.
It's your daughter.
It's your daughter.
Your daughter comes to you.
Every late night show I go on, the guys tell me how big their dicks are.
Sit down.
What's happening before that?
Well, I'm asking them how big their dicks are.
Well, bitch, maybe that's why, right?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, wouldn't you, if it was your daughter, someone you truly loved and cared about, wouldn't you get to the bottom of this?
Yeah, I don't.
I don't even want to.
You wouldn't try to get to the bottom of this.
I mean, I'd be pissed at Bill Maher, but I'd be trying to get to the bottom of Bill Maher.
Son, honestly, I wouldn't, I'm not even that pissed at Bill Maher.
This is a rich Jewish dude, big dick.
This guy owns the world.
You know what?
I'm like, thank you for being honest.
Like, I'd be pissed at Bill Maher if he was like best policy.
Honesty?
I'd be pissed at Bill Maher if he was like, yo, hey, you know what?
I think you're so talented.
I think you're so, it's like, my daughter's not talented.
She's a child.
This is Hickey Hogany's pocus, right?
It's not real.
But if he was just kept in a fucking buck with her, I would be like, all right, that's what men do.
This is a learn, a lesson you can learn.
But you're putting out an energy.
That's valid.
That's valid.
It is honest.
It's honest.
All these dudes pretending they're feminists and then trying to sleep with these girls at the rallies.
You're a fucking creep to me.
Thank you.
You're a duplicitous.
You're what?
Duplicitous.
Son, did Nick Cage star in that movie?
Jesus.
Son, no, he's multiplicitous.
He can do whatever he wants.
I knew it was one of whatever he wants.
I knew it was one of them.
That spell from charm, bro.
Jesus.
Son, but that's like deceitful.
These guys were like, this is what a feminist look like.
That's what a rapist looks like.
So 100%.
That's what I'm saying.
So I'd sit down.
I'd be like, listen, this is what dudes do.
Now, you might be putting out an energy, and maybe it's just because you're social, you want to network, you want to be friends with everybody, but you're putting out an energy in some way that's making dudes feel comfortable being honest with you.
If you're not ready for that honesty, you need to put out a different energy so they feel like they got to lie.
So here, I don't disagree.
People would say blaming victims, whatever.
Let's put that aside then.
What are you a victim of?
What are you a victim of?
Let's put that aside.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, isn't the timing a little odd?
Go on.
Rose McGowan is irrelevant.
She's relevant in the 90s, completely irrelevant after what, the late 90s until about 2018.
Then she pops with the Me Too thing.
Drops some allegations, whatever.
Seems to me like that was her hit.
And then she needed a sequel.
You waited a year and a half to say this.
Why didn't you just let all the allegations go at once?
And guess who's been popping lately?
Guess who's had a lot of viral videos during this whole coronavirus?
Bill Meher?
Ooh.
Big pick Bill.
Yo, you could have gone to Billy Maher.
You could have gone at Bill Meher in 2018 back when you were taking down Weinstein.
But you didn't, huh?
Huh?
You did not.
Huh?
So, listen, if it all happened to you, fine.
If you're the victim, fine.
Isn't the timing odd?
That's all I would say.
Statue of limitations on sexual harassment.
30 days.
Son, I think that's generous.
I'm beyond.
It's a Macy's return policy.
Hey, you kept it in for that long.
Maybe you liked it.
Yeah, it is.
30 days?
You couldn't figure that shit out in 30 days.
Yo, but you couldn't.
Come on, bro.
You couldn't bring your complaints out.
A couple words.
We're not talking about physical touch.
That's assault, right?
We're talking about words.
You have 30 days to complain about words.
No.
Just words?
30 days tops.
I thought you were talking physical words, 14 days.
No, son.
Fourth no.
I'm with it.
I'm with it, bro.
I knew within two hours if I was keeping my oculus or not.
I knew within two hours if I was keeping my oculus.
Right?
You can't figure out in two hours if it was sexual harassing enough.
Oh, man.
You need a fucking 14-day, 30-day.
We'll give him 30 days.
You need 30 days to figure out if that shit is sexual harassment.
And if not, shut it up.
Yo, yeah, physically, no, whatever.
You always bring that up whenever you want.
How long are I with my girl?
One year tops.
That's it.
None of you bitches can get me.
Apparently, Bill Maher was saying, like, it almost sounds like he was saying a joke.
Okay, go.
So she goes on his show.
This is the tweet.
So she tweeted at him in order to get this allegation out.
Yeah.
So she goes on his show politically incorrect.
Yeah.
And I mean, he kept it 100%.
That's the name of the brand, Bill Maher.
I'm just saying.
The show isn't describing my dick politely.
You know what I'm saying?
It's politically incorrect.
So she goes on during a commercial break.
The Political Incorrect Show Incident00:14:48
He leans over and goes, my parents didn't give me a good face, but they did give me a huge cock.
It's like, that's kind of like a joke.
He's spitting.
He's just spitting, bro.
He's just spitting.
And he knows he's ugly.
And I respect his self-awareness.
He does.
He is ugly, bro.
Listen, and you can't judge a book by its cover.
We always say it all the time.
He's just trying to tell you what's inside the book.
Yo, have y'all seen Ghostbusters 2?
Yes.
You know what the guy, the painting?
Yes.
Okay.
Don't Bill Maher look like the Jewish version of the book?
Exactly.
That's so crazy.
Like, if somebody could put like Jewish filter on the guy in the thing, it's Bill Maher.
Get that image up.
I bet his soft dick like the stay puff marshmallow man though.
Facts though came through.
He just sounds like a guy with no game, like the ones on our shit.
Now that's kind of bars out.
No, no, no.
The ones on dating apps that they just put their height.
I did tell my friends to do that.
I did have a lot of money.
I'm saying that's the equivalent of that.
It's like he's not tall.
Yeah.
His dick is tall.
But how does he know his dick's big if he's tiny?
Like the fact that Akash is small and he says his dick's small, that's how I know it's tiny.
You ain't wrong when you're right.
Comparatively.
You ain't wrong when you're right.
What you got there, bro?
Son.
You got a little stump down?
Yeah, bro.
Yeah.
Like, what would you whisper into a girl's ear?
What would you say?
Like, how would you describe it?
My dick?
Yeah.
I would leave that to her imagination.
I mean, I'd be like, what was exactly?
I'd be like, hey, girl, look at me.
Look at my body.
Look at my face.
Dick matches.
Think about it.
Think about it.
That's good.
How rich must I be?
How would you big up your dick in the best way possible?
Is it like soft?
Is the skin soft?
Hey, girl.
Let me tell you something.
My shit?
Yeah.
It gets the job done sometimes.
I got the Civic of Dicks.
Got a dick Civic.
Anyway, all right.
I just need to get that off my chest.
I was feeling a little annoyed by that, but I think we'd be.
Hey, you know what?
It didn't take you 15 years to get it off your chest.
Isn't that funny?
30 days, yo.
We're giving girls 30 days to get this sexual harassment off.
30 days, yo.
Real talk.
And think about it.
Yeah.
I don't even know.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I don't even know if it's 30 days from the incident.
I think it's just a flat month.
Wait, what?
I think it's just a month.
So, like, anything that happens in May, you got to figure that out in May.
I think you got to figure it out in May, bro.
Get your cat color none on the 28th.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know what I mean?
Because think about it.
Because leap year, February 29th, that ain't even really a day.
And we're going to be out there barking.
You can't get us.
Because it's not a real day.
Now, what if your daughter gets sexually harassed?
Then what?
Cat called or sexually harassed?
Both of them.
Like, if she gets, like, let's just say.
Anything.
If you're physically inconvenienced in any way, you might have to die if you're the guy.
You got to kill a guy.
You might have to kill the guy.
Huh?
In that month.
No, physical has no statute.
Physical is always.
Put a statue because I'm going to handle it.
What's that?
That day.
I'm going to handle it that day.
Ballot.
Ballot.
I almost had to blow up this fucking matcha store.
Did I tell you guys about that?
What ended up happening with that?
Because the guy was rude to my girl.
Rude to my girl.
She was waiting outside for social distancing when two other bitches was getting their matcha.
And then the guy tried to close the fucking place.
And he's like, she's like, I've been waiting outside from before four.
So the guy was like, fine, come in.
Rolled his eyes.
Came in, made the matcha.
She said, made it hella shitty.
So I had to go the next day.
Can I be honest?
This is the whitest story I've ever heard on every level.
Matcha, the guy rolled his eyes at the girl.
Yeah.
And then she was respecting social distancing in every way.
This is the whitest story I've ever heard.
I went the next day and I had a fucking conversation with that guy.
Rolling eyes is like a white hate crime.
That is.
Real talk.
Don't roll your eyes.
A dude rolling his eyes at a girl that he just met is like, come on, bro.
And then he goes to the place the next day.
I want to speak to your manager.
Nah, I spoke to him.
So what you said?
This is the whitest story.
I went with her.
I said, wait outside.
I'm going to go talk to this motherfucker.
I went and I spoke to him and I said, yo, yo, it's my girl's birthday.
Just go out there and just wave, right?
Just wave like that.
Like that.
So he waves at my girl.
I go, yo, thank you.
I appreciate it.
I buy the matcha and I was like, yup, did he learn a lesson?
She goes, I mean, he waved at me.
I was like, Yeah, I told him to apologize.
And I was like, You got to look at that girl and be nice no matter what.
So that's what happened.
Oh, my God.
Sometimes you got to teach a lesson.
She got to know who the fucking, you know, the king of the kingdom is.
Yo, you let him know.
Son, I'm out here.
What really happened?
Nothing.
We went back.
I was a bitch.
We went back.
We got there.
I was like, I'll wait outside with the electric bike, man.
I can't let this electric bike down.
Wow, son.
You didn't even call it a motorcycle?
When you don't beat up the matcha dude, it's a bike, bro.
It's an electric bike, bro.
Come on, Drew.
What's happening?
I literally thought about it.
I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
I'm supposed to knock this guy out for being completely reasonable.
My girl showed up at four.
But I can't tell my girl she's wrong.
It's quarantine.
You know what I mean?
So I'm in this fucking conflict.
I'm biking hella slow, trying to put all pieces together.
We get to the goddamn spot.
I would not tip him, but then I got to make fun of me for punish motherfuckers doing the shit I shouldn't do already.
Yo, tipping a fucking barista infuriates me.
I gotta tip you before you do your job.
Huh?
What kind of shit is that?
The whole tip system is you do your job and then I like the service, so I tip you.
Oh, you gotta start it on tips, son.
I know it's about to be 10 minutes.
I'm about to go to that matcha dude and fight him for you.
This motherfucker, yo, don't roll your eyes, yo.
Hey, hey, let's you and me go talk to this guy.
Who are you rolling your eyes at, yo?
Son, usually.
That's the unnecessary part.
Can I be honest with you, though?
That's what you got to find when you're going to be.
Can I be honest with you, bro?
In that situation, you got to find anything.
Be like, hey, man, I get it.
But like, you don't have to roll your eyes like that.
I don't know that.
I don't know how to do that.
Oh, because if someone's rude to your girl at a certain point, you can be like, I kind of get it.
You know?
Oh, there's never a point where I don't get it.
There's never a point out of rudeness.
I completely understand.
Oh, man.
Physical shit, that's different.
Yeah.
But the guy is at work getting Corona every day.
He's about to close up the shop and then he sees another person outside.
That's worth the eye roll.
Nah, but you're not going to be able to do that.
That's not worth the eye roll.
In your girl defense.
I'm bugging.
You're bugging.
Son, you just got to like a macho for your shorties.
Let me tell you something.
Oh, let me tell you something.
For those listeners, Andrew just broke the mic.
I lost sleep over this, bro.
You trying to prove how tough you are now?
This is what I almost did to the macho man.
Yeah, macha man.
Macha man, Randy Savage.
I literally walked in there like, what?
It's the diamond wing raring.
Yeah.
Champagne drinking.
Social distance.
Social distance kick.
Fuck.
Son.
Hold up.
What was his line?
Oh, yeah.
What is the shit he used to say all the time?
Cream of the crop.
Yeah, let that be a warning.
He told us he was going to have his confrontation last week.
Were you here?
Yes.
He was like, I'm about to go beat up the matcha man.
I just rule my girl.
Can I tell you what really happened, son?
I'm winning it.
I'm going to tell you what really happened.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
Do it like John.
I'm going to tell you what really happened.
I don't care if y'all judge me.
This will happen.
Do it like matcha man.
All right, let's go.
You want to know?
This is what happened.
I said, babe, hold the bike outside.
She loads a bike outside.
I go in there, right?
I go, yo, let me get two.
And I forgot what fucking girl wanted.
So I had to try to go, babe, what you want?
And then she goes, I was like a fucking macadamia nut, a matcha, whatever.
I'm already deflated to saying macadamia and nut milk, right?
I'm already deflated to saying that.
Let me get a macadamia nut, a matcha latte.
Let me get two of them shits, right?
He go to do it, and I'm waiting to have the confrontation when he comes back.
Right?
And no bullshit, they just started selling these like Thai vanilla peanut butter cups.
So, so here's the thing.
Yo, yo, yo.
So these shits look so delicious, right?
But they're behind the counter.
Okay.
Oh, you got to ask him for one.
So I can't curse the motherfucker out and then give him a Thai vanilla peanut butter cups, right?
So you just selfish ass motherfuckers.
You don't defend your girl's honor for some fucking peanut butter cups.
I said this.
I said it.
My girl can't hear nothing.
She's outside.
So I go like this.
So I go like this.
I go, I give her the nod, like it's about to go down.
I'm like, yo, I got to talk to you.
Them Tyler peanut butter cups.
So I'm trying to like position myself.
So my girl can't see moving crazy lives.
I'm like, I'm going to need two of them Thai peanut butter cups.
And then, you know, you go outside.
He felt bad.
You throw in some Thai vanilla peanut butter cups back.
And you shake his hand at the end and make it look like you really had to.
I mean, you really patched things up.
I go out there like, babe, you can go here anytime you want now.
It's not going there 401.
What if she rude to him?
What if he rude to her again?
Nah, nah, nah.
Then we got a fight.
And he didn't get awarded.
I haven't had a fight in a while.
What do you mean, fight?
Like, I haven't had a fight, like, a fight, like a physicist, not even a pushing physical altercation in a while.
Now, I'm not saying that I want to have one, but I'm saying I haven't had one in a while.
It's going to happen.
It's the laws of the world, right?
If you have to order eight peanut butter cups, you would.
I would fight him?
No, no, this kid is a, he's a tiny little fucking kid.
It's unfair.
But, like, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, Al, you know, eventually there's going to be another fight.
It's only the law of inertia.
I used to have the dumbest logic when I was younger.
If I went too long without a fight, I'd be starving for one because it's like, I got to make sure I'm still like.
You still got it?
Yeah, I got to make sure I'm still confused.
It's going to happen.
And that was the worst logic.
I would go out there looking for a fight.
Yep.
And see, and that's what, and then you get caught by a motherfucker.
And then the matcha man throws some fucking green stuff.
And then you wind up in prison in Sweden.
But I had a pretty good record.
I was eight and three.
I kept my record.
Yeah.
I remember the first time I spoke to Al about that.
He did tell me his record and he included the losses.
And I was like, wow, this guy's really honest.
Yeah, no, I respect it.
This guy got my ass beat.
I did.
But then you believe the eight.
Yeah.
All right.
Then you're like, now he won the eight.
He got his eight.
He won those eight fights.
No, no, it started from when I was a kid up until not very long ago.
I remember them fucking.
Until about 2017.
Yeah.
Them fucking, what's it called?
Is that a three or is that an eight?
I take that as a win because I connected.
That wasn't a win, baby.
So he didn't punch me with anything.
He hit me with a stick.
Yeah, but he moved you like 100 feet.
How'd he move me with a stick?
He actually moved you much more than 100 feet.
He moved you to a prison.
It don't matter.
I got that.
He legit puts you on the mat.
The yoga mat they gave you and ASAP rocky to sleep on.
He motherfucker put you to the mat.
I connected and then a little while later, he dropped.
So I dropped him.
I dropped him.
No, I dropped him.
Did he fall or not?
He fell when he was running after me when I was running away.
What is fucking up?
No, he wasn't.
Nah, nah, nah.
Stop asking me.
That's why he had to get his people.
He had to get his people together.
And I know that means I won.
And we can't get this trial video, can we?
Nah, it's too late.
That guy, he's not even a lawyer anymore.
I'll try to contact him.
He quit after that case?
What happened?
No, but I don't know.
Please deal with Andrew.
Oh my God.
Because I bodied him.
I cucked him.
I cucked him in court, bro.
Think about it.
Think about it.
Imagine you have your whole case.
Case like you did the matcha, man.
Real talk.
Imagine you got your whole case.
You could pay your hands.
I'm going to take care of everything.
I'm going to get you out of here.
Cover your ears.
Yo, he is black and he kind of deserved it.
Did I say that?
He's like, yo, I took care of it, bro.
No, I played into the race card a little bit.
You have to.
They got white guilt over there.
Yeah, but I tried to reverse psychology of them on the race card.
Oh, I was like, I don't usually see things like this, but like I was, I was really trying to lean it.
But I did cuck your lawyer, and maybe that's why he quit.
Maybe.
Son, I was out there on the fucking Ralph Loren.
You know what I mean?
I came through a shirt.
Nah, it's not this shirt.
It's another shirt.
But I had that Ralph.
I pulled up in that wreck-it Ralph.
And bro, I wrecked that courtroom, dog.
Fat bitch.
Remember that fat bitch?
Stupid.
Oh, that was a fun time.
No, it wasn't.
Minus the 28 days.
Say what?
I said minus the 28 days.
That was a fun time.
That's a vacation, bro.
We need to get back out in the road, man.
Fuck all this shit.
Elon Musk.
Sweden's open.
That's the only place that stayed open.
That's the one place that we could fucking go do shows.
Oh, that's a rough one.
That's a rough one.
You think you could talk to the club owner for me?
See if I can get over there?
I got you, bro.
See you want to go over there.
Son.
All right.
All right.
Defend your girl's honor.
Say what?
You got to go back to that matcha show.
You got to say something.
Yeah.
You got to go up to it.
What should I go through?
You go up to him.
You whisper in his ear.
You go, I got a huge cock.
And then just see what he does, bro.
Then you're ball.
No, you can't be like, look, man, I get it.
It's tough, but you can't sit here and my girl's trying to respect that.
You got to deal with all this shit.
And then you roll your eyes at her.
It's just disrespectful.
That's it.
That's all.
Nah, baby.
And then if he fires back, be like, look, man, honestly, you're right.
But I did my job.
So I'm going to see you later.
See, nah, I can't do it.
I don't understand reasonable conversations.
Now, too much time went by.
Now it's too late.
Also, you should have been there.
Next day, you should have been like, yo, my girl came home yesterday.
Also, you got to understand this.
They were Thai vanilla peanut butter cups.
Yeah, it was bomb.
They slapped.
But like, you also got to say, my girl loves this fucking matcha spot.
Tearing Down Respectful Confrontation00:02:17
So I don't.
I already ruined one restaurant with a past girlfriend.
Which one?
Via de la Pache.
So 7th Street on the Girl Avenue.
Okay.
I think it burned down.
Pause.
Yeah.
Nah, it wasn't me.
But we went there one time and it was an empty restaurant.
I asked for this specific table and they said no.
And they tried to put me another table.
And I said, nobody's here.
Can we just go in this table?
And they said no.
And then forever, mortal enemies.
That's the only restaurant my dad remembers.
You know, my dad's memory is gone.
He remembers one restaurant.
I refused to go to that restaurant.
I was like, I can't.
I can't go.
I just can't go.
That was your Michael Jordan restaurant.
So I loathed them.
Eventually, I got over it, but I couldn't do this again for her because she loves this matcha spot.
It's right by her.
Did you have a conversation with the Italian restaurant?
A little bit.
When did you get over it?
Around the time it burnt down?
No.
Right before.
Yeah, man.
So I got to be better at that, I bet, at the confrontations.
Because what you're saying is very reasonable.
I don't know how to be reasonable in confrontation.
It's just go time.
Yeah.
You guys have experienced it.
I don't, I'm not like.
Defending honor is overrated.
This is the best part about being Christian, dude.
If some shit happens, if some shit happens to my girl, I just go, turn the other cheek, babe.
That's how it goes.
All right.
Read the Bible.
I just don't think it's hard.
Honor will come first.
Exactly.
Meek will inherit the earth.
So be meek, bitch.
What do you want?
I just don't think it's honest.
I think you have to do that when you're ready to fucking tear the house down.
If you're not willing to tear the house down, don't even go about it.
That's a crazy, crazy statement.
There's no gray area at all there.
So, like, I just feel like if you're going to have a confrontation, you got to be willing to burn the whole restaurant.
Yeah.
So, like, here's the example, right?
Like, I remember once this homeless guy was like acting crazy, like, I think towards my mom or like in the area of my mom.
Yeah.
And then my mom goes, oh, and starts to like run.
And my dad goes, eh, calm down.
Right?
He just doesn't want to calm down because he knows that guy's not going to do nothing.
Yeah.
But then there was one time this car almost hit me and my brother.
And I've never seen my dad act out physically ever.
And he just starts slamming the hood of the car, right?
Inheriting The Earth With Honor00:03:41
Because that's a life or death situation.
You blow shit up.
The other one, nothing's going to happen.
What are you getting all fucking riled up about?
Yeah.
Yeah, but that wasn't reasonable of him because the car didn't hit you.
So why are you going to cause damage to the car that didn't do anything, just scared you?
That wasn't reasonable, but he stood up for your honor.
Early life.
Early life imprinting, bro.
They could have serious damages.
A serious, you know, PTSD and that kind of shit.
It's a real thing.
You think it's affected you still?
Say what?
Has it affected you still?
Yeah, honestly.
What do you think happens?
I just, you know, honestly, I don't, I don't feel comfortable talking about it.
I get a little emotional.
I get a little choked up when I'm talking about it.
Y'all really going to make me punch this matcha guy because you need to be able to do it.
And if something happens and I get locked up, that's on y'all.
I just want to say.
He already got out, locked up, whatever.
He just knew.
All right.
I'll testify for you.
All right.
Like, hey, yo.
This white nigga over here.
He could.
All right, guys.
Let's stop for a second.
Everybody's hair is looking crazy right now.
Let's be honest.
Crazy.
Absolutely crazy.
You know what?
We're blessed enough to have hair.
Huge blessing.
Huge blessing because the number one thing that describes how well a guy ages or defines how well a guy ages in life is having a full head of hair.
Yep.
There are guys that do not look young.
They have a full head of hair.
They're all of a sudden looking amazing for their age.
Yep.
Guy 22 years old, fully bald.
You're like, yo, that motherfucker's aging.
Tragic.
Tragic.
Bad.
Fully tragic.
Bad.
Yeah.
Right?
So you have the option to not go bald now.
Okay.
You have this as an option.
It is available to you as a human being.
This is the future.
You are fucking living in it right now.
It's a medical marvel.
Medical marvel.
It's a miracle.
Seriously, it's a miracle.
It's a miracle.
Absolutely.
It's a miracle.
Honestly, if Jesus didn't have amazing hair, he probably wouldn't be walking on water.
He'd be Judas.
Okay.
Wait, what is that?
Judas, the guy that betrayed Jesus.
But what about the hair?
If he was bald, he'd be Judas.
Oh, was Judas bald?
I don't know, probably.
See what happens?
Okay.
Do you know what I mean?
You really threw me off with that one.
My bad, yo.
My bad.
Point is.
Point is, you can keep your hair.
This is how you got to do it.
You go to keeps.com.
Okay.
Use this medication.
I've been using this for 10 years of my life.
Keeps.com.
What they're going to do is they're going to give you your first month free.
You can get a hair restoration and a keeping your hair product for low as $10 a month.
Simple as that.
$10 a month to keep your hair.
You spend way more money on that for things that do not get you even close to the amount of pussy that a full head of hair would.
Just be serious here.
$10 a month.
One drink is $15.
$10 a month.
You don't have to buy girls drinks when you've got a full, beautiful head of hair.
Simple as that.
It's going to save you money.
That $10 is actually going to save you money.
Keeps.com, okay, slash flagrant.
You can get your first month free.
That's what we're going to do for you.
And then you can get a program $10 a month.
I mean, come on.
Try it for a month.
It's going to work.
And then you're paying $10 as less than a Netflix subscription.
That's right.
Okay.
Way more valuable than Netflix.
This is what's going to get you to Netflix and chill, that full head of hair.
Yeah, without it, you're just chilling.
Exactly.
By yourself.
Yeah.
So, what I want you to do is you have to give it a few more months than just that first month.
Also, don't jump the gun with it.
It's going to take a few months to get in.
That being said, let those effects settle in and get that full head of hair back.
Let's get back to the show.
Keeps.com, K-E-E-P-S.com slash flagrant.
All right.
Robbing To Save On Hair Loss00:14:55
Anyway, all right, what else is going on?
Elon Musk opening up the country.
He, the fucking goat.
Mike Tyson about to box again.
Tyler Heroes, a hero.
What else you want to talk about?
Nigga, why are you just talking about the podcast for three fucking years?
Just pick one.
I'm waiting on it, bro.
I can read too, motherfucker.
Respond to something.
Come on.
Takashi.
Takashi.
Oh.
It's the greatest of all time.
There you go.
It's the greatest of all time.
And if you hate on Takashi, I was hoping you didn't.
If you hate on Takashi, you're crazy.
Somebody make the argument.
Somebody make the argument against Takashi.
I don't understand it.
I don't either.
Make an argument against Takashi.
I don't think he's going to last as long as you do, but he's not.
No, no, no.
I'm not talking about how long he lasts, but they fuck your baby mama, right?
They kidnap you.
They beat you up.
They try to kill you or they say they're going to kill you.
And they fuck with your mom.
And you're supposed to be loyal to them.
No, yeah.
That's not the full story.
What's the full story?
No, I'm saying we don't know the full story.
There's no way that he was rolling with these guys and all of a sudden they just all just turned on him like that.
I mean, he got rich and they didn't, right?
And that's what I'm saying.
You're supposed to take care of your people.
If your people are rolling, what you're supposed to take care of.
You think he didn't take care of them.
And that's why they...
Yeah.
There's no reason to steal from your dude if you're being taken care of.
I disagree.
I think when you hire rolling.
I think when you hire thieves, they do thieving shit.
Like these motherfuckers steal for, if you're part of a gang, right, that is selling drugs and like involved in illegal activity, you don't know how to turn that off.
It's not like, or very few people know how to turn that off.
So it's like, it's not like all of a sudden when you're making money, oh, we're going to go legit.
I'm going to accept my, you know, 5% that Takashi gives me or I'm going to do that.
No, they're like, hold up.
I could get a lick over here.
Okay, we got a million coming in.
Okay, I could actually scrape a few little bit off of this.
Like I could do this show for 80 grand.
Okay, if I cut this deal on the side, I'll give him the 60 and I'll keep 20.
I think they're trying to get money from them all over the place.
That I can understand, like just trying to skim shit off the top, which is still fucked up.
But I'm talking about the kidnapping moms and shit like that.
That is, hey, I'm getting you back for some shit.
Okay, okay.
So let's back up.
I think they broke the trust first by trying to steal.
And I think that came out a while back.
Remember when like he was supposed to do some show and then he canceled a bunch of dates?
He's like, because motherfuckers were stealing from me.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I believe he was told he was only going to make like $14,000 or some a show, but really he was making like 22 or some shit like that.
So they would just give more.
They told him a different number than what you're going to pay.
Not his life.
Yeah, yeah.
Not his money.
So then he just cut them all off like cold turkey.
As you should.
Yeah.
But then if you're going to stop my money, now they're going to.
But that's not his fault.
If that's how it happened, what I was thinking maybe could have happened is like, you know, he's throwing all this money around and maybe they think he's got it like that, but he doesn't.
Maybe he's flexing for more than just a grand.
Maybe they buy into it and he doesn't have that money.
And they're looking at him like, why is he not taking care of us?
You so fucking rich.
We're sitting here with nothing or whatever.
Fuck you.
And I don't think that's all about the money.
But if that is the case, if you're getting $30,000 a show and somebody says, hey, you're getting paid $20,000 and then they take $10, off the top, fuck you.
You're not getting me the shows.
I highly doubt his gang member friends are getting him a fucking gig in Del Del whatever in California.
Money's one element.
The other element is that, hey, he wasn't blood initially.
He got with this gang and then he started repping Treyway and they were his muscle.
And so they're the ones taking the risk like shooting at fucking rappers and beating people up and robbing motherfuckers.
But he's making those calls.
Like we saw him on the TMZ tape, like saying, yo, go send some shots at it or whatever, whatever, whatever.
So it's like.
Isn't how all of it works?
Yeah, but I'm saying if you're one of the generals and you're making the orders, it's like, nah, you with the gang too.
So now if the whole gang got caught up in the RICO, you got to go down with the gang as well.
You can't get it.
Can you explain RICO to people real quick?
What's the RICO?
Oh, that's, it's, I don't know what it stands, but it's basically just a law that the federal government came up with to take down gangs.
Giuliani actually found it, and that's how he broke the mafia.
It's pretty incredible.
Racketeering influenced in corruption organizations.
Yeah.
So it's like, if we can prove that you're going to catch you making, like actually doing the crime, but if we can prove you roll with the gang that did that crime, you all go down.
So this is the thing.
The mafia was really brilliant in the way they insulated the top dogs.
So there was no way to really get to the top dogs.
So they had to create some law where they could punish someone who was associated for it.
And I think there's Rico and then there's another one called like a conspiracy to commit crime or whatever like that.
So it's like, if there's a phone call about the crime that's going to be committed, even if you don't commit it, you're tied into it.
So these were laws basically made to break the Dons because the Dons were completely insulated from any bad shit was happening.
And then they start to use them on like, you know, the drug gangs and that kind of shit like that.
And this worked.
I mean, they got the whole fucking Bobby Shmurda, right?
Like all of them, they got on Rico.
Right.
So I guess with the 6ix9ine shit, it's tricky because you don't know which came first, the chicken or the egg, right?
My assumption is it's probably a little bit of both, right?
It's like a little bit of envy, like what Akash was saying, right?
And maybe they weren't being paid as much as they thought they should be.
And to be honest, they're not managers.
Yeah.
Right?
Like.
They're muscle.
They're muscle, but also they're the validating component in your career.
If you're going to be thug guy, you need this gang to be thug guy, not only to protect you, but to prove that you are blood when you say you're blood.
So they have every right, in my opinion, to have a negotiation with Takashi and be like, listen, Takashi, you're like a short, fat Mexican kid without us.
What value do we bring to you?
And if he says 5%, then they could be like, nah.
If he says, if he's a 10%, they could be like, nah.
It could be 50-50.
You don't know.
They have to decide what that's worth.
Takashi is clearly the criminal mastermind or just genius, not even criminal.
Like he found a way to make a career for himself.
It was like fucking brilliant what he did.
So they have to go, okay, maybe I'll take, you know what?
Maybe I'll take 1% of career earnings of this guy who might make $100 million in a career.
That's pretty nice.
They have to have the foresight to look at that.
And I think what happens is when you're a guy who, for a living, gets money quick, when you're a guy who's like, fuck, I need to pay rent.
I'm going to go rob a motherfucker.
When you just think about money now, it's hard to think about money in the future.
And I think they made a fucked up situation.
I think they stole or I think they did some little foul shit with his baby mama.
I think he cut him off.
And then from there on, then the other stuff happens.
But I think they started it.
Takashi has no incentive to start it.
Think about it.
He knows he needs muscle.
He knows he needs protection.
Why would he fuck those guys over?
I mean, if let's say if those guys think, hey, I'm supposed to be getting a percentage of the earnings, but Takashi hasn't really adjusted my payment, but all of a sudden we see him copping houses, whips, like the money's rolling in, but for some reason they're not rolling in for them.
I think you can grow resentment.
And especially this is not really my dude.
It's not my friend.
It's just somebody who attached himself to me.
This is a business relationship, yeah.
So it's like, nah, like, I can just see resentment growing.
You also can't do that.
I can see wrongs on both sides, but at the end of the day, if you're doing criminal activity together, you go down together because you're doing it together.
Real quick to that, real quick to that, though, is that's the tricky thing about if you're doing criminal activity together, you go down together, and why that doesn't work.
And Takashi spoke about this in his live is that he's like, What assurances do I have if I didn't rat that they wouldn't kill me in jail?
They were trying to kill me outside of jail.
You don't think they're gonna send someone at me in prison to kill me?
Of course they are.
So, what incentive do I have to not rat?
So, with Bobby Smurda, for example, that makes sense, though, right?
Bobby Schmurder could have taken a deal to rat on his dudes, not do any jail time, and they would have got a lot more time.
But the difference is, those are his dudes, and the way you're saying it, it's a business agreement.
But I would also say to this: if you're going to get in business with thug motherfuckers, know that if things go awry, they're going to handle things the way they know how.
That's a fact, but you knew what you were getting into.
But the difference between the Shmurda and the Takashi situation is Schmurder and his boys were on the same page.
Shmurda's boys weren't trying to kill Shmurda and fuck his girl and do all this foul shit to Smurda, right?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I see both sides, I see reasons on both sides.
How long was Takashi in jail?
I think a year, I believe.
He was supposed to do two.
He was in jail more than a year, right?
Well, one year, I think, waiting for trial, and then it was supposed to be like the sentence was two years.
So, he did one year waiting for trial, so they count that time, right?
Then, I think he did like six months, he got out early, and then he got out a little early.
But my feeling is like if they couldn't prove anything on any of them, he has no reason to snitch.
No, I'm pretty sure they had enough because once the feds come, feds usually don't lock people up until they have like a kid.
They got like a 90%, what is it, like a 97% conviction rate.
Yeah, so they're only coming through when they know it's going down.
It's just to me, we're man, we talk in absolutes about snitching because it has such a great rhyme with it: snitches get stitches, this, that, the other.
And I understand if you're operating outside the law, you don't have to involve the law.
I understand that from a culture perspective, and the law ain't necessarily been fair to you.
That's true.
Why the law?
What's the point?
Right, you right trust you, but at the same time, I find it very difficult to be loyal and to uphold the code to people who are not loyal to you.
I just don't understand that.
I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't in a fucking, are you kidding me?
You come at me, you steal from me, you do any of these types of shit, and I'm gonna be loyal.
Fuck that.
To that point, we have a home comic friend, Real Battle.
He would always have this bit about how, like, the snitches get stitch and shit.
Like, you should never snitch.
It's a little crazy.
And then the second he would say that it would get crazy.
And then he'd be like, basically, the joke was like, if a guy's molesting somebody, I don't remember the punchline, but that's a snitch situation.
That's not like you're not whatever.
You're not keeping the fucking code by not reporting somebody who's molesting kids, whatever.
Any black audience would get so uncomfortable the whole time.
They would just be like, nah, you could feel the resistance from the room.
And that always blew my mind.
Like, even if a dude is fucking kids, you don't snitch on that guy.
You remember when Cameron was asked that same question?
He's like, nah, I wouldn't snitch.
I just move away.
I think you think you'll handle it yourselves when the community or whatever.
But like, it's gonna move.
All right, how about this?
Everybody talking to the snitches gets stitched as shit.
Question: Everybody with the snitches gets snitches shit.
Whatever snitches gets snitches, they got no problem posting those two white dudes that killed the Ahmed Arbery.
No, but see, now that's different.
There's civilians, and now, no, there's civilians, and then there's people who are actually doing crime.
The snitches only particular, it's only that rule is only for people that are doing criminal stuff together.
I mean, so it's black people for no reason, it's criminal.
No, I'm talking about...
So a civilian, a regular civilian just telling on some molester, that's fine.
Or a regular civilian who's not doing crime telling the police on a drug dealer or some shit like that at the end of their block.
That's fine too.
Because they're not in the streets.
They're not part of that code.
It's the ones like, if you're involved, like Takashi was doing these crimes with them.
So that's why you don't snitch.
Got you.
No, that makes sense.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
It only applies to people who are doing criminal activity.
If you're a civilian, you're allowed to snitch all you should.
That's not true because they kill motherfuckers that they think are going to snitch.
They'll kill witnesses.
They'll do whatever they can to keep themselves alive.
Yeah, but I mean, that's different.
That's just, they want to do it.
I hate that shit when they're like, nah, he's a civilian.
Leave him alone.
Until you need to rob somebody.
You know what I mean?
It seems like you be robbing civilians.
That's what I'm saying.
The code is flimsy.
The code is flip-floppy.
Usually, like, I remember when I was in the courts, the biggest robbing cases were like a drug dealer robbing another drug dealer.
Because it's like neither one wants to get police involved.
Right.
Both operate with a lot of cash on hand because you can't put shit in banks and shit like that.
So that's like the best person to rob.
But you got to be honest, that's a big come up too.
If you're willing to take the risk of robbing a drug dealer, it's like you're not going to just get the $100 that's in his wallet.
You could get $10,000 worth of Coke.
Like, that's a big...
Like, there's no point in robbing a civilian.
Like, the most you get some credit cards that they're just going to cancel in two seconds.
Yeah, it is a weird thing.
It's like, honestly, I feel like robbing is kind of stupid.
It's gone down.
It must have, right?
Now they're assaulting credit cards?
Yeah, now that it's a paperless, what are you getting off this guy?
You might get a watch or some shit like that.
But if you came up to me and you're like, I'm not suggesting this, but you're like, if you said, give me your wallet and then beat me up, or if you just said, yo, yo, man, like, I don't want to fucking shoot you.
Can you just give me the cash you got?
I just give you the cash.
And they also enjoy the beating you up.
I think there's this.
No, I'm just saying hypothetically, in the past, you would prefer not getting into an altercation.
So you just, yeah, just add it.
I'd rather have it go smooth.
So how would it go hypothetically?
Nah, you'd just be like, yo, empty your pockets.
Bang.
And they don't empty it.
You empty it for.
Now, what if, yeah, what if we start to like fight and that kind of shit?
I mean, then you fight.
And then you keep record of your fucking.
Nah, but I'm just saying it's like people don't really rob civilians that much.
And now the laws have changed where now it's a felony if you rob anything over, I believe, $800.
So just by taking a phone.
So this is really interesting.
So yeah, it's called grand larceny.
I think everything, is it $500 or like $1,000?
I forgot the exact number, but now they made it so low where it's like, basically you take anything off somebody.
It's almost a felony.
It's not only that it's so low, it's that we're all of a sudden walking around with things that are way more expensive.
Yeah.
Like it'd be rare to walk around with something with $1,000 if you're not a rich dude that's got like a nice watch.
Yeah, back in like the 90s, 80s, whatever.
But it's super normal that you got your computer or you got your cell phone or you got these things.
It happened to be worth thousands of dollars.
So when someone just grabs your backpack, back in the day, someone would grab your North Face backpack or they grab your Jansport or some shit.
Now, if you got a laptop in there, you go to fucking prison, bro.
Grand Larceny And House Arrest00:03:36
Yeah.
If they press charges.
Yeah, man.
Maybe it's good.
So now, what if you saw someone that killed like Biggie or Tupac?
Street Code.
Street School got him.
But they didn't.
I mean, they did, though.
All right.
Yeah, we sold it, guys.
We did it.
No, did they get it?
Yeah, the guy who killed Biggie.
He's dead.
Really?
Yeah.
They believe that?
Yeah.
Like, they're pretty certain they know who the guy was.
And what about Pac?
I'm pretty sure they got, they think it's either that cop, that undercover cop that was working with What's His Face Suge?
Yeah.
And there was suspect of one other person.
I'm not sure the person he got into a fight with at the casino earlier.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
Stomped the shit out of that guy.
Yeah, they beat up the dude.
Yeah.
And what about the dude that killed Nipsey?
They found him?
Yeah, he got locked in.
He turned himself in.
Oh, really?
But what's up with him?
Is he still...
I don't know.
Like, I'm pretty sure he's on solitary because if he's in general pop, they're going to get to him.
So he turned himself in to protect himself from the streets.
Pretty much, yeah.
Yeah.
Damn, bro.
Yeah.
Streets take care of streets, bro.
Yo, so a totally separate note.
I don't know.
Something ought to know.
But on a lighter note, it's pretty dope that, like, how Takashi, his way of branding.
That's what I'm most impressed with.
He's a fucking genius.
His way of branding is fucking incredible.
You have to admit he's a genius.
Come home, breaks every single fucking record, 2 mil on Instagram live.
I didn't even know they could support 2 million people.
Son, that shit was mad funny where everybody's bragging about the little 300,000.
And they're like, there was 300,000 watching Teddy Riley and Babyfist.
Cute.
This motherfucker, you cannot deny him.
And if you deny him, you're a hater.
You're a hater, bro.
I still think Instagram fixed something with their live because now live works way better.
And like people, the Erica Badu and Jill Salt.
Got 700,000.
But still, 2 million, bro, and fucking bodied it and knew exactly what was going to happen.
Yeah, and he broke the record most views of a music video in a day.
It was 47 million.
He's already at 100 million.
You have to see what videos he's shooting in his backyard.
I have to know.
Another funny thing is that apparently he's living in Long Island.
And so every time he moves into a place, he's so recognizable with all the colored hair and the cards and stuff like that.
So some little kid films him.
It's like on her porch filming him while he was filming himself on his porch.
He's had to move twice already.
Nah.
See, they're going to regret letting him go.
They're going to regret it, dude.
And eventually he's just going to have to go, hey, this is life.
I got to deal with it.
Nah, just go to Europe.
No, he could.
I think because of the jurisdiction, he has to stay in New York.
Oh, that's another thing.
He is a felony, right?
Yeah.
So he can't travel.
At all.
Can't go to Canada.
Maybe some European countries will allow him to do it.
He's on house arrest for the duration of his sentence.
How long?
Like, they let him out early.
How long is the duration?
You said he would have got two years and he got one for snitching?
No, no, no.
So he had one year waiting for trial, and then I think he was in prison for about six to eight months, something like that.
Do we know what he would have got if he didn't snitch?
What he was late?
He's probably the same amount of time the other dude got, or maybe a little bit less because they wouldn't have been able to pin one thing on him.
But they got locked up locked up.
Yeah, they got years, like probably like 10, 15, something like that.
Now, do you think people are really trying to kill him?
Tony Ferguson Boxing Jurisdiction00:12:43
Yes.
Yeah, I would.
Absolutely.
Like, he couldn't walk out.
Like, I mean, people, there's still people part of that gang that aren't locked up.
That's a good point, man.
Whatever, bro.
This shit is so weird.
I don't even think you need house arrest, dog.
I'm going to be honest with you.
Like, if George Zimmerman is still walking around, does anybody really need to go to what's it called?
To like, what is it called?
Talk about peace.
Street justice.
Yeah, I think he has security, though.
He walks around with security.
How does he afford this security?
Because there's so many people donating to him.
All the fucking races.
Yeah.
Remember, he made a painting that sold for like $100,000.
Nah.
Guy doesn't even fucking paint.
Really?
Yeah, but it was just ways for races to support that.
And like, hey, keep you afloat.
We stand by you.
Anyway.
All right.
Let's switch this shit up.
This gang shit doesn't make sense to you.
Nah, it does.
I'm just like, I think we're all on the same page.
Yeah, let's do it.
You know, okay.
There was an amazing fight card.
Did you guys see this?
I did not see it.
UFC 249, it was one of the best fight cards I've ever seen.
By fight card, I mean like all the fights that were on it.
Yeah.
It was one of the best fight cards I've ever seen.
I'm like a longtime boxing fan.
Yeah.
MMA is the sport of the future.
It is undeniably more entertaining.
It is done undeniably more digestible for the average fan.
How so?
It's easier.
Five five minute rounds.
So it's 25 minutes.
You know what it is?
And a boxing match is only 30.
Yeah, I guess so.
You know what I mean?
Maybe a little bit longer, 36 minutes or whatever.
But the thing with boxing is you kind of need a this is not like an intelligence thing.
Like you don't need a higher IQ, but it's the same thing with baseball.
Like people who watch baseball understand the game.
Understand the game.
They understand like the pitching strategy.
They understand all these other little nuances of baseball.
So they can really appreciate it.
The average fan that just comes in to watch baseball, they're like, I don't get it, bro.
This guy's striking out all the time.
They're just eating.
Are they eating?
Like, what's happening?
He gets on base three out of 10 times.
I'm supposed to be impressed.
Yeah, like this is not good, right?
Same thing with soccer.
Like a lot of people watch soccer and they're like, where's the action, bro?
Like, what's going on?
Right.
We grew up watching boxing, so I think we're grandfathered into it.
But the future generations, like, you cannot know anything about MMA and fall in fucking love with the absolute carnage that exists within it.
Now, it's possible that it gets more boring, like boxing, as the athletes get better at the sport.
You know, when you reach the top of anything, it's very hard for it to be exciting because everything you do, I know how to counter.
And everything I do, you know how to counter.
So there's a version of a stalemate.
But right now, MMA is in a pretty rough space still where like there are random guys that aren't that technical.
They're just massively talented.
Like this guy, Francis Nganu, he's this guy from Cameroon, I believe.
He is massive, 6'4, 260 pounds, solid fucking rock.
And he went up against this other guy named Jarzinho Rosenstreich or something like that.
The guy calls him out.
Jarzinho Rosenstrike calls him out and says, I want to fight this guy.
And he's like, I can't believe anybody would call me out.
20 seconds, knocks him out in 20 seconds.
He just goes straight at him.
He just runs straight out and throws this big looping right hand.
Jarzinho catches him with a hook.
It doesn't even phase him.
Knocks him his head, completely unconscious, punches him a couple more times, fights over, go home.
I mean, unbelievable.
There was another fight where these two guys are just tagging off on each other's faces.
Both of them look like clowns afterwards.
I mean, eyes puffy, completely swollen, dripping blood all over the place.
The main card, Justin Gaetchy versus Tony Ferguson, Tony Ferguson is destroyed by the end of this fight.
Like his face looks like a saw mask.
Remember that movie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what he looked like.
It was unbelievable.
I mean, and he has so much heart.
He's just going in there.
He's getting cracked by the guy Gaetchy the entire time.
Impossible to not like this.
It's impossible to not like the sport.
Right.
I mean, it was just like, I'm seeing what fight, I'm seeing what fight spores will be in the future.
And there's no way it can't be this.
And you know what makes it so great?
The tyranny of it.
Democracy in a lot of ways killed boxing.
How so?
Too many belts, too many.
So because there is merit in who fights who in boxing, right?
We've had to create more belts.
When there was just one belt per division, you know what can happen?
A really boring guy gets the belt and that guy maintains the belt forever.
And it's boring because his style sucks.
Yeah.
Right?
The beauty of MMA is two people you don't even know can fight each other and it can be the most exciting fight in the world because it's the closest thing to a street fight or a bar fight.
And we'll watch those all day.
Right.
Right.
So what they do, the UFC is one organization.
So they control all the matchmaking, et cetera.
They decide who fights who.
They say you're the second ranked contender, but if they don't want you to fight them, you don't fight them.
You can't sue.
Yeah.
In boxing, you have these multiple organizations and you're fighting for belts in each one.
And the organizations are competing against each other and switching rankings and that kind of stuff.
You kind of got to like pay a guy off if you want to fight someone else instead.
There's a little bit more merit in it.
The fact that there's one guy in MMA or in the UFC specifically going, you're fighting this guy can create these amazing fights because that one guy can go, ah, those styles aren't going to match up.
Don't let them fight.
It'll be boring.
And then you create a figure like Cowboy Cerrone.
Have you heard of the Cowboy Sarone?
I know of him.
Cowboy Cerroni in boxing would be like a journeyman boxer who like never really amounted to much, but would fight a couple fights and then he'd be out of there.
He became a superstar in MMA because they matched him perfectly with guys around his talent level.
And then every once in a while when he jumps up to like the elite elite, he gets his ass kicked.
This is the one McGregor beat the shit out of him.
Yes.
And like loved him, like was actually gracious and nice.
And yeah.
But that's what happens.
That guy's such a great character and makes amazing fights no matter who he's with.
So what you do is you make him fight guys that are around his level that he can beat.
Yeah.
And then you take this character and you make him this like almost folk hero within MMA, but you never really expose him to the craziest shit.
And then you do when he can make a lot of money.
Hey, you've done a lot of good work for the business.
You're going to fight McGregor.
You're going to make your big paycheck.
And you could do this with a bunch of little fighters and have them have these really exciting fights and build them up.
Unlike boxing, where it's like, okay, you kind of got to fight this guy because he's your mandatory challenger and yada, yada, yada.
I think it's brilliant, man.
Do you think it was like so good because you haven't seen live sports in a while?
I think there's part of it.
I think it's definitely part of it.
I think I was craving something that was just happening in the moment.
I'll be honest, I didn't even, that didn't bother me at all that nobody was in there.
I really liked it.
Like, did you listen to it?
You watch a fight?
It didn't really affect it that much.
It was a little weird at the beginning, but by the end, I didn't even notice.
Dude, I think it improved it.
Because sometimes the audience woos and oohs and ahs at punches that don't really connect and it throws you off and it maybe can throw the judges off.
But when there's just a few guys in there, like literally the fighters could hear their coaches coaching them.
Oh shit.
And you could hear the fighters talking to their coaches.
Yeah.
Right.
You could hear Rogan and Cormier and the other guy talking during the fight.
At one point, they all go, oh, shit, I think the fighters can hear us.
We should lower our voices.
That's crazy.
Because they're being critical of a guy who's actually in the ring getting his fucking face punched in.
See, it's funny.
It's like, I usually like the excitement of the crowd because then usually Rogan has to like yell over them and it adds to that excitement.
It's like he's yelling and he just has that energy.
He's just like, oh, shit, he's hype.
I'm hungry, too.
So it's like, I guess I thought it would take away a little bit from you.
You think, but when you get in there, it's really kind of nice.
And like, you get kind of locked in and quiet.
Like, I don't know.
Like, I'm sure when you've had fights, whenever you have a fight, you can't hear anything.
Oh, yeah.
Any fight I've ever had, like even when I would spar, sound didn't exist.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
And that's kind of what happens in the fight.
Nobody's there.
Don't get me wrong.
It's fun to go to fights.
I can't wait till people get back.
But it didn't take away from the experience that bad.
And being able to hear the corners was really interesting.
It was cool.
Yeah.
It really adds something.
Tony Ferguson, his corner, had some of the worst advice I've ever heard in my entire life.
Like at one point, the guy goes, breathe, Tony.
Actually, no, that's not bad advice.
That's not bad advice on.
Because you know, you box as well.
There's times where it's like you're just throwing, And then you gash yourself out, not realizing, but it's like if you were breathing that whole time, you can keep going.
At this level, you breathe when you punch and you breathe when you kick.
This is the elite of the elite, right?
It's like you don't have to, you tell that to somebody at their first day of boxing class where you go, don't hold your breath when you throw your punches, actually exhale.
Matter of fact, if anybody's listening right now and you hear a lot of times when people punch, you hear them go, ha, that's just a like Pavlovian response to throwing a punch to remind yourself to breathe.
But the, the, and like, yo, I love Eddie Bravo.
I think this guy's a like a great character, but it seemed like Tony was not paying attention to his corner at all.
Like, it really seemed like, like, Eddie at one point was like, you might want to try one of these roles called like a something uminari role.
It's basically Luminari.
Uminari.
Uminari role.
And he like subtly suggested it.
I got a feeling you can't tell Tony Ferguson what to do.
I got a feeling like his camp is just a little similar to like Ali's camp where it's like, you don't tell Ali what to do.
Ali comes with the idea and then you help him execute it.
Ali's Ali though.
100%.
You know what I mean?
And Tony Ferguson hadn't lost since 2012.
Like he was an elite elite fighter.
He just went up against this guy, Justin Gacci, who I knew he was going to lose to.
I was texting Brandon Shaw about it.
Because his styles don't match.
Every time I saw Tony Ferguson fight, he had no defense for hands.
Unbelievable athlete, unbelievable stamina, unbelievable courage and fucking heart, and very hard puncher.
He could punch hard, but he had no head movement, no defense for hands.
So he would get caught all the time.
This guy, Justin Gacci, throws bombs.
Yeah.
It's dangerous.
He is a dangerous fucking guy to be in the ring with.
And if you have no defense, he's going to tag you up.
He is the perfect guy to beat Tony Ferguson.
And you know what sucks?
Tony Ferguson, I think, had the best chance of beating Khabib.
And now he's never going to get to fight him.
Stylistically.
Because Khabib will take you to the ground.
And Tony Ferguson has amazing jujitsu.
So I wanted Khabib to take Tony to the ground and then maybe Tony be able to pull some cool shit, throw some elbows, cut him up.
Now Justin Gacey is going to fight Khabib.
Not even a fight.
What's that?
It won't even be a fight.
And it won't be a fight.
You're an MMA fan?
Yeah, kind of, tangentially.
Okay.
But it's just like Khabib is so amazing.
He's going to take Gaetchy to the ground.
Granted, Gaetchy has a wrestling background.
He was successful.
He was an NCAA all-American wrestler of like North Colorado or something like that.
But Khabib is a generational talent with wrestling.
He's going to take him to the fucking ground.
He's going to hold him there.
It's going to be a boring fight.
You know who would be a fireworks of a fight?
Connor versus Gacey.
And I hope they make that fight.
Weren't they talking shit to each other?
Oh, Connor was going in on Twitter.
And Gaetchy was firing back, right?
I don't know if Gaetchy's responded yet.
I didn't go down.
I think I might have it.
You just had the, what's it called?
Connor tweets.
Okay.
Yeah.
And, but that would be a fucking barn burner.
Just two guys just boxing, going at it.
Yeah.
I mean, this would be the boxing kick, but this is what you want from MMA.
It's just striking, kicking, punching.
And I think Connor, I think Connor gets the best of him.
Really?
I think so.
I mean, this Gage guy is good, but he does get tagged.
He can get tagged because he likes to engage.
And Connor has, he has, he has a lot of power in that fucking left hand.
Connor can box.
If there's one thing we learned from the Mayweather fight, elite head movement.
Yeah.
Elite timing.
Say again?
I remember you saying that.
Yeah.
In the moment, even.
Yeah.
So it's like, okay, he impressed me with that.
So if you're going up against a guy who's just going to bob and move with you and try to exchange with you, I think Connor can get it.
When you're going up against a guy who's willing to take your shots and then take you to the ground and exhaust you, Connor's got no gas tank.
He got two rounds in him tops.
Five rounds, forget it.
MMA Striking And Food Dye00:15:28
Yeah.
You know?
So we'll see what happened, but I'm excited that we got some more fights.
I thought Gage said some shit like, you've lost to everybody.
Get the fuck out of here.
Like, I thought, if you can look into it, Mark, I think Gage responded to him.
He responded?
I thought so.
There was another story I read that I should have copy-pasted instead.
But yeah, I thought this was the most up-to-date when the ESPN was.
Dude, Gates is a fun character, man.
Like, he's a really sweet guy.
Really?
Dude, he's like, man, if I wasn't doing this, I'd be doing social work.
Like, that's what I got my degree in.
Yeah, I just be helping at-risk youth.
Like, that's why I just want to help kids.
Like, I just love doing that.
I'm like, you guys, I am violent in here.
You will never see that, even a shred of this outside the ring.
Like, I literally, I think that's our purpose: come here and just help people.
And this is the best adrenaline rush in the fucking world.
I love it.
You know, I mean, who knows?
He could beat the shit out of his wife next week.
We have no fucking clue.
But until then, like, he seems like a sweetheart of a guy.
It's a nice, it's a nice thing to like.
It's not in theoretically, it's nice to have this guy who's his badass in the ring and then out of the ring.
He's the nicest guy in the world.
It's just like when you have one of those pet tigers licking your face and shit, but you know, at any point in time, it could be over.
Yeah.
Can we talk about the goat?
Who?
Tyler Harrow's girl?
Okay, so okay.
I don't understand what's going on here.
So Akash brings up that Tyler Harrow, who is a basketball player for the Miami Heat.
What is he, like a two or three guard?
Probably, yeah, he's probably a small forward.
Okay.
Tyler just got some corn roast.
Tyler showed up.
I mean, this is the white kid.
Like, if you look at his college pictures, high school picture, this is just a white kid.
Yeah.
But he gets drafted by Miami.
Yeah.
And there's even a video.
I don't remember what Tyler Hero says, but Jimmy Butler's like, oh, I know you hang out with black folks or some shit like that.
This is like before the year started.
He plays basketball for a living.
But like some down, you're down, whatever, some shit like that.
But then now, all of a sudden, you see Tyler Harrow.
He's got cornrows, I guess.
I don't know what is that.
Cornrows.
And you don't know what Cornrows.
You know, but it's different.
It's not just regular ass Kawhi Leonard braids.
It's like some ill shit.
He's got a style on it.
He got cornrows.
Yeah, but I didn't know if it had a different thing I didn't know about John 30.
And he's got Katya Elise Henry, who is IG bad bitch, 2 million followers.
You like this girl.
You think this is fun.
This girl is beautiful.
Everybody's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.
7.5 million followers first.
Keep it correct.
7.5 million followers is that's you were saying, but you were saying before the podcast, you would do anything to be with this girl.
So tell me, what did you mean by that?
You would do anything to be with her.
Well, you're talking about my girl or this girl?
He's slick.
So you like, but you like this?
You think this is a joint to you?
Yeah, she's a joint.
She got 7.5 million followers.
I think this is rare.
Jay pulls up the worst picture of her and he's like, she's not cute.
I think this is ray.
I think she's regular.
I think you find these dime a dozen.
This is when I was saying that white girl wasn't giving good head.
And I was like, this is dime a dozen, bro.
This girl's a waitress at that slushy spot in Miami that we went to.
I've known about her for years.
But I don't think that this is.
She's a cute girl.
She's cute.
And she's got a little bit of a butt, but the butt's not crazy.
I love it.
That butt's not crazy.
Y'all never had ass.
That's the problem with that.
Y'all never had no ass if you think that's a crazy ass.
Go back.
That's not that crazy of an ass, bro.
Y'all never had no ass.
It's not that crazy.
Y'all never had ass.
Y'all never had some trunk.
It's crazy.
She's bad.
And 7.5 million followers off of being bad.
If you pull that, that's the trophy.
He got the trophy, bitch.
I mean, does he, bro?
Let's see the feet.
That I don't know.
He does a good job hiding them.
Yeah, that's the thing.
If you don't see feet, if she's wearing socks in the pictures, it might be a problem, bro.
Might be a problem, bro.
You never know.
She might have bad feet, but you know what?
Oh, that first picture right there, kind of crazy.
Oh, yeah.
The story.
No, the story.
The story.
Oh, yeah.
That's her thumb.
Yo, I don't know, dog.
It's so many of these girls, man.
I'll be honest with you, man.
You need a girl with a cool personality, man.
Everybody, you know what I mean?
Got cool hobbies and shit.
You know what I mean?
Does she drink matcha?
Does she drink matcha?
Does she have passions?
Bro, you'd have to beat up a lot of dudes with her.
I'm going to be honest, she might drink matcha.
Nah, that's coffee, dog.
But she had avocado toast.
Yeah, that's super white.
That's why I think she might drink matcha also.
Yo.
She might not have been in a matcha mood.
Yo.
That's true, though.
Yo, the next food that black people are going to take is avocado toast.
You think?
Yeah, we're going to take that.
Why do you think?
It's like it's just becoming so popular.
The same way how we took over hummus.
Yeah.
We're taking avocado toast next.
You're going to take avocado toast.
It's so funny you took over hummus.
We didn't even know until Kev was on the podcast.
Black people like hummus.
No, I love hummus.
I've loved hummus before Kev said that.
Yeah.
So you think avocado toast is your next shit?
It's the next shit.
Okay.
Okay.
And why?
What is what is your nothing?
It's healthy.
It's nutritious.
It's delicious.
It's delicious.
Some white people be on to some food sometimes.
We ain't giving them credit, but pumpkin is fantastic.
We act like it's not.
Every November, you're getting some pumpkin.
Can we be honest?
If we're being honest, white people are the best at food?
I think so.
I really think so.
If we're being honest, who is the best at food?
If we're being honest with ourselves, if we're truly being honest.
How do you mean that?
Do you mean like who has like the best restaurant?
It's a white guy, or like cuisine, white cuisine is the best.
I think white people are the best.
Okay, who can jump the highest?
White people?
No.
Who can jump the highest?
I'm doing a thing here.
I thought we're doing it.
No, You can jump the highest, black people, right?
Okay.
Now, I think what black people have in their jumping ability, white people have in their tongue.
Nah, bro.
Yeah.
Nah, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
No, no.
I believe this.
They can taste incredibly specific things because their food has so little flavor.
Exactly.
They have to identify all of it.
But keep going, though.
Keep going on this.
That's right.
You guys need all this flavor because y'all don't got the sensitive tongue.
You girl, like, oh, your chicken's so bland.
It's like, nah, you don't know the little flavor out here.
Like, you don't know that little tiny bit of flavor.
Like, it's that simple.
White people know differences between water.
Like, think about that.
Think about that.
Oh, I don't like Evian.
Why not?
Oh, it's different.
It has flavor within water.
Listen, it's hard for me to explain this to non-whites, but I'm going to try, bro.
Listen, I tell y'all, listen, when we go, oh my God, that's too hot.
That's too whatever.
We have the most sensitive tongue like that.
But that's why your cuisine is whack because you can't, your tongue is too sensitive.
Nah, but what happens?
You have to make it for this sensitive ass.
But what happens when we make cuisine for everybody else?
When we figure out what it is you like, right?
Yeah.
Listen, we use cuisine.
That's how white people control the world.
They use cuisine, right?
Black people are all angry because they shot the black guy on the street.
What do we do a week later?
Popeye's chicken sandwich.
Let's go.
They dropped that chicken sandwich.
And you're about to ruin the chicken sandwich right out.
Son, they dropped that chicken sandwich on y'all, bro.
That's what white people wait for, dog.
They dropped that chicken sandwich.
We had another chicken sandwich right now for Aubrey.
Go on right now.
Go on right now and see people fighting outside of Popeyes.
You can see all over 20.
Oh, there's nobody fighting outside.
You don't think they're fighting out of Popeyes?
Hold on.
Popeye starts doing delivery tomorrow, though.
Hold on.
They're not that crazy.
We got Uber Eats.
Hold on.
Okay, they're not fighting outside of Popeyes.
Hold on.
Who are I doing Salines moving?
Who going to do Salines movie?
You're going to do Sales?
Are you sure they're fighting?
I thought that's just how they ordered, bro.
Everybody get back in their car going about their day.
I'm not going to do nothing.
This dusty ass bitch ain't gonna drop with 11 inches.
Oh, this is just a roast.
He just roasted everybody in the car.
That just sounds like Popeyes.
Exactly.
That's Popeyes, bro.
But ain't nothing changed.
That's not a fight.
That's just a normal damn Popeye.
Son.
It sounds like someone disrespected that girl's girl.
And so they had to go in.
So they went in.
So they went in and they put the new chicken sandwich out, bro.
That wasn't even a Popeye.
Look, Google, right now, they got the chicken sandwich back.
Then they bin had it back.
Yeah, they did it.
Nah, they redid it back.
If they bin had it back, what are they talking about?
They redid it back.
They redid it back.
They re-did it back.
It went away.
It went away.
They redid it back.
Bro, for real.
I'm just saying, dog.
Nah, y'all tried it.
You don't think white people...
All right, who's the black guy Fieri?
Son, Cisco.
I couldn't think anything else.
That was great.
Holy fuck.
And that's dog song right there.
Ain't nothing guy Fiery made.
Come close to thongs on.
Son, I'm just saying.
You got to put some respect on white people's tongues, bro.
White people cuisine, bro.
Your tongue is incredibly sensitive.
That's why your food is Gadaba.
No, no, no.
That's exactly what it is.
I took your point.
Shit on it.
That's what I did.
You had a point.
I took a shit on it.
Son.
You have a sensitive tongue.
You have a sensitive tongue.
That's why white cuisine, bad bland.
Because it's like, oh, we can only put so much in pepper and make Indiana.
What did you have for dinner last night, bro?
Keep it 100.
What did I have?
You didn't have no fucking curry for dinner, did you?
What'd you have?
I honestly don't remember.
Yeah, you don't remember, do you?
It was so black.
Chipotle.
Yeah.
That's white people doing Mexican food.
Stupid.
Fucking dummy.
That is not white people.
It is white people doing Mexican food.
Yeah.
White nigga.
Yeah.
Who's the white cook at Chipotle?
Honestly, everybody's food is Mexican.
I don't give a fuck what kind of cuisine it is.
That shit is Mexican.
Who's that?
So who's cooking?
The person who makes the food, that's whose cuisine it is?
I mean, it seems that.
I'm just saying, if the person who makes the food, that's kind of cuisine it is.
What is Chipotle?
What'd you say?
Chipotle American grill?
McDonald's.
Owned by McDonald's.
Owned by McDonald's.
They sold it to McDonald's.
Mexican grill, though.
Chipotle Mexican.
Who they sell it to?
Who'd they sell it to?
Who do you think bought it?
I got the most money.
Ain't nobody arguing with that.
If I want to sell some shit, I'm going to sell it to white people.
Damn.
What do you think?
I'm going to sell it to some cheap ass brown people, undervalue my shit?
Damn right.
I want to get a good deal.
Damn right.
I want to make money.
You know what I'm saying?
That's something y'all could claim, but don't claim food.
Y'all don't got it.
You have to be honest.
If you look at top-tier chefs, probably going to have the most white food.
But only because white people like that food.
That's what.
White people desire.
That's what matters.
Like, you don't care what white people say about Indian food, do y'all?
No.
Exactly.
So why do we care what y'all say about white?
You're recommending Indian restaurants to me, and I'm like, chill, fam.
Nah.
I recommend that one one that was good.
Which one?
It was, what was it?
The fucking.
No, no, it's like a famous London Brick Lane.
It's called Brick Lane.
Brick Lane.
All right.
I'm going to be honest.
No, no, that's a famous London one.
I'm going to honestly.
Right?
Yeah, but I didn't listen to you until Indians took me there.
I was like, I was right, though.
You're right, though.
I was right.
You're right.
And you know why it's good?
Because it's in London.
You know what I'm saying?
It's in London.
A lot of Indians out there.
It's in London, bro.
A lot of Indians out there.
You think white people invented all food?
I think white people invented eating.
I think y'all were breastfeeding before we came around.
We were like, yo, hop off that titty.
Have a sandwich.
Fucking crazy.
I really think that's what happened.
I really think.
Nah, I think that's what happened, bro.
I think in India, y'all were just sucking milk out of titties, bro, like the cows and shit.
And then all of a sudden.
Hey, cows are sacred.
Cows are sacred.
White people came up and you were like, nah, they were like, nah, try some rice or whatever.
Like, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Like, come on, bro.
Like, you know, you got some tiki, you got some masala.
Like, let's do this.
Like, let's make a meal.
You know what I mean?
The only tiki white people know about is the torch in Charlottesville.
Don't come here with that shit.
Gotta admit, white people did create Indian cuisine.
You have to admit that.
You have to admit that.
You have to admit.
Hop over this fucking dish.
You gotta admit.
You think you had an oven before white?
White people invented oven.
Get out of my face.
Nah, white people invented ovens.
India is an oven.
Yeah, bro.
Just throw the food outside.
Nah, be honest, bro.
There was no chickens in India before white people.
We had everything.
You didn't have chickens.
We had everything.
Do you even think you had cow?
I think white people brought cows, bro.
I'm going to be honest with you.
You can smack the shit out of it, right?
What's that?
No, I will.
Hey, bro, keep talking that shit, bro.
See what happened in Puerto Rico?
What happened in Puerto Rico?
We took that electricity because y'all didn't appreciate it.
Y'all were not appreciating it.
No.
Why don't we be honest about why you don't have electricity?
Why that grip really broke?
You blame it on the fucking hurricane.
You play a goddamn music soup fucking loud.
You probably blew the fuse before fucking hurricane.
Then the hurricane comes through a little water.
You're like, oh, the electricity broke it.
We know how the electricity turned out the fucking music.
Hey, maybe many of y'all just paid your bills.
You know what I mean?
I think these mad pants do.
Real talk.
That could be it.
Nah.
Nah.
We back.
We all call Feeni, son.
Oh, you're right about it.
But no, but let's go.
Let's keep making these arguments.
Okay, go.
Best food.
Honestly, you know who has a legitimate claim to the throne?
And I'm going to say this objectively as a white Mexicans, bro.
Yeah.
I truly believe.
Give it to them, but that's fair.
I'm just saying.
That's fair.
As a white, and obviously I have the best tongue and have the best palate.
Sensitive tongue for sure.
Most sensitive tongue, God-given talent.
Right?
God from God?
I can objectively say Mexicans have the best, probably the best cuisine.
You know, most sensitive is just another way to say weakest, right?
Say again?
Most sensitive is just another way to say weakest, right?
Did you say white people are weak?
Yeah, your tongues are.
I mean, we're weak.
Is that what you're saying?
Are we tongues?
I mean, it does.
Yeah.
If you think that we're weak, right?
Weak in the tongue.
Weak in the tongue.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Weak in the tongue, right?
How did you guys get freedom from us?
Not eating your shitty ass food.
Not using your tongue.
What?
Oh.
Hunger strikes.
Hunger strike.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But do you know what that really was about?
Your food sucks.
No, it wasn't our food.
Uh-huh.
You stopped eating your food.
And we're like, you know what?
They get it.
They deserve freedom.
They're no longer savages.
We fix them.
That's what they said.
I would love to fix it.
I was on the email.
To stop loving Indian food.
I would love if white people stopped loving Indian food.
That made me so happy.
We don't really like it.
White People Stopping Indian Food Love00:02:48
You bring those fucking big-ass tortilla chips to the table.
It's just one.
They don't even cut them in triangles.
That one shit.
They don't slap.
What is it?
Papur.
Papur.
We take that papur.
We dip it into them three sauces.
It tastes exactly the same, but they're different colors.
You got Skittles and sauces.
What is spicy?
What is spicy?
This bitch brings fucking sauces.
They just chop up some onions.
They put some food dye in that shit.
One of the sauces fucking blue for no reason.
That's all it is.
You put the fucking food dye in there.
It tastes exact same.
You got one big tortilla chip.
I got to snap that.
All the fucking crumbs go over the goddamn table.
Hey, you know what?
Them chips are free.
Say again?
You should be happy.
Them chips are free.
You know how hard it is for Indians to give anything free?
Son, that's why I don't believe it.
Say what?
We give that shit from our heart.
What do you give for your heart?
The fucking the papa.
That's our heart.
We give the free, free food.
Yeah, bro.
The free Indian food is the worst.
How come when I leave?
I have to eat fucking bird seeds in the bowl and shit.
What's that like fucking liquor?
Oh, you don't like a mouth freshener after the meal?
That's why is that the mouth freshener?
Like, you never heard of gum.
Why y'all always want to smell bad?
What is it about you guys just so committed to smelling horrible, son?
What is it about that?
It's like, like, there's gum right there.
You could do chiclet.
And who made chiclet?
Mexicans, bro.
I'm telling you.
I'm fine with Mexican.
Mexicans might have the best.
I told y'all, I'm fine with Mexicans, right?
Y'all could give them.
But say objectively, they have the best food.
No, I won't say that.
Objectively.
Objectively, they are up there.
Up there with whites.
Can I tell you white people that got grapefruit objectively?
Who?
Italianos.
We all like Italian.
We all know.
Hey, hey, hey, careful.
Mike's expensive.
You're right.
You're right.
You paid for it.
Okay.
But white people.
Well, listen, Italians, excellent cuisine.
That is great white cuisine.
Anybody who says it's not is hateful.
It's like, can I say, as an objective observer, honestly, okay?
My background is Scottish and German.
White and white.
Go ahead.
White and white.
Yeah.
Poor cuisine.
Oh, yeah.
Poor cuisine.
Okay.
Poor.
Yeah.
Scottish food, not good.
German food, not good.
They ain't been at hot dogs and hamburgers.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Not good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not good.
That being said, okay.
Obviously, there's a bigger thing at play here.
You know what I mean?
Like, we, you know, white people got to diversify what we're good at.
You know, Italians are going to do the food thing, right?
Scots are going to do, I don't know what we're good at.
And Germans, you know, we're not going to mention.
These motherfuckers be engineers, bro.
Saving Money On Home Insurance00:03:16
Hell yeah.
These motherfuckers be engineering.
We're coming up with so many solutions.
Bro, I don't know if you need another one after, to be honest with you.
I don't think you need another after.
I think Mexicans just came from.
You know what they say?
Third Reich's a charm.
Got away from him.
This guy's trying to get us cancer.
30 days.
I think Mexicans just came from Italians.
Say again?
Mexicans just came from Italians.
Like they evolved from Italians.
How so?
What's the Mexican flag?
Red, white, and green.
But it's also got an eagle.
What's the Italian snake?
Red, white, and green.
Same flag, bro.
Damn, Mark.
Hey, Mark, bro.
It's really cool saying young you.
Hey, Mark, bro.
Listen.
And I did it again.
I can't even help you.
Don't poison at me.
Come on, son.
You trying to kill me?
You can kill you.
You're getting a boner off of that shit.
Do you think Hiller ever did that?
You ever like stood a few feet away from his bitch?
He was like, I'm going to have it.
Off to the right.
Bro, you probably whisper in her ear, dude.
Wait, why?
I have a huge cart.
That's what he said.
Oh, man.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Let's listen.
We got to call Mike Feeney.
Okay.
Can I piss and then we call him?
Yes, we'll set it up.
All right, guys.
We're going to pay some bills real quick.
Actually, this is quite important because right now, times are tough for people.
You got to save some money.
It's, you know, you got to find every possible way you can save money.
And we love companies that help you do that.
This company helped me save some money.
Policy genius.
I don't know if you've heard of them, but they will basically shop and get you the best insurance rates for home insurance.
You can mix and match with auto insurance, and they can save you a thousand bucks a year.
I think the average person is saving $1,127 a year by doing it.
And they're doing all the work.
You literally just go to policygenius.com.
You type in all the things that pertain to the thing you want insurance for, and they will mix and match insurance policies.
And they'll literally give you, they'll tell you how much these insurance policies are.
If they're better, you just go with the new insurance policy.
Simple as that.
It's really not that hard.
You have nothing to lose.
You just go out there and see if you could save some money.
And if you can, save it.
Easy.
It doesn't cost you anything.
If you don't want to save money, if you don't want free money, then don't do it.
But if you like free money, you might as well just go to policygenius.com.
Super easy.
That's simply.
PolicyGenius Hopkins.
You answer a few quick questions about yourself and your property.
PolicyGenius will compare your policy against options from the top insurers to make sure you're getting the right home insurance.
Now, if you already have the right home insurance, you're good.
You don't need to change anything up.
But if you could save a thousand bucks a year, wouldn't you?
Might as well look.
You got to handle shit.
This is your time.
It's a quarantine.
You're trying to save money, fellas.
Go take care of business.
Take that $1,000, bro.
We're going to all need this $1,000, man.
Anyway, so if you'd like to put a little cash back in your pocket right now, see how much you can save by reshopping your home insurance rates at policygenius.com.
Burning Anger During Quarantine00:12:43
Go do that.
Let's get back to the show.
Okay, everybody.
We took a little break.
Now we're back with a dear friend.
Well, I don't know if you're a dear friend.
I'm not going to lie.
You're not a dear friend, but you're someone I like a lot.
Okay.
You're a friend.
But we're not hanging all the time.
You know what I'm saying?
We're not just going out to get pizza or something.
I'm just trying to hang out with a lot of people, but yeah.
I have a small is that.
You know?
But we're here with a second-tier friend.
That's a second-tier.
We got a nice second-tier friend.
We have a second-tier friend.
Okay.
But all-star replacement.
All-star replacement.
Very funny, comic.
A guy that I enjoy being around.
When we're ever at the clubs together, you know, and we're talking, I like you.
I like this, this, I like this pristine.
Well, now it's not very pristine.
Now you have this like weird facial hair thing going on.
But generally speaking, you have this pristine look.
But I know that there inside of you is this rage burning, okay?
This anger, this Long Island rage.
Absolute Irish Catholic rage is burning under the surface.
I feel like you are Mike Feeny is like one second away from a road rage incident at any point in time.
That's the energy that you walk around with.
100%.
You're smiling, but at any point in time, you would love to just take somebody's face and smash it into something hard.
That's this is Mike Feeney making his first appearance.
Maybe not his first appearance.
No, him and Cannon were on one week.
His first solo appearance on a Flagrant 2 podcast.
Mike, how are you, my friend?
Good, pal.
Just trying to stay alive during this.
Dude, we go back so long.
I remember when you used to be a flat brim hat guy, you know?
That's how far you've gone.
That is true.
I used to do a Yankee fitted.
Yeah.
I used to have a Yankee fitted.
Those were the old, what was it called?
Lantern Days.
Yeah, Village Lantern Days.
Yeah, I used to say Feeney was your little brother.
He just looked like that's why I had to stop wearing hats.
People like you wouldn't stop saying that.
So, Feeney, how has your quarantine been going?
You've been with your wife.
Are you guys still together?
You beating her up?
What's going on with that?
I got to say, I don't know what my wife's Italian instincts have kicked in during this quarantine, and she's leveled up her cooking game to a place that I can't possibly describe.
Really?
She used to be able to cook.
Now she's like a fucking chef.
She's like doing Instapots.
She's doing, she's like making little, she just made hummus for the first time and murdered it.
She's making all different types of cuisines.
I see that you're putting up a lot of food pictures too.
So there's something right now about the food game is being stepped up.
They're going back to this.
There's this writer said that animals are returning back to their natural habitats.
And I think her name is Melissa Chen, but women are going back in the kitchen.
It's fucking great.
We got dolphins in the canals in Venice and women in the kitchen.
It couldn't be better.
Now, Feeney, what is this anger about?
I want to get to the source of this anger.
Why are you so angry?
What's this fucking anger about?
I don't, man.
Doesn't things just piss you off?
Everything pisses me off, especially driving.
Like, you nailed it really with the driving, man.
I don't know what it is.
But there's a deeper issue, Feeney.
Amazing.
It's not driving.
Something else is going on.
It's because everybody else is an idiot but me.
That's why, especially driving, you know?
But yeah, that's where it's easily on display.
Now, you have this special that you've been putting out.
You've been putting out content.
You've started to blow up on TikTok.
I was very proud of you for that.
I thought it was awesome.
He's doing it on TikTok.
Because Feeney's one of these guys that, like, everybody, you're one of the guys that will actually do it, right?
Like, a lot of people ask me for advice and then I'll give them advice and then they won't do anything.
But you're one of the guys who will ask me for advice and you'll actually go there and do it.
And I remember it was like maybe over a year ago.
You were like, what should I do?
I was like, just put out content for a year and then talk to me in a year.
And then I think you said within like on the 11th month and two weeks left, I'm sure you were burning with rage.
You're like, I can't wait to tell him nothing happened.
I can't wait to tell him I did it for a whole fucking year and nothing happened.
And then all of a sudden, you explode on TikTok.
Yeah, I was marking the days on the calendar to tell you you were wrong, dude.
You had that guitar ready to smash over my head.
Jeff Jarrett style, bro.
Yeah, just what happens?
So what happens?
You're hanging out.
Tell me when the video goes viral.
What's the experience like?
You finally know, no comedians are really on TikTok, I guess, because everyone thinks it's for 12-year-old Asian girls, and it might be, but there's also 600 million people on the app, and it was more downloaded than Instagram last year.
So I just started putting one-minute clips on there.
And then the one that blew up, the one that blew up is the joke I have called The Solution to Gun Control, which, if you remember, came about Inside Jokes, which was three of us.
There you go.
So Agila's Nash back in the day, Rest in Peace.
Nosh, not Gila.
Gila's still alive.
But yes, of course.
I just broke that news.
Oh, Andrew, you haven't.
Corona got a good one.
Yeah.
That's right.
You did that bit.
It was a great bit.
It was for Inside Jokes.
And you post it on TikTok and it fucking goes viral.
It blew up.
Yeah, man.
I think it had over 5 million views.
Crazy.
The rest was history, man.
I woke up to my phone with all these, you know, like just jumped up 40,000 followers in one night.
And now we're sitting pretty at like 250.
So, yeah.
And the videos are catching, which is great.
But yeah, I think I did it the right way by putting out the clips, you know, as recommended by you, one by one, and then putting the whole special out because since then, the fan base has grown.
So now you have a special that's out, Rage Against the Routine.
Yes.
And completely free.
And completely free.
It's available on YouTube.
Everybody can go watch it.
Make sure you go check out Mike Feeney, Rage Against the Routine.
Now, did you include in your marketing for the special how none of the networks wanted you?
How nobody wanted you.
Okay, this is something I got to clarify, okay?
Oh boy.
I want comics to put their stuff out on YouTube, and I want them to do everything that I've done that's worked for me.
It's for all you guys to do it 100%.
But, and you haven't done this, but like there are comics out there who have kind of taken a narrative in the wrong way.
I've never promoted a special as nobody wanted this because that doesn't make sense.
Hey, I want you to watch something.
Why should I watch it?
Because nobody wanted it ever.
Nobody has ever, hey, you know all those other networks you like?
They didn't like it.
So you should watch it.
Hey, I'm going to show every network that said no because they thought it was bad, even though you like all the stuff they usually post.
And then you should watch my shit.
That's not how we watch stuff.
You basically gave yourself a zero star rating on Yelp and then asked people to go to your restaurant.
100%.
That's never how I promoted a special.
What I always did was I put out a project that had a theme, right?
Like the 441, it was that this is a night in New York.
The views for the cis was this is a pushback against all the PC shit that I saw in like, you know, normal corporate or whatever comedy, et cetera, all the networks.
But I never was like, the reason you should watch this because nobody wants it.
But I think comics have seen my journey and they're like, oh, the way you get people to support you is you say that nobody wanted your shit and then they get behind you.
That's not how it works.
You're just saying that your special sucks.
I think they're trying to do that us versus them mentality, but yeah, they're really overplaying the hand.
But you create us versus them in a different way.
You can galvanize people not by the networks not supporting them because people can't relate to that.
The average person that just has an accounting job isn't going, yeah, you know, Amazon passed on me too.
Right?
There's nothing.
It just makes no sense.
So I just.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why for me, like even talking to you right now, like I want people to understand your rage so that when we get to the point of your special where we're like, yo, you got to check out Feeney's special is called Rage Against the Routine.
Then they get a sense of who you are as a person and they're like, oh, shit, I get pissed off about mundane shit too.
Maybe I want to fuck with this special as well.
Dude, here's a person.
100% special.
Is it like Seinfeld with emotion?
Like I'll mess on just say Seinfeld.
Let me guess.
You go on stage, like, whoa, I'm on stage.
Whoa.
Whoa, I came into the same stage and I always come into it.
I'm actually crazy about that.
Oh, man.
How trash is Seinfeld, right?
I love Seinfeld.
I love Seinfeld.
He's a monolith, but fucking that last special I just watched, man.
Not great.
Not great.
I need to see it.
I haven't seen it.
We don't trash comedian specials on this show, okay?
I didn't trash this.
You just trash the human being.
We just trash the human beings.
Yeah, I got you.
All right.
I meant how trash is the show, Seinfeld.
Oh, no.
Fuck that, dude.
That show's great.
Do you like that show?
Everybody likes it.
Listen, do you guys think that's what I'm saying?
You know that.
You know, the only thing more basic.
We eat specials without something to drink.
No, the only thing that's more basic, bitch, than fucking liking Seinfeld is trying to be the contrarian.
I don't like Seinfeld.
Oh, shit.
That's that shit.
He made that point with a pen in his hand.
That's how you know it's real.
First of all, no one says they don't like Seinfeld.
You do.
I'm the only one.
You're not the only one.
I'm the only one that says they don't like Seinfeld.
Name another person that says it.
Mad people say.
Name one.
My brother don't like it.
He's smart.
Everybody who likes friends.
Think about it.
Nobody says they don't like Seinfeld because everybody wants Seinfeld to give them some shit.
I don't give a fuck what Seinfeld gives me.
The show stinks.
The show is bad.
It's objectively bad comedy.
It is objectively.
It is.
It is objectively bad.
Lane doesn't have one female friend.
Fuck out of here.
I don't know if she does.
But that's where female ones that she lives with, her roommates.
She does have a female roommate.
She's got female roommates.
She's got a female roommate, yeah.
Maybe the most realistic thing of the show.
Maybe the most realistic thing of the show.
Might be.
I just can't buy it, dude.
It doesn't make any sense.
I don't relate to it in any way.
And I grew up in Manhattan.
These are my people.
Yeah.
These are my people.
And I'm telling you, it's fake.
Like, what if Italians, what if Italians are?
Nobody watches Seinfeld for the reality.
Say again?
You won't watch Seinfeld for the reality.
You're not like, yo, it's such a realistic depiction of the city.
Hold on.
I thought it's like the wire.
I thought his whole comedy is, look how relatable this is.
Everybody goes through this.
So comedy is the reality.
It's in the small things that we all go through, but the show itself as a whole isn't supposed to be some non-fiction fucking display of news.
Yo, you guys are right.
It's comedic genius.
Like, isn't it crazy how I was trying to park here and now you're trying to park here?
How are we going to work out this dispute?
That sounds pretty brilliant.
Where's that sound like fire?
Where's Alec Baldwin when you need him, right?
We need a lot of family.
I don't see how that relates, but yo, the rest of it sounded fire.
If you replace Alec Baldwin with Kramer, ball games.
Yeah.
This show, dude.
Big manholla ball games.
Should sound like a man who's seen every episode of this show.
I think by proxy, I've seen every episode, and I'm just like, eh.
Just like, do you really watch it and you go, oh, you, you laugh out loud?
Like, you laugh like you would laugh at the office.
You laugh out loud?
I laugh out loud.
You laugh out loud.
I laugh out loud.
Mainly at Kramer.
Yo, Kramer, Kramer, great, man.
I don't care how rich.
George Kissin is fucking great.
George is one of the best characters of all time.
Why?
Why?
Because he's mad.
He gets fucked over every single time.
His life is miserable.
It's great.
R.I.P. to Jerry Stiller, by the way.
You're shitting on Seinfeld on quite the day.
What happened to Jerry Stiller?
See, he could have died yesterday.
From Corona?
Nah, he fucked him.
If he was supposed to go, he's supposed to go.
Isn't he old?
How old is he?
I can't argue in 92 is 96.
He's 92 and we're going to feel bad about this.
But he's still funny, though.
He was still funny, yo.
Funny till the end of the day.
He has so many funny lines.
Jerry Stiller Seinfeld Best Lines00:02:51
I'm going to be honest with you.
Best part of the show.
Jerry Stiller.
Best part of the show.
I'm going to make that argument.
Might have been the only redeeming part of Seinfeld is Jerry Stiller and his wife.
Their relationship.
Only redeeming part.
Hilarious.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fucking great, man.
All right.
What are more things you like that suck?
Can I tell you this thing, though?
About, all right, well.
Were you going to do a bit like this is a late night show?
That was the whole thing.
We got a Byron Allen.
We got to like start.
We got to set you up randomly.
So, Mike Feeney, you've been brushing your teeth with an electronic toothbrush.
What do you say to say that?
You ever notice about Sonic Hare?
How it's not.
No, man, but it's a crazy thing because, you know, I've been talking to my mom who's in Florida, so I haven't seen her.
I was supposed to be down there this weekend, right?
But I haven't seen her since the thing.
And Florida is like crazy.
They just, there's no restrictions.
They're letting everybody do whatever the fuck they want.
Yeah.
And my mom is like classic, like, who gives a shit?
If they say it's good, we're good to go.
You know, stop coming, right?
Yup.
And my mom very little watches the news, so she really doesn't have any grasp of what's going on here.
And I thought, I think my mom's fully Florida now, dude.
She's losing it.
Talk to me because I like this.
Okay.
I'll tell you, she calls me the other night at like 10 o'clock at night, and she goes, she saw this article about a woman that was in a coma.
I don't know if you heard about this.
She was in a coma, and one of the orderlies raped her and got her pregnant.
And the woman had a baby while in a coma.
Best way to feel it?
And had no idea, right?
So I feel like the best way to have the baby.
I mean, what is an epidural?
Epidural is a body coma, right?
You just don't feel anything, right?
Isn't that what an epidural essentially does?
I guess so.
I mean, if you wanted a baby, hypothetical.
Dude, this is where I'm going.
This is how I'm going.
My mom goes, first, she's like, did you hear the story?
I go, yeah.
I go, that's horrifying.
It's such a horrifying thing.
And she goes, right.
But here's what I'm thinking.
She goes, listen, she goes, there's so many unfortunate women that can have babies right there.
Why can't we make coma surrogates and just sign it up like an organ donor?
If I'm in a coma, I'll have your baby.
You can just put it.
It's not a bad idea.
It's not the worst idea.
What's the deal with vegetables having kids?
I mean, let's use them for something or pull the plug.
We just got to save some money on electricity in here.
Somebody say vegetable?
Does somebody say vegetable?
Jarrett, you have some vegetables?
Do you need me to get you guys some vegetables?
CBD Remedies For Sharp Brains00:03:20
So that's every episode of Seinfeld, right?
I like some breadflows.
That is literally no episode ever.
That's every Seinfeld episode, right?
Let's do a Seinfeld.
Let's do a Seinfeld episode right now, right?
Let's do a Seinfeld episode right now.
Okay.
Here's Seinfeld episode.
Seinfeld episode.
Walks out, Stubbs still on the threshold.
Hey.
Why do we still have thresholds?
I mean, it's not like if you get married, you actually carry your woman, your wife, over a threshold.
I'm interested.
What's the point of the threshold?
Where's this going?
I don't know what a threshold is for.
That's kind of stupid.
We shouldn't have thresholds.
Storyline B, right?
The joke fell apart.
No, no, no, no, it's got to come back.
It's a comeback.
It's a combat.
It'll come back.
It's leaving out a lot of funny, though.
Seinfeld would do 15 minutes of funny on the threshold.
But how would it be funny?
You had something with the wife carrying.
With the wife carry, it was going to be good.
And that's the genius of Seinfeld as he keeps going.
But you know what?
I was going to come back with I was going to come back with Kramer walks in and trips over the fucking threshold.
And then it's like, oh, the threshold has come full circle.
This is an episode of Seinfeld.
See how unfunny it is?
You're the haters.
You left out a lot.
But that's what it is.
If you break down an episode of Seinfeld, make it funny.
It's funny.
How?
Because it's funny.
All right.
All right, guys.
Final break.
This don't even feel like a break.
I got to shout out the homies, man.
Raddix.
Shout out to Raddix Remedies.
You already know Raddix Remedies.
This is the CBD supplier for the Flagrant 2 asshole army.
Not only do they have them roll-up joints that smoke like a joint, feel like a joint.
Shit, they might even get you high like a joint.
They also got the rubs.
They have the sprays.
They got the nighttime gummies with the melatonin.
Be very careful with those.
But those have been putting Akash's ass to sleep.
Fuck God.
But real talk.
If you are taking any form of CBD, make sure these guys provide you with the CBD.
They're real legit dudes.
It's a great company.
It's outside of Austin.
People have gone.
Asshole Army members have gone to the store in Austin.
They've hooked them up right there on the spot.
They support what we do.
They support the flagrancy.
So we're supporting them.
They've been putting out these bottles of hand sanitizer because they were able to make that similar to the CBD machine, donating a bottle for every bottle purchase to people in need.
I think they're doing the right thing with their company at a time like this.
So we try to support them as much as we possibly can.
So light one up for our boys at Raddix Remedy, man.