Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect pandemic paranoia, debating mask efficacy while Akash dons hazmat gear due to a suspected girlfriend infection. They critique Neil deGrasse Tyson's relevance, analyze Drake's photoshopped Instagram photos with Sophie Brissoux regarding racial identity, and question journalistic ethics through Joe Exotic's Tiger King controversy and Kevin Carter's Pulitzer image. Ultimately, the episode suggests that economic hardship may force society to value domestic skills over superficial standards, challenging current media narratives on capitalism and human connection. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Andrew Predicts Corona00:14:23
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flavor 2.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm Andrew Schultz and we have a very special guest here.
We have Flagrant's first corona victim, Akash Singh.
I knew you were going to get it, bro.
I did call it.
Did I not call it?
You called it.
Okay.
You called it, but I don't know if I got it.
If you guys are listening, you're not getting the full experience.
I just want to say Akash is dressed as a fucking diaper right now.
He is in full hazmat gear, winter gloves, and a, what is it called?
Face mask.
Face mask.
And this is all off of suspicion.
I look like Breaking Bad.
Yes.
The worst episode.
Remember the fly episode?
Yeah.
Ozark had a fly episode.
I'm watching Ozark this season.
If you watch Ozark today.
Hey, season and a half in, I quit.
I hear you.
I understand.
It is Breaking Bad.
Yeah.
Only with money laundering instead of meth.
And I find it...
But don't tell me anything about it.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
Okay, go.
You find it.
Yeah, I find it somehow more boring, less likable.
Yeah.
Like, there's nobody redeeming yet for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, okay.
Fair enough.
I hear you.
Yeah, you really don't like those people.
Yeah, Breaking Bad, Walt, like, had moments where he grew on you.
Jesse had moments where you're like, this guy's funny, man.
Yeah.
I don't find that with Ozark.
Yeah.
You're like, I've noticed, like, easily swayed by bad parenting.
Do you see my nose just make it out of the mask?
That was impressive, dude.
So if you're not, if you're, if you're watching video right now, you can obviously see what happens.
If you're just listening to the podcast, I would suggest at some point in time you go check out the video because we're in full gear.
Marky Gagnon is on the ones and twos.
I look like a Ghostbusters logo.
Yeah, like I'm climbing through a red circle.
Yeah, dude.
It is serious.
Now, this is why we're taking these precautions.
You said your girl might have it.
So my girl, Saturday night, has a body ache and a sore throat.
No fever.
Yeah.
I wonder what that's from.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Hot Friday night.
Saturday going to be a little rough.
Right, Akash?
She must not know the work I put in.
She really fucked up.
She feels great at it.
Oh, she does?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, really?
No.
It's done.
Finally.
Really?
I can stop saying no.
But no, and then I'm not thinking much of it.
And then Sunday, our hot water's messed up.
Super comes over and he's like, hey, you guys are going to get a notice soon.
Someone in the apartment has Corona.
And so then I'm like, oh, fuck.
I text you guys.
Hey, here's the deal.
I feel like I should do.
I talked to my uncle.
He's a doctor.
He's like, I don't think you got it.
But just do social distancing to be safe.
Yeah.
So I texted you guys and now I'm here and we're just taking as many precautions as we can.
Now, you also have a second mask that you refuse to wear, which is bothering me.
I don't refuse to wear it.
If you start coughing, I'll put on the real one.
Okay.
I have the N95 mask right here.
Yeah.
On the bicep.
Yeah.
Andrew stole an N95 mask.
I didn't steal it.
Eden left it here, and he never retrieved it.
You know, so I figured not just leave it on the ground.
I might as well take it.
If my girl needs to get groceries or something like that, I give her the mask.
I've just forgot to bring it back to my girl.
Yo, life is good out here, baby.
You know what I mean?
Good money over here.
I feel fine.
Girl feels fine.
No fever, no nothing.
But I just want to be safe.
No, that's good.
And I'm glad you're safe, and I'm glad you're well.
I just want to point out I knew you were going to be the one to get it first.
But we don't know that I got it yet.
You got it.
I knew you had it a week ago.
I knew you had it last week when I fucking looked at you in your COVID eyes.
That was two weeks ago.
I would be, I'd be past it.
Can I say something really important right now?
When all I can see is your eyes, you won't pretty much fuck us out.
I'm not going to lie.
You pretty, bro.
Yo, you pretty out here.
Yeah, look, give him that single.
Let him look in the mind like a little cobra.
Damn, I just want to whistle you out of a basket.
Son.
Gosh.
You think I can whistle myself out of a basket?
I hope not.
Dog, but for real, if you sneeze or cough, I'll put on the COVID mask.
The Chinese virus mask, the Chinese flu mask.
I mean, I think you should put it on anyway.
Why are you calling it COVID?
Why are you doing that cuck shit?
It's just less syllables.
That's all.
Chinese virus.
I got no problem.
Chinese.
Kung flu.
Kung flu.
Kung fu kung flu.
Call it kung flu.
COVID mask tufa.
Kung flu mask.
Put on the kung flu mask.
Yes.
Put on the China mask.
Put on be Chinese.
Son, when I put this mask on and started driving, this is the most like the other Asians I've ever felt in my life.
I say, yo.
Do you refer to them as other Asians?
I mean.
Because we refer to you guys as other Asians.
Yeah, I know, but I can't do that.
I can't call them the real Asians.
Son, if I laugh, my nose just pops right out the fucking mouth.
These weren't built for me, bro.
They weren't built for all this Schultz dog.
That's not built for Jews.
I'm not Jewish-ish.
Yeah, but the nose.
You know what I mean?
Someone had that joke.
What is it?
I'm Jewish.
Who had that shit?
Son, your mask is strong.
Son is struggling right now.
Is this a baby mask?
No.
Who's this mask for, bro?
Regular adult noses.
You think?
Or maybe it's for Asians because their faces are.
You got no.
I keep looking away.
I keep looking up or looking away when I laugh because I'm on a breath too hard.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you're getting all over the fucking foam part of the mic.
We're going to have to get a new foam thing.
Just light that bitch.
Yeah, we will.
I saw it.
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
You got six feet between everybody.
We're doing all right over there.
No, no, no.
We're taking the necessary precautions.
Akash hasn't touched anything since he's been in the studio.
Let me try to cover that water so you don't cough no shit in the water.
I don't know what that did.
That was the stupidest thing I've ever done.
Guys, if you thought that I was stupid last podcast.
Guys, if you thought that I said something slightly erritt on it last podcast, I want you to just watch what I did to protect the water from Akash spitting something in it.
Can I say this?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, was that dumb?
What'd I do, bro?
Just say what I did.
I came up with that.
He's got a big water jug and it's got like the tip of the spout that you pour the jug out of.
He kept the water exactly where it was, but just spun the little tip away from me.
As if Akash could only cough on the tip of the jug.
It wouldn't just go in swish.
Oh, man.
You've been thinking just a tip for a long time, huh?
Bro, I never just a tipped.
Oh, or positive ever?
I said, just the bottom.
So let me just put the bottom of it in there, you know?
Oh, God.
So, Drake gave birth to Sam Roberts.
You saw that?
Oh, my God.
Son, Sam Roberts' wife got to call up Drake.
They got to call up that bitch, Sophie Brissux, or whatever her name is.
And they got to have a conversation because that baby look exactly like Sam Roberts, dog.
Don't that baby always look surprised like it's the first time he's seen Drake?
I think he's surprised like I'm yours.
He don't look like Drake at all, bro.
He don't look like the mom either.
He looks like Drake's mom a little bit.
I don't know what Drake's mom looks like.
I saw a picture on Twitter that had the side-by-side or whatever.
Two pictures.
And then you might see something.
Yeah.
But apparently he took two paternity tests.
Yeah, because one came back or like it was like tainted on the way back or some shit.
Yeah, but then I think he took two more is what I thought.
He really didn't want that baby.
But he wanted nothing to do.
How you explain that to your kid?
Even the way he holds him.
Yo, the way you hold him in that picture, he's looking at him like, I can't believe this shit.
We got to deal with this fucking thing.
What's that?
Crohn only kills old people?
Ah, motherfucker.
Fuck, god damn it.
God damn it.
Damn it.
You saw my nose pop out again?
Somebody make a compilation of all the times my nose fucking creeps out of this.
My nose got a mind of its own.
It's like, what y'all talking about?
Hey, hey, what y'all?
Hey, y'all have fun out here.
Your nose is trying to get Corona, yo.
It really is.
It just wants to be used for something.
Do you think that the corona would just give up as it was going, like as it was traveling up my nose, it would just get tired, bro?
Be like Sisyphus pushing a rock up the hill.
Your nose got a room like an apartment in Middle America.
That shit is just...
It's a lot of space.
Yo, if my nose looks at other people's noses, like, that's where you live?
You can see your kitchen from your bedroom.
Oh, a little studio apartment having noses, bro.
You need some room, dog.
Hey, watch this.
Bro.
You see me suck all the air out the room?
All the Rona.
Damn.
I just lost my breath.
You got it, Mark.
Mark, you got over there, Doc.
A little light-headed?
Y'all a little light-headed?
My inhaler.
Hey, Doug.
Hey, Doug.
All right, so we have the Drake son shit.
Do you think he's a little upset that his son didn't look more black?
I don't think there's anything about Drake that likes looking black unless he needs to sell records.
Well, that's the thing.
My concern is having this, like, violently white baby.
Like, the baby is so white, right?
Like, the eyes are blue.
The hair is blonde.
The skin is, you know, like, T.I. has one of those kids who's like really pale.
Yeah.
You know?
He's like that white.
Right.
Right.
And I wonder if that reminds people, hey, Drake isn't full black.
He's half white, half black.
So, like, when you see him holding that kid and he says the N-word, are you like, I honestly don't think so because he's Canadian.
So I feel like the whole time he's been acting American black, people have very rarely been like, oh, no, hell, you're Canadian.
That's a very different.
That's a very different.
Maybe earlier.
You know what I would agree with you?
How about this theory?
Maybe earlier in his career, he was acting American black.
And then later in his career, he's been acting more Canadian black, which is like super Caribbean influence, English, black influence, that kind of stuff.
And now he's reminded.
He's neither.
And now what?
Now we get reminded he's neither.
Well, now we get reminded that he's American black and that he fucked a white girl and had a kid with it.
Oh, it's true.
So every, listen, he switches it up on you at all points in time.
You know, talking about fucking white girls.
Alex is not sick with Corona, okay?
I know a lot of you guys have been asking where Alex is.
Alex not sick with Corona.
Alex has been back at the crib mining all of our stand-up videos over the last year, trying to get some more clips because we want to keep the clips going out.
So I just wanted to give an update on that.
And I spoke to Al and he wanted you guys to know because a lot of you guys were worried that he was sick with the Rona.
But he'll be back next week, so you can go check for him next week.
And we'll be having some stand-up clips coming at that ass.
So that's the so that is that.
Nose coming out again, yo.
You've got a COVID mask.
The COVID mask is actually smaller.
This is why everybody has Corona.
Why don't they just make the masks you guys have are great?
They're just massive.
Like fat girl underwear.
Yeah, but I think if I cough, it can still go through.
I mean, I think it might stop mine, but apparently it can, like, if it's in the air particles, I don't know.
This is what I read.
So nobody knows nothing about this.
No, no, this is what I read.
I read.
Okay.
And I'm not going to use the exact terminology because I don't know what it is.
I'm going to make it dumb.
Okay.
So the germ, the corona germ, let's say it's a marble, right?
This mask, the 95 masks, okay?
The holes in the mask, and there are holes in all of our masks because if there weren't, then we couldn't breathe through it.
But the holes in this mask can fit three germ marbles are big enough for three germ marbles to pass through.
Okay.
But the corona is one marble size.
So technically it could pass through that, right?
Problem is a virus is never just one marble.
It's like a thousand marbles trying to pass through.
So the idea is it gets to infect you.
No, not even it's not enough to infect it if there's so many that will just bounce it and won't be able to get through.
Okay.
That's the idea with it.
Right?
I have a question.
Yes.
Do you think that you've been exposed to one corona germ so far?
No.
Not one.
I can tell.
I knew Akash had it a week ago.
Two weeks ago, he said I had it.
I should be good.
Before you had it, I knew you had it.
I avoid people.
If I see that you have a coronal look, I avoid them.
I can easily avoid them.
One germ?
I know.
I know.
He lives in Manhattan.
There's no way he got no germs.
No, no.
We thought about quarantining the whole thing.
Say again?
We thought about quarantining all of Manhattan.
Trump was ready to do that.
Really?
Yeah, I mean, he threatened to.
Well, all of New York and New Jersey, to be honest.
But you in Manhattan.
I don't think, I don't think, listen, there's two ways I think about this.
One, we all got it.
Here's my conspiracy theory.
I think we all got it.
This is my conspiracy theory.
We all got it.
We can't test to know if we have it or not.
The only people that can test are the people that have the worst scenario.
So the hysteria comes from that.
Yeah.
Right?
The only people tested are the people that have the worst version of the virus or it most affects them because of pre-existing conditions or their age.
So we think this virus is, you get it and you fucking die.
What happened?
My nose creeping out.
You cannot talk for more than 10 seconds.
Without the nose creeping out?
Without the nose coming off.
Son, should I just do that?
Is that better?
Should I just go like that?
That might be better.
There we go.
I definitely take it so seriously.
I should.
I think I figured it out.
Okay.
That's how you do it.
I just can't keep my chin or my nose in.
It's one or the other.
I mean, you're not the first Jewish doctor.
Say again.
What do Jewish doctors do?
Guys.
They wear these.
Oh, do they?
Yeah.
This is the hospital mask.
Ah.
All right.
I don't know what this is.
This is the mask for hospital people, and I think people who have Rona.
Like, if you go outside, you can.
Can you show me what I look like on the screen real quick, Mark?
With it like this?
Because, I mean, this is absolutely absurd.
No, I don't think as crazy as you think.
Oh, no, this is good.
You look like Shredder.
I was about to say it.
Jewish Doctors and Abortion00:04:24
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, great fucking call.
Okay.
So back to what I was saying.
So basically, I think that we are under the impression it's way worse because everybody that does have it has the worst case symptoms.
And we're not testing the average people who have it and they're like, yeah, I just had a cough.
That's not saying that there aren't people out there that are dying.
Clearly, there are tons of people out there dying.
I just have this feeling that I have yet to see a healthy person.
I know.
I've yet to see a healthy person die from this.
Everybody that died is either old or has a heart condition or lung condition, et cetera.
No, I mean, apparently a lot of hospitalizations in Texas, I think I heard that there's more 18 to 40 year olds in the hospital than there are.
I bet Texas has more unhealthy 18 to 40 year olds.
I mean, they're fat.
That's unhealthy.
Okay.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I really feel like there was this guy, there was this image going around in this guy.
He was this fucking jacked black dude, abs, everything like that.
And he was like, now I'm in the hospital.
I was on ICU.
I'm doing all these things.
It's fucking me up.
And I found out.
And then the image is made to look like he's this person in perfect health in AK Bay.
And then in the description, he goes, I found out I had an enlarged heart.
I'm like, yeah, okay.
If you got some shit, and being old is some shit.
Old is some shit.
Old will kill you.
If you have anything that could kill you, this is going to take you out.
I just don't know if the average healthy person is going to be fucked up by it.
I was about to tell you how stupid you look, and then I remembered I'm wearing a hazmat suit and gloves and a mask.
And I was about to laugh at you.
Yo!
What?
Come on.
Don't you dare question my coughs.
I'm saying that maybe you got it from me now.
You put the mask on, yo.
You have it.
I'm taking the mask off.
I have to take a sip of coffee.
That's a New Yorker's priority.
You don't think you could drink it through the mask?
Say again?
You don't think you could drink one sip through the mask, bro?
Mark?
Mark, you're getting on my last nerve, Mark.
Mark, I'm about to have Akash spit saliva on you like an older brother.
Just dangle that Loogie right on top of you as we hold you down.
Yo.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
Here's the thing, guys.
This Corona shit has been exposing a lot of people who have already annoyed me.
Okay.
Everybody on social media who already annoyed you is taking it to the 10th power during Corona.
That's one of the worst things about Corona.
Outside of like killing people and global economic collapse, it takes everybody who's annoying on Twitter.
On Twitter, and it makes them 10 times more annoying.
Right.
That's the third most annoying thing.
Number one is global collapse.
Yep.
Number two is killing a lot of people.
Killing people.
Actually, that's probably number three.
Number two is Twitter.
You're annoying on Twitter.
Yep.
And then number three is killing people.
Because Twitter affects my life personally more.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Once somebody that we all know dies, then that will probably jump it up.
Then we'll, you know, the standards.
Exactly.
Like you ever been at the train station where like when the trains are coming, all of a sudden they're and then next stop Babylon.
Right?
That will happen if someone we know dies, right?
But right now, Twitter is incredibly annoying.
Like I don't follow Lena Dunham.
Why would anyone?
I don't know.
I just, I don't follow her.
Right.
Right?
But people follow her.
She's Carol Baskins of the Entertainment.
Oh, my God.
I want, this bitch is evil through and through.
Oh, my.
It's all on the face of good.
It's just.
Oh, my God.
Her and Taylor Swift, I don't buy any of it.
What are they doing during this time?
I mean, sucking on people's souls.
Probably every dead person that goes gets Corona.
They just inhale their soul, and that's how they die.
Do you think they want Corona badly so they can be part of the cause?
Like, remember Lena Dunham was like, every girl should have an abortion or something like that, right?
I wish I had an abortion.
She said that.
I wish I had an abortion.
Yeah.
Of all the things you could wish for.
I mean, it's unreal.
I bet she's praying for Corona.
Praying for it.
And why do you think she can't get Corona?
Because she has tits like Big Jay Ogerson?
Put on the fucking mask, yo.
You think I got it?
It's just scary.
Lena Dunham's Regrets00:03:05
Son, if I end up getting this shit before you... I will laugh my fucking ass off, yo.
Bro.
That would be bad.
People have been telling me maybe my immune system is so weak.
Yeah.
Alingon was texting me.
This might be like, this could only make me stronger at this point.
Like, this is my radioactive spider.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've had everything.
He's like, the corona is probably scary to you at this point.
Yeah.
Get in your immune system.
He's competing with all these other diseases and asthma.
And he's like, ah, I don't want to do all this.
Now, do you think that Alingon is just saying that so that you die and then there's one less Indian to compete for road dates with?
Do you think that's?
Do you think he's like, yeah, go on out there.
Corona can't affect you at all.
But knowing full well you have asthma and this shit could take you out specifically.
Do you think that's possible?
Do you think it's Indian on Indian competition?
No, no, no, because I, I mean, I'm going to help Alingon out, and he knows that.
Oh, you are?
I mean, however I can.
Yeah, that's my guy.
But hey, there's a couple others that he probably praying, get this shit because he needs.
you gonna help him how are you what are you gonna do well i want brownish to be like a thing right right almost like you're flagrant too i want brownish to become something you know what i mean how do you okay how do you think i'm gonna be homeless about a year and a half if i keep taking all his dates so i had to do something for the man you know what i mean okay um now can you can you like start by helping him have a personality Guys, the world's burning.
We might as well go for it.
That's a good point.
These are all jokes.
Alingon's a fucking hilarious comedian.
Go check him out.
I'm sure he's got sets on YouTube.
Yeah, no, he's got sets on YouTube.
He also doesn't have a personality.
I mean, he does have a personality, but it's all valid.
But we have to qualify how funny he is by making that joke.
That's another thing I think a lot of people don't realize.
We rarely make fun of unfunny people here.
Yes.
Because then it's mean.
Yes.
If you're unfunny, it's mean.
Right.
We'll talk shit about people, but comics, we're only making fun of the funny ones.
Or our friends.
Yeah.
So if we're making fun of someone on this, you should probably go check them out.
Yeah.
That being said, if you can find any shred of a personality in a Lingon Mitra.
He'd be thrilled and he wants to know where it is.
And you're like, yo, word?
Where?
Except he wouldn't say word with any kind of enthusiasm.
He'd be like, hmm, interesting.
Yes.
No, you do have a point.
Literally, if you make points, he just goes, so when he talks to Alexa.
That's got to be the most.
That's got to be two people just understanding each other, bro.
Like, that is perfect synergy.
He jerks off to her.
You ever seen that movie, her?
That's important for him.
That's what he needs, bro.
We used to talk to him.
We went on the road for like two weeks, and we started talking to him like he was Siri.
I'd be like, Elingon, what's the temperature outside?
A Lingon setting alarm for 6:38 a.m.
That was so fun.
We need to bring him on, but for no longer than five minutes.
But just so people know how, you know, how to see it.
Now, I will say, oh, the person that on Twitter annoys me the most.
Aliens on the Moon00:03:45
Yeah.
Is Neil deGrasse Tyson?
What's he doing now?
He tweeted something today.
First of all, he's just a fucking ba humbug, right?
Now, there are tons of ba humbugs on Twitter.
Twitter is a lot of ba humbugness, right?
Yeah.
But he's just a fucking everything.
It's like if everybody's excited about something, he's got to know.
He loves to pour water on it.
Yeah, it's like he is the intellectual version of the people who complain about Columbus Day.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know, like when everybody has Columbus Day, we got the day off.
We just want to Thanksgiving.
Or Thanksgiving.
I'm just trying to have fun.
Do you know what this took?
Like that, he is the science version.
Is he science woke?
He's kind of science woke.
You science woke piece of shit.
So Neil deGrasse Tyson tweets, we can put a man on the moon, but we can't cure coronavirus.
Well, what are you doing, Neil?
Get to Kirin.
Yeah, what a stupid ass thing to say from a scientist.
Wait for it.
No, wait.
Sorry.
Right now, we actually can't put anybody on the moon and haven't been able to for 45 years.
Who gives a fuck?
Okay.
What does that even mean?
Yeah, what does that even mean?
We got a rover on Mars.
Is that not good enough for you, Neil?
Yeah, and why do you think we can't put anybody on the moon?
We probably don't care.
We went to the moon.
It sucks.
It fucking sucks.
You don't go back to places that suck.
Yeah, what do we got to go back for?
Sometimes you go to a place.
I went to Egypt.
I went to Cairo.
Pyramids were great.
Cairo sucks.
You're not going back.
I'm not going back.
I might go to the pyramids again, but I'm not going back to Cairo for any time.
Okay?
You went to the moon way worse than Cairo and no pyramids within any proximity.
There's no reason to go back.
What are we going to get there?
I don't understand what the fuck he's talking about.
I get that you have this fascination with the stars and shit.
Hey, guess what, buddy?
There's nothing out there.
Yo.
There's nothing.
I know you dedicated your whole life to nothing.
Bruh, ain't nothing but light.
It's nothing out there.
Nothing.
It's literally nothing.
I mean, it's good that we keep NASA around so they can invent shit like duct tape and stuff that we use in our lives and the internet.
That's great.
But what they're searching for is nothing.
And I know that they're like, oh, but in galaxies far away, there's aliens.
Yeah, of course they're aliens.
We don't live long enough to get there.
They don't live long enough to get here.
We're never going to see each other.
So even if there are aliens, we're not talking.
It's nothing.
I do think there's aliens, but I think we're not going to.
Yeah, like you said, we're not going to find them.
There are aliens.
I think they could come here.
I don't think so.
I think we're not going to find them.
And if we do, okay, now we need some.
What is the closest galaxy again, Mark?
I don't know.
No, you were talking about yesterday.
You said 200,000 light years away?
Oh, yeah, 200 light years.
200 light years away is the closest solar system.
We know there's no aliens in our solar system.
The closest one is 200 light years away, right?
So that means you would need to live 200 light years just to get there, and then you die the second you get there.
You can't even report back your final.
Now, let me ask you this.
What is a light year?
Say again?
What is a light year?
That's how long it takes for light to travel around the world.
Take that, Galileo, you fucking maggot.
Defining a Light Year00:07:26
Oh, my nose came out.
Son, the German came out there.
His nose did a little hilt.
Yo, a lot of people were calling our science conversation stupid.
But only one person had an answer for me.
Son, we were right, son.
Everybody else is just like, these guys are so dumb.
And then they didn't say shit about anything.
Son, we were wrong about putting in air.
We were wrong about air.
We were right about sun.
You can capture sun.
That's what solar energy is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's literally what solar energy is.
It's capturing the power of the sun.
Now, we didn't capture in terms of like we were just harnessing the light in that one place, but we learned how to take the light and keep it.
Okay?
And then that light can then power a light.
Right.
Okay.
So we were right.
That's, you don't think that the first person that thought about solar power, that's exactly how their thinking was?
I don't know if it was exactly like that, but yeah.
Son.
Yeah, more LS.
100%.
He's like, yo, when it's light, it's dope.
Why can't it be light all the time?
Son, I look like a sperm.
Bro.
Straight up.
I know.
That's why I've been thirsty.
I was like, why is he thirsty?
Look at this guy.
Pretty ass eyes, yo.
Yo, how white is Neil deGrasse Tyson?
Why?
Who else gives a fuck about space that much?
Or their middle name.
That is the corniest shit in the world.
DeGrasse.
Bro, he might be Drake's dad.
Bro!
DeGrasse?
DeGrassy?
That's what I'm saying.
And he's corny enough.
And he's white.
He loves white shit.
Probably got a white wife.
What color is his wife?
White?
No, he's not married.
But he'd be out there me tooing.
Me too in whom?
Whites?
Who would snitch?
White girls, bro.
And I cannot fathom that black girls are dealing with some corny motherfucker like that.
Do you think black girls will find a corny ass dude like that attractive?
I can't imagine one.
Literally, he's Carlton manifested.
Yeah, he's growing up Carlton, bro.
The dorkiest character in the best show for everybody.
Carlton at least had a little charm without trying to.
Yeah, he'll cast dance.
He's just condescending.
That's all he.
He just comes on and he's condescending and he's done nothing.
Like I looked it up.
He's done nothing.
He hasn't published shit.
He's done nothing as a scientist.
I think we're just so excited that we could not be racist and be like, hey, look at black scientists.
I love that guy.
Do you don't think that's what the scientific community did?
They're like, hey, I'll give him this.
He's incredibly good at explaining complex shit in a simple way.
The biggest problem with a lot of these scientists is, and you've probably experienced this with like family members, yours, that are like doctors actually doing something with their life.
Yeah, I know.
I heard it.
I heard it.
You had to look at me to make sure it hurt my feelings.
Okay?
Because it did.
Okay?
It makes you feel better.
You look like a doctor right now.
You've been waiting for this your whole life.
Doug, do any of your uncles or aunts have the ability to fit my nose in this fucking face mask?
Jesus, I can't even get excited because it comes out.
I need a mask I can get excited in.
Okay, what were we saying?
Neil degraded.
He's done nothing.
The scientific community propped him up because he's black.
Not because he's black.
He explains difficult shit.
And this is what I was saying about your family members.
I'm sure you have a family member that's a doctor that is really good at explaining complex science shit and then one that's not.
Yes.
Right?
And you probably go to the one that's really good.
100%.
I give him credit in this.
He is very good at simplifying tricky science shit.
Because, and I've watched some of these guys in Rogan.
Some guys are really good at it and some guys just aren't.
They just speak way above your head and they're using terms that you don't fucking know about.
And you're like, you can't use a more complex term to explain something than the thing you're explaining.
Right.
Right?
He's very good at that.
And he's black.
Yeah.
Which helps.
It works.
Yeah.
He's Jason Williams.
What Jason Williams was to basketball.
Remember Jason Williams?
Fuck white.
White chocolate.
He's chocolate chocolate.
Neil degrass size is chocolate chocolate.
Now, Jason Williams was undeniably one of the best passers in the history of the game.
An incredibly exciting player.
Teammates love to play with him.
And he was incredibly engaging to watch.
And he was also white.
There were guys that were black that were passing the ball behind their back.
He's not the first person to do it.
Earl of Pearl Monroe was doing that shit.
Yeah.
Right?
So it's like tons of people have been doing it, but he did it.
He was the most different, meaning he was this white player who did not play traditionally in a white game.
Granted, Pistol Pete did all that kind of stuff and was white, but you understand what I'm trying to say.
But since Pence Pistol, you didn't have anybody like that.
Nothing like that.
That was white.
Yeah.
Right?
So.
Bobby Hurley, John Stockton, a bunch of fundamental ass guys running screen and rolls.
And then here goes Jason Williams playing this exciting brand of basketball that we'd normally associated with black people.
And he looks the exact opposite of those black people.
Boom.
So you're just like, holy fuck, this is the guy.
Eminem.
Eminem.
Now, Eminem, again, everybody is going to do a little something extra.
They're going to be really good at what they do or tap into a feeling that black rappers couldn't tap into for white people.
You know, MM.
And he brought up like the intelligence of Eminem.
Like, hi, kids, do you like violence?
That's the first line to his first single.
That's Marketing 101.
Very smart guy.
I mean, think about that first line.
If you're a young kid, angsty kid that wants to rebel, you know, living in America in wonderful times of luxury, right?
You're bored.
And then some white rapper guy comes out and goes, Hi, kids.
Do you like violence?
Yeah.
You're like, I want to listen to everything else this guy has to say.
And he's a white dude talking about violent shit, but he's doing it in a medium that was normally black people talking about violent shit.
His is different violent shit, but hey, look, this is different.
And he's good.
Look at that.
And let's be honest.
Cool and blackness go together.
I think they really do.
Cool and blackness, they have, there is synergy, right?
Black culture often defines cool.
Yes.
Right?
Like when white people were wearing fucking pink shirts and salmon-colored shorts and shit like that, it wasn't cool.
Kanye starts wearing it.
Now it's cool.
Right.
Right?
White people were wearing fucking raggedy shirts and all that kind of stuff.
It wasn't cool.
Kanye started to put it out.
The dorkiest thing in the world until 2018 was a fanny pack.
Now all of a sudden it's cool.
It's cool.
So black people make shit cool.
So if I'm the scientific community, I'm like, yo, give me a black guy to explain this science shit.
If we need to trick kids into being scientists because we're going to lose the intellectual race, like if we're talking about nationcraft, you know what I'm saying?
If we're going to trick kids into being scientists, you know those stupid commercials they put out where they're like, it's so important to be a scientist.
It's so important to be a mathematician.
That shit don't work.
You know what works?
If you make it cool.
Yeah.
Right?
So how do I make it cool?
Now, this is typical white executive way of doing shit, which is, well, just make a black person do it.
That'll be cool.
Yeah.
You know what they forgot?
Neil deGrasse Tyson's a fucking dork.
Nobody's doing anything because Neil deGrasse Tyson said so.
I have yet to meet a person that says that's my hero.
Is that a picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson?
So this is young Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Young Neil deGrasse.
Making Science Cool00:06:52
Shit, he fell off.
Yo, young Neil deGrasse was a bad motherfucker.
He fell off.
Damn, look.
I mean, he was swole.
He was sweaty.
He was on that yak.
Yo, probably though, this one.
Now go to the picture of him and his wife.
Yo, he looked cool as shit.
Then he got with this bitch.
Now look at him.
In the infinite universe, that was the one.
Look at his fucking vest and tie combo.
And this guy, all of it.
It just.
He looks like a boat act.
Bro, this is what a fall off, dude.
This is one of the most historic falloffs in history.
If you guys saw the picture of what Neil looked like when he was younger, college Neil with the mutton chops.
Bruh.
Swollen.
Body.
Body.
Tight jeans.
Now I understand why he's me too in these girls.
Yo, you probably never had ass for pussy until just now.
Shit.
Never.
How'd you probably get less pussy and now you're famous?
That's how hard he fell off.
That's how hard he fell off.
That's how nerded out he got, man.
Now he's sitting there wearing fucking Van Gogh painting vests.
Unbelievable.
Yo, they stole the Van Gogh.
You heard about that, right?
No.
Yeah, they stole it.
Who did?
Well, from where?
I don't know.
I don't know who did it.
I think they're trying to figure that out.
Son, but from where?
From Amsterdam.
They got that whole Van Gogh museum.
No, from another museum in the Netherlands.
Dude, that's his wife.
Let me see.
I mean, come on, bro.
It's embarrassing, yo.
Come on.
Why are they always wearing some constellation themed shit?
Because he's the Carol Baskins of fucking science.
Yo, yo, really.
He is the Carol Baskins of science.
Real talk.
That's who he is.
You ain't rescuing nothing.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm getting sick wearing this mask.
I mean, you have a fucking effective mask.
What?
But I'm not getting sick from you.
The mask, I think, is getting me sick.
First of all, shout out to all the people that work in the hospital.
Bruh.
Wearing a mask sucks.
I mean, outside of like saving people's life and that kind of shit, just doing this all day, having this stupid thing on all day, is annoying, man.
There's got to be a better way.
I mean, I never thought your nose was big until today.
I used to make the jokes, but I didn't really feel it.
But now, when I see that mask sliding off your face and I see your fucking just hook speaking through.
Son, it's not hooked.
It's pretty straight, but it's got, it's like a dorsal fin from a whale.
It looks like a killer whale.
Like, real talk, I have an advantage when I backstroke.
I used to do this.
You look like a whale that's not a sea world.
Just straight.
Oh, no.
I'm out.
I'm straight fin.
Yeah, I'm straight fin.
I'm with my pod, son.
I'm with my pod.
But when I backstroke.
Can you just let him talk and just keep fucking just noticing?
Zoom in on the mask.
Go look at this.
When I backstroke, most people have to keep their head above water so they can breathe during the backstroke.
I would submerge my head and then I would just have my nose pop out of the water like a shark's fin, and I would just breathe through it like a snorkel.
Bro, you make kids run away for the beach, dude.
Dude, when you swim?
Yo, son, if I'm out there and I hit you with a little donut, it could be a problem, bro.
Oh, fuck.
It could be a problem.
Hey, I gotta salute.
I gotta salute Netflix.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
What'd they do?
Son, it's not what they did.
It's what we did.
Netflix is dropping that Jordan Dock early, baby.
Oh, yes.
They're dropping that Jordan Doc.
Yeah, ESPN and Netflix.
Well, I think ESPN is the one who produced it and it's on Netflix.
Here's what I noticed that's interesting.
Go.
ESPN.
I saw Adam Schefter and Adrian Walgrew post about it.
I never knew ESPN to be like, hey, guys, we have content dropping.
Everybody tweet about it.
But I think all their employees had tweeted about it.
And I'm trying to figure out why.
And that's why I assumed it's going to also be aired on ESPN.
No, I think you know why.
Because there's absolutely nothing else to tweet about regarding sports.
But to make your employees tweet makes me think they're hurting.
They're not making it.
I don't think they're making them.
I think there's literally nothing for them to tweet about.
They tweet about sports shit.
They tweet about trades.
They tweet about injury requests.
Shifter got shit to tweet about.
NFL don't give a fuck.
They're still having the draft.
Sent out a memo to their owners, like, yo, none of y'all better tell us not to have the draft.
Anybody comes out?
Did you hear this?
What?
The NFL sent out a memo to all the owners basically saying nobody is allowed to speak out against us having the draft on April 29th.
You're going to make us look worse.
That is forbidden.
They don't give a fuck.
So if you're Adam Schefter, you got plenty of stuff to talk about.
Yeah.
Free agency is still going on.
The draft's still going on.
What is happening?
The draft is in three weeks.
But have we heard any news about it?
I mean, there was free agency news.
There's still going to be free agents signed, but you had all kinds of shit happening last week.
What?
Big name free agents went everywhere.
Tom Brady, I'm pretty sure, was last week.
Yeah, but that was last week.
What I'm saying is, you can't deny that there are less things going on.
100%.
And when there are less things going on, anything that revolves around sports, you're going to kind of be the first person to put it on.
My theory is because there's so little sport.
Have you been on ESPN now?
It's like, dude, the front page is like they're putting out Instagram videos from people in backyards doing impersonations of other players.
Son.
And these are front page ESPN articles.
And there's like multiple videos.
Normally it's like one is like, hey, here's the thing to distract you.
That's their sports now.
So I think they're just like, hey, we need to remind motherfuckers that we put out sports content, that we're the sports kings.
So we're putting this out early, and every one of y'all tweet about it.
I don't think it's on ESPN, though.
But I think it's an ESPN production, so it's like we're still associated with it.
Yeah.
And I assume they will also broadcast it on ESPN.
I can't imagine it's just on Netflix.
Maybe it will be, but I assume they'll also be.
I can't imagine that Netflix would pay an exorbitant amount of money to have it on their channel and allow it to be on other channels.
Well, I mean, we'll see.
You might be right.
I'm just saying, if I'm.
It's usually how things go, right?
Like, Sopranos isn't also on Showtime while it's on HBO.
Right.
And there's shows like ABC will say ABC Studios will sell the show to Fox and it'll be on Fox.
Right, because ABC Studio is different than ABC.
Matter of fact, everybody loves Raymond.
I remember it was always HBO Studios when I was a kid.
I was like, what the fuck?
That's so cute.
Yeah, because that's a weird thing a lot of people don't get.
But like, the studio is what makes it.
Yeah.
And the channel is what puts it on, buys it, puts it on.
So ABC divides itself into different divisions.
They'll create shows for themselves, but also other people.
So ABC Studio can create a show for CBS or NBC.
Right.
Or in Everybody Loves Raymond situation, I guess HBO created the show and then sold it to CBS.
Yeah.
So in this case, ESPN.
Yeah.
Blue Chew Offer Code00:06:48
You know, they fucking did it and they killed it.
Anyway, point is that's how you know we're fucked when they're sending Jordan after coronavirus.
Like when they're like the only person that could possibly keep you inside.
Like if you, nobody will shelter in place.
They can't keep people in the house.
And they're like, just roll out the Jordan dock and then finally, maybe we can keep people inside a few hours a day.
And I plan on watching it over and over again.
Each episode, there's nothing to do.
I'm watching it twice.
Oh, really?
Why not?
I'm going to watch the flu game episode a couple times.
That one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jordan can beat it.
Why can't we?
Get inspired.
So I gave you a laugh because we made that joke on this podcast.
Did you?
Yeah, of course.
I was like, it's inspiring.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So you're thinking in the right way.
Damn, bro.
Son, it's so crazy looking at you in this mask.
Just talking to people in masks.
This is what Chinese people deal with every single day.
Isn't this fucking crazy?
They were ready.
You think they were just ready for this because, I mean, they might be lying about their death toll, but maybe.
Of course, they're lying.
But also, you think they're just ready for this because it's like, we've been dealing with this shit.
Son.
We had the SARS.
We had the MERS.
We didn't give a fuck about SARS or MERS.
Yeah.
No, 100% they're ready for it.
They're ready for it because they know it's going to come from them.
Yeah.
That's what they do.
All the diseases come from them.
Except Ebola.
Say again, they probably did that too there in Africa.
Oh, or they're buying up all Africa.
Or they're probably buying African bets.
Yeah.
That's why it's fucking insulting.
Like when China's trying to help the whole world and shit.
Like, oh, we'll send masks.
We'll send this.
Why don't you just not send viruses?
That's a good idea.
Why don't we stop there?
Don't do anything else but stop sending viruses.
Let's go.
When you send us masks, you have a fucking Japanese person do it.
How about that?
That's it.
Yeah, just get a Japanese, get a clean Chinese person, aka a Japanese person, to send it over.
It's very simple.
Mark, what'd you say about that?
Mark said, it's like Chinese people trying to help out the coronavirus pandemic.
It's like when white people talk, what is it?
It's like white people trying to explain how to not get shot by the cops to black people.
Guys, it's really not that hard.
Fuck.
All you got to do is respect the virus.
Yeah, just respect.
Do what it says.
You know, if it says stop, then just stop.
Stay inside, stay inside.
Listen, was your tail let out?
I mean, he's not wrong.
All right, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills, okay?
Guys, you're locked in.
Ladies, you're locked in.
Couples, you're locked in.
Okay?
You know, you're out there fucking because you got to have something to do to pass the time.
You got to feel connected.
You got to be together.
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You know what I mean?
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You know, sometimes you guys are getting a little angsty.
Okay?
You're getting a little angsty in there.
You're bickering back and forth.
Your girl's not respecting you the same way that she used to respect you.
Sometimes you need to deliver that dick.
Let her know you are a fucking lion.
Not one of them captured lion or captivity lions living in Joe Exotic or Doc Antel's safaris.
We're talking about a real lion in the wild with a big old hard fucking dick, hard like my nose.
All right?
Your dick don't fit in a condom.
That shit comes halfway down.
Okay?
You look like my dad walk into the living room through the living room to pee in the middle of the night when I'm having sleepover.
Okay?
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Now let's get back to the show.
Oh, fuck.
What else we got going on, man?
Yo, you heard the story of LeBron saving Mellow's life back in the day?
No, what is this?
Condoms and Flashlights00:13:30
He's on IG Live with Dwayne Wade, and they're talking.
I think someone asked about LeBron, and they're telling stories about LeBron.
And then they talk about his game on the court.
They say off the court, the most impressive thing you ever did is he's.
I love that neither of them are interesting enough that they just got to talk about more interesting players.
If you're best friends with one of the greatest players of all time, especially if you're Mellow, what else can you talk about?
I don't care.
The only things I want to know about Carmel Anthony and Dwayne Wade are Dwayne Wade's training kid and how he feels about it.
And then Carmelo, absolutely nothing.
I'm sure that question got asked and he just didn't.
You know Carmelo, keep it real.
What he gonna say?
I just think he'd be like, yo, so what you think about your fairy ass kid?
Because Carmel, I don't think, has enough common sense to not ask that question.
First of all, I'll say anything with a mask.
I feel very anonymous.
I know this is our podcast and like we're going to be known.
Yo, you said maggot and the only reason you got scared is because your new mask started sliding.
And then you remember?
He adjusted the mask.
He's like, oh shit, my mask came on.
They might know who this is.
I can say it's not me.
You could.
I can say it's not me.
There's plausible deniability.
100%.
I don't know who this is.
Yo.
Shit.
Say it.
I'm not.
Because when my nose pop out, they're going to know exactly who it is.
Akash, you could be anybody right now.
I really could.
Except for them pretty ass eyes, bro.
Mark, look at Akasha's eye, dog.
These shits are fucking gorgeous, bro.
I get Muslim women now.
I really do, bro.
You might be hotter just the eyes up.
It's so true.
They fucking figured it out.
They're not trying to cover up the pretty parts.
They're trying to cover up the ugly parts.
Every bitch is good looking from here to here.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Muslims are genius.
Oh, my.
Eyebrows are perfect.
You get the eye makeup.
You get all your time.
On six by two inches.
That's it.
You ever see a hijabi girl that has the hijab with her whole face on?
Yes.
Boy, God, beautiful face.
Because they only got to worry about one part.
Yeah, they're just doing all the makeup.
They don't have to blend that shit in.
You remember when white girls weren't blending their neck and stuff?
Did you see a real ugly Muslim bitch, bro?
She just has one eye open.
You see her, she just has one eye poking out.
Look like Mike Wazowski.
Bro, it's so true.
You never see them missing eyes.
I've never seen a one-eyed Muz.
Hey, man, maybe that's Ella, you know?
Hey, look.
This is all you show in the world.
They're going to be pretty.
I'm going to make sure these are intact.
Interesting.
Yeah, this is fascinating.
So you can see all the ingestors happening to you.
It's like looking out of a mailbox all that, dude.
All right, what else is happening, man?
There's a condom shortage, apparently.
Who is shacked up with somebody during the quarantine and using condoms?
I don't understand it.
Yeah, that's weird.
I feel like this is like the toilet paper hoarding where you're just freaking out and you're like, let me buy this.
Let me buy this.
Oh, we're going to be fucking buying the condoms.
So it's not being used.
Yeah.
They're not being used, but they're being purchased and just kind of held.
And I'm telling you that shit, they probably tried it like three times and then they're like, yeah, the world is ending.
Let's just fuck.
Interesting.
They're just going to have 400 condoms sitting in their fucking laundry room or whatever.
Now, if I was a condom company or some other company, I would release this on purpose.
To make people buy more condoms?
Yeah, because once it happened with the toilet paper, everybody went crazy and started buying toilet paper.
So I would go, yo, I would actually buy out the condoms.
I'd literally send people to buy out all the condoms in a few CVSs, then let other people take pictures and post it, and then have this fake viral campaign where everybody's freaking out.
Oh my God, I won't be able to get condoms anymore when you're not even fucking anyway.
And then just do it.
But who is fucking their quarantine bay with a condom?
I don't.
I don't understand that.
If you trust somebody, Mark, are you?
I mean, I think it was a production issue.
What do you mean?
Like, the factories were in Indonesia and that shit all got shut down for like three weeks.
Why are they making condoms in that place?
I need my condoms made somewhere like me.
America made.
Yeah, I need American made.
I'm just saying, like, when Indonesians are making those condoms, they're like, what kind of dicks are they putting in here?
Do they think they're like Christmas sleeves?
They think they're making backpacks.
What are the things that you put presents in?
Yeah, Christmas stockings.
Like, real talk.
What do they think they're making, bro?
Yo, especially because them shits can get so fast.
If you roll it all out.
Yo.
Oh, man.
Americans love a fisting.
Maybe that's why Asian girls love black dudes so much.
They didn't assume, you know?
What?
They're like, I need to see what the dick is going here.
Yeah, they got to assume it's for the black dude.
God, we had a guy on Corona's Got Talent, and he said that.
No, he moved.
He was an Asian guy.
He moved from Vietnam to Canada.
And he said, he's an aspiring comic, but he said that the dick sizes grew exponentially.
Wait, is he gay?
No.
He just saw a lot of dicks in Canada.
Listen, we didn't get to that part.
We asked a little bit.
But oh my God, this is so hard.
Exponentially.
So it's true.
I mean, exponentially is what struck me.
Like, they're bigger, is one thing.
But by an exponential point, yo, when a dick is your dick cubed, son.
That's crazy.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
That's a lot more dick.
That's a lot more dick.
Fuck.
I actually do think that the conversion rate for money is the same as dick.
Okay, go on.
You got a bot dick?
Yeah.
American dicks got the strongest dick.
And then, like, I think the English?
Yeah, what is like the pound?
Like, that's a little less.
The pound or pound.
Yeah, but it's not a ton less, but it's like...
No, the pound's more.
Pound is more.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, it's okay.
Well, they have more because they're not circumcised.
Got them.
Oh, there.
Oh, saved you, bro.
Okay, go on.
Oh, no.
This theory is starting to fall apart.
Yeah, because once we go to Africa, you're fucked.
Yeah.
So how do we find Africa?
But they got gold.
And they got diamonds.
They got the actual currency.
So they got the hardest, strongest dicks.
Yeah, diamond.
Diamond is where you really see it.
Fuck.
So I might be accurate.
Damn it.
I mean, this is crazy how much you're coughing.
I think it's this.
I don't think I'm getting enough good breath in.
And I think I'm really dried out.
Put on the fucking Rona mask, yo.
Say again?
Can you put on the Rona mask?
If I'm already coughing, I already got it.
I mean, that's the dedication that we have to this.
Who else got it?
What other things we want to talk about?
Oh, do you want to talk about Carol Baskins?
Or do you want to talk about the video that has come out where the Tiger King himself, Joe Exotic, is saying, why can't white people say the N-word?
Everybody is all shocked that that is his opinion.
I didn't know that video existed, but I also knew that video existed.
Did you really need to see that to know?
Did you see a single black person in the entire documentary?
Yeah.
Who?
No, no, no.
I'm agreeing with you.
One of the Panthers.
That was the only black person they had in that entire documentary.
Okay?
There's no way that he didn't have this opinion.
Now, I will say this, which was really interesting.
Everybody's upset about it, but he says, why can't white people say the N-word?
He goes, black people in their rap videos are saying it all the time.
Why can't white people say the N-word?
He doesn't say the N-word.
Yeah, that's exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
He's actually...
I don't necessarily think he's racist because he's dumb.
He's exactly the kind of white guy who'd be like, yeah, but why can't I say it?
And then if you maybe...
You can't say it, but why can't I?
Exactly.
And then maybe if you explain to him, he's actually the type that might understand it.
Yeah, because he's a gay.
He's a gay.
He gets it.
He gets it.
Of course.
Wait, he gets what?
He understands oppression.
He understands oppression.
100%.
You know how your dad told you don't come to my funeral, looked at you like you weren't even a human being?
That's what white people did to black people for hundreds of years.
He'd be like, oh, okay.
White people are like my dad.
I got it.
Can you explain that funeral thing?
I don't understand that.
I don't ever want to see you again.
But don't come to my funeral.
Don't come to my funerals like the most final.
I don't want to see you ever again, ever.
Yeah, but guess who's not going to know if you come or not?
You.
I don't even want people to know I was associated with you.
But they do know because I'm your son.
Yeah, but if you don't show up at the funeral, then they know I didn't want you there.
But if I show up, there's nothing you can do about it.
There is nothing.
That's why I got to make you shake my hand and promise me you're not going to come to my funeral.
Yeah, well, he probably shook his hand earlier and promised not to be gay.
That didn't work out.
You know, what's funny is he still robbed his parents blind, even not talking to his father.
Ain't that something?
Yeah, guess who doesn't have enough money for a funeral?
Hey, I'll show you how to show you how to have no one come near a future.
Yeah, he really caroled Baskins to his parents, didn't he?
This bitch is really insane, yo.
Carol, Carol.
So, uh, I'm loving watching The Backlash on Carol.
Oh, yeah.
It's so glorious.
So, Theo, Theo Vaughn, had Doc Antel on his podcast.
Great.
And they're having a fucking grand old time from the clips I saw.
They're having a grand old time.
You know, he's got the chimpanzees out, all that kind of shit.
Doc Antel is actually kind of coming out of this, okay?
And it was the goal of the documentarian to make him look the worst.
Yeah.
It failed.
Yeah.
If you thought Doc Antel was an egomaniac before, it's got to be on another level now.
100%.
Right?
100%.
Like, you specifically went out of your way.
The guy who's a documentarian, right?
Specifically went out of your way.
And you know that that guy used to date like Naomi Camille and he owned some clubs and shit like that.
Doc Antel?
No, the guy who made the documentary.
Okay.
Respect.
Yeah, he's some like rich dude.
Yeah.
Like he's some like rich, what's it, scenesterry guy from New York, right?
Right.
And but he went out of his way to make Doc look stupid.
Yeah.
Like literally included extra footage to make him look stupid and cut out footage that made Joe look racist.
Think about it.
He's in the edit, right?
He has the opportunity to include something that shows how Joe Exotic feels about the N-word.
Right.
Decides not to do it.
Right.
He knows the entire time that Joe is, he's kind of a piece of shit, this documentarian, luring in straight guys with me, and then kind of like keeping them on his land.
Yeah.
Doesn't do anything about it, doesn't call anybody, doesn't try to alert the authorities.
He knows that there's an illegal cub trade going on.
Right.
Yo, being the documentarian is kind of shitty.
I don't, I've said this before.
I don't, and I bought into this one and we watched it.
Is he the worst person in that doc?
Any documentarian I don't trust.
I don't trust any documentary.
And I bought into this, and this is why, because you can make me think whatever you want me to think with hundreds of hours of footage that you edit into two hours of whatever you want it to be.
In this case, seven hours of whatever you want it to be.
Yes.
You got to get your point across from seven years of footage that you cut into seven hours.
Of course I'm going to believe whatever you want me to believe.
I still don't like Doc Antel.
I mean, he is white R. Kelly.
But much like White R. Kelly, pretty talented.
But he waited.
He was patient.
Like, he didn't take any girl that wasn't 18.
Are we sure?
I thought it was 16.
No, I thought they came there right after college, like 18 or 19.
Or 17.
I don't know.
But like, legal.
Yeah.
Patient R. Kelly.
He's patient.
And nobody would say shit to R. Kelly if they were 19.
Yeah.
I mean, him and Joe are the same, but Joe is like using your drug habit.
He's using a broken thing and then feeding it to you.
Yes.
And R. Kelly is using your addiction to fame.
Yeah.
And your need to be a singer.
And Doc is using your probably like need to feel like you were helping or whatever.
I'm sure.
But like.
Your need to have an identity.
Yeah.
Doc has some clout too.
Like, he's got an Instagram with millions of followers.
His kid has an Instagram with millions of followers.
Like, there's a fame play with him also.
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
I mean, he's, he loves the fame.
Like, that's why he was, I mean, like, and this is what the documentarian hated, but that's why he was suggesting different ways to shoot the scenes because he's like, let's shoot this in the way that looks the coolest.
Yeah.
I mean, it blew my mind that he edited it that way.
I couldn't believe it.
I literally, and not a lot of things make me like gasp, but I was like, when I saw that, when he, I literally went like that.
I know it sounds stupid, but here's why I went like that.
I know how painstaking editing is.
Right.
I know how difficult it is to cut an episode down to time.
Right?
Each of these episodes around 40 minutes.
Right.
He edited it for TV.
He thought that they were going to sell this to the nature channel or something.
They're 42 minutes around the episodes.
So that leaves around 18 minutes of commercial.
That's exactly how.
Wow, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, you're right.
100%, right?
So he that means, and think about it, you probably have hundreds and hundreds of hours of footage.
Yeah.
You cut out other shit.
Like Joe probably screaming the M-word all over his safari to keep in these extra scenes of Doc Antel.
Domesticating Alligators00:13:42
What if when he burned down the alligator shit, he was actually just trying to burn a cross and then things went awry?
He was practicing.
They got away from him.
Yeah.
He was dressed like you.
I lost my gators.
I mean, if an animal had to go.
Yeah, It shows how no one cares about losing.
No one gave a fuck about yo.
If the chimpanzees all got burned down, we'd be like, dude, put that motherfucker under the jail.
What a piece of shit.
But when they're like, the alligator penned it is like, can we make some belts still?
How does this work?
What are we doing here, guys?
They weren't even included in it.
Yo, that's such a great point because I was like, ah, gators.
He had them?
Yeah.
Son, a lion is a much more like powerful, fucking scary thing, I'm sure, in real life, but there's something majestic about it.
It's beautiful.
A gator is gross.
I understand.
It's like evil to me.
Reptiles are evil to me.
Yeah, wait, go on that.
That's interesting.
Yo, snakes, they're just slithing around.
You don't trust them.
Literally embody evil in the Bible with Adam and Eve.
Like, this is the thing that ruined everything.
And they chose a snake on purpose because it's just a fucking gross, slithering, hissing.
Like, it's a bunch of shit.
I don't know if we're trained that way from a young age or if it's human nature to just hate.
Like, everything about you is creepy, dude.
Alligators just kind of like crawling around, ugly, scaly.
Reptiles are scaly.
Their skin is fucking, there's nothing like soft about it.
It's hard.
So is there like a human quality in cats or certain animals?
Like, do we need to see humanity in certain animals in order to like fall in love with them?
Because there's no way an alligator is any more dangerous than a lion to a human being.
You know what?
When he's cuddling with those baby tigers and cheating, they look so cute.
And like, it's so lovable.
Can you imagine cuddling with a baby fucking Komodo dragon?
Fucking, who cares, bro?
They're not cuddly.
So what do humans need in animals?
Maybe that's an awesome thing.
Cuddliness and some majesty, I think.
I think with a man, like a lion or a tiger, there's something majestic about it.
It's just like...
What about all animals in general?
Because clearly humans have picked certain animals that we're going to domesticate.
Yeah.
Right?
Oh, did we talk about that on the pod yesterday or no?
No, we didn't.
Because that was a really interesting argument.
We talked about it off-mike.
Off-mic.
We should bring that into this right afterwards.
But Mark was reading a book and they had a really interesting take on this kind of shit.
But, okay, so what are the animals that we're gravitating towards?
Are they the most easily domesticatable animals?
Or are they aesthetically pleasing?
There's an aesthetic appeal.
Okay.
I think a cuddliness, like, and probably as from aesthetics, but like, oh, I can cuddle with this.
It will cuddle back with me.
There's a love.
There's like a bond that I feel like I could have with this thing.
And then I think also, in some cases, if it's like a majestic creature, like a horse, there's something majestic about a horse that's fucking just running.
Like you're like, oh, shit.
And you see a lion kind of or a tiger kind of prowling.
There's something like powerful, majestic, mesmerizing about it.
An alligator, dude, it's just crawling low to the ground, long, gross looking, got this creepy ass smile on its face.
Even that creepy fucking gator smile.
And also, I think location of where you find them.
Like you find a lion in this fucking giant safari in the savannah.
You see a deer and an elk in like the fucking prairies.
You see an alligator in a bog in a swamp.
Yeah.
In a smelly, gross, algae-filled pond.
So like we shouldn't even be in the place that the alligator presides.
Yeah.
We are in the place where the lion presides and the tiger presides.
That's also our neighborhood, if you will.
So we like to hang out with animals that are in our neighborhood.
And even like an ocean is a beautiful body of water, to Mark's point.
Ocean looks like crystal blue water.
But we ain't trying to hang out with no fucking salmon.
Yeah, but it's grosser.
We're not grossed out, aren't they?
Can you get them in the water in the ocean?
That's probably where are they going in the river?
You know what I mean?
I don't even know if they know.
Because they be swimming against it.
Oh, true.
Right?
Salmon are annoying motherfuckers, bro.
It's like, if you're in a river, it does all the swimming for you.
And they actually try to swim against it for no reason.
Yeah, there's no reason.
They're in a lazy river.
Son.
And they're being so extra.
They're being so extra.
Oh, you fucking devil's advocate fish.
You kneel the grass Tyson.
Neil the Grass Tyson ass fish, bro.
Just go into the ocean.
The rest of us just chilling, yo.
Be a tuna.
Okay, go.
But like an ocean is a beautiful body of water.
If you see that.
I'm going to ask one more question.
Salmon is pronounced salmon.
Yeah.
Right?
Now, you've heard some people call it salmon.
That's what my boy Luther called it in college.
Of course.
Yeah.
He said, of course, because he's black.
Okay.
Now, what is that disease when you don't cook chicken enough?
Salmonella.
Stay woke, bro.
Yo.
Stay woke, bro.
Hey, third eye, dog.
Third eye.
That should be salmonella.
It should be salmonella.
I think we should call it salmonella.
Salmonella.
I'm in.
I'm all in on salmonella.
I'm glad I interrupted you to say that.
Okay, good.
I'm really glad I stopped your train of thought to bring that to this conversation.
Come also to the list.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
But there's, so I think it's extra gross because, like, look, like a whale, that's a big thing, but it's still, it's in a beautiful body of water out there.
Dolphins, there's something kind of cool and majestic about that.
And there's other reasons, but I also think to his point, a swamp where you picture gators being, it's fucking gross.
Okay.
It's ugly, water mad, dirty looking.
So now we have to try to try to break our own theory.
All right.
What is an animal that exists within our environment that we don't want to cohabitate with?
A rat.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Now, I think it was the guy who owned the Russian guy that owned the Nets where he said...
Prokhorov.
Prokhorov.
He said, the difference between a rat and a squirrel is marketing.
Now, a rat and a squirrel are the same thing, only that bushy tail and the way that they're marketed makes them very different.
But the way they interact, the exact same.
Yo, have you ever heard this?
This is like a real thing.
Go.
There's a podcast, 99% invisible.
You ever heard of it?
No.
They actually had a major.
I'm living up to its name.
Exactly.
They had a marketing push to put squirrels in Central Park.
Squirrels are not indigenous or native to Central Park.
They actually went out, got squirrels, put them in the park, and then they actually gave them a status as non-human friends.
So they literally changed the status of squirrels from like animal to like non-human friend and literally changed the perception of squirrels because of marketing.
And so now we perceive squirrels and like chipmunks and other like woodland creatures as different than we would see like rats.
And what was the reason for it?
Were they helping the park in any way?
Did they like kill critters or something?
It was like a tourist thing.
Like, there's a story they mentioned in the podcast where there's literally a squirrel in a tree, like the first squirrel, and there's like a crowd of like 50 people just looking at it.
Because back in the day, you'd never see a squirrel like that.
Yeah.
That's actually a good, that's actually a good time to bring in the conversation we were having yesterday.
So Mark asked an interesting question.
He goes, all right, you know how like white people gave Native Americans diseases?
Yeah.
And then they died.
He goes, did Native Americans give white people diseases?
Did they?
Well, you would think if we both have diseases, we would give them to each other, right?
I think your immune systems are stronger.
Isn't that what the book Guns, Germs, and Steel is about?
Jared Diamond.
Kind of.
Well, here's the interesting thing.
Who's Jared Diamond the...
He's the guy that wrote that book.
You would do that.
What?
That's what you're saying.
I just know that you know the fucking all the way.
Anyway, bro, you said the book.
So point is.
Sky.
This fucking guy.
So the point is, right?
So you have, you would think that they would give this.
Now, you could say our immune systems were stronger, right?
But our immune systems are only stronger in the environment in which they exist in.
So they're stronger in Europe, but they wouldn't still be strong to these diseases that they've never experienced.
No, but they could be weaker diseases.
So your immune system is strong enough to fight the lesser disease.
I don't think that the immune system works like a muscle.
I think that it's more like there are certain antibodies that can handle these different viruses.
But if you don't have the antibody for this completely new novel virus, it will still affect you.
You understand what I'm saying?
Maybe.
Let's assume that.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Okay, let's go along with that assumption.
Let's assume that.
So then Mark says something.
Or the guy in the book says it, whatever.
Yes, this is CGP Gray.
He's like a YouTuber.
But basically, he was like, you have, bro, it's a YouTuber.
Go!
So basically, he's like, you have domesticatable animals that live in the East, not really in the West.
Like in the Americas, there's no domestic.
I'm going to say one thing.
There were no viruses in America.
That's why.
That's why the natives didn't get it.
Yeah, literally.
There were no viruses.
Why were there no viruses here?
So in Europe and shit, they're domesticating all these animals.
They're getting these animals and they're just making them like their friends.
Like they got sheep and fucking, like, they're making horses domesticated, all that shit.
And then they make cities where they start selling, trading, buying animal products.
And then now they're living right next to animals.
And then they start all these plagues in Europe.
So like London has like fucking cholera, which is where you have pigs shitting in the water and then people are drinking pig shit.
And then if you survive the plagues, now you have immunity, but you're still a carrier of that virus.
So, right?
So you still have cholera.
You just got some shit in your body that could beat it.
Right?
So bubonic plague, rats from China came here on the Silk Road or here to Europe on the Silk Road, takes out Europe.
But there are some people that have built up the immunity for it, right?
So they come over to the United States.
Now, Native Americans allegedly never domesticated animals prior to white people coming.
Once white people came, they got some horses and they learned how to shoot bow and arrows on horses.
The rest is history.
But there weren't that many animals here to domesticate.
That's what's really interesting to me.
There were no fucking animals here.
How you have T-Rex?
How you have brontosaurus, but you don't have a regular animal.
Isn't that crazy?
Or maybe they just weren't domesticatable.
They had buffalo, obviously.
Yeah, but it's hard to domesticate a buffalo.
I mean, didn't we do it?
We rotted on them shits.
I don't know if we did that.
Isn't a bull a buffalo or is that different?
It's different.
Same genus, I think.
I got no clue.
A bull is just a Greek buffalo.
It's just hairier.
That's all it is.
Anyway, so I guess they didn't domesticate any animals.
And because they didn't domesticate them, they didn't get those same diseases that the Europeans got.
And then because they didn't have the diseases, they didn't develop any immunity for them.
They weren't carrying them.
So we came over with all these diseases that we had immunity for, that they had none of.
They never had any diseases to hand over to us.
Oh, fuck.
So we're hanging out with each other.
They don't even need the blankets.
A high five.
Done.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're not concerned about getting diseases because they don't fucking have any.
Yo, that's so wild.
White people are concerned, right?
White people have existed, or Europeans have existed for hundreds of years with all these different fucking diseases, right?
So they're on their P's and Q's.
They're like, I'm not accepting no fucking blankets.
I'm not hugging these motherfuckers.
Like, they could have.
It's the Chinese of the ancient times.
That's it.
They had no masks either.
If you think your mask is shitty, Native Americans just have feathers and dreamcasters and shit.
And we're not catching any germs.
How many molecules goes through a dream casher?
All of them.
Every molecule.
Big hole in the middle.
Catches dreams, not virus.
Is that a virus catcher?
Come around, no clothes, barefoot, fucking loincloth.
Sud.
Moccasins at best.
At best.
Low-key, it's like they were taunting God, bro.
Yeah.
It's like God was like, oh, word, that's how you want to dress?
Oh, you're going to get these sniffles.
Believe that.
Maybe that's why God took them because they were arrogant.
They were a little bit arrogant.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
So that's why you got all these Peruvian motherfuckers taming llamas.
That's as close as the people in America got to domesticating animals.
And by America, you're talking about the South America.
Okay, gotcha.
Yeah, like the Agaconda.
That's all they got.
Yeah.
Yeah.
llamas.
But how fascinating is that?
None of these domesticatable animals exist.
All of a sudden, we populate an entire fucking two continents with animals.
We're not talking about just North America with cows, horses, and shit.
You get onto all of the fucking Argentina, you're going to find them there.
How long does it take to populate two continents with animals?
I mean, what a fucking...
Someone write that book.
I mean, that is insane.
How did alligators get here?
No, alligators, I think, existed.
Bitches are dinosaurs.
But they weren't domesticated.
They're dinosaurs.
Alligators have been here since the beginning of time.
But they're domesticated, so that's why they didn't.
No, no, they're not.
No, but they weren't domesticated.
I mean, so that's why they weren't...
That's why we didn't...
Native Americans didn't get those diseases because they domesticated.
They never animals that were here.
I think, I guess, and then the issue with the Wuhan virus or the Chinese virus is and all these other viruses, they're coming from where?
The wet markets.
Starving Vulture Husband00:15:34
Right.
So not only are they domesticating these fucking animals, they're selling them.
They're selling jellyfish and shit in the middle of the street.
So it's not even like they're in a barn.
They're literally right there for the whole city to come down and touch and look at and pet.
You got to shut down the wet market, right?
Bro, that's what they say they're going to do, but you know they ain't going to do that.
As much as you can control shit in China, it's still fucking 2 billion people.
It's like controlling shit in India.
They don't even try.
It's like you could tell them to go inside.
You can hit them with a stick, but motherfuckers are going to go outside if they need it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean.
You don't think?
They're trying.
I mean, from what I understand, it's like you have very limited options.
There's not much you can do.
But I think China just don't give a fuck.
I think the government of China is like, whatever, man.
It kills the rest of them.
Who gives a fuck?
What kills you guys?
Who gives a fuck?
If the government of China wanted to shut some shit down, I think they could do it to a large degree.
I mean, this is an oppressive regime.
I think they could, but I think you're going to get out to like the farms and shit.
When you go outside of the big cities, I think they can handle the big cities.
I think when you go outside to like, not even the suburbs of the big cities, I'm talking about the fucking farmland.
If you need a wet market to a farmland, though, it would be a lot less destructive, I think.
A farmland is a wet market.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, they don't have wet markets.
Yeah.
I don't think they're worried about that little town that's out there, but that's the shit you can't control.
But luckily, that little town isn't going to really hurt what's happening in the city.
When you have 20 million people in a densely populated urban environment, that's when shit spreads.
That's why New York got more than any other place in the world right now.
Motherfuckers living on top of each other.
Exactly.
So, but whatever.
Chinese probably lying.
We don't know what's going on.
Oh, we didn't get to this.
Carol Baskins killed her husband.
Mark has some interesting theories.
He was asking beforehand.
Do you think, we all think she killed her husband, right?
How do you think she did it?
Do you think it was a meat grinder?
Check this real quick.
Either the tigers?
This is how you know she killed her husband.
Let me give you this shit right here.
This is 100% fact.
Oh, you're pulling up a bar right now?
What is that?
I got something for you, sons.
I got something for you.
There's a great guy, Robert Moore, did a he did a podcast about Joe Exotic and what everything was going on there.
It just didn't get the same level of popularity, but he had done one.
So he is a great Twitter thread.
And I read some of the tweets, but one of them is this.
This is the 21st.
He has a great Twitter thread.
You can check it out.
It's Robert Moore, R-O-B-E-R-T-M-O-O-R underscore.
Look closely at the restraining order Don filled out against Carol.
His signature doesn't match the one on the power of attorney, which handed Carol to control in the event of his disappearance.
When I asked Carol about this, she said he could barely read or write anyway.
And you look at the signatures.
Completely different.
Son.
Different.
Bro, he signs one, Don Lewis, and the other signature is signed Jack Donald Lewis.
Whoa.
That's wild.
That's wild, this bitch, this murderous bitch.
She's a murderous bitch.
And she's not going to get punished in the sense of jail, but I feel like for a girl like this, when her reputation gets dragged in the mud, that's almost worse than jail for her.
That's a great fucking point.
Her whole thing is built on a house of lies of I'm such a good person.
I'm rescuing animals.
Oh, my husband disappeared.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know.
I'm just out here caring about cats and rescuing cats.
And she comes out of this looking the worst.
And now everything is falling apart around.
Ain't nobody supporting big animal rescue after this?
PETA gonna take PETA going to take their sponsorship away, I'm sure.
I don't know why PETA didn't catch shit.
What are you sponsoring this bitch for?
Did you look into this at all?
That's a great point.
That is a fantastic shit.
They just put the word rescue on it, and you were like, oh, and this thing, my girl pointed it out, like, PETA just supported them because it had the word rescue.
Did you look into anything?
They're not in great conditions, these animals.
Remember the fucking tiger drinking from the water?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was so shitty.
Before I found out she killed her husband, I was like, oh, that must be like doctored footage.
You're not going to make a tiger stick his fucking neck through something to drink a little bowl of water.
Oh, my God.
Prison inmates.
That's a great point that prison wouldn't be the greatest punishment for her.
We look at it because we want justice, but reality.
This is justice.
The greatest punishment would be destroying her reputation because that's what she cares the most about.
She wants the love of the people.
She wants the love of the people.
She wants to be upheld.
So she actually got out of this the worst.
She got exactly what she deserved.
Because this is hell for her.
Everybody saying she killed her husband like it's a fucking fact.
Like every, I haven't heard a single Carol Baskins defense at all.
And that's the only time I, you look on Twitter for any opinions, you can find multiple opinions.
There's motherfuckers who think the world is flat.
Nobody thinks Carol Baskins didn't kill her husband.
There's no flat earther out there to support Carol Baskins.
No one.
Even flat earthers are like, yo, look at the facts.
Y'all crazy, man.
Like, this is pretty obvious, bro.
The truth is right there.
Let me do a little research.
Nice, come on.
Bro, that's just so true.
And I want to get back to the documentary thing or documentarian thing about the ethics of being a documentarian.
There is something about this.
You had a joke early on about this.
I think I don't trust documentaries.
No, no, no, no.
There is a, no, no, no.
It was about like the 10 cents a day kids.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
About how, like, why don't you just, they're like starving?
And it's like, you're standing right next to the starving kid.
Like, why don't you just feed him?
Yeah.
Or something like that.
Like, a certain point, like, are they devoid of like human responsibility for one another?
Like, if you're doing a documentary, right?
You're still a human being.
Right.
And you still have a responsibility to people around you.
Right.
We just allowed him for months, maybe years, to film all these people that he knew were doing horribly illegal shit.
And he didn't in any way step in because he was a documentarian.
I don't understand why that makes, like, if you're, if you know a murder is going to happen, right?
And you don't do anything, can you say, oh no, I'm not a documentarian?
Yeah, that's true.
There is some kind of thing.
If they're actively breaking the law, you should report it.
Yeah, you are complicit.
I think that's the term.
Yeah, now to play devil's advocate, I think you please do so.
I think if you see someone breaking the law, you have to report it as a documentarian.
I think.
He saw them breaking the law.
What did he see?
He saw them breeding the cubs.
They're not allowed to breed the cubs.
He saw them.
We saw them breeding the cubs.
That's number one.
Doing meth.
He must have seen people doing that.
I had to see him do the meth.
Yeah, I don't know what the, what is that?
Because I was going to say.
Well, doing meth probably isn't illegal, but buying it is illegal.
I mean, he saw him basically like capturing people.
Like he, he knew the other guys weren't gay.
He knew they were taking advantage of them.
I don't know if it's illegal to do that kind of stuff, but it is unethical to know that shit is going on and the whole time go, I'm going to profit off of this.
You got to be a scumbag, bro.
Like, you're not trying to save people.
You don't care about fucking animals.
You're doing this because you're like, I can profit off this and I can make millions of dollars potentially.
You know who's probably the biggest insight into what a documentarian really is?
What?
The reality show guy who wanted to do the Joe Exotic reality show.
Because you remember that guy who I actually thought was full of shit as I was watching, but I think an insight is when he was like, Joe Exotic wanted me to do his internet show if I could do a reality show on him.
And I was like, yeah, fine.
I'll do your little piddly ass internet show.
I own all this.
Who cares?
And you look at him like, oh, you're like, you're an asshole.
Yeah, you're a fucking leech.
Yeah, you're an, and you're like judging this guy and you're just going to profit off of him and exploit him.
You're an asshole.
That might be an insight into a documentary's mindset a bit, which is like, all right, you're a fucking idiot.
Oh, yeah, they're both equally bad.
Yeah.
Like the guy who's doing the documentary, the Kirkman, I think his name was, right?
Yeah.
And this document.
I just don't know where the ethics come in because I'm fascinated by the documentary.
I loved it.
So I play a part in this.
Like, I can't go, the drug trade is fucked up and then sit back and be hitting the weed.
Yeah.
Because I know who dies for me to get high.
Right.
Everybody's smoking weed right now.
Unless you're getting your shit from the government.
And even then, I'm sure there's some way that government is involved in the drug trade or cartel shit.
Probably, right?
There has to be some kind of feedback with that.
We're complicit.
We're complicit.
So it's easy for me to point the finger, even though I'm the reason why that guy's making it because you can make money off a guy like me.
Go, Mark.
Do you think it's different for journalists?
This is a thing that journalists have.
They have like the code of journalistic integrity.
Yeah.
Where like they're taking pictures of starving kids in Africa and they don't give them any food.
They can't feed them.
Like National Geographic, like they're doing these crazy shits and they can't intervene.
You have to be a complete bona fide psychopath.
Like when I watch these, these documentaries on Discovery Channel and it shows the polar bear slowly dying and you just videotaping this motherfucker slowly dying.
You're like not allowed to help, I think.
But I don't know why.
Come on.
It's not against the law.
It's some code or something.
It can't be illegal to be a doctor.
You know what that is?
That's them trying to carve out their immoral life into a moral within the morality we all live in.
I'm not allowed to help.
Says who, motherfucker?
You going to jail for feeding a starving kid?
Nobody in their right mind would send someone to jail for feeding a starving kid.
Yeah.
That's a great point.
They're trying to give themselves an out.
They're trying to give themselves an excuse because they don't have to do the right thing.
We can't help all these people.
They'll go broke.
So let's carve out a little place where it's like, well, what we do is cool making money off of them.
There's a code of ethics that you can't help them.
We would love to, but you can't.
They're probably going to say this, Akash.
They're going to go, if I make this documentary, it's going to reach so many people who are then going to donate money.
And by donating money, we'll help way more of these kids.
Now, what I would say to that is, cool, that's a great point.
What you could also do is take the proceeds from your documentary and donate it to them in addition to whatever aid they get.
So would you do that?
Now we're getting to this tricky thing where it's like, does capitalism help more people, you know, in the long run?
Where it's like, if we incentivize people with financial gain, do more people actually get help?
So I'm going to incentivize you to make this documentary with financial gain.
You can become a millionaire off of this.
But you know what?
If it's popular, people are going to donate tons of money to those starving kids.
It's a tricky thing.
And that's why I'm trying to bring it up.
I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it.
It's like, what are the ethics of making a documentary about some fucked up shit?
I've always thought this about Vice.
Vice is talking to all these like terrorist leaders and shit like that, right?
Like they sit down, they have these documentaries where they're like, hey, we talked to an ISIS leader in a cave in Afghanistan.
Tell motherfuckers where that is at.
Do you know what I mean?
You fucking hipster with your shaved sides of your head and your koi fish tattoos.
Tell motherfuckers where the leaders is at.
And keep this in mind.
You're not getting that meeting for free.
Oh, yeah.
You think that they get in that meeting for free?
You think that Afghanistan knows what vice is?
Yeah.
No, you're coming to them with the bag.
Hey, we'll give you 50 grand cash if you let us talk to one of your leaders.
Where do you think that money's going?
You think that money's going to what?
To buy some kites for the kids to play with?
Build a school?
No.
That's going to bombs to blow motherfuckers up.
Yo, I never trusted Vice ever.
They always acted like they were above journalists and like more pure.
You are a billion-dollar corporation.
What's the name, bro?
Vice.
Great point.
Fuck.
Sometimes you hide in plain sight.
Fucking great point.
So what are the ethics?
Mark, you look like you're looking this up right now.
Yeah, well, this reminds me of a story.
There's this famous photographer, Kevin Carter.
You ever heard of this, dude?
No.
So he took this famous picture of this starving girl with a vulture behind her that won a Pulitzer Prize like 1993.
And then after coming back from Nairobi, where he took this picture, killed himself because he was so like depressed and like sad that he couldn't do anything to help.
Well, he could.
Go like this to the vulture.
You know how easy it is to get a bird away?
You couldn't do that.
That's against journalistic integrity.
This fucking stop?
You couldn't hard stomp, son?
You could do a little Matt Barnes to Kobe.
Paul fake.
Matt Barnes to Kobe.
Come on, bro.
What are the ethics, man?
I really, why do we never question it?
Why do we see these documentaries?
Like, son, you remember that show we would always watch?
Intervention?
Yeah.
Intervene?
He's just falling around this bitch running around shooting meth in her arm and sucking dick.
Yo, you're right, yo.
And there's a producer and a camera.
Make sure you get the camera.
Make sure you get, sweetheart, could you stop injecting?
Just give us a second so we can set this shot up.
Can you shoot up again?
Because we didn't get it clean that time.
Don't worry, we'll pay for it.
Just shoot up and get a lot of noise in the background.
If you could just do that again, we didn't get it clean.
Neither did she.
Yeah.
Neither were the needles.
The shot mostly is more important.
But what are the fucking ethics, man?
Like, is information more valuable?
Do we just basically sit back and go, these people don't need to subscribe to the morality the rest of humanity does because they're giving us information that we would not have without them.
That goes out to the masses, and then the masses can do something.
I think the way they rationalize it would be: it's unethical for me to intervene in any way, for good or for bad.
My job is to report on the actual things that are happening.
But again, a woman who's about to get eaten by a vulture, you got the picture.
Now do something instead of just killing yourself.
Yeah.
Son, I mean, what a cuck thing.
I don't.
Why can't you intervene?
I don't understand.
Oh, wait a minute.
Because you can intervene in the negative way.
You can intervene in a negative way.
And two, this might be it.
Journalists have immunity in war zones.
Not complete immunity, but they can go to the bad guys.
They can go to the good guys, whoever the bad guys or good guys are.
We don't know, right?
But they can go around to both sides.
And generally speaking, they're taken care of.
They're like, hey, I'm a journalist.
I'm not doing anything for any.
I'm just here to document what's going on.
They're not killed.
Once they start intervening, their protection is out the window.
Now, when we're going to some tribal warfare zone in fucking the Congo and the journalist is just there to ask questions, they got to kidnap the journalists because they're like, yo, the last one that came here, he intervened when some girl was getting her arm chopped off for stealing a diamond.
So you might be here to intervene as well.
Or he's feeding our enemies to go, fuck yourself.
You're not getting anything out of me.
Maybe he'll kill you, whatever.
So maybe the honorable thing for a journalist to do is protect other journalists by not intervening.
Journalists in Congo00:02:02
That's interesting.
It doesn't, I don't think it applies to ever like a vulture eating a bitch.
I mean, it's a girl.
Just call a starving nine-year-old a bitch, bro.
Yo, I got to keep that same energy.
You know what I mean?
Do you?
Would anybody, would anybody be listening to that sentence at home going, oh, you're not going to call the starving nine-year-old been eaten by a vulture?
A bitch I got.
Oh, you soft.
Can I say one thing?
All right, go.
You right.
You bring up a valid point.
I can't argue what you're saying right now.
What you just did, I've been hoping my girl would do for about a year right now.
Just interrupt me and go, you right.
Oh, fuck, man.
You got to be a straight sociopath to go into those environments knowing you can't intervene at all.
You have to be a straight sociopath getting your perfect shot.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it really must do something to you.
It has to.
We have to interview.
You know what?
We know someone.
Isabel.
The woman who interviewed me for the French newspaper.
She was a journalist for Warzones.
So she would go to North Africa during their conflicts and that kind of stuff.
And she literally just survived out there by going around.
And she said that oftentimes these tribes were really excited about having journalists there.
There's an ego to them.
They want to be able to know and shit.
So they treat them pretty well.
But she was in Gaddafi's mansion the day after it got raided.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And but we should talk to her.
Like, what are the ethics?
Did you see anybody struggling and you just couldn't help them?
Yeah.
Oh, I would love to talk to her.
Yeah, we're going to have to get her on.
100%.
She's not doing shit.
Nobody doing shit.
We literally should start FaceTiming people in, huh?
Yeah.
FaceTime the most famous people you know and just see what happens.
Yes.
Ethics of Intervention00:02:31
You know what I mean?
Just set them up.
Just burn every single connection I have.
No, no, no.
Just ask them if they want to do it, but just, you know, just FaceTime at a random time and just be like, hey, you want to be on a podcast right now?
Nope.
Okay, cool.
Very fun game.
Talk to you later, bro.
And we don't need to tell them who they are unless they say yes.
Ah.
So if they say yes, then we put them on the screen.
If they say no, it's just a fun game of who said no.
That's a good idea a lot.
Yeah.
That's a kid.
And you could probably mute their voice whenever, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And we could also see how many people don't answer my FaceTime.
Which would be so funny.
It'd be so funny.
Nah, this guy definitely.
This is my boy.
It's potentially an hour of content right there.
And then you get back down to Alex.
Hey, I have the editing coming.
Oh, what's up, Balingon?
Good to see you, man.
Glad to have you on.
Actually, you know what?
It was better getting rejected by people.
Let's hang up.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Oh, fuck, guys.
How much time are we on, Mark?
Where are we at?
A little over like an hour 20.
Are you around there?
A little over that, yep.
Okay, cool.
So we got a couple more tings that we have to discuss.
And then I had one question.
Yes, please.
Well, one question, two questions, I guess, for you then.
I've been enjoying these combos, right?
This is nice, meaty combo.
Oh, this is beautiful.
Okay, go.
This is beautiful.
James Dolan, how'd you feel about it?
Dude, I did a long rant about it.
It was, it's weird.
It's like, you don't want anybody to die from this shit.
I don't mind, James Dolan.
I'm not even a Knicks fan.
I just know how I feel if Jerry Jones got it and died.
And I would feel bad because I wished it, but I wouldn't feel bad that it happened.
Yo, that's interesting.
That's the thing.
I don't want to feel responsible, but I'm not.
Yes, but you're not responsible.
But you feel like by wishing it, there's something immoral about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, it is.
Here's the thing.
If the Knicks got a new owner, that's awesome.
Yeah.
By any means, that's awesome that the Knicks have a new owner.
If James Dylan died before he had to, that's fucked up.
That is fucked up.
Right.
And I don't think being a shitty owner of an NBA team is worth dying.
Right.
I'm about to shit my pants.
We might need to pause because I'm about to shit my pants right now.
I got to go.
Okay.
You got 10 minutes or no?
I'm back in five because I got half of it out before the pod, and I knew there was a little bit more.
And you know what's a really weird feeling to wipe with gloves on?
Photoshopped Adonis Images00:15:59
Oh, yeah.
Because you don't know if you break through.
So let me ask you this: I got a pee.
Do I take my hazmat fully off?
Come with me.
Or do I just unzip in the thing and make it?
You just unzip and pull that fucking big old meaty Indian cock out.
Mark, you want to tell me I get a 15 minutes later.
And we back, baby.
And we back.
I'm going to be honest with you.
We were actually back before, but we didn't want it to be jumpy.
So we fake walked back into the frame.
That's what just happened.
So you guys know, no smoking mirrors whatsoever.
This is real.
It's not no documentary bullshit.
No smoking mirrors like Drake's IG.
Oh, shit.
All right.
So while we're taking some dumps, some simultaneous dumps, wait, did you dump?
Nah, I pissed.
Just mechanic pips.
Yeah.
You make it a peepy?
You sucking a dick?
Sucking a dick.
Sucking it.
God damn, bro.
Second idea.
You're the roadrunner.
Yeah.
So apparently a flagrant two asshole army member sent Mark a picture of Champagne Poppy.
Drake is out here photoshopping his images, bruh.
It is embarrassing.
And you know what?
It's one thing to go get the surgery.
It's one thing to get makeup.
It's one thing to dress in all the coolest clothes.
It's another thing to Photoshop your images to make it even more unrealistic than your already unrealistic life.
Yo, it's crazy, dude.
It should be almost illegal.
It's like, do one or the other, bro.
You either get the surgery or you get the photoshop.
So for clarity, someone showed us a picture of Champagne Poppy's Instagram.
And then a picture of Sophie.
It's Champagne Poppy.
And if you're watching the video, you can see it.
If you're listening, we'll describe.
So it's Champagne Poppy, Sophie Brissucks, whatever her name is.
I like Brissux.
Brissucks.
And then their kid.
It's all three of them.
He posted a picture and she posted the same picture.
Now, her picture has been Photoshopped.
Blatantly.
Or his.
Well, we know her as a blonde.
At first glance, her picture is overtly photoshopped because they both have blonde hair like Adonis.
I'm going to put a post picture real quick for us, Mark.
So it's Drake and Sophie with blonde hair to match Adonis' hair.
That's the joke.
This kid is blonde.
He looks like our kid now.
So now they made Drake kind of look like Eminem with the bleached blonde hair.
She has blonde hair and the kid has blonde curly hair.
They're a big, happy family.
Everything's fine.
But then if you look closer to the image, you notice that the hair is not the only thing that's been photoshopped.
And we don't know who's doing the photo shopping.
It might be both of them.
Now, click back quickly to Drake's image, the exact same image, but Drake's version.
If you notice, and we're going to do a back and forth click, I want you to pay attention to something.
You're probably already looking at the tits.
Look at the tits right now.
Now click back to Sophie's version.
Her tits are noticeably what, Aka?
Smaller.
Noticeably smaller.
Her stomach is noticeably flatter, but in Drake's image, it actually goes even further in.
Yeah, it's like concave.
It's concave.
So one would believe either she made her tits look smaller in her version or Drake made her tits look bigger in his version.
And here's why I think Drake did the photoshopping.
First of all, I'm a Drake hater.
I acknowledge that.
But also, if you look at Drake and you go back and forth between picture and picture, look, if you look at the Drake picture, Drake looked brolic.
Posture up, shoulders hot, traps looking huge.
And then if you look at the Sophie picture, suddenly he looks a lot skinnier.
Not that he's in bad shape, but he don't look as brolic.
His shoulders sit lower, got a little more slouch, less trap.
So I would assume she's not going to photoshop Drake to look less swole.
Unless she's spiteful.
So you're saying Drake photoshopped himself to look more muscular, have bigger shoulders, bigger traps, and made his Sophie Brissux look like she had bigger titties and a slimmer waist.
Yes.
Whoa.
That makes more sense to me than her making her titties look smaller, her stomach more natural, and him look skinnier.
I want you to, I'm hoping that this is not true what I'm thinking right now.
Switch images real quick.
Go again.
You look at Adonis?
I'm looking at Adonis.
Unfortunately, they photoshopped Adonis.
I don't think they touched him up.
They did.
His hair, that's the joke I think that she did.
They made his hair more blonde.
Yeah, for hers.
I think she like bleached everybody's hair blonde.
But wow, man.
She significantly reduces the size of her right titty.
I mean, I wonder, I really wonder if every single picture that they post or that Drake posts, he basically sends somebody.
He's like, yo, make this picture the best picture it can be.
You know, because I have a friend who will remain nameless, but he has somebody who photoshops his images before they hit Instagram.
He has just a kid who's just saying that's hysterical.
It is hysterical.
And it'd be even funnier if you knew who it was.
But basically, before they hit Instagram, they get photoshopped to basically bring out the color.
Not like to make the physique or anything look different, but to bring out the color.
And he needs it.
So shout out to you, FA.
But so basically, if you're a famous person and social media is so important to you, you would think that there is a vetting process for every picture.
It's not that just throwing a picture up like me and you.
They're sending it to their social media guy who makes sure that their skin looks immaculate, that their face looks even, everything looks perfect.
Wait, real quick, is his watch cut out of her?
No, it's just the image is cut.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean.
But I mean, everyone's doing this, though.
That's the thing.
Everybody is fucking doing it.
Every Instagram model.
Cops are doing it, though.
Because it behooves you.
Because if you Photoshop, I don't know.
You Photoshop your photos.
It costs you $100 a pick.
You make 10 times that by being hotter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I understand it for Instagram hoes whose only talent is to be hot.
Drake is, even from the biggest Drake hater, supremely talented.
Yeah.
What do you need to do this for?
Can we bring up her porn?
Is that weird to look at her kid and then go, can we bring up her porn?
But her porn, how was that?
It was, I don't think it wasn't even porn, right?
She just like rubbing oil on her body or something, right?
I have no idea.
I mean, I brought up back in the day, I watched it.
Go back again.
Go back again.
I just can't believe it, dude.
Come on, Drake.
His face shape is a little bit more full, too, in the Photoshop one.
His face looked a little bit skinnier in the her version.
A little more like stretched out.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, what a shame.
It can't be the case.
Fellas, please stop Photoshopping your images.
Yo, rappers, auto-tune, not FaceTune.
Come on, man.
You can't do this, man.
Just stop it.
You realize how much harder you're making it on yourself?
You know, we can't do what women do, right?
Like, women had this, women had it perfect.
They're the only ones with pussies, and we had to fuck them.
And they got so competitive, they started shaving their pussies and waxing this and adding fucking eyelashes.
They're just making their life more difficult trying to have a competitive advantage versus each other, right?
Yeah.
It's like free market capitalism hit pussy and then it never looked back.
And now they have to go through all this bullshit that they put on themselves.
If we stripped everything, everyone went back to normal, you're going to get the same guys.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like that girl that puts on all the makeup when she goes out, you're not going to trick a guy for more than a night.
Yes.
Right?
You're going to trick him one night.
The next morning he's going to see your face on his face and he's going to be like, okay, I'm not going to holler at that girl anymore.
So you're still going to end up with the guy you're supposed to be with, the guy that accepts you for who you are.
Because at the end of the day, you're going to have to wake up with who you are.
So cut the shit out.
If everybody just goes, yo, we're not doing it anymore.
And it's done.
Nothing changes.
Yo, all we ever had to work on before was our personality.
That's it.
Be funny.
Be charming.
It's not that hard.
Yes.
That's not an hour in the gym four times a week and eating fucking steamed broccoli and chicken breast.
That's just shitting on each other to the point that you sharpen your tool.
Sharpen it.
That's it.
It was so easy.
Stop thinking ugly girls don't get laid.
There's Irish people born every day.
Why?
Why?
You're going to get laid.
You're going to find someone that appreciates you, respects you, loves you.
We're all holding ourselves up to this ridiculous fucking standard.
We got to stop it.
Maybe that's one thing the coronavirus helped.
Yo.
There's no more makeup.
No, you're done.
Ain't no point.
When you're masked up, there's no more makeup.
Mask on.
And we're going to be so fucking excited to see one another.
We're not going to care if you have extra long, curly eyebrows.
Oh, yeah.
Or fucking mascara or any of that shit.
We're not going to care.
But this is girls' opportunity.
As soon as they get, as soon as we're allowed outside, they're all going to get dolled up.
They've been waiting.
They have been waiting.
They have been waiting.
But we don't have to feed into that.
We don't have to recreate that on our end as guys.
I know.
You're doing fucking crunches all the whole time you're in quarantine.
No, we're going to look like shit coming out.
But I guess what I'm saying to girls is like, we're fucking hungry, hungry hippos, bro.
We are ready to go.
Literally, you could walk outside in the exact same thing you've been wearing the entire quarantine.
We're going to take it.
100%.
We're starved for it.
You don't got it.
Do you think post-quarantine, the pussy levies will open?
Do girls want to get fucked?
Like, will it be wild?
If you're a single guy right now, 100%.
Do you think game's going to be new level?
New level, but I also think women are going to understand the importance of a relationship.
Like, those girls are just like, I'm going to fuck whoever, and, like, I'm going to be a whore and being a whore is fun and all that kind of shit.
Like, you can do that when society is great and money is great and your job's guaranteed.
Like, free sex and frivolousness sexually.
Yeah, Weezy bored sex.
In luxury.
Yeah.
Like, all these hoes are bored out their mind now.
What's Weezy doing?
Bored?
Nothing.
Chilling?
Nah, she might be in Mexico or some shit.
But if not, like, all these girls who are like single, but they're hoeing, they're bored out their fucking mind right now.
Whole life only works in the first world in luxury.
If you got any sort of struggle whatsoever, like if a hurricane comes and tears apart your fucking house every year, you're going to want a man to help you put that shit back together.
Ain't no hoes in the fucking Caribbean, yo.
Yo, relationships are great in crisis time.
Fat, and most people live in crisis.
Yeah, you're right.
Like all these feminists mad quiet now, huh?
Oh, you're right.
Real quiet.
All these bitches proud that they can't cook.
Where you at now?
You know what I mean?
Besides being a nuisance to your fucking man, your man is finding out exactly how useful you are when shit hits the fan, yo.
Bruh.
Bruh.
You know what I mean?
Bruh.
And that's true.
This is mostly human history.
It's just struggle and trying to survive.
That's why monogamy was important back in the day.
It's how you survived.
It's how the kids survived.
Yeah.
Hey, bro.
Protect this kid.
Hey, bro.
You got multiple families and shit from different women.
That might be hard to handle.
You can only rebuild one house at a time, yo.
If you got multiple families in quarantine, it's a rap.
Son.
Shelter at home.
Which home?
Which home?
You better know.
Fashion.
Check shit in their pants right now.
Shit.
For real, I think we might come out of this a little different, bro.
People might, women might get like a reality check out of this.
They might be like, whoa, this whole life is not for me.
Whoa, this free sex shit.
Oh, that only works when things are good.
Oh, it absolutely sucks.
Oh, I understand the value of monogamy.
You want to have someone.
Even if that someone isn't the person you're going to marry, it's nice to have someone right now.
You self-isolated years ago.
You built this.
Hey.
Hey.
Man, we need to call a hoe.
We need to call hoe and see if she wants to be redeemed, bro.
If she's done with this life.
Going to do a whole food shop alone to cook for nobody.
Yo.
Fighting off fucking animals at the grocery store alone.
Hey.
Hey, you're not going through your toilet paper.
It's just you.
You know what I'm saying?
You order in from Sugarfish a couple times.
That's exciting.
Eventually, you just eat sugar fish alone.
Come on now, yo.
Come on now.
Did you already talk about how all the sugar daddies are going to die?
From Corona.
Oh, fuck.
So now their sugar daddies are dead.
Now you got, now you just sugar, huh?
Yo, these IG thoughts, they gonna be taking a lot of domestic pictures all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Here's Cincinnati.
You literally.
We got a great zoo.
You are flued out.
Yo.
You know what I'm saying?
All these bitches are flued out, bro.
You're not getting flu out.
You're not flued out.
You're not flued out of your lifestyle, bro.
It's a wrap for you, hoes.
It's so true.
It's over.
The gig is up.
These hoes are going to be taking pictures with baby tigers and the tiger behind a cage.
And it is geotag San Diego Zoo.
That's it, bro.
Oh, man.
It's going to be hard out here.
We got to call some hoes and ask how they're coping through this shit, man, because it's lonely in these streets.
A lot of FaceTime.
You know, you can't FaceTime?
That married guy you were fucking because he's with his wife who knows how to cook.
He ignoring you.
He probably blocked your fucking sugar by now.
Block.
My chin out?
I mean, dude, this is absurd.
Is this shit in my eyes?
This shit feel like.
You're bad a COVID mask, dog.
The COVID mask even smaller.
I think it's for kids.
I think I got a kid COVID mask.
You got that shit.
That shit really don't fit me, dog.
I mean, you got to respect Bane a little bit.
What this guy endured.
What this guy endured, bro.
Wearing that dumb shit over his fucking face this whole time.
Anyway, man, prayers out to you, hoes, man.
Hopefully you change your life and realize the value of, you know, being with a man and cooking for him and looking after him and nurturing him.
And loving somebody.
And loving on somebody.
Besides yourself.
Besides yourself, man.
That is what you're here for.
Literally.
What you are put on this planet to do, what you've evolved to do for millions of years are all those things.
So you might realize why, you know, you might realize.
And matter of fact, maybe take this time, learn how to do all those shits that you shun.
All you lonely feminists out there, take this time to learn how to be a woman again.
It might be hard for some of you.
Why?
Well, no, their hair just growing out.
You know, I know you got a little short-ass haircut like me.
Let that shit grow out.
Be a woman again.
That's all COVID is doing is just letting the feminist march bitches, letting all that pink hair grow out.
Where you marching, bitch, you can't go nowhere.
Exactly.
You in the house.
March to the kitchen, bitch.
Learn how to cook some pancakes.
Bare minimum.
Pancakes, eggs, bitch.
Start with one meal.
Yo, you better take up bacon.
Hey.
The least you could do.
You got time on your hands.
Get your life right, man.
Get you a man to bring home the bacon and you cook that motherfucker.
Let's go.
Marching to the Kitchen00:01:54
Guys, this has been another episode of Flagrant 2.
We love y'all.
I'm Andrew Schultz, Akash Singh, Mark Gagnon.
We'll see you on Patreon, man.
Love y'all over there on Patreon.
We'll see you this Friday.
Episodes come out a little late because we're doing them day of.
That's why these apps are a little late.
We do them day of so that we can react to anything that happened the day before at night.
So they come out a little bit later, but...
They're more up to date.
They're more up to date, man.
And you know, we need that hot take on Carol Baskin.
You know what I mean?
Robert Moore might be out there tweeting some hotness that we need to share with y'all.
I'm going to be back next week with a way.
I'm going to wear a baseball mitt.
I'm going to attach a motherfucking Velcro to a baseball mitt because I think that's the only thing that's going to cover my face.
Yo, figure out how to rig that COVID mask, please.
I might figure that out.
I'm going to make a longer COVID mask.
I'm going to figure some shit out.
I'm going to be ready for Patreon, though.
Real talk.
All right.
Everybody pray for Akash and his girl because they about good as dead.
Mark's girl is literally a nurse, right?
She's a nurse, so Mark about to get this shit.
Listen, they trying to take everybody out, okay?
They trying to take everybody out.
I was too cavalier this whole time being like, everybody gonna get it.
What fuck can you do?
Yeah, you were a little too cavalier.
You were a little too cavalier, but they taking your ass out and they taking your ass out.
You know what I mean?
But let me tell you something about Flagrant 2.
Let me tell you something about this movie.
The black man ain't the first man to die in this movie, okay?
I got him safely quarantined for when these motherfuckers die.
Alex will come back and save the day.
Anyway, bro, we love y'all, man.
We'll see you on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash flagrant too.
If you want to join in and see what's going on over there, continue the flagrancy on your Fridays because you know you ain't got shit to do on a Friday anyway.