Andrew Schulz argues humans uniquely reject bestiality due to a non-existent animal concept of consent, contrasting instinctual predation with intent-based human morality. He explores whether sexual acts are defined by timing rather than intent, citing Bobby Lee kissing Andrew Santino's genitals as proof that brief contact can define orientation. The segment concludes with offensive remarks comparing disabled individuals to "retards" who possess superior kindness and strength, suggesting a powerlifting competition judged by non-disabled people before promoting the Patreon page. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Timing Overrides Intent00:09:17
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
This is a Patreon episode.
You already know what the fuck it is.
Okay, we back in New York, back in the studio.
Okay, Flagrant Thought of the Week.
We got to start out.
I had this thought.
You've been slipping on Flagrant Thought, no more.
Oh, no, no, no more.
It's coming back.
100%.
We got to start it off.
We start everything off with the flagrancy.
I think that humans are the only animal that isn't down with bestiality.
And I think that because, like, we look at BC Alley, we're like, how could you?
Like, that's the most repulsive thing.
That's the worst thing ever, right?
It's like bestiality.
You know, how?
Being gay.
You know how wild it would be to an animal?
I'm joking about the being gay thing.
I was hoping somebody would listen, but if I didn't address that, everybody.
Because I was about to say something wild, too.
We're only in Atlanta for a weekend, guys.
If animals saw us, do you know how shocked they would be that we asked for consent?
Oh, yeah.
Was that your flagrant?
No, Oh, yeah.
Like, bestiality is like...
That's the beginning.
Like, bro, y'all asking?
Consent is something that only exists in the human kingdom.
Like, the animal kingdom is like, you eat what's there.
They don't consent to eating.
Like, you ever seen an alligator eat the dog when the dog's barking at the alligator?
And the alligator is, that's cute.
And then just fucking chomps him up, drags him back in.
Yo, the animal kingdom looking at us like, y'all, the human queendom.
Real talk.
We're a queendom, dog.
Y'all some bitches out here.
We're a queendom, bro.
Yo, no respect.
Anyway, so I was thinking about this bestiality shit.
The dog will hump your leg, right?
Oh, yeah.
Now, here's the thing where it's coming down to.
Maybe they don't know that we're not a dog.
So maybe bestiality is an intent thing.
Animals aren't smart enough to know they're not fucking one of their kind.
You gotta know, right?
Like you see a big ass, tall ass dog walking on two legs.
Yeah.
That can't be a dog.
That's gotta be something else.
But do they know it's something else?
Like, do you think a shark knows that a dolphin isn't a shark?
Yes.
Yes.
What about a fish?
What about a big grouper?
You know how they have those giant groupers that look like a shark?
You think a grouper doesn't know that it's not a shark?
I don't know how fish have sex, to be honest with you.
Like, is there penetration involved or is it more of like a fertilization process?
That's a good question, yo.
I thought they just shoot off into the sky and then they definitely not do it in the sky.
No, I mean, in the water.
You know what I mean?
And then the eggs shoot off into the water.
And then they might need it.
They just gagged on it.
They jerk off in the water.
And then if somebody slips on it, they slip off.
Okay.
So then maybe it's an intent thing.
Yeah.
So I started to think about this intent thing with BC Alley.
When we fuck animals, we're not going, oh, you are an animal?
Right?
There's no like, somebody sees you fucking horse.
You're like, is that a horse?
And then you find out it's a horse, right?
We're going, I want to fuck that horse.
I want to fuck, like, some girls let snakes crawl in their pussy.
Have you seen this before?
Oh, no.
Nope.
You guys haven't seen this on porno?
Nope.
No.
That's a thing.
Girls will let snakes go in their pussy.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I was wondering how you got on this BC Alley dick to begin with.
Well, no.
That's probably how that wasn't it.
I was at my girl's.
It was about my girl's place.
I was fucking her dog.
And I was like, this is, this is, I'm doing this on purpose.
I'm not making a mistake, right?
It's a tiny little dog.
You use it like a flashlight, bro.
You just grab it and then you just.
Dogs like that should get fucked.
Bro, happy.
Happy.
I've been looking at happy.
What are you asking for?
What type of dog is it?
Multi-poo.
Multipoo.
Dude, when you were going to say Maltese, I was about to be like, gay, and then you added.
Yeah.
You got to lean in, yo.
Multi-poo?
Multi-poo.
You got to lean in.
Multipoo sounds like a kid you adopt for five cents a day.
You know what I mean?
Multipoo.
Multipoo be raining you letters.
I love multipoo.
I love this kid.
You're like, yo, where you get all this loose leaf multipoo?
Son, we be cuddling.
I love this little dog.
Anyway, flesh light.
Yeah.
Problem is, you can knock out some of his teeth.
It's a little bit because they have weak teeth.
Does your multipoo have weak teeth?
I'm sure.
They have weak teeth.
I'm sure.
Anyway, I wasn't fucking my girl's dog.
Just to clarify for any of you fucking animals out there.
But I did start to think we make the decision to fuck the dog.
Yeah.
Intent-based.
So I start to go, oh, is everything based on intent?
If you're intending to do something, does that make it the thing?
Right?
Interesting.
And I go, this is the second part of the flagrant thought.
How long can you touch your boy's dick before it becomes gay?
I think that's an intent-based thing.
That's what I thought.
And then I pulled back.
So if I slap your dick with the outside of my fingers, right?
Not with the wet, not the pads of the fingers where you have a fingerprint.
Yeah.
With the nail part.
Right.
Not gay.
Is that how you got those cuts in your hands?
It's a big old dick, dog.
No, it's kickboxing.
And now I'm a badass.
But if I slap the dick, right?
Not gay.
Right?
Tap, tap, not gay.
Nobody's going to be.
Is your intent to fuck with the person and maybe hurt them?
Or is it, I just want to feel his dick real quick.
Either way, you don't know.
I could literally.
Who are you asking, not gay?
Because if you're asking a white guy, no.
You're asking a black guy, yes.
Yeah, but like if I go, ah, you're going to go, oh, that's white guys are crazy.
No, I'm going to punch you with your fucking gun.
No, you won't.
You know white people enough.
No, no, no.
You know white people enough where I could tap it.
If you're asking if it's gay, it's not gay.
If you're axing if it's gay, it's gay.
Now, but you know, that's white boy fun.
You've been around white boys fun.
Yeah, white boys with white boys.
You've never slapped my dick.
I could slap your dick and it's like.
I'll slap your dick right now.
No, you won't.
If there wasn't a desk right there, I would go and slap your dick with the back of my fingers and you would see how not gay it is.
It could reach past his desk.
I like that.
You'd like it.
It could reach back.
Suck it the fuck out of my son.
Give me that.
The point is, you could slap a dick.
It's okay.
Now, I think it's a timing issue.
It's not intent.
Now, if I went like this to your dick, right?
I pressed it like you're trying to get in the old iPhone, remember?
Okay.
Right?
Remember that one, right?
If I went like that, if I just went, boop, like if I just tap the top of it, I still think it could be gay.
Not gay.
This motion is a little gay, but if I just, if I, or even better, and this is intent.
If I just went like this and I was just like, I'm in front of you, you're behind me.
Ball tap, dick tap, pads of the fingers, not gay.
But if I went in there and I and IPhone opened it, gay.
Yeah.
Even if it's for a joke.
There's a point at which timing overrides intent.
Overrides intent.
And that's if it's long enough.
There's a point at which it's enough time no matter what your intent was, it's gay.
It's gay.
Or.
Or.
It might not even be time because Bobby Lee on Twitter, I saw him kissing.
That's what started this conversation.
And that shit is gay, even though it was a quick smooch.
Okay.
Bobby Lee kissed Cheeto Santino, Andrew Santino.
Yeah.
Kissed his dick.
They're doing a podcast together.
But, but no, no.
So Santino brings out his dick.
Looks like he has a fucking root on him, too.
Did you see it?
No, I thought.
I didn't zoom in.
I thought it was a nut.
I thought he took a nut out and like.
That's how bulbous it was.
Looked like a hook-nosed shylock was in his pants, dog.
Dude, he takes it in the underwear.
He just pulls out the bulge, and then Bobby Lee does this.
He kisses it, but how you kiss someone when you meet them in Europe?
He doesn't go straight on to the lips.
He goes, He gives a little, hey, this is my friend, Sophia.
Oh, nice to meet you, Sophia.
If you rub a man's dick on your face like it's cashmere, like that's gay, yo.
I just want to stroke it against my cheek.
That's why they always got coronavirus.
Stop fucking kissing shit.
You don't need a kiss, Bobby Ree.
Come on, Bobby Ree.
Bro, actually called colonavirus.
Colonavirus.
He's actually called colonization.
It's called Colonna Vila.
How they name it some shit they can't even say.
That don't make no fucking sense, bro.
Dude, man.
How unfortunate is Shane Garris that he didn't have his shit come out now?
Because if what he said came out during the coronavirus, you know, a lot of people would be like, fuck them in, and you really can't be out here killing us all.
I ain't eating everyone neuter until this coronavirus is taken care of.
Son.
Anyway, a timing intent thing.
Retard Handshake Competition00:03:03
Yeah.
I'm starting to think timing is everything.
You're doing flirty shit with a girl.
She gets uncomfortable.
You stop.
I think it's okay.
Yeah.
You keep on going past.
That's the problem.
Timing is important.
That's a good point.
Timing is important.
That's huge.
Timing overrides intent.
Timing is paramount.
That's the word.
It's the most important.
Is that what paramount means?
Yeah, it's the most important.
Paramount means.
Paramount.
Yeah.
I thought that's when you fuck like a crippled girl.
Paramount is like the top.
Oh.
So paramount importance.
I thought it was like paraplegic and you mount.
You know what I mean?
So that you paramount one of these bitches.
No, that's called boring.
For both of you.
She's like, are you in?
Who the fucking want that?
Yo.
See, oh, bro, no, that's the ultimate dick.
Like, she's paralyzed from waist down, but it goes so far she feels it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anybody want to take that test?
That's a hell of a litmus test.
Andrew Santino, bring that big old fucking dick to the special Olympics and give these girls feeling again.
Give them something special.
Yo, imagine you go so deep.
Yeah.
It goes to the feeling.
Yo, bro.
They feel nothing on lips, labia, clitoris.
Son, in here, are people paralyzed from the waist down?
Do they have more feeling from the waist up than a normal person?
The same way you're deaf so you see better.
You know what I mean?
You mean like how retards are kinder and stronger?
Like they can't do calculus, but they make up for calculus by just by being so fucking kind and strong.
Like, I don't know how to, like, I don't know how to do the math to build that house, but I'll just match this wood together until that shit is built, babe.
If you move it, I can just lift your fucking house off its foundation.
Take it where you want to go.
You see a house being moved and you're like, man, four retards just lifted that shit up.
We need a retard powerlifting competition.
Son.
Oh, that would be amazing.
How is that not in the Special Olympics?
Yo, bro.
That would be amazing.
Or just a retard handshake competition, right?
So you just get non-tards, right?
You have non-tards and tards, and then the non-tards just go, hello, nice to meet you, right?
And then they shake your hand, and then you judge afterwards by the imprint left in your hands.
It might be the first time when somebody pretends to eat the metal that they actually eat the metal.
Dude, they bite it.
It's like, where's the chocolate?
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
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