Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh navigate a chaotic episode marked by Akash's first marijuana use, a severe back injury, and a debate on the Manchester drugging case. They dissect Richard Sherman's defensive reputation, Odell Beckham Jr.'s legal troubles, and Conor McGregor's 40-second UFC victory over Donald Cerrone. Amidst discussions on college education versus self-taught skills and fears of Alzheimer's, the hosts reveal their intoxication, blending sports analysis with personal anecdotes before promoting upcoming comedy shows and CBD products. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Let's Spark This Up00:04:17
What up, everybody?
Welcome to Flavorant 2.
No easy buckets.
We out here.
Akash is going to smoke weed today.
So we're going to do it.
Hanger.
You know what I mean?
Let's spark this up.
Everybody who's at home listening.
Matter of fact, if you're at home listening, you were going to spark something up and you were just letting it get, you know, letting them get a little toasty before.
Why don't you light it up with us?
Make sure you got some food on the way, too.
We got some food on the way as well for munchy purposes.
Whoa.
That shit lights up wonderfully.
Now, Akash has never smoked weed before.
No.
Now, right now we have real live marijuana.
Now, ashtray.
Oh, I think we can use that blue shit right there.
Yeah, usually.
That's usually a rolling tray, but we can use it as well.
For ash as well.
I don't know exactly how to do it.
Anyway, guys.
Elon Musk can do it.
If Elon Musk can do it, we can do it.
Now, in the meantime, I got to tell you guys something right before we get to Akash smoking, because that's going to be a historic moment.
He smokes like a professional.
Fuck it.
I'm going to add a fourth show for the special.
Whoa.
I wasn't.
I wasn't sure.
You know, it was the same thing as Town Hall, where I was like hesitant about adding another show.
And then, you know what?
I hit up a guy who it looks really cool.
Hold on, wait for it.
Don't do it yet.
And I hit up Rogan.
You know, I try not to bug Rogan a lot, but when I really needed his advice for something, I go to him and I ask his advice.
Here, give me that.
Just give me that because you're being too distracted while I'm trying to do something fucking important.
Sorry for the weed, motherfucker.
Okay.
So, and I was like, should I do it?
Should I add the fourth show?
Because I want to do it and I want to film all four.
And a lot of people were reaching out.
They said they were flying in.
They couldn't get tickets, this, that, the other.
So we said, fuck it.
We're going to add another show.
It's going to be Sunday.
So there'll be two shows Sunday.
Those tickets go on sale.
When are they going on sale?
Thursday, 10 a.m.
Okay?
Thursday, 10 a.m.
DArewSchells.com.
You can get them there.
Get him anywhere.
I appreciate y'all so much.
Go get those motherfuckers.
Sell that bitch out like you did the other three.
And let's make some magic, man.
I'm excited to film this fucking special.
I really am.
Yeah, thank y'all so much.
Okay, now let's get to this smoking weed thing.
Akash, here you go.
This is Akash's first pull.
Have you ever inhaled anything in your life?
I had one puff of a cigarette.
What?
My dad used to smoke.
Right.
And I think I thought it'd look cool or something.
He was like, I want you to do this.
And he told me how to do it.
He said, make like a kissing motion and then inhale real deep.
And I thought my fucking chest was going to cave in.
You sure he was talking about smoking?
So wait.
But you had asthma as a kid, right?
I still do.
And your dad let you smoke a cigarette with asthma.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what's up.
That's cool.
That's great parents.
Yeah, honestly.
I learned a lesson real quick.
Take a hit of this shit right now.
Go for it.
Pull it.
Okay.
Now, inhale.
No, no, no.
You didn't inhale.
So you go like this.
You pull.
Yep.
Don't waste all your breath.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then after you pull, suck it down.
Oh, I'm going to cough my dick off.
That's okay.
It's okay.
You got virtual.
That's how marijuana works.
There it is.
Now.
Oh, the big boy.
Big boy guys out of here.
Don't spill on the fucking carpet.
How does it feel?
Yo, I feel great.
Now, if we're being honest to listeners right now, this is CBD.
Nah, it's got THC, though.
But it might have a little THC in it, but it's CBD.
I need some CBD.
I pulled my whole fucking back out.
Shout out to Raddix, by the way.
You know, Raddix is CBD, a flagrant, flagrant suit.
We don't play around.
We're going to tell you more about them later.
But, guys, I have like a horrible back injury.
I pulled my back.
I can barely.
How did that happen?
Son, I don't know.
Being 36.
That's how it happened.
36 years old.
How?
That's how it happened.
Bro, I pulled it a little bit.
CBD vs THC Confusion00:15:00
My girl was putting me through a workout class in a hotel gym because she knows all these exercises in a row.
And I realize I've only learned like four exercises in my life, which are dumbbell curls, the tricep extensions, bench press, and then abs.
Okay.
And then you be squatting, though.
Oh, no, squats.
I know how to squat too.
And I kind of know how to do the one where it's not a squat.
You just bend over.
Deadlift?
Just bend over.
Deadlift.
Deadlifts.
You just bend over.
Oh, deadlifts.
You know that one.
I don't even know what that works, honestly.
Whenever I'm doing that exercise, no muscle hurts.
Everything on your, like the back of your legs, your back, all that type of stuff.
Really?
Yeah.
And I'm just gonna.
That's how I fucked up my back.
It's deadlifts.
Deadlifting?
I can't squat for shit.
My hips are mad tight, but I can actually deadlift more than you would think I would.
And if your form is bad, that's how you fuck your backup back.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know how to do any of this shit.
It also looks like this smoke is going nowhere.
And can you even see us at home at all?
Yeah, yeah.
You can see us?
Absolutely.
Anyway, so I get out of the plane.
We're flying back to New Orleans.
I cannot even walk.
I can't even walk.
It's that.
Your girl had to push you through the tarmac and the fucking.
Thank God no.
But my girl had to do this.
When the Uber arrived at her apartment, her apartment building has two big glass doors.
One big glass door and another big glass door.
She had to open both of the glass doors for me while taking all of our bags in.
Oh, wow.
And I had to look at her male doorman.
I was like, what a pussy.
Yo, 100%.
Right.
And I'm a superhero to the doorman because I was on Subway Creatures and I just lost all the fucking dude.
Dorman, they love Subway Creatures, bro.
No respect at all from her whatsoever from her doormen for the months that she's been in the building.
I'm on Subway Creatures once, and then all of her Russian or like Baltic doormen are like, I saw you.
That was a big look, though.
Jay-Z Subway guy.
I know you.
That's like a step below being on Humans of New York.
Son, I'm getting there.
I'm working my way up.
Humans of New York is like a fucking, that's a bucket list.
Way more of my friends congratulated me on that than like selling out Town Hall.
Like I had friends that didn't even come to Town Hall, but the second I'm on Subway Creatures, they're hitting me up, like, bro, you made it.
You made it.
So I can't even move, and I want to come do the podcast, right?
So my girl orders me a masseuse to come over, right?
What kind of masseuse?
Male masseuse.
That's what's up.
Okay.
Way far.
Not there to fuck around.
I respect it.
Six, four.
Violently gay.
Violently gay.
Son, the guy rolled.
I think it had rollerblades.
The guy rolled in with his fucking thing and everything like that.
Right?
He goes, Hi, guys.
Hey.
Okay, so who's going to get the massage?
And I was like, he said, me.
Now, oh, fuck.
I said my girl's name.
Doesn't matter, whatever.
Fine.
That's her name.
Bleep it.
Anyway, so he's in there, and my girl's going to do a workout class.
Yeah.
I did not want my girl to leave.
You alone with this man.
It's not that he's gay.
It's that if he wanted to rape me, I couldn't defend myself.
That has something to do with him being gay.
But yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Well, yeah.
Also, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's my ego because it's like, I'm already on my stomach.
Like, what are you saying?
You're not going to want to rape me like this.
Like, the idea that the idea that you wouldn't be attracted at all.
Son, hey, look, a gay dude gonna look at naked me and not want to fuck.
That's what I'm saying.
My ego can't tolerate.
My ego cannot tolerate.
I had my bling on.
Son, I had my bling on, right?
I had no shirt.
Everything was going.
The guy's like, you wear as many clothes as you want.
I'm like, oh, God.
And I looked at my girl and I was like, I was like, what time is your class?
And then she's like, it's 2:30.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So you're going to hang him for a little before you go.
I was doing everything I could so she would just stay there and at least watch me get raped.
Oh my god.
You don't need because there's nothing she could really do in that situation.
And son, she left me and it was just me and him.
And he goes, and I was like, just focus on that one part of my back.
This guy is pulling down my fucking underwear a little bit.
Hey, yo.
He went all the way up my leg, cut my whole butt cheeks and cape down.
Like he was really going for it.
Working it.
He was really working for it.
It looked like glittery lotion.
Say again?
Did he use like glittery lotion?
Son, I don't know.
I can't look at my body.
I can't look at my back.
I can't even turn around.
But there is a point where it's like, I understand that fear that women have.
That constant fear that that shit could happen.
Because I could not defend myself from this guy.
Oh, yeah.
And he's got like an amazing grip.
Like, if he really wanted to, I mean, like, if he wanted to hold me down, he wanted to have to respect it.
If he took two hands around your waist as a rap teacher.
That's why.
And I thought about the whole way through.
And that's why immediately I was like, hey, can you just put on the lotion first?
Because I figured I figured if it was lotioned up, I figured if it was lotioned up, I could slide out and I don't know, wriggle around on the ground or something.
I couldn't do that much movement, but I'd wriggle around on the ground or something and then I could get away.
And I listen, I know anybody listening now that's like, that's an incredible ego.
You're not going to get raped by your masseuse because he's part of like a masseuse company and he's not going to risk it.
He's not going to risk it all.
Yo, Uber.
You don't know what I look like.
Yeah.
Ubers be raping.
Son, that's a big ass company.
I think you should as well.
Yeah, light that up again.
Okay, exactly.
If an Uber can rape, a Lyft can rape, a masseuse can rape.
And I'm doing all the work for him.
I took off my own clothes.
I even said this.
He was going down real quick.
Yo, you really were asking for it.
That's what I was asking for.
What were you wearing?
Son, I was wearing white underwear.
I guarantee you could see a doo-doo stand through them.
They're very clear.
They're very clear.
Now, here's the thing.
And this is what I thought.
This is when he took it to the next level, because I think he thought I was flirting a little bit.
He was massaging my legs and he kept bumping into my socks.
And I don't know why I said this, but it's the gayest thing I've ever said in my life.
I go, you can take the socks off.
Son, you don't have another man pull your socks off as a grown-up?
As a kid?
Okay, maybe.
But as a grown-up?
Nah, never.
Son, that was the gayest part of the whole message.
Now, this is key.
This is key on how gay it could have been.
Okay, go.
Did he roll the socks off or did he pull from the toe?
Son, he took them all with his mouth.
That's something I thought was mad weird.
Like a retriever, bro.
If he rolled them off, he could have rolled them off very elegantly, like a stocking.
But if he pulled it off by the toe, that's not good.
But if he rolled it off like a stocking, very seductively, he started at my calf and rolled it off.
Wow.
For sure, yeah.
You were kind of asking for it.
I was asking for it.
You were flirting real tough.
I was flirting.
And dude, the problem is when your head's in that donut, you can't see anything.
So all you can do is think.
And I was trying to think how I would like just, I would protect myself.
You know what I mean?
Like what I would throw at him, how I would, you know.
That's it.
Just take it.
Son, not only is he more powerful, not only is his grip more strong, not only can I not defend myself, I'm lubed up.
Yeah.
He's rubbing the lotion behind my butt already.
Son of you looking wet.
Son, I'm looking wet.
Yo.
And I'm making sounds that's turning him on.
I'm like, you were moaning.
I wasn't sure.
Son, I was moaning.
Dead ass.
You can't help but moan, though.
He's hitting all your soft spots.
He knows how your body works.
He literally was like, he would say this to me.
He would literally go, Do you want it harder?
And you said, Yes.
Yeah.
Because I'm trying to get this knot out so I can come to Flagrant and I can do what I do.
That's how much Andrew loves the podcast.
He got sacrificing, bro.
I'm out here sacrificing.
It's crazy that this happened Thursday before we left New Orleans.
I went to RA or Air Ancient Baths.
It's over here in like Soho, someplace.
Yeah, I heard about this.
This is a big thing.
Yeah.
Popping.
So relaxing.
It's beautiful.
You go to all these different water situations and then you're going to massage at the end.
Yeah.
I fell asleep during the massage.
My masseuse was also a guy, too.
Right.
That's dangerous, big.
I could have been sexually assaulted, and I have no idea.
I might be a victim.
Son, can I tell y'all a story?
Like, I might be a victim, and I just don't know.
Can I tell y'all a story?
And I wanted to do a bit about this, but I don't know if it will come out.
So fuck it.
But FA sent me this story, right?
There's this Asian dude in like Manchester, England, that rape like 200 men, right?
Little Asian guy.
That's what's up.
Oh, I thought it was like, isn't that that big, hairy guy that was in the newspaper?
Little Asian guy.
Wow.
Indonesia.
Oh, I did see this.
Rape 200 men.
I'm going to break down the whole story for you.
Okay.
This is what he would do.
He'd find them drunk going home, right?
After the bar.
You want to pass it that way?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to throw it.
No, don't throw it.
Okay.
I can't really.
Okay.
So 200 men, right?
Eden, listen up because it could be you.
I have a picture of him.
Indonesia.
Okay.
200 men.
Don't put the picture.
That's fine.
Okay.
He's in Manchester.
What he would do is wait for guys to be drunk.
I was telling Akash about this.
Wait for guys to be drunk walking home.
Okay.
They'd be wasted.
And he'd be like, hey, man, you look shit face.
Do you want to just like charge your phone at my crib and then just kind of hang out?
And the guys would be like, oh my God, you're so nice.
Right?
He'd drug them when they got to the crib.
They'd pass out.
He'd rape them.
Right?
This is crazy.
Rape them, right?
They wake up in the morning, don't know anything, right?
I'm going to take your phone away.
I'm not on the phone.
I'm going to take your watch away.
I'm not.
You found a way.
You found a way to.
It is unbelievable.
Tell the fucking story.
How much you can ruin rhythms.
It is a true gift that you have to ruin rhythms.
Holy shit.
I'm literally clicking these things off.
You look so much like a young Larry David to me right now.
Let's go.
It's unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
It's mind-boggling.
It's mind-boggling.
I'm shy.
I'm talking.
I'm trying to blame you.
There's no weed in that thing.
There's no tease.
I'm super fine.
There's no chance here.
So, so listen.
Listen.
Jasmine.
Jasmine, take the fucking watch away, please.
Was it a thoughtful gift?
He knows I'm taking it.
I'm just saving.
Why are you telling me?
Is there weed in this shit?
Because I'm low-key feeling a little bit.
Anyway, back to the guy raping guys.
Okay.
They go home.
They go.
He rapes them.
They wake up in the morning.
Phone is fully charged.
Gives them like some tea.
They go on with their day.
They think they met the nicest guy, right?
And obviously, we're joking around.
I'm like, that's Asian privilege.
Like, you can rape and nobody knows, et cetera.
Blah, blah, blah.
Little jokes.
Okay.
Years go by of him raping guys.
Years.
One guy wakes up during it.
That poor fucking guy.
Poor fucking guy.
Now, tells the police, they bring the guy in.
They look at his phone.
He's acting weird with his phone.
And they end up looking through his phone.
They find 200 guys that they've raped.
Now, maybe in a second.
Now, he has to, the police have to make a decision.
Okay.
And the decision they make is to call all the guys that he's fucked.
Do and tell them.
Call any of them.
Bro, this was a victimless crime until you told them.
Oh my God.
Think about it.
Not only was it a victimless crime, right?
Think about this.
You think this guy is the ideal immigrant?
Like, you're like, open the borders.
Like, bring more Indonesians in because not only did this guy take me in when I was drunk, he charged my fucking phone.
Like, you woke up the next day, fully hydrated, phone full battery.
Your ass doesn't hurt because he's Asian.
Nothing bad happened to you.
And statistically speaking, at least half of those people enjoyed it.
First of all, 50% of people are not gay.
I don't know where your stats are.
When are you from Atlanta?
I know you laugh.
This guy dressed in fucking magenta, talking about half of people are gay.
I'm saying a good percentage of the people was like, oh, you know what?
Some of those guys are like, some of those guys are upset they slept through it.
Right?
But, bro, you could have woke me up.
I would have been into it.
I would have thrown it back.
Now, think about it.
You received that call.
Are you pissed?
Yes.
Why the fuck would you tell me?
10,000%.
Isn't that the worst?
Like, what you first do if you're the cop, just test to see if he has HIV.
If he doesn't have fucking AIDS.
That's what you do.
You just shut the fuck up.
Also, if he doesn't have AIDS, that's a miracle.
I mean, I got butt-fucked 200 people.
Yeah, but can you go?
Does it reverse up you?
Does it reverse updates?
I'm sure both.
It's not only bottoms getting AIDS.
Yeah, they are.
Only bottoms get AIDS.
How do you get AIDS?
It travels up your dick.
It's an exchange of how good is this AIDS?
I mean, it's not AIDS.
It's not without an S. Speaking of someone who dresses like they have AIDS.
I fucked all Jesus AIDS, bro.
Because you look gay.
Because of the lavender.
I'm not saying you look like you got AIDS.
Because I got great brown skin and lavender pops off.
All I got to say is that outfit is low in T-cells.
Pretend like this shit don't pop off the screen, Alex.
It's looking beautiful.
It is looking beautiful.
It's like magic, like in a Magic Johnson.
He looks like that.
It is magical, bro.
He doesn't wear a lot of purple moths.
It's a rare one.
Right.
I am positive your girl got you that outfit.
Real talk.
Tight ass leggings.
Son, your immune system got nothing on that.
Bro.
It takes a lot of confidence to pull tight lavender motherfuckers.
And y'all just jealous.
That's all the way.
You're right.
We jealous.
We jealous.
Jealous of this, like a slang, these tight pants.
Anyway, back to this guy.
You find out that he doesn't have HIV, right?
It's done.
Nah, I want that call, son.
You want to know?
Nah.
Talk to me about why you want to know.
I could be pregnant.
I know you're Puerto Rican.
And it seems possible.
But there's no fucking way.
Nah, I want the call because if he did give me an STD and then I take that to my girl and now we just ruined my relationship.
What I'm saying is this.
Because she's going to believe.
She didn't think that you cheated.
And you did.
You just didn't do it willingly.
Yeah.
Right?
It's not cheating.
Yo, but that's.
That's what I'm saying.
This is a better question.
Would you rather, okay, Akash.
Would you, let's say you get raped by this Indonesian guy?
Yeah.
Right?
He got an STD.
Okay.
Would you rather tell your girl that you cheated with another girl and she gave you an STD?
Or that this guy fucked you and you got an STD?
Oh, shit.
That's what I'm saying.
I fuck every bitch this side of the Mississippi.
The STD Question00:06:34
That's what just happened.
I'm fucking all the women.
Can't your girl forgive you cheating with a girl?
Bro, with a dude?
She ain't gonna look at you the same ever.
Yo.
That's different, bro.
Best, yo.
You let that happen to you?
Yo, how are you going to tell your girl what to do?
And you got fucked in the ass.
And there's video by a small Asian man.
There's video.
Like the cops have seen it.
Oh, my God.
Like, that footage is the house.
So, wait, so did he, like, record all this?
Every single guy he recorded.
Poundtown.
Oh, that's a sickness.
That guy was fucking pounding them out, dude.
Seriously, I don't know about Poundtown for him.
It's probably more like Pound Village Town neighborhood.
But for real, it's a good dude.
That's him, bro.
Oh, my God.
He looks like Eden.
Son, you can't trust that motherfucker.
That guy inviting you up to his hotel with bleach blonde hair.
That's Andrew's Masseus.
Sons.
Nah, bro.
This nasty motherfucker.
Look at the pictures he's taking.
Looks like he just maybe he just thought it was a good date for him.
I mean, he's, yo, he's clearly gay, yo.
Yes.
So his argument was he never drugged the guys that he asked them to participate in his fetish, which was be passed out, pretend to be passed out while he fucks them.
It's a good defense.
Pretty good defense.
Great defense.
If you just contact one of the people and then they're going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah.
It's over.
Yo, what if all the guys were actually closeted and they didn't want people to know that they were willingly getting butt-fucked?
So they're like, nah, nah, he raped those.
He's raping.
He raped us.
Indonesian is like, what do you mean?
I charge your phone.
What are you talking about?
I ain't rape people.
What kind of nonsense?
Like, who would you really believe?
You believe that little Indonesian baby is capable of rape of 200 men or there's 200 dudes that want to try it out.
And he is the trial.
Like, if you're going to try getting butt-fucked, it would be a little Indonesian man.
It's like the first time you go bowling, use the little things on the screen.
You can't change the bumpers.
The bumpers, that's a bumper dick.
That's a gay bumper dick.
Gay.
Gay bumper dick.
Gay bumper dick sounds like Larry David's friend.
But no?
I mean.
You see how dick it's been wild.
I was like, oh, it's like real.
Damn, son.
Same size as that penguin.
Guys, listen.
Antonio Brown is still out there acting crazy.
I don't know why y'all are going so nuts about this shit, man.
I told you, yo, you know how crazy Antonio Brown is?
Antonio Brown.
I literally have the video of Antonio Brown, right?
Yeah.
That you guys just showed me.
And the first thing that came to my head was, this is the worst person to ever catch a football.
And I just watched the Aaron Hernandez talk to me.
Right?
Like, I'm watching AB, and I'm like, there's nothing redeemable about this guy.
Like, nobody likes, at least Hernandez's wife rode with him.
Man, listen, if you ask Robert Kraft or Bill Belchick, Aaron Hernandez, sparkling professional cables on time, film room, they were shocked to hear this shit.
This A-B shit.
We saw it coming.
Kind of seen it coming like a fucking train, bro.
You didn't even see the Aaron Hernandez shit the full shit.
No, I haven't seen him, man.
I fell asleep on it.
I fell asleep twice.
Yeah.
But I'm telling you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I saw it.
That shit is crazy.
It's unbelievable.
It's fucking good.
Honestly, it's good.
My whole thing is like, there were some people who didn't need to be in that shit.
Like who?
Like the fat white gay dude, like the other gay, like offensive lineman or whatever.
Yeah.
The whole time I'm watching, I'm thinking, okay, like he's going to get to the part where like where they hooked up.
They hooked up as patriots.
They weren't even on the scene, P.
They just same fucking time.
Gay people want to fuck all the time.
Why y'all think that exactly?
So why?
That's why we think that.
Yo, y'all talk about gay people just want to have sex all the time.
They just want to oil you up.
It's not like a masseuse going to come over just because they're gay.
They want to fuck you.
Like, what are y'all even thinking, bro?
They were doing their job.
Like, gay people can do their job without having sex with people.
Like, yo, y'all are nuts.
Y'all so prejudiced.
Sounds like Andrew got fucked.
I don't know what y'all talking about, all right?
That's dressed as Ursula.
Fucking look like Ursula from the little mermaid.
Yo, give that bitch her voice back.
Give her a voice back.
That's why I wore this, to balance it out.
What's that?
My snowman team.
So I thought it didn't look that much of a pussy.
So I had to make sure I got my GZ.
Oh, damn, you don't remember these shirts?
What, a snowman?
I have a different idea of snowman.
Alex, how tight that shirt is, don't make you look no less gay.
It looks like a guy busted on your chest.
Three puddles have come.
He's about to zip that shit right back in.
Right the fuck back up.
God damn.
Look at the littlest puddle up.
I did not think that was.
How upset the little puddle is at all?
That the Indonesian sperm?
That little puddle is like, I wish I was in an ass right now.
Swimming around like, god damn it.
All my other friends ended up an asshole.
Yo, how disappointed do you think gay sperm is when it comes out?
And it's just like, asshole again.
I can't do my job, man.
Fuck.
Yo, do you think they bust on each other?
Of course.
They come inside each other, I bet.
You might as well just come inside.
Why would you bust on?
We only bust on.
Like, we've made an art of busting on because we have to.
It's necessary.
It's part of the game.
But like, if a girl doesn't get pregnant, you just leave it all inside.
You let her rip.
Nah, sometimes I like busting on.
Nah, but that's because you had so many abortions.
You're not going to do it if you don't.
It's like, it's almost like PTSD.
Like, once you feel that, like, I'm about to come in, you just hear Google Gaga in your head.
Oh, my God.
How do Puerto Rican kids go, Grugu Gaga?
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
But no, no.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I feel like we've made an art out of it because we had to pull out.
Is that fair to say?
Preventative measure.
Preventative measure.
That's what I'm trying to say.
You sleep better at night when you pull out and you see it out there.
It's like, oh, you don't have to wait the two weeks and think maybe.
New Orleans Vibes00:09:27
For sure.
It's great.
100%.
It's like when you shoot something in the air and you see the bullet drop.
If you never see that bullet drop, you're like, fuck that bullet cover.
God damn.
It's like Bobby Schmurt's hat.
One of the greatest mysteries in hip-hop.
It's like, who killed Tupac?
Where did Bobby Smurda's hat come on?
Fucking just floated into the atmosphere, never to be fucking seen again.
God damn.
Akaz, you feeling high?
I think I do.
Do you?
Really?
No, you don't.
Nah, a little bit.
Maybe.
I feel a little different.
Not quite high, though.
Did we get a knock on that?
Yeah.
The best type of munchies you could possibly order.
She could have indeed.
All right, yo.
So what's going on, man?
What's been happening this week?
We were in New Orleans.
Oh, yeah.
Have y'all ever been to New Orleans?
Yes.
Yes, you have.
I love New Orleans.
I went to the Mardi Gras right after Katrina.
Oh, really?
And it was dope, dude.
The whole city, they had like a sense of humor about it.
Weirdly, like all the floats and stuff.
It's a greatest city, man.
I might take my girl for Valentine's.
I would thoroughly recommend it.
Alex and I went down there.
Alex and Mark as well.
Alex's initial reaction.
What was it?
Initial reaction.
Well, I thought it was like all bullshit, just commercial.
And then I fell in love.
That might be my favorite.
What did you like about it?
It just won all the different types of people.
And then the energy people have.
It's like nobody's taking themselves too serious.
It's all just like, yo, let's just hang down.
Let's just chill.
It's a fantastic big event city.
Yeah.
Like, if the Super Bowl or All-Star weekend or anything's in New World, it's the fucking best because everything's right there.
You can drink wherever you want.
The food is fucking.
It was bomb.
It's fucked up.
And the people there are just like five.
I love it.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, the food.
After going to New Orleans, I understand why Zion Williamson sleeps every time.
And it's not even a question.
We would nap.
I would be asleep by one.
I mean, the food is just like so dense with butter and everything.
But as far as a city, and this is why I think it'd be great to go to, it is one of the most unique cultural experiences in the world, not just America.
You just happen to have it in America.
And it is so foreign.
Like when you're in New Orleans, it's a different.
You do not feel like you're in America.
And I think I said this to you.
I wasn't sure if I said it to you, but like it's the only place in America outside of like Michigan where I've gone, can we drink the water?
Yeah.
Like I had a real, because it feels so foreign.
Yeah.
You feel like you're in a completely different place.
You feel like in a heavily Cajun part?
Not necessarily Cajun per se, but we were by the quarter.
Okay.
So like, and when you're in, I mean, interesting thing about the French quarter, all the buildings and everything in the French quarter were actually built in like the Spanish time.
The French were there, then the Spanish were there.
I mean, you have Creole people coming down.
There was, I mean, this was one of the only places in the whole United States where at one point in time there were white people living there.
There were what they call mulatto people there.
They're like the mixed black and white people living there.
Free mulatto people.
There were free blacks and slaves.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
All at the same time living there together.
And they invited a bunch of Haitians because the French people that lived there wanted to increase the French-speaking population.
So during slavery, they invite free blacks to live in New Orleans.
And they all kind of like mix together.
I mean, it's just like this amazing fucking place.
And when they had the World's Fair there, right?
They had the World's Fair there in the 80s.
And that's what really shot us.
Blew it up.
Oh, no.
You go to a funeral.
New Orleans has been like an amazing city.
It was the third most populated city in the world.
And then America back in the day.
Like it was a big hub.
This is where all the goods and shit come in for Middle America.
Like all the container ships go right up through the Mississippi through New Orleans.
Yeah.
But it was like, it was a fun fucking town.
The food was unreal, man.
I want it, yo.
That's the best.
That's a problem.
That's a problem.
How much you gained?
I think I put on like five pounds.
Five pounds.
Minimum.
I had the best crawfish at a fucking gas station.
Oh, yeah, The whole thing.
What was it then?
The gumbo at Dookie Chase.
Oh, God.
I just pulled my back again.
You're going to hear that guy a lot during the podcast.
So we went to a place named Dookie Chase.
And this is like one of these old traditional southern restaurants that kind of feels like it's in a house a bit.
And it's like...
Obama went there.
Oh, by the way, Alex thinks he's slick.
So every city we go to, Alex got to do dropping in now.
He's the showrunner for dropping in.
So that means you got to organize what we check out this at the air.
And he's been kind of killing it with restaurants, right?
And this last time, I realized every time I walk into a restaurant, I see a picture of Obama.
And I'm like, hold on.
Are you just Googling where Obama ate in every city?
And he just kind of like smiles at me.
I'm like, you lazy.
Here I am thinking he's scouring TripAdvisor.
He's getting all infatuated.
Just going to Barack's Instagram, typing in fucking New Orleans.
He's always the best food, though.
He has great taste for food.
I'm not going to lie.
Our first black president does have the best taste.
George Bush out there eating it fucking RVs.
You know what I mean?
Trying to be warm.
Motherfuckers, McDonald's.
He went straight fast food.
Barack went to a place that first name was Dookie.
And the next name, Chase.
And it was unbelievable.
Best gumbo I've ever had in my entire life.
Best fried chicken I've ever had.
Fried chicken was crazy.
By far.
Like the best fried chicken I've ever had.
And that's crazy.
Real.
You got one of those fucking frozen alcoholic drinks with the wing spots?
Yo, first of all, that was a mistake.
We got to discuss this about the drinks.
We were trying to joke around during the show about it.
Like every drink there is devastated.
Like there's a place called Pat O'Brien's and their drink that they're known for is called the Hurricane.
I know the hurricane.
That's like the drink, right?
Some motherfuckers drink that after Katrina.
Everybody's just getting that.
They never changed it.
The place is not a Caribbean restaurant or a Caribbean bar.
It's an Irish bar.
There's no hurricanes in Ireland.
There's no fruit in Ireland.
It's a fruity beverage called a hurricane at a place called Pat O'Brien's.
They could have easily switched the drink, right?
But they're like, no, we're going to fucking lock this down.
It is what it is.
It's a fucking great thing.
It's a big easy, man.
They don't care.
They don't give up.
Does anything affect these people?
Son.
It didn't look like it.
It was resilient.
I didn't see anybody fighting.
Nothing.
I was telling you, when I was seeing Mardi Gras floats, like making light of, like, it was like, here's a female aid truck or whatever.
And they'd be like taking shit from people or whatever.
It was just like, Mardi Gras, I mean, Katrina was four months ago.
And they're like, nah, we're just here.
We're going to, this is what we do.
We make light of it.
And the other dope thing is like the funerals are drange.
What do you mean about that?
Apparently in New Orleans funerals like a fucking parade.
You're supposed to like follow it around.
They're playing music.
So it's like an Indian wedding.
Yes.
Yes.
No wildlife, but it's the first part.
Yeah.
They don't call them funerals.
They're homegoing ceremonies.
So they're basically celebrating that you're going home to God.
So it's not sad at all.
It's beautiful as a girl.
That's how it should be.
I feel like it's fucking dope.
It's really dope.
Really?
What were you saying about the age range?
Oh, the biggest age range of people like hanging out and drinking together.
Yes.
You have college students like fresh in college.
What was those things?
Formals.
Yeah.
So what these schools do, they'll schedule their formal at a place like New Orleans where it's like fun and cool.
And then these kids like just go drink it fucked up.
And then they have one night where they put on like a nice little gown and go to their little dance that's paid for by the school.
And then you have like senior citizens all in the same place drinking together, hanging like that.
I've never seen that anywhere.
Usually it's an old city, young city, or I mean, where's the one place you've seen it?
Where?
Vegas, maybe?
Burning Man.
Oh, Burning Man.
Oh, yeah.
It is a vibe that everybody gets in on and they commit to.
And I was trying to think about while I was there.
I was like, why do we love this place?
What is it we love about this place?
And I'll tell you what it is.
It is our idea of freedom executed.
We talk about freedom in New York and we're like, hey, man, we want to be free and freedom is so important.
And then we're like, yeah, but you can't play your music after 10 o'clock because the condo board doesn't like that.
Hey, hey, freedom is so, we got to do whatever we want to do.
Don't park on the street on Tuesday and Wednesday.
You're going to get freedom.
We're all about freedom.
You got to do freedom.
Parks close at 1 a.m.
Please get out of the park.
So it's like, there's this illusion of freedom.
You go to New Orleans, you will see people selling beers on the street like they sell waters outside of a Yankee game.
You will see there's open container for the whole city, right?
People smoking inside.
There's literally freedom and there's a cost to freedom.
It's wild.
Motherfuckers are drunk.
Motherfuckers do some crazy shit.
You get to see a lot of wild shit out there.
I'm not saying you can't.
You take one wrong turn in New Orleans.
And it gets crazy.
And you are in a bad place.
It gets crazy.
But the benefit of it is when you're there, you feel this true freedom.
Not once when I was there was I like, yo, could we do this?
Like, well, we get arrested.
Freedom and Park Rules00:15:07
You know, that kind of shit where you're looking over your shoulder constantly?
Not once.
And it's a beautiful feeling.
And I really think everybody listening right now, if you get the opportunity to go to fucking New Orleans, man, God bless you.
Love that city.
It's my second.
That in Houston and this is a great city.
My favorite city is like North America.
Just so fun, so cultural.
Just people chilling.
Great food.
Toronto doesn't have great food, but Houston and New Orleans have fantastic food.
Yeah, man.
Love it there.
No, it was good.
Anytime I get a chance to go to New Orleans, I go.
All right, let's take a break for a second.
Guys, simple as this.
Sometimes you have to wear button-down shirts, okay?
I'm sure you're familiar with the company, Untuck It.
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They literally create the shirt so you don't have to tuck it into a pants.
I don't care if you listen right now, you're like, I don't wear button-down shirts.
You're going to have to sometimes.
You're going to have to go out to dinner with your girl's parents.
Okay?
You're going to have to have a maybe a more casual type of job interview.
You're going to have to do something.
Shit, you might go out for an apartment and they want to meet you before they accept you.
You're going to need a button-down shirt.
Maybe you don't want to go tucked into the pants.
Maybe you gained a little weight.
Maybe you did something that you don't feel super comfortable with that tucked in situation.
Maybe you don't like your belts.
Okay?
Who knows what it is?
Point is get yourself a shirt.
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Use the offer code Flagrant.
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Peace.
You got a Super Bowl?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, we do.
Akash high, bro.
Is he high?
Are you high?
I think Akash is high, though.
Oh, look at his eyes.
I think we're getting some echo from that door being open.
Yeah, close the clothes.
Can you close that door?
Bring Akash some food.
Hungry.
Nob, do you think you're high, though, for real?
I don't think so, but I mean, I don't feel completely hungry.
Yeah, it'll work you up appetite, yeah, but you shouldn't feel like lightheaded or anything like that.
No, Yeah.
Pass that sushi to Akash.
Let me make sure he sees straight.
Hold on one second.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Okay.
So, Akash, now that you're high, maybe we can get your feelings on a couple things here.
How are you excited about the Super Bowl?
Not particularly.
Yo, he's high, son.
How do you got high from no THC, son?
I don't know.
No, Akash's really high.
Neo, look at him.
You're like a stuffed slow on, son.
Oh, my.
Hold on.
So it was hard for him to make eye contact with me.
He looked like me looking at my game of Seuss.
He went like this.
Those eyes are getting low a little bit.
Yeah.
So do you feel a little paranoia right now?
No.
Do you feel like at any point in time we could lock the door and just all rape you together at one time?
I've been thinking about that since I zombied.
I was in the first podcast.
Since I met Cash.
This is my fantasy.
Akash, if I wanted it, I could have it.
That was funny.
Eden said, I'll charge your phone.
Eden would have been.
Okay, Eden.
Okay, so Akash, since you're high, I want to go and just direct this all to you and try to make this as uncomfortable and awkward as possible.
Can you take your hands out of your pockets?
He's really high.
What's the weed?
You still got the weed out?
Hell, give me that weed because we're going to keep getting it.
So, I like the new one.
Say what?
I like the new one.
We still got a lot of people.
I don't want to go around.
Oh, no, you're not ready for that.
So, Akash.
Okay, so Akash, so we have a Super Bowl, right?
Yeah.
The word Super Bowl, how do you feel about that?
Say super.
Super.
Say super.
Bowl.
Bo.
Bowl.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is going to be the best episode ever.
Now, who do you think is going to win the Super Burr?
The Chiefs.
The Chiefs.
Yeah.
Okay.
For sure.
Now, why do you think the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl?
Would you like to smoke a peace pipe while we talk about it?
There we go.
There you go.
Hit that again.
Don't be afraid of that.
Smoke, son.
Make sure I hit the base.
No, no, no, no.
You didn't inhale.
You didn't inhale.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
Play Super Bowl again.
Super Bowl.
Give it one.
One more.
Really in Alex.
Oh, the nostrils, you little fucking dragon.
You fucking dragon you?
Yeah, Akash.
You know what I mean?
One time.
One time.
Okay, so what?
What?
Yeah, I got you.
I got you.
What?
You don't like the flavor?
It should taste bad at the end.
It does.
It's got a little more.
That's the real weed.
That's the real weed.
It's too low, right?
Super Bowl.
So tell us what you think.
What is your prediction?
I think the Chiefs.
I haven't believed in the Niners this whole time, so I think the Chiefs are going to win.
You haven't believed in the Niners the whole time.
Why is that?
I don't believe in the Niners or you don't believe in Garoppolo.
I don't believe in Garoppolo.
The defense might be the best defense I've ever seen.
And maybe they'll be like the Ravens when they beat the Giants, but I don't.
I just don't believe.
And I think the Chiefs are actually good.
The Chiefs are.
Whoever the Ravens are.
But the Chiefs can't stop it.
The Ravens beat the Giants that year.
They stopped Henry yesterday.
But they still put up, what, 24 points?
That was all like first quarter.
First half of the year.
They were up 17.
I got to give Andy Reed credit for his second half play.
The second half play has been amazing.
Yeah, Mahomes figures it out.
It's his second year.
Well, it's not only Mahomes, right?
I think it's his both, probably.
Yeah.
Well, Mahomes had to play that changed the whole game.
That scramble touchdown was unreal.
That was some Mike Vic shit where I was like, well, there's the game.
The Chiefs have like, they're the best momentum team in football.
Like, once they got it going.
Because you feel like you have to score every time.
Otherwise, they're going to go.
Because they're going to score.
And that's the only reason why the Patriots won last year because they didn't get the ball back in half time.
It's like the Warriors.
It's like the Warriors.
It kind of is.
They are the first one.
Once they run, you can't hit it.
There you go.
Why don't you hit that one more time, you little warrior?
You.
You little fucking Slash Brothers.
Yeah, you're a little smashed, aren't you?
You know what I mean?
Get that.
But really hit that shit.
Come on, son.
Come on, son.
You got to stop that.
Akash.
Stop that.
What are you not doing?
Throw some hair in your pussy.
Andrew, if you really wanted to fuck with him, all you had to do is like, didn't know you liked the wet, though.
Oh, that means.
I don't know.
Y'all remember training day?
Oh, yes.
Didn't know you liked the wet, though.
Is that when they fucked up?
Sherman.
PCP.
PCP.
Freeman.
One more time.
P. Dog.
That's what you had.
You didn't hit it.
You didn't hit it.
I think the light's out.
Yeah.
Light that one up.
All right.
Light up the new one, Cass.
So, okay, so you think that it's going to go down?
You think that have an incredible run defense, but I don't know about their past defense.
Because didn't New Orleans put like 40 up on him?
Yeah.
Did you see the beef going on with Sherman and Rivas?
Did you guys see that?
I didn't see that.
No, I did not.
I saw the aftermath of it.
Why do corners hate Richard Sherman?
Is there any corner?
I have not seen one elite corner.
Because people don't think he's a shutdown corner.
He's a great zone corner.
He doesn't like what Rivas, the reason why Revis is so great is you put him on one side of the field and he shuts down the whole field.
Okay, now here's the thing.
These elite corners like Revis, I think Patrick Patterson last year, maybe a couple years ago, they all come at Richard Sherman.
Is there something that they know about Richard Sherman that we don't know?
Well, what they said, and I think what Dominique Foxworth said today on first take, he was like, they put him in a lot of cover three.
Cover two.
Cover three.
Cover two and cover three, which basically you're just guarding two routes.
You're making sure nobody goes over the top and you're making sure nobody cuts in front of you.
So since there's less to predict, it's way easier to.
And if you're in a good scheme, you're going to look great.
And I guess like the people who say that like he's a scheme cornerback, it's hard to say now because it's not like the Legion of Boom.
You know what I mean?
Like Legion of Boom, that was like the easy fucking defense.
Like you got Cam Chancellor, you got Bobby Wagner, you got all these fucking all-time greats.
Earl Thomas.
Earl Thomas.
You know what I'm saying?
These guys were hard hat motherfuckers.
Oh, shit.
So here's the thing.
While I want to side with and agree with these corners, I understand there's some competitiveness that goes along with any sport.
Of course.
And that competitiveness is only heightened when someone who plays your position is getting more accolades and more respect than you think they deserve based on their skill.
Like that's when everybody was shitting on.
Remember David Beckham?
Yes.
David Beckham was a great player.
He was just more famous than he was great.
Yes.
And you even saw it with Dane Cook, to be honest, as like a stand-up comic.
He was more famous than he was great.
He had the movies.
He was dating a fucking Spice Girl.
He's fucking David Beckham.
David.
I mean, what's his name?
Dane Cook.
Dane Cook.
So comics didn't like it, right?
But it was because they were like, hey, this isn't.
They felt it wasn't justified based on the skill level.
And I feel like that's what happened to Richard Sherman a little bit right now, which is you have these corners kind of hating on him and these maybe defensive specialists hating on him because he's more famous than they believe he's good.
But here's the bottom line.
Where he goes, he wins.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, and he bet on himself with his contract and they won.
He bet on himself.
And he won.
But like, has he ever gone to a situation where he wasn't winning or successful?
He's been in Seattle and he's been in the 49ers.
He had that game that sent him to the Super Bowl when they lost to the Patriots the second time, wasn't it?
I'm sorry, y'all sorry-ass quarterback.
You can't ever play me.
Ever test a sorry wide receiver with me.
Yeah.
I'll ever travel with a sorry receiver like Crabtree.
Yeah, but I mean, you know what?
The only whack thing that Revis did was bring it up like right as he's going to the Super Bowl.
It's like, bro, you could have said that any fucking time.
What did Revis say?
I mean, he was just basically talking about how he's not really a Eden.
Can you show it to us?
Run that, Eden.
Fear of getting, quote, fear of getting beat in man-to-man coverage, every snap, every play.
The fact that he doesn't travel as a cornerback is lame.
Accept the challenge.
Yeah, and he got him on that as well.
Accept the challenge as the best and shut Adams down the entire game.
Do it for the game of football.
Stop hiding yourself in the cover three zone.
But here's my question, Revis.
If their team is winning, shouldn't he do that?
Shouldn't you keep doing the thing that is helping your team win?
Yes, they have the best defense I've seen since the Legion of Boom.
He was on both.
He was on both.
And yeah, why would you fucking shoot?
Like, why are you challenging him to do a worse job at defense?
It makes no sense.
Like, get out of that cover three and go do man-on-man.
We're winning.
We're in the Super Bowl.
You're sitting at home like a bum.
You're on the Jets.
They never did shit.
Well, he didn't win the chip with the Patriots.
Yeah, he got one.
He got one with the Patriots.
Wait, wait, Revis did?
Revives got one with the Patriots, yeah.
Matter of fact, I think he beat the Seahawks.
I think it was the year they beat the Seahawks.
Was he on that team?
I think so.
Now it's getting a little spicy.
Not as spicy.
Yo, my bad.
I got to take that back because I remember when Revis was done, Zoe.
Or at least we thought he was done, Zoe.
Then he signed with somebody for big money.
I don't think Tampa Bays.
Tampa Bay got cut, got picked up by the Patriots for, I think, a two-year contract.
And the second year had a bunch of money.
And they just cut him after one year, and he won the Super Bowl.
And I think I remember because you tweeted about how something like it was like him and Belichick Huggins was like, well, you're going to get cut next year.
So whatever.
Something like that.
I don't remember what the tweet was, but.
Well, I don't know if he was cut.
I know if he was doing like, he was on some like mercenary shit for a couple years where he would just sign these big money.
He's a fucking samurai.
Yeah.
Yo, first trip to the Super Bowl, Patriots face the Seattle Seahawks.
Yeah.
And won 28, 24.
When they should have handed it off to Marshawn.
Holy shit.
I forgot he was on that team.
All right, so then he could talk a little more shit than I thought.
My bad.
I take it back.
I thought he was just one of these like sad losers.
No, I mean, when it comes to shutdown, I remember that motherfucker.
When it comes to shutdown quarterbacks, like outside of Deion Sanders, you really can't find it.
I told you when I saw him, right?
I told y'all that story.
I saw him.
Well, you think it might have been him?
I know it was him.
But I saw him.
He was pulling up into this parking lot and he was wearing a Jets 24 t-shirt.
And that was his number 24.
And I know it was him, but I didn't want to ask him if it was him.
And he was wearing his own jersey.
Because I think he just came from practice.
But I didn't want to ask him if it was him because I didn't want some black guy to be like, wait, just because I'm wearing the fucking Revis jersey, you think I'm Darrell Revis?
Like, the chances were just too slim.
Honestly, if I was a professional athlete, I'd do that more often because he probably wouldn't bother you.
Like, I would do that all the time.
That's great.
Because I'm fucking.
That's really like, you know, don't want nobody to bother you.
Just wear your own shit.
Wear your armor.
You're dripped in Balenciaga or something like that.
There's no way in hell.
Actually, they're going to come right up to you.
Of course.
Even if they don't know who you are, they'll be like why you look like somebody important.
Yeah.
Like, if I'm LeBron James, then I'll just go wearing a LeBron jersey.
That's why those people in Golden State were so fucking stupid when Clay was walking around with, you know, fake Clay was walking around in his own jersey in the parking lot, and they were like, it's him.
It's like, why would he walk around in his own jersey in the parking lot?
And he didn't even look like Clay Thompson at all.
Nah, he looked enough.
It looked like how I look like James Harden.
That's how he looked like he was.
He did look like James Harden, though.
A shorter, huskier version.
Yeah.
You look, I mean, James Harden's husky.
He's not that husky.
James Harden is hard.
He's husky.
Not as husky as you, but you're not a professional athlete.
James Harden is not built like most basketball players.
Okay.
Like most guards.
You're built like you talk about basketball.
He's built like he plays basketball.
Well, that works out.
Exactly.
That's how it should.
Honestly, if you guys switch roles, I guarantee he'd be built like you.
You'd be built like him.
Honestly, he built like he plays basketball sometimes.
Who?
James Harden.
James Harden Comparison00:15:39
Yeah, it's not like a.
He plays basketball like a recreation.
Shout out to KFC from Barstool.
He just sends me a random tweet text.
And he does it from time to time.
He goes, So I look at the phone again.
I thought it was bringing us up.
Shout out to KFC, man.
Yeah.
Black people fuck with Halzley or no?
No, Halsey?
Halsey.
Halsey.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't think black people do that.
Alex, you listen to Halsey?
That isn't?
I don't even know what that is, to be honest with you.
Brown people don't fuck with Halsey.
Anyway.
What is that?
So if you're reading, if you're watching this episode, so what are we thinking?
Super Bowl.
Go.
I think the Chiefs are going to win.
I think the Niners don't have as good of a pass defense, and they just got a lot of weapons, the Chiefs.
Yo, Sammy Watkins has been balling his fucking ass off.
But he still always makes like one or two plays.
I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing?
What do you mean?
I don't remember the exact plays, but I remember watching a little bit of the game, and I think he dropped an easy first down or something.
And every time I'm like, this guy sucks.
Then he catches like a 50-yard pass every time.
Because he got paid.
He got paid good money.
He got paid to come there.
Yeah.
I think he comes from the Rams, I think.
Yeah.
He was on that really good Rams team.
And he's their third best weapon.
You got Tyreek Hill, you got whatever, Nicole Hardman, you got him.
They had Kareem Hunt before he kicked that bitch.
Can you imagine if they still had Kareem Hash?
I don't even know who's playing running back for them.
Who's that tailback?
I got a kid in the draft.
He's all right.
But that's what's so crazy.
I had this exact conversation yesterday.
We were watching the game and we're like, oh my God, this is one of the best offensive teams I've ever seen.
And then both of them looked at each other and we're like, wait, who's the running back?
Yeah.
How do you have one of the best offensive teams you've ever seen?
You don't even know.
So a lot of these stats geeks are like, you don't really need to run the ball.
You run just to keep teams honest and then you win by throwing.
What do you mean?
I thought it's the opposite in the playoffs.
I thought just last week we're sitting here going, just stats geeks don't care about the time.
Like analytics people are never worried about what, like, is it playoffs?
Is it regular season?
Whatever.
They just let you never run on first down.
You should always pass on first down.
You pass more often.
The teams that pass more always win more.
And yesterday was kind of a battle of that, which it was this amazing passing team, this amazing running team.
And then we saw something that you don't normally see historically is the amazing passing team won.
Yeah, usually.
Ran up the scores or something.
So what are you saying?
The stack geeks.
Stack geeks are all about passing.
But they weren't surprised by that win.
No.
I remember one guy tweeted.
He's a big stats dork that I follow on Twitter.
Yeah.
And he was just, he had some, because he's a cowboy guy.
But he had something.
I can't lean over.
Yeah.
No, he's just a cowboy guy, but he tweeted something about how, like, you know, there's some stat, like when Derrick Henry rushes for more than 100 yards, they're 75-0 or whatever.
And he was like, some smug tweet that wasn't funny, but the idea was just they're still going to lose this game, and Derrick Henry is going to get his hundred yards.
Derrick Henry.
When he touches your girl's butt, what do you do?
Derrick Henry might actually get fucked up, yo.
Bro, I mean, your girl's light enough.
Just say she was white and tell somebody.
And he's out of it.
What would you do in the moment?
Touches your girl's butt.
I grab his ass, yo.
Two could play at this game.
Now who's the bitch, Derrick Henry?
Grab his dick.
And then look at my girl and be like, I did that for you, bro.
Sharing this shit.
Let's get weird.
You ever been to Indonesia?
That's what I do.
I'd see how his battery life was on his phone.
I'd offer to charge it for him.
That's a tough one.
Guy that size?
That's a big one.
What would you do?
Touches my girl's butt?
Yeah.
Squeeze.
Squeeze his butt.
I'd probably move my girl out of the way.
Yep.
And apologize to him.
Say, yeah, something like that.
I'm sorry, you know, she was in your way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She'd be in the way.
Because here's the thing.
What are you going to do?
You have to have a weapon.
You can't just fist fight that guy.
No.
So I have to decide: do I kill him or shoot him below the way?
But what if I don't have a weapon?
Honestly, I'd probably do this.
I'd be like, man, come on.
Fuck, dude.
Fucking shit.
The most honest answer any of us gave us.
What the hell am I supposed to do when you grab my girls at what?
What am I supposed to do?
You tell me, you fucking dick.
You're a real fucking dickhead.
Outside of just assaulting women, sure treat men like shit.
They look fucking fucked up.
That's what I'd say.
I'd try to shame him.
I'd be like, you fuck.
Fuck you.
You fuck.
Come on, babe.
Let's get out of here.
Like, grandma.
Come on.
Oh, man.
You know?
What else can you do in that situation?
I'm like, what are we supposed to fight?
There's nothing you can do.
Derrick Henry?
I'd give my girl my cell phone and be like, baby, I did this for you.
And take one swing.
Oh, you would swing.
I got to take one swing, but get on camera.
So he loses all his money.
This is all endorsement.
Yeah, you hand your girl like, baby.
I did this for you.
Hit record.
That's what I'm saying.
I did this for you.
Hit record.
Take one swing and pray for the best, bro.
Just pray for the best.
You would take one swing.
You got to take one swing.
The guy gets hit in the head for a living by the biggest men on the planet.
Also, remember.
And he makes them look small.
He makes them look tiny.
This is true.
You, for a living, are talking.
I am a talker.
Okay.
Some tweets.
And tweets.
But the thing is, that's what you should do.
Tweet about it.
If he's grabbing his ass, I'm assuming a lot of people in there.
Somebody's going to break it up.
You take one swing, like, oh, somebody, homie back.
Oh, you're going to TI it?
Of course.
Yes.
TI was so slick with me when I was a little bit more.
You got a fucking big ass swing.
I'm going to fuck you up, super lot.
What is it called?
Loud?
Super loud.
Security.
I might be high.
I'm residual Akash.
Nah, that's the thing.
With a guy that size, man, you got to find another way.
You got to find another way.
Take a swing and make motherfuckers break it up, bro.
That's all you got to do.
And just act.
You got to act.
I'm not stepping in, though.
Put up the act.
I'm not stepping in between Derrick Henry and anybody.
Come on, dude.
None of y'all.
You and Derrick Henry are beefing.
I'll try to de-escalate the situation.
But I don't know how to step in.
What do I do?
Tackle him?
Then he comes after me.
Let's be reasonable.
That's when you start acting.
Nah.
Nah, Andrew, you take him.
You give him arms that you gave the bouncer in Sweden.
Son, I couldn't push a 5'6 Swedish bouncer out the way.
Well, I'm gonna do with Derrick Henry, son.
Just five Swiss.
One fucking swim movie.
My man did swim movies.
He did.
He did.
He did a swim movement.
He swimmed.
We looked at the video.
Oh, God.
Derrick Henry.
I don't have that.
Say what?
I've seen it in the video.
No, no, no.
I haven't either.
I was lying about it.
I was trying to justify what I did.
Derrick Henry would fucking body me.
Oh, God.
What power those guys have, and they don't use it.
I'm trying to, I mean, they're not human beings.
They're using it.
Whoa, bro.
Whoa, bro.
Akash.
Taking us way back.
What kind of weed is this?
Is this weed making races?
Especially back into the 1800s.
If they were black, they'd need 315.
I had to get there first, yo.
I couldn't look your hat both.
I'm not that high.
Oh, God.
Son, these people are fucking animals.
This time we're talking about black people.
Thank you.
Thank you for clearing that up, Akash.
Jesus Christ.
On that Mo K Day, too.
What'd you say?
That's it.
On Martin Luther King.
Yo, Martin Luther.
Shout out to Martin Luther King.
Yo, what party are you going to to celebrate, son?
Oh, my God.
How are you going to celebrate Martin Luther King?
Yo, yo, we saw the funniest part.
I'm going to Torque Night.
Torque Night was what did he say?
Twerk for Freedom or something?
What was it?
Bro, pull them up.
Pull them up.
Pull them up.
We got the five best Martin Luther King Day parties.
We got the promo flyers for him.
Bro, I've been seeing these shits for years.
I legitimately want to go to one.
All right.
So for everybody who's foreign and listening, Martin Luther King was a civil rights activist in the United States of America.
And we get Martin Luther King Day off every single year.
So often the Sunday before that Monday, there's a party.
Okay.
And black people will celebrate Martin Luther King Day in historic fashion.
Let's look at some of the parties that transpired last night.
In remembrance of.
In remembrance of the great Martin Luther King, who was killed fighting for the rights of black people, fighting for their equality by the FBI.
Say again?
He was killed by the FBI.
Let's keep that straight.
Was he?
Yes, he was.
I don't know.
Absolutely.
The fucked up part about all these flyers is that they're all in the Bible belt.
So you know, like, he probably had speeches very close to these places.
So go to.
Free at Last is fantastic.
I mean, that's the name of the party is perfect.
Go to it.
Hey, me ain't got the flyers I said in the group chat.
These are the vintage ones.
Oh, gosh.
The eye.
Bad bitch Sundays.
Freedom to twerk.
Freedom to twerk party is MLK space.
Did you put his head on like yo gotta somebody?
In one of the flyers under the head, they put the head on a guy doing the gun finger, bro.
Oh, my gosh.
This guy was about peaceful protests.
Flint, y'all don't have anything better to worry about.
Go up.
God damn.
With the blue, there was one with the blue card that was right above it.
LCN.
Never mind.
There it is.
Anyway, shout out to Martin Luther King, man.
We appreciate it, bro.
The GOAT.
The GOAT.
So, Arkash.
Yeah.
What else are we thinking?
We have so much to discuss.
We have Odell Beckham Jr.
I think Odell Beckham Jr. should be arrested for sexual assault.
I'm being dead serious.
Because you know he's gay, yo.
Outside of that, 100% gay.
If you look at the video, before he grabs his ass, he stares at his ass.
It makes it sexual.
And he stared at that ass.
He looked at it.
He thought about it.
He licked his lips a little bit.
Sound like the police, Andrew.
Son.
He sexually assaulted the officer because he made it sexual.
Watch him.
First off, those cops are giving that shit.
Watch him.
Look at him.
Look at him.
Wait for the officer to come through.
Look how turned on OBJ.
Hey, what about your big lady?
Look at him.
Oh, all turned on.
Oh, yes.
Oh, man, want that.
Yeah.
Yo, he backed off real scary.
That was something else.
He was like, back off.
I get it.
That's not my reason.
Yeah, I think context is key here.
Son, he Harvey Weinstein, yo.
That cop was giving the players shit for smoking cigars in the locker room.
They would tell him to put out the cigars or we can like press charges or whatever.
And that slapping the ass, like, yo, they just won the fucking national championship.
You're from Louisiana.
Obijay was acting like an asshole the whole day, yo.
He was a little frank to tank with it.
Like, he was a little frank to take.
He was wild.
Son, my man.
What do you do when you go back to campus, though?
Yeah.
Like, Odell's, what, 24 years old?
He's not that far removed from being on college, bro.
I know when I used to go back to campus, granted, I'm not Odell Beckham Jr.
Yeah.
I used to wild the fucking.
You stay cabin for these.
That's crazy, yo.
Yo, what did he do?
Hello, Odell.
Like, do you have no ability to assess an attitude?
What attitude is that?
It's crazy how I'm not.
Nobody's saying, listen, what?
All the joke.
You took the joke seriously about he should be in jail?
Yeah.
Because, you know, whatever.
You got to defend black people all the time.
That's fine.
Fuck you.
I think you're really smoking back into like the 1940s, bro.
You and OBJ.
That's six pips of a human.
Wow.
God damn.
I'm high.
Jesus Christ.
You're not high.
My point of view.
All jokes aside.
It's like the episode of Chappelle show when they fucking the old weeds.
And he was like, wrong back, Mars.
No, my point about OBJ is not he should be in jail, but he just makes everything about him.
Handing out money.
Okay, you want to give players money?
You can easily do it in the locker room where you're going to go celebrate doing it at the 50-yard line after the game where you know there's cameras around.
Do you not think he's, do you think he's that stupid that he's like, what?
People were watching?
To be fair.
It's like I agree with you.
Millions of dollars.
It's like when you throw like $40,000 at the club, you're not doing it for the strippers.
You're doing it to be looked at.
That's marketing.
You want people to write about you.
You want people to look about you.
It's the same reason when you like order bottles at the club and they come through with that big sparkler shit.
You want everybody to know you ordered the bottles.
And he was treating the players like some fucking strippers.
And to be fair, he's a great marketer, but I don't care about having a great marketer on my team.
No, because I want the team to be the thing that's marketed, not the player.
I 1000% agree with you thinking Odell was doing the most, but you got to, like I said, context is fucking key here when it comes to Odell Beckham and Louisiana State.
Like, he's Mr. Louisiana State.
Like, his dad and mom are both all-Americans.
His godfather is shape for crying out loud.
The guys he was dapping up are kids, in addition to Burrow, those are the guys that are already fucking declaring for the NFL.
So that was more or less like a fucking, it's the last game.
You won a championship.
You're going to the NFL.
I can do this for you legally now.
Like, it's almost like a fuck the NCAA type of thing, which I thought was dope.
What I didn't think was dope was a couple of the other videos that fucking popped out.
See, if it was just that video.
If it was just that, I'm like, that's actually fucking really cool.
We talked about it on Patreon.
I was ready to go in, and then you said all those guys had already declared.
So I was like, all right, bet.
But in addition to all the other videos, it's like, yo, you just constantly need attention.
You are a hot bitch.
Yeah.
You just, if, if, if every, all the attention's not on me, I will fucking die.
I don't know what's going to happen.
So I'm just good on it.
I don't think that there's any better way to get those kids that money.
Congratulations.
I don't think that there's any better way to get those kids that money.
A way that doesn't bring any attention to you.
You know what you can do?
He's also a booster.
You have access to the locker room.
He's a booster.
You know where their lockers are.
You could literally get an envelope.
It could say OBJ on the front so they know it's coming from you.
You could put it in their locker.
Nobody sees it.
And if you want to just can't give money to kids directly.
It doesn't matter if you're they give you a job where you get paid.
I'm saying like that the training room is named after him.
He puts a lot of money into that fucking campus.
So it's like he's Mr. LSU.
Yeah, nobody's questioned that.
We're saying, can you do this thing without making it about you, but rather making it about them?
When you ball up bread in public and then dap someone up with it, you know it's about you because you're the one giving the money.
He's probably jealous from all those fire promos they've been doing.
Son.
He's like, wait, no, no, no, no.
I'm the hottest thing out of LSU.
I mean, those promos were unbelievable.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
They did like a whole story on the kit.
Like he's like a video coordinator that goes to school there.
I'm like, that motherfucker is going to be.
If you listen to this podcast, DM me.
I want to give you a shit.
Real fucking talk.
I won't give you a job.
You are fucking nice.
You are amazing.
Are fucking amazing, dog.
And again, if it was just that, if it was fucking Chad Johnson or somebody who's like not in the headlines all the time, he's not even the best.
Mohamed Sanu.
Oh, that's fucking dope.
Fuck the NCAA.
Odell Beckham Jr Drama00:11:10
He did that for this reason.
With him, with the context of everything else he's done, it seems like I'm doing this for attention.
There's a thousand ways you tell the NCAA, fuck you, without that.
There's a specific video that came out and I was like, which one?
Yeah, he might have been wilding.
When he's like taking the megahorn and he's trying to get the LSU band to perform neck, which is like a, it's a song about giving the head or whatever.
But they play it.
Like, that's like their thing.
Like, they don't say, like, this is the video right here.
I'm like, he's for sure on the big sugar.
1,000 people.
Somebody's trying to grab the megaphone and he's fighting the art.
I know drunk people.
That's not alcohol.
That's not out.
That right there is not alcohol.
Oh, arrest him.
That is the booger sugar, dog.
Hell yeah.
He's on cocaine.
And he's just being a douchebag.
Like, he's being, if you guys can't see the video right now because you're listening, what he's doing is he's talking into a loudspeaker, one of those megaphones you hold in your hand, and there's a security card trying to take it out of his hand very delicately and very nicely, by the way.
And he takes the megaphone and he points it right in the security guard's face and then he starts screaming neck into it.
Not the first time he's probably asked for a blowjob from a man, but he's screaming it in his face nonetheless.
Oh, shit.
How much did we miss?
No, you're good.
It was just that second?
Oh, okay.
Well, anyway, that shit popped.
That's how no you high.
This kid will be popping out of me, bro.
Even in this one.
Anyway, point is, you guys probably missed a little bit of that.
Point is, he's just being a dick.
He's just fucking being a dick.
Why do we even care?
Because he's good.
He's really good.
He's not worth the trouble, but he's really good.
And why do we care about misfits that are good?
Why are we drawn to that?
What is he really doing?
The great thing about the Odell shit is that we have perfect context for motherfuckers who are truly ancient.
Like Antonio Brown.
Yeah.
He's in the league.
He could have been if he wasn't fucking asshole.
There was a guy.
He is an asshole.
The only thing Odell is guilty of to me is being fucking immature.
Like, grow the fuck up.
Okay.
Like, you don't need to do all that shit either.
Good point.
Good point.
There was a guy named Aaron Hernandez who was murdering people on a regular basis.
Right?
And he managed to keep that shit outside the locker room.
Consummate professional on the field.
He was a fucking consummate.
I guarantee you, there are coaches in the league right now that are saying, I wish OBJ had Aaron Hernandez's professionalism.
I think that's a reasonable thing.
It's the only thing holding them back.
Bro.
It's the only thing.
He held me the fuck down for like two fantasy football seasons.
I thought Aaron Hernandez.
I thought he was going to be a bad person.
We could all use a little Hernandez discipline.
I mean, my man was about it.
He was there.
He was playing.
He was committed.
You never heard nothing until he murdered people and then they found out.
Yeah.
Right?
I think...
I mean, what would you rather have?
Honestly, if you have five years...
Whoa, here we go.
If you have five years of elite playing ability, would you rather have, and there is an example, would you rather have OBJ, who is seemingly an adorable person and like cute, he's just an egomaniac, but he's never going to harm a single person.
Or would you have her have, we'd rather have consummate professional who in his off time is hanging around with gang members doing nefarious shit and might get locked up.
What would you rather have?
We're talking straight football in between the lines.
I'm a GM or a president or somebody.
GM president, coach, you have to make that decision.
I mean, do you know he's killing people?
You don't not know.
You're not certain, but you don't not know.
They drafted him with questions.
Like, they came in and.
But the questions were weed.
It wasn't this motherfucker kill something.
Yeah, yeah.
That's tough, yo.
Like, he played for like...
Because that's how you feed your family.
I feed my family with this game.
Dog, he played for two of the greatest football programs.
OBJ, what?
Obij causing problems in the locker room.
They don't win as much.
That fucks up my bread.
Now I can't feed my family.
Exactly.
It fucks up.
There's a lot of collateral on that football team.
52?
52.
52 people plus the coaches.
We're talking about a staff of maybe 100 people.
100 people.
Minimum.
Got families.
Got families.
Obj is taking food out of their mouths.
Aaron Hernandez is just killing one or two.
He's one motherfucker.
He's one family.
Last time I checked.
One meal.
Last time I checked.
Two meals.
Five meals.
Last time I checked, me and Obama.
Get Blue Apron.
Have won the same exact number of playoff games.
Yo, that's a good one.
Aaron Hernandez got some.
He got some dumps under his back.
He caught a touchdown in the Super Bowl go.
Yes, Erin Hernandez balled out in that Super Bowl.
They lost, but Gronk was out.
And Hernandez, I remember being like, this motherfucker is nice.
He's billing in Admiral.
He's a killer.
He was a killer on the phone.
OBJ was on a yacht the fucking week before the Super Bowl and then kind of no showed in the playoff game.
Not the playoff game.
And he got paid that summer.
Odell Beckham won now killing people at the Super Bowl week?
That's right.
Matter of fact, if he was killing people, we might not have that yacht incident.
If he was killing people, he might still be in New York.
He might still be in town and he might still be effective.
He might be a practice.
He's not all fucking scared.
There's got to be thousands of unsolved mysteries in New York.
I'm telling you this.
If Odell Beckham Jr. had some of that serial killer discipline to his game.
That's the thing people don't understand.
Son, a serial killer.
I mean, well, I don't know if Aaron Hernandez is serious.
He was kind of lazy with it, though.
What?
But he was lazy with getting rid of the body.
But only lazy with the murders.
Son, the guy was waking up.
You know why?
Because he had to wake up to work out.
I don't have time.
I got to get eight hours of sleep so I can be the best football player I can be.
Bak, bop, be out.
Let me be out of here.
I don't got time to find a nice patch for you to be murdered at.
I'm going to murder at you close to home because what's at home?
My jam.
I have to be back.
I have to be back to spend time with my daughter.
What was the first thing he did after murdering his best friend?
Playing with his daughter.
I haven't finished it.
He's a family man.
On the documentary, it sounds like he sounds so sweet to his wife and daughter.
Bro, his wife was committed.
Bow Wowis?
Bow Wowis?
Bowis was about it.
Bow Wow.
Mrs. Wow?
We could say that now, but we would not say that Aaron Hernandez was out there in the world.
No, because he loves her.
He loves her.
She loves him.
Gave up on her whole family.
Okay.
Allowed him to kill her sister's boyfriend.
How good of a boyfriend you got to be?
The chick said it looked like a black blob in his hand.
I'm like, yo, this is clearly the murder weapon.
The day after.
Oh, yeah.
She's in court.
He's holding a gun.
Clearly holding a gun.
They're like, what is that?
I don't know what that is.
She was like, oh, Aaron Hernandez called her and basically said, whatever you're looking for, it's in whatever, right?
So that day, there's footage of her going to pick up some black bag and throwing something in the garbage.
And then they were like, oh, you don't think this is the same?
He's like, oh, it just looks like a black blob to me.
It doesn't look like anything.
I'm like, Legend really took the stand and acted like a five-year-old.
Who's doing that for Odell?
To defend this bitch.
Ain't nobody defending.
Nobody defending his character that knows him.
Who's coming out after the LSU game that knows him?
His teammate.
Baker Mayfield defending Miles Garrett, going to fucking fights with him.
He's trying to kill people.
Odell, he's just like, hey, you know.
I got no comment.
Yo, that's a great point about Baker going to the fight with Miles because that's a statement.
Yeah.
That's the man of your organization that's standing behind Miles Garrett.
I guarantee his manager and other people like, don't associate yourself with him.
You know, he's a bad rep. He assaulted somebody, this, that, the other.
Good for fucking Baker, yo.
I love Baker, yo.
I think I like it.
He's my kind of white boy.
Say what?
That's my kind of white boy.
He's not apologetic about anything.
Yeah.
He's just white and confident, and somehow that became a crime.
He's at those MLK parties.
So timeout.
He's at one of them.
How do you have no problem with Baker Mayfield?
But Odell Beckham is a good person.
I didn't like Baker.
He said something.
I think he kind of called out his teammates at one point this year.
Right.
And I didn't like that.
I haven't heard 10 stories of him doing that.
If it adds up, cool.
In the grand scheme of things, all right, that's one thing.
Outside of the Richard Milley shit, the watch shit for Odell, I didn't really hear shit about that.
Odell literally said week like 15.
I don't know if I'm going to be here next year.
Whatever God has in store for me.
You could easily just no comment that.
Okay.
I don't know if I'm going to be here next year.
It's already causing the controversy of will he be here next year.
But Baker, wasn't Baker talking a lot of shit to a lot of reporters?
Hold on, hold on.
Just acknowledge what it's so blatant that he was a douchebag this year.
You didn't see it?
Asking the other teams to pick him up?
Yes.
I did see him.
Having Tom Brady autographed that gold skin sneakers or whatever the fuck.
Got the opposing quarterback sneakers.
That was hearsay.
And great.
Okay, granted.
No, you had his autograph.
A lot of players do that, though.
A lot of players exchange fucking memorabilia.
Brady asked for Odell's shit because apparently Tom Brady's son is a huge Odell Beckham Jr. fan.
So he gave him the jersey.
He gave him the sneakers.
I'm just saying, if you're going to, like, I understand if you got something against Odell, like, just be like, they were gold skin sneakers that he had Tom Brady signed for that game because he's the ghost.
Bruh, fine.
You're marketing.
That's cool.
But I don't, if I'm a coach, I don't need my best player marketing.
I need him playing.
Nobody talking shit about Jarvis Landry.
It's not a race issue.
Jarvis Landry's great.
He don't talk.
He don't yap.
And let this be clear.
We don't care about Odell Beckham Jr.
It's not, we don't have anything against Odell Beckham Jr.
We have something against a behavior that he is choosing to display.
So if he doesn't display that behavior, then nobody gives a fuck.
He's asking for this himself.
He's making choices.
And Beckham been in the league, what, five, six years?
Like five?
Five?
This is Mayfield's criteria.
Every year.
And if Mayfield does more fucking, and I'll tell you this, I don't like Mayfield doing these Home Depot commercials and his team sucks Dick.
Now, I think he thought the team would be good.
If he films more this offseason and they suck Dick next season, hey, man, the fuck are you doing?
But here's the thing.
When you do those type of commercials, those are multi-year things.
So he's going to be doing them fucking commercials.
Hey, man, you just got to fucking win.
You got to take some smoke if you don't win.
That's what it is.
I think this year was like a nice little grace period.
Everyone has a little sophomore slump or whatever.
That's what I've chalked it up to.
Yeah, it's like, that's why I'm like, bro, you still see it.
Like, you still see the talent in him.
It's not like he's fucking a Ryan Leaf out there that just looks like he fucking forgot how to throw a football.
Like, you still see the immense talent in him.
It's just that sophomore stuff just fucking happened.
Especially when you throw a bunch of brand new players and don't really get protection, but you get these shiny new pieces and toys and you got to make it work because you had one good season as a rookie when nobody had tape on you.
I understand if your second year isn't as good.
This year, though, he got a ball to fucking.
He got a ball out.
He got to ball out.
Pressure's on.
That's it.
I'm with it.
That's fine.
Odell has been in the league five, six years.
I've had enough.
I didn't hate him.
I mean, I hated him his second year because he was with the Giants, but I wasn't talking this shit in his second year.
Whatever.
He's in his second year.
Pressure on the Field00:04:53
But boy, now, fifth, sixth year, you acting more immature than college kids?
He's in a room full of LSU kids.
What LSU kid is slapping the cop's ass?
All right, the cop is an asshole.
Nobody argues that.
Cop is an asshole to the LSU kid with a cigar.
Just won the.
He actually won something.
Odell's never done that in his life.
This kid actually won something.
What does he do?
They're saying this bullshit.
Puts out the cigar, whatever.
Odell, grown-ass man in his mid-20s, slaps the cop's ass and then talks shit to him.
Who's more immature in that situation?
The college kid with something to celebrate or the fucking loser hanging out at the college party?
And apparently, allegedly, they were going to charge him with sexual battery.
And then they were like, they just made it.
They sexually assaulted him.
They just looked at his ass, he fucking licked his mouth and then slapped it.
That guy sexually assaulted that cop.
And he should be horrified.
It was disgusting.
I mean, honestly, if you sent Odell to jail, it wouldn't be that bad for him.
It's like the ideal situation.
I come to football practice because there's these guys that work out all the time.
They're super buff.
The only problem is they don't fuck him.
But this prison shit is lit.
What do you think you do?
Do you think if you go to prison and you're gay, you play coy?
Like you're not gay?
You gotta act like you don't want it.
You know what I mean?
Like these hoes.
The thrills in the chase, bro.
The thrills in the chase.
And honestly, I don't think the prisoners want it if it's easy too.
That's the thing.
Do you thrill?
Do you play the rape card or do you go full gay and then just try to get the guys that want just friction?
Well, I mean, what are you more into?
I assume it's more of a dominance thing than it is I just need to be touched thing.
I think a lot of motherfuckers in there aren't like super gay, but they're just like, I gotta let motherfuckers know our running is.
I'm gonna fuck this pretty ass boy right here.
That's not how my luggage would go at all, but I.
I mean, there's other ways to prove that you're tough.
I wouldn't necessarily say that.
So when you went to jail and you wanted to prove you were tough, how did you establish dominance in Sweden, Al?
Did you put the IKEA furniture together without the wrench?
I'll show you how tough I am.
I'm going to use my pinky nail.
Just slowly screwed it in.
It's funny.
I didn't get any of that feeling in the jails over there.
Explain.
Because you wanted it?
No, I'm talking about there's no like macho.
There's no like, oh, I really like it.
What about when you shower?
You have a private room.
You shower by yourself?
Yeah.
Wow.
It's like a bathroom.
Sounds like a hotel.
And then they lock it and the security guard stands outside of it.
To protect you from rape.
I don't know.
They just very secure of everything that happens.
So it's like you have to write your name that you're going in the bathroom.
You have to write your name if you're doing laundry and all that shit.
So there's a record of everybody going anywhere.
And they didn't put you in like a special jail away from like sweeteners.
No, no, no.
Because you were American.
Yeah, I was right.
You don't think they were giving you special, I don't know, Swedish.
Sweeteners?
Come on.
I sound like muffled.
That's not funny.
Tasty candy right there.
Jesus Christ.
Y'all know what the fuck I meant, goddamn it.
It's not even that rare a company.
But Aaron Hernandez, they were saying what are those fish called?
Sweeteners, fish?
Sweeteners?
Sweeteners, fish?
Sweeteners.
You're not having sweeteners, meatballs every day.
Yeah, listen.
So sweeteners, meatballs, man.
Yo, but in the dock, they were saying that Aaron Hernandez was, he felt so comfortable.
He was just happy that he was in there.
So now he could be openly gay.
He sounded like them phone conversations sounded like he was on vacation, though.
Yeah, like Aaron Hernandez wants most: structure and dick.
You just put them together.
Structure and destructure.
Just collapse that colon.
Dude, imagine banging Aaron Hernandez.
That's a trophy fuck right there.
That is, bro.
Hang that on your wall.
What do gay guys do?
Like, you should have, you know, how like hunters have like the antlers for the.
Yeah, yeah, what is it?
I think I'm a little high, dude.
I think all of us are a little high.
I don't think so.
I said sweeteners.
They have the antlers, right?
You know, the antlers go there, right?
Like, if you were like a big game hunting gay, would you just get like molds of their asses and then hang them all around, hang them all around your like man cave?
Just so like, oh, yeah, that was a Filipino.
I remember taking that down.
A picture of you after you fuck them like this?
They're just gaped wide open.
You got a Pepsi can in there to show what you did.
Oh my God.
I'm just, wouldn't that be crazy?
I didn't know what to say.
You know, there had to be something you put in there.
Maybe a Mexican Coke because it's like that glass bottle.
It's a little slender.
It's a little slender.
But you start with the back end.
It looks impressive.
You start with that back end, bro.
And you can just kind of play with it as it hangs in there.
Bro, that's gay, Cass dude.
What are you doing, bro?
You hold gay on it.
Is that too far?
We were just talking about guys raping guys, bro.
We weren't being gay, dude.
Whoa, dude.
You want to get the little coke?
Humble Fighter Stories00:10:09
Whoa, dude.
Or you could just put them.
Okay, you have like 10 of them bend over, right?
And then you put the Mexican coke bottles down their buttholes, right?
But you do small end first so that the back end is up, right?
And then that glass is flat against their buttholes.
And then you just get a couple like drumsticks.
I was just thinking of that.
Like a Caribbean instrument, you know, like in the you know what I'm saying in the summer like a subway.
Down where it's about.
Down there, it's about to take it from me.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Steel drums are what they call that.
Yes.
They call steel drums.
Steel drums.
Listen, guys, not all these ideas are going to be great.
I had to commit.
You know what I mean?
My back hurts.
Fucking commit.
I got raped.
My fucking guy.
Limbs are still real.
That's how gay you are.
You get raped to ease the pain.
To ease it.
I was like, distract me.
Okay, what else we got, Arkash?
I hadn't got my phone without topics on it because you got my favorite.
Oh, goddamn.
Yeah, the McGregor fight.
McGregor fight.
I actually ordered that shit, man.
You got to bring back flagrant thoughts.
I think I might be high too.
But flagrant thoughts.
I did forget Flavid Day of the week.
Yo, that's a great way to start.
Yo, listen, guys, we're going to start starting with the flagrant thoughts again.
That's way better.
But Connor beating Cowboy.
The great thing about this fight for MMA, for the UFC, for everything is we all want Connor to be dominant.
We all want our most interesting athletes to be successful because it makes the shit talk even better.
And the way that he beat the shit out of Cowboy Cerrone, I mean, in exciting and very, very efficient, quick fashion.
I mean, 40 seconds, it was over.
Now the world is his again.
We forget that he lost.
Yeah, it's like we forget that he, in my opinion, lost both fights against Nate.
They say he won one.
We forget that he got his ass kicked by Khabib.
Like, all those things are gone.
What do they say about sports?
It's like, especially the fight game, like you have amnesia.
Like a big win gives you amnesia.
And that's what happened.
And now we got the situation where the world is his.
He could rematch Floyd, though I'm not that interested, but I'm sure they could find interest in it.
He could fight Masvidal.
He could fight Usman.
Didn't Floyd tweet or Floyd put on IG that they wanted to do the rematch?
And then he put on IG Floyd fighting Khabib.
So he's just fucking around.
But Connor could do whatever he wants now, and we're interested in it because now we can run with the narrative of wow, look how dominant Connor is.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you like Humble Connor?
He was mad fucking humble this year.
So here's the thing.
I think this is the first time we saw Connor fight someone who he really likes.
And I think, and that's why there was no shit talking the promo.
There's no shit talking about it.
Matter of fact, even in the promo and the buildup, he was like, I'm very excited to get Cowboy his first multi-million dollar payday.
And I think he really likes Cowboy.
He respects him.
And he's like, listen, I need a tune-up fight to build some excitement.
Someone I could bust their ass.
This guy deserves it.
I like him.
And he's got a good name.
It'll be a fun buildup.
Now that that's out the way, I think every fight after this is mortal enemy.
Oh, everything's on the table now.
Yeah, everything's on the table.
I would love to see Masvedol.
That was all I was going to say.
I think I tweeted right before the fight.
I'm like, Dana wants this fight more than the oxygen.
McGregor Masvedal fight.
Like, that is.
And Masvedol is playing his smart because Masvedol came out today on, I think, Errol Hawani's podcast.
And he goes, I think I'd rather fight Usman than Connor.
Like, he's trying to fight like he don't want the fight.
But that fight, they both, first of all, they both speak English.
They both can talk shit.
I'm tired of them trying to promote fights where nobody speaks English.
Everything, yeah, the fight is going to be great.
I care about the casual fan.
I'm going to watch it for the striking if it's a boxing.
But the casual fan just cares about personality.
They want to see this flag against this flag.
They want to see this mean guy against nice guy.
I don't know anything about technical fighting.
Exactly.
So you just want to see the beast.
I want to see the interesting people.
Give me the interesting people.
And all I remember about Connor is that he was the only guy I saw out shit talk Floyd.
Oh, he bodied Floyd.
Yo, Floyd looked like sneak up until the fight.
You got a backpack.
You can't even read.
He was doing calls.
Fuck you pinstripes.
Everybody say fuck the man winners.
One, two, three.
Fuck the man winners.
I was like, yo, this ball is a rock star, dog.
Holy shit.
Fuck you, pinstripes, dog.
The fuck the fuck you pinstripes?
He had it all.
Holy shit.
He had it all the way.
But he was talking a lot of shit about how, you know, he felt like doing all that shit let down like his Irish fans, I think.
I think that's why, well, that's what he said, why he wasn't really talking a lot of shit.
Maybe everything you said was correct.
I said, Cowboy.
I would speak to Irish people whenever I was in pubs, right?
And because I'd be asking about his whiskey, which they all say is dog shit.
Really?
I think it's delicious.
Proper 12.
Proper 12 is shit whiskey that the 12 on it is not the years aged.
12 is like the area code for the city of Dublin.
But they put 12 because most people just go, oh, it must be 12 years.
No, no, no, no.
It's like, there's no way that you could have.
Proper 12.
That's proper 12.
So there's no way you could have 12-year-old whiskey because you just started the whiskey business last year.
Did you know 12 years ago before you were ever a millionaire that you were going to have a multi-million dollar whiskey company?
Of course not.
So it's shitty whiskey.
That being said, the branding is beautiful.
And if there's one thing we know about the alcohol game, it has nothing to do with the flavor.
It's all about branding.
It's all about the branding.
It's a rock.
Shitty vodka.
All these things.
Jameson, Jack Daniels, all these things.
It's genius.
So.
Casamigos.
Casamigos is George Clooney.
Yeah.
That's why all these celebs get into it's because it all tastes like shit.
Only like the real alcoholics could tell the difference between like a really nice vodka and another.
They're not trying to sell quality.
They're trying to sell quantity.
Like I'm famous.
I could move these cases.
I'll make a shit ton of money.
Yes, put my name on the bank.
But what were we saying before my high estate made me forget?
You're talking about Irish people.
Oh, yeah.
So every one of these bartenders at the pub would say the same thing.
They'd go, hey, I don't really like Connor anymore.
I go, why not?
He goes, ah, it's too cocky.
It's too brash.
Whatever.
This is while he was winning?
This is maybe in the last year.
So maybe he lost to Khabib, but even before the Khabib fight, you know.
And the same reaction from all of them was, it's not very Irish.
Like, we're not very arrogant people.
We're not people.
We're kind of humble, and we don't like seeing our celebs be too arrogant and brash.
We like seeing our celebs be nice.
I mean, look at the U2 guy.
He got to try to save the planet just so Irish people like him still.
Right?
Like he was chief Bono.
Yeah.
He got to pretend he's blind so people like him still.
Right.
Like he wears these glasses because he's light.
It's constant humility just to keep the home team on your side.
Not like Americans.
We love the most arrogant.
Look at our president every single day.
We love athletes to be arrogant as fuck, bro.
Like, we are the best.
We want to shit on you every time we can.
We want to pump USA, shoot guns, big tits.
Like, that is America.
Now, here's the thing: I think it's easy to say someone is arrogant when they're losing.
And nobody wants to stop liking a winner.
And I really think that Connor knows that his bread is buttered in America and not Ireland.
And he knows what works in America.
And I think he will try to appeal to the Irish fans.
He'll wrap that flag around himself.
But when it's time to cut a promo, you're going to see the arrogance come out.
He came out after the fight.
Like he's pretty humble the whole time.
And after the fight, he was like, you know, all these fools.
He's like, I'll take on any one of these, whatever the fuck he called them.
Yeah, fools, whatever.
Like, just, you know, he was still trying to be humble.
He's still trying to, you know, thank everybody for support.
Yada, yada, yada.
Like, it's great.
He's like hugging Cowboy's mom or grandma and shit, like doing real classy shit.
But, you know, like, everybody wants that McGregor bag, bro.
He's the MMA's Mayweather.
It's like, everybody knows if you fight this motherfucker, you're probably going to get the biggest payday of your life.
Most pay-per-view.
I ordered the fucking pay-per-view.
I'm like, I've never ordered fucking MMA pay-per-views.
I'll stream the show.
I was like, no, I want to watch out on my big TV.
And fucking, granted, it was a quick fight.
I got what I paid for.
I want to see a motherfucker be a star.
I want to see the famous dude that I came to watch.
I don't want to see him get knocked out.
I want to see that sad shit.
I want to see some cool fucking shit.
And he delivered, bro.
So, like, kind of like shouts to Izzy, by the way, Izzy's going to fight Romero.
Yeah.
Which will be a tough fight.
I think that's why he's been in the gym all the time.
All these pictures I see of Izzy, he's like lifting weights.
I've never seen lifting weights before, but Romero is a big, muscular motherfucker with a wrestling background.
He's more of a striker now, but he is a big motherfucker and a legend.
And he's had, I don't know, he's coming off a few losses, but he's still a legend in that division.
And Izzy is going to obviously take care of business.
Izzy got that, son.
Yeah, he's worked cut out for them because Romero is going to try to strike with Izzy, and nobody can strike with Izzy.
Now, if Romero starts wrestling, that's where it gets tricky because Izzy's background is not wrestling.
And Romero's been wrestling since he's a kid in Cuba, right?
So it will be an interesting situation.
If Romero checks his ego and just says, hey, I'm bringing this to the ground, then it's going to be Izzy's going to have to catch him.
But I think Izzy catches him or goes.
Now, if Romero even tries to exchange with him, that's lights out.
I think that's lights out.
One thing I was going to say about the fight, did you see at the weigh-in or whatever, who was like, who was the girl that was supposed to be he literally?
Can you explain this to me?
Romero vs Izzy Matchup00:02:47
There's a video that went viral at Best Buy that some guy tried to like shoplift and run out of the store, and this bitch just gets in the way, this Hawaiian girl, and just starts blocking like a straight offensive line.
She's like, Ferguson.
Like, perfect form.
I was like, God damn, she was low and low center of gravity.
I was like, whoever the best left tackle in the league is, that's what the fuck is.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say because I'm a Cowboy fan, but I don't know if there's somebody better.
But then Dana White was like, this is amazing.
I'm going to take care of this girl, whatever.
He said something.
I guess she got fired from Best Buy.
Oh, he got fired.
I guess he's doing too much.
But God damn, like.
Look at this Samoan ass bitch.
Bro, protect that corner.
More got fired?
Yeah, for that.
I guess she was doing a little bit more.
She was too physical, they said.
I mean, the guy's trying to steal a big box item.
Fuck this dude.
And isn't there some?
I've never worked retail, but anybody who's worked retail, can't you like legally not chase them out?
Those are the words.
You're not supposed to do anything, right?
Let them go.
Right.
They told me that shit.
I was working for Quicksilver Boy Bridge Club, and they said, listen, if anybody steals and they run out, just let them go.
And I remember looking at my boss, like, you thought I was going to chase for $8.50 an hour, I was going to chase someone who was willing to commit a crime for $8.50 an hour.
You really thought that?
Oh, my God.
Mind-boggling to me.
To steal a shirt that's probably not even worth the wage you're getting.
Son, what's the incentive to not steal, though?
What is that again?
What's the incentive to not steal?
You high, son.
I know, because I can't put that sentence together.
What's stopping me from stealing then?
Oh, what's stopping you from stealing?
People don't know that security.
About 100 plus thousand people just found out.
I mean, there's more security.
I guess that's their job.
Sometimes there's some very intimidating female security guards in their little business suits.
No, no, no.
You know what they give them female security guards in gray pants and that little blue blazer?
Like, that's supposed to stop me from stealing.
Son, that's the green light.
If I see some like 5-4 black chick with cornrows and a fucking tattoo, she's Snoop.
She looks like Snoop or young man.
I'm like, you know what?
You got it.
She looks like she plays center for the New York Liberty.
I'm like, you know what?
You got it.
I'm not chasing you.
But for real, think about that.
Even security guards.
Like, what?
I did security for a little bit when I was doing law enforcement just for some side money.
And I was in Trader Joe's, and they told us the same thing.
Like, even though I'm here as a security guard, if I see somebody steal, I'll just call a manager.
Don't who steal the organic pair?
Nah, yo.
You know who stole them most?
Who?
Old motherfuckers.
Oh, word.
Yeah, old ladies.
They're trying to play dumb.
Old ladies.
Who would they steal?
Like anything.
They don't give a fuck.
They don't even try to hide it.
What do they do?
Like, they just walk in, they'll put it, they'll come in with their bag.
They just put it in the bag and they leave.
Security Guard Tales00:15:21
So they forget.
Nah.
That's what they make.
You think that's for Jig, bro?
They're up on game.
They know that note.
They can't do shit.
Low-key, I think my dad induced his own Alzheimer's.
I really think so.
He can steal shit.
Not just steal shit.
I truly believe that what he did was he found a way to stop listening to my mom.
Because sometimes when my mom talks, I'll be trying to tune it out.
And I think what my dad did is got so good at tuning it out, he's just tuned everything out.
Yo, I have a bit about real talk because he'll be asking me shit, like, you want to get some food?
And I'll be like, nah, it's good.
And a few minutes later, he'll be like, you want to go get some food?
And I'll be like, you really not listening.
And I'm like, you're a genius.
I have a bit about how I envy dudes with Alzheimer's.
Like, you don't ever have to remember nothing this girl said.
Yeah.
My girl expects me to remember every fucking thing she's ever said in the history of our relationship.
And you know what?
She'll be more appreciative when you remember anything.
Well, if I have Alzheimer's, you have Alzheimer's.
Yeah, but I remember one thing.
She can start tearing up.
You got to establish that shit early, bro.
You got to establish that you don't remember shit early.
I've done a good job of that.
I don't, I establish, I don't remember my memory is shit though.
Early.
Early.
My memory was great till I met my girl.
Now she'd just be filling up my memory bank.
With what?
I got a joke about this.
I say, you ever watched the movie where the ship is sinking and there's water coming in the boat and the fucking sailors?
I said, the boat is my memory and the water is her shitty story.
She's trying to stay afloat.
Does she hear you talk about her stories being bad?
And then, like, does she try to spice them up?
No, I think because I put her so much in my act, she's like, whatever I'm doing is making us money.
So fuck it.
Just keep talking.
That's what's going on.
She's leaned into that.
I don't know.
Because she sees, she'll go to my shows.
She listens to it.
To her credit, she doesn't ever give me shit about my material ever.
Yeah.
Which is great because I make fun of her all the time.
But I think a part of her is like, this is great.
Hey, listen, I get to act how I act.
He makes money.
This is all perfect.
He gets material.
That's lovely.
I would assume that's what you would do.
That's what I'm saying.
Is there anything that you won't make a joke about that she does?
I don't.
I mean, I'm sure if we have like a really bad fight or whatever, but I even have a joke about a pretty big fight we got into now.
I did it with her in Helium, and it was actually kind of fun.
She was in the audience because it was like a moment where I could be like, oh, baby, you don't know how to do this on stage yet.
And then I'll be like, you ask her, her version probably different.
And then she's there listening to it for the first time.
And then afterward, didn't bring it up.
Wasn't like a car fight and we were going home.
She would just rock with it.
Do you think she's saving it?
You know how like chipmunks hide chest.
I'll tell you something.
My girl don't save nothing.
Really?
She's not a saver.
She spends each fight.
She's listening all right there.
So she spends these fights.
Yep.
You know, as soon as she gets done, she got gold.
Like a kid with fucking Sally Mae money doesn't own it anyway.
Yo, I don't even think about this college loan shit.
Like maybe we got to cut that out.
Yeah.
Yo, that's why Bernie got my vote, bro.
Who?
That's why Bernie got my vote.
Who's Brandy?
Bernie Sanders.
No, Brandy.
Oh, I didn't mean like we pay it off.
Just cancel it.
No, I didn't mean that.
I meant like stop giving it out.
I mean, how are they going to go to school?
Say what?
How are they going to go to school?
Everybody got to go to school.
Yeah.
We're the only people not going to school.
Say again.
There's going to be a lot of people not going to school.
Look at, listen, it's very important to have an educated populace.
Yeah.
Right?
But it hasn't really worked out for us so far.
Right?
Like, I, you know, I want to sit back here and say, oh, it's so important that we're so educated.
But like, I don't think people learn that much after all.
Five people in here all got college degrees, I assume.
Yeah.
Who of us is using a college degree?
I used a little math once at a diner, not for a bill.
Nah.
And me and the waiter had to do it together.
I think I spoke about it in the podcast, right?
But I use a little bit of some algebra there.
Other shit from school.
I don't know.
Like, with all this shit available on the internet, on Reddit, documentaries, documentaries.
You know what I mean?
Documentaries I've watched.
We just took an Aaron Hernandez history class.
Aaron Hernandez.
Like, look, I don't know if college is as necessary with the internet now.
Before the internet, you need to go to college just so you could be around the books.
But now with the internet, Al taught himself how to do a whole fucking audio visual shit.
Eden, did you go to school for anything?
You did?
Wow, Al better than you with that shit.
Well, that makes you fucking caser.
But my point is, like, you went to school for film, and you know, you've probably used YouTube to learn other shit.
Oh, undoubtedly.
Just as effective, isn't that?
Most of the stuff has been outside of school.
Isn't that crazy?
And you have a more traditional background, like you understand lighting and all these balances and all that kind of stuff.
100%.
But you can learn that shit from the online.
Oh, yeah.
No doubt.
I'm going to be honest with you guys.
We got to cut out school.
I think I'm high.
Yo, think about this.
Let's go back.
Let's go back to you being high.
While we're all high, now we can have a nice high pontificate conversation.
I like it.
I studied psychology in school.
Gay?
Gay.
Gay, bros.
I did it too.
Right.
Look.
So, study psychology in school, right?
I read one Malcolm Gladwell book.
Yeah.
It referenced every single study that I took in school.
What's the point?
What's the point of this college shit?
It's a racket, B. I'm good.
I had enough.
No, hit that one more time.
It's not even weed.
Go now.
We're in it.
Where else are you going to?
Fuck.
I just forgot.
Are we all crazy?
Are you sure this is a CBD?
Shout out to CBD company, Gary.
Next story, goddamn.
Hold on.
Yeah, this shit is hot.
This got a little weed in the top.
Oh, no, it's 16% weed.
16%.
Nah, we're getting high.
Oh, nah, we're getting high.
My bad.
I got it.
My bad.
Nah, because that is.
My bad.
My bad.
Nah, that's all me.
That's exactly this game.
That's all me.
What can I do?
What can I do at this point?
Oh, my God.
You're already here.
I'm going to leave the podcast.
Just tell them to pay me more money.
That's all.
Oh, hold on.
Hold on.
We already here, man.
Oh, that gets a little hot.
Yo, the back end of it takes a little kick at the end.
All right.
So back to this school loan shit, right?
We should take some edibles, too.
Oh, you can keep that shit, bro.
What?
I did not fall to edit.
What's the THC on them?
Yeah, you got to.
I'm not the CBD.
It's just CBD.
Oh, this all CBD?
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I'm taking them all.
Okay, so.
It's just OD on CBD.
Imagine we OD on CBD.
That'd be so funny.
Shout out to Raddix Remedies.
Shout out to Raddix.
Yo, we need more real talk.
Andrew using it all up.
Son, I got it.
I brought it here so we would all have it.
Real talk.
Shout out to Radix Remedies.
Go to RadixRemedies.com slash Flagrant, man.
And use our code.
I just came from the gym, too.
This feels good.
Good CBD.
Do a little CBD after work.
But for real, check out that website, man.
Bring that website up real quick because I want to give them the realest, most organic situation.
They hit us up afterwards, by the way.
First episode, and they said that the Flagrant 2 asshole army was running into the store, not playing around.
Honestly, Radix, RaddixRemedies.com.
Use our code Flagrant.
You go to RadixRemedies.com/slash Flagrant.
They got a dope cannabis giveaway.
I mean, they got these pre-rolled joints that are CBD.
We thought, I think they snuck some weed in ours because I feel a little fucked up.
I'm not going to lie.
They have this free giveaway, right?
Check it out.
This is what happens.
You get an eighth of weed a week or cannabis or CBD, whatever it is.
The flower, okay?
Looks just like a joint.
You get an eighth a week for a year.
All you got to do is sign up for that.
Yeah.
The eighth is a nice amount, too.
Yo, these gummies are just probably these.
What's these?
It's like a shower bath kib.
Oh, yeah.
They got sweet words.
They got this shit called NeuroRoot.
This is crazy.
It's for focus.
First of all, it's kind of cannabis nootropic, right?
It's got phospha to dalkaline.
It's using any of their tinctures.
Proves your mood, your memory, cognitive function.
I get my pops on this shit.
You get the effects of coline in 15 minutes as opposed to the hour and a half that it takes to kind of step into your system.
CBD plus the choline.
You're not playing around.
They got those pills I was going to give to you for a sleep time with the melatonin.
Be careful with those.
You'll sleep like a fucking baby.
Just be very careful with those.
And you got which I think my favorite thing is, is the CBD joints.
Because I like having a little smoke.
I like having a little smoke.
It's relaxing.
It's relaxing.
Just bring it on the rope.
Yo, 100%.
The pre-rolls.
I got a grip of the pre-rolls.
Yeah.
Boom.
That's kind of what I want after a show.
Son.
That's perfect.
That's what I'm saying.
I was just telling Al after we're that like after a show, I don't know how to speak.
I don't know how to speak.
I don't know how to speak.
Hey, y'all.
What's up?
It's Chelsea.
I don't know how to speak.
So I was just telling Al, right?
Al, there's been a couple of times where I've been like, the fuck did you just say when you said, what was the name of the store you worked in?
Quicksilver boarding?
Quicksilver Board Riders Club.
I had to use context clues to figure out what you were.
I'm assuming the Quicksilver shorts, right?
That's what it is.
Yeah, when you said, maybe it's just hard to say, but he was like, Quicksilver prison?
I was like, okay, yeah.
I'll be honest, when I said it, I was like, damn, I nailed that.
I literally was so confident.
I was like, I said all those words in a row mad fast.
They're probably not even catching up with me.
Too coherent.
Too coherent.
Your boy out here.
Too coherent.
I'll just use contents because I'm assuming that's what he meant.
So what happens after a show is I'll have a drink because the energy is so high and it's so intense and I wanted a nice come down.
And what I've realized.
He's so hot that just the word come down made him laugh.
I wanted a nice come down.
Don't sound like a dad.
That don't sound not gay.
I don't get it.
What do you mean?
Show I just wanted a nice thing.
Like calm down.
Is it like come the actual sperm?
Just requesting that.
It sounded like, you know, you get like hosed down.
Oh, that's where he wanted it.
You really did smoke himself.
So he smoked himself racist.
He smoked himself.
He hoes down.
He smoked himself almost.
That's not racist.
That's a southern thing.
Oh, the hose down?
I'm thinking of like, you know.
Are you talking about hosing down Martin Luther King on his fucking birthday, dude?
Come on, guys.
Have some respect, man.
No, M.O.K. was not hosed down.
He was taking him hosed down, though.
Shout out to the GOAT, man.
There was something there, but I was too high to think of it.
You were too high to think of it.
Sometimes that shit just be flowing, bro.
Quicksilver borers come.
Say that shit 10 times fast.
You motherfuckers.
Quicksilver borebrows cup.
Pinky rang on a pinky ring, big little bitch.
Careful.
What is the line the future says?
100 grand, cheapest ring on a pinky rang, little bitch.
Say it again.
100,000 cheapest.
It's like 100,000 for the cheapest ring on a finger, little bitch.
But there's an N-word there.
There's something missing.
100 grand on a rang, little bitch.
Woo.
No.
100 grand on the cheapest ring on a motherfucker to suck my dick.
Who?
Oh, yeah.
100 grand, cheapest ring on the finger, little bitch.
You can say the word, bro.
I know.
I'm saying it for you.
Not only are you black, you are dressed in purple.
That makes you double black.
100,000, cheapest ring on the finger, little bitch.
Woo.
Oh, that was Anyway, I think what I've always wanted for the come down after the show is what the effects that we'd give me.
But sometimes weed is too intense.
I'll be hungover the next day.
But this feeling that I have right now, this relaxation, the mood is set.
Y'all feel it in your tits?
I feel it.
No motion.
Y'all feel in your tits or not?
Nah.
I feel like if you touch your tits, it would feel it in my tits.
Y'all feel it.
Can you touch your tits, Aka?
Nah.
Yo, yo, yo.
I've never seen Ah so pink.
Son, pop that titty, bro.
Just go like that with it.
Pop that city one time.
Nah, dog.
I'm good.
I don't violate it, Kevin.
Come on, bro.
Obj him, dog.
I can't even be doing that.
Objev, dog.
Obi Jadem, son.
I'm pressing charges, yo.
Really?
What?
Oh, gosh.
If he wants it, if I want it, bro, he's already a switch.
I'm going to get it.
Nothing I could do.
Bro.
What would you do?
I'll jump in and out of the screen.
I'd run.
I'm shifty.
I'm mad shifty.
I got long arms, bro.
Whoa.
I got a lot of long on me.
Whoa.
I can grab it.
Whoa, son.
I'm getting a little stiffy over here.
Yeah, I think I'm too high.
You think you're a Ritter Red Hot?
I'm a River Red Hot.
A real?
Hey.
A real or that's what I'm saying.
We might need this.
Go check out Radica.
Shout out Radica.
See if y'all fucks with it.
What's up?
I gotta apologize.
I think I'm responsible for your back.
Hey, yo!
Revelations.
Chapter 12, verse 10.
Tell them that already, dog.
My bad.
So we were in.
Did you say Reverations?
I said Revelations.
We were in New Orleans and I bought a Voodoo doll and put like put Andrew's hair on it and we were fucking with it a little bit.
He was like, yo, don't fuck with that shit.
I don't fuck with that shit.
I don't trust Voodoo dolls.
I think that shit works.
He wants to.
Anybody want to do that?
Oh, but do you think that you fucked my backup with the voodoo doll?
I might have.
You fucked the voodoo doll?
I mean, that's how you broke his back.
I broke that back.
What'd you do, Dick?
Yeah.
Do you have the voodoo doll?
Come down.
Oh, man.
Oh, yeah, I should have brought it in.
You should bring the voodoo doll for any type of Andrew Pisson.
Y'all don't feel like touching your tits.
Not even a little bit.
Y'all don't even like that.
Just my sweatsuit's so tight, bro.
That's why my sweatshirt's so tight.
So the sweatsuit doesn't rip the nipple already.
Y'all really got to look at the YouTube and see this outfit cat's war.
This shit is crazy.
You do look like a laughing.
I had some good ones before.
So you said I look sweet and delicious, is what you're saying.
That you want to put in your mouth.
He looks sweet for sure.
That he could put in my mouth for a long time.
Whoa.
Some of you don't win like that.
No, that's funny.
It's off the road.
The number of times I've done that dance, unironically, in college.
Yo, motherfucker, I used to fuck up a Laffy Taffy back in college, bro.
Really?
I used to do the fucking toss-up and do.
College Prank Memories00:13:51
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I got that one still.
Oh, man.
That's the best time.
That whole shit, y'all didn't start that, bro.
That started with fucking Laugh Ataffey.
Hold up on that.
Oh, the fucking bad.
The franchise boys.
Son.
Oh, God.
My back.
Bro.
My neck.
Yo, you got to try.
You got to rub that cream on your back.
Acupuncture, son.
You really think acupuncture works?
Son.
It worked for me.
You don't think that that's their little trick?
Yeah, but I went in there.
I went in there.
You just think it's trick.
To do what?
Well, obviously, what they're trying to accomplish.
Oh, it does release tension.
Which is what?
Huh?
What are they trying to accomplish?
You know what they're trying to accomplish, bro.
What are they trying to accomplish?
What are they trying to accomplish?
I don't know, yo.
You got something?
I don't know.
I thought I would by the time I thought I would by the time I saw it.
I really thought I would have it.
And then nothing came, dog.
Oh, I had one good joke in New Orleans.
Yeah.
I got to go.
Yeah, we can double up.
What the fuck?
There's another one?
Son.
I thought that was only cool.
Come on, bro.
You know how we do?
Come on.
Come get this Alex Paul.
Yeah, we've been going for this.
Yeah, we still come super gay.
Second or saliva touches all of us pretty much.
Imagine hearing Barney tell you to come get it, son.
You know what's crazy?
He looked gayer than Barney.
Facts, bro.
Barney's arms too short to rape.
That is true.
A T-Rex out here?
Unless he like tail raped you.
Yeah.
Like if Barney wrapped the tail around.
Yeah, that'd be crazy.
I mean, you look crazy.
I mean, you look like you got that palsy, dog.
He did look like he had that palsy.
Go back to that palsy, son.
Kaz out here rocking the bells.
You rocking them bells, bro.
It's like a Jay-Z tour.
Just imagine the tail around somebody.
We got it.
We got it.
Everybody high.
There's definitely some T-A.
Everybody's high, yo.
I mean, Kaz is literally dancing like a retard.
Son, he's doing the Michael J. Fox and the cordovers.
Son, how would they laugh each happy?
Wait, wait, you got to throw it up.
Son, how would a T-Rex laugh eat Taffy?
Just T-Rex that shit, dog.
Give me the lager first.
My fault.
Son, you're so pretty about it.
You look like Farnsworth Bentley in the laughing Tappy.
Yo, what happened to Fonzor Bentley, yo?
Wow.
Wow.
God damn.
Nah, fuck with Mr. Bentley.
We know you fucked with him.
You gave him that.
Yo, nah, bro.
What?
How else he died?
I don't know.
I know he had one fire song with like.
I know he had 19 pairs of khakis.
Yeah.
That guy had a fucking wardrobe.
Umbrellas off the ass, bro.
Oh, yeah.
That guy had an umbrella like fucking Barry Poppins.
Get the fuck out of here, yo.
Nah, look at that chicken attendee.
He had that, don't stop dancing.
Don't stop.
Don't stop.
Anybody listen to that gay ass song?
That show was fire.
I had Andre 2000 comments.
How long?
Why are you still coming like Tibeto, son?
It's all right.
You stretch your arms out, dog.
I thought I was still Barney.
Put my arms out.
My bad.
Yo, I thought Jadena was Farnsworth Bentley for the longest.
Hold on, son.
Yo, that's Alpha Malfonzi.
What was Jadena's song about?
I'm a classic, man.
I can't.
He what?
He Ebo Nigerian.
He's not from the.
He's not gang.
He's not Euroba?
Nah, he's not Euroba.
He's Ebo.
Ebos they bodied out of there.
I mean, they're a little bit more.
You know, they fought a war.
The Euroba and the Ausa came together to fight a war to fuck the Egos up.
That's not what happened at all.
I did.
Oh, well, I'll be damned.
Well, that's why there's Ebos outside of Nigeria.
Mostly in like UK, right?
No, no, in Africa.
Other African countries.
No.
He could be.
Because the Euroba and the Ausa.
He remembers every fucking random thing you tell him.
I remember.
So the Euroba and the Ausa, they were, they were beefing first.
But then they were like, yo, we got to body these Ebos.
We got to get these Ebos out of here.
Why motherfuckers?
Because they kind of bought their own thing.
Now, the one thing about the Ebos, though, they're food slaps.
Someone said that to me.
They got the best Jell-Off?
No, they don't have the best Jelloff.
Like, Nigerians, Joel Off Rice is like pretty standard to the wrong.
I've been on record of saying this.
I'm like, God, Angeloff kind of slaps a little bit more, bro.
I think what they have are these like chicken skewers.
Right.
It's like a skewer festival.
They are.
I forget the name of it, but it's a big deal.
Holy fuck.
Oh, my mom isn't listening to this.
She's listening.
Yeah.
She's watching.
She's already going to be tight that we're smoking rarely.
I've been trying to put my mom on the CD.
Yo, moms would love CBD.
I've been trying to tell her my mom.
I listen, like, I wouldn't do that.
My mom high would be the funniest shit ever.
Now, CBD stands for circumcised black dick.
Is that what it stands for?
Because that's what I think I've been smoking all fucking episode.
Do you guys think that?
What?
Four-skinned dick.
Circumcised black dick.
You got to learn how to smoke it cooler, Akash.
Can you just try again, but look cool?
Yeah, like just grab it.
Just grab it.
No, no, Grab it by the filter.
Grab it by the filter.
Look cool.
Look as if you're trying to look cool.
Like.
Yeah, peer pressure.
No, no, no.
You're not in a commercial.
Listen.
Like, grab it, like, chill.
Like, yeah.
There it is.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Suck that down.
Hey, there it is.
There the fuck it is.
And don't look so difficult in the face.
So difficult in the face?
You look difficult in the face.
What is looking difficult in the face?
Honestly, I think I know his foot.
Huh?
Are you fucking smart?
Honestly, no bullshit.
Can you grab it with your toe fingers and try to smoke it?
It would make me feel really happy.
Nah, I don't have the dexterity you would think I have with these things.
You don't?
You, I think, could.
You got the hip flexors.
Yeah, but my back is pulled because of Alex with his fucking voodoo dog.
Did you talk about on the podcast about sniffing your girl's butt?
I didn't talk about that?
No.
Because I walked into the apartment.
It smelled like shit.
And I was like, you took a shit?
And she was like, no.
And I was like, let me sniff your butthole to make sure.
So I put my nose up in there.
Like, truffle pig.
I went right up in there like this.
Is there some truffle back there?
And I got up deep up in that.
Son, who does that shit?
Nah.
He's crazy.
Why did the house smell like shit?
What did it smell like?
Some shit.
I wonder why.
Probably dudes out there banging my girl taking shit before I got home.
But then I went and smelled that butthole like this.
I got.
He's crazy.
Son.
He's really.
Son, I got in there.
I got in there, Akash.
Is that.
I thought I was imagining that stuff.
I thought it was high, dog.
Molly fuck.
I don't know why it's floating.
That's something that we're all sitting in.
It's like an ash or something.
You see a little black speck?
I thought, that's why I stopped looking at you for a bit and I was going down.
What are you?
Son, I thought I was imagining that.
Shut up, dead ass high?
No, there was a little black speck that fucked.
He got a spill all over my side.
Yo.
What's up?
I'm like, what the fuck are y'all looking at?
That's really some flour.
I've seen CBD more often.
Shout out to Radix Hermities.
Shout out to Radix Hermities.
On gang.
Yo, real talk.
Al, y'all hitting this?
Yeah.
Can you come over?
Because my back is broken, obviously.
Dr. Zeda Becky Adamie.
All right.
So, Akash, what is your greatest fear in life?
That's crazy.
What's your greatest fear?
Yo, being buried alive, actually.
Really?
Yeah, I'm mad.
Claustrophobic.
Mad claustrophobic.
Oh my gosh.
Wait a minute, really?
Mad claustrophobic.
Wait, seriously, that's your biggest fear?
But how about I legit, like, for about half a second every time I'm on the elevator, my brain is like, what if this shit gets stuck?
Am I going to die here?
Oh, shit.
You really are.
I'm legit, yeah.
That never crossed my mind.
No, never.
What crosses your mind in an elevator?
If the elevator gets stuck, who are you going to blow?
To get in the middle of the morning.
The P corner.
You got to decide the P corner.
Ah, that's a good point.
I don't think that's that difficult a decision.
You got to pee.
You pee in a corner.
That's the P corner.
You're going to be in the city.
You're the first person to pee.
Yeah.
You're going to pick up how many people are in there.
Then it's like you took up one of the sleeping corners and shit like that.
I would try to pee into the door so a little would go down the thing.
Yeah, you pee right under the center crack pee.
But if you miss it, it just hits you right back.
I think that's a good ass point.
That's a good point.
I didn't consider that.
You got a point at the bottom of the crack.
You know what I would do?
I'd pee between my legs like a tranny.
But I'd tuck my dick in between my legs and pee down through my balls.
But it's still on the floor.
I don't understand.
You just pissed all of your balls.
Why is your reason?
I don't know what I was thinking right there.
That was a CBD.
That was a CBD.
Sorry, guys.
I didn't know.
We ain't take the focus ones.
I'll tell you that much.
No, damn sure.
No, I didn't get that neural root.
Anyway, how'd we get into this?
So, claustrophobia, your biggest fear.
Yeah, what's yours?
My biggest fear?
Yeah.
Ooh.
Your sexuality?
No, you know what my biggest fear is?
And I don't even want to say it because it'd be so fucked up.
But maybe losing my hearing.
Really?
Because then you can't perform.
You know?
It's like your voice goes.
It starts to sound all retardy.
But also, it's true.
It does, right?
Right?
You heard them.
Is he wrong?
My hearing aid.
You know what I mean?
It's a little fucked up.
No.
Hey, what Creed movie are they going to get to where the bitch starts sounding like that?
Yo.
I cannot wait.
Creed 10.
Tessa Thompson is going to start.
Queed.
They just call it Queed.
Apollo.
Apollo Queen.
Her music just gets getting worse and worse, and he's got to lie to her about how good it is.
Wonky.
Wonky.
Wonky Mamo.
Anyway, what was I saying, though?
Your biggest fear is losing.
Oh, because then if you perform, you can't hear the reaction.
Yeah.
It would be heartbreaking.
So I lose the thing I love most, comedy.
That would be probably my biggest fear.
Or being like injured so badly in something, like some sort of crash, where like you just can't have a normal life, but you're still alive.
That would be tragic as well.
Oh, yeah.
If I'm paralyzed or quadripoise, take me out.
You want out?
Yeah, I went out.
You want to die, die.
Same.
Take me out, bro.
What's your biggest fear, Alex, besides white women?
Fuck, I'm so high.
I fucking joke, yo.
Fuck y'all.
Dude, bitch.
I had a lot of emotions.
I am a bitch, yo.
That is messed up.
Whatever, yo.
I tried my best.
The playoffs are going to be really exciting, bro.
Like, any one of the slow, painful deaths.
So, like, cancer.
Oh, fry.
Oh, shit.
Fire.
Burning a lot.
That's what I want to say.
Thirst?
Thirst.
Oh, I didn't even.
Dying of thirst.
Think of that.
That's miserable.
I thought about suffocating, like being in the water.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Drowning.
I heard drowning is supposed to be euphoric.
Is it?
I heard.
Yo, what the fuck?
Really?
I mean, I don't know.
Because you're floating a little?
I don't know.
I almost drowned as a kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, my brother saved my life.
What happened?
One of my uncles was watching me.
A guy wasn't doing shit clearly.
And I was playing on a pool.
Was like three years old, and I was on the step, and nobody was watching me, and I just fell into like the five-foot water or whatever.
I'm legit three years old.
I remember this.
I remember looking around, not understanding what was happening.
I could see like a leaf in the water or whatever.
I'm down there for a little while, and then my brother's friend is like, Yo, wasn't your brother over there on the other end of the pool?
And then my uncle was just like, He was drowned?
He's a motherfucker in retrospect.
I'm just like, What the fuck are you doing?
Yo, you have one job.
Make sure I don't die, dude.
I have a worse story.
I was on a family vacation.
Fuck up, yo.
You have to get that back.
I feel you.
You get that.
So I'm on family vacation and shit.
Yeah.
It's a couple of my cousins there.
A few of them are older than me.
So the pool was one of those that goes from three feet to six feet or some shit like that.
So we were playing the game where you would run from the deep end and jump and make it to the shallow end.
And I was the shortest and the youngest at the time.
So when it was my turn, I did it.
I land right in five feet, start drowning instantly.
So at the pool, at the pool, as my aunt, my backer, and like three of my cousins there.
Yeah, they're looking at me, laughing, and this old white lady jumps in the pool and saves my life.
Family Vacation Mishaps00:02:27
That's where it started.
Oh, it all makes sense now.
Doesn't it?
Wow.
You want these white bitches to save you, bro?
Just $10,000 a year.
Save you from your black ass aunts.
Dude, that's fucking crazy.
But it was a good experience right after that same trip.
I learned that.
Of course, it was a good experience.
Of course, you did, son.
You had to.
You've been chasing that same white woman high your whole life.
You had to learn how to swim to fuck these white women.
Facts.
They don't put up with that shit more than once.
I love it.
They'd be at the beach.
Bro.
Yeah.
How long is this episode, yo?
I feel like we started this show.
Oh, yeah.
We got two hours already?
Son, this shit flew by.
Y'all want to take our tits out and rub it?
No, guys, please no.
Please, no.
I really wanted to.
Yo, I thought we were bonding.
All right.
Let's be honest, Patreon.
Just say that Patreon episode.
It's a regular.
This is Monday night, bro.
It's a regular episode.
You can be a Patreon.
Real talkie.
Yo, yo, listen.
Listen.
Listen.
That Radix goes.
I ain't going to front.
That Radix goes.
We got sushi that is on decky.
I cannot wait to eat this fucking sushi.
Okay.
Thank y'all for listening.
You know what we're going to do very soon, by the way?
We're going to give you a tour of the new studio.
Show studio is officially going to get the whole tour.
So we're going to drop that soon.
Obviously, added a fourth show in Los Angeles.
Go get that.
And there's some tickets left for the Alabama show this Sunday.
DandreShows.com for all the other tickets.
Akash, what you got for him?
I am in Sacramento at the punchline, January 29th.
We had a show in Tacoma on the 28th, but we moved it because I would have had to miss an extra episode of the podcast.
And fuck that.
So we're going to figure out a new date for that.
But punchline on the 20th.
30th, 31st, and February 1st, we're at Rooster T Feathers in San Jose.
February 6th, we're in Nashville, Tennessee at Zaney's.
February 8th, we're at the Laughing Skull in Atlanta.
March 12th through 14th, we're at the Comedy Nest in Montreal.
I'm so fucking hyped to go to Canada.
Y'all better come through, man.
I better see Matt Diseys.
Whoever you got in Toronto, y'all better come through.
Toronto, you have Toronto?
Toronto, not yet.
I said Toronto.
I'm in Montreal.
Montreal still.
Montreal, we got some love up there, man.
Go spread some love.
Last date, the 27th, March 27th, the den in Chicago.
Chi-Town comes.
Montreal Comedy Show00:01:05
Yo, shy down.
Come out, man.
I really want you to do Toronto.
We're going to work with me too, yo.
I feel like I get love out there.
Great city.
I think you would.
Fantastic.
I think you do really well out there.
Absolutely.
That's the city I get hit up the most when you come into my city.
It's Toronto by far the most Toronto shows, love.
Love it.
Cash, what are you doing besides returning that outfit?
After I rubbed my dick in it a few times, uh, I'll be in uh Aspen this week with uh doing the X games.
Oh, shit, it should be tight.
I'm high, it's gonna be lit.
And then after that, uh, Saturday, I'm hosting a stream with Cricket Wireless for the Royal Rumble for the New Day, which should be tight.
And uh, wait, what?
I said, What you say, cricket actor, my ears parked up.
I said, Who are playing cricket?
Yeah, nah, so uh, Aspen this weekend and uh, Houston, uh, it's gonna be lit.
If you guys are out there or see me, you know what to do, just throw it out and you know, show love, Andrew, yo, man, y'all know where to get theandrewshows.com.