Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh debate a Bronx girl's alleged kidnapping hoax to avoid returning to Honduras, contrasting Canadian safety with California trafficking. They analyze New York versus West Coast gang fears, specifically Wagner Middle School's "blood jumps," and reframe gang "Bibles" as self-help manuals. The duo critiques age-gap relationships using Latin American fruit metaphors before dismissing social justice warriors and promoting their Patreon. Ultimately, the episode champions unfiltered humor over performative morality while exposing cultural hypocrisies in modern safety narratives. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Kidnapping and Iced Tea00:06:25
All I could think about was how annoying is this bitch?
The kidnappers gave up.
They were like, fuck this, yo.
That's why her family wasn't even upset.
They're like, trust me, she's going to piss them off.
You know what it is?
It's too fucking...
It was too, it was too, it was.
Bring her back to Dykeman.
She's probably asking for chopped cheeses every five blocks.
Caprice, you really gonna, you really gonna kidnap me, dead ass?
You ain't gonna feed me my G. At least give me a durag or something.
But yeah, nah, then it just happened all too conveniently.
Like, this video came out the day before, and like within hours, they found her.
And mind you, and we're not trying to make a laughing matter like as far as she faked it.
We can do it.
Well, that's a laughing matter.
I'm just saying, like, women getting kidnapped in general.
That's why people were so quick to jump because that's happening a lot.
No, it doesn't.
It almost never happens.
It happens more often than you think.
No, no, no.
In America, we're talking about in these other countries, it happens.
Okay.
If you're really rich, and that's like 0.1% of the population.
But if you kidnap some poor person, their parents are grateful.
That's what marriage used to be.
It's here, kidnap my daughter, so I don't have to feed her anymore.
You're going to take care of that responsibility.
And then the family was fine.
You know what's funny?
I think because bitches in Canada are so nice, or just people in Canada are so nice, that's like the main spot where these bitches are getting snatched the fuck up.
But like kidnapping, sex trafficking.
Like they snatch up Canadian women because they don't fight back.
No.
You're completely making this up.
No, I'm dead at that point.
What?
Human trafficking?
That's not happening?
People don't get kidnapped in the first world.
What are you talking about?
No, you're completely kicking.
That's wild, bro.
No, no, no.
That's happening.
No, Canada's biggest issue is the fucking pipeline or something like that or like healthcare or like the president doing fucking blackface.
If kidnapping was a real problem in Canada, clearly we would hear about that.
Google.
We don't care about Canada.
We don't care.
We don't care about Canada.
That's the only point.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, and this is, first of all, there's no way in hell that kidnapping is a problem there.
This is human sex.
It tends to occur around international travel hubs with large immigrant populations, notably California, Texas, Georgia.
But here's the thing.
Human trafficking starts in another country and then gets brought to this country.
Nobody's human trafficking a Canadian because they all speak English.
They can just go, I've been trafficked.
And then you go back home.
You traffic some Russian chick that don't know where she's from, some Asian chick.
These Asian chicks, they work in the massage parlors and shit like that.
They get trafficked.
That's why it's such a big deal with the Robert Kraft shit.
Because it's like, you're not just getting a hand job.
Yeah.
You're aiding and abetting like these containers full of Asian bitches coming in from fucking China and Thailand that are here for the exclusive purpose of whacking off rich guys.
That's the only thing they're brought here for.
So you think this chick from the Bronx.
So why do you think that this girl from the Bronx faked it?
Because she wants to be on Law and Order like the rest of the people from the Bronx, bro.
That's your favorite show.
Before Love and Hip Hop.
I've read the story.
I just want to hear his thoughts.
Before Love and Hip Hop, the most popular reality show to people of New York City was Law and Order, right?
Special Victims Unit, right?
And people from the Bronx.
That's what's happening.
That's why every day.
They were like, I need to be on Law and Order Special Victim Unit.
If you even to this day play dun dun dun for somebody on like this on the sixth train as that shit goes to Park Chester, they're a little bit excited.
That's like a Pavlovian reaction.
Whatever.
So that's how you stop borrowing the Bronx.
Last year we got some PTSD real quick.
Because I heard that song, I'm like, there's a new episode.
Play it again.
Hold on.
So we'll just have a conversation with the talker.
And then, you know.
Anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, that is a real triggering thing.
Very triggering.
I think that, you know, that being, that was the first going viral.
If you could do some shit that they laid, because people don't realize this outside New York.
Law and Order is made from real shit that's in New York.
I remember, I remember like fucking cases that were happening in New York.
Like they have like the Abner Luima episode.
Oh shit, they're doing an episode on the shit that happened and you know, the guy getting the puncher on his ass and all this other shit.
Of a hood rat in New York is to be featured in an episode of Law and Order with Iced T. If Iced could be on your case trying to find you, that means you made it.
Ice T still got the funny, got the funniest voice trying to sound like you the fucking stealing kid and you're trafficking.
Yeah, pretty good.
God stopped trafficking even though kid, man.
I still can't believe I used to be scared of iced tea when I was little.
Yeah, I was scared of a lot of rats.
I was such a pussy when I was little, man.
I'm dead ass.
Like iced tea, ice cube, and fucking vanilla.
Nah.
I see an ice cube were fucking terrifying as children.
God damn it.
God damn, you never heard natural born killers.
First time I heard natural born killers, I was like seven years old.
I've never been afraid of iced tea.
Really?
Never been afraid of iced tea.
Nor Ice Cube.
Come on.
You don't know old iced tea?
Old iced tea or ice cube.
I guess you were young iced.
Never scared me.
I don't know why.
Nah, bro.
All them West Coast niggas, they just had a different type of end.
Yeah, I just thought like, you know, I never, I hadn't been to the West Coast way back.
Soup Doggy dog.
He was so melodic.
Like, he never scared me.
Like, I remember when they were like, murder is the case that they gave me.
I was like, stop it.
I ain't murdering nobody.
It was like Dr. Seuss rhyming.
New York.
Two, three into the fuck.
But Snoop did that shit.
Grab my gun and knock on his duck.
God damn.
Snoop.
No, of course they did.
But they weren't like for me growing up, like, there was a different type of scary.
So these guys in the West Coast, they didn't really.
Nah, I mean, you know why they know why they terrified me.
Shook, yes.
They were real.
They were like the boogeyman and shit.
It's like, yo, you go to the West Coast.
Like, oh, shit, you can't wear blue.
Oh, shit, you can't wear red.
Like, we couldn't wear it here.
Yeah, exactly.
If we were doing that here, I remember I was in middle school and it was like a blood initiation day.
It was Halloween.
It was Halloween day.
And that was when the blood jumped in.
Would buck fit to you.
Religious Boogeymen and Books00:03:37
They would take this, they would go, yo, do you got the time?
And then when you look down at your at your watch, because we wore watches back in the day to get the time, they would cut your face.
And that was why they called it a buck fifty because 150 stitches to like put your face back together.
And I remember the school I went to, Wagner Middle School in New York City, they issued a bulletin to all of our parents.
They said, don't wear any red on Halloween because they're looking for people who are wearing red.
And I remember on the way to the subway, some kid walks up and goes, yo, do you have the time to us?
And I remember I was just like, as a matter of fact, I do.
I looked like I was doing a fucking taekwondo.
It's three o'clock.
Have a fucking motherfucker.
Holy shit.
Nah, that was terrifying.
And it was worse here.
I think it was worse here because than it was in LA because people in New York are trying so hard to be legit.
Yes.
And try to be like, you know, you always got to overcompensate.
Didn't work the same.
No, like that shit didn't start here.
Yeah.
I mean, it started in prisons here, but like that was because it was brought from the West Coast.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
So it was like, you know, when people motherfuckers got to overcompensate to prove that they're fucking the most down, the most old.
And those are motherfuckers that, you know what I mean?
Like, you're not scared of, but you're wary of because they're trying to prove themselves.
They got to prove a point.
They got nothing to lose.
And it's, you know, it's always.
It's like, you don't got to worry about the mob boss as much as you got to worry about the kid, the guy who wants to be mobile boss.
Exactly.
Like the guy who's trying to impress the guy who's willing to do anything to get that respect or fucking prove themselves to somebody.
Like, that's the fucking bullshit.
That's funny.
You ever like get your hands on like one of the Bibles?
Yeah.
Because it's like actual books.
Actually, like the rules and shit.
That shit's just a self-help book.
It's like the nicest book.
It's so many decent principles just like bettering your life and shit.
No gangster shit in the book whatsoever.
Wait, why would wait?
See?
Hold on one second.
Remember months ago, and all of a sudden you're like, listen, man, like, oh my God.
Gangman, stop, You don't think.
Cast Cat's Cats before.
You don't think.
Cast Cat Cats.
Before we move on, it's very important to clarify.
You're not talking about the actual Bible.
No, no, no, no.
I thought you were a stupid person for about 30 seconds.
I was like, why is it the Bible?
Yo, you said you ever get your hand on one of the Bibles.
Oh, that's what you said.
So I go, wait a minute.
I go, one, why the fuck is he talking about the Bible?
Right?
I'm like, is this guy stupid?
And then the second one, I was like, is he making an observation that the Bible helps you?
I was like, you think you're the only one?
Oh, this Jesus guy's like Tony Robbins.
Actually, if you read this thing, it's got some pretty nice.
So explain this.
You explain this.
Each gang has a Bible that are like their rules to abide by.
It's like a book of principles.
Explain this.
Explain this.
Yeah, it's just like, like Kat said, it's like a book of principles, like our mission statement and how we should conduct ourselves and shit like that.
It's a brotherhood.
We help each other out.
We uplift each other.
It's just a self-help book.
Yeah.
There's no gangster shit.
Yo, but that's how all that shit starts out, right?
Everything starts off.
If you look at the Bible, everything in the Bible is like, yo, don't fuck people up.
Don't kill people.
Share, love, all that kind of stuff.
And then it's like Spanish Inquisition.
The Inquisition pops up, right?
And then it's like, yo, we're fighting over whose land is Jerusalem, blah, blah, blah.
Like, what are those wars called?
The fuck, the Crusades?
Crusades, right?
It's like, that's how it starts.
But it's the same shit with mobsters and gangsters.
There's people that want you to be the super religious.
Like, oh, I'm more religious than you.
I'm more popping than you.
I'm willing to kill thousands of people to show people how much I love Jesus Christ.
Staged Kidnappings and Ideals00:05:10
But I can admit that they're pieces of shit.
Yeah.
You're still like, no, they're good guys.
Oh, no, there's no.
I'm standing citizens in the community.
I've never not said.
First off, I'm not a gang member.
So, of course, I'm not going to say anything to disparage people.
But at the same time.
You know, Tom from The Godfather?
You know, like the adopted white one who's like the lawyer?
That's Kaz with the Crips or the Bloods or whoever the fuck he's connected to.
It's like, you're not in it, but you're adjacent.
And the other guy comes in, like, come on, guys.
Do we need to take out everybody?
Guys, please.
It's like, you know, it's like.
Guys, I've won my chain today.
I've won my channel.
But part of the group, just please stop killing everybody for two minutes.
I defend you guys every week of the podcast.
You're making it very hard.
It's not, it's never, it's never the ideals.
It's only the enforcement.
It's the enforcement of the ideals that always turn.
Yo, son, maybe Carol Sanchez, this chick who got kidnapped, is like the most brilliant gang member ever because she's like, I'm so gangster, I'm going to kidnap myself.
Ain't nobody ever kidnapped themself.
Oh my God.
So apparently the bitch, she faked her own kidnapping.
Yeah.
Because I guess.
I knew she faked it because when her brothers and like father, whatever, were walking her out of the precinct or whatever.
This dude was looking at her like, this ain't nobody kidnapping you.
Like he was so we barely want to get me.
He didn't even know she was gone.
We're like, yo, it's quiet or whatever.
I saw that shit on Instagram.
Oh, words.
I know that girl.
Oh, shit.
Little sister.
And I thought it was crystals.
That's vintage crystals.
That's vintage.
Yo.
And yo, you know what I was thinking with this?
Dude, crystal fine.
Yo, Duke Crystal.
Yo.
Yo.
Shout out to Chris, man.
This thing right here is this thing is, and it's important to note that, like, at 16 years old, and this is why I feel bad for shorty is because at 16 years old, you're a fucking kid and you do stupid shit.
Yes, like, I don't know if you guys have done this before.
I ran away from home.
Not really, I just ran down to my fucking apartment building downstairs, but like, we do this kind of dumb shit for attention.
Yes.
And I know that this is going to become some news story where people are going to fucking trash this little girl.
She's a young girl.
She's 16.
Yeah.
She does dumb shit.
That being said, she's going to get these jokes.
In my heart, I completely understand why she would do this.
Oh, absolutely.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I could see myself at that age doing some stupid shit just like that.
To get some attention.
We can help with you now.
She was doing it so she don't have to go back to Honduras.
Wait, what happened?
The mother wanted to move them back to Honduras.
She didn't want to go back, so she staged a kidnapping so she could stay.
Well, wouldn't that make the mom be like, well, bitch, if you're going to get kidnapped, we might as well do it with cheaper rent.
That's not the best thing.
Like, stage that you won the lottery.
Don't stage that you got kidnapped.
So she was like, she was trying to go, I got kidnapped.
Then she would think the mom would leave.
Well, like, she probably is just going to hide out for a while until people forget about her.
And then she's 16 years old.
I'm sure she ain't thinking anything past.
I don't think she thought it out past the kidnapping.
But yeah, she didn't want to go back to Honduras.
And I don't blame her.
Yo, I don't blame her either.
Allegedly, she had like some 23-year-old boyfriend, too.
Oh, that is the most Latino thing in the world.
Latinos, listening.
Latinos.
Latinos.
Okay.
What's up with the young girl shit?
We really got to understand this.
What's up with the young girls?
There was a baseball player.
Y'all didn't hear this story?
Son.
No, you didn't hear this baseball story?
Who was stupid?
So, professional major league pitcher, right?
Professional.
Wait, what are you talking about?
Go.
No, I'm just saying, like, he was 23.
She's 16.
That's wrong.
Don't get me.
So what you sun and meet this guy because you have the same age difference between you and your shorty.
Son.
That doesn't count.
The banana ain't green with my shorty.
Once the banana turns yellow or the platino for you Latins, it's good to eat.
It's good to eat no matter how much longer it's been yellow.
So if you, if the shit, my girl, 24, if the shit turns yellow, it's already yellow at 18.
I won't touch the bananas until they're 20, right?
But it's yellow at 18.
Now you good.
You can't compare a grown woman.
What about Kylie?
What about her?
You wouldn't have red shirted Kylie until that 18th birthday?
No.
I'm gonna turn down an 18th birthday.
I've never red shirted a bitch in my life, yo.
Alex, you would nasty.
This is no, no, no.
He's as nasty as Johnny right now.
He's a laugh.
Andrew's doing shit.
He's laughing.
Andrew's full of shit.
We had this discussion on Brilliant Idiots, and you were like, he's a little blazing time.
He was like, yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
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