Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect relationship grievances, contrasting Schultz's girlfriend's sleep demands with Akash's $1,000 Haka-san dinner mishap. They pivot to NFL strategy, criticizing the Cowboys' costly trades for Tunsil while speculating the Dolphins tank for Tua Tagovailoa picks, comparing this asset hoarding to the Browns. The duo debates LeBron James' failed "Taco Tuesday" trademark, mocks US men's basketball losses, and analyzes Instagram's shadow-banning of viral content before announcing sold-out NYC shows and upcoming international tours. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Sleeping With The Enemy00:14:52
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Now let's start the show.
What's up, everybody?
And welcome to another episode of Flagrant Sue.
No easy buckets, analysis by assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here at Akash Singh.
We got Alex Media in the building as well.
I want to start the episode off.
I want to go right.
We got to go right into it.
We got to get right into it.
I notified you guys before this episode.
Instead of Flagrant Thought of the Week, because this is fresh on my mind.
Oh, I like it.
Fresh on my mind.
I want to know the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
This can be your current girl, a past girl, it doesn't matter.
But the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
Okay?
That's what I want to start the episode off with.
I have one that's fresh on my mind.
It's very fresh on my mind.
The most annoying thing that my girl has ever said to me was this morning, okay?
She I'm sleeping.
She goes like this.
She goes, she goes, babe, wake up.
Wake up and help me sleep.
Bro?
I'm in shock.
Bro, I woke up and I thought I was still dreaming or something.
I was like, what'd you say?
She's like, I can't sleep.
Just wake up and help me sleep.
Listen, I would never hit.
Look, I would never, I mean this.
I would never hit a woman.
I would never hit a woman.
But I almost threw her out the window.
Do you know how like crippled people are carried?
Do you know like when you scoop up?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Or like, you know, like a dead body or something like that, right?
I literally almost, because my windows slide, but they slide pretty far.
And I almost, I almost thought about sliding the window and then just picking her, scooping her up like that, and then just dumping her out the window like that and then going back to sleep.
I don't understand how they don't appreciate that we need to sleep to keep buying their shit.
Yo, you know what I mean?
Like, I got to work.
I got to get up and work hard so I can buy the stupid shit you want.
Son, it's just shocking, dude.
What goes through your head?
Like the moment, like you're restless, you can't sleep, and then you look at your boyfriend and you're like, God, he's sleeping so well.
Like, he looks too happy.
They don't like that you're that happy without them causing the happiness.
Dude, wake up and help me sleep.
It's almost so absurd that it's hilarious.
It is hilarious.
It is hilarious.
If she wasn't 100% serious, like if she didn't 100% believe that I should wake up and help her sleep, then it would be the best prank in the entire world.
I got a question.
Okay, go.
Have you ever like accidentally kicked them out of the bed?
I have to just imply.
Accidentally.
Kick them out of the bed.
Okay, listen.
My apartment isn't big enough where like there's not bed on both sides, right?
It's just there's one side, it's a wall.
The other side, it's just going to bounce into the wall and bounce back.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm kicking up her against the wall.
Now, I would absolutely not let her sleep on the side with no wall.
Like, that's not happening at all.
Because I'll tell you why.
Because I need to be able to move away from her as much as I can.
And that includes having one of my knees jackknife and bent off the bed, like the greater than.
It's a greater than sign off the bed.
Like, that's how far I'll roll away.
Half your body's running away from her.
Half my body's running away.
Now, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Dude, no, I Heisman, I Heisman, not her.
I Heisman the air.
Like I'm trying to.
So basically what we do is we start the cuddle with her face against the wall.
Like her nose is touching the wall.
Because I know, I know 100%.
I know 100% that as I roll away, she'll come closer and we'll move this way and we'll move this way until my knee is hanging off the bed.
And then we just have to typewriter it back to the wall, right?
So it's just for everyone that's young listening right now, a typewriter is a device that existed before a computer that men would tell women to write things on when they had ideas they want to remember.
Trudy, can you write this down?
Okay, that was mine for this morning.
I mean, I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe it.
That's insane.
Why do you think I have a king-size bed?
Bro, I get it.
I get it.
I am literally getting a king-size bed for this reason.
And I got you 4'11.
You gotta get it.
This guy don't need a king-size bed.
Is my girl 4'5?
Yeah, they can easily fit on the twin, but he wants to have so much separation.
And you gotta get the memory foam joints, the ones that like...
If she sinks into it.
So if she's jumping or moving, you don't feel shit on your side.
Oh, my God.
Nothing.
She and I will sleep, cuddle for like 20 minutes, and then when it's sleep, sleep.
That's absurd.
There you go.
You scoot over, and then she don't notice.
20 minutes?
That's two snoozes.
Wouldn't you rather have two snoozes in the morning by yourself?
Listen, if I'm not tired, let's cuddle.
It's great.
But when I'm tired, that's enough.
Go.
Why would you get in bed if you're not tired?
I'm on my phone at first.
I'm reading or whatever before all that.
You know what I mean?
Dude, we need a verb.
We need a verb to describe the action of a girl watching you on your phone and pretend like she's not infuriated that you're on your keto.
That's my favorite lie.
Let's get it out.
Yes.
That's my favorite lie that they tell me.
That's my favorite lie.
My favorite lie that they tell, you know, like, you know how I know that she's pissed off is she don't let me save her from oncoming traffic.
Like we have a cool, we have a cool like little cutesy.
You know, your cute little cutesy relationship.
You guys are your girl.
Like, like you're both like a little bit in the street and some cars are coming.
Hey, you know this bitch ain't gonna get hit by some cars, but you're like, hey, babe, babe, babe, babe, back on the sidewalk.
Let's move.
Let me protect you from simply shit that ain't gonna even hurt you, but I want you to think that I'll protect you in the event that some bad shit will happen, right?
So it's like, like, but there's something about me looking at my phone and like a hole being burned into my fucking ear.
It's like, you know, I can feel it going into my ear and like on this whole side of my.
You know, Too-Face?
Yeah.
Remember Too-Face from Batman?
Yeah, Carvey Dent?
You know how one side of his shit is okay?
The other side is just his girl looking at him.
That has nothing to do with Batman.
It's just his girl like, you gonna get off the phone?
Why are you always trying to save Gotham?
Why you need to save?
What you need to do is save this relationship.
That's what you need to do.
Relationship Schultz is a shit.
I love this relationship.
Relationship Schultz here, bro.
Son, because I watched Harry Potter the play yesterday, bro.
You went to the fucking play?
Son.
That shit was dope.
I like the play.
You saw it?
Yeah.
Now, you know, it's two.
I'm early on that shit.
Yeah, I did the same day, Joint.
Son, I did this.
I'm not even that big a Potter fan.
Yeah.
It's two plays in the same day.
Each plays.
That's a lot of Potter, bro.
That's a lot of Potter.
That's like a lot of Potter.
I'm a big Potter guy, so it's like, I enjoyed it.
Is it what?
Is it called Harry Potter?
Okay, it's actually really smart.
It's the kids.
Yeah, so basically, Harry Potter's kids and Hermione's kids and Ron's kids, they all go to the school, but they get into hijinks all together.
So they're all mad hijinks.
Mad hijinks, bro.
It's so much hijinks, bro.
Son.
Anyway, JK Rowland must have been one lonely bitch as a kid because all these fucking all these fucking Harry Potters are about having no friends and shit.
And like, real talk, bro.
How lonely was this bitch?
Yo.
And you know what's funny?
Now she's the only female billionaire.
This bitch right back to law.
And you don't want to marry no billionaire, bitch.
That's right.
You just right back to zero.
Shit.
You know what I'm saying?
You need to marry some guy so we can hocus, pocus, make half of that shit disappear.
Aber cadaver broke, bitch.
Abraka broke, bitch.
All right, that's my craziest thing.
Go, Akash.
There's too many.
So the one that pops up is my girl one time said to me, you never take me to Applebee's.
What?
I looked at this bitch like, are you out of your fucking mind?
You're welcome.
Yeah, no.
I'm sorry.
I just took you to Italy.
I'm sorry.
Was that?
Not Italy.
Yo.
Motherfucking boot ass Italy.
The country.
Yeah.
That's.
Yo.
I couldn't believe it.
I looked at her like, are you out of your fucking mind?
What preceded it?
What kind of commercial did she just see?
Yo, Applebee's kudos or whatever you put it out there.
That's how much Indians love to save money.
She's mad that she hasn't done that too for 20, son.
Double, doubles, doubles, doubles, doubles, two for 20.
Double doubles.
Double double two for 20.
Double double.
Bro.
Yo, Dumbledore is just some Indian talking.
Bro, so what'd you say to her?
Did you take her to Applebee's?
What was she upset about to say?
I don't know.
I didn't understand.
This is like when we first started dating.
So I didn't understand that like women just have all these emotions.
They don't know what to do with them.
So they just get mad at you every 20 minutes.
So much emotion.
It's just too much.
It just builds up and they just find something.
But I just looked at her like, are you fucking...
I think I just laughed.
Like, that's how I know I'm an A-plus-ass boyfriend.
Yeah.
That this is what you're reaching at.
I never took you to fucking Applebee's.
Yo, she was reaching for strings or whatever that.
What's that?
Straws.
Straws.
Yeah, yeah, you had nothing, son.
Bro.
So I just laughed at her, but I'll tell you.
You know how great a boyfriend you got to be where she's going through her rolled decks of shit that you fucked up with?
You never take me on vacation.
Nah, he did that.
You never say you love him.
Nah, he did that.
Yeah, I'd be doing that.
You never visit my family.
Nah, he did that.
I'll be doing that.
Applebee.
Shout out to you.
You're good.
Yo, bro.
Well, now she's.
Well, but then the point is: it's like, if you know she's going to complain no matter what, you might as well not take her to all that stuff so that you could agree with the complaint.
Right?
There is a little bit of you.
You can be like, yeah, you're right, boo.
I haven't done that enough.
I haven't taken you to Italy.
I got to work on that.
Yo, I got to work on that, babe.
Dude, who spend too much time at work?
I do want to be on the road all the time.
You're right.
Don't you want to agree with your girl's complaints?
Like, that's the most annoying thing.
Like, when they think that you're cheating, it's like, well, shit, let me be cheating.
You know what I mean?
Like, well, I'm dealing with it.
I'm dealing with all the grievances and shit with cheating.
You might as well cheat at that point.
That's the worst.
When you're actually good and then they still think you're cheating.
I'm like, God damn, do you know how hard it is being good?
God damn.
You know how hard it is?
It's like, when you cheat, at least you're like, you smart ass bitch.
Oh, you smart ass detective ass bitch.
You look at you being all smart and tozy out here.
I see you, Hermione.
I see you coming together with the conclusions.
Look at you.
We played a little game of guess who, and you don't guess right.
Right?
You know what I mean?
It was Andrew on the road with the waitress.
Bro, isn't that better, bro?
Isn't that better?
Yo, this is therapy.
This is good.
Yo, we got to purge, bro.
You know what I mean?
Because if we purge in the beginning, then we could just, you know, like be ourselves.
This is how I'm a good boyfriend.
I'd be complaining all the time.
You complain, but to whom?
To the world.
Audiences.
To the audiences.
Yeah, man.
Nah, it's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
Okay, Al, what's the worst thing?
Damn.
I just want to.
That's an annoying thing.
Yeah, but before you left the bed situation earlier, the reason why I got like a movable bet Alex got the old person bed.
Yeah.
The top goes up and the feet go up.
Amazing.
But it's so when they're like annoying me, they're asleep.
Just move that shit.
20 degrees above the zip.
They just wake up startled, like, oh, now she'll reposition.
Oh, you move her side.
Yeah, because that's like, it's like his version of the typewriter.
So it's like, once she's come too close to me, oh, move the shit, bro.
This shit vibrates too.
So I'll just throw the vibration on a wake her ass.
Waking Up To Chaos00:03:52
Oh, shit, bro.
I'm such an asshole.
Bro, that's too good, though.
Okay, what's the wildest thing your girl ever said?
Fuck, man.
I'm really having a tough time thinking of something, but the thing that bothers me the most is when, you know, you're around them and you get a sense of their energy and you know there's something wrong.
And you'd be like, what's wrong?
And they just refuse to say that.
They'll say everything's fine, but you know it.
You supposed to be fine.
And then it's like fucking Sherlock.
Hours or days later.
Yeah.
Then it blows up and they're like, oh, this was the thing you were mad about.
Yo, that's the thing that's annoying, right?
About that's the thing that's annoying about women, but also annoying about being a man.
It's like, you know what you're upset about, right?
You know what you're upset about and you won't tell me.
But when I'm upset, I don't know.
I just know I'm upset.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you remember your girl pressing you?
Yeah.
Like, she's like, why are you, what's wrong?
What's your I'm like, I'm not upset.
Well, I am, but I don't know.
She's like, why don't you just tell me?
Why don't you just share?
I don't know yet.
And then two days later, it will be like, I just need to come or something.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, like literally being a dude, it's like, it could be you just need to bust a nut.
You're like, oh, that's what I was upset about.
Or like, there could just be one thing that you're not sure of.
Yeah.
You know, but I'll be, I'll have a shitty feeling for two days and not know what the fuck that is.
Son.
And I could tell.
Right?
Being around this motherfucker, like, you could tell when he's he.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah, I get Aggie, son.
Yeah, yeah.
He'd be all short.
No, I said that so early.
I was like, okay, he's in one of his boots.
I do be getting like that.
I got to take this off.
It's hot out here.
Yeah, I know.
I got to take my whole outfit off.
People don't realize right now unless you watch it.
Andrew dressed classy.
Son, let me tell you something, bro.
Let me tell you something, bro.
I got to go to my girl's mom's birthday, whatever.
Something.
Let me tell you something.
I got these slacks.
I got these blue slacks.
That's what they're called.
Yeah.
Suit pants, slacks.
I got a button-down shirt.
I got this shit.
A comedian friend of ours, Case Rosso, said years ago, the nicest a man could possibly look is a sweater and a collar shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Sweater, and then I got a collar shirt underneath, and I got my slacks.
And the way I've been treated today, because of the way I dress, it's like, I'm already white.
But like, let me tell you something.
If you could, like, if you could make me white again, that's what it is.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, this, like, you know, like, born again white.
Yeah.
It's, you ever have like a chocolate chip cookie, you know, and then you ever have a chocolate, chocolate chip cookie?
That's what I feel about with white.
Right?
I'm like, white on top of white.
Like, bro, the respect that I've been getting today, dude, it's like, I feel like I'm a doctor in the world or my nurses.
Right?
It's just like everybody that approaches me is like, can I help you with something, doctor?
You're like, it's just amazing, bro.
It's amazing.
I want to crack on him, but he looks good.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I'm mad.
You have to respect the whiteness, bro.
You have to respect.
It's so white, bro.
It's so white.
Look at this.
Like, look at how white this is.
Oh, man.
Hey, hold on.
Look at how white, bro.
It's so white, dog.
Y'all got to try it.
I'm surprised you don't have the bow shoes.
If you had the bow shoes, if you had the white.
If I had the bow shoes, that shit would be.
But I got it to spot suit supply.
Doctor Vibes In Corridors00:14:59
Okay.
This is genius.
This is the future of.
Oh, we should talk about this.
How do I get this on?
I don't even know how to get it.
I don't know how to get it.
That's right.
That's it.
You just keep going.
Just keep going.
So, no, no, we should talk about the future of because you're not.
I know, right?
I ain't want to put it back on.
The outfit just went down to like a five.
Yeah.
This is not a nice shirt.
It's not.
It's not good.
What about my slim waist, my waist snatch?
Waist?
Snatch.
Snatch.
Somebody make a gift of a high cottage.
Wait, snatch.
Snatch.
Wait a minute.
Did you tell us your most annoying thing your girl ever said?
Yeah, the upset thing.
Oh, yeah.
So here's the thing: retail, right?
You know how Jeff Bezos killed retail, right?
Retail's done.
Shit is sad.
Sad, son.
It's real sad, bro.
But I got a theory on retail.
This bald motherfucker just mad at the whole world and just ruined it.
Right?
Never, never dressed nice in his life.
Voldemort.
I know I'm late, but all my reference is going to be Harry Potter's.
Hey, I know I'm late.
Hey, hey, I know I'm late, but all my reference is going to be Harry Potter's.
Can you imagine if when we were growing up, somebody kept referencing like, Welcome back Potter or some shit like that in the 70s?
You'd be like, huh?
I just found out about this Harry Potter scene.
I'm sure you heard about this.
I'd be finding out about shit late, bro.
But I like Harry Potter, bro.
Also, why they act like they don't know what the spells are?
Like, you know how they're trying to learn spells?
Yeah.
I feel like I know all the spells.
How?
You just got to add a little to the end of it.
You know what I mean?
His girl told me.
His girl told me he made up some new spells.
I just make up spells.
I'd be like, shut up with this bitch.
She told me he be hitting her with the song.
All the time, son.
Stop talking at this.
Right?
Son, yo, those spells are nice.
Every week he comes in here with a new way to stretch his vision.
Yo, Harry Potter done taught me how to tell him to shut up, bro.
Bye, bye bye.
That was before I knew about the spells, bro.
Now it's spells.
Son, I got a wand, everything.
I got the elder one.
Y'all thought I didn't know about the elder one.
Y'all really thought?
You got to go to Universal, babe.
To the Harry Potter, bro.
You would have to take a flavor trip.
Yo, we're going to do Flavor.
You would love that.
That shit is dope.
Really?
That's a dope.
What kind of wand you got?
I bought a wand when I was kidding.
You thought it's so cotton.
I bought a wand.
Oh, my God.
Yo, I got it.
Bro, for real.
No bus walking around like the kid attention.
Right before you bought a wand, did someone come up to you and go, Fagatus, you were just like, Alexa, I need a wand.
I need a wand now.
That one right there.
That one right there.
Uh-uh.
Uh-oh, the elder is one.
Son, it is.
Listen.
Oh, is she sexualist?
That's what I was going to go in.
LGBT interquist.
Yo, real talk, bro.
No bullshit.
You seen that dyke wand?
You understand?
You ain't seen a dyke wand.
The one that's just a handle.
I don't need the other part.
I don't need the other part.
All I need is the handle part.
This is crazy.
It vibrates on its own, actually.
Yo, you know how you make that shit vibrate, bro?
You know the spell to make it vibrate?
It's I am lonely attention.
Jay Cannes Rowling gets it.
Bro, we out here in suits.
We suited and booted.
Is that it?
What is that?
No, I'm not booted.
Nah, you got some nice shoes on, man.
Fuck.
Suit supply, bro.
Oh, yeah.
That's the future of retail.
You know, that me?
I can't believe you bought a wand.
My girl didn't even buy a wand.
She was like, nah, she just gay.
I don't fucking wander.
Yo, which one you got, though?
Which one?
Because you got to choose.
Don't act like you didn't choose.
Nah, they just have standards.
No, they don't.
They have doll different.
Son, they just have to do that.
They had the elder wand.
That's the one Dumbledore had.
Y'all didn't know Dumbledore?
I'm reading the books.
Y'all don't know who Dumbledore is.
I'm reading the books right now, so my girl would read Rich Dad Poor Dad.
That was the balance.
Wait a minute.
But did you know who Dumbledore is?
Yeah, man.
Do you know his first name?
Hit it.
Albus.
Fucking dumbass.
Fucking pussy.
Fucking dumbass, bro.
Dude, did you just come from the play just like that?
Son, I went to the play yesterday.
Son, we were in there, bro.
You know who we were in there with?
No.
No, son.
I can't.
I can't.
What you do between the break?
Oh, oh, so my girl got this uncanny ability to like find the most expensive restaurants.
That's an option.
It's crazy, dude.
Son is a real dog.
Every woman has an innate ability to always choose the more expensive option in anything.
It is unbelievable her ability to choose expensive restaurants.
It's unbelievable.
So she goes, she goes, we go, we go.
It's unbelievable, right?
So like, it's to the point where I expect it.
I expect it, oh, gosh.
I really expect it, right?
So, but she goes, so in between the play, so basically, for anybody who's listening, you go watch the play, right?
There's one full play with an intermission.
Yeah.
And then it stops.
And then you have a two-hour break and then you come back and then watch a whole other play.
That's right.
Right.
So my girl got this unability.
This, my girl got an amazing ability to find the most expensive options.
So we're like, what are we going to do in between the plays?
She goes, well, I know this Chinese restaurant.
Do you want to go get some Chinese?
I'm like, Chinese?
I'm like, it can't be expensive.
It's just Chinese.
Chinese?
Bro, we're winning out here.
We're fucking winning out here.
It's music to my ears, right?
We go to this place, right?
We're walking down 42nd Street, and she goes, It's right here.
There's no sign on the door, nothing, just some Asian characters on a black door with some like ornate grating on the outside.
I'm like, this fucking motherfucker Chinese restaurant in all of New York City.
It ain't even got an awning.
You know this shit is expensive.
It ain't even got an awning, right?
We open the door, right?
In order to get from the door to where the Matri D is at, there's a long corridor.
It must be 25 feet.
Now, you could tell how expensive a restaurant is by how many corridors they got.
Yo, and length of corridors.
Length of corridor?
Like, that is the telltale sign because the restaurants I go to are so inexpensive and cheap that they can't waste room on corridor.
Yeah.
They have to have seats everywhere.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
But this restaurant had a corridor.
Okay.
Yo.
We walk 25 feet to the corridor, right?
The lady goes, Let me bring you to your table.
We're going to another corridor.
I'm like, we're two corridors deep.
This shit about to kill me.
There's a Chinese food two corridors.
Each step he's taking, he's just hearing Mario in reverse.
Just losing his weight.
I knew it was going to be expensive because the Matri D was black.
Oh, shit.
If you're in a Chinese restaurant and they don't got Chinese motherfucking people working at it, you know it's going to be expensive, bro.
That's funny.
A non-Chinese person working at a Chinese restaurant.
That's wild.
Got to be expensive.
Imagine you went to the back and it's like the guy from Rush Hour, the black Chinese guy.
It's like Roscoe's something like that.
Son, Don Cheeto.
Don Cheeto.
Don Cheeto.
Son, it was too.
It was.
Anyway, so we sat down there.
Bro, I don't know what's going on.
What's the name of the restaurant?
Haka-san.
I never heard of it.
Out of my tax bracket.
You're actually good at eating cheap better than me because she's young.
We know.
I remember another annoying assistant.
She's mad about it.
We're not going to be sick.
Second most annoying thing my girl ever said.
Why'd you take me to Italy?
We should have gone to Papa John's.
It's an olive garden right by the house.
What's wrong with you, Arkash?
You need to re-rich that poor dad.
Taking me to Italy all the time.
I remember me and my girl had just started dating.
This is my first relationship, so I didn't know any of how it worked.
And we were mid-like quarrel, not quite a fight, but like a little dust up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I'm like, there's a restaurant.
I'm like, hey, she says she's hungry.
I'm like, hey, there's a place right here if you want to eat there.
And it's like $20 a plate.
I just threw it out there to like show her that I'm nice.
I'm like, yo, you want to eat there?
And then she's like, yeah, sure.
And I'm like, of course you do.
Right.
Then we sit down.
I'm like, you want any appetizers?
And she goes, yeah, why not?
And I was like, why not, bitch?
I don't know.
Finances?
Maybe.
Maybe it costs $16 for a plate of fucking edamame.
Why not?
Why not?
Don't occur to you?
Because it's my money.
That's why not?
I was losing my mind in my head.
Why not?
What I said?
Okay.
That's what I said.
Let's get it.
Whatever you want.
When we offer it, they think we got it.
When we offer, they don't realize it's empty.
You know what's the most infuriating thing?
When they order like a Coke, why?
Why?
Because it's like, why would you waste that money?
It's like, it's like $5 for a Coke at a restaurant, right?
You might as well just get a real drink.
But if you order a Coke, you just want to make me poor.
Right?
It's just like, there's no joy that comes from the Coke, right?
You're not getting anything out of this soda or ginger ale, nothing.
The only thing, the only joy you get is I'm more poor.
That's the only joy, right?
Just order water or alcohol.
But the Coke?
What does that do?
Yo, Mike, you fat and me poor.
I told my girl something costs $300 once, and she goes, Is that expensive?
I was like, bitch, you just forgot how money works.
That's how long we've been together?
You literally forgot the whole scale?
You don't even know anymore?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Is that expensive?
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
All right.
Well, you know, here we are.
Here we are.
Here we are.
We're here.
Yo, we went to a.
This is funny.
We went to a.
So we went to a.
And then I got to shut up before I get broken up.
So.
Hey, my girl got a ring.
You ain't going nowhere.
Get you going.
So we got, that's funny.
The ring is like scorpions shit.
Get over here.
It's Mortal Kombat.
Push her away and then get over here.
So we went to dinner, right, with her and her folks, right?
And first time we went to dinner with them, folks paid.
Okay.
Noble.
Second time, I mean, I tried, you know, second time we're going to dinner.
I'm like, yo, I got to hold it down.
Absolutely.
So I let everybody know at the beginning of the dinner.
We're going to this Japanese restaurant.
I'm like, yo, I got it, guys.
Please don't fight.
I appreciate you guys taking me to dinner, but I got it.
And it's important for me because you want to show.
You got to show them.
You want to show your, you're, you know, your shorty's parents that, like, she's good.
You know what I mean?
She would have grown up.
Somebody was going to take care of her.
Boom.
Right?
So waiter comes over and he's like, okay, yeah, we do not have menu.
Oh, my God.
He said, we do not have menu.
I just went like this.
I just went like, I just looked up at the top of the restaurant.
Oh, my God.
I just looked straight up and I said, oh, my God, out loud.
In front of her.
In front of her and the parents, right?
And he goes, yes, he goes out.
It is almost the chef make it sushi and he keep making sushi until you tell chef to stop and make it sushi.
So now the responsibility is on me to let my girl and her parents know when they're done eating.
Right?
That's a lot.
That's a lot to be like, you done?
You full?
Right?
Now, there's no prices on nothing.
So that's scary.
Terrifying.
They just terrifying.
They just bring in the fish, right?
And I'm like, how much is a fucking mackerel?
I'm guessing fish prices and calculate.
I feel like I'm counting cars in Vegas, bro.
I'm guessing fish prices and multiplying it by four as the shit is going on and just racking up, racking up, racking up, racking up.
At one point in time, he brings the last fish.
Now I'm like, I can't just say, I cannot just say we're done eating, right?
So the waitress brings the fish.
And he's about to start talking about something else.
He goes, okay, Isa.
Fifth Avenue Fish Prices00:09:23
And I cut him off.
I go, so what is dessert?
You saw it.
You thought, AJ guy.
You thought you was going to get me.
Yo, our dessert dumb fast.
I said, what's for dessert?
He goes, oh, for dessert, we have whatever.
And the mom pop were like, oh, we're not really feeling like dessert.
And I'm like, bet you not.
That's what we talked about.
Neither are we.
Run dad check.
We out of here.
Son, you didn't play that right.
What I should have done.
Just ask them a bunch of questions.
You keep them talking the whole time.
So they get full.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
That's smart.
And then you speak up first about you being full.
Because people don't want to keep eating if you're not eating.
Oh, shit.
That's all you have to do.
That would have been way smarter.
Could you have been in that situation or something?
Like, not exactly, but yeah.
Oh, my God.
That shit was petrifying, son.
We do not have a menu.
How was that?
Was the first meal expensive?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, how much was it?
What was it damaged?
It's a lot of money.
First meal.
What was it damaged, though?
Spent $1,000.
Four different aftertips.
Say what?
Before.
Including tip.
I spent a thousand.
Oh, no, no.
This was a no-tip restaurant.
It's like included in the pricing.
There's this guy who has a bunch of these restaurants.
I think, and they do no-tip after it.
Yeah, okay.
Well, tell that guy his restaurants aren't going to make it because you can't charge me a thousand.
I'll pay the tip.
Sorry.
You know what I mean?
A thousand dollars.
And there was no place for the tip.
I never even asked questions.
Like, there was no place.
And I was like, that's on y'all.
Like, in my mind, I was like, y'all should have put a place for the tip if you wanted to.
And then my girl goes, oh, you don't have to tip.
And I was like, you're right.
Yo, they be saying little stuff like that, like they're saving us money.
And I'm like, you're not, you're not, don't play, like, you helping.
You know, the move would have been the first dinner.
If especially if it's not crazy expensive, this is good.
Just sneak off, give the way to the card, and say, I got out of the bathroom, get away with the card.
Tried it.
Really?
Tried it.
Tried to get a hip to it.
The restaurant was so open, it would have been abundantly clear what I was trying to do.
I know.
Anyway, guys, I think we should maybe get into some of this delicious sports talk that we have going on here today.
Unless you want me to explain the future of retail.
Oh, yeah, you still haven't explained.
You couldn't do it, my God.
Every time you try to talk about Arita.
Here's the future of retail.
You ready?
Yeah.
So these department stores are done.
Right.
Right.
They're fucking done.
It's a problem.
Right.
Problem.
But I think what happens is this.
The nice shit stays around.
Right.
And then...
You pay for the experience.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Fuck the brick and mortar version of it.
Maybe they're there, but way less of them.
You can order the nice shit online that goes e-commerce, but nothing's going to replace Dolce and Gabbana, Louis Vuitton, these type of things, because you want the nice shit.
But we're fine ordering online.
And I think all the lower tier shit is gone.
And then what pops up are niche things done very well.
So for example, suit supply, where I got the suit, it's just high-quality suits at reasonable pricing.
Not dirt cheap, not men's warehouse.
Like, you're still going to spend $1,000 on a suit or something like that, but it's going to be really good, but that's all they do.
And then you're going to have another company that's there.
All we do is underwear.
Another company is like, all we do are teas.
And it's already starting to sprout up, these different things.
But I think what will happen is, I don't need to get my tea from my t-shirt, my white t-shirt, black t-shirt from fucking Ralph Lorenz or Polo.
I'll get a piece that I really want from Ralph Loren or Polo.
I'm going to get their denim or I'm going to get there, whatever.
And I think that everything else, like the kind of basics, the simple shit that we do that doesn't need to be name brand will just be niche e-commerce sites will pop up.
And we're like, I need some more fucking socks ordered.
I need some more basics.
A hoodie company with quality hoodies.
Different colors, but simple quality.
And then you wear that under your jackets, et cetera.
I think there will still be a place for brick and mortar in the sense that it's a specialized, you come for the experience of having a personal shopper.
And then people, the whole reason malls popped up is convenience.
I don't want to drive from store to store.
Right.
Once we found something more convenient than the mall, which is just staying at home, ooh, why the fuck are we going to the mall?
But there's also going to be something to like, all right, but I'm also losing asking a salesperson, hey, what do you think?
Somebody putting things together for me.
He's a stylist or whatever.
I think those will stick around.
I think that they stick around as a loss leader in big markets as a billboard, essentially.
Yeah, it's a way to establish your brand.
Yes.
So having your place on Fifth Avenue, right?
Every one of those, you told me this.
Yes.
Every one of those places loses money.
100%.
But they get to stay.
We have a store on Fifth Avenue.
So now all of a sudden you group them in with every other store you see on Fifth Avenue.
Because is your brand even fancy if it's not on Fifth Avenue?
That's the idea.
100%.
Right.
So, but I think that you lose.
I'll be honest with you.
I'm not very bullish.
I think for the time being, stores like Kith and that kind of stuff can exist, which kind of like aggregate all the cool shit and then like hand it to us.
And I think those things will be the last ones to go.
But we're even going to come to a point in time where like, well, I don't need a brick and mortar for that.
I can just have a website that tells me the cool shit.
The only thing I would push back on is I think you're underestimating or like overestimating how much people know what looks good on them.
Most people don't know what looks good.
For dudes, it's harder.
But for women, I've realized they have no problem ordering and then sending shit right back.
It's unbelievable.
If I bought some shit and it's not good, I just lost it.
That's it.
That's the shit that I got.
It's my size.
I think the reason why bring water will stay around forever because sometimes you just need an outfit right now.
That's true.
So that's a great point.
And it's like, well, what do I do if I need this?
What do I do if I need a shirt now?
I need whatever.
So there has to be some place to get that, some place to satisfy that in some way, right?
Where like, I just need a pair of jeans.
I spilled something on it.
I have a meeting.
I got to go.
And I think maybe you'll have maybe there'll be a situation where like, I don't know.
How do you see it?
So it'll be like Target?
Because Target's clothes are actually kind of nice.
They're not like nice, but they're better than Walmart or whatever.
And they can survive because they also got grocery.
And we haven't gotten to the point where grocery shopping online is better than in-store.
Isn't that weird?
Also, yeah, it's like, because when you grocery shop, you want it for now.
I want it right now.
The produce is fresh, blah, blah, blah.
You know, it's not.
Grocery shopping online ain't fun.
I had Amazon Fresh.
You're fucking scouring the pages, trying to find avocados, whatever the fuck.
It's annoying.
It's too annoying.
Yeah, no, there's definitely some complications.
I'm not interested enough in the clothing business per se to figure that out.
But there is massive amounts of money to be made in the changing ecosystem with fashion specifically.
There's going to be Kith.
There are already online versions of Kith, which is just, here's a bunch of cool store, cool clothes online.
Buy these.
You're good.
We got it.
Yeah, there's a way.
And there's another cool feature that's been popular for a couple of years.
I don't know if there's a men version of it, but for women, rent the dresses and shit like that.
On the runway.
Yeah, that one.
So this thing is happening, right?
Like, if I was to phase it out, right?
Let's say I was in this business, the first thing I'd do is get you comfortable with returning shit online.
Because the biggest barrier of entry for buying something online is if it doesn't fit, what do I do?
Yeah.
So they need to find a way to get men comfortable with returning.
And it is kind of easy, but it's a daunting task for us.
It's an inconvenience.
We got to shit.
I need to go to the gym.
I need to do all these other things.
I don't want to fucking go to the post office.
In our mind, we have to go to the post office.
Bro, I got a guy in my building.
I still don't do it.
I got to get a box.
I got to print a label.
Well, no, because they'll put it in now.
In our mind, we think they've made it incredibly convenient, incredibly convenient.
But we're so against it.
Like in my new mailbox in my building, they just renovated them.
And there is a post office slot.
So I can just put it in there.
And then the postman comes and takes that mail to the post office.
I don't trust it.
I looked at that shit.
I looked inside a bit and I walked outside, walked down the block, and then put my checks in the mail.
Why don't you trust it?
I don't trust it.
When does it start working?
It's working now.
How am I asking?
The same system as I don't know.
I don't know.
When he delivers your mail, he's just taking that.
What if it gets mixed up?
It's the same, but it's the same thing he does at the mailbox on the corner.
I don't know.
Literally, for me, it's always got to find an empty box.
I got mad empty boxes.
It's prime coming to my house every day.
I'm like, I got to find a box that's the right size.
I got to tape it.
Even though they put the label in, I'm like, I got to fill it out.
All these little nonsense-ass things.
I'm like, I'll just keep it and not like it.
It's worth it to keep it.
That's the thing.
But these girls buy shit knowing they're going to return it.
Bill Burr Mail Delivery00:02:18
Crazy.
They buy 15 fucking pieces, try them all on, and their home is essentially their changing room.
It's genius.
But there's money to be made because the industry's in flux.
It's just literally what's happening with us in entertainment.
There's money to be made.
The industry's in flux.
I got to do a huge shout out to Bill Burr, by the way.
Bill Burr's new special.
She dropped a trailer for it, and it looks fucking awesome.
Oh, he's, I mean, he's incredible.
He's so good.
It's just comedy's in such a fucking good place right now.
It's so fun.
I'm so excited.
It's in such a good place.
Because Bill is always not giving a fuck.
No.
Bill has operated on an island.
I don't really consider Bill as part of the traditional Hollywood media.
No.
He has shows in there, but Bill has his audience.
He does whatever the fuck he wants, says whatever the fuck he wants.
He's flagrant as fuck.
That's going to be you.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
Hundred.
So it's like it's he's just so and anyway, he's brilliant.
Obviously, Chappelle.
And Bill did it through podcasting, too.
Monday Morning Podcast is a thing that like we knew about him as comics.
Yeah.
And I remember why do I do this, which was like 11, 12 years ago.
I was like, what the fuck is going on?
This guy's so good.
Fucking hey.
And I still didn't hear a lot about him.
Then Monday Morning Podcast dropped.
And then all of a sudden, he just started playing bigger and bigger venues.
Bigger.
He said Netflix actually helped him a lot.
They helped him.
Netflix made him an international act.
Yeah.
Because he was on there early.
Yeah.
Him and Allie Wong were like the people Netflix made.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So true.
And then he's just, yeah, he's just a fucking beast, man.
So I'm excited.
I'm just so excited for comedy.
And like, it's great when like, when there's a thirst for something and the best people doing it are putting out the product that they're thirsty for.
Yeah.
Like it's like people have been starved for flagrancy and now that starvation is met with like it's like piranhas.
You know?
Dude, yeah.
And you're just throwing fucking T-bone steak or some chum in the water and the piranhas are going to attack and it's just such a great place for comedy, man.
So I'm fucking psyched.
Go check that out.
Watch the trailer.
And shouts to Bill Burr, the motherfucking GOAT, man.
So good.
I want to see what his material is like with a kid, too.
Draft Picks And Trades00:12:46
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has a funny bit on the trailer, which is, I'm not giving anything away.
This is just what the trailer gives away.
He goes, he goes, you know, like, I don't understand why my wife complains.
She's got, I mean, like, I'm a great guy.
Did you see it?
He goes, he goes, I'm a great guy.
Okay.
Pick up after myself.
Pick up after myself.
I think I'm a pretty good dad.
You know, she give her whatever she wants, whatever, work hard and make money.
The only thing that she could possibly complain about is my personality.
Who I am as a person.
That's who I am as a person.
That's good.
That's great.
Just so good.
And this idea of like his daughter hasn't really seen him yet.
Yeah.
Like she hasn't noticed the anger.
Yeah.
Like she's just seen like little things of it.
It's like, dad snapped a baseball bat over his knee.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Anyway, let us talk about some things, Akash.
What you thinking?
Dude, the Texans made some big trades, crazy trades.
Explain why you get rid of Jadavius.
Jadavian Clowney.
Jadavian cannot tell you why.
Here's why to me it's so fucking stupid.
So their thinking is, I think he's holding out.
He's a free agent next year.
Okay.
So he has one more year on his contract, and then he's a free agent.
Levy on Bell's situation.
They traded him for third-round pick.
The reason I think it's dumb.
Third round?
Seattle got him for a third-round pick.
I didn't know he went to Seattle.
He's in Seattle, dude.
Seattle just got scary, like scarier.
And they're always kind of a threat because Russell Wilson's great.
Their defense is always good.
Let me ask you a question.
Wouldn't you have traded always injured J.J. Watt before you trade Jadavius Clowney?
I'm not saying Jadavis Clowney has injury-free record, but this guy's literally every season.
Jadavian Clowney.
Every season he's injured.
Yeah, I don't know what that.
Well, I guess Jadavian is holding out.
So you could theoretically, I don't know how salaries work with trades.
I think you have to, from what I understand, you have to pay a lot of the guaranteed money still if you trade him.
So maybe with Watt, they were like, well, we're going to keep having to pay the guaranteed money even if we trade him.
Ah, so there's no reason to trade.
I think.
But I don't get it because if Jadavion Clowney sat out for a year and signed with somebody else like Le'Veon Bell did, you get what's called a compensatory pick the following year.
And it's based on how much money they get signed for and a couple other factors.
But like Jadavion Clowney would have got huge money, which would have gotten you a third-round compensatory pick in two years.
That you would have got anyway.
So you basically said, I'll take a third-round pick next year instead of two years from now.
Why?
What's the fucking difference?
Just have him sit for a year, see if a better offer comes along.
Teams get desperate.
The Cowboys traded a first for a receiver.
That worked out, but it worked out, but I would have definitely given a first for Jadavion Clowney.
If I think I'm one defensive playmaker away from getting a Super Bowl, go.
Give me Jadavion.
Here's a first.
I don't give a fuck.
I'll figure it out.
Wow.
That's why I think it was so dumb.
And then to fortify their offensive line, which is a nightmare, but they traded two first-round draft picks and a second-round draft pick, which is a crazy haul for Laramie Tunsel, who's a good, I haven't heard him great tackle.
Maybe I'm wrong.
I don't really keep up with Miami, but he's the starting left tackle for Miami.
And that left tackle is an important position because if you're playing quarterback, he protects your blind side.
So traditional thinking, now people are saying there's a lot of pressure that comes up the middle.
So the blind sides aren't as important, but like the blinds that typically in traditional football, that left tackle, if I'm a right-handed quarterback, I'm throwing this way.
I don't ever see this guy coming.
So I need the most important lineman is that left tackle.
So they traded for him, and he's good.
He's a young player.
And Kenny Stills, but two first-round draft picks and a second is like...
Oh, shit, they got Kenny out of there.
Yeah.
Well, they wanted to kind of get him out of there.
Kenny was having issues with the owner because Trump, blah, blah, blah.
But still, that seems like a lot to give up.
And then you lost Jadavion Clowney, so you lost one stud.
You got another stud, but your net is like, I gave up two first-round draft picks and a second to get a third-round draft pick.
Do you think it's possible that Miami wants to lose?
Miami could, but Miami's got two first-round draft picks from the Texans now.
They got their own first-round draft picks.
Wait for it.
This is what I was told.
And I got to keep my sources quiet.
But remember that Eagles coach that did all the crazy science stuff so that they could.
No, no, no, no.
The one that I was telling you, he was for the Super Bowl, Eagles Super Bowl coach, not the head coach, but he basically put all these heart monitors on the players and based on their levels of exhaustion, calculated the best three plays to do in that moment.
He's now with the Dolphins.
And the thing was, yo, the Dolphins are about to win this year because they got this guy.
But now what I'm hearing is that they want to lose this year so that they can get Tua.
That's interesting.
So now, now I heard that a while ago.
When I hear this, that they're giving away their star-wide receiver when they're giving away multiple inks to get what in return?
Draft picks.
Now, you might not have the number one draft pick, but if you got two firsts.
Yeah, you can move up.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
So if that is the case, it'd be very curious.
I'd be very curious to see what happens not this year, but next year with that team and with that.
Related to that, they traded, the Cardinals drafted Kyler Murray this year.
Last year they drafted a kid who people are, a lot of people are very high on and some people are very low on Josh Rosen.
Josh Rosen, after the Cardinals drafted Kyler Murray, the Dolphins picked him up for a second-round draft pick, which isn't much.
If you have a good quarterback, he's worth two first-round draft picks in a second.
That's the most important position.
A second-round draft pick for potentially a good quarterback is nothing.
So I would not be so quick to be like, oh, we got a tank for Tua.
But I do like, this is essentially what the Browns did is we're just going to hoard picks and then we're going to figure out what to do with that draft pick.
Maybe we'll draft a bunch of good players.
Maybe we'll trade to move up.
Maybe we'll keep moving down.
Like the Browns just hoarded draft picks.
And now that's why they seem so set and why they can trade for Odell because they have so many rookie contracts that are cheap.
It's like, well, we have tons of Caprim or we have Caprim to fuck with.
Right.
If you have a bunch of picks, your cap is way lower for the first maybe, what, three years or something like that?
The first four years, five years for a first-round draft pick, four years in particular are low salaries.
So we got Capron.
That's the game.
Let's go for it.
That's why the Eagles were able to sign everybody when they had Carson Wentz on the rookie deal because we have Capron.
In terms of Jared Goff.
So then what is the game once you have an established quarterback that you have to play?
I don't know.
Nobody knows that except the Patriots.
That's like the big thing that everybody's saying is the Patriots somehow do it.
Nobody else knows how to do it.
Where do they save money?
I don't know.
I mean, we must know.
There are certain positions.
Well, they save money on offense.
And Tom Brady's not the highest paid quarterback.
He's like the 12th highest paid quarterback.
But there were years where he was incredibly high paid and they still were effective.
I think he's always been lower than Max.
He's always taken a little less.
Okay.
But still.
But still.
You're still spending a large percentage of it.
It seems like they invest in lines, quarterback, and that's it.
They don't have high-priced corners that I remember.
The corners are reasonable.
The linebackers are reasonable.
The defensive line seems to be paid well, right?
They had some big guys.
I think they're going to be able to do that.
They can all dip into free agency and sign a big guy here and there, but it's never crazy.
Wide receivers, they don't pay a lot of money.
Wide receivers, nothing.
Running backs, nothing.
I mean, name the last major wide receiver or running back they had.
Well, name the last major running back that they had.
I remember they signed Danny Amendola after Wes Welker left, and he was kind of a big deal for them.
And then he got a big contract with the Chargers, I think.
Probably.
They let you go get a bigger contract.
Go do that.
That's you.
You got that.
We'll find some other average-ass white guy to win Super Bowl MVP.
It's fine.
So that's their whole thinking is there are certain positions in this game that you get meaning, you get a marginal increase in value with superstars.
Like, I think their philosophy is, yes, having an elite Odell Beckham Jr. wide receiver is, he has he is elite, but based on the amount that you pay him more than an average wide receiver, you're getting nominal or marginal increase.
Philosophy.
It makes sense the way you're saying it.
Because think about it.
Let's say you pay a regular wide receiver 10 million a year and you're paying Odell 20, right?
And let's say Odell in that Patriots system is going to get you 20% more yards.
Yeah, whatever it is.
It's not worth it.
It's not worth the 100% more that you're paying in salary.
Yeah.
I think that's an interesting philosophy.
Dude, here's what I think.
If I was the Cowboys, I would have, in this draft, when the Dolphins traded a second, I'd have said, I'll give you a second and a fifth or something.
That way, if Dak is trying to hold out for top five money and I think he's good, but not worth that, now all of a sudden, look, you can go if you want to.
I got a good young guy that's sitting here all year ready.
I didn't, they were going to hesitate because they gave up their first already.
But I would have loved to see the Cowboys trade a second for Josh.
I would have loved it.
Even if he's not great, it's worth a shot.
Because it checks the guy trying to get the contract.
Go, buddy.
I can walk away from you.
Yes.
And right now they're in a situation where...
They can't walk.
Dak has a lot of leverage, which is if I leave, what the fuck do y'all have?
And if you got a quarterback who has potential, you can say, look, we might not be as good, or we might be better.
And we will definitely save a lot of money because he's still on a rookie deal for two more years, three more years, whatever it is.
So, like, go if you need to, buddy.
We're good.
It's interesting.
Go sign for somebody with big money, and you'll lose all the endorsements and being the Cowboys quarterback.
You'll lose the Campbells Chunky Soup.
You're not the Campbell's chunky soup fucking spokesperson in Cincinnati, I promise you.
Yeah.
I promise you.
Chess moves.
Yeah, that's what I would have done.
Major fucking chess moves.
Somehow I didn't say it because nobody else on earth suggested it, but I was just like, why would you not do that?
That's the Belichick move.
Because they're not thinking that far in advance.
I guess not.
And that, to be honest, for me, like, that is what happens when a coach is what happens when a coach is not concerned with his longevity.
Yeah, true.
Like, Belichick can play long game because he knows he's going to be there.
Well, for the Cowboys, the GM is the fucking owners of the team.
Right.
That's the other issue, right?
You got longevity.
You have longevity, so you have to make those moves.
But if you're not sharp enough, and maybe Jerry Jones just doesn't know the game enough, so he can't make those moves.
And your coach, you can't expect him to make those moves because he's like, I might be gone.
I need to win every year to get him.
I ain't worried about two years from now.
Yeah.
It's very interesting.
It's very interesting, my man.
Should we pay some bills?
Pay some bills right quick.
Well, while we're talking about it, guys, if you are gambling this year, you got to do it through my bookie.
Okay?
So new season, Antonio Brown is on the Raiders.
L'évion Bell is on the Jets.
Sodel Beckham Jr. is in Cleveland.
One thing hasn't changed, okay?
That's where you're putting that money down.
Let's get right to it.
All right.
This year, they got these online handicapping super contests, okay?
First place, guaranteed win, at least $100,000 US dollars.
Only costs you $100 to enter.
That's right.
$100 to enter.
You win $100,000.
That seems pretty fucking good, if you ask me.
All you got to do is pick five NFL games against the spread every week to climb the leaderboard and score your share of the huge Cass Prize pool.
My bookie has live in-game betting on every NFL game.
They've got the most rewarding player perks in the business, and you can even bet the over-under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game.
That's wild.
So people are betting.
Fantasy has become so ubiquitous that now people are betting on the value of fantasy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Wow.
Anyway, if you join now, you get up to $1,000 first deposit bonus and double your first deposit.
Do you understand what that is?
That's fucking free money.
Free money.
How could you not...
If you're already going to gamble, listen, if you're already going to gamble, you might as well get the $3,000.
Gambling On Fantasy Meals00:02:55
Right?
This is a no-brainer.
You're already going to gamble.
You get a $3,000.
It's not a bad idea.
I mean, guys, all you got to do is go to my bookie, M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E dot com and use the promo code FLAGRANT.
F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T, when creating your account to claim the bonus bet, win, get paid, my bookie.
Okay.
Okay.
Sounded like you were just doing a spoken word.
It's not that shit.
What else we got going on this week?
Has anybody cared about Campbell's since Donovan McNabb?
Ooh, hot take.
I haven't recalled seeing a Campbell's song.
That chunky soup took a hit, man.
Yeah.
Donovan McNabb, the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, for those of you guys who are not fans of American football, was doing campaigns for Campbell's chunky soup.
Chunky noodle soup.
Was that it?
Just chunky soup.
Just chunky soup.
Yeah, they got a bunch of different kinds.
And Campbell's was these like tin can soups perfect for the apocalypse.
Facts.
And it were just massive ads, and we all knew about it.
And I think I actually ate more soup back then than I do now.
Isn't that crazy?
That's fucking nuts.
Those ads worked on you.
They worked.
They fucking worked.
Is it also that we were just young and poor and couldn't afford food, food?
Possibly.
I wasn't poor.
Yeah, you're right.
But my parents did feed us poor.
Yes.
She fed you like a Scott.
Yeah, we were very, very, very working class in terms of the food we got.
A lot of pasta with red sauce.
A lot of Campbells.
A lot of chili in the can.
Chili in the can, mainstay in my family.
Yo, that's wild.
Like, if we got cheese on it, that was like, damn, mom's in a good mood.
Real talk.
Yeah, very, very few meals meals.
Yeah, yeah.
But, I mean, a great life.
I didn't realize how, like, poor I used to eat until like fairly recently.
Until I started taking it out on the road, bro.
I mean, why don't you get yourself?
We're not having $1,000 Japanese dinners.
We're not there yet.
I think we've had some expensive meals.
I remember that one time.
Do you remember that one time when I took you guys?
I got news.
I got new.
You picked it up because I said one time, twice.
I was trying to calculate that shit, bro.
Fuck.
Forgot that one.
I whiffed.
I whiffed on that one.
What's coming?
First Class Flight Fears00:07:46
Let's go.
I was trying to think of it.
It wasn't there yet.
It was just kind of like formulated in my mind.
Oh, man.
Anyway, but in all seriousness, this is a very important podcast because it very well could be the last one that Alex and I do.
Wednesday night, we go to Mother Russia.
Yeah.
We don't know what we're getting into.
We don't know what we're walking into.
But we do know hookers will be fucked.
Oh, I wanted to ask you something.
But off air, though.
So, we.
I hope your girl's not listening.
I already hoped you're in sports.
It was like, ah, it's all entertainment, babe.
All entertainment.
All entertainment.
No, in all seriousness, we're going to Russia to do shows.
Why they would book me to do shows there, I do not know.
I don't think any of them speak English.
I've heard rumors from Godfrey, comedian Godfrey, hilarious comedian.
So funny.
Godfrey told me when he did the festival last year, he was the first comic to go.
They had a live interpreter.
So it was happening during the show.
People had headsets in, and like it was the UN, and they were interpreting the jokes.
So this is going to be, oh, wild.
I am very excited.
I hope we make it back.
Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, Andrew Schultz, we are going to Russia.
We hope to come back Sunday.
That's all I can say.
Are you doing flight miles yet?
Are you doing that?
Don't know how to do that.
It drives me crazy.
It drives me crazy.
It's too fast.
You fly so much.
You would get upgraded to first class every time you flew.
Don't know how to do it.
And you just stuck with one airline.
How do I do that?
That's bullshit.
We've been telling them to pick an airline.
Tell me which airline.
Set up the fucking account.
As an Indian, it drives me crazy to see you just walking away from first-class upgrades for free.
No, but I got you.
But which one should I do?
What airline should I do?
I don't know which ones to set up accounts.
I'm like the television.
Every fucking airline.
So every time we fly, I'm entering that shit in some way.
So I'm getting my points.
You get your points, but you're not going to be able to do it.
You get it so slowly because we're taking different airlines.
Okay, well, let's just choose an airline.
Let's do it right now on Flagrant 2.
Let's choose an advanced.
I think you liked flying out of LaGuardia or JFK.
I think Delta's the move.
Don't like the colors.
American?
You are American.
You're probably American.
I'm American, son.
You mad American.
What about their shits is trash, though.
I'm United and it's trash, but I just committed at this point.
That's what it is.
Purple Planes, who's that?
Oh, Gay Air?
Also known as a fart.
It comes out of the ass.
Scared it comes out of the ass, guys.
Uh-huh.
I'm an open butthole.
No, no.
Okay, so there is Virgin, that's Virgin, which is now owned by Alaska.
Like it a lot.
I would go with that.
Do they go everywhere?
They don't fly everywhere.
And from what I understand, you don't get first-class upgrades.
That was years ago when I was trying to decide who I was going to go with.
But if you don't get first-class upgrades, it's a waste.
I want first-class upgrades all the time.
Yeah.
All the time.
The homie needs the legroom.
I need the leg room.
What are we going to do?
Huh?
We've got to pick it right fucking now.
I'm with you.
I'm with United.
It's not great.
I'm going to be honest.
I hope somebody that works at United is listening.
Y'all ain't shit.
And Weezy was telling me don't go Delta because like everybody that's the one thing about Delta, but let me say one thing to that.
Delta, two things.
One, everybody seemed to get Delta, so it's harder to get the because you're competing with more people.
We're calling Gagnon right now.
But the other thing about Delta is you fly so fucking much, you're going to beat 95% of the time.
I'm going to beat them all.
Yo, you're on right now.
We're on Flagrant 2.
You're on right now.
You shut the fuck up.
No, this is not serious.
Okay?
Right now, we're choosing what airline we're going to travel for the rest of our lives.
Okay?
Wow.
Okay, this is a big decision.
Okay?
Because apparently I'm not getting the points I deserve.
And Akash says I should be first class on everything, but I'm not.
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah.
So what airline did you go to Japan?
What airline did I go to?
Oh, no.
Japan Air.
Fuck.
See who they're affiliated with.
They're usually like with one of the major airlines and you can still get miles from that.
Oh, they got like a cousin or something that's in the system.
Yeah.
Like Air France is a part of the Delta team, whatever, the sky shit.
So whatever I got that shit with, you're saying I got a...
And you can transfer.
Because all those points, because if you fly business class, you get double the mileage.
So like a 20,000-mile flight to Japan, you get 40.
Double?
Double?
Say it.
Say.
Dumbledore.
Okay, so I think whatever that airline is affiliated with, Mark, whatever that airline is affiliated with, I think that we're going to take that and we're going to go.
Hold up, Mark.
You're smart.
Just do research.
See what the best one is.
Go with that.
What's the best airline, Mark?
I'm thinking Delta, and you're part of the Delta team.
That's the one you want.
Or you just go private.
You know, you stop being cheap.
What happened, Al?
No, he just said Delta and we're not going to do Delta.
Why are we not doing Delta?
Because you're never going to get the upgrade.
No, but you have all the points, but you'll never get the upgrade.
That's what I'm saying.
The idea is everybody flies Delta, so you don't get as many upgrades.
He flies so much, I think he still beats those guys out.
Yo, here's a question.
What if I just take all their points when they fly with me?
You can only take the points you pay.
You get like the I pay for it all.
But the upgrade points you don't get.
It's different.
It's weird.
I got to take all their points.
Alex is just so loyal to Southwest.
He tried to fly that set.
Bro, you're a fucking idiot.
No, son.
Son, son.
We're at the Russian visa, right?
Thank you for bringing that up, Gagnon.
So we're at the Russian visa place.
Y'all is mad, nerve-wracking.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's nerve-wracking.
Of course.
Al got to lie about his felonies.
You know what I mean?
We're going there, and in order to get our visas, we have to have a flight to Russia.
We didn't have the flight yet.
So I'm like, gag now, go book the flights.
We're booking the flights, and then Al just turns around in front of everybody at the Russian visa place.
He goes, yo, yo, see if Southwest goes there because I got points.
I got mad from New York to Sheriff Tenko Airport in Moscow.
Yeah, I got points.
Yo, see if they got Southwest or spirit.
See if spirit goes there.
How the fuck am I supposed to know what airlines go where?
They got a Chinatown bus in the building versus.
All right, all right, Mark.
Yo, figure that out because we got to do this.
We got to be first class.
We should all be first class the amount we fly, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, we better go Casey Notch that we're going to do.
Got him.
Got him.
All right.
Yo.
The amount of people that know him from coming in his shower, it's hilarious.
Tell the story, Al.
Wait, which one?
He gets it every single show.
Tell the story about Chicago.
Okay, so he gets on stage.
He's like, so he was selling merch before the show.
He's like, hey, I'm the merch guy.
Some of you know me as the merch guy.
And then people just start yelling out, and you jerked off his shoe to shower.
Taco Tuesday Trademarks00:13:13
So the whole place goes, oh, Sunday corrupted.
I told, because I had to tell it's like, it's like, people don't get it.
Like, we got like the fucking, we got a mafia out here.
You know what I mean?
So like, when we introduce people to the army, they know you.
It's different.
You know what I mean?
So like when you come out to the shows, if you've been on the podcast, they're going to know who the fuck you are.
They're going to know Chris.
They're going to go Giannis.
They're going to know all the people.
But it was funny.
They're like, you whacked off and blah, blah, blah.
What a bad first impression to make on the Army.
God bless it.
Anyway, anyway, Akrash, what else are we thinking?
Let me see what else.
The Chargers said that Melvin Gordon can seek a trade, which I think means they are going to try to trade Melvin Gordon.
Now, I like that.
But before we get into that, while we're talking about San Diego, you know, it's very close to Mexico, which is a country very close to my heart.
And Mexico is the inventor of the Taco.
Oh, yes.
Let's talk about that.
And a Lebron James announced on his Instagram that every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.
Yeah.
Any cultural appropriation here?
None?
None whatsoever, but that's fine.
People were excited.
It was an embracement of another culture.
Yeah.
It was exciting to see.
I'm sure our Latino brothers and sisters were like, ha, this is awesome to see the greatest basketball player in history debate embracing their culture, their cuisine.
What an amazing bridge that has been built to connect these two cultures.
And this week, LeBron James announced that he has trademarked Taco Tuste or is trying to trademark it.
Trying to.
One.
How?
Yeah, I don't understand.
Like, I've been having these thoughts lately just about how absurd a trademark is in a lot of ways.
Like, trademarking a word?
Ohio State tried to trademark the word the son.
What do these people think?
Like, you don't own anything.
Like, you don't, the idea that you can own shit is so fucking absurd.
Louis Duvall, he created Basic Bitch.
Yes.
That's the guy calling everybody Basic Bitch.
Yes.
Now Basic is just a term.
And do you got to pay him five cents every time you say basic?
Dog, it is even let's get ready to rumble.
Yeah.
Okay, you said a few words together.
It doesn't make it yours.
I disagree with you guys, man.
Okay, go on.
Go why.
Give me the other.
So let's take the, let's get ready to run.
No, that's too.
That's actually because he's the first guy to really make that thing.
Taco Tuesday, every fucking town got a Mexican restaurant does Taco Tuesday.
So if you pop up and now you have a Taco Tuesday on Instagram, now you got to pay him on.
So I don't know.
I didn't look into the details, but I don't know if it's just spelled out like the correct way or Taco Tuesday, the same way how Bud.
What the fuck?
Now you thought that he trademarked using a Mexican accent?
Oh, because Budweiser trademarked the Wazap.
This is so fucking shit.
Yeah, so it's like if it's said that way, so then people can't put it on shirts, Taco Tuesday, or use it in commercials.
If you're using his likeness and saying Taco Tuesday, I get it.
Or because that's his likeness that you're not allowed to use.
Nobody has been saying it the way that he's saying that.
So if it's spelled, he's saying it would spell like T-A-A-A-A-C-O-O.
But you can get around that easily.
If he spells it T-A-A-A, I can spell it T-A-E-T-A-A or like an extra A.
Yeah, true.
But I'm just saying he just wants that way of saying it to be, oh, that's my shit.
Why?
So he could make money off of it.
Well, I think it's so people can't make money off of what he popularized.
But in my opinion, I don't think you should be able to own words per se.
And I know I come from stand-up comedy, right?
So that's like hard because people could say, people say, you know, what if somebody does your joke?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's different.
I think that's somebody stealing your intellectual property, right?
He would say the same thing.
But what we would say is that existed before you, and we know for a fact that it existed before you.
We know 100% fact that Taco Tuesday existed before you.
So there's no way that you could say that's your intellectual property.
Whereas I can argue that unless you can show me this exact thought that I've had that I put together, right?
If someone else has had that and done that before me, then I can make the argument that that thought is mine, right?
What about poetry?
What about it?
Someone writes a poem and then other people perform it.
I mean, that's yours, man.
It's like if they're performing your poem, like, yo, that's it.
For me, as a comic, it would be about the credit.
It would be knowing if you're doing my joke, knowing it's mine.
If you're just telling somebody Akash things had this joke, great.
If you're saying the joke as if it's yours and your thought, fine.
I don't think anybody is saying Taco Tuesday and people don't know where it's from.
Or even that, it's like you can't trademark something that has existed before you.
That's so fucking dumb.
Yeah, but he's saying it different.
No, he's not.
His point is saying it like he thinks Mexicans say it.
It's like he's using a stereotypical Mexican accent to say it.
I'm surprised he hasn't gotten in trouble for that, to be honest.
Yeah, like imagine you were like, China Cong Buffet!
We'd be like, holy shit, this is the most racist.
LeBron, you are racist, but it's Taco Tuesday.
That's okay.
That shit rings off, so that shit rigs off.
I had two Taco Tuesdays after that.
That shit rigs off.
No, dude, it's just like the Budweiser WhatsApp.
WhatsApp has existed before that.
That's crazy they trademarked that.
I think in his mind, it's like, I don't want to see motherfuckers selling shirts with this on it.
Exactly.
It's also like, man, bro, you're a billionaire.
No, you got to take that L. Like, I'm sorry, if you make a fucking phrase funny or something.
And everybody knows it's yours.
And if motherfuckers want to sell some shirts on their own, it's not fucking champion putting out Taco Tuesday shirts.
It's not Nike.
We share language.
We share phrases.
We share.
That's just part of culture that's shared.
Like, if you invite, if you're like, yes, if you invent that, whoever the first person to invent that is, you got to chalk that up to the game, dog.
You just invented that.
That's what it is.
If motherfucker.
Yeah.
I just disagree.
Like, Duvall should have capitalized off of Basic Bitch.
He should have trademarked it, threw out some shirts.
He could have made a bunch of money.
I'd be surprised if he wins this, to be honest.
He got to lose it, bro.
Because Ohio State lost their the thing because they wanted to sell shirts that just said the on it, which is a hot shirt if you go to Ohio State.
Hell yeah.
But I think people would just like, no, you don't get to trademark that word.
You just don't.
Somebody else tried to, Tom Brady tried to trademark Terrific Tom or Tom Terrific, and I think they said no to that.
So Taco Tuzzy, I'd be surprised if it won.
And then you had made the argument one time.
It's like if somebody invents something in America and then somebody in Turkey invents the same shit but has never seen that, it shouldn't be illegal for them to do that.
Correct.
100%.
I completely disagree with that because we can't prove that the person in Turkey didn't see.
Well, that's why you have like this trademark coalition.
I mean, that's how I feel with jokes.
Like, if there's somebody that has thought of a similar idea than me as a joke, right?
But has never seen me perform, I've never seen them perform, I'm not going to accuse them of stealing my joke.
I'm just going to say, hey, we both have parallel thinking in this regard, and that's just what it is.
Matter of fact, whenever I've seen anybody do something similar to me, I simply just go up to them and be like, hey, I just want to let you know I have something similar to that.
I'm not accusing you of anything, right?
Clearly, I don't know you.
So this is, I just want to let you know.
Blah, blah, blah.
Simple as that, right?
Because people can think of similar shit.
If there's one thing that we understand from looking at comments underneath Instagram pictures, is motherfuckers say the same shit.
You look at any popular Instagram account, look at the comments that are under a pick, it will be the top comments will all be like similar.
They'll be like all the same general idea about the pick, and then people like it and think it's kind of funny.
These things happen.
So how do you feel about it?
Remember when we went to Europe and they have like the Carlin guy and, you know.
Well, that's different.
That is purposely stealing.
That's purposeful stealing.
What do you mean, the Carlin guy?
So back in Europe, they didn't understand how to do comedy.
So what they just did is they took Americans' comedy and they just translated it to their language.
And then they would just do people's jokes.
So there would be one guy who was the Carlin guy and another guy who was the Lenny Bruce guy and another guy that was this.
And they would just do their best.
For me, the differentiator, like I said, is credit.
Like if everybody knows Taco Tuesday's LeBron's and somebody wants to sell t-shirts with it, if I'm LeBron, I'm like, oh, that's great.
That's getting my shit out there more.
Now, he probably feels different because he doesn't ever say anything that's useful to people.
Nobody's out here taking LeBron's words.
Right.
Yeah, but how would you feel about if there's in China the Akash guy?
If everybody knows he's doing me, great.
Now, what if they don't know?
That's the difference.
But everybody knows Taco Tuesday's LeBron.
If you're selling a Taco Tuesday shirt, the only reason I'm buying it is to sell like LeBron.
Yeah, but why would you feel away if you can't perform the jokes in Chinese anyway?
So it's not like you're missing out on any money.
Because it's intent.
If they see me, it's also.
It's intent.
If they see me and they speak English, they're going to be going, oh, that guy just, that guy's just like.
Yeah, if they speak English, back up from that.
Back up from that.
And I can't speak for you.
All I'm saying is for me, it's intent.
If you intend to steal my shit and profit on it, that's wrong.
If you were literally just making the same observation about a bottle of water and then we happen to do that, that's fine.
That's why that's the same thing, for example, like when I was given the patent example with the zipper.
It's like, if you create a zipper in America and that's what you want to do and some guy in Turkey wants to close his shirt so he makes a zipper device, that kind of America shouldn't be able to, what is it called, sue that guy in Turkey.
But if you're a guy in America who worked at the zipper factory and then you go like, fuck this, I'm starting my own factory.
You start making zippers the exact same formula.
It's like, no, you stole.
You intended to steal.
So then why don't you agree with trademarking words?
Because LeBron's work ethic, his likeness, the reason why Taco Tuesday is popular is because of all the work he's put into.
So to him, I'm going back up back up.
So now he made it up.
Back up, back up, back up, back up.
Can I just finish this point?
So he made it to say it that way.
And so if somebody puts it on his shirt, Taco Tuesday long, they're profiting off of what he made.
Let me ask you a question.
How do Mexicans say Taco Tuesday?
Come on, son.
Taco Tuesday.
Like that.
Taco Tuesday.
Doe, you're the hysteremic.
I am or LeBron is LeBron is.
So, so, so, what I'm trying to say is, LeBron, has Taco Tuesday existed before LeBron?
Yes.
Has a Mexican said Taco Tuesday out loud with their accent?
Yes, but not the way LeBron said it.
No, of course, because LeBron doesn't know how to do the accent well.
Exactly.
But his intent was to copy a Mexican saying some shit that has already been said, that has already been marketed all around America, has already been marketed all over the place.
Also, it doesn't say I'm looking at the article.
To our point, it says he's just filing to trademark the term Taco Tuesday.
Not even the spy.
I didn't get more on board if his T-A-A-C-O-O.
And then I was thinking, I was like, maybe I would be annoyed if, especially if I'm LeBron.
And again, I don't say shit people copy a bunch.
And now I did it.
And I see motherfuckers making money off my shit.
I can see that being annoying.
Just trademarking the term Taco Tuesday.
Son, 100,000 Mexican restaurants in America have had Taco Tuesday before you.
So that's all I'm saying to you.
Your intent is to copy something and then profit on it.
That's your intent.
Now, if he invents like a crazy new phrase, watermelon Wednesday, and I'm not even saying that to be racial.
I'm just saying.
So, whatever, like that.
I'm doing soul food Saturdays and I'm trademarking it.
Soul Food Saturdays.
I'm doing Soul Food Saturdays and that's mine.
So anybody wants to take it, we're having a lot of people.
Imagine an Indian.
Imagine an Indian who's like, literally, did like a stereotypical Southern accent.
Soul Food Saturday, da-da-da, blah, blah.
And just dress up as the Popeyes lady.
And then start trying to trademark it.
Black people would go crazy, but what the fuck are you doing?
It's cultural appropriation.
You can't do it.
We've been doing soul food Saturday forever.
That's all I'm saying.
It's just the intent.
But it's so absurd he even thought he could do it.
Like, you have to live in a delusional reality.
That's some real white shit.
To take something from a minority who's more oppressed than you and then make money on it and trademark it so they can't make money on it.
That's some shit y'all accuse white people of doing respect.
NBA Dunking Realism00:04:43
Hey, bro, y'all playing the game.
I love that motherfucker.
Y'all finally understand that.
Well, listen, while we're talking about the NBA, I just want to let you know that this isn't a game, okay?
NBA 2K202K20, not a game.
This is a place where games come to learn with next level graphics and gameplay, groundbreaking game modes, and unparalleled player control and customization.
NBA 2K20 continues to redefine what's possible in sports gaming.
NBA 2K20 is a platform for gamers and ballers to come together and create what's next in basketball culture, whether you're showcasing your style and battling it out on the blacktop in an active, vibrant, and immersive open world neighborhood, if you will, building your perfect fantasy roster in my team, or balling out with your favorite team in play now mode.
And for the first time ever, NBA 2K20 will feature all 12 WNBA teams, complete with gameplay animations, play styles, and visuals built exclusively for the women's game.
No, this isn't a game at all.
This is a place everything else follows.
Pre-order NBA 2K20 featuring Anthony Davis and Dwayne Wade today.
NBA 2K20.
Welcome to What's Next?
And we back, baby.
Akasha's back.
Son.
Can we talk about how useless having them WNBA teams in there is?
No, I'm not.
We gotta talk.
Listen, I'm still gonna listen.
People are gonna get NBA 2K20.
It's hot, dog.
The game is fire.
You build the whole team.
You start from scratch.
You can play on the black top.
You know what I mean?
And you got the WNBA.
It's like bonus features on a DVD back in the day.
They didn't make the movie whack.
Movie was dope.
Makes it even better.
I just, you know, I don't need some of these bonus features.
I don't need director commentary throughout the movie.
Real talk.
That's WNBA.
Yo, y'all knew it was 12 teams in the WNBA?
I had no clue.
I thought it was more.
I thought it was more.
It's only 12 teams in the WNBA.
You learn something new every single time.
So each season is just the playoffs?
Basically.
2016 makes the NBA playoffs.
Bro, this is wild.
Okay, so WNBA, okay, they're in.
So I don't understand.
So like when girls, here's what I'm trying to understand.
So like when girls are growing up, they still want to play like NBA players, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
I imagine you want to play like the best people that play regardless of gender, which happen to be NBA players, right?
So if you want to play like NBA players and this game is all about playing as the people that you dream to play like, why would you play WNBA mode?
I predict this will be the least used feature in any video game in this video.
Yo, they gotta, they gotta, that's gonna be I would love to see the analytics on.
I'm gonna do the analytics of how many times people have played.
No, we should log on and try to play.
You know how they have like the international play?
Yeah, yeah.
Like not international, but like global play.
You could play against each other.
Dude, we should log on.
Dude, logging on to that's gonna be like chat roulette.
You know when you like thought you were gonna get to see some titties, but it's just dicks all the time?
You know, that's it.
We log on, try to play WNBA 2K.
We just try to play WNBA 2K.
I wonder if they're gonna make the players better than they really are.
Like, I wonder how many players are gonna be able to dunk.
Oh, there's a couple that can dunk.
Listen, you make the NBA players better than they are.
But you make, you're still gonna, you're gonna close the gap.
Yes.
Because if you made it too realistic, everybody would think it wasn't realistic.
Right.
You don't want to make it too realistic.
Yeah.
But like, even just the gameplay is just going to be boring.
Like, we played the NBA 2K joint so we could fucking dunk on people's heads.
Or imagine like a fast break.
And you just do a layup?
Yeah.
Like, there's usually a button that you can like do a trick.
I think they're going to be able to dunk a few of them.
I bet they're going to make them better than their players.
Okay, so there's going to be two or three that can dunk.
I bet they're going to make a lot of them able to dunk.
And they're not going to make it too ridiculous, but they're going to make it.
They're going to close the gap.
Whatever.
We don't have to talk about it anymore.
They should have them going up for dunks and just fucking bricking.
Spasming?
Yeah, shit.
That would be realistic.
Vodka And Emotional Connection00:10:34
Guys, let me ask this question.
It's for Latin women mostly.
They can't get over WNBA.
Why is it Latin women?
And if there's any Latinas listening, why is it that when y'all get fat, you don't buy bigger jeans?
Like, I'd never have understood this.
Like, they just wear the same jeans, and then the fat just kind of spills over the jeans.
Yeah.
But why is that?
And they'll wear the same belly shirts even if their belly's growing.
Like, why is it?
How are they so unaffected by their weight gain?
Have you seen Latin men?
They do the same shit there.
Or they just don't care.
They don't care.
They fucking everything.
So that's the thing.
They just do not care.
Yeah.
So Latin men.
I would have five wives.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, maybe I'm exaggerating.
At least two.
At least two.
They have the main wife here, and then they have the girlfriend back at home.
And they'll just take care of two families.
That's like a common thing they don't like to talk about.
Because you have Puerto Rican?
I just know.
Yeah.
We did a dropping in episode, and the guy was saying that to us.
He was like, yeah, he wants to point it out.
Yeah, you always have your family in DR and then your family here.
That's wild to me, dog.
It is wild.
Maybe we've spoken about it on this podcast, but like if that's the case and everybody knows that's the case, why do they just, the girls get so upset when they find a guy cheating?
Because they just don't like to get embarrassed.
So it's like, hey, we know what's happening.
Just don't be sloppy with it.
Oh, so you just did it in front of everybody?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't want to know.
You piece of shit.
I've heard that from women.
I don't want to find out about it.
I don't want to find out about it.
I mean, that is some dickhead shit.
I used to date this Dominican girl and her family was the side family.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
So it's like the father rarely was around.
He'd hit him off with money every once in a while, but definitely had a whole other family.
To make that girl happy, why would you ever break up with her?
Yo, what is that?
What is she doing?
Daddy issues, man.
What does she go through emotionally?
That's fucking crazy.
Why do they want another family?
I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
That makes no sense.
Cheating, I understand on a biological level.
But the responsibility of a whole other family.
Responsibility?
No.
Even paying money for it, all that kind of shit.
Like just coming over, you know, Christmas Eve and shit.
Yeah, but you know, when you go to DR, you live like a king with $100.
It's not that much more.
So they're just sending money over.
Send a little money over every once in a while.
You go over there, fuck them.
So it's like the starving kids where you just got to give them a little bit.
$12 a month.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How much is it up to now?
Bro, it's like $30 a month.
A dollar a day.
It used to be $10.
That used to be cents.
I know, bro.
I know.
Poor kids got greedy.
They getting hungry.
We gave them an appetite.
Spoiled, dog.
Spoiled, bro.
That's why their stomach's so big.
All full and shit.
So I'm feeding them a dollar a day.
These motherfuckers getting obese out there.
Real talk.
Hell yeah.
Sarah McLaughlin, you need to chill.
Turn off that music, Sarah.
Oh, man.
Shit.
Giving these kids hypertension.
Bro, don't you be hearing two women nagging you at the same time?
That's awful, dog.
They don't deal with that.
They just get drunk.
Just get drunk and they go hang out in the corner with.
Is that why they play the music so loud so they can't hear the girls bitching?
The second their girl starts to complain about something.
You just say, Sumole motherfucker, we got the brendel, Matoni.
Sumole mother, woman, we got the bandilo, matoni.
Sumula mother, wait, we got the bandilo, matone.
Come on, Eggo, hello, and that's why they always got their windows down in the cars and they play with no headphones in the train.
They're just trying to help everybody else out.
Hey, in case your bitch is nagging you, here you go.
Just listen to some gasoline now real quick.
Drown this shit out.
Damn, soul.
Oh, man.
Yeah, man.
Yo, they got that shit made, bro.
They really got it.
They figured it out because keep your girl dancing, keep music on, keep shit happening.
Keep her pregnant.
It's always moving.
Keep her pregnant.
It's always keep the machine going.
It's like the American economy.
It's like, debt, we'll figure that out later.
Just keep on going, bro.
Keep on salsa and that shit.
Old Spanish men are the happiest guys.
They really are not upset.
Playing dominoes.
What if that game, Domino's, is really just about side bitches?
It's like, three.
I'm not your three.
Dude, that's it.
They really figured out life.
They just accept that their girl's going to be nagging about shit.
That's where us whites and us blacks, we do not understand yet.
We're all trying to figure out our women.
We're trying to understand why they're upset and get to the bottom of it.
Like, that's something us white and blacks say all the time.
All right, let's get to the bottom of this.
Ain't no bottom.
There isn't.
These bitches is empty.
It's a pit.
It's a bottomless pit.
Black hole of complaints and nagging.
That's it.
That's all it is.
But them Spanish understand it.
So they're like, what was that?
Benzo, man.
That's all the songs, they screaming.
They are screaming.
They are screaming.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm at my other wife's house.
Wow.
Bro, that's the fucking thing.
They figured it out, man.
They're happy.
All of them are happy.
Holy shit.
So it's just let your girl complain.
Yeah.
And the second your girl starts complaining, you go to your other girl.
And then when she starts complaining, you go back to your original girl and she's so happy to have you back.
She's not complaining for a little bit.
Oh, my God.
That's crazy.
Maybe that's why they call it a seesaw.
Because I see, I saw.
You saw stupid.
Let's just describe the Latino relationship, man.
I see you for a little bit.
You're an idiot.
You really are an idiot.
Yeah, maybe.
Bro, they got it figured the fuck out, man.
All right, let's do another sports story.
We got to do another one.
We out here having too much fun.
Oh, bro.
We really having too much fun out here, motherfucker.
I know this shit going to end as soon as we get home.
For y'all.
For y'all.
Oh, why not for all three of us?
Fuck you.
Yo.
Can we just know?
All right.
Stop.
Sports.
Yo, why did he start it?
I didn't start it.
Stop it.
No, miserable company, son.
You made me miserable with us.
You can't be miserable with us, bro.
I mean, that's not alone.
Yo, I'm happy.
I'm going to Russia, baby.
I don't know about you.
I'll go to Russia.
Come back with another one, son.
Motherfucker is going to the source.
He got serious.
He got serious.
That's motherfucking got serious.
We need Alex.
He wants like this.
He wants like this.
He missed a sniff.
Yeah.
Might come back with a little wife or something.
I don't know.
That's your chess erect.
White-ass countries.
Yo, but that's the thing about these roosties, these Russian chicks.
They got some Asian in them.
Oh, so they're a little docile?
No.
These bitches will salt you, bro.
They don't play.
Okay.
But they got a little Asian in them, right?
Because if you go like way east in Russia, they're all Asian looking.
So that little mixture makes them extra pretty, bro.
Prettiest white women, bro.
Russians?
Yeah, I guess.
Prettiest white women.
Do you know?
Pretty is not, well, yeah.
Do you know about like the whole Russian wife thing?
Why is that a big deal?
Or why?
Male order brides?
Yeah.
Because there was no men.
Yeah.
They all died in Chernobyl.
Son, they died in short.
They shipped their women out.
25 million Russians died in World War II, majority men.
So now you have this surplus of women in the culture.
You have this crazy sexual revolution because bitches just needed dick.
There was no dick to go around.
So it was all these badass Russian bitches.
No dudes could get them pregnant or fuck.
The dudes that were there were, you know, getting drunk on vodka and that shit because you're dealing with a horribly, you know, depressing time.
And so they're like, fuck it, we out, man.
So when you order one, who's the money going to?
Russian iceberg slim, dog.
Real talk.
For her.
No, I don't know.
Maybe some pimp service, but like on some real shit, maybe a little goes to her family or something.
Who knows?
But like, I think the rationale behind it is like, yo, my life sucks here.
I could definitely be in a shitty relationship in America.
In America.
If I'm going to be a shitty relationship here, I might as well be a shitty relationship in Phoenix.
Like, that's the thing.
I think that's why they make the best male order brides, whatever, is because their culture, this is not like a negative thing to say, but like their cultural verb or whatever is to suffer.
I was talking to these guys about this, and there's a guy who's like mapped the cultural codes of the world.
And their verb is to suffer, right?
And suffering, we look at it as a bad thing, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
That's why you'll never beat them at war, because when they're suffering, that's when they're most comfortable.
And they admire suffering.
Like when you see a male ballerina or some shit in Russia, they think that's macho.
They think that's like there's, they honor that.
They're like, he's not some pussy like we look at in America.
They're like, the amount of suffering he must have gone through to get to that.
He's like, he must have fucked to get to that.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what I mean?
So it's like they admire that shit.
Any sort of stuff.
That's why they have such great art that comes out of there.
You know, ballet, writing, Dostoevsky, like all these people wrote about misery.
They wrote about suffering, but there's this great art that comes from Russia.
And that's where vodka plays into the culture.
Because the vodka, like they actually have a lot of passion, but they're such cold people.
But their passion is, the access point to that is vodka.
Vodka.
And it's like, that's why it's so important to them.
It's not about being drunk.
It's about connecting emotionally.
We're going to be so blocked off and cut off from the world and from humanity and from community.
Crypto Currency Dreams00:06:12
But this one thing allows us to open up for a little bit and let other people in and connect.
That's why it's like, apparently vodka is ubiquitous with everything.
Like you're on a walk in the forest.
All right, here's some vodka.
We're going skiing.
Here's some vodka.
It's like it's everywhere.
Apparently, we'll find out, but that's what I've been hearing.
I'm stoked.
As long as we don't die.
Yeah, I still think it's a setup.
We could die.
Yeah, a couple people are nervous.
We might die.
We might die.
All right, let's do one more and then we got to run up out of here.
Sense.
Let me tell you, here's the stories I saw.
Let me know which one catches you.
Rockets extend Eric Gordon.
LaShawn McCoy to the Chiefs.
The past release Demarius Thomas.
They're probably going to re-sign him.
The Chargers might try to trade Melvin Gordon.
Or Pop has kind of anointed Donovan Mitchell, the leader of Team USA.
Yeah, what do you think about that?
I don't know if it's because Donovan Mitchell's about to break out or if it's because Team USA sucks that much.
Fam, we really suck.
I mean, like, it's bad, huh?
The article I read was talking about how close they are.
And it's like, if that's what we're banking on, is they're friends, we're not the best.
I never heard a team describe that.
The only positive thing you could write about.
Yeah, if the best thing you're talking about is a team's chemistry, I promise you that's not the most talented team in the world.
Bro, have you seen their handshakes?
Bro, these guys have some amazing handshakes.
They really like each other.
Bro, you got to hear these inside jokes.
I mean, the way they're ribbing each other as they're flying from country to country to play in this basketball tour.
I mean, it's unprecedented.
It's unprecedented.
Well, right now we're up against Czech Republic 88 to 67.
We're supposed to.
Yeah.
They don't have any blacks.
We're playing countries that have no blacks.
Bro, we lost to Australia, dog.
They just got blacks.
They just got blacks.
Right?
Like, we're not supposed to lose to these European-ass countries, bro.
Hell no.
Like, that's embarrassing.
That's sad.
Our B squad is supposed to still beat these motherfuckers.
If we lose to the fucking, what are they called?
Lithuania or any of that shit?
Come on, dude.
Spain, come on, bro.
No, this is an embarrassment.
We got to go to war.
No, we got to go to war.
If we lose, we got to go to war.
With the country that beat us or does any country?
Yo.
At that point, we just got to show off.
We got to let people know what the fuck time it is.
You might be right.
Watch they lose.
That's probably why we went to Iraq that second time.
Son.
It's like, yo, we got bronze?
Now y'all got to get bombs.
Who's the bronzest looking people?
Because they out of here.
They fucking out of here.
All right.
Real talk.
That might be the fucking problem, bro.
Bro, we lost in 2002.
All of a sudden, in 2003, we have war.
Son, weapons of mass destruction.
That Spanish national team.
That's what that shit was.
Manu, bro.
That's on Manu.
Oh, no, Argentina.
We lost Argentina?
I think they got gold, but we lost to it.
Maybe we lost.
I don't know who we lost to, actually.
Whatever.
Point is, we can't lose.
You know what?
I'm not going to lie.
If we do lose, Trump is going to love it.
Because he's going to be like, look who won't be invited to the White House.
Oh, you thought you were going to boycott.
Well, we boycott losers over here.
Ain't no bronze in the White House.
You're not getting these fresh Popeyes chicken sandwiches.
Son, who's getting the Popeyes chicken sandwiches first at the White House?
Sam?
Son.
That is going to be a show.
Did we talk about it yet?
Yeah, we did.
We did.
We didn't talk about the Popeye's chicken sandwich.
Have you tried it yet?
No.
What are we talking about here?
Or maybe it was idiots.
I don't know.
I thought I had the finesse move, dog.
I went to, you know, Jersey got all these rest stops.
I went to one of them, sold Popeyes.
I was like, this is the finesse move.
No fucking line.
They don't even sell the chicken sandwich.
Nope.
It sold out everywhere.
We drove by one yesterday that had it, but we didn't stop in with the channel.
Yo, you know who's on it now, son?
They have a sign that says we have chicken sandwiches like Jordan's.
Wow.
You know who's on it now?
Who?
Them Aijans.
How so?
So Koreans make bomb-fried chicken.
That's true.
Bomb-fried chickens.
That's true.
Like, they do not play around.
That's for Alex to co-sign it.
I'm wrong?
No.
Korean fried chicken is very ponchon and all that.
It's very well known.
Very well respected.
Just for their fried chicken.
It's a bonding thing.
It's breakdancing and fried chicken.
That's what y'all bond about.
Facts.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Koreans lined up.
Lined up outside the Popeyes, son.
Lined up.
It's on another level now.
Once it breaks away from just blacks or whites, bro, once all the minority groups are coming together to do it, it's on another level.
It's a rap.
It's a rap.
It's nothing you could do.
Popeye's coming up big.
Popeye's showing big first quarter gains, bro.
Oh, Popeyes doing numbers, bro.
I mean, the smart thing right now might be to short Popeyes if it's a public company.
How are you short again?
Everybody learns this.
Every bet against the stock instead of debt that the stock's going to go down because they're at the highest it's ever going to be, and they can't maintain this.
No way.
No.
Short that puppy.
That's a good financial tip.
Now, I don't know how to do that, so don't do it.
But I'm just saying.
Look out how to short a stock.
Yeah, look that's let us know.
Let us know if it works so I could take credit.
Okay?
Yo, we need to just trademark some dumb shit just to prove how dumb it is.
Short stock Saturday.
Real talk.
Let's trademark some dumbass shit just to prove how fucking dumb that is.
When we get rich.
How we get rich.
Bro, you getting there?
Somebody's going to sell our shit, make millions, and then we're going to sue them.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Somebody's been talking to us about, and I need to follow up about a flagrant cryptocurrency.
We would have our own cryptocurrency, which would be ill.
Asking cryptocurrency.
Oh, God, God.
I got to talk to you.
I still can't understand that cryptocurrency.
Bro, me neither.
He sent a thing.
I got to read it.
I've been busy with his wedding.
Until I can understand it, I ain't fucking with it.
Even though I have stock in it, but that shit plummeted.
What, Bitcoin?
Yeah.
I got some Litecoins that I'm just holding on to.
No, stay on Bitcoin.
Shadow Algorithm Views00:12:43
You're good.
Just stay on there.
It's a long-term bet.
Yeah.
Cryptocurrency.
Yeah.
How do the Crips not have that?
Bruh.
Yo.
They got to have some crypto currency.
Son, if every time after you got initiated, you got a Bitcoin, that shit would be ill, son.
Well, Bitcoin would be blood.
Oh, right.
Cryptocurrency would be black.
Cripcoin.
Cripcoin.
Son.
Let's trademark Cripcoin.
I don't want any beep with them, bro.
You could have your shit back.
If I was a blood, I'd trademark Cripcoin.
Yeah, that'd be shot.
That'd be the good move.
They really want to go.
If they want to have that warfare, that's the fucking way to do it.
All right.
One last one, and then we got to dip.
I still, I read the stories that I had seen.
So let me know, Alex.
Also, if you don't mind checking one more time, seeing if anything popped up.
We're doing this on Sunday.
So if any of you.
Yo, yeah, guys.
If we are, I will say this.
Okay, before we wrap this up, I will say this.
I love y'all.
Thank y'all so much for watching.
Views from the Sis.
Thank you so much for watching the CrowdWork special.
By the time this is out, the CrowdWork special will be at around half a million views just on YouTube.
We include Twitter, Instagram.
We're over a million.
Damn.
It's really fucking amazing, dog.
No promo, no press release, no nothing.
Literally just dropped it on YouTube and y'all shared it.
This has been the most shared piece of my content in history by far.
I can't even tell you, motherfuckers is on Instagram sharing it, telling people on Twitter.
It's like it was, it was unbelievable to see.
It was unbelievable.
Alex got his flowers, man.
Alex starting to get mentioned in the write-ups.
That was pretty cool.
What they call you?
I don't know.
They call him something cool in a cool write-up in the Intero Bang.
Check that shit out.
But I really appreciate that, man.
I think that we did something that was, you know, I think it was awesome for comedy.
I think it proved, I think it proved something comedically, which is really just people want to laugh at themselves and they can laugh at themselves.
And, you know, people are.
Great sick joke on there.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that, man.
Shout out to my sicks.
It was one of those things that, like, I've always believed that you can make fun of somebody no matter what culture if you know, if you show them that you actually know a little about their culture.
And it's like the corny jokes.
I would rather you knowingly make fun of me than not knowingly be nice to me.
Right?
Yeah.
This blanket, oh, I love your culture.
You don't know anything about it.
I don't know anything about it.
Phony fuck.
Yeah.
So it's like, it's interesting.
And like, I don't know.
I get a lot of comments.
Like, why is it that they're okay with you making fun of them or this, that, the other?
And if you just look at the way the people that are from those cultures react, they just appreciate it's not the same hack joke made about them.
100%.
Like, how often do sick people have to hear like Muslim terrorist jokes?
And it's like, dude, we're not even Muslim.
You're sick.
You know, so it's like the fact that someone can differentiate in and of itself, they're like, okay, you're not just some fucking hack going for these.
That's a Korean joke about breakdancing as opposed to just Chinese.
Right, exactly.
I'm not just like making this big grass.
What is it?
What's it called?
Generalization, right?
But it was just really cool.
It was just a really cool thing to see and see grow organically and truly organically grow.
Because we didn't hit the algorithm and YouTube did a little sneaky shit.
They were asking people to review their experience watching it.
Really?
And I think it's because they've never done this with any other video that we've had out.
But I think what happened is we had so many people going to it in such high viewing and such high like to dislike ratio.
We got a thousand to one like to dislike ratio.
Like it's insane.
I think that either YouTube, who's been eyeing me, is going, what's this guy doing?
What's going on over here?
I think it's like some shady shit.
Either some shady shit, they're like, is this really fucked up that he's producing?
Like, can we get behind this with advertisers?
Why are so many people going to this video and watching it all the way through?
Like, what the fuck is happening over here?
Tell us about your experience.
Because they need to be careful before they throw it into the algorithm.
This right here is organic.
It's not the algorithm.
We experience a steady bump the whole time.
When your shit gets into the algorithm, and Alex, you can attest to this.
It explodes.
It usually hits around like 100 and then explodes.
This was 10,000 an hour for hours on end until we got up to here.
And it's like, and it's still going.
And that's literally because person by person, people are sharing this with their friends.
Yeah.
Spreading like a disease, man.
It's amazing to do this in spite of YouTube trying to hold us back.
In spite of these different things.
And like, it's just so fucking cool.
So thank y'all so much.
And keep sharing it.
If you love it and you think it's important for comedy and you want to show people that people still have a sense of humor, keep putting that shit out.
I got shadow banned by IG.
You did?
Yeah.
Oh, sick.
Yeah.
When did it happen?
Because all of it, I couldn't figure out.
Well, they took down a video that wasn't offensive.
They said it was bullying or something.
I appealed.
They immediately put it back up.
Then all of a sudden, it just says as they took it down, they said, if you would like to appeal, do so here.
And I just said, this isn't offensive or something.
And then 20 minutes later, they're like, your appeal has been approved, upheld, whatever.
The video's back online.
But, you know, if you can look, I can look at my page and it has the number of people who visit in the past seven days.
It legitimately in the past week has dropped 75% or something like that.
Like I was getting like no bullshit, like 30,000 people in the last seven days, which for me, at the time, I had 15,000 followers.
I was getting like a couple hundred followers a day.
And every video was just getting shared and commented, whatever.
Then all of a sudden it just stopped.
I had 415,000 on the on one joke and it's getting like 10, 15,000 a day.
I'm like, oh, and it hits 500,000.
I'll post about it, whatever.
All of a sudden, I went back and checked.
It's gotten like 400 views in the past week.
And then my mom called me and she said, how come when I search on your name on Google, your Instagram doesn't pop up anymore?
Because she's foreign.
But if you search my name on Google, type in Akash Singh, Akash Singh website, Akash Singh Twitter, Akash Singh IMDB, Akash Singh Famous Birthdays, no Instagram.
So they basically, this is their way of like suppressing problematic people.
And this is the hardest time.
Basically what happened with you is, yeah, yeah.
So what happened with you is you got the initial buzz that a lot of people get when they put out clips, right?
Like because the algorithm triggers momentum and you had all this momentum.
So they're like, oh my God, people must love this.
Because it's all math, right?
They're not people at this point, right?
It's all math.
And they're like, oh, people must love this stuff.
So let's really push his content because people love his content.
So they push it out, et cetera.
Then they push it out.
And the great thing about pushing it out is you get new people.
The problem with pushing it out is that some of those new people aren't familiar with the flagrancy.
Yeah.
Right?
So those new people complain.
Those new people flag.
Those new people say this is awesome.
This is awful.
Right.
The AI that is Instagram starts going, oh shit.
Well, we shouldn't push this all the way out here to everybody because people are offended.
And we want anybody comes on our platform to have a lovely, happy experience.
And we don't want anybody triggered.
And we don't want anything.
Nonsense, but like they're literally letting the vast minority dictate the joy that the majority has.
Yeah, for me, I watched that under the rug, but it doesn't matter.
So, um, you're probably either you know, shadow banned for a little bit and then that will go away, or they're just limiting your reach.
Like, none of my shit will ever hit the explore page, and if it does, it's very rarely right.
You were probably hitting explore immediately, and now they're like, yo, back the fuck up, right?
So, you just got to grassroots it, and it will happen.
You'll have another video go out there and plug away.
I'm going to keep putting up content, assholes, keep telling you.
Keep sharing it, keep guys, keep sharing it.
If you like it, tell people.
It's very helpful.
That's it.
But, um, and that's the next goal, really, for us, to be honest with you, is to become too big to shadow.
Right.
Right?
Like, you know, Rogan is too big to shadow.
You can't shadow him because if you do, the whole world goes, ooh, see, you're caught.
Right.
They can shadow ban with impunity with us because people don't care enough.
Yeah.
Right?
So it's like, but eventually, if I can get to that level where I'm big enough, where if you do anything that is against policy to me, it makes you look bad as a company, then we get freedom again.
So this is the most trying time in our internet relationship.
We are fighting to break through this time.
And when we break through this time, then we are entering the power brokers.
We're one of the power brokers.
And we dictate what is real news and we dictate what is real comedy.
And we are one of the people that are involved in this discussion.
And that's going to be the fight of our careers and the fight of our lives, realistically speaking.
Shit, I want to get shadow banned.
Is getting to the next level.
No, you don't.
We need that.
We need you not.
We need you not.
You know what I mean?
Because we need some people that are available to dictate.
Like, let's say I'm completely banned.
We need people to be able to see you and go, yo, what's up with Schultz?
And then you go, this is what's happening.
It does sound kind of cool because I was like, yo, am I not pushing the right buttons if I don't get shadow banned?
But once you do, you're like, nobody's seeing this shit.
Nobody's seeing this shit.
Heartbreaking.
Put all this work into a bit.
You know what I mean?
I put maybe my favorite bit up this week and it get hit.
I got a mad comments.
It's so funny, but it didn't pop at all.
And I was like, that's the easiest way to tell if you're being suppressed.
Like, if you look at comments.
Like, whenever I look at people's videos, I look at comments.
Yeah.
Because the views can be fake.
Right?
Like, there are people out there.
They're not fake views, but they're like, they're like, you know, there are some people out there that probably have like 5 million views on some video and they got 50 comments.
And it's like, oh, you were just put into a feed that a lot of people just scroll through and they're not like taking.
It didn't hit them.
It didn't touch anything.
Exactly.
But if you're getting tons of comments along with your views, it's like, oh, no, motherfuckers are watching your shit.
You know, so it's, don't worry.
Things are good.
Yeah, we're going to figure this shit out.
Good things, good things coming.
We got a bunch of shows coming up.
Yo, New York City Town Hall sold out, man.
That's just crazy, man.
We're like three months out.
New York City Town Hall sold out.
I got some ideas about what we're going to do with that.
But, Gil, thank you, everybody, who got tickets ahead of time.
It's unbelievable to sell out the town fucking hall in New York City, man.
So thank y'all so much for that.
We're adding more shows to Australia.
So make sure you go get those shits.
If you couldn't get tickets, go get them.
Are we going to have any time to chill?
Say what?
Are we going to have any time to chill out there?
I ain't paying you to chill.
Nah, but I'm just saying.
What is this guy crazy?
Nah, but we want to enjoy the country too, right?
No.
We only want to shoot a bunch of dropping ins.
No, we're going to shoot maybe two or something.
We're out there for like two weeks.
But it's not vacation.
It's grind time, baby.
You know, we got to make the money to fly you motherfuckers out there and fly you around Australia.
That's just a lot.
Are we doing New Zealand?
They're still.
Do you buy Australia tickets?
Yeah, we did.
What airline?
I don't know.
That's even more than Japan.
Dumb shit.
Not Southwest.
So, but yeah, so we added some.
So go, go get them shits.
Go get them early, man.
We're on our way.
We're about to be out there.
I'm very excited for that.
So d'AndrewSchultz.com, get all them tickets.
And then many more dates that are in the states as well.
So d'AndrewSchultz.com, get all those tickets to that.
You know, the Boston show, that's almost sold out.
Get on that.
Seattle show, that's almost sold out.
Get on that.
We got Atlanta, Sacramento, Chico, California, Philadelphia, Hawaii.
We added more dates, so go get them shits right now.
Akash, what you got?
Big Disney Energy Tour kicks off this weekend.
Come through.
We started in Houston at the Secret Group, September 6th at 8 p.m.
Then the next day, we are in Austin at the Fallout Theater at 7 p.m.
Back there again, September 8th at 8.30 p.m.
September 13th, San Fran, Piano Fight, two shows, 8 and 10.30.
September 19th, LA.
We're going to the belly room at 8 p.m.
The 20th, we're in Portland at Curious Comedy, 7.30 p.m.
And October 11th, Minneapolis, two shows, 8 and 10.30.
Shooters in any city, holler at me.
We had some lined up in Houston.
I think some came up for the guy.
He might not be able to make it.
So if you're in Houston, especially this week, Houston and Austin, holler at me.