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July 5, 2019 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
05:57
Young Men Catch A...
# trip matters toronto raptors sports rumors aging and sexuality betty white dating dynamics elvis presley francis kawhi leonard negging patreon ralph lauren social justice critique social justice warriors

Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect Kawhi Leonard's rumored move to Toronto, joking about helicopter chases before shifting to an anecdote about Francis, an 80-year-old travel agent who tried to "neg" Schulz in ripped jeans. They debate sleeping with women up to age 92, comparing Betty White's curves to Elvis while imagining her at 97. Ultimately, Schulz declares his most flagrant thought as sex with an octogenarian, warning that social justice warriors would ruin such unfiltered fun on their Patreon. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Kawhi Watch Flagrant Thoughts 00:01:40
What's the most flagrant thought y'all had this week?
Well, I'm on Kawhi Watch, bro.
I'm on Kawhi Watch.
The flagrant thought?
The most flagrant thought you had all week?
You have a thing where you just don't let me finish thoughts.
You be starting your thoughts boring, though.
You gotta come up with a hammer.
I gotta give him it.
I gotta bring him in.
You like to spit off context.
I gotta bring him down.
Thank you, Alkash.
I like to work myself back.
I think it's time to write about a lot of shit this year, Andrew.
Thank you.
You've been right about a lot of shit.
I gotta give it.
I gotta give it a shot.
And I'm gonna be right about him saying he's staying in Toronto.
I don't know, dog.
How much?
I don't know.
How much you want to bet?
I don't know.
How much you want to bet?
Toronto's doing a lot right now.
How much you want to bet?
How much you want to bet?
What you want to bet?
What you want to racks?
10 racks?
First off, I know who your man's is.
Why would I willingly just give you 10 racks?
Because that's what I'd be doing.
You're just insane.
All right, so I guess he said, if you're that confident, you put up 10 racks.
That changed my mind.
I feel like he could just be saying 10 racks if you back off.
I could be on Mount Bluffington right now.
You don't know.
Possibly.
But what do you think about Toronto?
Like, you know, there was rumors that they were doing the whole thing where Kawhi didn't went leaks getting out where he was going.
Now there's like fucking helicopters chasing his jet on the way home.
I don't believe none of that.
None of that shit.
That shit is fabulous.
I think Toronto's doing the fucking most.
And I think they might be shooting themselves in the foot right now.
I think they got to chill the fuck out.
Relax.
Toronto's chilling.
Everybody's chilling.
I still don't see how the thought was flagrant.
Yeah, I need a flagrant thought.
Like, I need you thinking about some shit, like, really thinking about it.
Betty White Backstory 00:04:12
Like, I was looking at this 80-year-old woman's titties today before we came here.
I was with her at this point.
Well, that's different.
And she told me that she wasn't going to fuck this dude that she was going on a date with.
She was like, he was 50.
Yeah, she was 80.
Francis.
Name is Francis.
I got her number and everything.
Matter of fact, I got her card.
I tried to get her number.
I tried to bag.
What's her card?
What does she do that she has a card?
Let me find out what this bitch do.
Trip Matters.
She books trips.
Ah, travel agent.
She, yeah, but like she just had a super rich ass still existing.
Son, like, wait, but he's dead.
He died 10 years ago.
So I was like, what's up?
Pussy.
You know what else?
Died 10 years ago?
Pussy.
Travel agency.
So real talk.
She ain't realized it yet.
She's the last dinosaur out here.
But she came up to me, trashed my outfit.
Didn't even know me.
She just walked up to me in my diner, not my diner.
She was like, she's like, what are those ripped jeans?
Why would you wear these ripped jeans?
Where do you get that?
She's trying to neg you.
Son, I think she was trying to neg me.
Women do that way more than men.
She shit on my shirt.
It's like, what's that stupid ass shirt?
She goes, my shirt's Ralph Loren.
All right, bitch.
That's what I said.
That's incredibly unimpressive.
Oh, Macy's ass, bitch.
Macy's ass.
She's got a shit, bitch.
She probably got it in the 60s when it was like $12.
Yo, bro.
I kept that shit bitch.
It can't even follow.
It's Ralph Lorraine, son.
She was trying.
I think she might have been trying to fuck, and I missed the fucking sign, dude.
What's your age?
What's your age?
The oldest woman I'd fuck.
Oldest woman is fucking.
92.
92.
That was very specific.
You got a woman in mind?
Yeah.
You know, there's a 92 woman I'd be like, oldest Betty White.
You fuck Betty White?
I think I fuck her for the story.
Betty White's got to be 90-something.
She's internet.
Give me your best bets.
Go.
96.
I'd say 93.
I'd go 88.
97.
She's 97?
She's 97?
Holy.
She a treasure, dog.
Wow.
She was a bad bitch back in the day, too.
Yo, you ever see young Betty White?
Fuck you.
Young Betty White was fucking fire, bro.
I don't think they had pictures of young Betty White.
I think you're going to see a painting on this.
Yo, look it up.
Yo, young Betty White?
Yo, check out that thing.
Sick, bro.
Sick, bro.
Oh, shit.
Young Betty White could get it.
She looked like Elvis.
Ain't that.
Everybody look like Elvis.
No, you gotta go younger, not this.
This is not that.
That's a grown-ass woman, Betty White.
We need titties.
Them heavy tits.
Hold on, hold on.
Betty White.
Oh.
Heavy tits.
That's a type.
Ooh, okay.
Look at the curves.
What?
What the fuck is that?
Sick, bro.
Yo, bro.
Shit.
Betty White was a bad bitch back in the day, dude.
My goodness.
Nah, nah, that's Betty Brosmer Widener.
Same chick.
Wait, go there.
Same chick.
There you go.
Yo, Betty White had the same.
Dumper, son.
What?
Betty White is the fucking stage.
Dumper, son.
What?
Look at this.
Wow.
Some young Betty, bro.
Y'all couldn't handle that.
Y'all couldn't handle that.
You couldn't handle that, Cass.
Cas, you couldn't handle that.
Nah, I'd take it a ton.
Nah, you couldn't handle that.
I'll take it a ton.
Bro, so even though you're... 97-year-old, I wouldn't have to do it.
No, she passed like that in Nigeria.
She's past your cutoff.
Would you still do it?
Say what?
She's past your cutoff.
Would I fuck Betty White?
She's 97, 992.
I would do it for the story.
I don't know how I'd do it.
I don't know.
Gently?
You think it still gets good from his gentle?
Still gets juicy?
Say what?
There's no way it still gets juicy.
Now you gotta hit her with a hack.
Throw some Saratoga with that.
Y'all ain't never spit shine that bitch.
You gotta squeeze some lemon on it.
Get that citrus.
Gobbles of castor oil.
Like a fucking, like an old engine.
Just rep that some bitch up.
Castor oil.
Yes.
Some WD-40.
Oh, shit.
Damn, Betty.
Damn, Betty, that's the hit list right here.
You could tell she was bad back in the day, bro, bro.
All right, that was my most flagrant thought.
Having sex with an 80-year-old woman.
Go.
Damn.
Akash.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
Join the illest community on earth.
Unless you're a social justice warrior, then you're just going to ruin the fun.
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