Lisa Ann details her 1990s career transition, negotiating specific scenes and navigating racial contract restrictions with Shawn Michaels before pivoting to fantasy sports analysis. She predicts the adult industry will consolidate into five major companies as talent shifts to self-produced models like OnlyFans, while rejecting one-on-one sex for money despite hypothetical $10 million offers. The episode also covers boxing upsets involving Andy Ruiz and Anthony Joshua, Kawhi Leonard's NBA Finals lawsuit against Nike, and Raptors versus Warriors dynamics, blending adult industry insights with sports commentary to explore shifting cultural expectations in entertainment and athletics. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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DucePalooza Special Guest Intro00:02:56
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Assholes Water Cooler Commentary for Your Sports Needs.
I am Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Real Life Caz, Alex Media, and Eden on the ones and twos.
We got a special guest that we'll introduce in a second, but this episode is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan.
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That's F-O-RTepeople.com.
What's up, guys?
More dates.
Matador Tour.
Ann Arbor, Michigan.
This Friday.
One night only.
First show sold out.
We added a second show at 10 o'clock.
Ann Arbor, that's White Detroit.
Come out.
It's 10 o'clock as a second show.
We still got some tickets left.
Then Saturday and Sunday, we're in San Francisco, Cobbs Comedy Club.
Both Saturday shows sold out.
Early show Sunday sold out.
We added a late show Sunday.
There's still some tickets left for that.
Go get them very quickly.
Then we got Indianapolis, Indiana.
Come on out.
That's the 14th and 15th of June.
Then we got Cincinnati the 21st and 22nd of June.
Then we out there in Denver, the 27th through the 29th.
And then Houston, the 30th of June.
Many more dates.
New cities just added.
Some cool information.
Go to theandrewschultz.com for all the tickets you need.
And I'm waiting for the LA shit to pull up because, damn, my fault.
Yes.
June 14th, Atlanta, Georgia, Atlanta.
Duce Palooza is coming through at the masquerade.
Get your tickets right now.
And also, Duce Palooza, Los Angeles will be on June 22nd, the week right after.
So last go in LA, masquerade in Atlanta.
Get your tickets on DucePalooza.com.
How you late within the read?
Hmm?
Let's go.
Let's start the show.
Special guest.
Special guest in the building.
Okay.
I feel like you'd give a much better intro than that.
Oh, no.
We're going to get there.
You guys know.
You guys know our guests.
Yes.
Biblically.
Biblically.
Very famous.
Probably the biggest guest on our show.
By far.
Definitely sports related.
We'll get into that in more ways than one.
But here's the thing.
I go way back with our guests.
Roasting Past LA Masquerade00:08:03
She's told me the same thing.
She told me to get away from the game.
We go way back.
We go way back.
And it has...
Let's just say who our guest is right now.
Right now we have Lisa Ann.
We have one of the most famous.
One of the most famous sports stars in the history of the game, Lisa Ann.
Also a connoisseur of sports and athletes.
Very much so.
And she also used to write for my website, The Saturday.
As well.
So we go way back as well.
Okay, so you and Kaz know each other.
Now, I got to say something.
I have never seen your work.
Fantastic.
Well, then to you.
You love a flight attendant.
No, but if I sat next to you on a flight and you talked to me, because I can tell when someone doesn't recognize me, I would say.
No, no, I know you.
I'm based out of Dallas.
I'm a flight attendant for America.
And I'm traveling right now.
Yes.
But they know.
I do.
Okay, now here's the weird thing.
I've seen you do a roast.
We met each other at the roast of Ron Jeremy in Toronto.
Yes.
And I was looking up to see if I had my roast jokes and I couldn't find my roast jokes, but I forgot what I said about you.
But anyway.
I remember they were all good.
Okay, good.
And then, too, I've seen you obviously comment on sports, but I just realized on the way here that I've never seen you fuck.
Wow.
And I feel like you're talking about.
You see me fuck plenty as well.
Yeah.
I'm like a write-a-pass, Jay.
Is this weird for that?
Is that a little bit of a test?
Obviously, I'm not your type.
Obviously, I'm not in your search bracket, right?
There's something that either I don't know.
There's a lot of porn and this is a good thing.
You know what it is?
When I do do porn, I do the, I like the backroom casting couch.
Okay.
Right?
Because I like the girl to like think she's not in it.
And you're the opposite.
You're like in control.
You like more the amateur style because it seems like you're kind of peering through a window watching something that's not professional and the girl's a little janky.
Maybe one of her toenails is ripped off.
You know what I mean?
What is the manicure?
Hey, it's too well done.
I'm like, oh, she knew.
If there's something chipped, I'm like, this bitch has no clue.
And he convinced her.
Yes.
Shout out to Rick.
That's real.
So you know that is real.
Do you know Rick, the guy from Backroom Casting Couch?
No.
You've never met Rick?
No, I'll have to look him up and try and meet him if this is something you think I should do.
Oh my God, that would be like a dream for me.
But it's specific.
I'll tell you why it's specific because in his shoot info, he doesn't want the girl to have new wardrobe.
He doesn't want the girl to be polished.
He's like, yo, if it's the last day of your manicure, and if it has to happen, do not fix it.
Because that's what gives it this.
This wasn't.
It was a winner for me.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
I was about to say it.
Like, yo, I was going to end it all.
I thought you were running outreach.
It wasn't until Craigslist stopped allowing people like him to get girls and they had to start going through agencies.
So every one of the girls on the show has an agent.
Yeah, and they're like new girls, like fresh off the boat, new girls.
You know, that's what we would call them.
They're all kind of new.
Fresh off the boat is so funny.
That's what we call Indian immigrants.
It's really funny because you know their parents didn't have a porch.
We'll get to you.
And nothing's fresh either.
Nothing's fresh.
So leave it at that as well.
Okay, So that's ruined, but there was a time early where they might have been real.
Yes.
So you can see how it's like.
There was a time.
And you can go back and find that time and live in that space.
I think that that's where I'm going to be able to do it.
You know, like the feeling I like.
I like to go to amateur night at strip clubs, which a lot of clubs don't have anymore.
But it was the worst and the best.
There'd be one girl that's like a ringer, and then it would gradually go down.
And like the last woman is a wife of a husband that wanted her to get up there that she'd never be on stage.
She's trying to wear pantyhose to dance nude because she really doesn't want to be nude.
That shit is great.
That's what you like because it's authentic.
It's real.
It's so authentic.
So how do we, oh, now we're renovating porn here.
This is like a whole innovation technique.
So how do we create authenticity with someone like you that we know is in on the gig?
You can't.
It's too much.
But Pornhub Amateur is a new site based with like Pornhub Premium where talent from anywhere in the world can upload their own content.
And this is talent that young girls and guys and couples and whoever, I mean, one couple just shot a scene with a Tesla, the self-driving Tesla.
So it's like SoundCloud for porn, and you can find a lot of amateur stuff up on there that you would love.
The Tesla thing was, now this was very smart.
Okay.
It was brilliant.
The Tesla porn was smart because there was some creativity.
The car is driving itself, so you guys can fuck while the car drives.
And Musk already commented that he thought it was great and that he knew the car could do a lot of things when it was on self-driving.
So that was great traffic for them.
He did retweet.
He did retweet.
Okay, so if I had to start with one video of you.
Okay.
What should I start with?
You should just go all the way back to the beginning when I wasn't as polished.
So I would go back to my very first movie, which was called Flesh for Fantasy.
Okay, real quick.
When I look back at my old jokes, I'm like, oh, God, I suck.
When you look at your old like dick sucking or you're like, man, what was I thinking?
Thank you.
It's come a long way.
I'll tell you a great story from that.
So have they.
From that shoot.
So back in the 90s, we got paid more for a facial cum shot.
Okay.
And so if you had a 12-picture deal, so you signed for a year, one movie a month, you got paid more for two come shots on the face, right?
This was not very common in the late 80s, early 90s, right?
So it was my very first movie.
Is that in the contract?
It's in the contract.
Yeah.
That's the wording?
Yeah, facial.
Now, did you have to work on that?
Did you have like agents and like lawyers?
Like, this has to be the two come shots must be.
I worked on it myself, but I knew I could get more money for two because I had already interviewed girls for two years that were coming in and out of my strip club.
I was in Pennsylvania, and they were features, and I would ask them all these questions.
Like, how do I get on the box cover?
How do I get my name incorporated in the title?
How do I, you know, stay here and not think about it?
Like a business.
Completely.
And so I remember we broke right before the setup.
And the director looked at me and said, okay, we're going to do a facial.
And I looked right at him and I said, ew, it's come and it's going to be on my face.
And that moment went down in history and he still tells everybody that story because now, look, it's like, now you could, it's normal.
I mean, but that was so shocking.
It's weird if it's not on your face.
And then I had to work on it because then I had to be like, okay, I have to wait for it.
What happens if I blink?
I was asking all these questions.
What happens if it goes in my eye?
What happens if I blink?
What am I supposed to do?
Do I look at the camera now?
And it was really a moment and now it's just a different story.
I've come a long way.
I've come a long way.
Okay, but did you think your skills weren't as good back in the day?
Do you think they've improved?
I've definitely practiced, yes.
And anything you practice reps.
Now, here's the thing I'm curious about, right?
Are you only, okay, when you're in there with the porn stars, that's different, dick.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, that's not, you're not getting that if you're just at the club.
No, Especially because he's juiced.
He's on PEDs.
He's either doing Viagra, he's injecting.
A foot.
That's the biggest difference, right?
So it's like, if I practice my jumper on a seven-foot rim, it's going to be a lot different than if I'm in the game.
It's 10 feet.
So it's like, whatever you were practicing with is not going to be porn star dick.
Right.
So then what happens when you're back in the game?
You can't really practice that much.
Well, I practiced off camera with a lot of porn stars.
For many years.
What is that shit that World Wide West does, that game he has?
In LA, he got a basketball game.
What is it called?
Not the Druley.
The Druley.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so you bring yourself together.
You call Dick Druly so that you can practice your skills in the offseason so you're ready for the Punisher 2 or whatever your porn star is.
I used to.
Dick Druley, start it up, Pornhup.
When I was afraid to do that, I had porn stars come over and practice with me because just your fear is right.
I couldn't have civilians do it because I was like, it's not going to be the same thing.
And I need a guy that's going to last the 25 minutes so I know how to endure this situation.
And so I forced guys to come over and practice with me, which guys in the business are very helpful that way.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Now, you've broke down like a lot of barriers as far as how I got introduced to her.
Exactly.
You were the first white girl I was seeing consistently fucking black.
Stay with me.
I was like, oh, shit.
So like, to me, as a horny dude, I'm like, yeah, great.
Raj Jeremy Cam Practice Secrets00:15:34
This is awesome.
But I didn't really know like the ramifications of it as far as like black guys getting paid more because or you getting paid less because you would mess with black dudes, right?
So when I started my contract, I wasn't allowed to work with and I didn't know this.
So when I asked to work with Shawn Michaels at that time, they're like, no, we don't let contract girls work with brothers.
And I was like, what?
Like, this was in my contract and I didn't realize it.
So what I did was when I got out of my contract, I went to every company and I said, I want to shoot interracial.
And they all said to me, it'll ruin your career.
We won't shoot you in it.
So I had to do an amateur.
It's called Pussyman Auditions.
I had to act like that girl you love with the chip nails, the weird hair, and the unpolished look, and act like I'd never been with a brother before and it was Shawn Michaels.
So that started it.
And then I forced.
What did it look like?
It's a nice, it's a nice size.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good size.
It was smart water.
You remember Sean Michaels?
He's legendary.
I'm thinking of another Sean.
I'm thinking of a heartbreak kid.
Not the wrestler.
Not the hymen break kid.
Well done.
It's what we do over here.
Okay, so.
So that was a big one.
So, okay.
Black people everywhere.
We thank you for that.
That was a big step for us.
Thank you.
Okay.
The men thank you.
The women do not thank you.
And then the you know where the women are the meanest to me at JFK Airport?
The Queens women know that their men like me and they do not treat me.
TSA?
Yes.
Female TSA.
Yes, they're so sad.
They scare me.
I do everything they tell me to do because I'm so afraid of them.
Also, because you won't get on the flight.
Well, they've already done this for me multiple times.
They've not allowed you on the floor.
Well, they just detain you longer.
She's a nice person.
You're a little bit more terrorist.
Bro, she's the nicest.
You're out here terrorizing.
Oh, that's going to go around so fast.
Oh, my God.
She's the nicest.
The nicest?
So you are out there taking black dick from these sisters, man.
That's fucked up.
But I mean, I'm not keeping it.
We can have it back.
Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.
Can we talk about this little thing that I'd like to put in my pocket?
Oh, shit.
Can we say, before the show started?
Hold on, hold on.
We're not going to leave this.
No, we're not.
We're not.
So Lisa was flirting with him so hard.
Now he's pretty.
And he's a pretty beautiful man.
He's a beautiful man.
He's so hard.
No joke.
No joke.
Hung.
Thor's hammer.
So it's a third leg.
I've seen it.
Like a kickstand.
I mean, listen, call him the Billy Doe.
It's not, but stop lying.
You're being a little bit more.
You know what?
With handwriting that small, I think it's big.
You see how small he writes?
Look at his wrong handwriting.
Look at this.
You need a microscope to read his handwriting.
That ain't the only thing you need a microscope.
Be honest.
Stop it.
Akash, stop it.
Akash was a big one.
We know you're a hunger.
He'd be great in a NOF movie.
Like, he shows up.
He's the IT guy for Best Buy.
You know what I mean?
And he shows up to tell you that you haven't been looking at enough porn.
And then next thing you know, he shows you what you don't have to do.
You don't have enough viruses on this thing.
That's a problem.
Let's pray a few viruses over here.
Lost six.
Jesus.
You need a floppy disc?
Did I age myself?
Did I age this hard drive?
He's a little too open.
You need a new hard drive.
Okay, so Big Dick Akash, that's what we usually call him on the show, right?
So, but he's super bashful about his big dick.
It's like the weirdest thing because he understands it doesn't fit his body, right?
It's like cartoonishly.
He doesn't look big.
You know what I mean?
He doesn't look like he has a big dick.
Here's the weird thing about it: it's fat.
This is common in the business.
If you've seen a lot of performers like James Dean, when he was 18 and got in the business, he was just a dick on a stick, just like you are.
I'm Ron Jericho.
That's what we call it.
I'm Indian Ron Jeremy.
Raj Jeremy.
Raj Jeremy Raj Jeremy.
That's the name of the episode.
Raj Jeremy.
And there it is.
Wow.
Okay, so did you know?
Okay, when you walk in the room, are you so, you know how like women have gay dar and like men have gay?
They could tell someone's gay.
You got dick dar?
In some sense, yes.
So you could tell that he had a huge dick charge.
And sometimes I can tell that someone's going to disappoint me as well.
And I do not want to.
Whoa.
You are going to disappoint me.
Put your hand back.
Stop being so damn bashful.
Akash has big dick energy, right?
100%.
100%.
How long have you been doing that?
Have you been telling people?
I mean, who walks around the city in that cap and that shirt being fly?
He does.
And why does he do that?
Because he can.
Wow.
That's so funny.
I'll take it.
Bro, tell me, bro.
Take it.
Take it.
Research.
I don't know why you research project later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've never seen it hard or soft.
We just know.
We've heard rumors.
We've got to photograph it, but I'll tell you.
That's the thing.
I've heard rumors.
See the big dick energy.
Yeah, you just kind of throws you off, right?
Absolutely.
I've seen it.
I've seen it.
Slinging that thing around.
Walking around, swinging that thing.
Thank God he's wearing the fucking pants.
Dude, sometimes he'll wear shorts and like fall out.
It will fall out one of the shorts in the afternoon.
Long shorts.
Those black guys used to pull back.
He's long shorts now.
That's why I'm talking about it.
No, I got a girl.
Let's see.
Nice.
That's why she's right down.
They're never single either.
The dick in the stick is never single.
It's never single.
The girlfriend, always with them.
Yep.
They don't let them go.
And they don't talk about how good they are in bed because they don't want anybody else to do it.
It's very true.
They've been together for a while, too.
She will deal with them.
What's going on?
She knows what's going on.
Do girls do that?
Do girls, if they hear that a guy's good in bed, do they try to take him?
Of course.
Really?
Yeah.
So you think girls are going to be sliding into DMs because now they know how big and fat his fucking dick is?
Quite possibly.
That's my boy.
You heard about that?
That's my boy, big dick in the dark.
No, bro.
We should make him a Tinder, fake Tinder.
We should make him a child.
And she would have to say a pop-up boy.
Yeah, we need to do a pop-up.
Oh, fuck.
Who would have done?
It took Lisa to come here for us to realize how big Akash's dick is.
Yep.
You just knew it, bro.
She locked in so fast.
That was crazy.
Now I'm freaking him out.
Yeah, you can see.
Lisa!
Lisa's a bully, bro.
Lisa's a bully, yo.
She's gonna want that dick.
I don't like this match.
She is a bully, bro.
That's why I can't watch the porn because she's in too much control.
You're in too much control.
I understand that it's not for everyone.
I would rather, like, I watch only foreign porn because I don't know the talent and they don't speak English.
So it just, you can just play music and it's just different.
Like after we became friends, I stopped watching it porn.
That's normal.
That's what a civilized person does.
That's the opposite.
I don't know what that says about me, but I got some Google stuff to do.
What was the name of the first one again?
Flesh Her Fantasy.
Alex got it up on the phone.
Okay.
It was shot on film, so it doesn't really translate to the internet very well.
Hold on, it was shot on film?
Yeah.
How old are you?
47.
You had the shit that that did.
Took four hours to shoot the same scene that would now take 35 minutes.
And the guy had to stay hard for four hours without Viagras?
No, Viagra.
So we would.
Blu-ray, sounds like Bluetooth.
We would have a private room where when they were relighting the area and everything, and nope, just the talent would go in the room together and be intimate and keep each other going.
Wow.
It was the girl's actual responsibility.
That's where I learned the most about sex.
So you would practice off-camera.
You had to keep the guy hard off camera.
Yeah.
But not make him come.
Right.
Right.
But you just want to keep him in.
It was tough.
This was a long time.
Four hours of intimacy.
Like, not even just sex.
Intimacy?
That's exhausting.
Yo, imagine how lightheaded you would get with your big-ass dick full of blood, bro.
I don't think that he could be hard for four hours.
You might pass out eventually.
He's got one looking his head and he's supposed to be a dark-skinned Indian man, but he's so blood deficient because it's just hanging at the bottom of his dick.
Dude, his dick looks like the Liberty Bell.
That's what it is.
It's just heavy down there, big old helmet.
Are we freaking you out?
You can see it, sir.
He's good.
We need to get him horny so this table lifts.
What if you just start hearing thugs with the bottom of the table?
Someone knocked at the door.
Can you get the door?
He just whips it over there like Indiana Jones.
It's like one of those toys you used to get a puppet.
He's just sitting there.
Finally leaning in.
Well done.
Big big arch.
Dick on the stick.
Oh, BDA.
That's your name, bro.
So now that we know what you would search, what would you search?
What is your idea, porn?
I don't watch porn.
I don't know.
What do you jerk?
What do you jerk off to if you have to jerk off?
You just got to get it out the system.
What do you jerk off to?
Like, if you go to the doctor, Dubreel up here.
You see the old spang thing.
Someone like using coupons.
Well, what's in your spank bag?
Saving money, bro?
Is that insane?
This motherfucker sees money saved.
I go on sickneals.net and I just fucking hammer it out.
Yo, real talk, hotel tonight.
Most you're not off at.
I got four seasons for $75.
Hey, Caroline, name your own deal.
I say formally for me.
Me and my girl get on that shit before six.
Like, hey, see what you do with my stars, boy.
Bro, some saliva and extreme coupon.
They go on TLC.
That's a night.
This episode's already off the fucking radio.
All right, no, no, no.
This is the best.
So what about you?
If you got a whack, what do you mean?
I got a whack.
I'm an ass guy.
I'm an ass guy.
I love black.
Black is great.
Just like I like to beat off the shit that I usually don't get.
So like, I date mostly black women.
So white women.
So, yeah, yeah, I mean, though, some white chicks be in there.
But, you know, like, I like, like, how you say like amateur porn?
I like my porn fucking clean, well-produced.
I like to see the fucking, I like my 4K shit.
You're a man of quality.
I'm a man of quality.
Like, if it's like well-produced shit, I'm like, oh, wow.
I can see like the fucking boat behind the fucking window, like, whatever.
Like, I just like my shit, like, highly produced.
Agree, you know what you would want to do?
But if it's low quality, like, I'll watch it through like a cell phone.
Like, if they do like the selfies, it seems sad.
That's why I like this.
That's what I meant to do.
Okay, but you know what you would like to do?
You know what I did just get into it?
I did go into the negotiation.
I'll just start getting into like OnlyFans and shit.
Oh, yeah, because that's shit.
We make it ourselves.
We make it in our smartphone.
I have OnlyFans.
Yeah, it's the greatest thing ever.
It's linked to our Twitter.
My name is Lily Sam.
Yes.
Except with porn.
Yes.
And you can do live.
You can do videos.
You're fucking fans?
No, no, no, no.
Some girls are.
But I'm just doing solos with it.
Like, tonight when I get back to the hotel, I'll put a stand-up in my bathroom and I'll just video me taking my shower.
Because why would you waste that?
Somebody wants to watch that.
And then I'll put up my OnlyFans.
Internet is crazy.
You can monetize anything.
I just saw something you would love.
Okay, go.
So I still feature dance about six months a year, two weekends a month, and I go into these clubs and I'm always in the office and they have this wall of cameras and you get to watch every single lap dance taking place at that moment.
And literally, I can watch it and narrate it for hours because I narrate the girl that's talking to the guy and you see the guy like annoyed that his wife talks and he wants this girl doing something.
Then you see the girl that's wasted.
She's flat out having sex with the guy.
I'm like, oh, just saw penis.
And the girl that's barefoot and it's climbing all.
I love it so much.
Next time I go, I'll video it and narrate it for you like I do my friends and send it to you.
No, no, you please send that to me.
If we're in the same city, or you have us come.
Let me tell you how much I can watch the security cam at a Walmart.
It doesn't even have to be pornography.
I love it.
Me too.
I lived on the second floor in my apartment.
My dad had binoculars.
This is like some like legendary passed down creepy shit.
You know what I'm saying?
This sounds a little creepy.
Oh my gosh.
That guy would just sit on the window and just like eavesdrop on people's conversations.
I love it.
I'm eavesdropping for sure.
I love it.
And not sexually.
If you add sex, it's just going to be that much better.
What was that movie?
Was it Sliver years ago?
What was the movie where there was a guy that was up in the top of the building?
He watched everybody in their apartments on camera.
That was so good.
You're talking about my challenge.
I could watch that.
But the lap dance room is insane.
Real talk.
I mean, come on.
Oh, you're right.
Blank that, man.
Give it out the address of my damn bro.
Okay, maybe I could get into that.
You would like that.
Huh?
You would like that.
All right, what else?
What else should I try out?
You know what?
I'll be honest with you.
I don't like watching too much porn because I think it affects my, it affects me sexually sometimes.
It does.
You know, I'm speaking on this topic next week in London at the Oxford Union about what porn is doing to the mind melt of young people and how it's changing their reality of what they expect should happen to them.
I'm opening my speech with this: 99.9% of what you see on the internet will never happen for you.
So just forget about it.
People get paid to do it.
Most of the talent are doing things they've never done in their real life before.
They might not ever do it off camera.
How many people are able to arrange a gangbang off camera?
Kind of hard.
You know what I mean?
Got to meet a bunch of people to be available at the same time.
No one flakes.
You know what I mean?
All these things stay out, get along.
No one's going to kill you.
It's tough.
Yo, that is so, it's hard to get like a guest here sometimes.
Exactly.
And listen to what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm fucking like.
That's a great point.
Just the logistics of a gangbang.
Basically, three people that are available on a Tuesday night in your city.
Yeah, you might have some shit to do.
You got homework.
I book one every six months, and it takes me four months to book a gangbang that I produce and I shoot.
I direct.
Do you fuck for not video ever?
I do.
I only shoot two days a month.
That's it.
So two scenes a month, but I fuck off camera at home.
Does fucking off-camera, is that completely different than you're on-camera?
Are you like a mushroom?
You're a mush, huh?
No, but you can be intimate.
Like you, on camera, you're always opening up for the camera.
She just wants to be held and shit.
Oh, missionary.
I know what angles that are good.
I know what looks good.
I know how to give the right camera angle, even the person I'm with at home.
But it's really about you have to stay open for the camera.
You're under these hot, bright lights.
Oh, fuck the camera.
I'm talking about just your intimate stuff.
You and a person off-camera, fucking at home.
Right.
How lame is it?
It's not lame at me.
To be honest.
Are you still performing?
Well, I'm not thinking of being on camera, but I still want to turn my guy on, so I still want to do the right things, provide the right angles.
He's fucking the top 0.1% of fuckers on the planet.
I tell him that sometimes.
What he wants to FaceTime.
What he wants to FaceTime with me, I think.
He's going to pay for me to cam with him.
I don't think I should FaceTime with you for free.
This is awful.
So this is your boyfriend that you have now?
Kind of a boyfriend, kind of.
But are you guys open?
Are you guys closed?
We've been open for a while, and now I think we're going to be able to get away with that.
Well, you're open two times a month.
Yeah, yeah.
He's fine with that.
So he's cool with you getting fucked two times a month by other guys.
Even the facials.
He's cool with that.
Yes, yes.
Because that you can't, like, does he ever kiss you and it's salt?
Oh my gosh, I always, I don't see him on the days that I shoot.
That's kind of a role of mine.
Okay.
But what do you think?
Girl Scene Responsibility Talk00:03:38
So there's multiple showers involved between a lot of showers.
Oh, yeah.
You shower once on Saturday.
I would make you shower once.
And it makes you go to the spot.
No, but I always put in my schedule days that I'm not available to hang.
Gotcha.
So you just say we can't hang these days.
I have to get a micro facial.
Or I'm busy.
These days are blacked out.
My last movie was called Blackout.
Really?
It's a series.
Series.
It's a gangbang in it.
Here's the reason a gangbang is tough.
You also have to find a location where you can have multiple cars or you need to coordinate Uber for everybody.
It's crazy how long it's taking you to get to have six dudes.
And then you can't have carpet.
You've got to have a location that has some sort of tile or floor that they're okay with this much semen on it, of course.
That's interesting as well.
There's a lot of details.
Here's something I don't get.
How do the guys all come at the same time?
It's not easy.
It's not easy.
I mean, that's very gold, bro.
I'm like the conductor.
But like this, though.
Like this.
I'm like the conductor.
And then you hope for the best.
And then there's editing as well.
So you can sneak some stuff to make it look like it happened more at the same time.
Do the dudes ever come on each other and they're not going to be able to do it?
They try not to.
They never fight about it.
They're all professionals.
That's inside.
The second my dick gets off.
It's a work hazard.
When I was an agent, I booked a guy and a boy girl, a boy, boy, girl scene, and he didn't like the other guy.
And so he called me on the way from setting.
I came on a film.
Wow.
I was like, wow, that was spiteful.
He goes, he didn't care.
I'm like, that's awesome.
Yo, if someone comes on you, bro.
That's it.
I'm retiring.
We got over his career.
You might hit your neighbor's place, but I don't care.
Yo, real talk.
You ever seen those like hipster kids that got the holes in their ear?
That are like this.
That's from Oscillator.
Like a spake down?
I think it's a blue jerk.
I'm a little speaker.
I don't know what it is.
Makes me feel all.
God, that is so tricky, that coming at the same time thing.
I never thought about that until you literally.
I thought that was a crazy question, and then she was immediately like, it's tough.
It is easy.
Because it's on you.
It's a legit question.
Yeah, no.
Is it on you to make them come at the same time or do you hold some responsibility?
Get to the point where they're like two minutes out.
And then they all synchronize at that two minute out.
Most guys want to set up.
You know, they want to cool off a little bit.
They have their thing they want to go through and then they're ready and then everybody gets ready at the same time.
It doesn't really go directly from the scene to that moment.
There's usually about five, ten minutes.
Some guys like to smoke a joint, smoke a cigarette.
Like they have this break time that they need between the actual sex and when they're actually going to pop.
What?
Yeah.
Whatever their method is, I support it.
I just, you know.
It's different.
Interesting.
It is interesting, right?
I didn't even know.
I was about to say, like, do they have, is there like, do they have like a cue, kind of like a quarterback when they're like, oh, I'm open.
I'm like, you know, something like that.
Do you know like certain people's like ticks when they're doing it?
I do.
And with if it's like just a boy-girl scene, just me and another guy, you know, he can cue my camera person when there's a setup where his head's off camera and he'll be able to go like, okay, I'm two minutes away without us even stopping.
So there is some handshakes and communication going on.
These guys have it down to our science because that's what they do.
I got like eight seconds back.
I got a two-minute warning, a minute, 50 seconds before we start.
Hey, get ready, bitch.
I'm about to begin it.
Does she have to get ready in the other room and work her way towards it?
Do you ever feel.
Have you gotten used to the double takes of people not knowing how they know you and then figuring out how they know you?
I've gotten very used to it.
Celebrity One-On-One Experience00:11:40
Because I imagine that's most of your life.
It's like, is that a waiter for my local restaurant?
Oh, no, that's Lisa.
And there's a different look in the eye when people realize, like, it's almost like that adrenaline kicks in because they realize they've masturbated kids.
It's different than another celebrity or an athlete or somebody like they love.
You're a big part of people's like maturity level.
Yeah, bro.
So it becomes like some people panic.
They go to shake my hand.
It's just like dripping wet.
You know what I'm like?
Or they start sweating by their face or they or they want it to get selfie, but they can't because their hand is like this.
And I'm like, I got you, boo.
You know, but yeah.
And it's, and it's really pretty much 99.9% of my outdoor life anywhere I go, grocery store, gym.
Today I was trying to have a meeting with my boss outside of the Sirius building and we just got, it was nonstop and then there was just like a crowd around waiting for the meeting to end.
That's what I'm saying.
They were just staring at us.
That's the glass door office, right?
We actually decided I wanted to sit outside.
Oh, okay.
Which was a dumb idea.
Did you think about getting famous as a porn star when you started?
Was it like...
There was no internet.
So, you know, the girls that shot then, we shot on videos on VHS.
They only made so many copies and it was done.
So we literally thought this is going to fall off the shelf one day and then nobody.
And the girls who shot back then don't get recognized.
Like I'll use Christy Canyon, for example.
She has a show on Sirius.
She's been in the business for years, but hasn't shot since the internet.
She doesn't get recognized when she's out because it's two completely different worlds.
And her product was never put on the internet.
So that film was never transferred.
So it's different generation.
And yeah, the internet has changed the game.
So I couldn't even have that thought process when I started to know how big this would get.
Now you really got big with the nail and pal and stuff, right?
So like, what was the difference between like that moment and like before, when it was just like you came, you came through like the video era and then, when this like big viral moment happened with the presidency like that moment was my friends started telling me, like if you see a black car, pull up, they're gonna put you in the trunk and take your body for organs.
Like that.
My friends were so freaked out because it's a it's politicians and there's activists and there's people that are just so far right.
And, by the way, I did just visit Wasala Alaska, which is where Sarah Palin lives.
We didn't link up when I did take a photo of me by the sign that says welcome to Wasala, which was awesome, but it was a game changer because it took me to mainstream press that I had never done.
You know, I had CNN reaching out to me, for I had people like I was doing regular interviews and it was so bizarre to me because I'm like, wait a minute, I'm playing a porno role of this woman.
Why do you?
Why are you taking me so seriously?
I mean, this is how ridiculous America is right.
You've bought into this.
You've bought into that.
I have some views.
I literally watched her do that VP debate and it was the day I got the call asking me if I would do the role.
And I watched that debate and just she had this black shiny suit on and a couple pair of lashes and I'm standing up right in front of my TV and I'm like I kind of gotta like I get it, she's easy and she's fun and she just kept speaking and giving.
She also fucked black guys.
This is true.
Glenn Rice.
Glenn Rice and I have a set of secrets signed by Glenn Rice that I collected after the Paleon really signed.
With what signature?
Wow, she did.
Yeah, but that was a game changer for me and that just changed my notoriety.
Right after that I was able.
I did the M ⁇ M video for the song We Made You, which was an epic experience.
Of course, you can imagine artists every week reach out to my people, like, will she shoot this video?
And I'm like, you know what?
After you're in an MM video, why would you ever do another music video?
I don't want the money.
I don't want, like, nothing can be better than that.
How much longer are you going to do it?
A couple more years here and there.
It's not a commitment.
My main goal really is to just build my career with Sirius because I love doing fantasy sports.
I'm really getting myself into the betting gambling aspect of this new world we're all going to be living in eventually when it's legal in New York and in California.
And I just like talking on the radio.
It's an easy gig.
Do people ever criticize your knowledge of sports?
They do, and they did a lot more when I first started.
So what I did was just studied harder.
Right.
And I just made sure that I wouldn't get myself like, I'll take cue cards before every season to the gym with me for weeks and just memorize every trade that's happened and just repeatedly read it, pronunciations, everything.
Right.
Just so that I don't get in, because I have to prove myself more than somebody else would.
And I'm willing to do that.
I'm willing to do that.
Because like you have, you have a connection to some athletes that a lot of people obviously don't know, right?
It's like you fucked athletes, right?
And now you're talking about sports.
But that doesn't necessarily mean you know about sports.
Like I've fucked models, but I don't know about clothing.
You know what I mean?
I was a very subtle flex, by the way.
No, but I'm very bad.
We've all fucked models.
I'm not putting models on a pedestal, per se.
You know what I mean?
Akash would break some if he did.
I guess what I'm saying is like my proxy, me doing that wouldn't make me feel like I know about what they do.
But I knew about sports my whole life.
I was raised in a big sports family, so it was basketball.
Edinburgh said Eden has fucked illegal immigrants.
That doesn't make him an expert.
He is an illegal immigrant.
I get an expert on immigration and fucking gaming.
And by that, I'm being jerked off.
Eden is jerked up.
I was very much wondering where that was going.
I should have guessed that.
No, so I guess what I'm saying is, I guess what I'm saying is like, so people are going to have a natural doubt when it comes to your knowledge about sports.
The first year was tough.
The first year was filled with how am I supposed to take fantasy sports advice from a girl who takes dicks in her ass.
And then I realized I'm just sorry that that guy never had a girl let him stick his dick in her ass.
Right.
That's really what that's about.
It's not about me.
It's about his dick envy.
You know what I mean?
So I learned how to flip it, but it was a bit shocking, but I was kind of prepared for it because look at the masses, right?
I look at my peers.
Not always the best examples on TMZ passed out in the strip in Vegas or getting carried out of a club.
So I look at the numbers and I'm like, okay, I come from this group, of course, but I just work harder at it.
I just study all the time.
I listen to my channel about six hours a day.
I listen to about eight hours of sports news a day.
So the interesting thing about fantasy, right?
Which I think benefits you is at the end of the day, your commentary is worth something if it's good.
And it is what's the opposite?
It actually hurts someone if it's bad.
Right.
Right.
So it's like they don't give a fuck if you know about the sports or not if your picks are making them money.
Right.
That's exactly true.
So you have to make the money.
Right.
And eventually they go, well, I don't care if she takes dicks in the ass.
But if you don't make the money, you're like, this dick in the ass taking bitch lost me $500.
And that's what it comes down to.
And if somebody's going to ask you a question and you don't do the accurate research to find out the matchup, the weather, anything potential that could change the name of that game, you're doing them a disservice.
Don't answer the question.
So I found my time.
You wrote the book.
Like, how did writing the book help you transition into the radio world and doing fantasy sports?
Writing the book really helped me organize my thoughts and see all the things that I've done and see what opportunity was really out there for me.
It also helped me understand that as many people that have come at me in my life with judgment and with their lack of understanding of my choices just being different than theirs, I've lived a pretty cool fucking life.
You know, I just had to get a new passport, not because mine expired, but because I filled it.
And when I landed at LAX, the douchebag fucking stamped a hole in it.
He's like, your passport's too full.
You got to get a new one.
I was like, well, I was aggressive.
But the cool thing is, I've cut it apart.
I'm blowing it up and putting it on a canvas in my house because that's an accomplishment that a lot of people won't have.
And that's because of the business.
So the risks I've taken have rewarded me in ways that many people won't understand.
How much is the most money you've been offered for sex?
Oh, in like to be with a stranger, like prostitution, a ton, but I've never done it.
Really?
Never.
Now that's like this is common, though.
Half a million.
So $500,000, some shit from Saudi Arabia or something like that wants it.
I would never.
And you say no.
No.
$500,000.
No.
To me, a one-on-one experience.
I'm giving a piece of my soul to somebody.
I'm sharing myself.
To me, on set, I'm getting my freak on because I'm being watched.
I know other people are going to watch.
I'm creating a product that everybody's invested in.
And I feel a part of this thing, this really unique thing that not many people could do, feel good about it, present themselves.
So I feel this like substance here.
When it comes to the one-on-one, I'm like, it just scares me.
I'm afraid to be like, I'm not going to go on a date with a stranger either.
You know, so no, I've never done it.
What about $10 million of someone?
No, I still wouldn't.
Even if you just donated all of it to Flint for water.
I wouldn't.
That's a great idea.
For sex with Flint.
For maybe for Flint, but would I actually have to have sex with a guy?
You know what I mean?
Well, $10 million for Flint, that would make a huge difference.
So maybe for that reason, I would, because I'm all about clean water.
You are all about giving back to the black community.
That's really what it is.
We say, hey, the hero we didn't know we wanted or something.
Whatever that saying is.
Okay.
10 million is different.
It is.
I would give a piece of my soul.
Would I have to pay the tax on it or would he have to pay the tax on it?
We got to work all this out.
10 million flat.
Okay.
10 million.
Wow.
It's a charitable donation.
It's tax deductible.
Yeah, but when I get the money as the earner, I got to pay income taxes.
You have to donate all that.
Bang.
Okay.
That goes out of your income.
So 10 mil.
Okay.
I'm saying this is a hypothetical.
I'm not hypothetical, but only for a lot of money.
You could do whatever you want with that.
You could build wells and outside.
You can't be a guy in Dubai or in Saudi Arabia or anything like that.
You're not into the burning.
You're not going to the chic.
No, it's not that.
It's not that.
I said about white women.
There's no one.
I was about to say, this is the first interaction I've seen you with a white woman that wasn't contentious ever.
So you're in a very purpose place.
I just noticed that Kaz doesn't have his Invisalign in.
I can't talk to him.
Oh, you want to talk to him?
Yeah.
You're going to get all your bars out.
That's my last one, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we'll talk about it.
Yeah, it was always important.
So, you know.
Hey, all right.
So we found something with a situation.
It's just a, it's just, it's a thing that I think a lot of very few small percentage of the population gets to go through.
Like, they get to put theirself in that moral dilemma.
Like, would I?
Yeah.
Like, nobody's offered me half a million dollars for my dick.
Yet.
Right.
Yet.
And would I give that to them?
I think, yeah.
All signs are yeah.
I mean, I perform stand-up at like a buffet.
Yeah.
So they're $10.
They don't have to be a bad person.
Right, right, right.
Like, who am I to turn down half a million for my dick?
But you're making it now.
You're making big money.
I heard you had an interior decorator.
Let's say.
That's a big cool.
You know, I got that going right now.
I heard that.
If you want to sing an Ames chair, it's fake.
We got to fake it at all.
I heard all about that.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll be listening.
So dope.
Okay.
Lisa.
Yes.
I want to know.
I want to know what you think is the future for Lisa Ann.
I want to know what happens.
I want to know realistically.
You're directing.
Are you going to be more producer in a biz?
You leave in a biz.
I think the business is going to dissolve itself in the next two years and everything is going to be self-produced.
I think there'll be a couple small companies like Blacked.
There'll be like four or five companies other than Browsers.
I like Blacks.
Big Lamps.
There'll be Browsers.
There'll be Reality Kings, Bangbros, right?
There'll be about five players.
That's it.
Everybody else is going to go under.
Now the talent doesn't need to show up to deal with some slimy director who's an asshole when they can just bust out their phone and take a bubble bath at home and make the same money.
And it really is the same money.
So the control's been taken back.
The problem now is no one wants to work.
You can try and book a movie.
No one wants to work.
And the guys who work every day are even noticing a difference where they don't want to do just OnlyFans.
Normalizing Porn For Mainstream00:05:41
You got somebody work over here.
So I do believe parallels to the comedy.
Yeah, I do believe that it's going to really do itself.
One question I did have: like, you know, people always say like porn directs where technology is going to head, right?
Is there anything that you've seen in porn that you're going to say, like, oh, everyone's going to be doing this in like the next like you've been trying to do 3D and all of this for so long.
And it's so weird because no one understands the VR is huge, but like no one really understands the equipment.
And you're taking people that are from our industry and you're having them operate equipment that maybe they're not that great with.
It has to be shot a certain way.
Browsers is starting a video game where we get to make a little bit off of our name.
We get to tell them what we wouldn't want to do.
And then these guys will come in and pay so much to be director and say, I want Lisa Ann this guy.
And so that's what they're working on.
That's their whole world experience.
Like the porn 2K.
Yeah.
Now, do you build a bunch of people?
Do you get like a my player?
You can build.
Can you go to career mode and like be a bad father and like do everything you had to get there?
Like miss cheerleading practice.
And she's like, oh, I'm going to suck some dickheads today.
If we're going to stay with all things that were above 18 years old, then that'll make that better.
It's a career mode.
Dynasty mode.
You're dynasty mode.
Dynasty mode.
Yeah.
Porn isn't built in your 20s, right?
It's built in your 2020s.
It's embedded in your early teens, 1 million percent.
So, how did you end up doing it?
Did you have some fucked up childhood?
I was on my own at 16.
And I started, I didn't want to, my biggest thing was I just didn't want a GED.
It was devastating to me to have a GED.
So I stayed in high school, which wasn't easy.
I had to go to school till noon.
The school had to have me working at a local dentist office until six, and then that wasn't enough to pay my bills.
So I started driving all over New Jersey and PA, Philly, you know, the tri-state area, and doing bikini contests.
And they were a pretty good hustle because you could make 500 bucks a pop.
And for me, that would like help me for like a month, you know?
And I started running the circuit.
Well, strippers do bikini contests.
And eventually a girl came up to me.
She said, hey, I'll help you get fake ID and I could take you to my club and they'll never know.
And so I got fake ID and started dancing.
But even before this, like your relationship with your parents and all this stuff, you hear these tropes about porn stars.
My parents, if they got a report card, I'm pretty sure it would be an F. Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, it is what it is.
We don't have a relationship.
Not at all.
No.
Really?
And then what happens?
Like, what happens, do you think, the psyche that allows or like pushes girls maybe to do this?
I think there's two different thought processes.
I'm sure you've thought about this a lot.
There's the broken girl that is looking for attention and this is a great way for that validation, right?
Then there's the other girl who's just like, I don't want to rely on anybody ever and I want to make as much money as possible always.
That was kind of me.
You know, where I was like, even though my parents weren't great, I didn't resent.
I don't hold things.
I'm not unforgiving.
But for me, it was just like, how can I not be my mom?
Because my mom was in a horrible divorce with my dad.
He didn't give her money.
And I just remember thinking, why would I let some dude knock me up?
This is going to be the situation.
And so I just wanted to make as much money as I could and be in control of my own destiny.
That's why you approach it like a business.
That's why you were interviewing for two years.
Yeah.
Now, was there part of you that's also like, okay, I don't give a fuck if my parents don't like it because fuck them.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So that plays a little bit into it.
It does.
And you know, you try to get them to be on board.
It's great now because a lot of people.
Hold on, hold on.
You're trying to get your parents to be on board.
What is that doing?
Well, there's a lot of girls and younger talent in the business now where their parents are supportive of their choices, which is great because you know what?
Those kids don't get wrapped up in drugs.
They don't meet a loser boyfriend for love and validation and they end up doing better in the industry.
And it's something that like, hey, this is a legit career.
Like, this is legal.
Like, we can pay taxes on this.
Like, it's okay.
And I'm seeing that.
It's really great to see younger people have to do that.
You know, there's a part of that, though.
Kind of like normalizing porn for like the mainstream.
It's like, hey, nobody questions whether it's like a legit career you can make money on legitimately.
A lot of times, you know, it's similar to stand-up or even similar to fighting, right?
It's like you don't fight if you have any other opportunity.
Right.
Okay.
If you're choosing to box or do MMA or any of these things, it's because everything else wasn't there.
Right.
Getting punched in the face and forever altering your life is a dangerous process.
Of course it is.
So I think you see, even with comedy, it's like walking in front of like strangers and begging for their validation so you can feel whole.
It's like you're not doing that.
Yeah.
It's like we're broken somewhere.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's like, this is not something that is idiosyncratic to pornography.
Right.
You see this in a lot of different fields in life.
Right.
I think maybe if there were a lot, if there were guys that could fuck to get that validation, they wouldn't be telling jokes.
Right.
But, you know, most comic dick is trash.
I don't know if you've ever been.
Now you know.
Not this guy.
So there is something going on there, right?
100%.
There's an isolation.
And this business will isolate you more than anything else you'll ever do in the world.
You know, it is the most, and I tell people when they're getting this, this is the loneliest world you're ever going to live in.
But you have to be comfortable with loneliness to even enter it, right?
Exactly.
You're on your own.
You're 16.
There's nobody else out there for you or supporting you or helping you, right?
You're making yourself survive.
And you realize at a young age, like, oh, shit.
Yeah, the world's fucked up.
Like, this whole thing, like, we're all in this together is bullshit.
It's all bullshit.
You have to feed yourself and put a roof over your head.
This is what I'm going to go do to do it.
And at 16, having a car, car insurance, rent, everything else, and still going to high school was hard, right?
You know, you're looking at, at that time, like my rent was like $350, which is hella cheap because I'm old.
But still, that was a lot to come up with.
Car insurance was ridiculous for a 16-year-old on her own.
Loneliest World Of Adult Industry00:15:22
So, yeah, for me, that was exactly it.
And as it starts to build and you realize, like, okay, I'm going to buy a house and then I'm going to have this nest egg.
And then, if I just want to one day just say, fuck it all, sell it, move to Europe, you're good for the rest of your life.
Like, you're just working and saving and working and saving and making sure you're carrying no debt and pulling nothing with you.
That's negative.
Do you think if you had a more supportive and privileged upbringing, you would have ended up in pornography or you would have done something else?
Definitely not.
What do you think you would end up doing?
I always wanted to be a sports agent.
I grew up watching Arlis, if you remember that show.
I don't know what to do.
Robert Arlis was very much.
I was like, yo, I want to do it.
That's when he was ahead of his time.
You know, when I started with the channel, Robert Wool does fantasy baseball, and he was on air before me.
And he would sign off and say my name, and I would be like, oh my gosh, I grew up on that team.
And he's saying my name right now.
I don't know if this is 100% factual, but when you think about Arlis, right?
Remember when they had the actual people in the show playing themselves?
Yeah, Michael Jordan was on there.
Michael Jordan was himself.
All the athletes were themselves, right?
So I think, and I'm not exactly sure, but I think that was the first mainstream show to let actors and athletes play themselves.
And then it became like entourage.
John Entourage was after, right?
John Johnson was 30 years after.
You are 100% right.
And also, what's the Larry David show?
All these things are really taking an Arlis model.
So that's why I assume it was just like, yeah, we're just going to do this from Arlis.
That's athletes were not PR trained back there.
So it was great because they were awkward.
They were comfortable.
And it was great because they were uncomfortable.
But I knew Yahoo.
Authentic.
That's like LaPorna.
Like, see?
See, I'm saying Arlis was the backroom casting couch of comedy.
Yes.
Yes.
Of all shows, Entourage Everything Forward.
Yes.
1 million percent.
Oh, my God.
So now you're still in this sports world.
So there was something, there was a kernel of this sports interest that has blossomed into what you're now transitioning to, hopefully a career.
Yeah, and I love it so much.
I love working for Sirius.
I've been under contract since 2013.
My shows continue to grow during football season.
I work a lot more than I do during baseball season.
Fantasy baseball is kind of grueling.
I do one show a week during fantasy baseball season.
You acknowledge baseball.
Baseball's not a sports.
I understand.
I understand that.
But I absolutely love it.
You know what?
I've met some of the greatest people in this business.
All the other hosts from the other shows have given me access to their sites so that I can read all the current information.
They're not.
They're all, you know what?
This is a group of people.
I'm really reading that.
Very good.
Like elite level, you know, if a guy wants pussy or a guy's actually trying to do business.
Right away, good.
Right away.
Right away.
You can just tell by their tone, their body language, how they look.
You just want to do business.
Damn, she's good.
Yeah.
She's good.
Just kidding.
You didn't.
But you weren't like that to me in Toronto.
You didn't try with me in Toronto.
You were just cool with me in Toronto.
No one fucked with me there.
Yeah, no.
And I was there on my own, remember?
That's right.
Yeah.
Is it like unique when people are trying to fuck you?
It's like, oh, thank God.
Because then otherwise, I got to kind of be rude and act like I'm on my phone, even though I'm not.
And I just got to stay in my own.
You don't want to do that either.
You want to experience the people experience.
And like, I remember listening to you.
You were doing guy code at the time, and it was so exciting.
We were seeing this little back area.
Remember, there was like this dark area behind the stage.
And it was just neat to learn about everybody.
And I don't want to miss out on those moments because I'm deflecting cock.
Right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
And now look at it six years later.
I got to say, you know, quick question.
So like you being really good at fantasy football, right?
You get a certain.
He'd be asking long-ass questions.
Because they demand long-ass answers.
So being really good at fantasy football, you get a certain intel that a lot of fantasy football people don't get.
Can you like share a story of like knowing where, hey, this guy's in no way shape to play right now?
I do find out when there's locker room drama, minor colds and flus, little things that come in.
This is where you watch?
I can't know.
All right.
Well, there's this character named Varus in Game of Thrones, and he has these little kids go out in there and get like, you know, information because kids watch everything, but nobody acknowledges that they're in the middle of the day.
You see, with the binoculars as a kid, exactly, right?
So, like, do you have like the hose on tap?
Like, are you trying to figure out if someone's injured?
You're like, yo, that's true.
So, I just network with somebody on each team and just see what's really going on.
If there's a little bit of squabble, what's if someone's got a stomach virus, like something minor that you wouldn't know because they're not going to put them on the injured list or on the DL nothing, but they're not up to speed, so they're not going to start.
They might have limited minutes.
You don't want to play somebody in DFS that's going to have limited minutes.
So, how do you share that without giving away that you have inside info?
Or do you just say I got inside info?
I share it with people I really care about.
I don't say I have inside info, but if it's for my teams, it's all hands on deck.
Saturday night, I start texting people, and I'm like, Yo, what's going on with this right now?
I'm not sure.
And also, like, I get to know players and find out players party a lot or do reckless things.
I never draft them on my fantasy teams at all because I know how they live, and I know the difference between a player like Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald.
These are veteran players who have never been in trouble, have never done drugs while they're in the league and doing anything reckless.
Then, I see these other players that are doing all this stuff and getting on IV before they go back to camp, and I'm like, I'll never draft you.
I'll never draft you, but that's because, like, career-wise, that'd be great for you to give away something here and there.
Like, morsels.
So, how do you be like, yo, I would betray their trust?
That's a third thing.
I don't give it away ever, but what's great is I make your recommendations.
I do, but like, if I'm in a league competing against people that I want to beat, I'll hype up that player knowing that I'm not taking that player and say what a great summer they had in LA, you know, training every day.
Meanwhile, I know they weren't training at all.
Here's the question: You might have insider info.
Tell me: Does Steph Curry have side bitches?
I don't think so, just doesn't seem like his jam.
I hear the same.
Not at all, because I have never, and believe me, I talk to other people.
I hear the same, bro.
I hear the same, bro.
I see this motherfucker.
He's lying.
You said that.
You said Steph has side bitches.
I said Steph has side bitches.
You guys got it.
I already had side bitches.
It would make sense for him to, but from what I've heard.
Why would it make sense for him to be able to handle his source?
You're at least handing your source.
I don't know.
I'll never go with my sources.
You can never get your foreshadowing.
I never go with my sources.
But no, he definitely doesn't have side bitches.
But if I meet a player that thinks he wants to have side bitches, I don't do the side bitch thing.
So if you're married in a relationship, I'm not playing with you because I don't want to be involved in any bad karma.
Okay.
But I do tell them to hire somebody to handle their shit.
You know, and smart athletes will put somebody on the payroll for a good $250 a year and say, you get all the phones, you get all the letters that everybody has to sign when they're meeting up.
You handle everything.
Make sure they're in a different hotel across the street, not in my hotel.
You bring them over.
And there are people that do this and do it very, very well.
$250,000 a year.
Yep.
Like, who has that?
NBA players.
Really?
All day long.
You need somebody.
You got to.
Really?
If I had that kind of money, I'd spend it in a second.
It's called a layer.
You got a nice layer protecting you from that other person.
Tiger calling the bitch on his voicemail ruin his career.
I agree.
You never talk to them on your own.
You always have that other person talk to them for you.
They are always.
And the girls understand this relationship and they get it.
Yeah, because they're scared.
They sign NDAs, they sign all this stuff.
What's funny about it is.
You ever signed NDA?
I have for just for meetings that I've had with people.
What's that bitch that ruined the NDA, Trump bitch?
Oh, yeah.
Starstorming.
But the thing really is, like, the NDA is funny to me with a girl because the girl has nothing to lose.
Like, what's this player going to sue her for?
She ain't got nothing.
She's got an apartment filled with Louvatons.
Like, the girl, the girl's so dumb.
She's afraid she's going to be sued.
So she's like, I can't say anything.
I'm like, you know what I mean?
I've never seen my rep bottle just like nothing.
I mean, you're a lawsuit is only as good as the money you might get in return, right?
Absolutely.
What are you going to shame this girl for?
Being a hooker?
Well, I guess you want to scare them.
It works.
It does work.
And they also read which girls it will work for.
So this person that works between the player and the girls really does all the interviews, all the first engagements to find out how trustworthy.
They go through their phones.
They see who they're interacting.
They make sure their location services aren't on.
Like, it is intense.
Using their powers for good.
Yeah, I mean, women.
And you've been in this situation where somebody has done that to you with an athlete.
I've been in this situation where girls have been in this situation with an athlete or an athlete got into this situation with a girl and she kind of wronged them and the athlete came to me and said, hey, can you help me out of this situation?
And I always help them out.
I always help them out because I always know more dirt on the person that's trying to hurt somebody than that.
So I'll make sure I-50% of side bits.
That's what I wanted to ask.
So like some a lot of these girls, they probably like look up to you like on some OG shit, right?
So do you do you get more trust from the player or do you get more trust from the chicks?
The chicks I want to have more trust for, but I have to say more from the player because the girls know how like I'll have girls picked up out of parties and just taken somewhere else.
Like if somebody calls me and says, yo, this girl's acting strange and we're worried about her, I'll find out who her agent is and say, yo, your girl's in a situation.
I don't think she's safe.
Send a driver right now to pick her up, but she's gone.
She doesn't even know where she was, but she's gone.
No.
And so I helped them out.
Is this the future for you partially?
Like, can you end up being that person?
You're like the Professor X of like porns.
You could be the worldwide side bridges.
Yeah.
And just fucking put the thing in and it's like, oh, there's somebody over here that's a bit of a chance.
Side chicks out.
I'll have someone that was in Toronto.
I forgot her name.
What was her name?
And she basically ran all the parties for the NBA players for years.
Oh, I know you're talking about.
I'm forgetting her name right now.
That's a pretty good gig.
Well, she was on the Carter documentary.
The Carter effect.
I forgot her name.
I know you're not.
But basically, but you could essentially be that.
You could be that filter because these athletes trust you.
They know you don't.
You've never wronged an athlete.
Like that bozo with no forehead.
What's that chick's name?
That just constantly outs the athletes and say that they're trying to holler at her.
Oh, God.
I know who you're talking about.
Maya.
Mia Khalifa.
Mia Khalifa.
I shouldn't have even said her name.
What a fucking bozo she is.
I agree with you.
Yeah, yeah.
It just sucks.
Like if someone DMs you and they're harassing you and you blow them up, that's one thing, but they're just TMing you to like flirt with you.
Like just don't follow them or watch that interaction.
Or don't accept DMs from people you don't follow.
Like I never got that.
She just, that's how she propped herself up.
I agree.
It's like if you share my nudes, that's illegal, right?
That's what fucking Neymar's in trouble for today.
Yo, and we'll get to that.
Let's get to that in a little bit.
But yeah, it is an interesting thing that you could potentially go there.
And that's crazy that there are these guys that that's their specific job to act as a buffer between an athlete and there's big trust issues.
I mean, look, remember a couple years ago, who was a Knicks player and had two girls home from a party and they robbed him, watches, was it Quincy?
It was, no, it was the dude that went to Wichita State.
I forgot, Cleanthane Early.
Okay.
That was his name.
And I don't go back there.
I thought it would be nice.
But you know, when I'm on, when I'm listening to my channel all day and I hear hosts saying, you know, this guy's an idiot.
He shouldn't be doing this.
I come on and I go, listen, you're a guy that's never had two girls offer to go home with you at one time.
You don't know what that feels like.
You lose all sense of reality.
He does not think that these girls are out to hustle him.
Have some empathy.
It's a human error.
That's all it is.
We prop players up as if they're more intelligent than other people.
They're human beings.
And a lot of times they're kids.
And a lot of times they're kids.
And so I always feel bad for those situations because I'm like, man, now it's on the news.
Now people are shaming you.
And I'm always the first one to tell hosts and people I work with, like, hey, let's try and look at this from a different perspective.
And I'm sorry, but I think the girl is more guilty.
The guy's just being a guy.
And two girls want to come home with him.
That's their choice to go home.
Yeah, there's nothing a lot of times they're single men.
Nothing wrong with this dude at all.
He thought he was going to get some pussy.
They were the one that propositioned.
When did our world change when Mike Tyson went to jail for that girl?
That girl knew what she was doing.
You go to a guy's hotel room with him.
What do you think?
You're going to play fucking Scrabble.
And that changed the game.
Mike Tyson cannot play Scrabble.
That's how you should have known that wasn't going to happen.
That wasn't going to happen.
Connect four, maybe.
But Scrabble checkers.
How many S's do you have?
After that incident, we saw the athletes coming into clubs drop in half.
In half.
Wait a minute.
Talk to me on this.
So you said 90s.
The Me Too movement started with Tyson.
Really?
Well, I mean, what has become the Me Too movement?
I guess so.
But, like, look, I think if he would have been in a different court, in a different situation with a different judge, this might not have been his outcome.
No.
I mean, you were a willing participant, she wasn't drugged, she wasn't drunk.
She was a willing participant on video in an elevator.
To me, that's a call as a woman.
I've never been in that situation because I would never go to a hotel room if I wasn't planning on throwing down with the guy.
What's the point?
You know, so that changed the game.
And that really, that was when I was on the road and athletes used to come in, they would bring duffel bags of money to get your attention.
They would just throw blocks of bundled fives up on the stage, thousands of dollars to get your attention.
And after that, that all stopped because they didn't want to be seen in the clubs.
And that's when clubs started making backdoor entrances and little VIP areas where the celebrities could come in and not be in a situation like that.
It changed the game.
And I knew it was going to change the game when it happened.
I didn't want him to go to jail for that for that reason.
Plus, I didn't really think that it was well thought out that he went to jail for something like that.
This girl had a choice.
She made it, and that was a risk that she took.
I'm not saying date rape doesn't happen, and I'm anything against that.
But as a woman, you have to be responsible.
Example: I will never meet an agent in a hotel room.
And every agent that hit me when I first got to LA would like try and set up meetings, and I would say the same thing: I will only meet you during the day at an office with other people present during the week.
Yeah, right.
We're in a public place.
I need people around.
And so they would turn me down for these meetings.
And I finally landed in Digital out here in New York because he loved my response.
He loved that I wrote back only at your office during the day when other people are present when it's light out.
Did you learn that lesson the hard way?
Did you?
I just thought it was common sense.
Okay, so you knew going into it.
Yeah, just as a woman.
You also had to grow up quicker, though.
I did.
And also, I will tell you this: my dad was a pretty aggressive educator.
So he pretty much told me anything that I did in the dark by myself alone, I'd be raped.
Like every conversation from eight years old on was like, if you let your gas run out, you're going to be raped.
If you get gas at night, you're going to be raped.
If you go to the grocery store at night, you're going to be raped.
If you meet someone in a hotel, so literally, that sounds like good parents in the middle.
Oh, it fucking worked.
I still don't get gas at night.
I still don't get gas at night.
Okay, ever.
My guessing has still never gone below a quarter of a tank because I lived in Pennsylvania by the turnpike.
And he would tell me, if you let it go below a quarter of a tank, you're going to run out.
Guess what's going to happen?
You're going to get raped.
Did dad spend time in India?
Oh, God.
But you know what?
That shock education.
Yeah, it works.
It really worked.
But it's also common sense.
As a woman, we do have to, everyone says we're equal.
We're not equal.
Don't be stupid.
Don't put yourself in a situation where you might have to fight your way out of a room.
I'm just self-responsible.
Obviously, a dude's stronger than a.
So if you stay in a place you can always get out and there's other people around, you're fine.
Whatever.
To me.
You ever have a guy act a little crazy?
Childhood Rape Fear Conditioning00:15:04
And that's why I'm afraid that's the other thing with the prostitutes.
I'm like, how are these girls never afraid?
This guy just isn't going to pay him.
It's going to beat him up or whatever.
Like to me, it's just so much risk.
So, nope, never.
Never even in like one of the champagne rooms, a guy was acting a little crazy.
I don't do that kind of stuff.
I usually act like George on Seinfeld and act like I'm busy, so I don't have to.
When I started dancing, there were no lap dances.
It wasn't illegal yet.
Got paid $25 an hour just to be at the club.
Was this during Prohibition?
This was in the 90s, late 80s, early 90s.
I mean, there were no lap dances in the 90s.
None for a long time.
Yeah.
This is before the dance.
None.
There was no interaction.
In the Northeast, you weren't even allowed to be outside of the bar.
You would dance.
Like, if you go in clubs in Philly, they're inside the bar.
Because the first time I went to a strip club, I was so scared to touch them because every time I watched on TV, it's like, oh, you can't touch the women, or it's like some big fucking security guards going to come pump you.
And like, now.
And then you walk by and see a hand job happening.
Exactly.
And I was like, whoa, when this happens.
How do you get laid at strip clubs?
I see it all the time.
What do you think the best way is?
It makes me so germ conscious because I know everything that's going on in there and I really just want to burn everything when I leave.
My shoes, my everything.
I'm up on the hand sanitizer wipes, not touching people.
So that's all I'm going to think about after you get caught off.
I'm going to think about two seconds later and be like, get enough of me.
Get enough of me.
Turn noble.
Turn noble.
Oh, my God.
You see so much.
But it was different.
So we stayed on the inside of the bar and weren't allowed to have any contact.
And the guys just had to hand us our money.
That's stupid.
Okay.
But how do you get laid in the strip club?
What advice do you have for guys who want to get laid in the strip club?
Well, I don't think I should be giving this advice, but if I do that.
This information is worth thousands of dollars.
Okay, so first and foremost.
This information is worth thousands of seven years.
You need to be selective on your girl.
So you need to pick a girl that would be like one of the girls in the scenes that you like.
You know, a little bit unsure, a little amateur, a little janky.
Maybe she's a little had a couple drinks.
Okay.
Guys normally wear sweatpants or they take their belt off.
Like you'll see a guy getting ready for a lap dance.
He's got to take his belt off because he's like committed to the fact that hopefully something happens.
That's a trick because if the guy takes his belt off and the girl doesn't complain, that's usually when the guy knows, okay, maybe I can go one step further and unbutton my pants.
I watch this stuff happen in the videos, so I love it.
You're going to be there.
And I married.
So then, you know, you just kind of take it from there.
I advise you bring a condom because a lot of times girls don't have them.
Something I've noticed in those videos.
But it's not legal.
And if you get busted, most of the time the guy is not going to get as much trouble as he thinks because the club is more worried about losing their liquor license.
So they're more worried about firing the girl because she's actually their responsibility and just getting the guy out of there.
So you have nothing to lose.
Just as a guy, you have nothing to lose.
Just rip it out.
Who's going to have a game?
And lick her face when she leans in as well.
Stop it.
Do not stop it.
Do not lick her face.
Stop it.
Do not lick her face.
So you, but you have to make the move.
She's not going to make the move.
You have to be.
I'm sure there's girls in shadier clubs that just walk around and talk about it, right?
Like, you know, you go to certain clubs.
Girls.
I've been to certain clubs where like literally.
You know why?
Because you look civilized.
They know that I get like that.
They're going for the broken dude in sweatpants.
That lives in his mom's basement and they're like, this guy has expendable income.
I know he does.
It's a job.
You know what I mean?
If you're someone who doesn't drink alcohol, the bartender is not going to pay you a lot of attention.
Right.
Right.
So it's like you need someone who's a lush someone who's drunk, right?
I completely understand it.
But it is a little annoying.
You're out with the boys.
You're like, do I have to hit on you?
What's the whole point of being here?
It's a tricky one.
You'll hit on girls outside of this.
I would suggest sitting in an area where you can watch the dudes walking out from the lap dance area and see what dudes look the most satisfied and then see what girls they're with and then try and get that girl.
Oh, you got this.
This is hell.
This is real.
So the guy is headless every time.
There you go.
But that's a great.
So if you see the guys walking out, they're like, yes.
And if you see the guys walking out real tense, don't go near those girls.
The relaxed dudes, you see what that girl is.
Yeah.
And then you take the belt off.
So that's the move.
Let's take the belt off.
You're taking the belt off.
And she's like, it's going down.
Yep.
Now, if a guy takes a belt off walking by me, I'm like, you better watch out because I'll strangle you with that thing.
You'll be left there lifeless.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, I don't play.
It's not a petting zoo.
It's a no-contact sport when I'm dancing.
I don't let anyone touch me.
Really?
Okay.
That's part of the allure.
It's supposed to be something you can't have.
Here's a question.
Who's the most like stepping cake in front of my face and not eating it?
Like, I'm not paying for this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some people do go for the entertainment, though.
You sniff it and then you get out, and that's $100 or no.
So here's a question: Who's the most pathetic dude that you've slept with?
Like, did you ever fuck a guy because you're like, oh my God, this guy?
I don't think I've had sex with anyone that's pathetic.
Never once.
Did you do it as a favor?
You never favor-fucked anybody.
That was a one-pitty pussy.
No, no, no.
One time you give it to him.
Can I just give him a photo?
Or make a little video for his thread?
They can download the photo now.
Never once.
No.
You never want to feel that sort of like world-changing power that you could transform this nerd's life.
No.
Give him a story that would change.
We might hang out and I'd let his friends believe that we hooked up, but we're not hooking up.
You know what I mean?
He can tell us.
Do you really want to change Flint?
So never once wanted to do that.
Never once.
Never.
Never felt too bad for a guy.
You guys get to pee wherever you want.
You stand up.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not saying that.
So many benefits.
You get to beat up people.
If I was a dude, I'd have been in jail 10 times already because released.
For sure.
You know how Bill Murray goes around and eats a French fry out of somebody's little side of fries.
He does that in real life.
You ever seen it?
You didn't see a documentary on Netflix?
Like Bill Murray shit?
It's like this documentary where he just goes around and all these people have like these weird folk tales about Bill Murray just showing up at people's parties.
Bill Murray will show up to a wedding, right?
And he'll just be in the wedding party.
He'll enjoy the whole wedding, take shots with her, drink with everybody.
And it's like, hey, Bill Murray's here.
It's like, have you never felt that way about Dick?
No, sorry.
It's personal to me.
Nobody will believe you.
Imagine you just blew some random guy.
I would not do it.
Nobody would believe you.
No.
Never.
Why would I do that?
I got street cred to protect too, yo.
For the story.
You know what that's?
That is mythical.
That's a mythical project.
What you mean?
It's mythical.
No one will believe that.
That's a legend of Lisa Andrews.
She's just old.
We've also been.
It's like, but your pet did stand up and wouldn't allow phones and did five hours and then just left.
That was one of those oh, you had to be there type of things.
Real five.
How about this?
Serious 51.
If your girl ever creeps up with you, then we'll make this happen.
Hey!
That's on the record, motherfucker.
I'm not gonna lie, Lisa.
I don't know if you can handle it.
I don't know if you can handle it, man.
Real time.
I don't know if you can handle it.
This kid's not playing around.
Hey, Lise.
Lise, this guy's not playing around.
He's turned into a cherry, dog.
Are you sure that's real?
He's gonna be with you guys editing this.
Take us out.
We're not editing.
This is the show.
This is awkwardness.
The girl will not come out and try and kill me, right?
She can't promise that.
She's really girls with a show for me.
She's the only girl, too.
Really?
She almost killed Andrews.
I told you he's got a beautiful dick.
What am I supposed to do?
Oh, good.
This is funny.
But obviously, yes.
I had a question.
One of my favorite categories is deep throat.
It's inside the actor studio.
So, one of my favorite.
You know how she said she just creeped down and she gets on her phone?
Look where she at right now.
Look where she at right now.
I have a question, Lisa.
Heather Brooke.
I don't know her.
Really?
Oh, man.
She's like legendary with her deep throat ability.
Do you like it when they gag and like stuff comes up?
No, no, no.
She doesn't.
She doesn't gag.
All that saliva really freaks me out on set.
Like when girls, you know the saliva thing that's like really popular right now, a lot of girls like, oh, that gives me the willies.
Not with her, it's like the long loot.
Yes.
It's so funny.
I'm not into it.
It's so germy.
I'm not into it.
Wait, hold on.
Let's back up here.
You're not into a saliva-induced blowdrum.
Well, it's just a lot of, like, girls now do it.
Like, I directed a girl a couple of years ago, and no one told me ahead of time that she did this.
It was like, my people were playing a joke on me because they knew I'd throw up.
And so I'm directing this scene, like, I had her makeup done, her hair done really nice.
Like, two minutes into the scene, she's got like a Lugie of her own on her face.
Her lashes are coming down.
I'm like, I can't watch this.
Oh, wait, talk about what it is.
It gives me the willies.
I was about to say, like, what else creeps you out?
Because, like, I feel like you've seen.
I don't want to jump off of this, though.
Let's, let's feel more about this.
We'll come back to that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But we're going to go back to all the things.
So this girl had so much saliva.
It was all over her face.
Now, is it kind of like in baseball when they keep a little of the shoe polish on the elbow so they can hold the ball differently?
No, it's because she made a Lugi and it landed somewhere.
It didn't mean to.
Like, she'll go to do one and then it'll land on the guy's leg and it'll just sit there and you'll watch it for a couple of minutes while he's moving and it's just like going down his leg.
And I'm like, no, I can't do that.
But there are girls that give dry blowjobs and that is awful.
Of course.
Why would you do it?
So how do we balance?
How do you balance?
I say you balance with a, there's a very, it's like a sexy way to do it.
You know, you could still have, but you just don't need like a, but how do you tell a girl to give a more wet blowjob?
Well, you don't hire a girl that gives a dry blowjob.
I'm not hiring her.
I'm saying like in life, like, how do I give a dry blowjob?
Does she have any saliva in her mouth?
I've been bringing this up for months.
Does she have cotton mouth?
If you have a bad experience, you want to share with us, I'm the perfect person to talk to about that.
Talk about it.
Go for it.
We're here now.
I'm saying.
I thought it was going to another subject.
We're here now.
Let's make it a little wet.
You know what I mean?
Let's make it a little let's spit.
And then, you know, she'll kind of spit on it, but it will be like, patient.
Like, it won't be like a real lemon water.
You need lemon water.
You need citrus and you need to keep it on hand by you all.
You know what I mean?
You need to do that.
So lemon and like you're talking about like that vitamin C. We'll just squeeze a regular lemon in water.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I put the lemon in the water and then she drinks that.
Yeah, you just sit it near her so that when she needs more, you can just hand it to her.
Oh, so it's a water.
She's be drinking.
Water saliva isn't good.
It's the one that's back there, the back of the.
I think you don't have her blow you anymore.
Real talk.
What did she just say?
Repeat that?
What did you just say?
Lemon water.
You're stupid, bro.
This guy's stupid.
He's so dumb.
You're so pumped.
Please, Alex, please.
We're here now.
We go.
We're here now.
We're here now.
I told him no.
Y'all can't get it.
No.
Y'all push it.
I'm out of it.
I'm out of this.
I'm an innocent bystander.
I'm not going to know.
I'm going Andy Rooney.
It was just a junk.
You asked me what else freaks me out.
I'm not real.
I'm not real.
That's the name of the episode, Lemon Water.
With the double penetration stuff where it's like two dicks in the ass, two dicks.
Because the cocks are like rubbing with each other.
That shit is so weird.
It makes me unsure and it makes me ask a lot of questions that I can't get in the moment.
So like, you know, when something distracts you, you're like, well, why?
Like, how does it feel about that?
When you start doing that, you're like, pouring soda.
That type of sword crossing is just like a bunch of people.
They're in the same button.
It's a more damage.
It's the same vagina.
It's way more additional shit.
And they're so close to each other to do it because I've watched it live.
Of course, I was curious.
I showed up when somebody was shooting.
I'm like, I got to see how this goes down.
How do the guys angle all four legs and everything right in there?
And how's it work?
And somehow it works, but it is a lot of close contact.
That shit is gross.
So that's something that's not for me.
That's something where I'm like, no, pass.
Yeah, that shit is so gross.
That's a good line.
Pass?
That's a good line.
Yeah.
Two dicks.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
That's a good line.
That's a good line not to cross.
Yeah.
That's a good line.
The line I don't cross is pregnancy.
I don't do the pregnancy part.
Yeah, me neither.
It's fun.
You were just saying, like, I'm making it.
You don't ever want kids.
No, no, no.
I'd like kids.
But the pregnancy porn where like the women are.
That's a lot as well.
That's fucked up.
And the size of porn dicks.
It's like, yeah.
Underspin this too.
We use a fisheye lens, which makes everything look bigger.
So it's making the girl's ass look bigger, her boobs look bigger, and his dick look bigger.
So you are being the illusion is.
Yes.
Just like that.
So those dicks nearly are a lot smaller on TV.
Right, and also everyone thinks my boobs are a lot bigger.
My ass is a lot bigger.
Everybody thinks like I'm so much bigger.
Although there was a time I was bigger.
Even then, people would be like, oh my God, you're so much smaller in real life.
Like, it's fisheye lens.
Because when you look at the photos, you hate them because your boobs look bigger than your head.
And you're like, ew, but guys.
The fisheye camera accessory.
Guys love it.
Yeah.
They love what?
The big boob, the big ass.
So that's why they use that camera.
It does make the guy look bigger.
And the guy's lit a certain way.
Most of the guys are super lean, like you makes a nice small backdrop to make you look even bigger.
Yeah.
You know?
It's all an optical illusion.
It's all an optical illusion.
Young dickhole.
Are there any porn stars that you watch now that are like, oh, she could be like the next me.
She's got the, she's got fish.
She got the juice.
I can't know.
Because I only watch foreign porn when I do watch porn.
And so I don't really know any of that.
I'm not a fan of nobody.
No, because it's one of those things where I'll know who shot it.
I'll be critiquing it.
I'll see a cable and it'll drive me nuts.
And I'll be like, oh my gosh, that editor sucks.
Can you meet a girl?
The makeup artist.
Can you meet a girl and know you got what it takes?
I can by having a conversation with her.
And I need to know, like, what's her story?
What's her family life?
Does she think she's going to get away with this?
Nobody's going to find out.
You know, I like to find that honesty in it because a lot of people just want to do it for the money.
And it's like getting a tattoo on your face.
It's not going anywhere.
What?
So being a porn star.
So it's kind of like you can only be a star if you're willing to embrace it.
And you're willing to go out there and walk down the street and know that half the dudes are going to walk up and be like, I just jerked off to you yesterday.
That's normal.
That's every day.
People walk by me on a flight and say that while other people are sitting there.
Who are these dudes that think that's like just a normal thing to say to somebody?
Young white dudes.
Yeah.
You know?
I was about to say, like, it seems like a very frat boy thing to say.
It's a very frat boy thing to say.
I don't know if I would share that information.
Yeah, it seems like a lot.
If Teoda Trump walked in right now, I'd definitely be like, yes, I jerked off to you like a week.
That's the one from the saliva?
Yes.
That was black.
Yeah, that was too much for me.
Do you play any fantasy sports?
I don't.
Do you?
I'd play.
Gosh.
Can you get Fantasy Football League anybody?
If we have a fantasy star this year, then I will lie and say that I play fantasy sports.
And then I'll help you.
No, if they're willing to pay, I'll play.
If we got a sponsor, I'll play.
See?
You sound like a prostitute.
Oh, yeah.
I think he's ready to sell out.
Blue Chew Sponsorship Break00:03:01
Commerce is great.
Did you get through your notes?
I don't want to cut you short before you let me know.
No, We're going to continue after you go.
But thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
You can follow me at the Real East Ann.
Don't need any more dick pics.
I've seen enough of those.
Thank you.
That was one of our oldest jokes that I remember.
Yes.
Brian Redband said this.
He was Lisa Ann.
Lisa Ann is spelled, Ann is spelled A.
No, Ann is spelled with two N's.
Something, what is it?
It's like there are two N's in her.
Oh, yeah.
Something like there's two N's in her.
He goes, I fucked it up.
Something about there's two N's in her, like, just like her porns.
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
That's not me.
Brian's joke.
I thought it was funny.
So we got a picture of it.
Let's pause this real quick.
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Boxing Fluidity And Hooks00:14:53
Now let's get back to the show.
What an amazing, what an amazing weekend of sports, guys.
We have a lot to talk about.
I think we should start talking about one of the greatest heavyweight upsets in the history of boxing.
Anthony Joshua gets knocked out by Andy Ruiz.
I watched the replay, read some commentary, and it seemed like once he took that punch to the temple, that was it.
That fucked him up.
Now, you know more than me, so I'm assuming there's more going on, but it just seemed to me like after that, he wasn't right.
Yeah, yeah, he didn't recover.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, to be fair to Andy Ruiz, he also got knocked out.
Yeah, I was about to say, he took a couple knockdowns.
So if you guys haven't seen the fight, just watch the third round.
You can watch it on YouTube.
It's one of the best rounds in boxing history.
It's really unpleasant.
So this guy, Andy Ruiz, is built like record Ralph.
He's fucking six feet tall.
They said he was barely the guy from up.
Yeah, he looks like the guy.
Yeah, Brandon Schaub said he looks like the guy from up all grown up.
The kid all grown up.
Yeah, he just, his body looks like French toast.
Like, you know how French toast has that little ridge at the top?
That's what his breasts do.
Right?
He chose Ruiz.
French chose Ruiz.
Real Tosh.
Can we make a rule?
You should be allowed to body shame a guy if you're the heavyweight champion.
We should be allowed to.
I love how everybody just totally made fun of the way this guy looks, even though he's the fucking new heavyweight champion of the world.
Yeah, and let's be honest, none of us would say it to his face.
No, exactly.
Exactly.
Andy Ruiz, third round.
Looks like grown-up Eden.
He is kind of built like Eden.
So he's probably given up six inches to Joshua.
Joshua is this Adonis.
I mean, he looks like a Greek statue, amazing physique.
And in the third round, Anthony Joshua catches Ruiz with a straight right, I believe, and then throws a combo.
They exchange.
Joshua lands a hook and it sits Ruiz down.
Yeah.
He's rattled, never been down before in his whole career.
Ruiz, that is.
Gets back up, and Joshua goes in for the finish, lands another straight right.
And after that, Ruiz exchanges with him.
I don't know how the fuck he's exchanging with him.
He was just knocked down.
He probably doesn't even have his legs back yet.
And catches Anthony Joshua with that punch that you were saying.
I think he also got him.
He saw his left hook to the temple.
Yeah, I think where it was like right over the top.
There was a couple punches that were exchanged, and Joshua just could not recover.
I saw it in a row.
I saw two punches.
The first I see doesn't knock him down, but he like you see him stagger.
And that was, I'm pretty sure I left him.
Neither punch knocked him down.
So he like, it was, he just got hurt, and then he just kind of went down.
And then another big punch.
But nothing knocked him down, right?
So he went hurt, and then like Ruiz kind of laid on him, and then he laid down, right?
He just kind of just kind of like tapped out to be.
He kind of quit.
He quit in the corner, right?
Well, then in the seventh round, he gets knocked down again.
Actually, at the end of the third round, he gets knocked down again, almost gets knocked out of the ring, gets saved by the bell.
And then the seventh round, he gets knocked down again, and then he just quits in his corner.
And he doesn't really quit because technically the referee stopped the fight, but he didn't really give any pushback with stopping the fight.
I mean, he was up.
This is a championship fight in Madison Square Garden in front of the American fan base that he's out here trying to win over so that he can completely cross over to the mainstream.
And he just fucking quits, man.
Like he just quits.
I mean, there's a moment in that seventh round where Ruiz and Joshua both exchange hooks, right?
It's the same as you trade hooks.
They both trade hooks.
They both land.
Yeah.
And the man with the bigger heart is the one who ends up winning the fight.
They both land.
Literally and figuratively.
He does not have a bigger than that.
Literally, right?
So it's like, it was just amazing to see this fucking kid, Andy Ruiz, man.
Like, I'm just such a massive fan of Mexican boxers, dude.
Like, I just love.
Mexican clothes.
Because they're fucking reckless.
They don't give a fuck.
It's not only reckless, but they don't give a shit.
They're not going to be about it years ago.
In general, I just fucking love Mexican culture.
I just love this fighting spirit that Mexicans have.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah, the Aztec, I guess.
Like, fighting's away from him.
You were talking about this years ago.
Right, right.
So it's like, there's just something about it that I just love.
And I just love the bravery of it.
I love the passion.
I love how they fight.
They fight forward, right?
It's Mexican-style fighting.
You go straight in, you're going to throw these punches.
And you know what?
You're going to take a punch to give two.
And that's exactly what Ruiz was in there doing.
And he got up off the canvas.
And even in the post-game interviews, post-fight interviews, you can hear him saying, like, I got off the canvas.
I proved I was a warrior.
Like, that's what he's saying, right?
Because he understands how valuable that is to his culture.
And as much as I'm a huge Floyd Mayweather stan because I love boxing and the sweet science that it is, the animal instinct inside of me has so much respect for a guy like Ruiz who is undergunned, undermanned.
And this is David versus Goliath.
I mean, what was it, a 1,200-point underdog or some shit like that?
You would never put money on Ruiz, right?
And the reality is, he went in there and he took on a challenge and he took it on without being pussy.
Like, I'm talking about he was exchanging blow for blow.
It was less than a month.
One of the hardest punchers in the fucking game, right?
Yes, he came in less than because he had a fight prior.
So he was in shape.
It wasn't that he wasn't in shape.
He had just fought like a little over a month ago.
But to see a guy like that.
That's so funny.
That's him in shape.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
And he's just like, I saw videos of him going viral, like doing like the fucking stepladder and just like breezing through that shit.
Here's the thing.
The guy is an amazing athlete, right?
He just doesn't look like one.
But he is an amazing athlete.
Like his ability, his hand speed, his body movement, his foot speed, if you really look at him, he looks like shit.
But as a fighter, he's phenomenal.
Yeah.
And a hard puncher, but his movement is exceptional.
If you watch him, even the way he measures distance, he knows he's fighting a bigger man.
Right?
So distance to him is everything.
Yeah, just even looking at him, I can tell like his reach is a little longer than him.
I have longer reach than him.
You have longer reach than him.
So he has to use his feet for his reach, right?
He has to step into the danger zone every time he throws a punch.
He got Gucci socks on, so shout out to him.
He's killing it, right?
So, but like, in the spirit of Mexican boxing, I can't even explain how important this is culturally that they have a heavyweight champion.
He's the first Mexican heavyweight champion in history.
But Mexicans prop up boxing.
If there's no Mexicans, boxing doesn't exist.
That was my thing, right?
For all Mexicans, boxing is no longer a sport.
Keep that in mind.
Okay.
And this is how amazing fans they are of the sport.
All you have to do is show them that you fight in the same style as them, and then they adopt you.
So Manny Pacquiao took out Mexican boxing icons.
I mean, ended their careers.
And he did it in a style that was so pleasing to the Mexican fans that the Mexican fans started saying, all right, fuck it, we love him.
They will take you.
Triple G, Gennady Golovkin, right?
Has said in his own marketing of himself, he's like, I fight Mexican style.
I just go forward.
And you know what?
The Mexican fans love, even though he's fighting Canelo, there are Mexican fans that love him.
So there's something so beautiful about their boxing culture and just Mexican culture in general to see them get a heavyweight champ.
People don't even realize what this means.
It's like, imagine your country loves soccer.
It's like Barack.
And they never.
No, no.
But Barack, think about it.
Like, black people don't care about politicians.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like all that, but it's not a cultural identity for y'all to care about because it's new that you even have that representation.
The closest thing we could compare it to is like if the Knicks won the won the NBA finals.
Imagine they had never won the finals.
But we have other sports we care about in New York.
We have the Yankees.
We're spoiled with other shit, right?
Imagine a country that loves soccer but never had.
Think about what countries happen when countries get into the World Cup for the first time.
Not even win it.
They get in and the people are crying.
You know what I mean?
So a country that is propped up boxing for all these years, right?
Now has an historic champions, but never had a heavyweight champion because they just don't make them that big.
You needed one to be like born and bred in America to get to the heavyweight level, right?
Need some GMOs.
You need some GMOs, right?
You need some Monsanto, right?
Yeah.
Now, a lot of people.
And then they get to the heavyweight championship fight and then win four of the fucking belts.
We're not talking about some fringe belt.
Joshua owns all the belts, the legit ones, outside of the one that Wildlife has, right?
So to take all those, I mean, you're talking about a transformative event in boxing history.
Like, I'm so pissed off that we don't get to see like the celebrations.
This guy's going to be the biggest boxer in Mexico.
Like, he's going to be the next fight, if they're smart, is going to take place in the Aztec Stadium in Mexico.
I believe it's Mexico City.
Like, it's going to be unreal.
You can't even imagine what's going to happen.
Like, as big a star as these 135-pounders were, having a Mexican heavyweight champion, I can't even begin to explain how big a deal this is culturally to dominate the heavyweight division.
And it's not lucky.
If they fight again, he's knocking.
No.
If they fight again, he's knocking Joshua out in less rounds.
Joshua sucks.
This is what I'm trying to tell people.
He sucks.
He beat Clitchko.
He coached the part.
He is a corporate fighter.
He is the perfect example.
No, no, no.
I'm saying before.
I'm saying he looks like he looks like Apollo Creed, speaks like Apollo Creed, doesn't fight like Apollo Creed.
Exactly.
So I'll tell you what he is.
He's Ronda Rousey.
So here's the thing: Ronda Rousey was a WWE fighter that was in MMA.
Right.
Right?
Completely curated and built up.
She's fighting against girls that were working at Home Depot, still have regular jobs.
The first time she fights a real girl, Holly Holm, who was a boxing champion and kickboxing champion, she gets washed.
Okay.
Same thing happened with Anthony Joshua.
He had one big victory against Klitschko.
Klitschko's 40 years old.
He's over the hill.
Found him right at the right time.
Fought a brave fight and then hit him.
Klitschko was also never, I don't want to take anything away from Klitschko.
But that being said, Joshua's size mitigated a lot of the advantages that Klitschko had over his opponents, right?
Okay.
Joshua fights, and that was a good style for Joshua.
Great, great.
Because now Klitschko couldn't keep him at bay with a jab because here's another guy who's just the same size.
Yeah.
Right?
So when Ruiz goes up against Joshua, Ruiz a pure boxer.
I mean, pure.
Can slug, but if you look at the way he jabs, the way he throws punches, the way he slips.
He's smart.
He reminds me of James Toney.
James Toney had a similar build.
He was this fat, pudgy guy, but he could stay right in the danger zone and be effective.
And when you, I mean, like, when you see him exposed, Joshua had nothing to do.
Joshua's out there with these muscles.
You know what muscles require?
Oxygen.
That shit gets, that shit weighs on you, fam.
Like these big workout dudes, they got no stamina.
You never seen them run a marathon?
Right.
They literally tire out.
So here he is, you know, doing his abs and doing his back muscles and making sure his quads look good.
That's not good for boxing.
You know who's really powerful?
Sugar Ray Robinson, Sugar Ray Leonard, skinny, long guys.
Mike Tyson is a freak.
Mike Tyson, one of the most freakish athletes in the world because of how big he was and his ability to go long.
It's all packed into like a small amount of mess.
That is rare.
Usually you have Muhammad Ali, elegance, beauty, skinny.
Muhammad Ali never weighed more than 212 pounds, I think, in a title fight.
Length.
You see the way he moved his feet.
You know what I mean?
Joshua's not moving his feet like Muhammad Ali.
Boxing is a lot about fluidity.
It's a lot about fluidity.
It's not about just looking like a big fucking monster.
You got to be able to.
Bernard had skinned.
If you even look at Oscar De La Hoya, skinny, skinny length.
Really, the way that if you look at the hard-hitting elite puncher, there was a guy named Kelly Pavlik, right?
The guy looked like a woman in a factory.
You probably watched a Pavloch fight at my house.
Just some white guy from Ohio.
Didn't have a single bit of muscular definition as a whole body.
Tall, skinny, long legs, long arms, white boy.
Could fucking crack.
Right.
This guy right here, underneath all that, is a true boxer.
Now, I'm a casual boxing fan, all right?
So I haven't, I can't remember the last time a heavyweight boxing has been this list since like I was a kid.
It's like Mike Tyson.
Since Tyson.
Lewis.
Holy Spirit.
Tyson was the last heavyweight fight I remember people generally caring about.
Everything I read about this week, everything I read about this week is like, oh my God, the wilder Joshua fight.
It's over.
It's done.
I'm like, no, we can still get the wilder Joshua fight.
We got a new fucking superstar.
Guys, there's still Tyson Fury out there.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
First of all, Anthony Joshua, what's going to happen to him in his career?
If they're smart, they do not let him fight Ruiz again.
Oh, no.
Okay.
First of all, we'll talk about what's happening with boxing right now.
You can tell I'm so excited.
Boxing is the like, so boxing's popularity is dependent on heavyweights, right?
Because heavyweights where the casuals are at.
It's no different than the World Cup, right?
World Cup, everybody who likes soccer a little all of a sudden starts to watch it, but nobody really gives a fuck when it's not World Cup unless you're like a diehard soccer fan, right?
So if the heavyweights are popular in boxing, that trickles down to all these other little fights, right?
When the heavyweights aren't popular, you just got the diehards like me, right?
The Philippines and LeBron boxes.
They bring in the casual fan.
Like right now with the playoffs, one of the best playoffs I can remember in recent history is down.
That's all the complex story I wrote.
Remember, everybody was like, oh my God, how can you say this is the best playoffs ever?
The ratings are down.
I'm like, yeah, because LeBron James is down.
Everybody in the fucking walk off of LeBron James is.
So that's a lot of reason.
LeBron James is the heavyweight, right?
So and imagine the Warriors weren't in it.
Imagine LeBron and the Warriors weren't in it.
No matter how good the playoffs would be, people just wouldn't watch the casuals.
So not only do you have two American heavyweight champions, right?
Because he's also American, right?
Andy Ruiz is, he was born in California.
But one of them is Mexican-American.
And fights like a Mexican.
And fights in that Mexican style.
Straightforward.
And then the other is maybe one of the most dangerous punchers.
No, absolutely one of the most dangerous punchers in the history of humanity.
Right?
You have a devastating knockout puncher as one heavyweight champ and then a Mexican as the other.
It don't get no better.
Think about the biggest Floyd Mayweather fights in history.
What were they?
Against Mexicans or Pacquiao.
And Filipinos against Mexicans in Asia?
It's the same exact shot.
And I say that joking, but I also say it dead serious because in terms of their films.
It's about like fan interest.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
And the type of fights they love and the type of fighters they love, right?
It's like you're going to have, right now, this amazing boxing renaissance.
Wilder Ortiz Fight Analysis00:14:22
If it's up to me, and I really hope Andy Reeves has good management.
I don't know who his manager and I should have looked that up before I think, but I really hope that he's a good management man.
He's got the same promoter as Wilder, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, so maybe Heyman?
Heyman, I think is what I saw.
Then we're fine.
Al Heyman's the best in the business.
I think that's what I saw.
If he is, we're fine.
Because what you need to be very sure is to do is curate this right.
There are guys that can beat him.
He lost to Joseph Parker, another slick boxer from, I think, either New Zealand or Australia.
Right?
But it was a close fight.
But like, there are guys who can beat him, and they're the smaller guys who are slick like him.
And then it becomes a battle of, you know, ability.
It's a chess match.
It's a chess match.
But tell me that it wouldn't be absolutely fascinating to watch this little fat guy go up against Wilder, go up against Fury.
Fury's even taller.
You had this tiny little guy go up against this massive dude.
It's literally David versus Goliath.
It really looks like Super Mike Tyson's punch out.
Yeah.
He's big Mac.
And that's the last time I was that in the boxing during Tyson's punch out when the whole young.
It is, I mean, but he has the perfect style for it.
So what I would do is, if I'm in any Joshua's promoter and I know anything about boxing, which is Eddie Hurden, I know that there's no chance that he beats this kid because he hit him with the hardest punch that Joshua has.
And he took it and then knocked him down twice right afterwards.
That says something.
He can take your best shot.
The thing about this Ruiz kid, if you notice, remember when you saw that punch that landed and then sat him down?
He hit him with a combo.
Joshua landed the straight right perfect.
Didn't sit him down.
You needed three.
You needed three punches to take this Mexican down.
If there's one thing I know about Anthony Joshua, he ain't never landed a three-punch combination in his life.
That was luck.
Joshua is one punch.
You get sat down.
Raw power.
You know what?
You're fighting a Mexican.
It don't work like that.
They're built different.
Like Irish dudes.
They're built different.
You need multiple punches to take them down.
And even then, they might not go down.
You have to be ready for 12 rounds if you're fighting a Mexican.
12 rounds.
And you got to outpoint them.
It's going to be the worst 12 rounds of your life.
And you got to, there's one thing Floyd understands and he respects.
When he goes in there with these Mexicans, he learned it earlier in his fucking career because he went up against this guy named, I think, Narvaez or something like that.
They gave him the hardest fight of his career.
But when you go in it, it's going to be a long night.
The other fight that I saw since I started watching a little bit was Maidana, I believe.
My donation.
Yeah, he's Argentine.
Argentine, but same thing in there.
Straight.
I'm throwing punches.
I'm going.
It's going to be a long night, and you need to be prepared for it.
Let me tell you, them muscles don't like 12 rounds.
Them big old muscles, Anthony Joshua, a guy, they don't like 12 rounds.
They like four.
They like knock you out, get out of there, and then go to your after party.
Andy Ruiz is built for an avalanche.
This guy looks like snowfall.
You know what I mean?
This guy is ready for the whole time.
He looked melting.
He looked melting.
So a lot of people had an issue with Anthony Joshua being like very smiley after the fight.
Like fucking a lot of people.
He's an elegant man.
And I mean that.
What were your thoughts on that?
I think he is an elegant man and a gracious loser.
And he is truly a gentleman.
And I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.
You watch him in a I tweeted a bunch of stuff that was super like mean and kind of disparaging because I thought he quit like a bitch.
Yeah, right?
But it's off.
He looked relieved to not be champion anymore.
That was my thing.
There's one thing to be gracious and be like, you know what?
It was his night.
Shout out.
Like when he went up there and said what he said to the microphone, right then and there, I would have been cool with.
But like the smiling, the fucking all the other shit is okay with it.
It looked like relief.
Like he was like, God damn, thank God.
I'm cool with Andreas Hale.
Save him for Wilder.
From Wilder.
Well, we're going to get to that.
Because he knows he wasn't real.
Dog, he knows his height.
Here's the thing.
I'm cool with Andreas Hale.
Shout out to Andreas Hale.
He runs Dazzle, right?
So I was with him the night before.
Biggest winners in this entire Renaissance is DeZone.
They just made this massive investment into boxing.
As you were talking, that was my number one thought.
You know, Indians Mad Commerce minded.
No one's running that.
Who?
John Skipper, who used to run ESPN.
So, oh, skip.
What a fucking win for them.
If what you're saying is going to come to fruition.
It's a win, but go on.
What you're saying is coming to fruition, casual boxing fan, they just made this massive investment in boxing.
This fight was on DeZone.
Now, all of a sudden, after you made the investment, boxing renaissance, thank God.
But wait for it.
This is the worst thing that could happen to Dazone.
Because you know who is DeZone's captain leader, their strongest horse?
Anthony Joshua.
Ah.
Yes.
They got Canelo.
Canel.
Canel as well.
But Anthony Joshua is their heavyweight.
Right?
The interest right now in the division is.
Oh, they don't have Fury or Wilder or whatever.
I didn't know they had Joshua.
So Wilder's on Showtime?
Wilder's on Showtime.
Fury is an independent contractor, I believe.
But now they've signed to fight.
So we'll get to that one as well.
But this is the worst thing that can happen to Showtime.
The best thing that happened to Dazzon is an easy Joshua win that is just as exciting as the Wilder win, right?
And then you set up that fight for them in the future.
Right?
The worst thing is when your star horse pulls up late.
I did not know he was a horse of theirs.
Okay.
Right?
And listen, he has the UK market on lock.
There are people right now listening to this in London like, that's bullshit.
It was lucky.
No, it wasn't lucky.
I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do.
Shout out to my brother-in-law.
That was the best part of this whole thing.
I FaceTimed him right when he was getting knocked out, too.
Like, it was so good.
The only thing that could cheer you up seeing a black dude get knocked out is seeing an English guy.
I'm happy about it.
You know, I could tell you casually from a distance, I guess, retrospect, but immediately I'm uneasy trusting this dude because he got an upper back tattoo.
What kind of shit is that?
Yeah, yeah.
Ain't no tough guy with an upper back tattoo.
That's just a reverse hope.
Listen, he doesn't.
There's a reverse hoe.
Okay, so the situation now is if I'm, I think the, okay.
The greatest thing about this entire situation is that Wilder never gets the chance to fight Joshua because I really believe in my heart that Wilder would have murdered Anthony Joshua.
I think, or not murdered, but I think there's a chance that he could have killed him in the ring.
Like, you know, he keeps begging for this kill.
That would have been it.
I honestly believe it might be.
If Andy Ruiz, and I'm not trying to knock Andy Ruiz, but he is not as hard a puncher as Deontay Wilder.
He is not.
That is a fact.
If Andy Ruiz knocks Joshua down three times easily in the fight, maybe it was four times, and stops him, Deontay Wilder would change Anthony Joshua's life.
Like we're talking about you're coming out of that fight different.
Like you sipping vegetables through a straw type shit.
I don't want we're gonna see what happened to Don Brazil or whatever the fuck that guy's name is, but his life is different now.
Yeah.
Shit is different when you get hit that hard.
Bro, that just sounded like a door slamming.
I can still hear that shit to this day.
Let me ask you, to this day, let me ask you a question.
Ruiz Wilder, that seems like an interesting fight based on what you said.
You know what I want to see more?
Just because of size discrepancy?
So, yeah, so this is what we got coming up.
Have Wilder Fury.
Well, Fury is going to first fight this guy named Schwartz.
Just some tomato can.
Stay busy.
I think that's this weekend.
Or next weekend, something like June, something.
It's coming up.
Nobody gives a fuck.
It was the same as the Wilder Brazil fight.
It's basically like, guys, everybody's going to watch us fight.
The eyes are on us.
You guys want to make some money?
Go make some money.
Let's just get a few mil.
It's like, hey, you got a big show in San Francisco.
Let's pick up some small gigs in Sacramento.
That's the exact city I was thinking.
But exactly, right?
And literally that's how it goes, right?
So it's like, okay, boom, let's both get this check.
Now, Wilder took this Luis Ortiz fight, which is very weird.
But he has to fight Luis Ortiz, a guy who gave him a lot of problems, a guy who he was losing to, and then he knocked him out viciously.
But he was losing to him.
A guy who is very good, a Cuban South Paul boxer, who can absolutely outpoint Wilder.
A guy like Luis Ortiz, I would never want Andy Ruiz to fight.
Yeah, that's the style that he's not good with.
Exactly.
Right.
Right?
Andy Ruiz, you want a guy who's going to come straight and swing.
In a lot of ways, Andy Ruiz, if he doesn't get caught, Wilder, Andy Ruiz would be an incredible fighter.
Yeah, that's what I was hearing from what you were saying.
100%, 100%.
I just like the optics of Tyson Fury, who's fucking successful.
It seems like, though, from what you're saying, Tyson Fury is just a longer Andy Ruiz.
He'll just outbox him with the length.
But he won't throw the haymakers and he won't get in there with the punches.
Tyson Fury, and nobody wants to say it, but like he's a lot more like this sounds too crazy to say, but like Ali in terms of his, he's not as aggressive as Ali.
Ali went out there to take you out.
But in terms of his footwork and his boxing ability and his ability to pepper the jab and then hit you with stuff, you know what I mean?
He is way more Ali than he is like a Tyson.
Yeah, if you're comparing him to Greats.
We're not saying he's at that level.
If you're comparing him to Great Golden.
Ruiz is Tyson that he knows he's smaller.
He's willing to use movement to get in there.
And then when he's in there, he swings.
And you just want to see length versus getting in.
I just like that weird length.
It could be crazy.
But that Wilder Ruiz fight.
Let's say...
Wilder gets by Ortiz.
Let's say Deontay Wilder beats Ortiz, right?
Let's hope.
Deontay Wilder fights Fury.
Even if one of the, let's say Fury wins and it's a close fight.
You're going to have another one.
Of course.
It's a rubber now.
It's a rubber match, yeah.
So it's like, so you're going to have another one.
So let's say Fury wins.
You know what I'm doing if I'm Wilder?
Go fight.
I take a Ruiz fight.
Yeah.
Right?
Which would be massive.
You do the Ruiz fight, right?
What's up?
Breaking news.
Kawhi Leonard has filed a federal lawsuit against Nike.
For?
Oh, for his, he designed the logo that appeared on his apparel, and Nike copyrighted the logo without his consent.
We'll get to that in a second.
That's something serious.
He like died or something.
It's like, oh, God, no.
So wait, where were we?
Ruiz Ortiz.
Ruiz Wilder fight.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then you have Ruiz fight Wilder while Tyson Fury waits for one more with Wilder.
We're talking about the next three years of boxing is looking good.
And then sprinkled within that is Anthony Joshua.
Trying to climb back.
I would never let him fight a slick boxer.
Do not let it happen.
You really don't think there's no way Joshua can get back to where he's at right now.
It's his first loss.
I don't think he can ever beat Andy Ruiz.
I don't think he's good enough.
I don't think he's good at boxing enough.
And Andy Ruiz does something that Joshua does not like, which is apply pressure.
Joshua wants to come at you, and he wants, Joshua wants to come at somebody, and he's actually athletic enough and quick enough where you can try to counter him, but you probably won't be able to because he'll get the punch in there.
But to be pushed backwards, he is not used to that.
A guy who's 6'6 and weighs as much as him and has legit power, nobody walks forward unless you're Mexican.
They don't know any better.
Right.
Simple as that.
I would never have him fight a slick boxer like Ruiz, who's not afraid to get hit.
Slick boxer means not afraid to get hit or good at boxing.
Or both.
Both.
Okay.
That's just what I would put.
I mean, we're talking the next three years of boxing is already settled.
A lot of this does hinge on Wilder winning his Ortiz fight from what I'm hearing.
And that could fuck up so many things if he loses that fight, which is a very losable fight.
Please don't lose that fight.
Now, Joshua strikes me as the type that enjoyed being the champion, enjoyed the glitz and the glamour of being like the dude in the UK.
Yes.
And didn't really have much interest in coming to the United States and being a crossover star.
I think he seems very comfortable in his fucking skin and being in the UK.
And I feel like, I mean, this is me not knowing that much about boxing, but I kind of feel like he took this fight lightly and he knew that he thought he could just walk through this dude.
And I feel like that's why he lost.
You really don't think there's no way that he gets himself recalibrated and is like, all right, I'm back to, I'm back on my bullshit.
What I'm hearing from Andrew is Ruiz is a fighter, right?
And a fighter who's smart figures you out as the more he spends time with you in the ring.
I don't hear that about, I don't hear him saying that about Joshua.
So it's like, even if Joshua trains, Ruiz got him figured out.
He just gets it.
The more rounds he stays in there with Joshua, the more he's just got him figured out.
And I, only reason I was thinking that is because I would always see that with Floyd.
First three or four rounds, Floyd never watched tape.
First three or four rounds are always kind of up in there.
Then round about round seven, round eight, Floyd got you figured out.
Yeah.
So that's why I would think if they had a rematch, and then the rematches, Floyd always washed whoever he was fighting because I got him now.
The conventional wisdom with boxing is if you KO someone the next time you fight, you KO them quicker.
Right?
Because now, like you were saying, you got the timing down and now you felt their power.
You know exactly where to be.
And now Anthony Joshua is not going to be aggressive because he knows what happens if he gets hit.
So if you were backing up a lot in the first fight, you're going to be on your bicycle in the second fight.
Interesting moment, by the way, in the corners there when the replay I saw there showing the corner talks.
Joshua, to what you brought up earlier, didn't know.
He was like, what punch got me?
Yeah, you never know when you get hit.
When you get hit hard, like I remember once I got knocked real hard where my vision went blurry.
Not blurry, but it started to spin a little bit.
And I thought I got hit with a hook.
I actually got hit with a right hand.
Wow.
You don't even know.
And this commonplace, like Floyd talks about this in a cool interview there.
Like, he talked about when Mosley hit him.
Yeah.
And he said the exact thing.
He's like, yeah, the room is spinning.
He goes, but you have to understand, like, I've been there a hundred of times.
So that's nothing to me.
I'm comfortable when it's spinning.
Yeah.
Like, man, if you want to get into how fucked up boxers are, there's this guy, Vasil Lomachenko.
Yeah.
Lomachenko.
When his father trains him, he drowns him in water.
He drowns him.
Waterboards him?
No.
He's in a pool, and right when he's out of oxygen, he holds him under.
Whoa.
Right?
Why?
Drago shit.
Real talk.
He does it because the panic that you feel in that moment, he wants him to get comfortable in.
I want you to get comfortable in panic.
And so when you're in a fight and you're in that fight-or-flight mode, and you start to feel your brain and animalistic instincts take over and go.
Survive, survive, survive.
Take a deep breath.
Well, not in the water, but still chill.
Deontay Wilder Champ Act00:05:57
We got this.
You've been here before.
Not some Russian shit.
So you think he's the best fighter, right?
PowerPoint.
Power for power right now.
If you're anything to Joshua's management, right?
How do you, no pun intending, get up from this situation?
You don't have to because you could have the rematch right away, and that's what Eddie Hearn was saying.
And they'll probably do the rematch in England, which is stupid because the real big fight is to do it in Mexico.
I think Heyman will work that out.
But you do it in Mexico and he knocks him out again in front of 100,000 Mexican fans.
He'll never come back from that.
Nope.
He'll never come back from that.
Sorry.
That's all right.
Dude, a god, but like, we're talking about, I mean.
We're saying Ruiz would be a god.
Oh, yeah.
Ruiz is going to be a god.
And then we're talking about like the entire country of Mexico if they're not already charged up about their heavyweight champ.
Yeah.
It's over.
And then you put this tiny little Mexican dude up against this wilder 6'7 black guy American.
I mean, it seemed like a movie one.
That's a movie.
When I'm reading in retrospect, this fight, and to Kaz's point, I would disagree.
It seemed to me like Joshua loved the spotlight.
He saw himself as a brand.
He's taking the picture with Drake, which we're going to get to later, saying the curse is broken.
Dog, I went to Manchester.
He was like the fucking LeBron out there.
He's on everything.
LeBron, if I, you know, as much as I hate LeBron going to the Lakers in this move, like LeBron put in fucking work.
LeBron, LeBron would grind.
But Joshua, I didn't hear that about.
In interviews before this, apparently he was talking about business ventures and bloggers.
Who, LeBron?
Joshua.
The idea that that's even on the junk.
But the fact that that's even an idea doesn't tell me I don't care about American fame.
It tells me I like being a star and I want to make this global and I'm a product and let's have fun.
Yeah, he's a corporate fighter.
There are certain guys that are corporate fighters.
And there's certain guys that are fighters and there's certain guys that can do both.
Connor McGregor can do both.
And while he did lose to you know a better fighter, he lost to someone who is a better fighter.
Connor's still elite.
Let's let's acknowledge he was a double champ.
That's very hard to do, especially in a in a sport as uh that has much turnover as MMA political.
It's very volatile.
And he ended Aldo when Aldo was the fucking shit.
Yeah.
No, so no, no, respect to Connor, but he could also market the fuck out of it.
And Anthony is an elegant fucking gentleman.
And I do not say that as an insult at all.
I said it as a compliment.
This guy is, if you look at him, he is class fucking act.
Yeah.
Class personified.
Gave it up to Ruiz, said it was his night.
He was the better man.
And all this other stuff.
He is fucking classy.
I don't need my fighters to be classy.
I need my fighters to be fighters.
Yeah.
And he's a great ambassador.
He's an amazing ambassador for England.
He's an amazing ambassador for Nigeria.
He's an amazing ambassador for the sport of boxing.
But whatever.
But now he's English.
You can't have him back now, bro.
But when you talk about, I like Deontay, right?
Deontay is going to say wild shit in an interview, but you know what?
I'm going to watch.
I'm going to watch because it sells the fuck out of a fight for me, bro.
And he finished.
Deontay hospitalizes mascots on TV.
What I want my boxers to be like, especially in the division that was dying before I got interested in those guys.
He's the guy who got me back in the heavyweight boxes.
Son, heavyweight boxing is popping now.
And the great thing is, all three of them are engaging personalities.
Andy Ruiz is this adorable, he's a charming guy, is a big believer in God, loves God.
He looks like Fluffy.
He looks like Gabriel Glacier.
Gabriel Glacey is.
But he's like, he's just so grateful.
He kept saying in the post-fight interviews, he goes, I'm pinching myself, man.
I hope that it's still real.
He's so endearing.
He came out in a Knicks jersey.
Look at that.
How do you not that one?
The other one.
Yeah, how do you hate that guy?
Knicks jersey.
Look at him.
Get them over with the Knicks jersey.
Come on.
How do you hate this guy?
Right?
That's so funny.
I mean, that's so dope.
So just happy.
It is the kid from Up, straight up.
Also, shout out to Deontay Wilder, man.
He had a beautiful post.
I saw that too.
I thought it was really cool.
Yo, Deontay really acting like a champ, bro.
This guy is a champ.
Dog, he had 30,000 followers before that.
And now he looks down, right?
715,000.
Yeah, I followed.
Jesus Christ.
He had 30,000 followers on Saturday.
Go to Deontay Wilder's Bronze Bomber is the Instagram.
Yeah, man, because he has something really cool to say.
Really classy statement.
There we go.
There, just click this one right here.
Okay, so he goes, you can't scroll up.
Hold on one second.
Something in the Instagram.
There you go.
Okay.
He goes, a huge congratulations to Andy Ruiz, basically, for your upset win last night.
You've been blessed to come out of the struggle and become the first Mexican heavyweight champion ever.
Wow, it's amazing.
And I'm wishing you many more blessings to come.
P.S.
It's all to you.
It's all to you in what you do with this huge opportunity.
There's many perks that come behind it.
Blessings.
Hashtag Bomb Squad, hashtag Super Be Happy For You.
Hashtag to this day.
It's like, you don't got to do that.
You could actually trash him.
You could in this moment go, yo, when you're ready for it, you won't get knocked out.
He gives it up for fighters historically.
Him and Fury, no more trash talk.
Yeah.
As he said it when he came here, it's like, once you get in the ring with somebody, like, you have nothing else to say.
He also isn't, he hasn't gotten in the ring with Reez yet.
He just sees a fighter and it seems like he'll give it up for a fighter.
But that's what someone who accepts himself as a champion does, right?
Someone who still has the chip on their shoulder is someone who's insecure and they can't compliment another person's great victory because they got that chip.
But when you're filled up and you see yourself as the champ, that's not a threat.
You're not threatened by that.
You're like, yo, you got that shit.
And you know what?
We might see each other.
But until then, fist up for you.
There we go.
Yeah.
Do your thing.
There's also something to maybe just like when you love some shit, like with the way you feel about stand-up, we give it up to a motherfucker that's doing the art justice.
And he probably feels that way about the signs of fighting, I would assume.
God bless, man.
We are in a good position for boxing, bro.
Original Grain Stand Up Love00:02:38
It is.
Almost two hours in.
We didn't talk about no finals.
Yeah, I know, I know.
That's how great this is.
You want to hit the grain and then.
What's that?
Well, shout out to this guy who brought us some Starbucks.
Oh, yeah, first of all, shout out to his name, Tal Hirshberg at Starbucks.
Hit us with a little note, dear Kaz, Andrew, Akash, and Alex.
Over the past few months, I've heard you talk about us in the only way you know how with style and flagrance.
We hear at Starbucks are big fans of the grind and hustle and figured you could use some help.
Think of coffee as the blue chew of waking up.
I am Brace NY and would love to have you as my guest.
Base where?
And NY.
Oh, New York.
That's what's up, man.
We're coming through.
Until then, let's pray for the next ping pong balls.
Keep it tight.
To be fair, he also sometimes added it in parentheses, so don't forget to.
Oh, yeah, he said something in the NY.
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Back to the show.
Perfect time every time.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
We got a long one, long episode today.
We still got finals talk.
We could have split up the Lisa Ann into two episodes.
There's something.
Golden State Finals Prediction00:15:44
There's something there.
Who knows?
We'll figure it out.
Who knows?
That being said.
Yeah.
No, I'm just saying, no, let's see.
You want to put the whole thing?
Yeah, it's put the whole thing.
It's a freebie.
Freebie, you know.
Oh, it's like a whole long episode.
I'm saying we could take that interview.
We could put a half hour out on this episode.
The next episode next week, we'd put a half half of you.
Because nothing too timely.
I didn't want to put behind the paywall.
That was my thing.
I was like, no, no, Now, you know, the sex video that she's with.
We'll put that on a Patreon.
Real talk.
I'll be the new fucking 6,000 meat, 6,000 mark.
Lisa got enough videos behind the paywall.
What's one more?
What's one more?
All right.
From one Drake curse to another.
Yes.
Man.
Let's see.
Finals.
Raptors' impressive victory.
First game.
Second game.
We think it's a rep. Yeah.
Let me say this.
Yeah.
I said last week, I forget it was Patreon or regular, that KD was not coming back for the series.
He's back.
No.
Drake shows up to game two wearing a jacket.
The back of the jacket, Kevin McAllister's face.
This is Home Alone.
What is his name?
Macaulay Culkin.
And it's his face, and then underneath it says Kevin, question mark, question mark, question mark, exclamation point.
Right.
Now, what Drake is trying to say is what I told you guys last week, which is Kevin Duran is not coming back.
That's his way of tipping the media because Drake got information that I may have got that said that there's no way KD is making it back for this series.
The problem is that's the Drake curse.
No, the problem is the Boogie man.
That's the problem.
We did not think that Boogie was going to come back and be the MVP of game two, give them 30 minutes or more.
It was 26 minutes.
Almost 30 minutes.
Almost a triple-double.
11 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists.
And when he first came out, by the way, he got three fouls within like the first quarter or the first two quarters.
Which is what Boogie does.
Which is what Boogie does.
But when you look at that play, you're like, oh, this guy's tired.
He's out of shape.
He's hurt.
There's no way he's going to be able to keep up the pace, especially in a game when they need him like this.
And the guy, you've got to give it up.
He's dominated.
Let me tell you something about Boogie's performance.
Steph stepped it up.
Clay probably had the best game overall to everybody.
I haven't seen a lot of people play with that much heart.
You could tell that motherfucker was laboring.
All the Warriors, man, they play like Champions.
They play like champs, I actively hate them, but they play like champs.
They played with fucking a heart, bro.
Like, it wasn't fucking pretty.
Gotta love my guy.
It wasn't.
And I'm not even gonna acknowledge Alex.
And two things are true.
The Warriors play like motherfucking champions, and the Raptors got scared.
They got nervous in the third.
It was Hot Potato.
Once they hit that run and they were trying to stop it, it was Hot Potato either get it to Kawhi or oh, try and make the extra other pass and do too much teammate shit.
Like, no.
I think Kawhi's injured.
This is the time.
He isn't.
He's been limping.
Jay Williams said in game one, this is the worst I've seen him limp this entire playoffs.
I think Kawhi is injured, and the reason I say that is it's not only the Olympic, it's the type of offense that he's been providing.
Yeah.
In the past playoff series, I never saw him get position in the lower block and call for it like he's a seven-footer.
No.
Right?
Because he's tired.
He's hurting.
I think he's hurting, and he knows that he's not going to beat you off of athleticism.
And the first time you're going to be able to do it for those fades.
Think about how he was scoring in the last few years.
He's not getting lift on those fades anymore.
By the way, so guys, the fade, what the fade, it's different than in football, but what a fade is you get the ball on, let's say the three-point line extended.
Kobe used to make a living on these.
And essentially, you drive towards the baseline, and then you pull up and then fade away almost out of bounds.
It is the basketball equivalent of the over-the-shoulder throw or the back shoulder.
Back shoulder.
The back shoulder of the throw.
It's an almost unblockable shot.
It's essentially a hook shot.
But you're shooting it.
Yeah, if you give it the arc, you can't block it.
You're falling back.
If you fade over, it's a foul.
You just got to put your hand up and hope for the best.
And then somebody who mastered that shot, your MJs, your Kobe's your Kawhi.
Really, Kobe.
MJ wasn't a big guy of the fade.
He would do the fade away, but he wasn't doing that drive and fade.
Kobe was the one who really mastered that shot and did it effectively to the point where, I mean, there was nothing you could do.
Yeah, Steph hits that.
So when Steph is really cooking, he'll hit that from three.
Oh, he'll go out.
Yeah.
So you have a situation where your best player is injured, and then you go to the other team, the Warriors, it's like their whole fucking team is injured.
Iggy needs so much fucking credit.
But Iggy was barely walking.
This is what people don't realize.
The Warriors had to put him back together again.
This is humpty-dumpty.
This guy was not walking around the last two days.
What they're doing with Steph, look at that.
He got rocked on the screen and he was out for like a good fucking.
He was bitching about that.
No, He got rocked.
I got rocked.
He went to the lock.
He went to co-op.
That seems like a real, like, if you're playing the finals and you're milking it to the point.
Iggy, they went, they took him back to the locker room.
So if you're playing in the finals and you're like, I want to milk this screen, he continued play.
Yeah, no, Steph went to the middle.
Clay went to the locker room.
Iggy went to the locker room.
Clay didn't come back.
Iggy went to the locker room.
So that's when I was like, oh, this is real.
Because I thought he was doing the thing basketball players always do with a crumpled up on the ground for two minutes over Iggy.
It was like two plays.
Ron does it horror.
They're laid out.
But when I saw him go to the locker room, I said, okay, you're not milking it if you're wasting time in a game when you need it.
But yeah, he's beat up.
Clay's beat up.
I don't believe Steph had the flu.
That narrative just went away as soon as he started.
I think he was poisoned.
I'm being dead serious.
I'm being serious.
I think it's the thing.
Why?
Because that's what happens when you get to this level of basketball.
I'm being dead serious.
You guys don't realize this.
Teams at this point in the game will bring their own chefs on the road with them.
And you don't think the Warriors are doing that?
Yeah, you don't think his whole diet's control?
I think what happens is you have two days where you're walking around Toronto and the team isn't going to follow you and see everything that you put in your mouth.
I think if you're Steph, you're never going to be pretty disciplined.
That's a major hot day.
From what I hear.
Disciplined to not eat?
No, from what I hear, Steph is the type of guy who'd be like, yo, every meal's prepped.
Like Kevin Love does that.
Every meal is prepped.
I'm not eating anything out.
Every meal is prepped.
I'm eating out of this.
This is my meal prepped.
No, but you see Steph out.
He has a wife.
He has a family.
What I'm saying is.
This bitch would have him eaten out in the finals.
Maybe.
But what I'm saying is, you have Draymond walking around Toronto.
You have these guys who are very disciplined in what they eat.
Draymond's lost 35 pounds since the middle of the season.
So seriously, he's on a diet.
But you're in one of the greatest cities in the world.
Toronto's a fantastic city.
Great food.
You're out there eating.
And you never know.
There might be some prep cook who's like, who's eating?
What's the meal?
Okay, boom, I got you.
All I'm trying to say is there are NFL teams, NBA teams, that once they get to this close to the promised land, you control every environment that you're in.
Real talk.
And you might bring chefs with you if you're going to Golden State.
And if you're Golden State, you might bring chefs with you to Toronto because you don't know what a motherfucker might try to do.
And I'm not talking about it's organized by the team.
I'm talking about it's a crazy family.
Let me tell you something.
If the Knicks were in the fucking finals.
That's why Spike Lee pussy.
Somebody who was fucking Reggie.
Yo, if the Knicks were in the fucking finals and somebody's seen LeBron walking into a fucking restaurant, you're not rubbing your dick on his food.
You're not doing some shit.
You're not making sure you're not going to fucking ride the subway.
Dead out of it.
Dead arrived the subway during the playoffs.
Try to watch the subway during the finals.
Lakers against the Knicks.
Toronto, this is your first chip ever.
It's your first time in the East Conference Finals.
That entire country is behind him.
LeBron's on a subway and it's in the finals against the Knicks.
If one of those little black kids that does a pole dance and don't kick him in the fucking mouth, you're not a real Knicks.
Dancers, if the train conductor isn't like, LeBron, you're about to stay right here.
He said, you're not a real Knicks fan.
I thought it was a different word.
No, the train conductor's got to be like, bing, bing.
Keep the door closed, like, braun.
I heard LeBron James is in one of our cars.
So if you're a homeless guy that don't shit himself in the car, you're not a real Knicks fan.
You got to shit yourself and throw it out.
I don't doubt that this level of fandom occurs.
I believe that.
I also just think it's the same thing we've brought up where Steph is always hurt when he's having a bad game.
Then all of a sudden he catches fire and Doris mentions it at the end during the post-game interview.
But then there's no Steph is still talking to his trainers.
Blah, blah, blah.
All of a sudden, he looks great.
He looks fresh.
He didn't look sick.
Jordan flew game, whatever that was.
Kango, nothing makes you feel better than him.
He really did look sick.
He looks sick.
I might be hating.
I think he's sick.
You hate.
You're hating.
Because he looked awful.
He looked awesome.
But Kawhi also looked awful.
I've never seen Kawhi have that bad energy.
I've never seen Kawhi complain to the refs as much as he's complaining.
And when do you complain a lot?
Like the old man at the YMCA?
When you don't got it physically, you got to use every advantage you got.
Kawhi is like, Kawhi.
Kwai played like shit.
He was the quietest.
I think you said this in the group tech.
It was the quietest 30-point game, right?
Yeah, 34-14, and it didn't seem like it made a difference.
Bro, I mean, like, he was lazy on defense.
He was getting beat on pump fakes.
It was just not the Kawhi that we're using.
At the end of the game, the ball went right to Kawhi's hand.
And Sean Livingston out jumped you.
That's insane.
Something's off.
Also, I've never seen Kawhi Leonard is the DeAndre Hopkins of basketball in that I've never seen him lose a jump ball, right?
If two guys are going, if there's a corner and DeAndre Hopkins going up for a jump ball, we know who's coming down with him.
The hands are unbelievable, undeniable.
You're telling me Sean Livingston.
Who's probably going to retire at the end of this year?
Sean Livingston is going to rip a ball out of Kawhi Leonard's hands?
That's what champs do, bro.
That's what I'm doing.
So are y'all keeping your prediction or are you trying to cop some pleasure right now?
Nah, I just talked about it.
We're talking about the family.
Oh, he's talking.
I already jumped.
I'm just going to say it because you're just playing this Kawhi's hurt game.
I said from jump that splitting the first two.
Except for jump that splitting the first two.
I said they're splitting the second two.
Kawhi's going to go into the ball.
It's all good, though.
It's all good.
Bashing Arbor.
It feels good.
Warriors in five.
So they split the first four.
Toronto goes in the Golden State, wins the Golden State, and then takes it home in Toronto.
Yeah, I think that's what I'm thinking.
I agree.
I think I thought Toronto was going to take both home games.
But I think that the Warriors win, depending what the lineup is, Boogie's going to be exhausted and sore.
People don't realize this.
And he even said in the post-game interview, they're like, how do you feel?
He goes, right now I feel good.
Tomorrow, shit, I don't know.
Multiple days off.
So, so, yeah.
So just so Boogie, Boogie is now playing 30 minutes for the first time in months.
He's playing 30 minutes in an NBA finals third minutes.
That's not 30 minutes regular season.
I'm starting.
I know.
So Boogie is going to feel a very different way than he's used to feeling.
So we're not going to get the same energy from Boogie.
Is Clayton?
That's a good question.
He's going to play.
I don't know.
Clay said he will play.
Yeah, Clay said he doesn't feel like he's going to miss the game.
So maybe Clay will play.
How effective is he?
How effective?
Iggy also not feeling great.
So now we have a bunch of the players on that team that are not.
Obviously, Steph will feel better, right?
So you have a bunch of guys on the team not feeling better.
I think that Toronto takes one of the two games in Golden State.
And I think Toronto closes it out when they go back home.
One of the two.
I agree.
I think if Toronto won game two, this series was over.
If they sweep, if they win, get the game.
I think it was a winnable game.
It was a winnable game, and that's what kills me, someone who hates Toronto or hates Golden State so much.
If they lost that game with Clay now popping his hamstring, whatever happened to it, Draymond's going to be fucking exhausted.
Iggy's hurt.
They're just like, yo, how fucking demoralized?
I don't care if you're champs.
How demoralizing is that down 0-2?
Honestly, though, the one thing that scares me about my prediction is with all this happening, this is the type of shit where like Steph goes off for like 50.
Your prediction was Golden State, right?
Golden Satan 6 was your prediction.
No, I had Raptors in 6.
All right.
All this pick the Raptors?
Yeah.
Okay, word.
Look.
My only thing I was off was I had them.
I had it ending in Golden State, not winning game five because the Raptors have home court advantage.
I say Kawhi shutting down the Oracle and six and the six.
I mean, how poignant, how perfect, how romantic.
Right?
Very point.
I just feel like...
I feel like Kawhi's game travels more injured than Steph's game does.
And a lot of their injuries, though.
And I don't think Katie's going to come back.
And if he does come back.
So here's the thing that people are making a big deal of, right?
They're like, the Raptors couldn't win when, or I'm sorry, sorry.
The Warriors lost to the Raptors, but they needed Fred Van Fleet to beat them or something like that.
That's never had a historically great game.
Pascal and Fred Van Fleet, that's never going to happen again.
And it's like, okay, fair enough.
But the Raptors lost to the Warriors because Quincy Cook or Quinn Cook ended up balling out of his fucking mind and Boogie Cousins ends up balling out of his mind.
It's like, if you're the Raptors and you lose because Boogie plays 30 minutes and balls out of his mind, QC comes off the bench, balls out of his mind, and then you lose the game realistically on a three-pointer from Iggy.
Okay.
After they went on a 20-0 run and you're still in the game at the end, it's a two-point game with four seconds left.
They played a box-in-one like it was fucking D2 college and it was effective.
But you understand what I'm saying?
No, I'm saying to your point of like watching that game, Golden State, hats off.
I do think all these injuries, like you're saying, that's going to add up.
That can get you through that game.
I think in a six, seven game series, that adds up.
That's what gives me hope for my prediction.
Right.
No, Nick.
But what I'm saying is, is people are making a big deal about this loss.
Okay.
And I don't think it's a big deal, this loss.
Right.
Because they lost in the exact way.
If you had to choose a way to lose, that is how it's designed.
I would like to lose if I'm the Raptors and we have to lose.
I don't want to lose to Clay and Steph dropping 60 points.
I want to lose to Quincy.
Quinn.
What is this?
I don't even know his name.
Quinn Cook.
I want to lose to Quinn Cook and Medookie.
I want to lose to Quinn Cook and Boogie.
And who's going to hit the back breaking three to kill me?
Not a Splash Brother, the worst three-point shooter on the team?
Sure.
And they even said that.
That's what Nurse said in another post-case conference.
It's like, we give him 10 more chances.
I like our shit.
I think it will be okay.
And it's true.
So it's like.
That's a little disrespectful to a champ, though.
Iggy is a champ.
Any other shots.
20% three-point shooter, though.
I'm giving him the same.
The other 47 minutes of the game, yeah, take it.
The last one minute, let me have Quinn Cook try to hit that shot.
Oh, you're a better three-point shooter.
Iggy's Robert Ore guy.
Iggy.
Yes.
This generation is Robert Ore.
And anybody who's young watching basketball right now, if you ever heard the name Robert Ore, whatever Iggy ends up doing in these finals or these closeout games and playoffs where he's stripping somebody or hitting big shots or playing immaculate.
Winning plays.
That's what they played Dre used to do.
They played Dre.
They played Dre.
Championship winning plays is what Robert Horry used to do, whether it's the big shot, whether he goes off for like 10 in the fourth quarter.
Like that was big shot by the ball.
That's what he would do.
That's why, to me, at the end of a game, I like my chances of Quinn Cook or fucking, what's his name?
Free Drinks Game Night Bets00:03:12
Kayvon Looney taking that shot.
100%.
I'm on Iggy.
Looney's out too.
And people act like that's not a big deal.
No, that's a big deal.
They're beat up.
For the first time, they're beat up in the finals.
Yeah.
Severely beat up.
Everybody's beat up when you get to the finals.
They're injured.
Yes.
Right?
Like, nobody's feeling great at the end of the season, but they are injured to the point where it's like, if this was regular season, would you play?
Probably not.
So what's going to happen game three?
We'll find out together at vinyl.
That's right.
That's Flavrio Finals.
Yes.
As promised, you talked about on Patreon.
But this Wednesday, New York City, if you're in town, or if you're coming out of New York City, whatever.
Vinyl.
All of us will be there starting at 7 o'clock.
Shout out to Tito's Vodka.
They'll be supplying the libations for everybody to drink.
7 to 8 free drinks.
Free drinks for everybody who gets in there.
So get there early, get your drink on.
Come hang out with us.
There's lots of food.
It's a great place.
Big fucking projected TV.
Bunch of TV screens.
It's going to be really dope.
Come and kick it with your boys.
Eden will be there, Alex.
Eden will be in there spinning as well.
It's going to be a fun thing.
It's going to be an asshole-filled night.
We're all going to watch the game together.
And we're probably going to do more of these things in the future.
You can get tickets on Eventbrite in MyBio.
You know, Akash's, Andrews, everybody.
But we'll tweak the link out.
It's in the Patreon.
It's in the Discord.
It's everywhere.
So just pull up to vinyl on Wednesday, June 5th at 7 o'clock.
So the game starts at 8.
And again, let me clear this up.
7 to 8, Tito's is sponsoring some free drinks.
It's just Tito's.
Don't get so fucked up, you get kicked out.
You can get kicked out.
We've had a lot of things.
We've had to do this in the past.
Vinyl got some real security, too.
They will get you the fuck out of here quick.
Very quick, okay?
Make sure you know what you're doing.
Make sure you can control yourself.
Come hang out with your boys.
Go get tickets.
The tickets are what, 10 bucks?
10 bucks.
You know why we have tickets?
So that motherfuckers that should be there will be there.
Absolutely.
Okay, that's what you do.
Unless I look, we're half sold out already.
So by the time this drops tomorrow, I'm sure it'll be done.
So I would go very quickly, go very quickly, go get that shit, watch it.
This is the Flagrant Finals.
We've been doing this.
Well, we did this last year, but we're going to do this every season.
Second annual.
Second annual Flagrant Finals.
Now, there's something I want to add.
I don't know how to add it, and I know it's illegal.
But I want to add some of you want to say it, though.
Gambling.
I don't know how to do it, but I want to add a gambling element to this.
I want to have a bookie that we run, a bookkeeping service that we run.
I don't know how to do it, and I can't do it because I know I'll just lose all the money because I'm sure that there's, you know, amounts that you have to do a spread and all these different types of bets.
But I want to essentially be a bookie for these parties because we'll do these parties around these big events.
And I think it'd be very cool for people to gamble, but also find interesting, weird shit to gamble about as well.
Prop bets, is that what they're called?
Cool prop bets as well.
So if there's any of you that are very well informed about gambling and you'd like to help explain and maybe lend a hand and maybe run it for us, reach out and let's cook up something cool.
Take us some side bets.
Raycon Wireless Earbud Promo00:03:09
Yeah, it is wildly illegal what we're saying that we're going to do here.
I'm aware of that.
But I think it'd be a very cool thing for this intimate community-based party that we're throwing.
Again, we're only going to be 125 people in there, something like that.
And as these parties expand, maybe they grow.
But we're going to add a casino element to this shit.
Maybe it's not this time, maybe it's the next time, but we need someone to help us with it.
So let's do some illegal shit.
Let's do it.
I think it's also important that we pay some bills out here, bro.
God, we got so many bills.
You know, because the army supports.
I love it.
There's some very spitting and very fitting sponsors today.
Absolutely.
First, we had Blue Chew with Lisa Ann.
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What is that?
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But I'm sure there's a white guy involved in this business.
But Raycon earpods start about half the price of any other premium wireless earpods on the market.
And they said the shortest amount of time, by the way, I've had AirPods is in nine hours.
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Raycon's E50 wireless earbuds have totally changed the game for me, okay?
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Now, if you go to buyraycon.com/slash flagrant2, all right, there's going to have, they're going to have like a promo code thing that's going to already be in the website.
It's a little bit confusing.
I don't know why the hell they do it like this.
You know how we usually just do the promo code flagrant.
I talk to them, and this is how they want to do it.
It's basically a landing page.
So the website, it's already baked in.
Just, it'll be self-explanatory when you go.
Go to buyraycon.com/slash flagrant2, okay?
And make sure you get your 20% off your Raycon wireless earbuds.
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Slim Reaper Injury Concerns00:14:50
Simple sports shit that we like.
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And there's been companies that we said that we did not want to work with.
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One more time.
That's buyraycon.com slash flagrant sue.
Back to this finals talk.
Talk to me.
I think the Klay Thompson injury is a big deal.
I think, first of all, it's hilarious that he got it flopping.
I think that's so fucking perfect.
Not just for the Warriors who flop.
Every star flops.
Watching Steph jump into fucking whoever and try to draw fouls all game was infuriating.
And then seeing a player get injured flopping, the whole league needs to see this.
Every star.
Yeah.
He only has himself to blame.
They literally kicked his leg out so that he could get a foul.
It didn't hit, so his legs were spread.
And then when he landed, he did like a split.
And then he pulled his hammy in that way.
And to be honest with you, I don't think he's going to be ready.
A hamstring?
I know football better than I know basketball.
And I know they're very different sports.
But football, a hamstring is a real fucking problem.
Keeps you out weeks.
Because even when you think it's good, you aggravate it constantly.
Like the Cowboys always have hamstring injuries, and the players always aggravate it.
They take a few weeks off, three weeks off even.
They come back for a game, aggravate it.
I know different muscles.
I know all of that.
But I do know hamstrings are tricky from that's my understanding in a different sport.
Even if he does come back, man, like he's got to guard some of the, he's got to guard Kawhi.
He's got to run around screens a lot.
Like you're not going to get, you're not getting that burst off the leg with a bum hammy.
And even if he's not guarding Kawhi, he's guarding what?
Danny Green.
And if I'm that, if I'm the, if I'm Nick Nurse, I have Danny Green running everywhere.
Yeah, Danny.
I mean, Danny Green is like a homeless Klay Thompson.
Like the way they play.
He's not nearly as effective, but as far as offensive, the way they run him, just off a million screens, getting corner threes and all that shit.
Homeless Klay Thompson is perfect.
Same shit.
Would keep my most physically fit two shooting guard, two swing position on the court at all times.
So, whether it's Iggy or Clay, we are running them ragged on weak muscles just constantly non-stop going.
All this being said, I feel like the Warriors win game three.
I think this is a game that Steph has.
I think this is this is the stage is fucking set for Steph to have that fucking game that we've all wanted to have in the finals or have all been waiting for him to have in the finals.
A 40 slash 50 slash game.
I'm not shocked by it.
I wouldn't be that surprised if that happened.
I'll be honest.
Even with a depleted team, I wouldn't be that surprised if they lost that game.
I just think that the Raps get out of there with one or two.
Yeah, I think so too.
I think they split the first four, and then the Warriors go to Toronto, lose one, lose one, and they lose the chip at home.
And they shut down Oracle after that.
That made me so happy that you left the most loyal fan base, arguably in basketball outside of Toronto.
Forgot.
Yeah, so that'll be the last game in Oracle, and for what they did to Kawhi's ankle two years ago, Kawhi shuts down the arena.
Wow.
That would make a selfie series.
I don't know that it happens like that, but that would make me so happy.
It'll do poetic justice.
It's poetic, yeah.
I forgot that it goes back and forth like that.
Yeah.
It's five, six, seven.
You'll only six in the sixth.
That's so stupid.
Yeah.
Just make a noise.
No, it's better than it was before when it was fucking two whole two games.
Yeah, people hated two, three, two, in the middle, and then it was the last two at home.
That sucked.
Why?
Because they can won one of the first ones than you had home.
They have the whole credit of his house.
Yeah.
I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, I just hate all that extra travel.
And they only did that because milking it and stretching this shit out.
They only did that because all the Eastern Conference teams were all the way in the East, and there was the Lakers.
So it was like the travel schedules were brutal.
So that's why they did it like that.
But it's basically the same thing from the Bates at Toronto.
Yeah.
We all saw the Clay video where he comes out and talks to Drake.
It's pretty funny.
Beautiful.
You're not talking a lot now, or you'll break.
Bum ass.
Bum ass.
It's funny because he's so not good at trash talk, but like he seemed affected.
Like, I liked it.
You went out there after him, and he's like, you lucky I popped my hammy.
Otherwise, it would have been worse.
Like, I liked it.
And Drake was like, you played a good game.
You play a good game.
He was like, yeah, that was light, too.
He said, that was light work.
That was light work.
You lucky I popped my hammy.
That's light work.
Drake was just like, it's okay.
It's still one-to-one.
Like, Drake is just, it's just a funny, corny, light-skinned trash talk exchange.
But it's still funny.
And, like, I like the fucking, yo, fuck you.
Yeah, it was beautiful.
And that trash talk kind of makes me think, because, because KD was waiting for Dre.
Drake was deep down there.
KD waiting for him.
KD even saying shit.
No, no.
He was talking with me.
He was saying something quietly that we didn't hear.
Whatever it was, whether it was good or bad, I don't know.
He saw something.
He was just doing like the yeah.
I was like, all right, we'll see you in the bed.
He's like, all right, all right.
And then that's what makes me think KD is going to be, he's going to play.
I think he's going to be ready to go.
I think he's going to be, I think he plays one of the things that we're seeing KD likely back for game three or four, which makes me think game four, they're saying, is likely.
They're just saying that so that Toronto wastes time preparing.
It's no different than football where they're like, yeah, yeah, we think he's going to play.
In my scheme, it's always questionable.
Never probable.
The probable always means they're going to play.
Questionable means, well, we don't know.
We'll see.
It's all games.
That being said, when betting becomes legal, this is all going to change.
Would it be legal ones?
No, no, but when it becomes legal and sanctioned by the league, you're not going to be able to lie about injuries because those injuries could drastically affect the legal line and they could affect the spread.
So that whole game of coaches pretending someone's injured or saying somebody isn't and then they're not playing, like when you got a million dollars on the line, when Vegas got a million dollars on the lawn or millions of dollars on the line, it's like, nah, we're not going to do that, Steve Kerr.
You might get dudes pulled up on over some shit like that.
Isn't that the same thing football does?
What do you mean?
Patriots do it all the time.
Yeah, but it's not legal to gamble on it.
Oh, Tom Brady's been on the fucking injured list for like 12 years.
Yeah, that's what he's doing.
Like, whole or some shit.
See you in the bay, Aubrey, with your bum ass.
That's the playlist.
See you in the bay, Aubrey, with your bum ass.
Then he like enunciates.
Yo, KD's ankles are so skinny, man.
It's like when he walks around in those little high water, the tech please shit.
It's shocking he's athletic.
Doesn't he look so somali?
But you were just talking about wiry strength.
That's what he has.
I know, it's still shocking.
Like when you look at Anthony Joshua, you're like, oh, that's a fighter.
When you look at Tommy Hearns, you're not like, oh, that's a fighter.
It's just shocking.
What I'm saying is Anthony Joshua looks like a better fighter than he actually is capable of because of his physique.
He looks like a million bucks.
Like you look at KD's ankles, you're like, there's no way he could do a crossover.
He'll just break his whole shit in half.
But he is a skinny, wiry guy.
Yeah.
Strength, though.
There's a lot of strength in those in that wiring.
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of like fucking fucking cable wires.
Like they look like they're fucking weak, but you pull them shits like three of those or four of those together.
And it's strong as fuck.
Skinny, those are the same.
Like a kendo stick, like those fucking Singapore canes and shit.
His thighs and calves are the same size.
100%.
He's really crazy.
Yeah, he looks like a Tim Burton character.
Doesn't he?
Just skeleton.
Remember before Christmas?
Nah, Slenderman.
That was the one.
He's Slenderman, dude.
That's what they try to nickname him.
They did.
Slender Man and Slim Reaper.
Slim Reaper is a little bit more.
I want to run with Slim Reaper.
Slim Reaper was such a firefighting.
What stupid ass nickname did he want?
The Servant.
The Servant.
Just fucking religious shit.
Yeah, I was like, why would you do that?
Slim Reaper was such a firefighting.
I like the Pegasus personally.
I think it's a great nickname.
Pegasus.
You know, he's graceful, floats about the Pegasus.
Are we going to talk about this lawsuit?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This might affect him during the finals.
You think so?
Kawhi?
You got to keep a hand on that.
Kawhi's a robot.
He doesn't come near that shit.
And when they say Kawhi is suing, they mean Kawhi's people.
Yeah.
He probably doesn't have no idea.
He probably just saw this with all of us.
Like, damn, I guess I'm sueing.
Let's be honest.
Right?
You want to get the most traction in a lawsuit so you could settle outside of court.
They're not really going to fucking court over this.
So if I'm Kawhi's lawyer and I know the entire world is watching Kawhi Leonard right now because it's the finals, I had this lawsuit ready to go for months.
Oh, you're telling me I could drop it during the finals?
Hell's fucking yes.
Let's go.
So this is complete strategy by his team that he has no, I mean, maybe he's on board with him and saying, okay, you can do this, but this is strategy, man.
And I bet New Balance is involved in it as well.
Absolutely.
Why not?
New Balance is like, hey, this would be the right time to do it.
Use these lawyers.
Go for it.
Did you see their billboard outside of Toronto?
I mean, outside of Oracle?
Yeah.
What did I say?
Tight.
There's a picture of him with fucking Times New Roman font, and it said like X on Orlando, X on Milwaukee, X on whoever they played, the Sixers, X on Milwaukee.
It said the King of the North is coming.
Like right over fucking Oracle.
This is hot.
I'm like, God damn.
Did y'all see the picture?
Well, I sent it to you guys, but if you go to Steph Curry and his post-game interview.
Ooh.
Oh.
Keeping it real fucking tight.
Keeping it in tight, keeping it flagrant with that.
Infiltrating, bro.
Infiltrating.
Everywhere.
I don't care.
I don't care what you think it looks like.
That's the fucking keep it tight sign.
No, that's flagrant too, bro.
Big fan.
Steph's a big fan.
We everywhere.
This is our sign, and this is flagrant motherfucking two.
And Steph out there.
And you know what?
Steph is part of the army.
And if he is, we accept him.
We're radically inclusive over here at Flagrant 2.
So rude against him, but we accept him.
Oh, absolutely.
I'm only rooting for your post-game.
You know what?
You ain't wearing that hat during the game.
Did you wore it during the game?
Warriors in five.
Easily real talk, bro.
Real talk.
Look how cool Boogie Cousins is.
That's a cool muscle shit.
He's pulling the whole thing off.
He looks like the Fresh Prince, but scary.
Yo.
He really killed it.
That fit, the glasses.
He looks like Hunter S. Thompson.
The Fresh Crip of Bel Air.
The Fresh Crip of Bel Air.
So dope, man.
So dope.
Anyway.
Marcus buzzins.
Marcus buzzins.
Oh, man.
Let me ask you guys last two things that aren't next year related.
Kawhi limping.
Is it an injury or is it the shit from last year flaring up?
Because I remember last year, whatever quadriceps thing he had, it was a limp on his left leg.
And I feel like that's the leg he's limping on.
I think it's tendinitis.
Okay.
Which is scary if you're going to sign him to a max deal.
You got to sign him, but like that's a thing that comes back.
I think it's tendinitis.
This is one thing you ought to worry about if you sign in Kawhi.
You know, he's not playing all 82 games.
You know, they're going to have load management.
Yeah.
So like you're signing him for like 100% because you only need 55 to make the playoffs or less.
But I think it's tendinitis and I think it's just something they're going to have to manage and they're going to have to work it every single day.
And that's the pain in the ass about traveling is when you travel, you lose a whole day of working on Kawhi.
And you lose a whole day of working on any players you have that are injured.
When you're playing at home, like the best thing that could have happened for the Warriors is that they were struggling after that first game and then they had three days in Toronto to get right.
Right.
You know, now you got, what is it?
They got two days.
Well, no, they have, so it was game.
It was yesterday.
Monday, Tuesday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
So the game was yesterday, and then one, two, and then the game is the third day.
Yeah.
Right?
So you lose one of those days in travel.
We're talking about it's a six-hour flight plus three-hour time difference.
That's a not, you know, oh, no, you get three hours back.
So you lose a half day.
And you lose a half day with them sitting down in a fucking in a look.
He's probably getting worked on on that charter flight.
How much work can you get?
Like, when you look at NBA airplanes, right?
Like you've seen the players in the airplane.
It don't look that spacious.
It's not that luxurious.
It's like maybe they got some economy plus, but I'm not seeing them laid out.
They're not sleeping.
It's not sleepers, but they take a bunch of seats out of a regular plane or something like that.
There's enough room for legs, but it's not like they're getting worked on.
It's not like there's a massage table in the back where they're getting it, which is all he should be doing.
I should do II.
I don't know if you guys can exist in every team.
Like Mark Cuban.
Well, it's a cross-country flight.
So if they know they're going to be on the playing for about six plus hours, I'm springing for the big fucking plane so people can get worked on.
Well, they have their own jet.
And they do have their own jet.
They do have their own plane.
But what I would do, if, like you were like you're saying with Mark Cuban, is like what you probably should do is have a jet.
And instead of that room in the back that people would have put a bed, put a physical therapy room in the back of it.
Have a bunch of places where people get stretched out, people get work done.
Because sitting in that seat ain't going to do anything good for that tendinitis.
Work it.
Get you in that cryotherapy machine or whatever the fuck that is.
Like, I don't know.
All I'm saying is this first game, I don't think it's going to be good.
I think you're going to get some ugly basketball.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to get some ugly basketball.
That's why I say with all those injuries, the only person who should be good to go by that game is stuff.
Like the table is set for him to have a monster fucking game.
And if he doesn't, that is going to get hot for him.
Yeah.
It's going to get hot for him.
Because then it's like, we're waiting on KD.
And if KD is 60% when he gets back, well, it gets shaky.
It gets shaky.
And you know who's actually not getting enough smoke at all?
Kyle Lowry and Marcus Ol.
We got off the Kyle Lowry smoke situation because he made it to the finals, right?
And he played well.
Came one, all he did was take some big charges.
They were big.
Which is what he does.
Listen, that's what he does, and he's effective.
He got a couple charges, I think, in game two as well.
And like defensively, you're like, okay, he's hooping.
Yeah.
And he's getting the ball around and things.
But then you look at his stat line, you're like, huh?
If he doesn't have at least, I think he needs at least two good games to win the series points-wise.
100%.
100%.
At least 20%.
And Fred Van Vleet's been carrying them offensively as well.
He didn't shoot as well.
You're going to take his second son and make him the motherfucking piece of the city.
He was struggling before this little boy was born.
Yo, that boy got to sit up at the fucking draft lottery like the kid from Castle.
No, Van Fleet is balling and he has high IQ.
And he's, like, you can tell.
I think in the playoffs, when the buttholes get tight, you need high basketball IQ.
Winning basketball, he played for Wichita State.
Like, they won.
They went to the final four, mid-major team.
Like, that shit comes into play when it comes to the game.
It's aware, like what he's doing.
Like, you can really see certain guys out there.
Like, there's a guy who's incredibly athletic.
His name is Norman Powell.
Yes.
Yeah.
But very average basketball IQ.
He gets caught up in the moment of the game.
He'll drive to the basket recklessly without knowing really what to do, jump in the air, then hopefully find a pass.
He's taking poor shots.
Playoff Basketball IQ Needs00:02:02
Sometimes they land, sometimes they don't.
But that's a situation where you, as shitty as Marcus Soul is playing, his basketball IQ is elite.
And it's a good game one, Gasol.
Yeah, but game two, yeah.
Game two, game two.
Poogie outplayed him.
Poogie bodied him, right?
So game two, shitty ass game, but he's not going to make mistakes.
Like Kawhi, even though he had a quiet 30 and there was a couple, he had a couple turnovers, he has elite basketball IQ.
Kawhi will get to the basket, but he won't leave his feet unless he knows where the ball is going.
A guy like Powell, and there was one point where they yanked him out of the game to brought Kyle back in, and then Kyle ends up fouling out.
But a guy like him, I don't know, man.
I'm limited in minutes.
That game was lost in the third quarter when they went on that.
When they went on that 20-something run, and if they don't find a way, if they don't have an answer for the third quarter Warriors, who people said is like the 31st team in the NBA because they're completely different, if they don't have an answer for the third quarter Warriors, they have no chance.
It's a game of runs.
Basketball is a game of runs.
You have to be able to withstand runs from each team.
And that's something that a lot of people watching the game that aren't familiar with basketball often comment on and they go, oh, well, here come the Warriors.
No, no, this is here comes a team.
The Raptors are going to make a run.
The Warriors are going to make a run.
It's a game of runs.
You just want to make sure you make the last run.
And the Raptors did.
The Raptors made the last run, and they got beaten.
To be honest, they got beaten by a three by a guy you want taking a three.
If Iggy misses that shot, they're down two with five seconds left with the most clutch player in the league right now.
They're at least getting a foul in home court.
They're at least getting a foul.
You're going to get a foul or you're going to get a good shot.
Yeah.
Well, we'll watch game three together on Wednesday if you're listening to this today on Tuesday.