Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect NBA playoff predictions, forecasting Golden State and Houston's dominance while analyzing San Antonio's resilient role players and Milwaukee's offensive struggles. They debate the removal of Kate Smith's Philadelphia statue due to racist lyrics in "God Bless America" and clarify Dean Martin's "Baby, It's Cold Outside" as a party song rather than a depiction of assault. Ultimately, the episode blends sports analysis with cultural commentary on race, identity, and comedy, concluding with tour announcements across major US cities. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Manscaped Shaving Offer00:02:07
What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Assholes Water Cooler Commentary for Your Sports Needs.
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Hypothetical Ring Calls00:14:40
But we want to appreciate Flagrant Media Group for going out there and bringing in these new companies to partner up with us with these podcasts.
So we got a shout out to Devon right there doing extra work and shout out to everybody else that's doing the extra work over there to bring these brands in.
We're very excited about it.
Now I think it's time to start the show.
It's time to start the show.
It's time to start the show.
I'm here with Akash Singh.
I'm here with real life Kaz Kaws or whoever his fucking name is this week.
That's what happens.
When you get a show, you lean into your identity.
You know what I mean?
Like, when you're working with other people, it's like, let me get a name that everyone can pronounce.
And then once you got your own shit, it's like, no, this is soon you're going to have some clicks.
Soon it's going to be a lot.
It was a lot easier.
Cause and effect.
Oh, God.
I just got to let it rock for too long.
Do your thing, bro.
Does it matter, bro?
Do your thing.
Shouts to the people.
It's all about branding, baby.
Cooking that shit up.
I know you're doing a brand well.
Shout out to Ed, man.
Cause and effect don't sound bad, though.
But cause and effect sounds a little bit better.
It does.
But cause sounds terrible as a name.
But you're cause as a shit in there.
You're elongating the odds.
I don't cause.
I don't know.
How do you say it?
Cause cause and effect.
I actually like cause and effect.
It doesn't have the same to it.
Did you just click?
I told you this guy's got more and more African every single week.
Every style bender on here once.
All of a sudden, these guys are dressing all black.
Dude, it's going down.
You are all black, though.
No, you don't.
Yeah, you do.
Cashmere looks like a fucking watch made out of bones.
Even bringing in that Ghana Gold recently.
Dude, this is.
I love the gold at home.
I just wore my Easter gold today.
All right, fair enough.
Anyway, look, a lot of shit, a lot of shit to discuss.
Hold on.
Before we get into sports, because, I mean, this is my favorite time of the year.
I love NBA playoffs.
It's the best time of the year, without a doubt.
But we have someone who, for the first time in their life, is watching Game of Thrones, right?
That's cause.
God.
Yes.
Cause doesn't sound right.
Cause it's not cause.
What is it?
You're putting the W in there.
It's like cause.
Yeah.
Cause cause.
Yeah.
Cause that's cause.
Cause that's cause cause.
Cause cause.
Dawes.
Yeah, you're a doze.
I don't call you a cause.
I'm going to call you Kazeem, bro.
I'm going to call you Kazim.
Fuck all this.
Kazim in effect.
My mama called me Kazim.
Kazim.
That should sound like an instrument.
You play the Kazoo?
No, I play the Kazim.
So, okay, so Kat.
Cause I like Dawes.
Dawson.
Dawson's Creek.
But you see the vowel rules, right?
It's the vowel rules.
Keep me saying it's vowel rules and shit.
There are vowel rules.
So think about it.
I swear to God.
I hate this moment.
You swear to God, bro.
Hate this motherfucker.
You know what I mean?
This is your fault.
It's not even NBC money to change your names.
I never changed my name.
You've been somewhere, bro.
I never changed my name.
You come from two educated people.
I'm the one who's first generation college.
I got to be explaining these stupid grammatical rules like it's something I'm flexible.
I never changed my name.
Anybody who's known me from before.
You call me Kaz.
Actually Chanel.
You know Kaz.
Chanel's been calling me Kaz for forever.
I just thought that was her accent.
I ain't never heard that bitch call you nothing.
Cause I'm not a little bit more.
I call me a bitch for a rule.
Cause that's a woman.
That's the term of endearment I have for women as a feminist.
I told Akash, I was like, yo, I kind of, yo, I might kind of like a girl a little bit.
He was like, let me see this bitch on this.
I said, I just said I kind of like her, yo.
I kind of like her.
Guys, he's sending his bitches out early.
You got to get them out early for a while.
What's he mean, sir?
That he's going to be all.
Also, also, listen, I respect women too much to give him all those syllables.
That's fake.
You know what I mean?
What do you mean?
What do you mean by that?
It's like when someone's like, oh, he's a bitch.
Can we call your girl?
Can we call your girl a bitch?
No!
It's not wifey.
J, your wifey.
You just mech this bitch.
The fuck?
So we can't call your girl a bitch.
As soon as that's your girl, it's a rap.
There's no Chanel bitch.
You're not Chanel Mad Times.
Chanel ain't your girl.
That's just some bitch that be hanging out.
Fuck, man.
God damn it.
We're flagrant, too.
Well, it's flagrant 0.5.
I'm just saying, if we're not.
If we were keeping it flagrant, we would call your girl a bitch.
That's a flagrant tree.
I'm just saying.
See, you guys.
I'm not calling you a girl a bitch.
I'm just saying.
This ain't newer palace.
This ain't your voice.
One game objection.
Right now, we kind of get a little bit of a title.
This is a one-game rejection.
We're like right here with Titanus.
But if we were like all the way tight.
Absolutely.
Your girl would absolutely be.
You know, these are bitch bitches, bro.
The fuck.
The fuck.
That's a hypothetical.
That's just hypothetical.
Hypothetically.
We didn't know if it was your girlfriend.
It just could be some bitch calling.
That's some bitch.
That's the bitch is calling me.
Listen, we don't know.
Okay?
It could be your mom calling.
It could be someone else.
I would never call you mom.
I would never call myself a bunch of people.
I'm not calling you a girl, bitch.
I'm saying hypothetically, some little bitch could be calling you during this fucking episode.
Yeah.
I don't care about no bitches.
The only bitches off the table for bitches is moms and girls.
Right.
What if, hypothetically speaking?
What if, hypothetically speaking, all right?
There's a lot of Indian bitches out there, right?
Correct.
I hear no lies.
This is about a half million of these bitches.
It's two exceptions.
That's it.
It's two exceptions, right?
So, there's a little bit of room in the asshole.
Like, the asshole is not completely closed, right?
It's not completely closed.
Like, if you went up to this on the asshole and you blew into it, it would make that little sound like the whole thing.
Yeah, it would make a little bit.
That's what it's really open.
It was really open here.
It was a little bit, it's just like a little snapple bottle.
I'm the most respectful.
It would sound like a crying ass bitch.
I disrespected a girl.
This is true.
And that's a white girl.
I'm not an Alex girl and she's a white family.
I don't even think they're people.
I got some hair.
I got to pull the grenade and keep it somewhere.
If I died, we died.
We already already out of here.
I burned the whole house.
Stop it.
Alex looked.
He looked right at you.
He said, oh, you're a bitch.
You're a white girl, a bitch.
You're so funny, Alex.
I'm so funny.
She is a bitch, okay?
I got a lot of fun.
Holy shit, son.
Hey, Alex.
Check his laptop.
The whole fucking ship is sinking.
The ship is sinking.
All right.
Where's the cello?
Where's the violin?
The titanic is going down.
Okay?
Jesus.
Alex just called his girl a bitch.
I've called my own mama a bitch.
Okay.
I'm just saying about my girl.
Call your girl a bitch.
Not call my girl a bitch.
Call your girl a bitch.
Nah, I'll do it in context.
I'm not going to do it because you told me to.
That's all I just made up.
All right, fine.
All right, fine.
So let's make a context.
All right, what if?
What if?
You have a bad argument and you guys take a break.
Oh, she getting all the bitches.
If we break.
No, no, no.
He's like, yo, let's take a break.
She's getting them from me.
She still ain't getting it from y'all.
If you guys take a break, the bitch is in play.
You got nothing.
Nah, that's not.
If you take a break, I'm like, how dare this bitch break up in my bitch?
Oh, my dad, this bitch do it.
If you come into her one day, man, hold that button.
Matt said, we're talking to you about it.
I'm like, this bitch broke my friend's heart.
Damn, bro.
Break my friend's heart, bro.
Fuck damn.
Heartbreaking ass down.
Let's take a heartbreaking ass.
Hey, What the fuck?
Yo, I cut to knock himself out.
I can't knock any of y'all, so I'm going to knock me out.
What y'all gonna do then?
Here's the rule of sports podcast, right?
Me and my girl on a break, the bitch is at the scorer's table ready to check in.
And if we break up, you get that motherfucker on the floor.
Go on out.
I'm saying, if y'all decide to take a break, right?
If y'all decide to take a break, I think, first of all, I'm gonna stay with it.
It was a set right there.
I'm gonna sit with this bitch just so we don't take the break, so I had to hear y'all call her a bitch.
That's all I'm saying.
You don't gotta tell us that you're on a break, but if you come in and you tell us you're on a break, right?
And you're going through it, like there's a time where you need a hug from me.
You're like, bro, please broke.
The break is different because they might get back together.
No, if they're broken, I'll be broke.
If he's heartbroken, then it's like, let me say this.
If you come to me and you are dependent.
What do you say?
I don't know what he's saying.
What do you say?
What do you say?
He's about to go to the point of no return.
I was asking you guys: if you're on a break, can you fuck other bitches?
Stop, That's too far.
It's too far.
That's too far.
Stop, You're already thinking about other bitches.
We're talking about main bitches.
Hypothetically.
Now I know what Cash dresses up.
He dresses like he's on a death row poster.
Yo, we are on that book.
You ready for it?
Okay, so this is what I'm saying.
If you come to me, you guys are on a break, right?
But you come to me, you're like, yo, Schultz, I need to talk to you for a second.
You start fucking welling up a little bit.
I give you a manhug, you know what I mean?
Dap up, yo, my man, I got you.
Everything good.
What's going on?
Nah, shit is so stressful.
My home is broken.
Right, I mean, like, she took the dog.
She took me and see the dog.
Do you know what I mean?
She changed her locks.
Right.
Feeling this a little bit.
She changed her fucking locks.
She cursed out your best friends.
Oh, yeah.
She's furious.
She's not letting nobody talk to you.
She took your underwear and disorganized it.
She did a lot.
I'll be folding my shit properly.
Listen, disorganize.
Call my girl, bitch, because she disorganized the underwear, man.
Disorganized underwear.
I'm trying to make this a little more extreme.
She put your exercise shirts with your regular shirts so you don't even know which one you can get.
So you don't know which one you can get.
So when you try and go to gym and work out, right?
And you fucking distraught and you're hanging out, right?
Yeah.
Is it allowed?
No.
I'm not saying calling her a bitch.
Listen, calling her a bitch.
I'm not calling her a bitch.
I'm just saying during that break, during that break.
No!
When we break up, if we break up, you get it all.
Why do you need that?
Why do you need the energy?
Why you need the energy bitch for you?
Look, I respect the play.
I don't call you.
You not even win the same energy, bro.
Stupid.
I can't invest in these money.
I respect it.
I respect it.
But the energy is so misproportionate right now, bro.
Yeah, family.
Girls, energy not the same.
I can say anything I want about my family.
You can't.
Anybody wants to take a break from my boy, got to be a bitch.
You got to be a bitch.
You got to be a least a little bit.
You got to be.
You got to be a bitch.
So it's like, we could not call it.
And not for nothing.
It makes me feel better about our friendship.
Also, also, real talk.
If you guys get together back again after, let that be a lesson for her bitches.
Not to be a bitch in the first place.
And then she wouldn't be here.
That's all I'm saying.
Hypothetically speaking, we would obviously never call anybody.
I mean, we ain't taking no breaks or whatever.
You're right.
You're right.
So y'all got nothing to worry about.
We're dying together.
We might kill each other.
We're dying together.
Hold on one second.
Tell death do us part.
That's marriage value.
Did you get married?
We finna.
Are we about to?
What is we finna?
No.
Yo.
Holy shit.
I hope that's how she accepts your proposal.
Word up.
Yo, man.
You said it, yo, baby.
Will you marry me?
We finna.
We finna get married.
Yo, I'm not gonna lie.
I feel you.
I feel you.
I'd be upset at you if I was her.
I'd probably be like, this bitch, this bitch-ass dude right here, not gonna marry me.
She probably saying that somewhere.
Oh, gosh.
Hey, look.
Yo, why don't you just put the ring on it?
Throw it down.
That's gonna happen.
You got to.
How are you gonna do it?
Are you a weatherman?
I'm saying that.
The hurricane's coming.
I don't want to put too much out, and then people tell her what's going to happen.
I'm saving up.
You save up?
Oh, really?
Flagrant2.com slash.
I mean, Patreon.com slash flagrant2.
Make sure you're saving up.
I respect it.
Yeah, we use more subs.
Work.
Get some more subs.
I told her I'm getting a shut the fuck up size ring.
A big enough ring that anytime she starts yelling, I can be like, hey.
Yo, all right.
So that should be like our new goal.
We get that.
We are down.
Let me tell you something.
No, no, we already got it.
We need something between that.
Between 5,000 and 10,000.
I got just had a brilliant idea.
Yeah.
This was fucking genius.
So you said that you're going to get a ring that's shut the fuck up size.
Meaning it's so big that when she starts nagging, you can look at her and be like, hey, look at that ring.
Shut the fuck up.
I could be like, hey, bitch.
Do you know how fucking genius that shit is?
That is.
Because he knows he's never going to be able to afford that ring.
So he just gets to keep on putting it off and off and off and off and off.
Girl, you don't even know the size of this ring.
I'm a lot.
You know how many carrots this ring?
Hey, it's to chop all the legs off the kids.
It's the size of the bird jacket.
It's like Akash Flakers is the biggest podcast on earth.
He could really afford it.
It's like, nah, but you know, we got a billion subscribers, Akash.
You're like, well, you know what?
I'm just saying.
You know, I'm going to shut the fuck up, Sauza.
I'm getting you that diamond the English stole from my pal.
The Hope Diamond was that one?
The Hope Diamond.
She's going to be a Hope African.
She's going to be out.
She ain't going to be doing a lot of wearing.
There's going to be a lot of hope.
I'll tell the Patreon what I'm about to do.
How about that?
You got a Patreon when you're about to do it.
I'm not telling Patreon when I'm about to do it.
That should be a subscriber.
I'm going to back in an episode where I know she ain't going to get to it.
You know what I mean?
But am I going to be allowed to be there when you propose?
Because I know she's going to like me.
I'm about to say that's going to be a good idea.
You're ruining your whole game, son.
I would not have you know.
Wedding Speech Drama00:15:25
Why not?
What are you going to be there for?
You didn't see how well-behaved that was at your horrible decisions?
Hell no, you ain't coming nowhere near the proposal.
Bro, come on.
You can't not make nothing by you.
The second you get down me, I'm just going to yell with a loudspeaker.
You ain't coming.
No fucking proposal.
It's going to be if I get you at the wedding.
I better be at the wedding, son, not be at the wedding.
I ain't never been to an Indian wedding.
I'm not going to buy you a ring to shut the fuck up.
I'm not going to say nothing at the wedding.
I promise.
Yeah, you better not.
I'm not.
I'm not at all.
I'm not going to say shit.
Andrew's speech at the wedding?
That shit.
That's got to be on the fucking Patreon.
That shit goes slow.
Andrew's speech at Akash's wedding.
Oh, speech.
I'll make a wedding speech.
He got to.
All he got speech.
Come on, son.
I'm making this.
That shit goes slap.
His best friend is Jamil.
So what?
Jamil ain't letting him speak at the wedding.
Your mom will not let that slide.
Your mom will let him slide.
I gotta speak at the wedding.
It's gotta happen, though.
I gotta speak at the wedding.
I'm rolling on an elephant.
I'm gonna just be on the top of the elephant, and I'm gonna give my whole speech.
How are we both gonna have elephants?
I think they got more than one.
We got that kind of budget.
We got dual elephant budgets.
Son, you buying her this big-ass rock, you could get elephants?
I'm buying the rock so I can save money on the wedding.
Weddings, bro.
Indians don't do nothing to not say money on the road.
Her mom pays for the wedding.
Not you?
Yeah, I was about to say, like, the Whitebeast family pays for it.
No, no, no, no.
They don't.
Not these days.
Really?
Yeah, these days you split Dias.
Man, these bitches change, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I thought that was the deal.
Like, you bald.
These bitches, not mine.
That guy's shit.
These bitches, not yours.
Bitches is tripping, bro.
God damn.
All I'm trying to say is this.
That wedding speech, when I pull up, son, I'm going to pull up on an elephant.
Give a wedding speech right quick.
Give a 30-second wedding speech.
All right.
Auditions.
You ready?
Cold Reed.
Let's go.
Ready, right?
Dearly beloved.
You don't start a wedding speech.
Your white shit into a wedding already.
Okay, Priscia does that shit.
All right.
We've all come here to celebrate the union of two gays.
Akash.
What's your girl's name?
Get the fuck out.
You ain't making no fucking speech.
Get out the fucking studio.
You motherfucker want to make a speech.
Get the fuck out of here.
I don't even know your girl's name.
We go here to celebrate the union of Akash and Lakshmi.
Now, Lakshmi.
If you didn't laugh, I would have thought that's her name.
Oh, yeah.
She's just Akash's girl to me.
It's not a bad girl name either.
Let's do it even.
It works.
It works.
Okay, none of the fucking heathens will find out.
Tell you how my speech is going to go, Akash.
Right.
First of all, I'm going to say, you know how speeches are usually supposed to go, right?
You trash the dude and then you big up the girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how the.
That's how you're supposed to do it.
That is how you're supposed to do it.
We don't give a fuck.
Exactly.
No, I know.
Did she give a fuck?
I don't give a fuck.
Yo, but Alex, do I do things the conventional way ever?
You couldn't make conventional speech.
You ain't making no speech.
Yo.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you about it.
You come in here wilding on my girl.
You ain't got to answer me at the wedding.
You have a bunch of Punjabi, crazy Indians.
I'm not wilding on your girl.
My speech is just going to be about love.
I'm going to tell you.
What do you know about love?
I'm going to tell you.
Are you writing about comedy?
I'm going to tell you about love.
You writing about stand-up?
Can I tell you about love?
I'm going to say, listen.
I've seen you in it.
I knew.
You know what ain't shit?
I was so nice to Andrew's girl.
Just obnoxiously nice.
Is this the one you just liked or this old girl?
No, Tight, right?
He's tight right now.
I'm tight.
You're tight right now.
You're trying to balance the equation and shit.
Yeah.
Can I just give you my speech?
You might like it.
You might like it.
All right.
All right, all right.
I'm not going to like it, but go.
I'm going to let you get your joke out.
Let me tell you something.
Let me get my joke out, right?
Okay.
Let me just get my joke.
You know what I'm saying?
Jesus, right?
Fucking Amen.
So, listen.
Give me a full water raise.
Don't tell my fucking speech.
Listen.
This is my run.
That's yours.
That's yours.
I said, you can take mine too.
This is how much I know that you're going to love my speech.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
First of all, I just want to say thank you to both families for having such a beautiful gathering of love.
Akash and Mrs. Ankosh.
Or Miss Ankash.
She's Mrs. No.
Oh, it's Mrs. I thought it was when you had.
I honestly don't know that's white rules.
It's when you get married, she becomes Mrs. Okay.
Mr. and Mrs. Sing.
It's a beautiful union that you guys have created, right?
A union built on love.
Built on.
Stop, Alex.
Built on love, built on, built on, built on hardship, built on unity, built on family, built on culture.
Okay.
You guys have had amazing times.
You guys have had tough times, but you've managed to pull through.
You've managed to work on yourselves.
You've managed to grow.
You know what I mean?
You've managed to take my best friend in the whole world and move him to New Jersey so I don't see him.
You managed to take one of the people I care most about in the whole world and make it so I never get to hang out with him during the week unless we have the same spot at the comedy club.
You've turned one of my best friends into a text buddy.
You know what I mean?
So to that, I say, good luck.
Because you've taken everything from me.
Hey, real talk, you'll make her happier than you.
That's good.
That's good.
I love that.
She took some happiness from you, Laman.
I won, motherfucker.
I won.
What if that's all?
This is submission.
You won.
There's nothing I could do.
You won.
You did it.
You lost.
The greatest gift.
The greatest gift you can give about Tasha's girl is your unhappiness.
By far.
I'm going to come to the wedding and wear white.
Oh, you're not allowed to wear white or white.
Oh, my bad.
I just didn't know.
I guess you're allowed.
I thought you're allowed to wear white.
That's more white.
I see.
I was just laughing.
That's a rule.
You're not supposed to wear white.
In white weddings, it's like only the bride wears white to symbolize virginity, all that kind of stuff.
Purity gets it.
Yeah, purity.
Say what?
Virginia.
Only for white weddings.
Black weddings do that too.
White weddings do that, too.
Black people get married.
I do it.
Wow.
I do it.
I do it.
I just.
Why do you throw it up?
I know.
Now that I learned.
Now they're learning.
We spent a half hour crossing every boundary we could.
I touched the iceberg.
That's Nino Brown, bro.
That's just fucking it.
Hey, bro.
Who's the fucking Denzel movie where he snitched on everybody?
Nino Brown.
No, American gangster.
Oh, American gangster.
American gangster.
All y'all in trouble.
Fuck out of here.
What a great introduction.
You know, it's funny.
She knew me letting me say bitch about her because she grew up in Florida.
Flexing guess you.
But only me.
And that's it.
Yes, only me.
Okay.
What about my father?
I call my girl bitch sometimes, too.
That's my rule.
She's being a bitch.
Sometimes she'd be cute.
I'd be like, bitch, you better stop it.
And she gets it.
But I don't think white women, Alex, your girl, I guess I always say it the friendly.
The cute way.
Alex girl don't speak English.
This guy says whatever he wants around his girl.
And she's like, no.
She's like, skip skiffy.
Skip, skip, skin.
Right.
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
This is so problematic after Jordan.
Bro, we're doing it today, guys.
I can't ever get.
Son.
Oh, yeah.
How was your thing with the?
This was fun as fuck, bro.
I like this Jordan brand shit.
That's your side bitch to Flagrant 2 main bitch.
Yeah, bro.
I don't like that.
Well, you only see the side bitch every once in a while.
This is home.
What was it?
It's a high school basketball tournament.
Nah, it's their all-American game.
So, like, they have like the McDonald's All-American.
There's like three big high school All-American games throughout the years: the McDonald's All-American game, Jordan Brand Classic, and the Nike Hoop Summit, which has like U.S. Saves the World and shit.
Right.
And then this was the Jordan Brand one.
And it was dope, man.
Like, they had some of the best kids around the country.
Right.
Who's fucking other people's shit?
Who's playing it?
I'm going to fuck.
I did this.
I was called.
You want to call by play?
I was doing play-by-play commentary for it.
The dudes and the bitches?
Yeah, for both.
Them little bitches could play basketball or what?
They was nice, bro.
I was like, yo, the first thing I was thinking about, Laz Wasa, I was like, yo, they will all whip.
They will all bust Andrew's ass.
Fuck out of that.
Damn, bro.
I guarantee there was at least four girls there.
I was like, now they give Andrew the word.
Son.
Absolutely.
I'm Jon Snow with these hoes.
There's so many different and terrible things.
Yo.
Motherfucking Targaryen out here, dude.
I got that Targaryen in there.
Torment?
Who's that dude that?
Torment.
That motherfucker funny, bro.
That's you.
That motherfucker.
I am Torment.
Oh, my God.
He's the big woman here.
He said that shit.
Yo, Black Twitter went crazy.
I really was going to use that forever.
People are white bitches.
Say no more.
That's why this bitch lonely the whole show is not enough black people.
Otherwise, she'd be the baddest bitch in the seven kingdoms.
They don't got no black kingdom.
She can come get a king.
That bitch show up in Harlem.
She's sad.
She wants to think about Jamie for another day in her life.
Maybe Harlow Obama.
Bro, real talk.
Isn't it funny the one dude is ginger?
They're kind of like white people with color.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like the one that ginger dudes.
Gingers?
I would look at gingers as like the extra white people.
Ooh.
Like they're like, they're on the opposite spectrum.
Like, they got to get back to like regular white and then like just ginger white.
Oh, okay, okay.
And albinos is like way past that.
Okay.
I think.
Okay.
It's like Dragon Ball Z is like the yellow hair, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Like, so the Super Saiyans, right?
Like, they'd have like the regular black hair.
Yeah.
And then when they go Super Saiyan, they'd be like, y'all let me know when we want to have conversations with dudes who fuck girls.
Y'all let me know when we want to get back to that.
Y'all just let me know.
It's gonna be a minute.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
I felt like Akash just swept all the bitch sulk under the table for the rest of the day.
So I thought anime was on the table.
I thought we could just talk about it.
No mention of many bitches.
No, I was just saying, like in Dragon Ball Z, like the stronger you get, as I say, the hair gets longer and changes colors and shit.
So that's how I felt about white people.
If you're albino, it's just like ginger, the strongest.
You get wrong.
That's what the Vikings and shit look like.
I got to say this one thing about Game of Thrones.
I don't feel bad at all about how do I phrase this?
Fuck nerds.
This is why I fuck nerds.
This is why I fuck nerds because our whole life, they've made us feel like we should pity them and feel bad for them.
And every movie is about, oh my lord, you know, these poor nerds.
Life must be so hard, social outcasts, right?
These last two weeks, I've been tingling with excitement about Game of Thrones, right?
And this is how nerds have lived their entire fucking nerdy lifestyle.
I've never been this happy in my whole life.
I get the same thing.
I'm 35 years old, and I haven't experienced this happening.
They experience it every fucking week with some other nerd shit, super Saiyan.
So we've been feeling bad for them this whole time.
Fuck girls.
I haven't thought about pussy once this week.
The one time I thought about pussy was when Arya Stark tried to put that screep busting pussy on Gendry and we were disgusted about it.
Repulsed.
Speak for yourself.
Yo, we said it on Western Rose.
We were like, a girl has no age.
You know, that's what she said to dude.
Dude was like, how old are you?
A girl has no age.
Let me see your needle.
Oh, boy.
Anyway, check out Western Rose, by the way.
Akash was on this last app.
We had fun, man.
Two in the morning, we recorded.
Oh, dude, it was wild.
Yeah, it was like, but Kaz, we got to get you, I think, when it's done.
We got to get Kaz.
I'm fucking with it.
For the last episode, that'd be hot.
I mean, it was the Battle of Winterfell this week.
Oh, yeah.
That's going to be weird.
Whatever y'all want me on, man.
Yo, this is the.
You're talking about best time of the year, NBA playoffs.
Do you give a fuck about the draft?
That's coming.
And Game of Thrones and Avengers all this week.
Oh, dog.
I've been walking around with my dickheart about the Avengers, bro.
Like, all week.
All week.
Alex just left your ass.
I don't care.
Y'all were nerdy.
I don't know.
Care color and all that kind of shit.
It wasn't just.
I do not care.
It wasn't just the way you said it.
It was the way you gazed at nothing.
I wanted to say that.
Honestly, because here's the thing, right?
Because tomorrow they're having a screening for it.
Like, if you're invited to a Disney's having a screen one in New York, no.
So I'm sitting here just so you can't.
Say why you're not invited.
Do you want to go?
Hell yeah.
I got you.
You're going?
Yeah, I got you.
Did that ask?
Yeah, I'll bring you to it.
Bro, I love you so much.
Yeah.
The fuck?
I'm Andrew Schultz, bro.
Hell yeah.
Did y'all forget who I am?
I forgot your fucking famous thing so much.
No, fuck him.
I don't want to do it too.
Oh, man, we just drive Dallas and shit to watch it out there in Nashville, wherever the fuck you're going.
He just left me off the driveway.
We're going to Austin.
Yeah.
One.
This weekend?
I would like the two blacks to fight it out.
And yo, I'll fight you for it.
I'll fight you for it.
Hey, son, imagine when you just put that gun out and be shot.
I don't fucking do this.
This went from Avengers to Ingori's bastard.
What's happening with Django?
This guy, Django, real fast.
Yo, I'm not comfortable looking at Andrew as Leonard DiCaprio.
Oh my god.
Oh my God.
Just like Django, this is not real.
I do not have tickets.
God damn it.
Well, anyway, that's what I was gazing at.
I was waiting for an important text to deal with.
Who is it?
Charlamagne has a screening?
Because he does.
No, he has a screening.
You know, Zillow, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He does have a screening, but Disney's having a screening.
So, like, he's trying to...
Organize some shit.
Yeah.
No, that is a hot ticket.
I don't even think they should screen it.
Who gives a fuck?
That's what the bloggers have to say.
Just put it out.
Django Unchained Chaos00:05:24
That's what I thought.
I didn't think they were having screenings because they didn't have for an Infinity War.
Nah.
It was just like, boom, here's the movie.
So why do you think they're screening this?
I don't know.
But it's two days before the movie drops.
So it's like, who gives a fuck?
Create hype.
More hype, probably.
But is it possible to have more hype?
There's no way to make him more hype.
I'm worried it's not going to live up to the hype because there's so much.
Maybe, but why do you think Akashi would do this screener?
I think it's just probably force of habit.
I don't think they're smart enough to realize that.
But they didn't for the last one.
Yeah, they didn't do it for the Infinity War.
Yeah, they would just, they just put the pitch out, put the bitch out.
Do you think, and maybe this is, do you think that they feel like Game of Thrones has soaked up some?
See, didn't think of that.
Didn't think of that.
Great point.
Great theory.
I believe it.
I believe it.
I'm sorry.
And you need to put out the commercials with the, you know, five stars from yada, yada, yada.
And then like, not only is this going to make a shit ton of money because they know, I feel like they need to get like the critical.
Yeah, I feel like, because, like, you know, this year, like, Black Panther won Oscars and shit.
And like, now, like, superhero movies, when they get like that Oscar buzz, too.
So, like, not, they're, they're not, I don't think they're concerned with making money.
I think they want people to get it.
They know they're going to make that movie.
Manicure your nails, man.
Shiny.
Yeah, they're nice.
You put on the polish?
Yeah, I got the polish, too.
I did my toes, too.
All right.
You did your toes?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
They look like dragon glass.
They actually look really nice.
They actually look really nice right now, bro.
Yo, take out your fucking toes.
Yo, they actually look really nice right now.
Dude, bust out.
That's really nice.
Relative, really nice dude.
Take out that shit.
That's what they usually look like.
Did I look at that?
Yeah, let's look at your bro.
Let me see.
Let me see.
That's crazy, dog.
It's still disgusting.
Is it gold?
That shit is a you got a color on your toes.
Nah, just clear nail bottom.
So that's just what color your toes are.
Damn, bro.
That is disgusting.
I can't look at it.
That shit make me want to throw up, dog.
You're that shit.
Dude, his foot is completely flat.
I've never seen anything like this.
It is zero arch whatsoever.
I have an arch.
Alex, relax, bro.
Yo, he's like zooming in.
It's bad.
Dude, hold on.
Put your foot down.
Put your toes down.
Put it down like this.
Yeah, yeah, like that.
So look at Eden.
This motherfucker is tough, dog.
You don't know the horrors he's seen in Mexico.
Horrors are horrors.
You got a cartel foot, fam.
I bet if the cartel is going to chop that shit off, they'd be like, you know what?
You keep it.
Just pay us back whenever.
This is naughty.
You know, this is an upgrade for me.
This is good.
It's all one shade down here.
This is nice.
I'm not used to this.
Yo, people are going to puke what they say.
Hell.
Bro, no arch.
Whatsoever, bro.
No arch.
Where was the arch?
Nothing.
Oh, gosh.
I'm a big dude, bro.
Huh?
Big guys don't really have arches like that.
So it collapses?
No, it doesn't collapse.
You're just flat-footed a little bit.
You think?
I'm flat-footed.
No, I mean, I guess I'm not an arch.
I was always a two-foot jumper, too, so I never needed the arch.
Oh, like that.
Spring.
Yeah.
All right, fine.
Jump with the quads.
Now that we're thoroughly disgusted, shall we get into some deportitos?
Ah, yes.
Let's pay a bill before we get into it.
Perfect.
Perfect time to try.
Get a little baby bladder.
A little baby bladder or not?
I'll force one out.
Yes, I force one out.
That's what she said.
What?
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Blue Chew Promo Code00:15:20
Let's talk about, let's talk about these playoffs.
Let's talk about.
There's so much to talk about.
I mean, it is sexy.
So much to talk about.
I'll say it.
The playoffs are better without LeBron.
Yo.
Yeah.
Playoffs are better without LeBron.
And here's the reason why.
I understand people are going to go, oh, the ratings are down 23%.
Of course, because casual fans are not as engaged because they don't have their casual fan icon, which is the most popular player in the league, LeBron James.
I get it.
But the quality of play is better.
And I'll tell you why it's better, especially in the Eastern Conference.
Especially.
Especially in the Eastern Conference, because every team thinks they got a chance now.
Because they do.
When LeBron was in it.
The inevitability of LeBron going to the Eastern Conference finals is gone.
It's gone.
So now every team is scrapping.
The Nets are scrapping, right?
Every team is scrapping because they're like, oh, shit.
It can go down.
We can make it to the fucking.
And then once you're in the finals, it's like.
It's anybody's ball game.
King is gone.
Throne is open.
Let's go.
They did that.
I don't know what I said, but I got to say some shit.
They did that.
I think it's better without LeBron.
I mean that sincerely.
We get to focus on different relationships and different dynamics, one of which, which has been wildly entertaining, has been Dame Russ.
It's been a great slingshot effect.
I'm sorry.
Like, as far as before we get into Dame Russ, the slingshot effect of not having LeBron, like, yeah, the rating's going to suffer a little bit, but like now you're creating all these new mega stars.
They're already stars like basketball nerds, but like this is the first time like the general public is really seeing Giannis and how good he is, really seeing how much LeBron focus on everyone else.
Exactly.
Because LeBron takes so much focus.
He takes so much of my focus.
Of course.
I'm in between a casual fan and y'all.
So I watch, but I'm not like a junkie.
Yeah.
I'm paying attention to LeBron.
LeBron is gone.
Damon Russ.
What's going on?
Yep.
What's happening to Billy?
What's happening in Austin?
What's happening in Milwaukee?
It's the best thing that happened to the NBA because one, if LeBron gets back to the playoffs next year, it's going to be another Reigns Bonanza.
And two, the Lee's in great hands when he's gone.
You know what I mean?
Not like when Jordan left.
Exactly.
Like when Jordan left, there was nobody.
Now you have these other guys that you've promoted.
It worked out perfectly.
It really worked out 100% perfectly.
And if we can move to Damon Russ, I would love to.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
This has been, first of all, Dame is a bully.
Dame has been bullying Russ, bro.
He's been bullying Russ.
It has been because Dame is playing Deion Russ.
Russ is not playing Deion Dame.
He's switching.
He's switching.
Russ has, to Russ's credit, he has a lot more things to worry about as far as getting the team involved and getting rebounds and all this other shit.
That's just his game.
That's how they play.
But Dame is taking the challenge of like, oh, I'm going to stop you.
And I'm going to drop buckets on you.
And he's not locking him up per se, though.
This last game, I think, in the second half, Russ was one for seven or oh for seven in the second half.
Yeah, he didn't shoot that great.
He did not shoot that great.
And there are guys on OKC that need to hit shots.
And Paul George is hurt too.
But he's Paul George is hurt.
There are things that are going down.
But as far as one-on-one play, Dame is bullying Russ.
He has a look on him.
When Westbrook is guarding him, that you only see from the super greats, where it's just like, food, you are food.
MVP, I don't give a fuck how many MVPs are.
Russ might have activated something and Dame with all that shit talk.
That little clip because you know, I said Dame is better than Kyrie.
You did.
And Twitter was hating, still trying to hate a little bit.
Still trying to hate.
I'm going to get to that too in a little bit.
But before the playoffs started, one or two people sent me the GIF of Russ, the video Russ saying to Dame.
I've been busting that ass for years, for years.
I think Dame caught wind of that, heard all the two sweeps in a row shit, 10 straight playoff losses, and was like, something switched.
He was like, fuck.
I bet.
That you ever been to a place where you're just like, yo, fuck all of that.
I think that's where Dame is.
There's no real joy after a win.
It's just, we're still going.
I'm not done.
And the reason why I think with the Blazers and the Thunder is that I don't think the Thunder play best when Russell Westbrook is playing his best.
They play best when Paul George is the dude.
The Blazers play best when Dame Lillard is doing exactly what he's doing right now.
That's just going nuts, pulling from wherever, getting to the rim, then CJ McCollum gets going.
Now they got this post-presence with Ennis Cancer and all these other guys.
Barkley's been going hard saying like, yo, they're going to the finals.
And I'm not one to say like he sounds crazy saying it because they match up really well against the Warriors.
I think they're going to get the Thunder out of here.
Oh, they ain't going to the finals.
I think they're going to get to the finals.
You think the Spurs and the Nuggets are taking them down?
Because that's their second round matchup.
The second round match?
I've been at Western Conference finals.
Western Conference finals.
Barkley said they're going to the finals.
I said, I'm not, I don't think Western Conference finals.
I can see them in Western Conference finals.
But Golden State's beating them.
There's no way.
It's not even a question.
But go on, go on.
That's just what I was going to say.
Their second round matchup is not.
It's going to be the Nuggets of the Spurs.
That's not that crazy.
Second round is also going to be Rockets, Warriors.
You can't just breeze through Pop.
They can beat each other up.
You can't just breeze through Pop.
He'll figure out a way.
He'll figure out a way to make it a series.
He'll clip off some games.
And, dude, we're sleeping on San Antonio like they don't have really good pieces.
Who the fuck is Derek White?
I'm not even talking about the no-name guys that we're finding out about.
I'm talking about the core.
They still have.
Devontae Rosen is not a scrub.
DeRosan, all-star.
Marcus Aldrich.
Aldridge, all-star.
And they have a very capable playoff quality player in Rudy Gay.
You cannot teach 6'9.
Patty Bills also.
For sure, for sure.
But I'm just talking about the guys who are hovering around Elite.
Gotcha.
You cannot teach 6'9 and can shoot.
Without a doubt, Rudy Gay can get you a decent shot at the end of the game.
No matter what.
Somebody put out, somebody had like a poll of like your favorite non-all-star, very good players.
Rudy Gay.
And Rudy Gay is up there.
Like, he's in the same vein of a J.R. Smith.
Depending on who you look at, Rudy's going to give you 20-point games in the playoffs.
There's always a spot for somebody on a playoff team that could get you 20 at the moment's notice.
Paul Milsap.
Paul Milsap, playoff Paul Milsap, takes the fucking season off, and then wins you a playoff game per series by himself.
And I don't know if Rudy's as good, but Rudy can break out a game.
And on top of that, he's not asked to do much.
He's never asked to do too much.
Just come and give us a shot.
Just come and get us some buckets, yo.
That's it.
Whatever you get.
If you get hot, you'll stay in for 30 minutes.
That's it.
And get it going.
But like, DeRose is the guy.
Derek White, exactly, whoever the fuck Derek White is.
Devil Hardy is a motherfucker all of a sudden.
Two 30-point games.
That's it.
I think 36 in game.
He had the one big breakout where everybody's like, who the fuck is this kid?
So if you get that, if you get that from the role players, I mean, that's one thing people always say, right?
Is like playoff games are often won by role players because the stars on each team mitigate each other.
Yeah.
And nobody has better role players and any other team in the league than the Spurs.
And that's been their history.
They lost the money.
And they by far have the best coach.
That's a good point guard at the beginning of the year.
What's his name?
They lost Deontay Murray?
Oh, yeah.
They lost him.
And I think Lonnie Walker said.
How do you say his name?
Is it DeJounte or Deontay?
I don't know.
I usually assume with black people that Jay is silent.
So it's Deontay.
Yo, I love Michael Orton, bro.
You know, I like Uon Howard.
You love Uhon Howard, bro.
I love Ulon Howard all the time.
Bro, I was listening to a song about Michael Axon the other day, bro.
That song was amazing, dude.
I think Emmy Butler put that on his Instagram.
Oh, yeah, Emmy?
Yeah, he's been doing it.
And the playoffs are not missing LeBron Ames at all, bro.
But yeah, on top of that, they got very popular.
Back into the conversation.
So ump, jump, anyway.
Ump, back.
I thought he said unpack.
I thought you said that.
So, okay, back to where we were.
We have an interesting series.
I think it's pretty apparent that the Rockets get out of here unscathed.
I think that Golden State gets out of here unscathed.
Gentleman sweep.
Gentleman's sweep.
I think that OKC is done next game.
I think it's a gentleman's sweep as well.
Yeah.
And I think it could be interesting between Denver and what are we at right now?
It's two all the way.
It's two ball.
And I think Denver has a very sneaky, not even sneaky good.
They have a very good home court advantage.
So I think they take one of the next two games.
So it either goes six or seven with the Spurs and the Nuggets.
Like you have, you can't.
The Spurs, like we said before, they're a team with great role players.
So you're never just going to knock them out.
Like you have to, if they're on the ropes, they'll usually come back.
So six games or seven games is where I got it with Denver and San Antonio.
Who you think taking it?
I think the Spurs might get it.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm like, dog, like, I don't, I don't, I don't bet against pop, bro.
Like, I don't bet against.
If you've already got two on you, like, make a big difference in the playoffs, and they got both.
Like, ask yourself how many coaches you take in the best of three in the entire NBA.
Yeah.
Not many over Pop.
No.
Especially in the first round.
So, I mean, who knows?
And if you see them, and if they match up against Portland or OK, that'd be a good series, too.
That'd be a very good series.
I'd like to see it.
I think Portland can make it to the conference finals.
And I think, I don't think they beat the Warriors, but I think they give them trouble.
I think they match up really good with the Warriors.
Just because, you know.
What about the Rockets?
If the Rockets can take the Warriors.
I think the Rockets are only.
Do we think that's possible?
You know, Dame wants that Steph matchup.
Dame wants it.
Kane loves it right now, though.
He wants it so bad.
I hope this is his dirt year for the first time.
Listen, that dirt 2011 year where it's just like, whatever, man.
I'm the best player.
Dave Lillard goes through like the murderous row of point guards.
Like, you take out Westbrook, you take out fucking Pop or whatever or Jamal Murray, and you take out either Curry or Harden at the playoffs, and they go to the finals.
I don't want to hear him being underrated ever again.
Like, just admit we're sleepy and he plays in Portland, and we fall asleep before we get to watch him.
Yeah, there's nothing underrated about that dude.
Like, he's been a beast like this.
And real talk, if you got to choose between, if you're a casual fan, I'm going to watch the Warriors on the West Coast time or the Blazers.
Of course, I'm watching the Warriors.
That's why we don't realize how good Dame is.
And even then, a lot of people just end up watching the Lakers.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's all the same time zone.
That's a waste of your time.
Even though they suck, people will watch them.
Okay, let's check out Eastern Conference.
Yeah, let's check that out, man.
Because I think the Rockets, I think both 4-5s got very lucky with their matchups in both conferences.
Rockets, Jazz.
The Jazz are a week five.
And I think Salt Takes Pacers without Olaj Depot.
People keep telling me Kaz posed this dumb shit about Kyrie's winning side of the playoffs.
They're playing the Pacers without Ola Depot.
They haven't had Ola Depot for most of half the season.
They still manage to get it.
In the second half of the season, they dropped from a 2-3 seed to a 5.
It was only separated by a few games.
Look at those 2-3 seeds.
Sure.
In the playoffs, though, it's closing time.
You need a winner.
I don't know.
Who's Kyrie cooking up real hard right now?
Who's the playoffs, the point guard for the Pacers?
Beats the fuck out of me.
And Kaz knows ball.
But you got to understand.
I know people say, like, oh, well, LeBron won a lot of those games.
Yo, Kyrie won a lot of those games, too, especially game seven in the finals, like the championship series.
Yeah, LeBron got the block.
Kyrie's the one who hit the shot.
And he had like 40 that game, too.
So we didn't just steamrolling into the ballot.
Nobody questions Kyrie's ability.
Nobody questions how many points that he can score in a game on a game.
I would never question his offensive ability.
What we question is how effective he is being the leader of a team.
Seems to be pretty effective.
We'll see.
I think they go up against Milwaukee, and I think that Kyrie is going to go up against Milwaukee against a very tough point guard.
Excuse me.
I've got these hiccups.
The fuck is his name?
Eric Bledzo.
You know, Eric could have.
Eric Bledsoe and Holboy comes back, rookie of the year a couple years ago.
Very steady dude, Virginia.
I forgot his fucking name.
He won rookie of the year.
Like, he wasn't that big fucking.
Please look him up.
I forgot his name.
He plays for the Bucs.
And he's coming back from injury?
From injury.
I think it was like his toe or some shit.
Malcolm Brogdon.
Malcolm Brogdon.
Very, very good point guard.
Averages like 16 a game, like very solid.
Brogdon plays like a two.
Both.
He's a couple of defensively.
You know what's interesting, though, real quick about Kyrie going up against an Eric Bledsoe.
Eric Bledsoe is a very strong.
Yeah, he's a deniably strong and athletic point guard.
Now, I don't think that anybody can stay in front of Kyrie.
But I think you can wear Kyrie down on the other side as well.
Yes.
And if Kyrie is going to match up with Eric, he's going to be chasing Eric around.
And I think they should run Kyrie's ass and pick and roll all fucking.
Post him up every once in a while.
Just bully him.
I'm sure you can.
I think that's how you wear down Kyrie.
I think you cannot stop him offensively.
You just try to contain.
But the way that you do it is you go at him because he is not a good defender, one.
And two, he will get tired and his body will break down.
He is not a solidly built NBA player.
We know he's capable of injury.
And you have a team in Milwaukee that has several guys that you can attack, put on attack mode on a pick and roll switch, right?
Obviously, Jonas, right?
But Chris Middleton, have him chasing Chris Middleton for the closeouts.
Nobody wants to close out every single play.
And Kyrie is one of those lazy type of defenders where he's just going to half-ass close out with his handout.
Chris Middleton's another guy.
He could win you a playoff game by himself.
Knockdown.
Knockdown.
Absolutely.
So I am really curious about this series, and I don't think that the Boston Celtics make it out a lot.
I don't either.
I'm not sold that Milwaukee wins.
I am not completely sold on Milwaukee yet.
I just think they don't have any experience this round or after when they meet Boston.
I'm not positive they beat Boston.
Okay, they're winning against Detroit.
But one thing that could be interesting, Kyrie, I think, could have problems with Bledsoe because Bledsoe's just kind of a dog.
He could cook him.
He could.
But you know who cooked Bledsoe last year?
Terry Rozier.
That's very true.
Is it possible?
Is it possible?
Terry Rozier is just a better matchup for Bledsoe.
And then how does that sit with Kyrie if they win the series?
Because Terry Rozier comes and cooks Bledsoe.
So maybe he will get cooked.
I mean, there's no way Terry Rozier is more effective offensively than Kyrie.
I just felt like, I felt like Bledsoe would be a stressful person to play against.
I would assume so.
But if Terry just broke it, one thing we're not playing to account, and I do think the Bucs take it to the second round.
I also think that this Boston Celtics team matches up best with Milwaukee because Giannis is probably the best player available in the entire Eastern Conference.
Rozier vs Bledsoe Matchup00:05:05
And they got three wings that will make life not hard for Giannis, but he's going to have to make him work.
It's a good play.
Like Gordon Hayward's been hooping again.
Has he?
He had 20 points last night, and he played pretty well in this series.
So you have Hayward.
You got Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum.
And I'm not against putting Horford on Jonas Everton.
Those are four guys that Giannis is going to, he guards all five positions.
Those are four guys that could get buckets on you and is going to make you work hard.
And Giannis has an incredible motor.
He's a freak of nature as far as athletically.
But there's nobody else left in the Eastern Conference that's going to give him that much trouble on defense.
I think Toronto because of Kawhi.
Yeah, Kawhi, but he's just one guy is what I'm saying.
They have Pascal Texas.
But Pascal Siakam is also really good.
This is interesting.
Teams in the East, this is something that we're finding out.
And I think it lends itself to the past culture.
It probably lends itself.
But teams in the East are preparing for Giannis.
They got to.
Now, Giannis is just a more athletic version of LeBron.
But the reason why you draft a guy like Pascal Siakam is because you're like, okay, I need someone who could bang and defend LeBron.
The reason why you have...
I mean, Pascal Siakam has played like a very, very poor man's Giannis this past this whole season.
He had fucking, he dropped 30 or something this past week.
He's who's saying same type of game, same rangey long.
You know, I mean, he could hit a little jump shot, but he gets to the cup and he finishes over everybody.
Like, he's very good defensively.
He's scrappy.
He's a perfect, he's a perfect compliment for Kawhi Lennon.
I didn't anticipate him coming to the season being this good, this fast.
It's going to be tough.
The road to the finals is not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all interesting.
And I'm not sure.
I'm not sure that Philly.
I'm not sure Brooklyn doesn't come back and take another game.
Like, I think Philly is...
And Bede's knee scares me or his leg because he's just not, he's not healthy.
If you watch him, dog, like, he looks like he looks like Patrick Ewing.
He's only like 23 years old.
You can't trust his knee.
He can't trust his legs at all, man.
And he's talking a lot of shit.
Jared Dudley, you can tell he's going to give him one.
The next game is do or die.
Like, if they don't get into something or like he has a big old target on his leg, I'm not saying go after his leg.
Nobody wants to see anybody hurt.
But the dude just fucking pretty much laughed at your face about Albo in your center.
I think even if they take a game, though, Sixers win, right?
Sixers win in six or seven.
They stole game five in that order.
I'm saying they'll take it, but like, it's not going to be easy.
Second round.
Raptors beat these.
I think so.
I think it's.
And then Raptors make it to the finals.
That was my pick to make it to the finals.
Yeah, I think Raptors end up beating Milwaukee.
Well, okay.
Raptors beat Milwaukee if Kyle Lowry plays decently.
If Kyle Lowry plays like how Kyle Lowry plays in the playoffs, which is, you know, goes, goes, gets pussy.
Yeah.
Then I think Milwaukee makes it out.
But I think the whole thing hinges on Lowry.
If Lowry can be somewhat effective, you don't have to be, I don't need 30 points from you.
16 and 8.
Yeah.
You drop 16 and 8 on decent shooting.
You guys make it to the finals.
You guys make it to the final.
And then when we're, listen, we're in the finals and it's Golden State in Toronto.
That was my pick.
I don't know if Golden State.
I said Golden State wouldn't win it just because.
I think that's a decent matchup, though.
I think Pascal and Kawhi can give those wings problems.
The thing is, this is like we go back to...
Now, I know we don't know, and I know that you have Kevin Duran and it throws a whole wrench in the system, but you can't stop but go back to the Spurs Golden State game one before Kawhi goes down.
Yeah.
Who's dominating?
They were dominating that.
2020.
And he was just destroying everything.
And it's like, what the fuck?
And you can tell Kawhi's had that lasered, like, yo, I want that.
We got to run that back.
Run that.
I think Marcus Oll helps them a lot.
I think he's a huge get for them.
Listen, think about Marcus Saul on the block with Bogot now.
Oh, that's food.
It's not cousins.
First of all, that's food for them.
But if they play small ball, if Golden State plays small ball and Draymond, 6'7 Draymond, is on the block with a legit center.
Legit all-star center.
Legit all-center.
Meaning, like moves.
He's gonna score, shoot over you.
Plays defense.
The best thing he could do is get foul trouble on Draymond.
And then what happens?
If Draymond's in foul trouble, then what?
It's a way more interesting series than the average viewer believes it will be.
Of course.
It is a competitive series.
I think you obviously give the edge to Golden State, but there are factors at play here that get me very excited.
Yeah.
Very excited.
I think Toronto sneaks a game early.
Maybe not game one, but I think game two.
Toronto sneaks a game in the game.
Toronto could win the whole fucking thing, man.
NHTSA Safety Warning00:03:30
I know.
Everybody says I hate on Toronto last year.
I didn't believe.
I believe this year.
Lowry scares me.
I hope I love him.
He walks just like little Duval.
I got a soft spot for him in my heart.
He got a Duval body.
But I think they could do it, man.
I'm a big Kawhi believer, maybe to a fault.
I think it'd be the MBP last year.
I love Kawhi.
I think Kawhi is an amazing player.
I think when he's on, there's nobody in the East better than him.
Like, I think Giannis has played the best in the Eastern Conference, but when Kawhi is on, nobody could touch him offensively or defensively.
That being said, the Warriors still got Kevin Durant, though.
Like, he's the great fucking equalizer.
When Steph don't got it going, when Clay's a little off, if Dre's in foul trouble, they still got that seven-footer that they give it to and can do anything.
And the way he's fucking feeling himself this postseason with the, I'm Kevin Durant, you know who the fuck, you know who I am type of shit.
I haven't watched any Warriors games because it's a waste of my time.
Let me ask you this.
I got two Warriors questions, though, that since y'all watch more, you can answer, but do you want to pay a bill first?
Yes.
All right, let's go.
Let's go for it.
Let's do that.
Let's pull that up.
Okay, we're going to pay some real shit right now, bro.
We're not playing around.
Okay.
Guys, it can be a little frustrating, especially if you're in a hurry or running late, to find yourself at a railway crossing waiting for a train.
Okay?
Just let me paint this visual for you.
Now, the signals are going and the train's not even there yet.
So you might feel tempted to cross that street, cross that walk, to just run, to go for it, sneak across those tracks.
Well, listen, don't you ever do that.
Trains are often going a lot faster than you expect them to be, Alex.
And you know what?
If there's anything that Denzel Washington taught us, they can't stop.
There was a whole movie.
It took like two hours to stop the train.
I think the movie was literally called Unstoppable.
Do you guys remember that one?
He was also Columb 123.
That's another train.
This guy's the worst.
Even if the engineer hits the brakes right away, it can take a train over a mile to stop.
And by that time, what used to be your car is just a crushed hunk of metal.
And what used to be you, well, hey, better not think about that.
The point is, you can't know how quickly a train will arrive.
The train can't stop even if it sees you.
The results are disaster.
So if the signals are on, the train is on its way.
And you just need to remember one thing.
Stop.
Because trains can't.
This is brought to you by NHTSA.
Okay.
The National Highway Trans Authority, I think it's called.
Traffic Safety.
National Highway Traffic Safety.
Man, I really made that shit.
National Highway Trans Association.
Trans Association.
All you Trannies on the Highway.
But I really milked that shot.
Did you guys feel that?
Did you feel like you were in the car?
Did you feel like you were waiting for the train?
I felt scared just now.
I was like, I thought there was like, I thought a joke was coming.
I was like, oh, nah, this is what I'm doing.
Nah, bro.
We don't take this shit seriously.
It's all about trains.
Push that door closed for us, Hector.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
All right, two goal to say questions.
Go.
KD Defense Pressure00:06:16
Number one, I read on ESPN that Draymond Green lost 23 pounds in six weeks to get in shape for the playoff run.
Yeah.
Do you buy into that and proving his game at all?
No.
I don't either.
Why don't I?
Because it's really hard to lose that many pounds that quickly.
Yeah, why are you losing this many pounds?
I'm confused.
That's a lot of weight.
Maybe he just gained a lot of weight during the season and now he's back to regular weight.
Is he in a contract here?
No, but if he makes all defense, I think he gets some sort of, he's eligible for a Supermax.
Sorry, he ain't getting no Supermax.
I wouldn't even max him out.
I'll be honest with you.
He played like dog shit this year.
And they were fine.
Do you think he's going to play well in the post?
Like, that just seemed, it just, it's also, it was just a weird story to me.
Like, why you just get in shape in January in February or March?
Look how fucking good the Warriors are.
It's like, you know what?
I think I'm just going to be in half good shape for 60 games.
Don't you think that catches up at some point, though?
Yeah.
They're not trying.
And it might catch up in the playoffs.
It really might.
Stan Van Gundy's been like really big on that this entire postseason.
It's like Stan.
Stan.
Yeah.
Stan.
Yeah, he was on ESPN.
He was talking about like, yo, like the Warriors are so, they play so arrogantly.
They've just been like getting away with making just fundamentally terrible like defensive mistakes, like rotation-wise, like really like big coach speak and shit like that.
And he was saying like he was another one who's like, I'm not sold on them getting back to the finals.
He thinks the Blazers and the Rockets match up really well with them.
Those teams that you got to defend throughout the entire game.
You can't just bullshit with them like the Clippers and all that stuff.
And you bullshit with the Clippers.
You lost the game at home.
So he was like, if they get that arrogance get away with them, I think he said something along the lines of like boogie going down like sucks for them.
But he said it was probably the best thing for that team because they were just kind of getting by on talent and not playing team defense that they usually used to do when they went when they made their finals run.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't necessarily don't agree with them.
They've been pretty arrogant.
All you there's a this dude on the ticket hates like, how arrogant they play.
And he went through and did like his own little research and he went through all the dynasties and looked at the final years they won championships where they should be the fattest.
They had like.
He went through their whole wins and losses, zero, 20 point losses at home for the Bulls, the Lakers in their last year, the Spurs the last year they won a championship the Warriors they had some 20 point losses all on the road.
The Warriors have had five or six 20 point losses at home this year.
Yikes, which is like you just don't give a fuck.
And it's hard Shaq said it too.
It's hard to flip a switch and that's coming from the number one, flip a switch, motherfucker i've seen in my lifetime.
Yeah, he didn't.
He didn't flip a switch until like after the all-star break and it caught him cruise.
Yeah, that's why Kobe hated him.
Like he would come into the season fucking all out of shape and shit and Kobe just rest.
You just had a toe injury for like two months.
You know what I mean.
Like and mind you, Kobe Bryan's a fucking maniac and training like a psycho all season and like everyone's like oh, this is Shaq's team, Shaq's the man, and Kobe's like dude, like this guy doesn't even give a fuck.
He doesn't give a fuck till, like march.
I'm not saying they're for sure gonna lose because they're so overwhelmingly talented.
You have to pick them right.
But i'm not i'm saying I don't think they're gonna win and uh, I think that's why it's.
I think they're one bad, not even injury, but like you know, they could.
They could get a little dinged up, like yeah, that's been, that's been their achilles here for the past couple seasons.
Like he'll get dinged up a little bit.
He won't miss a game but he'll still play, but he'll be kind of going half speed.
He can't really guard nobody.
You know i'm saying that happens to one of their main guys and literally anybody in the west could take it.
Second question I have, is Kd the best player in the league?
If so, do we care he is?
Do we care if he is?
Yeah, you know who the best player might be.
I mean it's Lebron.
But outside of Lebron, I don't even think i'm.
I don't.
I think it's Steph Man.
I think Stephaner, they need Steph more on that team.
Stuff's definitely the most important player on that team, like he's definitely the keys to that car I.
I really think he is the best player because what he does is so dynamic.
I'm not as worried about Kd hurting me off the dribble.
Yeah, i'm not as worried.
I'm not saying he can't do it, but i'm not as worried.
I think Steph is as effective shooting off the dribble or running around screens and as effective going to the basket off the dribble and finishing at the rim.
It's he puts so much pressure on your defense.
It is unbelievable what you have to do to deal yeah, with stuff like when you looked at the way Clippers were playing them.
They were just denying the three-point line.
They were like hey, we'll give you the lane, we'll give you twos, we're just denying a.
But outside, like we've shifted the whole conventional wisdom of basketball yeah, you know, you know who, you know who.
He kind of reminds me of Steph To to kind of switch sports a little bit.
Steph important to the game.
Barry Sanders is a close comparison.
I was thinking, like Drew Brees, like Drew, like he has such a.
He plays so downhill that once he gets going it's hard to Stop.
Everybody just fucking goes crazy.
Like, KD isn't a huge ball stopper, like the way Mello is, but when he gets it going, like, you kind of got to stop the ball for him.
Yeah.
But when Steph gets it going and he's taking shots like three seconds into the fucking shot clock and then like everybody else is getting open shots and he's pulling and all that shit.
Like there's nothing you can do.
He's a much better defender though.
Of course.
Definitely.
He offers more on defense and that's undeniable.
And having a guy with that wingspan closing out changes the trajectory of shots.
It's a different game.
Don't get me wrong.
But I think what Steph offered outside of his shooting, just what the pressure he puts on a defense makes it so much easier for everybody there.
And not just the pressure on the defense.
He just changes the pace of the game.
Like, the reason why I compare him to Drew Brees is because Drew Brees plays so fast and gets everybody involved.
It's not like he just has one go-to guy that he gets it to.
And KD being like the scorer he is, that's like a go-to guy.
Yeah, he just fills up the bucket.
No, Steph.
You know what's crazy about KD?
He hasn't ever played without an elite player.
He's an elite player.
Point guard at that.
But like, he had Russ, who's one of the most athletic players in history, top 10 player in the league.
Now he got Steph and Clay and Draymond.
Steph Curry Pace Change00:15:03
Very lucky.
Very fortunate.
Giannis has never been played.
Giannis is the point guard.
Giannis, everything on that team.
Everybody else is cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He said nothing.
And it'll be interesting to see what happens.
See if they can land some big free agents.
It'll be interesting to see what happens up there in Milwaukee because who doesn't want to play with a guy like Giannis?
Yeah, Giannis has made it clear that he's not going anywhere.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's not.
Maybe he's not going anywhere, but at the same time, he's one of those guys that just doesn't give a fuck about going to LA or New York or none of that shit.
He's like, I'm a basketball player.
I want to play here.
This is the place that gives me the best opportunity to play ball.
Yeah, no, I mean, we're talking about GOATs.
While we're talking about GOATs, why don't we talk about Kate Smith, one of the greatest?
Wow.
I'm with it.
Now, I only saw the clip on first take today, so you got to put me on.
You break it, though, because this is your girl.
So, yeah, this is my girl.
Wow.
Meaning, I did the research.
I read the article.
So apparently, she sang a rendition of God Bless America was Ed.
God Bless America.
That's supposed to be really beautiful.
They played it at all the Flyers games for the Philippines, the NHL, and one other sports team.
And Philly just took down her statue because apparently she got some racist lyrics.
And some people say it's satire, and some people say, who cares?
Or they don't believe that is satire.
So they took down the statue.
My first question is: why does this bitch have a statue?
She's a singer.
It's a fucking hockey team.
Why does she get a statue?
She gets a statue.
Wait, she got a statue.
She got an idiom?
That's it, right?
No, I think it was just in the city.
That's a big bitch.
I ain't nothing but a deal.
She's healthy.
That's a deal before she broke up with her man and found blankets.
Is the big woman here?
That's the statue, right?
That's an ugly statue.
Let's see the statue.
I bet her kids took that shit down.
I am trying to look at this.
Oh, bro.
Yeah, it's outside the flyers arena.
Jesus Christ.
She looks like Winston Churchill.
Why did you give her a statue in the first place?
I don't understand.
You okay?
I had a little hiccups.
So now they just put it in the burka.
Now she's converted.
Converted to Islam.
Remember, you look like a towel, mate?
That's a.
That's what it looks like.
Not look like a towel, though.
That's so stupid.
It's like we don't want to put any attention to this.
Go back to her statue.
So let's just cover it.
Let's go back to her statue.
Giant blankets.
Okay.
Let's just be honest about this statue.
She's an ugly woman.
She's very ugly.
She looks like my dad.
There's an ugly woman statue.
You need an excuse to get rid of it.
You can get rid of any old person statue by just saying they're racist because everyone was racist back in the day, right?
Literally, if you don't want a statue up, just Google something they said back in the day.
It's not racist culture back then.
Exactly.
It's not going to be very progressive.
So it's convenient.
I don't even think it's about the song.
I just think they don't want to sing in Fat Bitch right in front of whatever this park is, right?
Look at the outfit she's wearing.
She's not even dressed for an occasion.
She's wearing a 90.
She looks like a Brollock Christopher Lloyd.
Dude.
Great Scott.
Great Scott.
It's about your kids, Marty.
Great Scott, Philly.
Jesus Christ.
Dude.
Wow, man.
That's a husky bitch.
The city of brotherly love.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I think you just got to get it out of here.
I mean, just because the statue sucks.
Yeah.
Who gives a singer a statue?
Like, you're not Michael Jackson.
Oh, we were supposed to read the Eden.
Okay, I lied to the lyrics.
Yeah, Michael Jackson's statue checked him.
Here's a song that Kate Smith sang.
These are the lyrics.
The title is That's Why Darkies Were Born.
And the first lyric is, Someone had to pick the cotton.
Someone had to pick the corn.
Someone had to slave and be able to sing.
Both of those things.
That's why Darkies Were Born.
Oh my God.
You know what's going to happen?
Somebody's going to cut out the clip of you saying this song.
Are you right?
Without rhythm?
Well, that's why comedian Andrew Schultz.
I feel like this is like, I really do think it could be.
Because I do a good job pretending I didn't know the lyrics by heart.
Shit is so racist.
It's just funny.
No, it could be.
It's so racist.
It's blatant, bro.
It's like, the song's called, That's Why Darkies Were Born.
That's why I think it could be satire because that's the point of satire.
It's to be so over the top that it's like, obviously, a joke.
Sing, sing when you're wary.
Sing when you're blue.
Sing, sing, that's what you taught all the white folks to do.
Sing, that's what you taught all the white folks to do.
You taught the white folks to do that.
Someone had to fight the devil, shout about Gabriel's horn.
Someone had to stoke the train that would bring God's children to green pastures.
That's why darkies were born.
You guys ready for the second song?
There's more songs?
Okay, I'm not reading that.
Don't read that.
Oh, oh, my God.
The Piccadinnies?
What does that mean?
Is that a bad word?
I so boom.
You know, that's a weird ISO boom.
Yeah, exactly.
So, you know, the picnics, they derive from, you know, that's where white people used to take to go watch lynchings.
Like, they would like to make food?
Yeah, yeah.
So the Piccadinnies, that's what.
There you go.
The Pentagon derogatory tone for black children.
What kind of snacks would you bring to that?
Jesus Christ.
Great big watermelons roll around.
Hold on.
So watermelons are really white people's shit?
Holy shit.
No, white people were bringing watermelons to the Piccadini.
Deluscious pork chop bushes growing right outside your doorway.
She's singing about heaven.
Yo, all right.
So heaven is just a bunch of Piccadannies?
No.
She's singing about what heaven is like for a young, a Negro.
Like after you get lynched at the picnic.
Yeah.
Now they got pork chops and watermelons.
That sounds like a great heaven.
So she's trying to say like where you're going afterwards is actually a good she'll be waiting for you in the picaninny.
Oh, there's a piccaninn heaven.
Yeah, that's what she's singing about.
Yeah, she's segregated heaven.
And all black Joe is their Santa Claus.
Yo, this is wildly racist.
How did you get a statue?
Yo, son, I've harked that they've even got a Suwannee River made of lemonade.
Strawberry Lemonade!
Oh, we do love strawberry lemonade.
We do love that strawberry lemonade.
That's a Brett Ernst joke.
Shout out to Brett Ernst.
He had a joke about how he used to work at the Cheesecake Factory, and he goes, Let me tell you something I learned.
Black people love strawberry lemonade.
Then he goes, Their voice literally gets higher when they see it on the menu.
He goes, They got strawberry lemonade!
They got strawberry lemonade!
They got strawberry lemonade!
It's fucking delicious.
It doesn't love strawberry lemonade.
Pour them into these psychos that don't drink strawberry and lemonade.
Yeah, this bitch is wildly racist.
Yeah, you gotta get rid of that.
This bitch right here.
So, what's her version of God Bless America?
It's just a regular version?
God Bless White America.
So, like, Stand Beside her.
That's her song?
No, she had a rendition of it.
How's it sound?
There's like a perfectly good non-racist version of God Bless America.
Why would they use her?
Because you don't know.
That's how everybody's saying that.
Wait, she changed the lyrics to God Bless America?
No, it's just like her version.
Like, Ray Charles's America of the Beautiful is amazing, right?
Another one?
America of the Beautiful.
Don't play it because you know.
Well, she's dead.
She's not going to get no royalties.
Our video might get taken down.
Ah, okay, gotcha.
All right.
Damn, look at her right there, bro.
Yo, that fucking statue is terrifying.
They look racist.
What the fuck?
She's like, nigga.
She's so happy to be racist.
God damn.
Oh, my God.
Look at her scream.
What is she saying?
Go to Cliff.
You read the lyrics.
You know that's what she's yelling, bro.
Pick it in.
What?
There's no reason for you to sing that hard about that.
She's so pissed.
Oh, my God.
Look at this one right here.
That's fucking terrible.
Close your mouth, lady.
Yeah, fuck that bitch.
We call her bitch, right?
Oh, we call that bitch a statue.
There's two exceptions to my bitch rule.
My mom's a little bit more.
Fuck that bitch's statue now.
And it was outside of the financial center.
Wow.
Yo.
Philly trying to act like it's not racist is the funniest shit, though.
It is.
You know, it's hilarious.
It is.
They do front.
Remember the Bill Burt thing about how, like, you got a fucking statue of Rocky.
You could have a statue.
You got a real life.
Frazier is from here.
Yeah.
Like, Rocky's make-believe.
You have a statue, a great fighter from this.
You're so racist.
You can't let him have that.
So you put this fucking five-foot Italian statue in there.
Like, Donovan McNabb's not going to get a statue outside of that.
Not at all.
This bitch sang some cool songs back in the day.
Let's make sure.
How was the voice, though?
Oh, gosh.
Can somebody get the voice up?
It sounds like old-timey music.
It sounds like you play like five seconds of her God bless America.
Just play it off your phone and we can listen to it, not straight.
Alex said it's racist because it don't slap.
If it slapped, we'd be okay with it.
Solid rule, Alex.
That Christmas, though.
About rape.
It's not about rape.
It is.
Chris wants to leave.
Oh, she sang, what you call it?
Maybe it's called.
She does not want to leave.
That song is rapiest voice.
Y'all are wilding, yo.
You mean she doesn't want to leave.
She can't leave.
Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you.
I know you're right, but it's very funny how rapey you sound when you're like, she don't want to leave.
And we're like, yes, you do.
You're like, I don't know.
Y'all don't know.
She wants to leave, bro.
These bitches don't want to leave nobody.
Hold on.
Let me listen to this bitch.
Get your own water fountain.
Ew, it's just.
She doesn't even sing that good.
Yeah.
Is that her God Bless America?
That's terrible.
Like, if it was Adele, I'd be like, for a fat bitch, her voice is mad regular.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, you gotta sing way better than that for being fat.
A size four voice, yeah, exactly.
Are you in shape with that voice?
She's not even singing, she's just talking.
So, a lot of those lyrics we were reading, she was just like yelling about rhythm.
I don't know, man.
I just don't listen.
I don't, the whole taking down statues thing, Alex kind of brought me over to this side.
But I don't care if you take down a statue, but why she have a statue?
Why she have one?
That's why I'm gonna be more picky about who gets statues.
That's a good point.
You can't just give every motherfucker a statue, bitch, sang a song you like.
That just speaks to just how beautifully racist this country is.
I'll give Beyonce a statue in modern America and that's it.
Bruno Maher's got to wait.
I'm not going to fuck you.
Beyonce deserves a statue.
Beyonce gets a status.
Beyonce gets a statue.
Maybe Jay.
A smaller statue than Beyonce.
Yeah.
He cheated.
You know what I mean?
That's what he gets.
Who else gets a statue?
She ain't going to let him have no bigger statues.
Yo, that's the question.
Who deserves statues?
I lives right now.
LeBron in Cleveland definitely deserves a statue.
Without a doubt.
Okay.
Beyonce, Houston, Jay-Z, Brooklyn.
Who else deserves some statues?
Steph Curry in Oakland.
Steph Curry, Oakland.
Absolutely.
Dirk in Dallas.
He might be.
Yo, Dirk got y'all y'all fucking championships.
Dirk for sure gets one.
Dirk.
D. Wade's going to get one in Miami.
I don't think he deserves one.
I don't know about Diet.
He deserves it.
Drake and Toronto.
Drake in Toronto.
Yeah, I can see that.
I don't like that.
Drake deserves one in Toronto.
So Drake deserves one in Toronto and Dwayne Wade doesn't deserve one in Miami.
No.
He's the most winningest athlete in Miami history.
He's getting a statue.
No, no.
He gets one.
He just doesn't deserve it.
He got one.
Dan Marino has a statue.
He can't get one.
He definitely doesn't deserve it.
Dan Marino has zero chips.
I would never give Dan Marino a statue.
We're not saying that everyone who has one deserves it.
Okay.
We're saying that who deserves it.
Does Eli get one?
Oh, that's a good one.
I don't think that.
I don't think he should, man.
I lean toward it.
He shouldn't.
And there's a great argument.
Dirk Jeta.
One second, one second.
Geta for sure.
Of course, of course.
But the Eli one is tricky.
The Eli one is tricky because he did bring you two fucking championships, and he brought them.
But when we're looking at himself and his greatness, man, I don't know.
I don't think so, bro.
He had a lot of help.
And y'all had three rings before that.
That's the other thing.
Y'all had wins before.
That's right.
Now, Dwayne Wade brought Miami there first, but then he got two with the help of LeBron, and the first one he got with the help of Tim Donahy.
So I was like, whatever.
And Shaq.
And Shaq.
Tim Donney and Shaq.
Brady gets one for sure.
Oh, Brady.
Belichick.
Ah, Belichick.
Yeah, Belichick, for sure.
He's getting a statue for you.
Belichick deserves a statue.
Okay, who else?
This is a fun one.
Crafts to get a statue.
We're getting a little hand job from an Asian girl.
Is the video of his dick out yet?
I want to see this.
I think it leaked.
I think it leaked.
I didn't try to take it down.
Funny word choice.
It leaked, all right.
Okay, who else?
Statues.
There's got to be some country singer that needs one, Garth Brooks or some shit like that.
Lil Nas X.
Yes, sir.
He for sure gets one.
Who else?
God damn.
Ronaldo.
He already got one.
Okay.
Oh, Cristiano Ronaldo.
Cristiano Ronaldo already got one.
Yeah, for sure.
Messi getting one.
Messi.
You got to give Messi.
You got to give Messi.
You got to give Messi a statue.
I'm going to be honest, I already feel like we're giving enough away.
I mean, this is in different cities.
It's not like it's all true.
Even on Earth, that's a lot of statues.
There's like a lot of statues.
If there's a racist rat bitch, you get a statue.
Leonardo Messi.
I'm saying starting over.
We're starting over.
No more statues left.
Tim Joel Noon.
He got 100.
He got 1,000 of his own already.
Here's a way you solve that.
Here's a perfect way to solve the too many statues dilemma.
You make holograms.
Make nice little holograms.
And people come and visit.
You can see them in their youthful self.
Like you make the little Tupac hologram.
You make your biggie holograms.
Michael Jackson hologram.
Your little Michael Jackson hologram, all that shit.
You can interact with it.
Put it outside the stadium.
Once you do some racist shit, just turn it off.
Just turn this shit off.
But hey, we can't.
Yo, that's a quick fix, bro.
That's a quick fucking fix, bro.
Like, yo, fuck it.
And then if we ever forgive them, it's like, you know what?
Turn that shit back on.
Y'all had a wedding this weekend.
Dead ass ignition remix was playing.
Dead fucking ass.
What did you react?
Did you dance to it?
Hell yeah.
I had a funny ass joke.
Tupac Hologram Controversy00:14:30
Even though kids allowed at the reception, whatever.
He said that he said he wants to start a business where he edits the R. Kelly songs out of people's wedding videos.
So you got a wedding video that's going to last forever.
And it got this rapist fucking songs all over it.
So he'll just change them out.
He'll switch them out and then you're good.
You can continue watching your video guilt-free.
Yeah.
I can't believe you think Baby is Colds Outside is about rape.
It is about rape.
Fam, rape is rape.
Shoot or shoot.
Rape is rape.
So it's like rapist ain't slowballing that shit.
He already got shorty in the crib.
The bitch do whatever he wants.
So three stanzas how she wants to go home.
He's like, baby.
She didn't say I want to go home.
She goes, I really can't stay.
Baby is cold.
If you say this shit, I really can't stay.
You're just saying, throat me.
Throat me now.
You would say, I'm leaving.
That's, I gotta go.
I'm leaving.
The line is, I gotta get away.
No, it's not.
No, no, but for real, though, I really can't stay.
I'm gonna say this to Defend Andrew.
He's not gonna say this, but like, I've actually seen, like, the song is from a movie, and in the movie, it's like a playful thing where the girl's like smiling.
She's like, I should go.
And it's like in Southern California.
So it's BW.
So the point is.
It's BW.
No, no, it's definitely BW, but also it's like hot outside.
So the song is like a whole, the whole song's a joke.
It's in Cali.
It's in LA.
Obviously, hold that second.
I did not know.
Man, I thought you knew this shit and you were just playing it.
So was Dean Martin.
I didn't really notice at all.
I thought it was really cold outside.
So I think you know what?
No, no, no.
Holy shit.
Are you serious?
Yeah, look this shit up.
Why would you think I landed all this?
Not the lyrics.
Look up the story behind it.
Why would you think I know about this?
Because you usually be researching shit.
You be knowing random shit.
I didn't know about this.
You can't know random shit.
Yeah, but I ain't like these white motherfuckers.
Respect, G. Yo, can we go to the lyrics or damn nah?
This is absolutely, you're absolutely wrong.
It was in New York City.
Yeah.
Look it up.
Look it up.
Which movie?
It's in some movie.
I saw this shit on.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Yo, can you just go to the lyrics so I could read it in different ways?
Oh, there they go right there.
Go to the lyrics.
Real quick, go back up.
No, no, no.
Don't play it.
Go back up.
Okay.
This is Dean Martin, Baby, it's Cole Outside.
Okay.
I'll be the guy.
I'm the guy.
You're the girl.
I'm the girl.
Okay, you're the girl.
You're so gay.
All right, ready to go.
You say you fucking.
Go.
I really can't stay.
Oh, my God.
You got to keep going, son.
You're supposed to go back to the world.
That was your part.
I got to go away.
Ain't my part.
No, you sing a parenthesis.
You sing parentheses.
You sing the non-parentheses.
All right.
All right.
That was me.
Let me take an L on that.
Y'all are fucking crazy for no reason, though.
I really can't stay.
Stay, bitch.
I've got to go away.
Stay, bitch.
The evening has been.
Okay.
But been hoping that you drop it.
Hold on.
This is your pocket.
Yo, that was a chord.
There it is.
That's how it's sung.
Bro, that shit was on how to sing the rape music, bro.
Let's go.
Wait until I get my hand on some R. Kelly.
Let's do it.
All right.
Keep going.
Let's start with it.
Let's do it.
All right.
We're going for it.
We're running it back.
We're running it back.
All right, go.
I really can't stay.
But, baby, it's cold outside.
I've got to go away.
But, baby, it's cold outside.
This evening has been been hoping that you dropping.
You just fucked it up.
Yeah, that's not how it goes about.
I can't.
Kids been hoping you dropped in.
Oh, what's he?
Yeah.
Been hoping.
Wait, how does it go?
It's the same cadence.
It's the same cadence you're doing.
You got the voice.
Go, go.
Bitch ass.
Go, He starts.
No, you need a little gear.
He's a girl.
No, you ain't doing all day.
You're doing that one line.
Been hoping that you'd been hoping you dropping.
So very nice.
I'll hold your hands behind your back and tie them to the bed and then get what I want.
I'll hold it.
My mother will start to worry.
Beautiful.
Baby, what's your hurry?
Oh, y'all know this is.
Y'all know.
That's why it gets the pass because it slaps.
It's a fire, though.
It does slap.
So I ain't gonna hold you out.
First of all, how old is this bitch if her mom is worried?
Maybe it's stat rate.
Maybe it's just fucking Arya Stark out here.
Like, yo, can I just go home?
Oh, Stark had a body.
Okay, stop it.
Stop it.
You need to stop it.
Go look 11.
Aria?
Yeah.
That's so hard.
Okay, but she's 22, so it's whatever.
It's funny.
Beautiful.
What's your hurry?
Hold on, where am I?
My father will be pacing the floor.
My father will be pacing the floor.
Listen to the fireplace roar.
So, really, I'd better scurry.
Beautiful, please don't hurry.
But maybe just a half-drink more.
That's how you know she wants it.
Put some records on while I pour.
The neighbors might think.
Baby, it's bad out there.
Say what's in his drink.
No carbs, babe.
Say what's in his drink.
No cabs had to be out there.
I wish I knew how I was right now.
I wish I knew how I got here.
Nah, this is where it gets raving when you ask about the drink and I'm just making other shit.
Go, So, what's in it?
Say it.
I wish I knew how.
No, no, no.
Say what?
Say what's in this drink.
Hey, there's no cabs out there.
You can't even get a cab out here any day.
I wish I knew how I got here.
Your eyes, like starlight.
Like, real talk eyes are beautiful, man.
This is when the roofies are kicking out.
To break this spell, I mean.
I'll take your hat.
Who's wearing a hat inside?
Next line.
I ought to say no, no, no.
Oh, God.
No.
At least I'm going to say that I tried.
Hey.
Why are you trying to hurt my house?
That's the line.
That's the off-the-hook thing.
Why are you trying to hurt my pride, though?
I really can't stay.
Oh, baby.
Don't hold out.
But, baby, it's cold outside.
Son, this is a sear and sorry.
All right.
This is a sit.
Whatever is there.
Disease and disease, David.
Okay.
I simply must go.
Ready?
Here it is.
This is where it gets crazy.
Go.
My sister will.
Go look at your phone.
Look at the fucking lyrics.
I'm looking at the movie it's from.
Okay.
I simply must go.
But, baby, it's cold outside.
The answer is no.
Oh, God.
No, it ain't.
You're welcome, Hesman.
How lucky that you dropped in.
So nice and warm.
Like your pussy.
My sister will be suspicious.
She could get it too.
My brother will be there at the door.
He could get it.
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious.
Gosh, your lips look delicious.
But maybe just a cigarette more.
Never such a blizzard before.
I've got to get home.
But baby, you'd freeze out there.
Say lend me a coat.
It's up to your knees down there.
You've really been grand.
I thrill when you touch my hand.
But don't you see?
How you gonna do this to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow.
Think I would have been nutted if you stuck my deck.
Like, we already here longer than we need to be.
At least there will be plenty implied.
I got pneumonia, bitch.
That's a funny line.
There'll be plenty implied.
If you got pneumonia and died, yeah, yeah.
You could either get raped or die.
So pick your portion.
That's literally what he said.
Jesus Christ.
God damn, guys.
Guys, listen, I got a pee on that note.
I got to take a nice little pee-piece.
You really can't.
The movie.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Yo, the movie is called Neptune's Daughter.
That's comedy.
You're still trying to be right.
You wrong.
I'm right, bro.
It's getting due in the motherfucking Google.
Of course, you don't have facts out of it.
That's Neptune's daughter.
1949.
That song came out in 1944.
What does that mean?
You're wrong.
No, that's the point they put in the movie.
Yo, read the shit.
First off, he has a whole like 50 suit on.
There's no way.
He's just in the movie.
There's no way it's hot out.
Look at him.
That does not look playful at all.
Just look at the screenshot.
You can pull up the screenshot.
Does that look playful to you?
She's like, Jesus Christ, please get away.
That's that alt-left shit.
Oh, my gosh.
Yo, she's trying to get away.
Look.
You don't even got to play the...
Yo, this is wild.
What does the opinion piece say?
Why rewriting baby?
It's cold outside.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, there's no way we're reading all this.
This is very fucking rapey.
Yeah, whatever, bro.
Listen, the point is it's not about rape.
So did he clap the shit?
Did he clap?
Did he end up clapping?
You read the movie?
Did he beat?
No, I didn't watch.
No, I read it.
I saw a thing about it.
Like one of these little three-minute videos.
I was like, hey, it was from like a pretty liberal thing, too.
It was like, hey.
And I was half wrong in the meeting was him and his wife wrote it together at a party.
Like telling people it's time to leave.
Just joking.
But him and his wife at a party.
It's not, I'm raping this bitch.
What if you're a rapist?
They'd be like, finally, a song from me.
Fine now.
But you can't sing that song today.
The song was saying about leaving a motherfucking party.
And it's not even her leaving.
It's about everybody else leaving.
My wife ain't got to leave our house.
Song about everybody else.
They're fucking around the piano.
That's what it said, right?
Okay, I see what you're saying.
So they're singing the song.
It's like the songs.
They're singing the song together to the crowd to leave.
They're on the piano together, fucking around.
And like, hey, guys, it's time to leave.
We're just fucking around on the piano, but seriously, leave.
Gotcha.
Okay, that makes sense.
So they're singing it.
So it wasn't he wrote a song about trying to fuck a bitch.
I was definitely half wrong.
I can see, but they put it in the movie and in the movie.
Apparently, it's like LA and it's...
I saw like a three-minute thing on it.
I didn't care to do 100% accurate research, but that's what I was saying.
Oh, it feels.
Okay.
Kind of feels like if you wouldn't have got through that with Andrew here.
No, it's by far the worst rendition of I've ever heard of that song.
Mac Miller and Ariana Grande had a version of it.
It was kind of fire.
I don't care, though.
Yeah, but it's not even all you.
But like, I don't care about white people music.
Like, to be honest, I would rather fuck it up and walk away.
I would feel better about myself if I fucked it up.
If I got it right, I'd be like, God damn it.
I was in the elf, though.
Yo, I was thinking about it.
Baby, it's cool.
I was thinking about this.
Andrew can come into this conversation when he gets here.
I was thinking about the three most supportive friends I have in my life are Andrew and then two other white dudes.
And I was like, yo, God won't let me have nothing, man.
He won't let me hate nobody.
So what are you doing?
I was like, I gotta ease up on my white bitch hate.
Otherwise, God knows where that's gonna go.
You know what I mean?
God don't let you hate, man.
That's why if you, that Chris Rock joke, if you have gays, you're gonna have a gay son.
God won't let you hate.
What if God loves you so much, he like kills all the white front white women in like your white friend's life?
He's like, I did this for you.
Yes, he took it to a dark place, man.
I respect it.
I respect it, but I don't know exactly how you got there.
Let me let you know.
Do you talk to God's will, bro?
Who am I to question, bro?
It's just like.
No, I did this for you, my son.
What do you mean?
Alex, did you hate any groups of people?
Did you hate white women before?
And that's why you fucking so many of them now?
Nah.
I don't hate any group of people.
I grew up in New York.
It's really hard to hate any people.
You grew up in motherfucking Far Rock away.
You're the last stop on the train.
That ain't New York.
Yeah, so I was like.
If I can read your city anytime on the train, that shit is not New York.
I was ignorant.
And then once I left Far Rock, then it's not.
I was really ignorant to gay people growing up.
Like, I didn't like hate gay people.
I just had these preconceived notions about them.
That was really funny.
Nah, like, from like TV and like rap music.
So you got for your uncle and aunt who hate gay people.
Nah.
Like, immigrants are, you know what I mean?
Immigrants is immigrants.
They just, I mean, my parents, well, my, like, my uncles and parents didn't like not like gay people.
They were just like, oh, you're just.
Yes.
Yes.
I was hoping we got this.
Oh, boy.
What you going to do?
Hey, guys, listen, you would think I'll be embarrassed by this.
No.
But I'm pretty proud of it, to be honest with you.
That gives us a little forever.
That's me.
Yeah, you didn't hear last episode.
That's a sketch I did for All Deaf Digital called Supportive Stalker.
That's bad.
Like, I don't even get how you make this.
Nah, the cops are.
I'm telling this bitch it's cold outside and she's not listening.
Stupid bitch is cold.
You gotta watch the skit.
The skit's really funny.
It's hilarious.
The sketch is called Supportive Stalker.
It's written by my homie Doughboy.
Shouts to Doughboy.
I'm trying to do a.
You think we could play it on here?
I'm sure they wouldn't give a fuck.
I mean, Russell got bigger things to worry about than what we playing on his YouTube.
Russell Simmons got bigger fish to fly.
Oh, my God.
It's just, I don't know if it's funny just audio, but I guess y'all can watch.
It's four and a half minutes.
You can at least watch a clip.
We can watch it.
Let's watch the first little clip.
You can watch the intro.
Supportive Stalker is called.
It's a little awkward for me to watch my own shit.
Well, we watched it.
Here's the thing.
It came up before we were taping last week.
And we just watched the whole sketch.
And how bad is the Google?
They don't even know how to skip the YouTube ad, dog.
It's crazy.
We were just laughing our ass off at this sketch before the.
It's a white bitch answering her phone.
Hello?
Why don't you want to talk to me?
Russell Simmons Thirst Trap00:11:32
Oh, I should.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Wasn't even missing all the jokes.
That's the point of this.
Who's the watcher?
Me hating the story.
Watch the clip of his sketch from All Def Digital.
I didn't see this.
They can't see it.
We can talk about the talk.
No, but the audio is going to get caught up on the video.
No, we're talking over it.
It's not music.
It will.
Just listen to it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how it works.
Cut it off.
That's not sorry.
Can't fuck it.
Cut it off.
Yeah, now we're just talking about it.
Just do it on the phone.
Like the original fucking babe.
It doesn't matter.
The code is its own track.
So we'll find it.
This has happened with where you put any TV show or any boxing or any of that kind of shit captures it.
All right, so just chopping.
I'm completely fine with it.
I did think Russell had bigger things to worry about, but he's got nothing to worry about.
No, but yeah, cut this off, though.
If y'all want to check it out, Supportive Stalker.
That's it.
All Def Digital Story.
No, we'll tweet it out.
I'll tweet it out tomorrow morning.
We could all watch it once this episode's out.
It's funny ass.
It's funny.
I skipped it.
I respect it.
You always hated white women, though.
I respect it.
Not always.
I think I hate them extra because I used to think they were cute back in high school when I grew up with them.
You know, I used to be very whitewashed.
I used to be very not proud to be an Indian.
I think that's why I overcompensate.
If we're being real about it, I'm extremely honest about that.
If we're being real about it, that's probably why I overcompensate so hard now.
It's Malcolm, bro.
Yeah, it is.
Eventually, you're going to go to white Mecca and then you're going to realize that we're all the same.
Well, no, I've done that with white dudes.
I haven't made it to that point.
Well, you know, eventually, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Wasn't that the Malcolm thing?
Like, Malcolm.
I was saying this while you were in the taking a shit.
I feel like God doesn't let you hate people.
And that's why I was saying my three most supportive friends are you and then Brian, who you know, and then Peter, who you know.
Three white dudes.
And I was like, God really was just like, hey, this whole hating white dudes thing is over.
And I took it to a dark place with white women.
Say again.
And I took it to a dark place with white women and like his god and stuff.
So you need some white girlfriends.
Yeah.
No, no.
We good.
We good.
Who's been the most supportive for you in your entertainment career, like executive-wise?
You?
Oh, Marcy, white lady.
Oh, shit.
Shout out to Marcia Phillips and ABC.
That's my fucking shit.
She's not going to be that supportive after this episode.
You know what's the dopest thing about her?
I had a, this is an old white girl.
Yeah.
Oh, like, I don't know, 60s, something.
I don't know.
But we had a conversation.
I was like, yeah, I used to really hate white people.
And we're just at lunch.
And she's like, yeah, I get it.
But it wasn't like a guilty, it wasn't like a guilty, like, no, we've done a lot of terrible things.
She's like, she wasn't even like, I get it.
She's like, okay, cool.
And I was like, I don't anymore.
She's like, yeah, people grow up.
But it wasn't like.
She dope.
She likes Andrew a lot, too.
She's very funny.
It's a good taste.
She got good taste.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Sorry, white people.
It's tough for y'all.
I'm sure.
I'm sure you'll show your power through white folks.
Tough for y'all.
It's a tough time.
I do empathize with white people, man.
I empathize, not white, like Europeans, but I empathize with white Americans that have no connection to their past.
Oh, like poor white Americans, like trailer trials?
Or just like wealthy white Americans that just like there are white Americans that, like my dad's side, we're Irish and German, but like no connection to what it means to be Irish and German.
Gotcha.
Like I have an idea of Scottish because my mom was born and raised there.
But like on my parents' side, it's like no idea.
No idea, right?
So the only choice they got is to be sidebar.
That video of you and your mom dancing on Instagram.
Oh, thank you guys.
Fucking adorable.
That thirst trap.
Alex called it out.
Fucking adorable.
It wasn't thirst trap, though.
Exactly.
It was a thirst trap room, but I was like, even I was like, this guy's a thirst trap god.
All he does is post fucking pull-up pictures.
See him just pumping his dick out.
It's been a while.
It's been a while.
Let's be fair to Alex.
Playing with his dick before he gets on a pull-up bar.
It's been a while, though.
Let's be fair to Alex.
But I respect it, though, because there's different ways.
Because dudes can't outwardly thirst trap like Alex can.
But the way you thirst trap is by doing little shit like this.
Like, oh, he loves his mother.
It's a thirst trap, bro.
I was dancing with my mom.
Look at the copy.
I can't tell Bill Man.
Yes.
100%.
It's a thirst trap, though.
100%.
But it's like, I had to show the world what a beautiful 71-year-old woman should do.
And you know what?
Maybe I did it on Easter Sunday when you're with your family and your head is in your phone and you're not taking advantage of that little time you have with your family.
And maybe you watched it and maybe you went, you know what?
My mom's right over there and I'm not giving any quality time on my.
Maybe I should just go hang out with my mom.
Your mom can't dance.
She got no rhythm.
None of your moms do.
My mom will smoke your mom on the dance.
I don't know about half.
My mom will smoke your mom on a dance floor.
Anytime you have ball and dance champion, all your moms can get bodied.
All your moms can get bodied.
We can set it up.
Anytime.
We can set it up.
My son, any look at this girl with the moves right here.
First off, African parents dance at every party for 9 p.m.
Hold up, hold up.
Real quick, what are you worried about?
You talking all this respect shit.
It's Sandra Cameron.
Why she Mama Schultz on your IG?
Nah, she's Schultz.
She's decided to get married.
She kept her making that.
Nah, nah, you Schultz.
I call her.
She says her name Sandra Cameron to people, and I correct it.
I'd be like, no, that's Mama Schultz.
You blow it in.
You can call whatever you want, but that's Sandra Schultz.
This is adorable, though.
All things considered.
It's cute.
It's cute.
And I do think it's possible people looked at it and thought, you know what?
I should get off my phone.
It's Easter.
I'm with my family.
It's also possible.
I think you also didn't know.
And a lot of girls would be like, Hasha, fuck this dude.
He's close to his mom.
He can dance and he's white.
That doesn't happen very much.
These are things that women look at.
They're like, oh my God, look at the beautiful thing.
Apparently, y'all know more about this shit than me.
I don't know about this stuff.
Y'all know more about this shit than me.
I was just having a beautiful moment with my mom, and I thought if I could put this positive energy out there in the world, other people could have beautiful moments with their moms.
I hope it happened.
If you look at a lot of comments, a lot of DMs, you know, besides the ones saying the footwork's not bad either on your part.
She's dancing.
She's carrying.
She's carrying you right now.
But your footwear's not bad.
No, his parents used to have, when I lived with him, his parents would have me fill in and dance classes sometimes.
He probably just grew up doing that.
Yeah.
You just need people sometimes.
I'm the best dancer on this podcast.
Nah, I'll tell you what, smell.
There's nothing gay about me being in a dance class, except that I wanted to dance with dudes.
I was trying to hold it back.
Fucking English boys.
Shit.
Anyway, this is a good topic, though.
Point is what art guy thirst trap thirst traps.
This?
Y'all be thirst trap.
You know how you thirst traps with moms.
This is how you thirst trap.
Be great.
That's the greatest thirst trap.
Okay, but not everybody's great, so people need to do shit like this.
So what y'all need, if you're not great, you need to watch.
Okay?
That's fine.
You don't got a thirst trap.
But this ain't, this is, look, you got to have these moments with your mom, bro.
And then sharing with other people, and then other people have the moments with your mom.
That's what we got to do.
Affect the ecosystem in a good way.
Yeah.
Okay, this isn't a thirst trap, but let's talk about actual thirst traps.
You want to know how to thirst trap well.
If you honestly tell me it's not a thirst trap, I'll believe you.
I swear to God.
Okay.
My dad was the one that filmed it.
This is me and my mom, my dad, before we went out to go eat, right?
I said, Dad.
I believe you.
I said, Dad, hold this.
I'm going to dance with mom, right?
And she didn't even know we were going to dance.
I cut the initial part of it off.
But like, you realize I never, like, I never get to dance with mom.
And my mom's probably secretly wanted me to dance with her for fucking my whole life.
Exactly.
This is her greatness.
Man, my heart is just so good.
You want to know some real shit?
And I didn't include this, but this is the, she wouldn't do it because she's like, I don't have any makeup on.
I don't look pretty.
I don't look cool.
Oh, your mom's beautiful.
She's beautiful.
She is beautiful.
If I really cared about Thirst, that's the part I would put up.
Me and my mom, my dad, me and my dad going, you look beautiful.
But I just wanted, like, yo, man, I don't get, I don't hang out with them.
I'm trying to do Sundays with my parents.
Trying to do every Sunday with my parents.
That's great.
So, and it does, it is cool.
It's a solid idea.
You know what?
We should all do Sundays.
Do Sundays with your parents?
Let's do that.
Let's make it.
Let's make sure.
Let's start it on the make a hashtag Flagratu.
Family Sunday.
Barstool has Sundays for the boys.
Yeah, Saturdays for the boys.
Flagrant 2 will have Sundays for the moms.
Sundays for the moms.
Sundays for the moments.
Sundays for the parents or whatever.
Sundays for the parents.
If you're a real asshole whose mom is 1,500 miles away, do it.
Do it, do it.
Do it.
You can.
If you can be around it.
Yeah.
For me, and this is, and I don't have like the most incredible relationship with my mom, right?
But it is nice just being around the family energy.
I will be honest.
Like little shit that like little jokes my dad was making.
My dad is just a straight old pervert now.
Doesn't give a fuck.
Do you know what I mean?
Does not give a fuck.
It's just straight sex jokes all day.
So, but this right here, it was.
Maybe he's just trying to relate to you.
Maybe that.
Maybe.
That's true.
Now I'm front.
Who's the third strap?
That shit works.
That shit works.
That shit work.
Hey, we got that.
Hey.
Hey, hey, we got that.
That shit work.
Oh, my God.
How them likes?
How them views?
Huh?
What?
You know, I believe you when you said it was real, though, because you said you swear to God.
I do swear to God.
I swear to God.
And we did cut the other part.
I really thought that.
It might, there might be some other people with their family on Sunday.
And I was like, yo, man.
Look at me having fun with my moms.
Y'all can have fun with your people.
It's nice.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's very pure, very pure.
Or we should do dance lessons with Sandra.
We could have dance.
We could have Sandra teach us all some shit.
There's also a point to that because I don't ever put up shit with my mom because I'm like, nah, I don't want to be phony.
But like, always putting the asshole stuff up as phony.
You know what I mean?
You can put up some shit like that every once in a while.
And maybe affect the ecosystem, to use your words.
That's it.
It's bigger than you.
I like to keep certain things to the chest.
Totally.
The girlfriend, the family, the mom.
Here and there.
On a story.
I see her all the time on a story when you guys go out to eat.
Yeah, here and there.
But you know what?
You want to have shit to talk about, so you just put the camera on her.
Because that's the only time she's happy.
Only time she smiles when she's eating with me.
I'm like, all right, yeah, now she's.
No, I don't need again.
But yeah, man, you got to do that shit.
I understand, like, for me, there's a lot of things that I don't include in my life in my entertainment board.
There's a lot of my life that's separate, you know, but I think that we got a unique opportunity to show some cool shit that makes people want to do some cool shit outside of just like jokes or just content.
Sundays are for the parents, man.
Yo, Sundays are for the folks.
Sundays are for the folks.
Saturdays for the boys.
Sundays for the shout out to Barstool.
They started that shit.
Saturdays are for the boys.
Sundays are for the folks or some shit.
We've got to have some.
We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
Yeah.
But yo, dance lessons for real.
My mom came in when I was in first grade and taught the class dance lessons.
Really?
And the only way I agreed to have her do it is she would teach half ballroom and then the other half she'd have to teach MC Hammer.
So my mom.
I would hate to monetize your mom, but I think that would be like a great Patreon goal.
Like she teaches a ballroom class for like all the assholes and it's free or whatever.
I want her to teach MC Hammer.
Teach us how to do that.
Did you still get that typewriter?
No, she's ice.
I'm telling you.
That's it.
They go out dancing three times a week.
My folks.
That's beautiful.
That's fire, man.
I love it.
Yeah, my dad's knee is busted.
She's just wearing this guy down, you know?
She's literally just grinding this guy down, man.
She's like Tom Thibodeau.
Michael Jordan Comparison00:02:16
Yeah, but that's how it is.
Wearing out all the boys.
That's good.
Fucking jump.
She's like 48 minutes a game, Darren.
That's her humor, though.
Like, I empathize when someone loves something like we love jokes.
I can always relate to it.
So, like, imagine you got a girl who hates your fucking jokes.
You're going to still get them three days a week is joke night.
You're going to get these jokes.
I don't give a fuck if it wears you down.
You don't get these jokes, man.
You hate me, girl.
You're getting this wart.
Oh, hell yeah.
Anyway, anything else you want to cover, guys?
The other two things I taught, I wrote down, you said something interesting about Patrick Beverly.
I thought it was interesting.
Which was that?
I think it was if somebody, if James, if Patrick Beverly had James Harden's game or vice versa, he would be Michael Jordan or something like that.
There's something to that.
Oh, yeah.
So I was trolling a little bit.
I was trolling a little bit on Twitter.
And I almost, I got busy, but I wanted to do a thread of just like absurd.
Like, if you combine these two people, then they're this.
So I started out with, what was it?
Beverly and Harden.
Yeah, if James Harden had Patrick Beverly's heart, he'd be Michael Jordan.
Or Michael Jordan is just.
It was going to be Michael Jordan is just.
But then I was going to get like really absurd with that.
That was not.
That one was close enough.
That's not bad.
The thing was, is.
Imagine Lou Williams gets all the hardened calls hardening to get to the average 40.
Michael Jordan was James Harvest released hard.
Okay, I can get that.
I think it would have been a really fun thing to get really absurd with it.
Like, Michael Jordan is just Danilo Galinari, but with blah, blah, blah, blah, footwork.
That's what I do on Twitter all the time.
Like, anytime, like, you like you have a shit game, like, I saw somebody tweet Russell Westbrook is just Johnny Flynn with anger issues.
Like, after any bad game, like, you'll just see people just roast him and just be like, yo, LeBron James is just Lamar Odom without the crack or some shit like that.
Just terrible.
I'm not saying I've said it.
I'm just saying these are things that I've seen.
Whatever.
Well, yeah, whatever.
I might have lied.
Last thing I want to talk about, if you want to get into his Crawford and Con the fight.
Yeah.
I didn't watch the fight.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
I should have.
You remember when I used to always troll people saying, Amir Con is the greatest fighter ever?
Just because he's brown.
He's brown, Alex.
Lomachenko Fight Tickets00:04:19
Yeah, I did that.
And the Indian guy that Mavericks drafted, I did a thread of him, how good he was, and stuff like that.
That's so fun to do.
But I actually watched the fight.
I knew he was going to lose.
I don't know much, but I knew he was going to lose.
Glass Chin.
Crawford is legit, man.
He's so fucking good.
Yeah, man.
It's boxing's in an interesting place, man.
It's like waiting for its next breakout star.
Lomachenko just fall recently, and he's just incredibly talented.
And there's a couple very interesting fights out there.
We're just kind of like waiting for it to happen.
This Dazone thing is shaking things up because people don't know exactly where to watch the fights.
Like the content is really tricky right now.
The ESPN Plus thing is making it hard for people to sign up.
Yeah, so it's like, how do I get this?
How do I get the people?
What is happening?
There's a lot of flux right now.
And I think once the dust settles, we're going to see some big stars pop up.
I would love to see Lomachenko fight.
I don't know if it's possible for Lomachenko to fight Crawford.
I don't think it is possible.
I think Lomachenko's got to fight maybe like Mikey Garcia or something like that.
But anyway, or there's a Floyd Mayweather fighter named Gervante Davis.
On the money team, you mean?
Yeah.
And Jervante Davis.
I heard of him actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that would be a really cool fight, man.
But yeah, boxing is in an interesting place.
You know, there's a friend of the show gave me the manager of Kranken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we're going to wrap up on that.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going to watch it.
You want to hold it?
So manager of Lomachenko, he's also the manager of Crawford.
I spoke to him, so I'm going to try and get Crawford on the podcast.
Nice.
Yeah, it'll be good stuff because he'd be an interesting guy to talk to.
There's a yeah, he'd be an interesting guy to talk to, especially after Stylebender, you know, having being on here and just like really getting into like what it is fighter.
Yeah, like for me, I'm just fascinated on what it is to be a fighter and like the is that how you said it?
Ayabiakun.
Ayabikun.
Ayabiakun.
But anyway, man, thank you all so much for listening, man.
We got some dates coming up.
I know that Alex and I are going to be in Austin for the Moontower Comedy Festival.
You can go buy tickets.
I think my show is Friday night at like 9:15 or some shit like that.
I'll be doing a bunch of little shows around the festival, but if you just want to buy tickets to the headlining show, just go right ahead and buy that one.
Then we're going to be in Dallas, and then we're going to be in the weekend after.
I'll be in Dallas May 3rd.
Yeah, 3.
Josh will be there for the May 3rd show.
Then we're going to do Dallas.
And we got Nashville.
And then just go to theIndrowSchools.com, get it.
And then for the Toronto show, I think there's less than 30 tickets left, man.
That's unbelievable, man.
Just get on that.
If you want to be there that night, get on it.
New York going fast.
Boston going fast.
Chicago going fast.
We just added another show for San Francisco.
So there'll be a show the 8th and the 9th of June.
So go to theandrosholls.com.
We're coming to a lot of different cities, and we've got another cool announcement coming up in the next couple weeks.
But yeah, go to the interest.com right now, gobble up those tickets.
I'm telling you, man, get them before they sold out.
I see y'all wait, and then I see y'all upset when they sell out.
So go get them now.
May 27th, Duce Palooza is coming back home to New York City in Brooklyn.
The Brooklyn Mirage.
We expect about 6,000 people in that venue.
It's going to be insane.
May 27th at the Brooklyn Mirage.
And Philly, May 31st, we are hosting the official pre-party for the Roots Picnic.
So come through, get tickets for that.
Duce SayPalooza.com.
The Roots Picany.
Ah, God.
Oh, that's so unfortunately named right now.
But May 31st, that's what we'll be at.
But definitely hook up in New York for the Brooklyn Mirage.
We're about to announce our headliner for the New York City date, and it's going to be a big one.
So make sure you get those tickets now before we announce the guys and they start selling the fuck out super fast.
So get that shit.
Get to it.
Carolines, this Friday, this Saturday, 7:30 p.m.
You can get tickets on the Carolines website, Carolines.com, or at my website, AkashSing.com.