An early childhood development expert shares his philosophy on the proper dynamic between parents and kids, and especially during the formative early years. It's well-reasoned tough love. We were speaking in different dialects early in the show, but shortly thereafter crack the code for a great discussion. Break: "Kids" by One Republic Close: "Shrivel Up" by Devo (DJ Vril Smith) Sam's article on Christian Identity and Catholicism Spot Bitcoin Funds Ranked by Fees Simplicius Substack Support Judd Blevins in his recall election: https://secure.anedot.com/blevins4enid/donate Buy a David Irving book for yourself, a friend, or a political prisoner: https://irvingbooks.com/donate/ And for the love of all that is good and holy, write to a prisoner: https://Justice-Initiative.net Go forth and multiply. Support Full Haus at givesendgo.com/FullHaus Subscribe to Surreal Politiks. And follow The Final Storm on Telegram and subscribe on Odysee. Censorship-free Telegram commentary: https://t.me/prowhitefam2 Telegram channel with ALL shows available for easy download: https://t.me/fullhausshows Gab.com/Fullhaus Odysee for special occasion livestreams. RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/275732/rss All shows since Zencast deplatforming: https://fullhaus.libsyn.com/ And of course, feel free to drop us a line with anything on your mind at fullhausshow@protonmail.com. We love ya fam, and we'll talk to you next week.
One thing that virtually all of us share in common is that we want what's best for our kids.
Health, safety, happiness, love, success, and one day, many children of their own.
Our perhaps too scant parenting advice on this show is a reflection of two things.
We're blessed to have mostly healthy children of respectable intelligence with no serious maladies or behavioral pathologies.
Whether that is a result of our alpha genetics, pro-tier parenting skills, or just dumb luck is debatable.
And regardless, it's wise to not get cocky until they're all grown up, out of the house, hitched, and parents themselves.
Speaking personally, another factor in our not discussing parenting too much is that it seems like if you get the basics right, the outcomes turn out all right.
Keep them safe.
Don't be physically or emotionally abusive.
Spend time with them.
Keep mostly healthy food in the house.
Work their brains, ensure they get plenty of exercise outdoors.
And just don't ask me about the screen time because it's been a bad winter on that front in this house.
But there are legions of child development experts out there, acres of books and studies published on parenting, and endless advice columns and shows.
A lot of people have put a lot more thought into it than I have because there's a lot of parents and kids out there with serious problems and in need of serious help.
This week, we are excited to welcome an early childhood development expert to look closer at the do's and don'ts of parenting with perhaps greater focus than we ever have before on this show.
Whether your kids are angels or Hellions, you'll hopefully learn something this week.
So, Mr. Producer, let's go.
Welcome, everyone, to Full House, the world's finest show for white fathers, aspiring ones, and the whole biofam.
I am your pretty good dad of a host, Coach Finstock, back with another two hours of us feeling better about ourselves by trying to help you.
Before I meet the birth panel, though, big thanks to Rusty and Melvin Goldfarb, if that's his real name, for their kind support of the show this week.
If you'd like a similar dopamine hit of knowing that you helped us out, just go to givesendgo.com slash fullhouse.
And with that, let's get down to it.
First up, he knows better than most of us that despite similar inputs and environments, kid outcomes can vary massively.
Sam, welcome back, big guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, you ain't lying there, Coach.
Yeah.
You know, I never had any, maybe I should not get too deep into it, but I'll just try to respond briefly, which is I never really had any problems with the kids in terms of like teenage rebellion, talking back or doing bad things or getting in trouble or anything like that.
Now, all but one of my children are adults.
So you might say, you know, they're on their own now as adults.
Some of them have been extremely successful and some of them are kind of lost right now or trying to find their way.
I guess if I wanted to put a positive note to it.
And, you know, people in their young 20s in this day and age are like kids anyways.
And it takes some time to find what you need to be doing in life, what you're good at and what's the right direction in your life.
to some some are doing well, some not doing great.
And for the youngest one, it's yet to be determined.
But, you know, so I guess if I had to claim any success, I would just say that, that I have not experienced the oppositional defiance or back talk or anything like that.
And I think that is something worth noting.
And, you know, having a relatively peaceful relationship with your children and in the family is good.
It's a good one of the most important things in life.
Yeah.
You know, when you hear stories or you know people that have problems, I mean, so I'm hanging my hat on that, but there's there are areas that I, I don't know.
I'm, you know, as much as you think I'm a fascist being on a show like this and that, I guess I'm kind of a liberal in a way, like in the house.
I'm, I'm not very dictatorial about people making them do things or, you know, being too hard on people.
I think sometimes maybe I should be in the screen time thing.
That is definitely a thing that's worth discussing.
And I'm not sure what to do about it, but I'm from the era where I remember all the studies would be coming out and it would be discussed about how many hours per week, yeah, per week that kids spend, how many murders per week they observe on TV and how many hours they spend.
And, you know, that's that was all true then.
And I think TV is a much more passive thing than using a computer or playing video games or watching short videos or things like that.
So yeah, it's something we could talk about.
Yep.
I actually just told that to our five-year-old today.
He was asking, because he knows that I hate it when he puts on junk YouTube videos of Minecraft movies.
That is the worst.
That is at the lowest end of the totem pole.
I am happiest if you're going to have screen time.
I'm happiest when you are building awesome things in Minecraft, which he is increasingly.
He built himself a two-story treehouse the other day with a bed and flowers around it.
It was awesome.
He's not building synagogues and doing, you know what.
Yeah.
And then I said, you know, after that is playing games on your tablet.
I prefer the Khan Academy learning games and the watching TV.
Anyway, later on the show, Sam, I definitely want to get to, you know, whether you were just sort of flying casual or doing what seemed like common sense with your kids, or if you had sort of some psychological approach, or if you ever read a book, and we'll ask our special guest about that too, if there's any actual parenting books that our audience consider reading.
But we got, we got a lot to get to.
Let's get to it.
So next up, I am more confident.
Oh, and real quick, Sam, lovely article on Christian identity and Roman Catholicism.
It is up on the site.
I posted on the telegram page.
So check that out, audience.
I'll put it in the show notes too.
Maybe if there's time in the second half or something like that, maybe I could say a few words about it because in the course of writing that, I had an extremely weird experience that kind of changed the actual article.
And I thought it would be worth noting or worth talking about.
You bet.
Let's do it in the second half.
All right.
Next up.
I am more confident that he will eventually be a wonderful father than almost any other eligible bachelor I know.
And there's no snort coming here, buddy.
The great Rolo is back at the control panel.
Welcome, Pel.
Well, thank you.
The good Rolo.
I haven't earned great yet.
Did I say the good Rolo or the Great Rolo?
No, no, no, I was I was correcting you.
You gave me too much credit.
Oh, very humble of you.
First time for everything.
What's up, buddy?
Well, you know, I'm a little tired, a little underslept.
Long weekend.
We'll get to that later.
All right.
Second half content there, too.
Want to hear about it.
I am very calm and just have a genuine intellectual curiosity for our very special and long overdue guest.
We've been talking about having him on the show for over a year.
Finally made it happen.
He has worked with, let's say, over 100 children over the course of his career.
I've seen him interact with our own children in an extremely thoughtful and kind way.
He is kind of a galaxy brain when it comes to childhood development.
So I might even have to ask him to dumb it down for me at least this show.
He can tend to get carried away with his analyses.
Vrill Smith, welcome to Full House, buddy.
All right, thanks.
Yeah.
Happy to have you, man.
Let's let's do the bit.
First time on the show.
Ethnicity, religion, and fatherhood status, please.
Okay, so ethnicity, I am a combination of Iberian and English.
All right.
Religion, you said?
Yes, sir.
I don't know if I can really claim a religion.
If I did, it would probably something like Buddhism, frankly.
Okay.
What were you raised?
My, I was raised by a single parent who was a devout atheist.
So that probably rubbed off on you, but the did not.
So you've been a very spiritual kid.
I was a profoundly spiritual kid.
All right.
Very good.
But, okay, well, we'll leave it at that.
Not to get too derailed here.
And fatherhood status.
You're the kid expert, but I don't, so far as I know, you don't have any of your own.
No, I'm barren, man.
No, I got nothing.
Very sad.
All right.
So very sad.
Do you attribute that?
Is it you just haven't been able to lock down a lady?
I've been, I've had so many opportunities.
I've had so many ladies that were downlockable.
But yeah, just I don't know, owing to the vicissitudes of my psychology and so forth.
I mean, it could be a bit of a couch session.
It can be a bit of a couch session if you want to go into detail about why, because it really doesn't make sense.
Because I would love, obviously, to be a father and I think I'd be pretty good at and so forth.
But yeah.
I think so.
Kind of a tragedy, but it's obviously not too late for you.
You're not a young buck, but you're not that good.
It's technically, biologically possible.
So send me any, you know, mail order Slavic brides that you have in a crate somewhere in the basement.
Like send them over.
I'm down.
Nah, you're handsome and you're smart and you're obviously awesome with kids.
So we'll put you on the full house eligible bachelor list.
Assuming this first hour goes well.
And before we get to your expertise, I got to ask your brief red pill story.
When I first met you, I looked, I said, huh, he looks a little crunchy.
And I bet he's got some leftist priors.
And I can't remember exactly your journey.
So real quick, how you ended up being comfortable with our ideology.
In terms of leftist priors, up until probably sometime around 2018, 2019, I was watching Democracy Now every day.
Oh, yeah.
PBS.
And yeah, so that's been generally kind of the, I never, ever, ever was, would consider myself political.
I was always allergic to anything that smacked of politics.
My mother would listen to the news and stuff.
And I would just, it just always grossed me out.
I didn't like to hear that shit.
I didn't like to hear politicians talk.
I knew it was all bullshit and it's all that shit.
So I always have shied very much away from anything political.
But my immediate sort of cohort was people who were just lefties.
I mean, I'm in California.
I grew up in California.
I was always in the music scene.
I hung around people that were in the music scene doing art and stuff.
And they were just, you know, they were just kind of standard anywhere between default liberals and like black block antifoids, really.
Oh, yeah.
Liberalism by Osmosis goes to show your environment matters very much in terms of how you play.
What kind of music did you play?
Weird, obnoxious music.
I was in like punk bands and experimental bands and shit like that.
All right.
But so at some point, I was, I was trying to, okay, so one thing that was happening was the whole social justice shit was really infiltrating the intimate nooks and crannies of everybody's relationships.
You know, and this, this kind of really hit high gear.
I don't know what year you'd put it at, you know, anywhere between 2010 and 2015, 16.
I don't know.
But it became you couldn't be around people without everybody trying to police each other as to how, you know, assiduously they were conforming to the requirements and everything.
And it just struck me as bullshit.
And I was offended by it and I was disgusted by it.
And I saw that it was just a lot of people just being insecure and narcissistic and power tripping.
And so it really kind of put me at a loss and puzzled me because these were heretofore, these are just the people that were like my people that I were hanging out with, but I couldn't stomach this.
So around the same time when this stuff was just starting, this rot was just setting in all over the place.
I happened to be looking on YouTube and I hate to mention YouTube, but it really is.
I really did go down the YouTube rabbit hole.
I was on, I was looking on YouTube for anything regarding Carl Jung.
I don't know why.
So, of course, a lecture by Jordan Peterson on the subject comes up.
I'd never heard of Jordan Peterson.
So this was at a time when when you watch a video on YouTube, it starts giving you other shit to watch that it thinks you might like.
And that at the time included shit like James Alsup, you know, and just everything in between, frankly.
All the shit, Tim Poole and who's that guy, Stephen Crowder, and all the conservative shit.
And so it started, you know, I started seeing recommendations for this shit.
And I kind of got a sense.
Watch your SH bombs there, buddy.
Oh, man.
I'm so sorry.
I totally forgot about that.
I totally forgot.
I am so sorry.
It's all good.
Okay.
Thank you.
First ever shit censor.
Well, you know, one or two is okay, but I think you're not going to be able to do it.
No, I'm not a shit show.
Sam, that's not helpful.
Show title.
Yeah, please.
I mean, by all means.
All of his kids that he works with, they all got podcasts.
I have to, no, this, I have to get it out when I can because I have to, you know, clean up.
But no, yeah, censor me harder, daddy.
So, you know, I just started the algorithm was showing me all the stuff.
And I kind of had a sense that this was stuff that was objecting to the same stuff that was bothering me in my life, this social justice stuff.
So I just started consuming.
I was just voraciously consuming all these things.
And it took me all the way to, this is when TRS still had a YouTube channel.
Yep.
And so really in the span of a scant few months, I went from Democracy Now to TRS.
And that was it.
That was that.
Not bad.
Good for you, buddy.
Yeah.
Throwing off the leftist shackles for a good reason.
And thanks to the now sadly defunct, tragically defunct YouTube algorithm.
All right, let's move on to really important.
Everything I said at the top was true and I guess let's start there.
You know my sort of I don't.
I don't, I can't say that I have a parenting philosophy, right.
I had two very good, loving parents.
Obviously they weren't perfect, but they were pretty close to it.
So I kind of tried to just emulate them and maybe fix one or two things that I would have of theirs.
But it's basically like the old medical uh command.
You know, first do no harm.
Uh, is that good enough?
For most parents, those sort of things keep them healthy.
You know, not too much screen time?
No, absolutely not, not by a long shot.
No okay, all right, good proof.
That's kind of a problem.
Ah, it's kind of a problem.
I mean, everybody's familiar with the idea of a pathological altruism right yep, and Kevin Mcdonald, the idea that yeah we're, we're too good to others and it comes back to bite us in the ass, more or less.
But go ahead yeah, and some version of that is really plaguing contemporary parenting and has been so increasingly over really, as far as i've observed, over the last 20, 30 years, because parenting was very different when I was growing up in the 90s and so forth.
Okay, and the problems that would have, people would err differently, parents would err differently than they do now.
And um, you know this, I would assume, is oh, owes to shifts in society broadly, whereby people have different um, ideas about what constitutes um, what makes you a good person, what renders you what, what puts you in good standing with pop, with polite society.
Okay uh so, but you're saying that you have to actually be way more diligent and put a lot more thought into raising your child a little more on.
Okay, all right.
Well, it's not that you have to put more thought into it.
Um, it's, it's it has to do with, let's see, how can I just kind of it's.
It's hard to just sort of jump in, you know, from from the side of the pool at any given um well, how about the difference?
You said you know you compare different parenting styles.
Obviously, parenting was different in the 50s than the 90s, than today.
Yeah, what's your, what's your, what's your ideal parenting style.
Then, how about so?
Well, what seems to have happened in terms of like for how much energy you're putting in sort of parents, the nowadays I hate to say words like nowadays, but that's what it is um, seem to be very anxious to make themselves um exempors of adversity, but first and foremost, for their children, the whole uh, isolating them from any challenges problems, difficulties in life.
Sure, and i've heard, you know you've you've yes, and i've heard the term like a helicopter parenting.
Somebody told me this term that apparently is getting around, called snow.
What was it?
Snowplow parenting, where you're just moving all difficulties and obstacles out of their way all the time, and that's what parents think makes them good parents.
Okay, and Give me an example of that, if you could, somebody who's doing too much for their kids or making it too much of an easy street for them.
An example.
Like reporting bullies at school to the administration or like saving too much for college.
I don't know.
No, it's not really like that.
It's a little bit, it's more nuanced and intimate than that.
It's a very moment by moment thing.
It's an attitude.
It's a general approach.
It's a general sense of what the role of a parent is and what a child needs in order to be healthy.
Yeah, expand on that.
If I might just put in a couple of thoughts here.
One thing you have to consider is, you know, in today's day and age where people have one or two children, that's like a different dynamic than when you have six or seven, let's say.
And you cannot raise six or seven children like having these little psychiatric sessions where you find out how they're feeling and you're analyzing that, you know what I mean?
It has to be a lot more organic than that.
And maybe what Vrill is trying to say, like it's an attitude.
It's not about doing one specific thing, because certainly in a more organic family where there's not just one or two children, you got to have like a lifestyle where things go, you know, in a certain way.
And the man of the house like myself might work 50, 55 hours a week.
And so.
Yeah, and that's, that's a lot of it.
And I mean, a lot of it, I think, comes from shifts in how society kind of works and what society demands of people generally.
Obviously, it's normal for people to be parents, to have children.
And in the normal, in the, let's say, I don't know, traditional or natural course of things, there's only so much attention, say, you're going to be able to devote to doting over your kids and worrying about every little thing that might happen and so forth.
And so, yeah, because, you know, I grew up with just one brother and, you know, my mother especially was, you know, very much on top of everything.
And I just think then there's this not exactly good desire in your teenagers where you really want to break away and you just can't stand to feel close to your parents.
You know what I mean?
And I think there should be a little more where the child doesn't feel smothered or doesn't feel like the parent is in their business all the time so that there isn't that desire to just break away, you know?
Well, the thing is this.
Okay.
I mean, this is the trouble.
I've thought so much about this and talked so much about this from all kinds of different angles.
And so I've never been on like a podcast or anything.
So it's a foreign format.
And it's difficult for me to just sort of jump in cold and start blabbing about it because it's difficult to know.
Because my thoughts about it have always been in response to particular situations and analyzing like what's going on in a particular situation.
So, I mean, broadly, I guess I could try to start by sketching out a picture of what's happening developmentally from the beginning.
Go for it.
So when a child is born physically from a situation where there's no differentiation, all available resources are present to a maximal degree, and there's no action that needs to be taken in order to avail oneself of what one needs.
And you come out into the physical world and there's differentiation.
You have to get to the tit in order to get the milk and you, et cetera.
But for the first year, certainly, everything that is needed is being administered to you by the grown-ups.
And what's happening during that year is an exploration of the ins and outs and the vicissitudes and the tech specs of the physical environment.
Some things are, there's light and there's dark and there's heavy and there's light and there's big and there's small and there's etc.
Around 12 months, it really starts to peak out around nine months, you can really start to see it.
But I tend to put it at 12 months just for ease of sketching it out.
What happens developmentally is that a child becomes cognizant of themselves as an elicitor of responses from the grown-ups that are administering the environment.
And they've spent that first year watching you putter around the house, acting on the physical environment that they're getting to know on the basis of your preference.
Not you personally, but your parent, the grown-up.
Your preference as to if this cupboard is open, you want it closed.
You don't negotiate with it.
You just close it.
Things like this.
You want to move the couch.
You move the couch.
And there's an instinct beyond that that the grown-up is in an administrative position, executive position over this environment.
And the child, when they've come to understand themselves as their behavior is eliciting responses, they've been sketching a map of your nervous system, basically, based on the patterns in your mannerisms and your tone of voice and how you respond to things and how quickly and how urgently and things like this.
So coming into this stage of development, what they need is guidance as to how to contour their habits of behavior in such a way as to remain in an agreeable position to the economy of available resources.
And so what they do is they use the map of your nervous system that they've been internalizing and they push against parts of it that are that they have an indication that are kind of chinks in the armor or weak spots because they can be confident that they're going to get a response.
They run tests that they can be confident they're going to get results from.
So they do things that they understand you don't want them to do that will annoy you, that will upset your nervous equilibrium as a, which is an analog to elements in the environment that you might want change.
You want to close the door if it's cold, you want to, et cetera.
The child needs to experience the adult administering the social environment.
That is to say, the parameters of their preference regarding the behavior of the child so that the child can start to get a map of the parameters of the social environment moving on from those of the physical environment.
The physical environment is that discipline is what you're talking about, discipline there, the parental corrections of a young, of a baby, essentially a young child acting out.
Is that what you're getting at?
You could call it that, I suppose.
I mean, it's discipline in a very rudimentary sense of learning.
They're getting a picture.
Like when you're crawling, let's say a baby's crawling, they start to get a sense of how the physical environment works.
You're crawling on the floor.
Well, if the floor sort of gives way, you know, at weird intermittent times and you don't know what it's going to do, that's going to become a focus of a lot of exploration because you need to get a sense of what the consistencies are here in order to orient yourself.
If the wall, you know, you push against the walls in your house and they're solid, they don't fall down.
If there's a certain wall in your house, you're a baby, you're feeling around and a certain wall like falls over when you push on it somewhere.
That's going to become a focus of particular attention to try to figure out why is that?
How does this work?
And how frequently and so forth.
And the same principle applies to the social environment when the development becomes more social rather than physical.
They need to learn what the parameters are.
So they'll.
Yeah, you have a question.
Well, I was going to say, give, so what are some things?
You know, I always try to keep it practical in here.
And you're, you're, I have no doubt that what you're saying is absolutely valid and spot on, but it's still sort of theoretical and a little bit jargon-y.
What, so, you know, when, when, obviously, babies are exploring their world, their brains are growing massively.
Everything is interesting.
They're interesting in dangerous things.
They're interested in throwing their food on the floor, throwing their bottle, et cetera.
I guess, you know, what's the, what in your opinion is the best role for a parent in those precious, very important early days?
Just a little more examples.
What the child needs to see, well, well, as you can.
I'll explain it generally and then we can talk about specifics.
What the child needs to see is that they can trust the grown-up to make decisions about what does and doesn't fly, what can and can't happen in this environment on the basis of their own assessment and their own preference.
And regardless of any objection from the child, because the kid knows a one-year-old has a sense that I'm just a one-year-old.
Sorry, that I'm just a one-year-old.
And, you know, I'm the kid and they have a sense of the difference.
And so they don't expect that when they get a sense that a parent prefers one thing over another, that preference is going to cave to the objection of the kid, just like they wouldn't expect the wall to fall down.
But if it does, they need to explore more and figure out why that is.
And so this is what I mean about contemporary parenting, where what contemporary parents do is misread their children's attempts at exploration.
What's the word?
Testing the boundaries.
Yes, the child's attempt to establish the solidity, the reliability of their parent as an administrator of those boundaries.
Contemporary parents misread those attempts as expressions of desire.
And so it's like saying that if you push against the wall, you're saying that you'd like it to move.
Does that make sense?
Sure.
And the reality is the kid's just exploring and testing things out.
Well, they have an instinctive expectation that it's not going to move, but they need to have the direct experience of pushing against it and having it be solid.
So a child needs to have a direct experience of doing something that they confidently understand you're not going to like and having you act in such a way as to cause that not to be possible.
Okay.
So this is what contemporary parents almost always miss.
And so I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.
So you're saying contemporary parents view that childhood activity as misbehavior or dangerous and they should.
No, they view it as an expression of desire that the parent's job, if they're a good parent, is to affirm and allow and support.
And so then at the end of the day, of course, their nerves are all trampled on and they're exhausted and they pat themselves on the back for being very good parents because it's difficult to parent because you have to put up with this kind of stuff.
Okay.
And so parents should be very permissive then, if I'm reading you correctly, in those early years to let their kids explore and not be so hands up.
No, I'm wrong.
Okay.
I think he's saying not only in a physical sense, but even in emotional things or the social aspects of interaction that the boundaries should stand firm.
And just because the child wants to test some aspect, that doesn't mean, oh, let little Johnny do whatever he wants.
No, be consistent, be firm.
Right.
And that's like a healthy, normal way for the child to test his environment.
And maybe I'm stupid or I'm not picking up on it.
But yeah, basically when you're talking about the same thing.
No, it's me.
It's just the way that I don't explain things very.
All right.
Okay.
So we'll say it.
What the child needs is to see that I'm doing something that I have a good sense, a very clear, confident sense, because I've been intimately getting to know what bothers the grownups.
When I cry and shriek, they jump to action to try to figure out what's wrong and fix it.
That's your experience as a small child.
When you get to the age where you are more cognizant of that and you become a self, so there's a physical self that comes into being when you leave the physical womb and a social self that comes into being in the, you know, after a period of gestation, you could say nine to 12 months.
And that social self needs to that.
So you first you're exploring the physical, the solidities of the physical environment, and then you are looking for solidities in the social environment.
The child knows what bothers you.
But after that age, they start to do it deliberately instead of just instinctively.
You make a loud noise when you're uncomfortable or something and because you need the parents to come and deal with it for you.
Now you can start pushing the buttons on purpose.
I'm deliberately doing things that I know are going to bother you because I need to have the experience of you administering a parameter against that behavior in me in order to regain your nervous equilibrium that I'm trying to unseat.
The expectation instinctively is that you're going to do that.
And that is going to ratify for me that yes, you can be trusted as a reliable guide to the parameters because the parameters are simply solid.
You're not going to say, you're not going to suddenly decide that that's okay.
Something that shouldn't be okay with you is okay just because you think that it's not nice to curtail, to prohibit.
Gotcha.
So hands-on setting boundaries and guiding them through is important because you're setting the tone for years down the road and whether you're raising a sport.
You're setting the tone specifically for the fulfillment of cognitive traits.
And there's all kinds of problems with when you talk about milestones.
There's speech delays.
There's picky eating.
There's all kinds of things that are toilet training, various.
There's all kinds of things that are taken care of if you set the foundation properly by demonstrating that you can be relied upon as a guide to clear, consistent, solid parameters that aren't negotiable, that aren't equivocal.
And what parents do is they negotiate and they equivocate because they think that the kid pushing those buttons is just a spontaneous act of exploration.
It's something that they happen to like.
Gotcha.
I got it now.
Now, let's, I got a lot of questions and we got to keep moving here.
Let's go.
Let's just, let's go into a specific one, one that's near and dear to my heart.
Probably the complaint I see from parents most often is, you mentioned, picky eaters, even more than potty training or the rest of it.
And here in the Finstock household, we have more or less relented to our pickiest eater of all time and essentially just put up the white flag.
And yes, you can have chicken luggies and plain pasta with butter and the rest of it.
Any picky eater tips or psychology there, big?
Absolutely.
This is, it follows on from where we've gotten thus.
Perfect.
So when parents misread these behaviors and take them as invitations to relent and cave, then it forces the child to have to escalate their tests because they're not getting conclusive results.
They're trying to make sure, they're trying to see, look, I need to be able to trust you when you, when you say, and when we, we establish that this is something you don't want, that yeah, it's not going to be doable, so that when you internalize the boundaries into a structure, then you can then default to acting in accordance with an expectation that you're going to have to consider what other people prefer.
If that's not forthcoming, the child just has to test harder, and all that just means is that you're forcing all of the developmental energy into getting better at being annoying, getting better at being transgressive, and so one one thing, that and so that begins to infiltrate all areas of behavior, so that they turn all, they turn every area of activity into an occasion to um flex,
to push their, to see how far they can push their sovereignty over a given situation, to see how far they can get away with doing things that they know undermine the nervous equilibrium of people around them and yet still maintain access to resources resources like social resources, like attention and all the things that extrapolate off from that, like give you candy and ice cream and stuff like that little jerks.
So so here's just child shit tests all throughout childhood.
That's what i'm hearing, right and so so when, when you, when you misread, when a kid say he's one years old and he's throwing his food on the floor perfect perfect, perfect opportunity, do you want food to be thrown on your floor, yes or no?
If you don't, they probably know that and that's probably why they're doing it.
Every kid does this and parents are just amazing at coming up with fantastic excuses for why they do it.
I've heard, oh, their hand eye coordination isn't so good and they're missing the plate.
They're all kinds of oh.
That's how he indicates that he's done.
You know, he's just a kid and he's stupid and he's a baby and he doesn't know how to say i'm done, so he throws his food on the floor.
If any of this was real, then it wouldn't be every single kid doing this.
Now you're talking my language there viral because yeah, I hate super permissive excuse making parents with poorly behaved.
You have to yes, what you have to do here.
The child is begging you, is inviting you.
Here's a thing that I have a pretty good sense.
You don't want to happen.
I'm one.
You're bigger and stronger and faster than me.
What are you going to do about it.
The expectation is that it's not going to be nothing.
The expectation is you're going to do whatever you have to do, just like you.
If your refrigerator door is open and you want it shut, you close it.
You do what you have to do in order to cause that which you desire to be in the environment, to be what is in the environment.
And the kid just needs to get you to do that with them, toward them, so that they can get a sense of what flies and doesn't fly in terms of what's going to keep them in good standing in the environment, the laws of my universe.
Yeah, now to be fair, Rollo still throws his food on the floor when he's in a snit.
So that's, you know.
More evidence that you're really getting nip with stuff in the bud yep.
So what you do, what you do, it's perfect.
Nature gives this to you.
Just like nature makes you want to do the thing that makes children exist.
Nature also makes it easy for you to figure out how to raise them properly at this stage by making it obvious to you what you want and don't want to happen in the environment and getting them to do behaviors that elicit responses that accord with that.
And so go ahead.
Yep.
Anyway, you go ahead.
Yeah, I was going to say.
So let's put that in the context of the picky eater now.
Now, we're unfortunately, you know, we're well over the Rubicon or whatever.
It's too late for us, you know, but there's other parents out there who could perhaps be helped.
So when you, you know, typical situation, you know, you're having not, we're not having spinach and like bull testicles for dinner, right?
It's like chicken and rice and a little light salad and kid just folds his arms and says, nope, don't want to.
Now, should I go to the fridge and get ham?
Or should I say, okay, that's what's for dinner.
If you don't like it, you're not eating tonight.
So I'll talk about the foundations for this and we can talk about the specific responses after that because it's different at different ages.
It becomes more difficult when the child gets older because they get better at, you know, at getting around you.
I know.
So it's tough.
Yep.
Basically, the basic difference that you're looking at is the child is going to default to making themselves of benefit to the preferences of people around them, or they're going to default to making themselves a liability to those.
There's really not much in between.
It's one or the other.
If they find that they're not getting consistent boundaries and all their energy is going into getting better at testing them, that becomes the foundation for their social persona.
It becomes the foundation for their understanding of how to maintain access to resources by just extorting them, by being annoying.
If being annoying gets you attention, that's positive reinforcement.
So things like eating.
So what that basically means is that a child is going to use their sense of what the grown up, who they've come, let's say, to trust and rely upon and therefore respect.
They're using their understanding of what is wanted of them from that person as their guide for what to do.
And the parents make the mistake of thinking, does my child like this or does my child not like this?
And the thing is, during this stage of development, it's the job of the parent to determine the parameters of what is going to be liked by children.
And we talk about neurochemical regulation in that regard.
You're getting a little fascist there, Doc.
I like it.
Yeah, go ahead.
Exactly.
So, yes.
So a kid not eating what you want them to eat is a way of them testing the extent to which they can not do the thing that they understand is desired of them.
And if you, if when children are raised in this way, a problem is that it becomes ambiguous as to whether your kid really likes or quote unquote dislikes something or if they're just shit testing how much of a go screw yourself they can get away with.
Interesting.
Yeah, I feel like our first, just, you know, for an example, like our first two, we didn't have half the challenges, difficulties acting out as we did with our youngest.
And our youngest, don't let me, you met him and he's short.
Sure, you know, he's handsome and all that stuff.
But yeah, I wonder if the kids were different or if we got a little bit lazier and me in particular got more permissive and more of a pushover in my old age.
I suspect it's probably more of the latter than the former.
But anyway.
No, good stuff.
So I, for example, so I never, it's hard for me sometimes to say like, here's what you do with this problem because I just nip them in the bud before they can become problems.
I've never dealt with picky eaters because I'm dealing with children, especially if I have them from a young age, because they respect me, their default, what they like and what they want is to do the thing that they understand is desired of them.
And there are certain foods that kids just really don't like.
And I'll give them a certain degree of choice and they might like something and not like something, but I never have it where kids are just defiant and all I want is macaroni cheese and stuff like that.
I always assume that if that's the case, it's because of a deficit of that trust and that respect that is established during, especially the second year.
You'll find me in the bathroom.
Yep.
It's all my fault.
Thanks, big guy.
No, that's good.
Yep.
Hey, for the parents who've got the young ones, there you go.
Stay consistent.
Stay firm.
Don't let them set the rules of the game.
Don't be afraid of tears, right?
You don't want to raise a spoiled brat.
Not that I think.
Right.
If you're afraid of tears and you're, if you're afraid of tears and you think that your job is to make your kid laugh and not cry, you're going to signal to your child that your job is to, you know, keep them from, is to respond, you know, with a lot of worry and consolation when they cry so that you're just telling them, hey, cry all the time and you get more stuff.
Cry all the time and you get more attention.
And kids that I work with doing it the way that I do it, one of the benefits is you know that a child is only going to signal distress when there's actual distress, because I make it very clear that signaling distress isn't going to like get you something just for signaling it.
Sure.
Fair enough.
We're going to stay on track here.
Got to move on to a couple other points and we can revisit some of this stuff in the second half for sure.
Parents, aside from picky eating and potty training, et cetera, I suspect that good parents worry a ton about the screen time question.
No more than two hours, the tablets, the TV, the video gaming, et cetera.
How worried, how problematic is that?
Should parents be more worried, less worried?
Rules of the game, anything you've learned from screen time observation?
It's really the same basic thing.
I personally would be, I tend to be wary of screen time, especially, you know, when the brain is developing.
Super young.
I think it's kind of weird to be having a kid like shoving their attention into this thing that is, you know, it's, it's giving them a lot, a very different matrix, say, of like nutrients neurologically, but cognitively than just like, you know, IRL is.
I don't know what the significance of that is.
Maybe kids that just get nothing but screen time are going to be better at whatever kind of bionic thing we're becoming later.
I don't know.
But I think the real thing to look at is if you're worried about it, is it that you don't want your kids to have screen time?
But if you don't give them a certain amount or something, it's going to be a problem.
They're going to, you know, they're going to make it a problem.
If that's the case, then you have created a situation where you're allowing your children to hold you hostage.
And it's going back to the fact that it's your job to make determinations about what does and doesn't happen in your household.
And so if you don't like when I work with kids and when I raise kids, they get as much screen time as I want them to have.
And it's never an issue because they know perfectly because they trust.
They trust without mitigation that this environment that I'm administering for them is going to consist of exactly what I want it to consist of.
And so again, it's just foundational.
If you set that foundation, there's no problem.
You don't have to like haggle about these things.
Yep.
Sands are reason for hundreds of thousands of years we didn't have that type of audiovisual stimulation at all, let alone for extended hours of the day.
So less, less is more.
I suspect that you are a big nurture more than nature guy, but we alluded at the top to vastly different outcomes with children from virtually the same upbringing.
You buy that.
How do you differentiate between it?
Do you think saying nature over nurture is like a lazy parent's way of saying, well, you know, they'll turn out the way that they have.
But of course, there is the Brian Kaplan and the identical twin studies that, you know, you have identical twins that get adopted into different families.
And one goes to a rich family, one goes to a poor, perhaps rougher around the edges family.
And the identical twins have virtually identical life outcomes.
Any thoughts on that?
I mean, I would say generally speaking, what nature does is it gives you the potentials.
And what nurture does is determines the extent to which a given potential is going to be fulfilled or atrophy.
You know, it's that kind of thing, right?
Yeah, I equate it to the other.
So they occupy different.
Yeah, you can have a high horsepower engine doesn't mean that you're going to go fast.
Yeah, that doesn't mean you're going to fast.
And so what I see and what's really worrying in my work is that kids, they're perfectly healthy, normal, regular kids.
They've got all these potentials and the potentials atrophy.
And specifically, they are potentials that I think you'd call pro-social potentials for things like conscientiousness.
Also potentials that sort of radiate out from there.
It's not necessarily obvious that they're founded on pro-sociality, but things like attention span, things like aesthetic sensitivity are also founded on the fulfillment of those pro-social potentials.
Things like articulateness.
So speech delays.
I've never seen speech delays that weren't obviously a result of laxity in the trustworthiness of parents to provide consistent structure.
Because, for example, I mean, just to be brass tax about it, if you are raising your kid in such a way that they can point to something and grunt and you leap to give it to them, you know, you're always trying to interpret, well, what do they want?
And parents make themselves fulfillers of desire.
And that's something that's happened with culture where consumerism has displaced traditional cultures, which was hierarchical.
Under consumerism, it's like, well, the highest good is figuring out what people want and giving it to them.
So that's where people get their sense of what it is to be a good parent.
And you actually notice this, there's a clue to this when you watch parents and how frequently their utterances to their children are predicated on some permutation of do you want.
I mean, that just seems like a normal thing, but I think it's an artifact of very recent developments in culture.
I do that all the time with tax.
Yeah, would you like a cheese stick?
Would you like some apple slices?
Would you like to play?
Now we're going off on it.
We can come back to the question or we can continue going off on this tangent.
You'll have to remind me what it was.
Yeah, the question.
Well, what was the question was about, yeah, I was already looking at my next one.
But yeah, no, yeah, it was originally about picky eaters.
And then it morphed into something else that I've had.
That's all right.
So how about this?
Parents worry endlessly these days, probably more than in the olden days, about their development, speech, potty training, walking, et cetera.
Sometimes for good reasons.
Sometimes they're just, you know, oh, he's a little slower on this one.
And then they freak out, especially with their firsts.
I will give you a quick success story, though, buddy.
And I don't know if I did it right, but it worked.
Our youngest had a longer difficulty with certain pronunciations, the S's and the THs, for longer than our other kids.
And it started to get frustrating.
And I would start to, I would correct, you know, work.
We would have to work on silly Sally had a snake and sometimes he would shut down and sometimes he would go along with it.
It was pretty inconsistent, but, you know, as he got, you know, into, I said, all right, you know, we're talking pre-K, K, we got to get this fixed.
And he eventually, he's almost got it down now to the point where we've eliminated it just sort of through brute force correction.
I guess.
So that's one example of working and being consistent and it worked out.
But what are some like, do parents worry about this stuff too much?
Or what are some warning signs?
Oh, man, it might be time for a speech therapist or, oh, man, this kid might have like serious developmental issues, red flags, perhaps, I guess, or whatever.
Now, this is an area that's very difficult for me because I work with working with kids from around, let's say, four to six months up through about three years.
My work is focused on nipping this stuff in the bud by setting the proper foundations and making so that's not an issue, you know, down the line.
So what I was saying about articulateness is that if you allow a kid to just sort of grunt inarticulately and throw yourself into the breach to provide for them whatever you think they want instead of insisting that they make themselves better understood.
And this is around 18 months when this is appropriate.
If you don't insist that the child makes himself better understood to maintain access to resources by which they're getting a sense of whether or not, you know, it's their, their, um, their habits are, are sufficient, then they're not incentivized to, um, to develop that.
And in fact, they're going to be incentivized not to development because then they need to find out how little articulateness they can get away with and still maintain that access.
So yeah, so that's my work.
And that takes place earlier in terms of dealing with it later, some version of shifting from what would you, what would you call, I don't usually say permissiveness, but some version of coming into an understanding of how these dynamics actually work and that the child needs consistency and they need you to hold boundaries instead of moving them away when they get pushed on.
Some version of that is usually the way to approach any given issue that arises later on.
I like it.
And it's a lot harder work, frankly, than being a pushover.
It's different.
Well, it's also more rewarding because you see amazing results.
It means that you can take your, not only can you take your kid out into public or restaurant or whatever, and they're not going to wreck the place or they're not going to try to being as annoying as possible, but they're going to be utterly delightful and people around are going to be delighted by their presence and they're going to signal that delight and they're going to do it authentically and it's going to positively reinforce those skills, those pro-social skills.
Now, you are working with other people's young children, which stands to reason that they are out of mom or dad's care for a long time.
A lot of our guys think, you know, absolutely no daycare.
You know, mom stays home and raises that child at minimum up until say, you know, pre-K or kindergarten years.
Usually school starts off for a few hours a day before they go into kindergarten full day.
Is that not the work?
You know, is having your kid in daycare or out of mom and dad's hands for a long period of time?
It's not necessarily detrimental if they're in good care, but however you want to address that question for the audience.
I mean, as far as I can tell, that's about right.
It depends.
There's just variables.
It depends.
I mean, most ghetto kinder care is not going to be good for little Sally or Johnny.
You don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe it'll give them some character.
Maybe it'll because children need to experience adversity.
They need it.
They need to expect.
Now, that doesn't mean that every kind of adverse, oh, my child needs adversity.
Okay, here it plays with some razor blades.
No.
But they absolutely need to experience situations that challenge them, that make them have to do work in order to figure out how to adjust themselves agreeably to a situation.
They could learn the MF word, you know, early.
That's good.
Yeah, exactly.
There's certain, yes, there's benefits.
There's a lot of variables and children aren't necessarily getting at home what they need, especially in terms of the adversity that require if you're throwing your food on the floor and your parent,
their default is to make excuses or if you're trying to push buttons and the parent is just receding all the time instead of stepping up to their actually actual role and giving you a structure that you have to work against in order to build your cognitive capacities to behave conscientiously and agreeably, then there's something that you're missing at home.
Are they getting?
Yeah, our sharpest kid went.
He was the only one who went to daycare from the month of, yeah, he was three months old when we were both working.
We had to put him in daycare and he's the sharpest one of the bunch.
Now, of course, part of that is, you know, whatever he was endowed with genetically, but a lot of times I beat myself up.
Oh, maybe he would be more loving and caring if he wasn't stuck in daycare from a little baby and getting separation and variables.
I mean, just as a blanket thing, you can't really say it's up or down.
It could be beneficial.
It could be problems.
Now, I'm curious, what are the problems, though?
When people say that's no way am I putting my kid in daycare, like what do they think that the problems are?
Abuse is probably the number one thing.
And then just, you know, being sad about, you know, dumping the kid off for someone else's care.
That is, that's over exaggerated.
Parents worry about that is over exaggerated, that, that latter thing.
Now, if there's nasty stuff happening there and that's why the kid doesn't want to go, that's a different issue.
Of course.
But if you, if you feel like you can be fairly confident that they are actually, you know, doing that, they're actually working and they're actually, they know what they're doing and they are looking out for the best interest of the kid.
I mean, that, if that's what it is, then no, that's not an issue.
Worrying about the child is going to cry when you drop them off and stuff.
It's like, yeah, that's, that's tough.
But it's, that's also, that's an experience that carries a lot of emotional depth.
And it's not necessarily unhealthy for a small child to have to absorb that and adjust because they do adjust.
Yeah.
Life is hard.
Yeah.
Welcome to the sun.
So I would be more concerned if a parent is just like way too concerned that their child signals distress about something and therefore it's not going to happen.
That to me is a lot more of a problem.
I understand your philosophy a lot better now.
And I'm a lot, frankly, a little bit surprised.
I thought you were going to be a little bit more hippy-dippy on the give them this, give them that.
But what I'm hearing is actually a little bit more authoritarian consistency.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Set the boundaries.
Yes, don't let things violate them.
Yeah.
Well, and the children ask you.
The children demand this of you.
It's just that contemporary parents misread the demand as basically the opposite of what it is.
Yeah.
Getting their own as a request to recede, as a request to stand down, as opposed to as a request to show me that your preference, your adult capacity to assess and respond and administer can be trusted and relied upon as a consistent guide to the parameters of the social environment such that I can build an identity which defaults to behaviors that are going to maintain me in good stead.
Amen.
Sam, are you picking up what he's throwing down?
You liking what he's dishing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's good.
And I think we should definitely continue some of this into the second hour because I feel like as Vrill has gone on, he's like been warming up and he's really giving us some good stuff right now.
See, I talked to him.
I told him he's going to have to dumb it down a little bit for me, certainly not for the audience.
All right, let me put it in ways that coach can understand.
Quick question for you, buddy.
Do you have an opinion on homeschool versus public private school?
I know it's, you know, it gets into the out years that are not necessarily your bailiwick, but just curious.
I mean, I think it also depends.
You know, there can be pros and cons to either.
You know, the complaints that I hear about homeschool, of course, I'm around a bunch of libtards and they're not supposed to like homeschool because it's something that rhydoids do.
Right.
So the complaints that I hear are that the kids are insufficiently socialized or they're kind of become weird sort of children of the corn, sort of Mormon-esque kind of weird shut-ins that can't socialize and can't roll with.
Once again, I would say that's, you know, where you have large families, the socialization is better because when in your life did you have to relate to 30 other people your own age, you know, that never is the answer.
So, but yeah, there is, I would say, maybe that danger in a very small family type situation.
But I think that a lot of homeschool people, well, I'll just speak for myself.
Homeschooling is more of an ameliorative to avoid bad things, you know, avoiding that your kids would be in a gang or avoiding a school shooting, avoiding that your kids being exposed to drug use or indoctrinated into transsexualism.
Yeah, all of that type of thing.
Whereas, whereas in a, and, and so the problem is we don't trust the system.
That's the problem.
So when I used to travel for a living and you'd get to know people, you ask different polite questions.
I say, oh, I have, you know, they, oh, how many kids do you have?
Oh, seven kids.
Oh, wow.
And then I say, well, then, you know, they're all homeschooled.
Oh, my gosh.
I don't know if I could ever do that.
Well, listen, I always come back.
Listen, I'm not saying I'm doing any kind of good job of it by any means, but it's more of avoiding certain other things.
And looking at my children that have gone all the way through the system and everything, there are certain things that I wish maybe they had a little bit more of some of those school experiences, like being in the school play or playing in the school band or being on the football team or whatever it is.
And now homeschooling has become so big that, for instance, now we are in a homeschooling group where they do have plays and musicals and choirs and other things.
So it's getting better.
But so homeschooling is not a panacea.
It's not a solution for all problems, but it's maybe a relief for certain problems.
Yeah, we've all and we've all seen weirdo homeschool kids and brilliant homeschool kids.
We've all seen weirdo public school kids and brilliant public school kids.
Absolutely.
A lot of factors there.
I've got one more here before we go to the break, big guy.
And I'm hesitant to offer you the DJ booth, but coming from your weird California underground music scene.
But maybe for the think about it.
We'll give them the clothes.
I got one teed up for the break, but something else for you to think about while we're interviewing you.
No worries, Verl.
I know internet's been a little bit spotty, but the corporal punishment question.
We've talked about this on the show at length.
Long time ago, I postulated that it should be like it was Bill Clinton's reference to abortion, safe, legal, and rare, that corporal punishment, and in my mind, a spank on the ass is as far as it should go, safe, legal, and rare.
What do you think about the old ass crack when they're being deliberately insubordinate in a nasty way?
Or more typically, I think most spankings in our house were being excessively rough or careless with a sibling.
I'm totally anti- or pro.
I think my attitude is about letting the, I don't like to say punishment because I don't do punishment, but let the letting the punishment fit the crime, to put it, you know, colloquially, which is where, like when a child is testing, testing boundaries, being annoying on purpose, doing things that they know you're not going to like, disruptive, et cetera.
What you have to do is to stop them from being able to do that in order to show them that you're, that that parameter is solid and can be relied upon and doesn't, you don't have to keep testing because they can expect it to be enforced regardless.
If that enforcement, a lot and a lot of times the, the, the mechanism of that enforcement is physical, you know, like you pick up a child and move them somewhere else or you, you know, things like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So something like swatting a kid in response to them having done something just doesn't fortunately, because obviously the people I work for don't want me to be doing that.
It just doesn't come up as necessary because it doesn't escalate to that point because I kind of nip it in the bud.
But as a I think corporal punishment generally, especially nowadays, gets maybe a worse rap than it deserves just in general.
But it's also, yeah, again, I find it's fortunately unnecessary for me.
Yeah, yeah, it's not an option for you, but I think for some parents, my classic example was either Junior being way too rough with his sister, pushing him down, had a friend said, yeah, I caught my son or daughter giving a kick to the head of our young baby the other day.
That earned a crack in the ass.
And then, of course, after Potato and I had planted flowers, this two or three years ago, there haven't been any spankings in this house mercifully for a couple of years.
That might have been the last one.
We had just planted these beautiful flowers.
He helped me with it.
And then I said, whatever you do, please be careful.
Don't step on the flowers.
I could understand a mistake.
But then he went and stomped and danced all the flowers immediately after that earned a crack in the ass.
That's another example.
So yeah, for example, like if I set a boundary like that, I only do it when I know when I have a good sense of how I'm going to respond when they then try to do the thing that they were told not to do.
If I tell the kid, don't step on those flowers, I get close enough to them that when they inevitably go and try to do it, I just grab them by the arm and yank them away.
And I do it quite forcefully in a way that, in a way that registers my disgust with the fact that this is what's happening.
And that's communicated.
And they get the message.
They get the message, A, that because I said this isn't going to happen, it isn't, regardless of what that, by hook or by crook, whatever I have to do to make it actually not happen, I'm going to do that.
So it's not a retaliatory thing.
It's I'm enacting the boundary that I set physically.
Yep.
Makes sense to me.
You don't have to answer now, but if there is a book or books that you have read that you think white American, anyway, any parent should read about early childhood development or later development, I'd be happy to put them in the show notes.
If you got one on the tip of your tongue, have at it right now.
Yeah, there probably are, but I am thoroughly illiterate.
I'm almost deliberately illiterate on the subject, because i've been doing it for so long that by the time I started to actually study, I was very unimpressed with at least the kind of the rudimentary stuff.
Um, because I had discovered things in a very organic way and have developed my own way of dealing with stuff and so the the kind of entry-level things about early child development I was, I was really just sort of unimpressed with, and so I kind of determined to avoid reading or academia, because I didn't want my work to be responsive to someone else's shtick and I wanted to develop my own.
So there's probably good books out there.
It's interesting that you mentioned Kevin Mcdonald.
Um, his early work was in early child psychology, that's right, and I actually have his book on early, so I haven't read it.
I started to read it but I haven't gone through it.
Uh, it might be good.
I don't know if it would contain any kind of information of the sort that you're looking for, like parenting and stuff.
It's more academic but um, there's probably good books out there.
There's probably some good books out there and a lot of terrible ones.
Yep, I believe that.
All right.
Well, if anything yeah, i'll look for that Kmac book.
He mentioned that when he was on the show and he offered to come back.
I I I emailed him a while back and he didn't respond, but I think he's just getting.
Uh well whatever, maybe he missed it.
Um, all right, let's go to the break.
Uh, we still got to find out your, your favorite childhood memory, Vrill Smith name, by the way.
Uh yeah, I gave you a heads up about that.
One didn't spring it on you uh, but you got time to think about it.
We're going out to a beautiful song called kids, and it's not kids by MGMT, it's kids by ONE Republic.
It's a beautiful song.
If any of you call me a fag for playing this at the break, I don't care.
I love this song and uh, be good parents.
We'll be back with Sam Rollo and Vrill Smith for more of that.
And we got some good stuff from the audience and a few other things to talk about too.
Don't go anywhere.
we were done.
I remember we were sleeping in cars, we were searching for odds, we were binding cigars with the white plastic clips till we saw the sun just because they're younger days.
I don't know what's round the corner where I feel right now.
I swear we'll never change back when we were kids, Out
and perfect disasters.
Yeah, we were swinging, swinging from the rafters.
We were dancing cars, we were looking for eyes.
We were naming the stars after beep booming until we had to go.
And we were saying things like, I don't used to look back thinking days were better just because the younger days round the corner where I feel right now.
I swear they'll never change.
Back when we were kids, when we kept dancing, changing all our plans, making every day a holiday.
Feel the east star burning, city lights that turning.
But something about this feels the same.
Back when we were kids.
Swear we would never die.
You and me were kids.
Swear there will never die.
I was used to look back thinking days were better just because the longer days.
You and me were kids.
And welcome back to Full House, episode 179, Early Childhood Development Edition.
And I think that we started to make some good progress there with our pal Veryl Smith, who is back with us in the second half.
I perhaps was being dense.
Perhaps he was being a little too technical.
I told you he was a bit of a galaxy brain on these things.
So we figured it out.
Touching.
And I think we provided some good advice for the parents there.
My takeaways were: those early years are crucial in establishing boundaries, rules, if you want to call them, and being consistent and not being a pushover.
And I joked during the break that, you know, with our youngest, I was just, he was our last baby and he was cute.
And we're not going to have another one.
So I was perhaps a little too permissive, a little too, well, if you, you know, just given him what he wanted.
My wife has always been a little bit more of a hard ass on the parenting than me, although I generally am hunky-dory until I'm not.
And then I can crank it up to 11 if there's a serious issue that needs to be corrected.
But I can only take so much self-doubt.
So Verilla, anything else I'm doing wrong, just tell me after the show.
Don't tell me.
Oh.
I mean, you met our kids.
They're pretty good kids.
So, you know, like whether it's genetics or our parenting styles, we don't know.
We'll see.
Let's do new white life here.
VC in the comment zone.
Let us know that he has his first one on the way at the age of 42.
Way to go, old balls.
Yes.
There you go.
Keep it going.
I just, I just.
Yeah, we can keep going until our 70s and our 80s.
And Sam plans to.
Incentives.
Yeah, we don't have egg cartons to worry about.
just keeping those boys swimming and letting those boys hang.
Not too up.
All right, I should stop.
I'll stop there.
Another gray beard, Sax Beard, let us know that he just had his third child at the age of 40 and not just in the 40s, but after a successful vasectomy reversal.
Yeah, there you go.
Pulling it out.
Don't cut your ball tubes, bros.
Just don't do it.
Don't do it.
Whatever they're called.
Don't do it.
But it goes to show they can be reversed and cut again and reversed, as we know from Michael Scott.
All right.
And also, we got a lovely email here.
I don't know if I cut that.
Anyway, nice comment from somebody.
Hello.
I want to start by saying that I love your show and a more positive show like yours is a constant breath of fresh air because it's only one of its kind as far as I know.
And then I think this is a second message.
Greetings from Finland.
I am a 36-year-old man with a two-year-old daughter with my 33-year-old wife.
I wish I had found your show sooner since it definitely would have made me think of having children sooner.
I wasted a lot of my life being a nihilist bordering on communist.
I found National Socialism a few years ago.
And while I am still not the perfect Aryan warrior, don't worry about it, buddy, who amongst us is, I am a lot better than I was before reading Adolf Hitler.
We and the woman, or me and the woman, are expecting our second child any day now.
I'd like to have at least three kids.
And if I could go back and change things, we would have had five or six.
Still, considering how poorly I lived a large part of my life, I consider everything above zero to be a huge gift from the all-father.
He says, hail, victory, hail, seeger.
Must be a big Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet fan there.
And then he followed up a couple days later.
He had his daughter, beautiful baby girl, in the crib.
So congratulations to our new Finnish pal.
That was so kind.
Well, you know what?
We hear that a lot from people.
Oh, if only I had done this or that, or if only I had known sooner.
But you know what?
Whatever day that you figured out and start doing the thing that you should have been doing, that's the best day right there.
Bingo.
Yep.
We talked about picky eating being one of the most common complaints.
And I wish I started earlier being by far probably the most common lament that we got.
So for you young guys out there, you not only have good knees and good operating systems, but you got time and you're hearing us now to say, get going.
Don't wait too long.
You don't want to rush it and just go have a kid right out of the gate with some trollop.
No one is glad they waited longer.
No one is glad they waited longer.
I think that's probably right.
Yep.
Yeah, I'm sure there's some teenage moms out there who are like, I should have waited a little longer, but whatever.
Okay, and we got one more new white life.
Anon wanted to let us know that he's got his second on the way.
Super pumped.
Wifey thinks it's a son.
If I said his sock name, most of you would recognize it.
But he's people to know that his sock name is having a second one.
That's okay, buddy.
Congratulations.
we're happy for you his name is thomas uh fitzgerald and he lives in no that just made that up I really stepped in it if that chance happens to be his name.
I have no idea what his real name is.
All right.
Before we get back to Vrill and parenting, Sam's got a lot of questions for Vrill too.
We got one from the audience I wanted to put up here near the top.
All right.
So I am in a situation I've never been in.
I should have seen it from a mile away, but here goes.
We moved my brother-in-law to my state so he could escape the hell that is life in his big East Coast city.
He's a young man, but he was raised in a hectic environment and had a messed up childhood and he didn't develop as a man.
He's weak.
He's a new male.
He's got no sense of anything.
How do you reach someone like this?
Sad thing is, I am probably this young guy's only hope.
I'll let you guys all chime in on this for the new lost beta male in your life.
But I started with make sure he's eating well and exercising and getting sunlight, right?
You got to work on the physical stuff first.
But tips for this guy.
Trying to be like a big brother, essentially.
Yeah, it's young men are in a, in often in a bad kind of a situation.
People don't necessarily learn skills or important life things, which is what this sounds like.
You know, this, you know, he's just kind of floating around in the world.
I would say he needs, and we don't have enough information maybe to say everything, but he's got to get engaged with learning a trade, learning a skill, getting involved in doing something useful, and then trigger him with some like the thing I've used on people is the everyday channel.
I know the guy's not doing it anymore, but it was a real treasure trove through the years because, you know, somebody who says to me, oh, how are you doing?
Oh, you want to know how I'm doing?
Here, I'm not doing too well because look at this story, you know.
So you trigger people with the outrages against our race, things like that.
There's something latent in this man, some some manliness that needs to be drawn out.
So by getting him involved in life, you know, maybe this, wherever this guy works, maybe you can get him a job there.
Maybe you can get him, you know, waking up at the crack of dawn and having to get going and force yourself to do something when you're tired and cold.
That gets you going, you know, that gets the testosterone going.
And responsibility.
Yeah, getting interested in the things of life that are important, getting angry and passionate about the things we care about, becoming a man.
Think about Regulator, you know, the guy that was going to donate his kidney, that letter he wrote about, you know, he was going nowhere.
He was out of shape.
He was fat.
He didn't have any skills.
He was a dud with the ladies.
Turned himself around big time, you know, and so that's what I would say, something along those lines.
Yep.
If JO were on, he would say, you got to get this guy involved in some sort of MMA, even if it's a boxing game.
Teach him to punch things and get punched.
Yep.
Yes.
Now, what the writer didn't say that it was actually Rolo who moved to his town.
So, no, sorry, it just occurred to me.
Rolo's really tired and low energy tonight.
Don't dox me.
Rolo, go ahead.
You got any real quick tips for this guy?
Well, the thing is basically being a new male, it's almost like being a drug addict.
So you just need to do anything that like you treat them like they are a drug addict.
So you need to do something to get them away from the bad habits.
And once you just start them on the road of the new habits, everything else starts clicking into place because the natural form of the man is to be masculine, is to want to chop wood, lift weights, work bang chicks, work rigorous jobs.
Everything else is, it's just like he might as well be addicted to heroin or he might as well be an alcoholic.
So you just need to help him detox.
So just, I don't know, there's my two cents.
So what would you do to help break someone away from an addiction?
Because he's essentially addicted to being a pussy.
Yep.
It also occurred.
It's almost like real beta male status is almost like a form of depression, right?
You know, all those natural, healthy male things are just suppressed or under a cloak, you know, just like a heavy blanket on him.
And he's just addicted to being a fan.
Take him hunting, you know, put a gun in his hand.
Go shoot this thing, you know, just shooting.
Something like that.
Shoot, well, or shoot an animal, you know, kill something.
Vrill has no opinions on this.
He only has advice for two-year-olds.
But I mean, this guy sounds like me, frankly.
I'm listening to you guys.
It's like, okay, taking notes on it.
Go out to punch things.
All right.
Let me find something to punch.
I never was able to sun my balls until we moved to the country.
I swear to God, that come April when that sun goes out there and nobody's here, of course.
I'm not going to let the kids see me.
I can go out on the deck and get some actual vitamin D on these nuts.
And it's spectacular.
It's like, oh, our ancestors had it so good.
They were getting sunlight on their goods on the reg.
And that's why they had big beards and the conquering continents and stuff like that.
Get some sunlight on your balls, Jets.
You too, Vril.
Especially.
Just use like a UV light or something inside my room.
No, that's cheating.
No, you got to go outside.
Sam's got to wait until June and you got to be careful.
Not too long.
You really don't want to get a sunburn on your balls.
All right.
Pivoting back to the good stuff, because we barely scratched the surface.
Maybe my questions were not prioritized right or our Gabby Guts guest had a difficulty boiling it down for knuckleheads like me.
But let's do something fun first here.
Vrill, it sounded like you had maybe a bit of a tough childhood, but what brings a smile to your face?
The first thing that comes to your mind?
Oh, yeah.
It's funny.
You told me I would have time to think about this.
And the thing that I didn't do was think about it.
Well, now you got, go ahead.
First thing that comes to your mind.
You have a good childhood memory.
Well, as I kind of mentioned earlier, I had a lot of deep experiences as a little kid.
There was a lot of, a lot of crap.
And I think it made me go to a place in my mind that was sort of safe from all that, that was closer to the sort of essence of being or something.
I think little kids kind of have that regardless.
But the actual experiences that I remember are basically those kinds of peak or transcendent experiences as a little kid that I had that I still remember because they were so intense.
When I was around, I think three or so, I remember being in a grocery store.
And a lot of times, you know, when you're little, you have to wait for your mom to shop and stuff and you get bored.
Sure.
And I would do this thing in my mind that I called, I called it somersaults.
And what I would do is I would, in my mind, I would tell myself to look at something, but it was just a something that I was just calling into being.
I was just evoking it.
And then I would make looking at that something a something to look at.
And so I kept doing this until I had a kind of a physical sensation of like flipping over.
And these are the kinds of things probably that I would do to sort of self-soothe or something like that.
You know, it was all very kind of mystical stuff that I would come up with to give myself to do.
I think those are, those are my, my more kind of intense memories.
That's a, that's a very intellectual answer.
I haven't gotten one like that from first timers before.
So good on you.
Yeah.
No, hey, different strokes.
Sam had a bunch of questions for you.
And then you want you during the break, of course, good content always comes out when we're not recording, had some observations about how serious this is, not just for parents, but for society in terms of setting those good ground rules and boundaries and disciplines in early life will obviate some of the manifest pathologies that we see, even among our people, online and IRL with bad behavior.
For sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
I mean, just an idea.
I was going to say, I was going to ask Vril, so we gather you're working with children, young children and so forth, which is great.
Do you work with non-white children and do you have any observations about them?
I have, yeah, not very much.
My experience is that the basic principles are the same.
The nurture element is the same, but the nature element is somewhat different.
And, you know, for me, I work with what I get.
There are white kids that have different kinds of, let's say, deficits that are the product of whatever, some combination of nurture and nature.
And it might also be, you know, I was working with teenagers.
I suppose that would be a good deal different.
But I have worked with kids of different races and I've noticed somewhat differences.
I don't know if the sample size is big enough that I could say conclusively that there's a trend.
But it mostly has to do with responsivity to the solidity of boundaries and the tendency to test and the frequency of testing, that there's in like a black kid that I worked with, there was less of an ability to sort of absorb the enforcements, the corrections.
And it was almost like just in order to behave in a way that was agreeable, he had to escalate situations to the point where they got physical.
And you see this in blacks generally, you know, it's like they're not going to recognize authority as authoritative unless it's like beating the crap out of you.
And I think that's just an evolutionary thing.
You know, it's just a fundamental difference between the two kind of subspecies.
And of course, you see that a problem within the relationship of black and authority in European spaces generally, that we have set up systems of authority that enforce parameters and customs and expectations that are native to our psychology.
And when you try to apply them to an organism that has a different psychology, they're not responsive.
They need to escalate situations to the point where it's a physical confrontation because physical confrontation is the way, the inherent and natural way that they negotiate relative status as opposed to cooperation and different kinds of negotiation.
Yeah.
Go ahead, Sam, please.
How about any difference in acting out like sexually?
I almost hesitate to ask what you mean, but what I've been privy to is situations where young black children are acting already to like essentially performing a sexual assault on other children.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, that's not surprising at all.
And I don't know.
My experience doesn't tell me where the line between what's natural and what's nurtural about that might be.
Obviously, they tend to collude.
Like black parents tend to beat the crap out of their kids or you smack them upside the head, whereas, you know, a white parent would not go there from the outset.
And so it's hard to say.
You've been watching front of my stars and kids.
Yeah, exactly.
But it's also, it's natural to do that for them in response to the nature.
It's that that nurture is natural to the nature.
So it's hard to do.
That's what they need.
That's what they need.
So it's hard to say, like, well, do they escalate to the point where they're getting that because that's what they're used to?
Or is it because that's what they actually require in order to, you know, get the proper response?
So yeah, sexual precocity is known, you know, to be an element of the difference between the races.
So I wouldn't be surprised.
I haven't seen it.
Luckily, personally, I've worked with not very many black kids, and I haven't been looking specifically for those kinds of things.
It might come up a little bit later than the ages that I work with, but I certainly wouldn't be surprised if that's something that is commonly found.
Do you think it's a good idea for white parents to put them in some kind of, I don't know what you deal with, daycare or whatever, but where, you know, is it a good idea not to have your children around non-white children, especially black children?
I would assume that really the kinds of problems that you might worry about are probably going to arise a little bit later in life.
Like six-year-olds, seven-year-olds kind of thing.
I've certainly seen younger black kids causing the kinds of problems that you would expect black kids to cause in preschool settings.
And so it just depends on the ability of the adults in the room to mitigate the problems.
And how, you know, it depends on how many, you know, if you've got an equal number of black kids and white kids, like, I would not, I don't know why you would want your kid to be in something like that.
But if there's like a black kid, maybe one or two, they're probably going to have tendencies that are different, you know, that are potentially problematic.
And then it just depends on how capable the administrators are of nipping those things in the past.
Yeah.
Well, it's not going to be as much of a problem as like if you've got some 12-year-old that can go behind the bleachers and do who knows what.
That's definitely true.
And you see it definitely later in life.
And even in adults, if you work in some kind of business or some kind of plant or whatever, and you can have one black employee and they might even do an acceptable job.
But if you have two, then they start talking to each other.
You got to be careful.
And if you have three, it's playtime.
Yeah, absolutely.
We had a smattering of black kids throughout my classes growing up, Sam.
And it wasn't until sixth grade, you know, 11, 12 years old, when I literally experienced a level one chimp out.
Charles Sewell, I'll say his name.
His name is Charles Sewell.
And he, you know, he's probably not that we know of, yeah.
A real long lost brother from another mother and father.
But, you know, just out of the blue and chimp out is actually like, you know, these like snarling, brilliant white teeth and the foaming in the corners of his mouth chasing me around the playground.
I don't even think I stepped on his shoe.
You know, I was like, holy cow, that kid is dangerous.
And I was able to outrace him.
But yeah, that was my experience when they first went from nature's clowns, as Spectre infamously coined them to actual physical menaces.
But yeah, we've all seen little black kids do bad things, but it's also probably true that they're better behaved than before the testosterone starts to kick in.
I'm sure there are parents in the audience who perhaps have made some mistakes along the way and they have a poorly behaved kid and they're questioning now whether they're screwed.
I'm mostly joking about feeling guilty about being too permissive with our youngest.
But can those things be corrected later in life?
I know you don't have a lot of experience with them later on in life.
Yeah, I mean, I've got some experience and it's the same.
It's just, it becomes more of a nuanced situation later in life.
Because what kids, kids in this situation that most kids are unfortunately in now, because this is what parenting has become they are forced to base their whole social identity on transgression.
Transgressivity, that's what has consistently put them into the the the way of resources.
They've never been called upon to act pro-socially in order to maintain access to resources, and their tests of, you know trans, their transgressive tests, have not garnered the kinds of consistent and intelligible results that they've been looking for, so they've had no choice but just to keep testing and after a while that, just by the time you're three four, that has become.
Now that orientation has become the basis of your whole default.
You know behavioral um habit, so that if you're dealing with a later kid, that that's their um, that's their situation.
You have to be up, you have to pick and choose, you have to let a lot of things slide that otherwise you would try to nip in the bud, because you know if you oppose them on it, they're going to come up with 10 ways to get around that opposition and it's just going to be a lost it's.
You know it's going to be a lost effort.
So it's the same process of making, making yourself an impersonal, almost mechanistic um setter and enforcer of boundaries that make sense to you, that are reasonable, that are based on what you prefer for your environment, and recognizing when your kid is being obnoxious in order to be obnoxious, in order to enact the template that unfortunately,
the parent has provided for them for interacting where they're constantly.
They need to see how large they can make themselves in the environment, how much sovereignty they can just extort over situations.
Um, i'm still so greatly relieved because, you know, we had talked about this stuff before.
I knew that you were very thoughtful about it, but I hadn't realized where you fell on the uh, you know, on the ledger when it came to progressiveness versus more discipline.
Uh, question for you about bribery versus deprivation as a means of incentivizing or disincentivizing certain behaviors.
Uh, my mom was always a fan of keep some gummy worms on hand and when he, you know, pronounces things properly, he gets rewarded with a gummy worm and vice.
And, on the contrary, you know, if you act up, tablet goes away for as long as necessary, or the remote control goes away, or the things that they like.
What do you think about that in terms of.
I don't like any of that stuff, I don't use it, I don't like it.
Um, what you have to do is establish yourself.
So yeah, incentive.
Um, what you have to do is establish yourself and I, you know, i'm like I said at the beginning, all my answers to all these questions are the same answer, if you establish yourself as consistent and reliable, as a determinant, a determiner of the social viability of the child on the basis of their behavior, they're going to, their development is going to cause them to default, to making themselves agreeable of what they understand your preferences to be,
which just preempts any need for either of those things.
Because the incentive, yeah, the incentive then becomes, am I doing what is expected and desired of me?
That's what's inherently incentivized because they're looking to remain viable socially.
And if they know that your expectations, your preferences are going to be what happens in the environment consistently, not that you have to do, not that you have to enforce boundaries about every single thing.
You just have to do it consistently enough during that, especially that second year.
When you say no, it has to not be allowed to happen.
If you, you know, that's it.
And there has no equivocation.
Don't explain.
Kids don't care about your explanations.
If you're explaining your, if you're trying to explain your reasons for setting and enforcing a boundary, all you're doing is telling the child that you're not so sure.
You're trying to pep talk yourself.
Kid doesn't care about your explanations.
It's just blah, blah, it's like, it's like Charlie Brown's teacher.
It's just want, want, want.
It's just, okay, this person is making a noise that's telling me that there's more to this boundary than just it's a no.
And so then I am compelled, if I'm a kid, I'm compelled to try to explore the extent to which that extra noise making for me constitutes an in to try to wedge some space between the saying of the no and the allowing of the yes.
So just don't do that.
Just make your no no.
And if you do that consistently enough, what that does is it calibrates the neurochemical equilibrium of the child to associating that social viability with agreeableness at an early age.
So later, when you have to potty train, when you're feeding your kid, when you're anything that involves you're trying to get your kid, when you child is running toward the street and you say stop, ask yourself as a new parent or an almost parent, picture yourself your kids four.
If your kid starts running toward the street, do you want them to stop when you say stop, or do you want your saying stop to be their cue to do exactly the opposite?
And if you want, if you want, if you want them to be able to you know, to be responsive to your cues, then all you have to do is just be consistent during that uh, that that crucial time, and then their lives could depend on it.
Well, they could.
I mean they probably won't, because they're only going to push so far.
They're not going to end.
It's not worth the candle to mess with you because they're just trying to test you out.
They're not trying to get run over but and you know, kids are more aware than they're often given credit for yeah, but it's not that they're even so much that their lives could depend on it but like, the health of society depends on it.
So what are you trying to contribute to the world in the form of your parenting, so it preempts any needs to use other incentives other than you know me.
You know i'm the guy that makes decisions about what happens in this environment and your neurochemical equilibrium is calibrated to being an asset.
Set to that instead of a detriment, instead of a liability.
And so that later on in life, when they understand that you want them to use a toilet or whatever, and you don't have to be a jerk about any of this stuff.
That just muddies the waters.
Don't be a jerk.
But when you're potty training and when it's time to eat and stuff like that, then they will, they'll help you out.
They'll meet you halfway instead of having to be bribed.
Kind of an elegant yet simple formula you got there for setting them up for success and yourself for success too.
How about ADHD kids, medicating them and autism?
Any experience with them?
I presume you're skeptical of the Adderall and Riddling for kids.
Autism is a different horse of a different color.
Well, we are talking about with this particular brand of nurture.
We are talking about neurochemistry and I don't know the science of it.
But the only reason that I incorporate that is because I have direct experience and probably everybody does and some people might be more aware of this in their cell themselves than others between what they call dysregulation and regulation.
You know, when you're neurologically dysregulated, there's stress and various things like that.
So the work that I do, I think does have implications for things that are sort of clinically diagnosed later on.
Certainly attention deficit disorder, definitely, because the deficit of attention has to do with, in my experience, has to do with the kid is forced to constantly be scanning the environment for what they can do to run this test because they're not getting consistent results that they can then internalize and rest on that and expect and rely that the structure that they internalized is going to apply.
And it does apply.
The structure that you internalize when the boundaries are consistent does apply when you go out into the world and interact with people.
And they show you that by being genuinely delighted by your presence.
So you don't have to keep casting about for where can I, you know, where can I shove my sovereignty in order to try to figure out where the boundaries are.
At a certain, after a certain age, it doesn't matter where the boundaries are anymore.
That just becomes the inherent momentum of the personality.
And that's where you get a lack of attention span.
Makes sense.
Sam Rollo, any other questions for Vrill and have at it now.
If not, I want to ask him if he thought there's anything that I missed to really join.
I'd say go on to your question.
All right.
Vrill, what do you think?
I know you've got sort of an all-encompassing view here, but any tidbits, things that come to mind that we didn't touch on for the expecting parents, future parents, or ones who have young ones under the roof right now?
I think the challenge for parents, people who are going to be parents, people who are parents now is that we no longer have, again, the womb.
I use the image of a womb a lot in thinking about this stuff.
We no longer have the womb of what has been traditional society to show us, to give us a model for how to manifest hierarchical kinds of hierarchical influence to play the role that is appropriate to us as whatever it is that we are in society.
Consumerism says that everybody gets what they want.
What's important is what you want.
If you're not getting what you want, that's bad.
Getting what you want is good.
And everybody's dollar is as good as everybody else's everywhere.
So you don't, we are, we're not getting from society as a whole a picture of what it means to be the person who's supposed to be the one who knows how the sausage is made and therefore is in a position to make decisions about how, for example, your household works.
Everybody has internalized this sense of like, far be it from me to be making those executive decisions.
I just, and so the default is to look for to a mere child for permission to be a parent, to set boundaries.
You're looking for, well, what do they want?
And again, watch parents with their kids.
How often do you say, do you want?
Do you want?
And so just find that in yourself.
The challenge is that society is not giving that to you, but it's still necessary.
Your child is still this thing that has evolved over however many hundreds of years or hundreds of thousands of years.
And they have these trait potentials.
And if you think that is important for white people to be white, these are the traits that make it matter.
The ones that are being atrophied right now, the pro-social ones, the ones that make you intelligent, the ones that make you articulate, the ones that make you considerate, conscientious.
If those attributes atrophy into oblivion, you could biologically be white, but in effect, you're basically abolishing whiteness in your own home.
And I see people on the far right doing this no less than libtards.
So as a parent, what you want to do is figure out how to bolster your ability to provide those nutrients, even though you're living in a cultural dead space.
And you're not getting a sense of the rightness of that hierarchical influence from society at large.
You've got to bootstrap yourself into it.
And so be aware of your nervous responses when you get nervous.
If you're nervous and you don't know what you're doing as your kid falls down or there's something happening, if you display that, you're putting your kid into a state of anxiety because you're supposed to be on top of it.
And in a traditional society, you're perfectly comfortable.
It's normal for you to be on top of it.
You squirt out a bunch of kids, half of them die, whatever.
But your duty is to the society as a whole and playing your role.
But consumerism doesn't give you one.
The only thing that gives you a role is your kids.
So that's why the hierarchy is inverted.
So parents, instead of looking to society for what it means to fulfill a role, they look to their kids and the kid is looking to you.
So if you're becoming a parent, you're going to be a parent, or maybe if you are, your child is really, you know, you're still in on the ground floor.
The first and perhaps most important thing is self-awareness.
You're not going to get the model for free.
You have to understand your own nervous responses.
Your kid definitely understands your nervous responses.
Your child is building a map of your nervous system, especially for the first year.
And in the second year, when they have to grow their social identity, they're going to refer to that map in pushing against the points of it that they expect to get a response on because it's going to bother you.
So what you have to do is figure out a way to not be bothered.
You can be bothered internally.
I'm annoyed and bothered and worried and uncertain about a lot of my responses to children.
But outwardly, what I need to give to them is a consistent and clear sense that I'm going to make a decision and it's just going to happen and it's going to be fine.
So experiment with that.
Like I see, you see parents out, like I see parents at the grocery store and they're constantly say like a child is sitting in the cart and for some reason the parent wants the child not to sit in the cart.
So what they do is they say, do you want to get out of the cart?
Can we, can we do this?
So experiment with this.
Find yourself doing this and try to find situations where you can, instead of that, just internally, you decide you want this to happen.
Just make it happen.
Pick the child up, put them on the ground.
Now, if you've been the kind of parent that is constantly deferring to the child, they're going to object to that.
They're going to be like, hold up.
Hold up.
This is not how this goes.
Who are you?
You ask me for permission to be a parent.
You don't just make decisions and make them happy.
So what they're going to do is cry.
And what you need to do is make that none of your business.
Because it's not.
It's none of your business.
Like you need to feel confident and that it's normal that you are an adult and your kid expects you to have an adult brain capacity to assess situations, decide what's appropriate and carry them out.
If you demonstrate that the noises of a baby can override those decisions, then you're demonstrating that you're not capable of fulfilling that role.
And so you need to steal yourself against objections and just not care.
Like I never, ever, ever have told a kid you're okay.
I've never told a kid not to cry or admonished or chassis about crying or throwing a fit or whatever.
Go ahead.
It's none of my business because all this is about is I caused a thing to happen and the child is trying to test whether or not I'm actually qualified to call that.
If you're a parent, just know I'm here to say you are qualified.
You're a grownup.
That's it.
That's all you need.
Not only do you have permission to make decisions about what you like and don't like to happen in your environment and carry them out.
Not only do you have permission, you're required to do that if you want your kid to develop healthily.
And your kid is, yeah.
So like if the, like the example, you take, just take them out.
If they throw a fit, that's neither here nor there.
Don't give them an audience if you, if you, because they're trying to rope you back into submitting to their initiative because that's what they're used to.
Find ways to cause your initiative to be the thing that determines what happens.
And if they object, don't worry about it.
Don't take that as an invitation to explain or try to validate or try to, well, this is why you shouldn't touch that or, well, you know, et cetera, this is why you need to get out of the grid.
No, they don't, first of all, they don't care.
All they hear is that you're not so sure.
Just be sure.
Just decide what happens and cause it to happen.
And demonstrate that those decisions aren't going to be vetoed by objection or by some signal of distress.
And what is happening is that children are having distress associated with heightened access to resources.
So if a kid falls down, a toddler falls down, which they do all the time, they're not going to make a big deal out of that unless some grown-up there makes a big deal out of it.
Right.
And when you freak out, then the kid says, oh, they're going to, they're going to freak out and they're going to milk it as much as they possibly can.
They'll still be blubbering six hours later about my knee hurts or whatever.
It's like you told me, you showed me that this is a portal to heightened access to resources.
You're going to give me attention.
You're going to give me sympathy.
You're going to give me candy.
You're going to give me ice cream.
You're going to allow me to do something that you wouldn't otherwise, you know, normally allow me to do because I signaled distress.
Okay.
So you're teaching a kid that claiming to be harmed, claiming to be put upon is a gateway to heightened resources.
Now, what kind of critiques do people say on the right, on the dissident right, have about how society is being structured under the dominant kind of economy of status?
It's precisely this.
I love it, man.
I think that was wonderfully worded.
I don't mean to cut you off there.
It sounds like a tough love, a smart, tough love, one that is, it's not cruel.
It's common sense.
Was probably common sense for many, many centuries until our modern coddled indulgent weak, soft age.
Yeah right well, in past eras you don't have the excess attention and time to spend having a child determine whether or not you're able to fulfill your role in society.
No, you are going to be crushing the grapes, you are going to be performing the liturgy, you are going to be winnowing the wheat.
You know doing all that and the fact that what you reproduce certainly shouldn't be of like oh, override your ability to, you know, to function in society.
And yet it is considered now normal that oh, I have a kid, so I can't go out to eat.
Oh, I have a kid, so he's going to raise hell, so I now we can't do that, we can't do this, and the parents just sort of take that in stride.
It's like oh, the the sacrifices one must make to be a parent.
You have this little shrieking hellion and therefore you know you have to make sacrifices like no, if that's the case, you did that and you it's not, it's it's not necessary, it's, it's not mandatory.
You can make a decision to have that not only not be the case, but to have like when I love taking kids out to restaurants, to situations where they're interfacing with society because I that constitutes an opportunity to sort of put into play the fruits of the kind of development that I've been guiding them toward so that they can apply those pro-social defaults to social situations and get that positive reinforcement.
from people that are delighted from getting to interact with them, and i'm talking about a two-year-old.
People talk about the terrible twos.
Two is the best if you dot your i's and cross your t's properly in the preceding year.
That's kind of where the rubber meets the road, it's going to be terrible or it's going to be terrific and there's not much in between.
Fair enough uh, tough question, but I got to ask it, big guy.
I'm sure there's some members of the audience who are saying, why is this single man working with young children?
Either that's woman's work or I certainly wouldn't want a man to be spending that much time with my kids.
What?
Why did you do it?
And I I suspect, if I put you on the couch, that it's possibly uh tied back somehow to your childhood and uh, you know, you could understand somebody being like.
I'd rather have a woman in this role as opposed to a single man.
But however, you want to answer that yeah, and I mean I, I expect those kinds of hesitations and I just don't care.
I'd only need one person to hire me, I don't need everyone, you know.
And it's like I don't know what's wrong with the people that are comfortable hiring you.
They're mostly libtards and so they probably part of it is like well, I don't want to, I don't want to be the stereotypical person to say men shouldn't do this, you know.
So that's fine.
If that's how I get work, that's fine.
But um, you know, and if people are just like I don't want a man watching my kid, what am I going to do?
That's fine too.
I'm going to sue you, that's fine too.
Um well, I think that my, my childhood you're probably right about it that in in kind of later childhood I always grew up in like apartment complexes there's a bunch of kids in all of all ages, you know, and in later childhood for me, I Had a kind of a rapport with younger kids.
And I think a lot of it was because what my childhood gave me, and you know, the difficulties involved in it, was a proclivity for nonverbal communication, for reading nonverbal cues.
And people who experience trauma often have a heightened sense of, you know, reading people and reading what's going on without having to be told overtly about it because they're constantly scanning for something that might be harmful.
So my work consists largely of contouring an interpersonal dynamic that consists largely of nonverbal communication.
And it's so I think that gave me a rapport with young kids early on.
And like a lot of adolescents or teens or whatever, I started doing babysitting as like a side thing or whatever when I wasn't in school.
I did it not just though, because this is a way you can make money like mowing a lawn or something, but because I did have that kind of connection with younger kids.
And I just kind of kept doing it.
It was something that the more I did, I developed skills around it.
I developed a passion for it.
And eventually it was, I could see that the work that I was doing was work that most other people aren't doing when they work with kids.
The things, the layers of it that I was seeing and interacting with were layers that mostly escapes people, you know, when they work with kids.
And I came more recently, I think, to understand the broader social cultural implications.
And it just, it keeps me involved.
I'm constantly learning new things.
I'm constantly refining my approach.
And, you know, it's if people, if I stop being able to get work because it's weird, that's fine.
I could do something else.
But as long as I can, well, as long as I can get away with it, I'll do it.
You know, I think if I can make an observation, I think that sometimes in this type of work or any of this type of thing, what is needed is a man's hand, so to speak, to make things stay on track.
Because women are wonderful nurturers, but sometimes they lose sight of the bigger goal.
Absolutely.
This is something that we can talk about in greater detail if you want to go on.
Well, I'll just give an example.
So I had a friend and his wife was seeing like a counselor just, you know, because she was whatever, having emotional struggles and things.
And it was great.
But then my friend started to catch on like she was seeing this woman counselor and it was just like a session to bitch basically, you know, and just to talk.
And it's like, well, wait a second, we're paying to have like this treatment, essentially.
And really, you're just paying for someone to go and just talk.
Whereas what she should do is go see a man doctor of this type or man therapist of this type who would be less of a buddy and more of somebody who's to keep you on track and put you through your paces to get to the right end goal, so to speak.
And so a man's hand in something like this, I think, is probably more needed than anything.
It is.
It is in the specific as well as in the general.
So when I think about and kind of talk about the shift from a traditional society that's hierarchically based to a consumer society, that really calls into play the dynamics between the sexes because women in general and naturally are less capable of discerning power relations and responding appropriately.
And they are, that's why, you know, things like politics and governance and war, these have been institutions that are built by men with the expectation of male participation on the basis of male psychology.
Women make good mothers generally in a context of a broader, I guess what you'd call a male-dominated society because women take their cues, women are very receptive to cues about what is oriented with status in society, what kind of attitudes, what kind of behaviors, and they adjust.
And it's more the man's role to determine those parameters.
And the woman tends to adjust her behavior in response to them.
And so when there's when the kind of enforcement, the establishment and enforcement of parameters in society is done by men and is done well and is done thoroughly, that gives women a firm foundation on the basis of which to import appropriate authority into the household where they are also lending their natural capacity for nurture.
Where that masculinity has been diminished or erased or denigrated as toxic or anything, women don't make very good parents just by virtue of being women when they don't have, when they're not being influenced to value discernment about power relations.
They don't have in them naturally, as far as what I've seen, and for the most part.
And I think this is a big problem that is that's contributing to this lack of boundaries for small children.
That's atrophying their pro-social traits.
And that's basically making them wards of the state because they have to, because the state is the one that actually can mitigate your access to resources.
And that just means that the power structure gets to insert its incentives.
Whereas the parents don't, because screw the parents, because what do you, you've never been incentivized to defer to what your parents prefer.
They've told you that the way to retain access to resources is to just be obstreperous and annoying and demand and pretend to be put upon and etc.
And so the power structure can then play upon that and give you tools to retain that access because it becomes basically a chemical addiction.
You're neurochemically calibrated to an unmitigated access to social resources.
Then when you go out into the world and you're done manipulating and taking hostage your parents, now you have to figure out how to manipulate and take society hostage.
And the power structure is right there to tell you how to do it.
You behave this way, you know, you scratch our back, we scratch yours.
If you pretend to be of the opposite sex, you get in, you know, that's a free that that's that's a fast track to unearned status in society and various things like that.
So spoiled coddled brats grow up to be adult spoiled coddled brats.
I agree.
So yeah, the thing about the male-female dynamic, it's like, yeah, you could say, and it kind of brings in the fact that it's unnatural or not normal for a male to be doing this work, but it's also a natural and not normal for male psychology to be setting boundaries in a hierarchical way for society in general so that women who are mothers can feel confident and safer importing that boundary structure into their parenting.
And single mothers are horrible, horrible.
I mean, by and large, really bad because of this, because they don't have that instinct for being able to tell the difference between is my kid really in distress or am I just being manipulated?
What women just rush to be like, oh my God, there's distress.
Oh, good.
I get to be this nurturer so that I can feel like I'm a good person because society isn't telling me that I'm a good person because I make the sandwich.
You know, you know what I mean?
I have to look to my kid to tell me why I'm a good person.
And that just means that my kid's making a noise.
And so good, this gives me an opportunity to rush into an opera to figure out what they want and give it to them.
And that's all really moms are capable of doing for the most part without that male influence.
Good stuff, Mr. Smith.
Speaking of coddled, feminized societies and women and children, I want to go to Rolo here before he's very fatigued, perhaps from an excessive romp with some date that he just had recently that he wanted to share.
I mean, it's not a big deal.
Somebody said, Rolo's got a triple digit body count.
Holy cow.
Call him Roll.
What was it?
Rolthario.
That's what I came up with.
That's his new name.
So yeah, no surprise that Rolo got a date.
We know he can get dates.
It's about finding a good one, but go ahead, buddy.
Share the do kiss and tell.
Oh, there was some kissing.
So I'll do some telling.
Yeah.
So I took out, I met a nice little blonde, blue-eyed, very pale-skinned girl.
You know, asked her out, took her out.
And so she's talking about all of her problems, you know, as they tend to do.
And then, and she's, she starts talking about her tribe and her culture.
And then, and I'm starting to think like, wait, hold on.
Like, no one, no one talks like that.
That's not.
Yeah, no, no one talks about that.
And then, and then she's, she's talking about all the problems in her life and everyone who she knows is an alcoholic and or a drug addict.
I'm like, okay, I think I know where this is going.
And, and then she, she starts talking about how she is a member of some, some stupid tribe.
I won't, I won't say the name of it for, uh, for reasons.
Comanche.
Uh, yeah.
I mean, that would have been more believable at that point.
Like at that point, just lie and just say you're 100%.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you ever see Bone Tomahawk?
Yeah, I'm from that tribe from Bone Tomahawk.
Yeah, the cannibal ones, not the one that tended to be a normal one.
Whistles hammered into their throats.
Yeah, go ahead.
Sorry.
Yeah.
And yeah, and she's showing me pictures of all of her friends and she calls them her cousins.
And not only are they all brown, but they are like the ugliest people I've ever seen.
And, you know, this girl was very, very good looking.
And she's talking about her uncle.
And she's like, oh, yeah, all my dad's siblings.
Yeah, they're really dark, but for some reason, he just came out white and blonde-haired, blue-eyed.
I'm like, oh, gee, huh, I wonder why.
And she conveniently didn't have any pictures of the mother and all these things.
So I talked to a guy I know and he was somewhat familiar with the area.
And he said, she's at most one eighth.
And looking at her, I'm like, she's not one eighth.
So maybe her dad, maybe her dad was one eighth, which, and I think that's likely.
So she'd probably be one sixteenth of this thing, which means that she doesn't care about 15 16ths of herself.
Right.
Now, there's two things to this story.
She's totally identified.
So she knows that that 1 16th is totally defective and alcoholic and drug addled.
And yet she still identifies.
No, she thinks that's she thinks that's just the region that she's from for some reason.
The people in that area are like that.
Now, here's the crazy thing: she tried to be adopted and accepted into that tribe, and they told her to FO because she's too white.
And it's her life's mission at this point to be accepted into it to get the government funding so she can give it back to that tribe.
Now, now, how did you not just say, I have to go to the bathroom and then run out the back door?
This is too good looking.
This is the other reason why.
Now, she brought up that she was interested in cults or weird things in the world.
And then I started talking about Jews.
This is the only time I've ever done this on a date because this is like you don't care at this point.
You're like, all right, this is, let's just have fun with this.
Or you say, hey, I'm an adult.
Yeah.
Well, well, hold on.
Stop skipping ahead.
Yeah.
And I said, oh, I said, Jews are a satanic cult and they just run the world.
She said, yeah, I can see that.
Like, not in an incredulous way.
Oh, hey, it's a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, but when she told me.
Rollo put a feather in his hat and go, whoa, Hold on, The plot, the plot thickens.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Oh.
All right.
Now she's telling her stupid story about her tribe.
And at the end of it, I just say, Yeah, well, I'm white.
So I'm pro-white.
And that didn't bother her at all.
So, like, all right.
Hey, all right.
So I am 50, 50 that I can save her.
Wow.
Because normally the meme is like single mom, meth addict, no teeth, tiny swastika tattoo.
I can save her.
Usually it's like total train wrecks, and that's why it's a joke.
But she seemed open to a lot of the things that I was saying.
Like she wasn't put off by it.
But this is a white woman that is just like she did bring up white privilege, but it's like, but if there's such white privilege, why are you trying so hard not to be white?
So, but all the other things that I brought up, like she showed me some picture of her at some gay faggot protest or something.
And I, and I just said, I have no sympathy for gays.
I've met plenty of them.
They're all rapists and child molesters.
And she's, yeah, I've heard that.
It's, yeah.
Well, you got to always keep in mind women, many women are just, they only know what they've been told.
And we could be disgusted because we know better, but they're literally just repeating things they've been told.
And as soon as you show like a pushback, she's, she's responds like, oh, yeah, okay.
You know, now, am I going to have to delete this episode, Rolo, if this works out and you put a ring on it?
No, I mean, it's 116th.
And for all we know, she's 0%.
Right.
And, you know, her mother banged a white guy because she was tired of getting beaten by a drunk Indian.
Yeah.
Wow.
Her grandmother.
Grandmother.
Sorry.
Grandmother.
Yeah.
Because she showed me her parents.
Both of her parents are white people.
And it's not like it's not like HAPAs, where sometimes Keanu Reeves kind of looks white, but there's something kind of off.
Or even, or even James Alsip, who's only a quarter, but he's still like something about him.
It's like it kind of, there's something kind of off.
It's like some Asian admixture for sure in old James.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah.
But, but this girl, it's like both of her parents look white.
She is white.
So it's like, yeah, like that's why I jokingly said, well, I took Elizabeth Warren out this weekend.
Yeah.
I thought you just like took a raving leftist out or something like that sort of school.
No, and she wasn't even a raving leftist.
Like she's into like hunting.
And she said, I can't be with a man who doesn't want to learn how to dress a deer.
Now, you know, did you seal the deal that night?
And do you usually go for?
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Got it.
Go ahead, Sam.
Sorry.
Well, I was just going to say, in my experience, if you are more than just a very tiny percentage non-white, it shows up very obviously.
So that's what I think too.
Yeah.
Well, good for you, buddy, for going for it.
Are you going to see her again?
I'm planning on it.
Right.
See where it goes.
See.
Yeah.
Because at the end of the night, I'm just going to say she seemed pretty into me.
Like the only real problem is everyone she is surrounded with is a total piece of crap.
Like she's like going out of her way to surround herself with engines.
And they're literally, literally all of them are alcoholics and drug addicts.
It's like not a one of them.
She's like, yeah, I have this friend.
He's cool.
You know, he's, he likes flying kites or like, this is my girlfriend and she likes like puzzles.
Like, you know, they're all like, oh, yeah, he's a guy's drug addict.
Oh, yeah, she's an alcoholic that does OnlyFans and a single mom.
It's like all of them.
And they're all engines.
Yeah.
Literally, it could be her white knight.
I also, I heard into her too.
Sorry.
I had to do it.
Well, good luck, man.
And good for you.
Is this going to be a new strategy of yours?
Check it out.
If, say, this doesn't work out and you're out on a date with like just a leftist sort of weird kooky woman, you just get like, like, like if you can tell that it's not necessarily promised.
Oh, no, yeah.
Go for it.
No, what I generally do is like, I'll put out a feeler and see how they react.
And I never go like full 1488 like I did this time, even though I don't think she quite picked up what I was putting down.
But she heard, like, she knows nothing about Jews because like surrounded by drunken Indians, they don't know anything about Jews.
So saying that, that was like total neutral territory.
And I think when I said, yeah, I'm white, I'm pro-white.
I think she saw it as like, well, if all these people I know, they're pro their tribe.
So I guess that would make sense for this.
But generally, when they say stupid leftist things, I just calmly and carefully explain to them why they're a gigantic retard.
And like I do that just to kind of tilt them and ruin their week.
That's what I do.
Good for you.
Does she have an history name?
Dances with white boys or no?
Well, I mean, it's her new name.
Yeah.
Well, with women.
And her name, I'll tell you her name off air.
It is like, it's embarrassing how not Julie Smith is.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, the thing with women is they need other women to be.
So like when it comes to being a white nationalist or something, it's very hard for like a woman to like start to understand and accept it on her own.
Of course, many exceptions, but that we know of.
But I can only tell you through the years, you know, like when there was a very strong local scene, it was easy to attract women to it because there was a community that welcomed them and there were other women that women could feel comfortable with and around.
But if it's just you and a woman and you are trying to open her mind to white nationalism, that's very hard.
You need that community of other women that they can relate to on that level with that subject.
Yeah, that's the ultimate problem is, and this is for anyone out there, like it's not enough to be a strong, good man with strong convictions, because at the end of the day, as strong as you are, you will never beat everything that has been hoisted upon them.
You're not beating their communist professors.
You're not beating late nightmares.
You're not beating Bernie Sanders.
You're not, you are, but like you are an ant compared to the Jewish liberal complex.
But we do have tools now that we didn't have just a few years ago, which is, so let's say Telegram or other similar apps.
So like our local communities, the women have their own little channel within the channel, you might say, where they relate to each other and share information.
So even if there's not a strong local thing, like maybe the women are, you know, the women might be involved from even other states, but they can relate to each other.
Sometimes they have calls together or, you know what I mean?
So there are opportunities in this age that we live in.
Then, Sammy, baby.
All right.
I think we probably got to land this puppy.
Before we do, a couple plugs or recommendations for the audience.
We've done Bitcoin and crypto shows on this show before.
I personally remain a believer in the long-term viability and appreciation of Bitcoin.
Don't take my word for it.
Do your own homework.
I'm not a professional.
Maybe I'm drinking the Kool-Aid.
But a massive development in the past month, I've had this in the show notes for a long time, just didn't get around to it, is that you can now buy exchange traded products that essentially buy Bitcoin and their funds, Fidelity, BlackRock, iShares, all these things.
So for those of you for whom, I don't know, Binance looked a little too tricky or storing crypto on a thumb drive was too nerve-wracking for you and you might have some money in your IRA, I urge you to at least look at it and consider adding that a small part of your portfolio.
Start with a little buy.
Again, not professional recommendation, just urging you to look into it.
But I strongly believe that that will be a powerful wealth accumulation vehicle over the long term.
Bitcoin's at like 52K right now.
I think it was 19 at the start of 2023.
The all-time high is 65.
Almost all of the analysts believe that it's going to break six figures, if not this year, then next year.
Could be, could not.
Dollar cost averaging, making those small buys on the way up.
The point is there is now a massive new pool of money in everyone's IRAs and traditional IRAs from the boomers down to the Zoomers that can now conveniently buy Bitcoin.
No, it's not as good as technically owning it yourself on a secure cold storage.
But do you really think Fidelity is going to like, you know, go bankrupt or BlackRock is going to go bankrupt?
I think it's probably, you know, it's already taken the price up about 10K probably from when those things came out.
And I suspect it's got a lot more room to run.
So put that in your financial research to-do list, if not your purchase to-do list, because you've seen a lot of guys saying, nope, you got to have at least some of that in your portfolio, if nothing else, then as a hedge against some sort of future financial normal calamity.
I'm going to put the link in the show notes to a wonderful substack that I recently subscribed to.
It's Simplicius, or maybe it's Simplicius.
I don't know.
Simplicius was a philosopher, I believe, Roman back in the day.
But regardless, I don't know if he's Russian or not, but he does a wonderful curation job of everything that's going on, in particular with Russia and Ukraine.
Of course, we have the big fall of Avdivka recently, which was a major take for Russia and will make Donetsk more secure.
I couldn't believe how close the damn city was to Donetsk.
The Ukrainians were holding this city and shelling Donetsk from it.
Like going back to 20, I don't know if it was back to 2014 in my Don, but at least since 2018, goes to show both how little technical progress the Russians have made given this invasion of Ukraine, the city just north of Donetsk was available.
But the point being, it's a wonderful substack and it's a great way to get information about what's going on, not just Russia, Ukraine, but also Palestine, Israel, and larger geopolitical things going on.
We didn't get to the 80s movies.
We can do that next week, give Rolo more time to think about his greatest 80 put up there.
I have strong opinions on that too.
I think everyone who hates, hates, hates on Taylor Swift is being a little bit short-sighted.
She's a pretty woman with no tattoos who doesn't dress manifestly like a whore.
She doesn't race mix and she makes non-profane songs.
Am I wrong, Sam?
And she's not a man, right?
She's a little mousy, but she's mousy, but not men.
All right.
There's some people talk about that very strongly that that's a man, but okay.
All right.
Yeah.
You, you discover a ding-a-ling on Tay Swift and I'll eat my hat there.
How about that?
After cracking ahead over it.
I don't know.
It's not really a big, it's like of all the thing.
I get that she's a lefty and like, you know, all the rest of this stuff.
But like as female pop stars go, you could do a lot worse, as I joke.
Like she could be dating Lil Wayne right now.
And instead she's dating, you know, granted, Travis Kelsey is like a big meathead BLM guy, but like at least he looks, he looks like a Viking warrior, at least, right?
So pick your fights, gentlemen.
Please don't be so hateful of everyone in the world.
Really, you'd be like, well, I don't really agree with her politics, but look, she makes cute, pretty puppy music.
She's got a Jew producer, of course, on a lot of those later albums.
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest.
Naval need, we'll save some of this stuff for the future because the hour is late.
And I am sincerely grateful and gratified that our old pal, new pal, Vrill Smith, came on to share his wisdom.
And I hope the audience got over it.
It was a little bit rough in the first, and that's not entirely your fault, buddy.
It's also mine for being dense.
But sincere, thank you.
Thank you not just for coming on the show, but for making young children's lives better.
And by extension, those are their parents too.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, thanks for having me on.
It's been fun.
We can do it again.
Hopefully, I'll be able to come visit and we can chat more in person.
Absolutely.
I'd love to show you how potatoes come along.
He's a handy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'll bet.
And he's speaking better now, too, for sure.
Sure.
The minecraft affliction is starting to get out of control.
But I mean, they've got all your kids have a very solid foundation.
They're, like you know, in terms of nature as well as anything else, like you've got a solid brood.
Amen, appreciate it, buddy.
Yep, wish I had, wish I had more, but you know, lessons learned.
I'm not crying on my beer over it and I sincerely and ladies, if you like what Vrill was dishing, please reach out to us.
Uh, be happy to set you up, because I have to say you know, we did the feds meeting feds for the lovely lady who wrote in uh, from the Cincinnati area, and we've had multiple suitors and uh, they keep coming to.
I got another email the other day saying hey coach, I I was like mildly interested and then you said the magic word Cincinni, and that was in in his area of operations.
Um, so that progress is ongoing.
Go figure, a single woman comes and offers herself up for matrimony and guys jump at the opportunity.
Women in the audience, don't be ashamed.
I think by now, whether it's your first time listening to us, to me, or you've been a long time listener, you know, we're not playing games here.
I'm not going to burn you.
I'm going to protect your identity.
Happy to make the connections for Rolo, Vril, or, you know, if Sam looks to get into the polygamy thing.
Oh, wait, we haven't talked about our articles today.
Sam, is it fair to say, Sam, that what I got out of your article was that if the Roman Catholic Church stayed true to its sort of unstated...
but implied uh, racial realities, that there wouldn't necessarily be a need for Christian identity.
But because the Catholic church strayed so much and suppressed literally suppressed and edited out, whitewashed, some of those writings yeah, that that that's where, you know, Christian identity fills that gap that's been lost in church.
Yeah, maybe we could save this for next time or something.
And I would just say that, you know, I I did write an article that um, I think it was uh, uh important to explain to people that uh, the Christian identity concept is really in the church fathers, and not only the church fathers, but the, the Catholic Saints, have written about it.
Because I was uh listening recently recently, to an episode of the Godcast which, to be honest, as and I feel it's important to say, I don't listen to that normally, but they had a Christian identity guy on there and he uh he, he did a very good job and i'm only halfway through.
It was a very long episode, at least uh, a little over halfway through.
He was doing a very good job.
But he didn't.
He didn't know about uh, that the church fathers had actually written about these things and, which is no fault of his own.
He talked about oh, he had.
He's been studying it for about 10 years, which is great.
That's nothing to sneeze at.
But you know, 10 years is not 20 or 30 or more years.
So you know, he just didn't know a couple those things.
I thought it'd be nice to supply that and um, I had a very weird experience which i'm not going to go into now because I I would want to kind of talk it through, but i'll just say right now people can go to the site on the blog tab in the Full-house.com website.
And you could read my article, which it's kind of really better to read it because it's a little bit inside baseball.
But also I narrated it and it is behind the paywall on the surreal politics website.
And I just want to encourage people there.
You know, it's only, I think with the full house discount, it's something like six bucks a month or something.
And yeah, and then you get access to everything that's on his site.
Six bucks a month does not kill you.
And you don't got to keep it up forever.
If after six months or a year or something, you say, okay, I'm done listening to that.
You just stop.
But it's, you know, you get all Chris's stuff, which he's got an interesting podcast and you can listen to my narration of this article.
And we have some other things that are behind the paywall.
It's definitely worth it.
I encourage people, go, you know, spend the six bucks.
Come on.
Amen.
Thank you for mentioning that, Sam.
And I'm going to put, yeah, that narration.
I kind of want to release your autobiography out into the wild and not paywall it.
Yeah, no, that's fine.
Okay.
Yeah.
So we'll do that.
And then we'll put the article.
But this one's kind of bonus.
Yeah.
This is a little special thing here that I did.
And, you know, we'll talk more about this article because I wanted to give the funny little incident because I wrote it and then like this thing happened.
And then I kind of had to rewrite it because of the weirdness that I came across.
And I'm not going to take up any more time.
We'll talk about it next time.
And St. Anthony delivered again.
Yeah.
For anybody who was missing something.
Just call Sam.
Sam's got a hotline into the big man.
Oh, it is.
It was so weird because I, you know, it was something I had read years ago.
And I said, I got to find that again.
I tried to find it.
It's like a thousand page book.
I kind of knew where it was, but I couldn't exactly find.
I tried it again.
And then it was literally right before I was going to sleep.
And I just had this thing.
No, go look one more time.
And I said, all right, St. Anthony, if you could help me with this silly little request here, I want to find this passage in the book because it was really, really good.
And I can't remember all the things.
I know the gist of it.
Help me out.
And I literally flipped right to the page.
It was very weird.
And there's just some more weird things that happened afterwards, but we'll go into that on the next episode.
Now, Sam, do you get down on your prayer bones every time that you are communicating to the higher power?
Or do you sometimes just do it like lying in bed and say prayer?
Oh, no, no, I do it, do it just wherever I am, whatever I'm doing.
I do have a kneeler in my room.
You are in my room.
You saw I have a kneeler there that I do say my morning and evening prayers on a kneeler like you would see in a church.
And you can get it.
It's called the Catholic Company, I think is the exact name of it.
And they have a website and you can get a very fancy one or a very simple one.
And it's a kit.
You put it together and it's definitely worth having.
Good stuff.
Three weeks in a row, gentlemen.
I don't know what's gotten into us, but let's not get cocky.
Let's keep it going.
Hey, keep it going.
Big Tom Sewell's coming on next week.
I got to really think, you know, we've had him on three before.
Got to kind of think of some questions for that one.
He always delivers.
And then we got to get Campwell said he wants to come on too.
We got to get on anytime, gentlemen.
But, you know, with my prep.
Yeah, just let me riff with you.
And I'm right, Chris.
Prima Donna.
No, I'm kidding.
Awesome.
All right.
Thank you, Very all.
Thank you, Sammy Baby.
And Rolo.
Thank you, bud.
All right.
Thanks, man.
All right.
Let's see.
Full house episode 179 was recorded on a snowy, it wasn't snowying, but it's still snowy out there.
February 18th now, February 19th, 2024.
You know where to follow us.
Telegram, Gab, all the links are in the show notes.
Please do drop us a line.
Fullhouse show at protonmail.com.
Safest way to make sure that yours truly doesn't lose anything.
So, to all of our audience listening, whether you got kids yet, whether they're old, young, right in the power zone for conditioning them in a healthy way.
There's nothing wrong necessarily with conditioning, disciplining.
Do it right.
Do it smart.
Doesn't mean you have to be mean or cruel or a hard ass, but don't let those kids run your life.
You run their life and you set them up for success.
And I think that our pal Vrill shared some straight dope wisdom on that front this week, for sure.
So you have certainly earned the DJ booth, Mr. Smith.
If you'd like it, if you actually thought about it after I gave you more than an hour to think about it, anything come to mind?
Hopefully, a crowd pleaser.
Wait, did I miss?
What are you talking about?
You can pick the closing song, dummy.
He's never from listening to me.
Are you kidding me?
He doesn't.
I get to pick the oh, geez.
Yeah, well, if you can't think of one right now, I'll give you a little bit of something for your punk rock.
Is this something that I pick it for?
How do you have it, Avib?
How do you, how do we play that?
Well, no, you take it.
You take the spongy.
No, because there's post-production, right?
Oh, yeah.
I'm leading.
Oh, wow.
I'm leading.
You queue tech wizards know so many secret little things that a regular person just would have no clue.
Hey, if you're asking me right now off the top of my head, a good song is Shrivel Up by Devo.
Okay, and it is not profane.
No.
Okay, cool.
Hey, we'll go with it.
Shrivel Up by Devo.
I hope I don't regret this one.
Sounds cold.
Sounds cold, but I like the only Devo song I know is Whip It.
So, man, they really did.
They went for those double entendres, didn't they?
All right.
Thank you, Vrill.
Thank you, everybody.
We love you, fam.
We'll talk to you next week with Tom Sewell.
And if that doesn't satisfy you, then you'll never be satisfied.
So we try.
All right.
Let's see if Vrill Smith has ever listened to the full end of a full house show.
Over to you, pal.
Take us away.
Obviously, he's never listened to the show.
He dropped several concepts.
Well, not to the end.
Maybe not to the end.
No, he's listened to the show.
I know he's listening.
Oh, I've listened to the show.
I've listened to the show.
It's been a little while that I didn't remember.
And if you say, we say see you at the end, remember?
Sia.
All right.
Oh, I have to say see you.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
I'm not familiar with.
I'm just a case.
So many rules.
All of your rules and technology confuses and frightens me.
I think you spent too many time with too much time with toddlers.
What am I supposed to do?
Just say see and we'll get the hell out of here.
See ya.
There you go.
No, you can't go back.
It's a God-given love.
That you're gonna lose your mind.
Yes, you're gonna lose your mama.
Let's go give it back.
You gotta buy it by the sack.
Gotta buy it by the sack.
Well, let's go give them love.
You're gonna get smart.
Well, you better take the rap Dying under daddy's cap, dying under daddy's cap.
Shrivel up It's at the top of the list That you can't get pissed,
no, you can't get pissed It's rule number one Living right isn't fun, living right isn't fun, cause it's a god-given fact That you can't go back, no, you can't go back It's a god-given law That you're gonna lose your mind, yes, you're gonna lose your mind Time tested and true You gotta forget for a boat, got a party for Well,
it's a god-given law That you're gonna get small, yes, you're gonna get small Maybe just another rap But you're running out of salap, yes,