July 31, 2022 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
02:09:51
LAUGHING At DUMB People & Their STUPID Ideas | Guests: @Brandon Herrera and Lisa Reynolds
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Producer:
Josiah David:
https://youtu.be/YBb7fRkMt0E Show less
Okay, we're on episode five of our shit stream and we're back on a Saturday, guys.
And we got to tell you good news, everybody.
Good news.
Orgies are still in order.
We got a lot of stuff we're going to talk about today, but in San Francisco, they wanted to warn people to perhaps reduce your sex partners from 40 to 20 over the next week.
And so for all of you guys out in your gay orgies, which are very popular with this audience, maybe tone it down a little bit.
I mean, like, I'm not to be rude, but like, I'm not, you know, super involved in Japanese politics.
I like sushi, and I think they make the number one sex dolls in the world, I'm pretty sure, the most realistic ones among many of their accomplishments, not to mention World War II and things we like to forget.
So Shinzo Abe was the kind of somewhat based former prime minister of Japan whose primary platform was telling the youth of Japan to go out, touch grass, and have sex with real women.
And instead of doing that, they shot him.
And yeah.
So in a country where you can't have any guns, they decided to just build one.
Building a gun from scratch and homemade gunpowder was easier than talking to a woman at a bar.
We don't want anyone committing any violence, but you're saying if that did happen, like if there was wars, it's like, it's like for me, too, with war.
It's like, there's not a country I would want America to go to war with, but there are countries that would be much lower on my list, like a war with China or a war with Japan.
We don't want that.
Or a war with Russia, in fact.
I do want to say this, though.
So then that's what it is.
So you said something like that and that got your channel taken down or something?
We totally, the other part that was probably strikeworthy is that we totally sent it too hard on the first test with way too much powder because I really didn't care.
I didn't expect it to survive.
But no, we accidentally turned one of them into a pipe bomb.
Hey, I want to see security footage from January 5th.
And I want to know.
We never found the pipe bomber.
Like, this is what's so crazy, though, is like they keep trying to outlaw things and make things illegal.
Like, this was so crazy to me.
He actually assassinated the dude.
And it's not funny that he got assassinated by any means, but I just find it ironic.
It's like all we hear about is guns, guns, guns.
We have to outlaw guns so everyone's protected.
And it's like, it would be one thing to say, oh, yeah, well, he made a gun and manufactured it and basically only killed like some random person.
But like, obviously, other guns could kill many people at the same time or high-profile people.
Like, this is straight up like Wilkes booth, which I don't know if that's a conspiracy theory, but this is straight up right Abraham Lincoln stuff, like a one-shot right in the back.
What pissed me off is the mainstream media immediately afterward took that as an opportunity to show like they went on the defensive like, well, this is just proving why Japan's gun laws actually work.
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Look at how much work this guy had to go through to actually make a gun or whatever.
This is the first time I've laughed at an assassination.
So I probably need to like rethink my entire existence because, but I think it's funny that I find it ironic, right?
Like this is like the inflation thing that's going on right now, where first inflation wasn't happening, then inflation was possible, then it was transitory.
Now it's a good thing.
And here's why you should enjoy it because you're going to make more money.
Like it's like the idea of like gun laws work.
And then you see the guy in, where was that actually?
His name is spelled like you would spell my name if you were drunk.
I don't know how it's spelled, but I just call him Eli.
Yeah, I mean, he was technically not supposed to have a firearm in that building from my understanding, but he straight up took down, you know, this dude that was going to kill a bunch of people from quite impressive distance when you consider a handgun.
And of course, like the media wasn't happy that he took some guy down and saved lives.
They were mad because he violated a no-gun policy, literally proving that that policy, if someone had followed it, would actually have brought the deaths of people and would have more people would have died.
But that's what they were mad about.
They were like, we wanted more people to die.
Like, we just wanted to kill people.
Oh, sorry.
What did they say?
Young Pei Chang, happy Saturday, guys.
Brandon, it would be great if you could get a live and tag along with you to training event.
The thing I'm curious to know is like an exercise in hypocrisy is seeing when all the dust settles, you know, they reopen that mall and everything if it's not already reopened, if they keep the no-gun sign.
So you remember that other video that went around and it was a guy with his mask on outside by himself and then he was like right in front of his like ring cam door and he got beat up and like whatever.
Like having a no-gun policy is like wearing a mask in public.
Yeah, declaring, declaring that you've literally castrated the public and like you've taken away their laws.
I don't get that either.
Like when you walk, I understand there are laws about consuming alcohol and concealing a gun and whatnot, which make sometimes make some sense.
I'm going to sound stupid for saying that, but I mean, sometimes it's like the place you'd want a gun feels like in a bar if you had to have a meeting or something.
Seriously, there's no sketchy bars out there, dude, where you feel like, man, in my day-to-day, I don't think I need it at the 7-Eleven as much as I think I need it at this.
Yeah, at Tubby's Cold Pour in the truck stop on my way to Seattle.
I'm pretty sure this is where I would like to bring a gun into because people here, they don't look like nice people.
They look a little bit like, they look like Hitler youth trying.
You're seeing those biker gangs at those places?
Very, very frightening people.
If you go to a bar in Salt Lake City, Utah, I don't know if you have because that's when you actually feel like a degenerate piece of scum when you go to a bar.
It's so hard to get alcohol there.
And I feel like the bars and the way my mom described them, that's like actually how they are.
You walk in there and there's like the one fat lesbian chick and you know, you don't can't tell if she's a lesbian or a poorly transitioned dude.
Well, all I'm going to say is that I've learned from today: do not make do-it-yourself gun videos that have been used to assassinate people.
We've learned a lesson here, folks.
If you're sitting here watching and you wanted to make a video about how to kill and assassinate someone, possibly, not someone you'd want to, but someone that if they were with a gun, you might get a strike on your channel and you might not be able to produce videos.
Does that cost you a lot of money, though, when you get like a week off like that?
So I think that's going to be the first video we do when I get back.
I was talking to some buddies of mine, like Donut and the fat electrician.
We were talking about the first video I do is going to be, I made the world's most expensive pipe gun because this pipe gun that costs $210 to make probably is going to cost me my company anyway, about $20,000 in the time I can't post.
To all my creators out there, just because a super chatter tells you something, it's not true.
But also, if it is true, stop going to orgies.
It actually was a sad thing recently.
I found that out today.
San Francisco had said they weren't canceling their orgy festival.
I was just reading this a second ago because you can't tell gay people to not have orgies.
They won't listen.
That's an interesting perspective.
I remember when they tried to shut down my mom's funeral for a disease with the same survival rate and also find my dad's church for singing indoors for something with the same survival rate.
Weird how you can fuck 40 people and drink a gallon of piss like that one guy did that that we make famous.
I don't even know where we're going with this because I have so many good bad takes up here, but I love how they act like people's attractions are some sort of like equitable diversity coalition, meaning like they'll, they'll have a cast like and they'll have like a bachelor and they'll have like black women and an Asian woman.
I'm like, did you ask the dude if he had a preference?
Because I feel like this is not good.
Because if you really wanted to like put black people out there, they always get voted off first usually like on these things.
They do because it's like, it's like people, racists tend to find the same race attractive unless you're like yellow fever or something.
But I've seen studies with like what races find each other attractive.
No, like what's what find each other attractive?
And it's like black women prefer black men.
So if you have like a black bachelorette, the likelihood is she's probably gonna click like picking a black man.
So if you did a bunch of white men, they're gonna solely just get voted off first.
And I've always noticed the more equitable they try to make it, the more racist it becomes because it's always like, it's always like, LaQuita, you are being voted off the island or something.
That's a different show.
There's a lot of sex shows.
But it's like, yeah, I know, but it's like, it's like, it's like, you're not, you're not going to have another date.
And you're like, well, Chance Ryan here, maybe you should have asked him because he's in the black chicks before you hired two of them as cast members.
And I'm going to say, I've never met anyone that's just like down with every type of girl possible priority.
There's always a preference, at least an order of like, I like these kind of chicks first, then these chicks, then these chicks.
And it's like, you're just hurting your game there.
Unless you really are like a total, like, I don't know, Brent, have you met someone who's just like equally, they just like women or men equally, like no matter what race, no matter what?
Like, I feel like everyone's got some sort of sexual preference.
Well, and I don't, what I don't understand with that is literally social science proof.
They do studies.
And I think like, I think with the women, I think mostly white men do not like, do not like to have, like, do not have a sexual attraction for black women, I'm pretty sure, on like that one.
But black women don't also like prefer white men.
And so you're like, no, no, no.
I'm saying literally, when I look at it, white men typically, like a lot, a large portion.
So like, it's not like it's one racial side anyways.
Black women preferred black men over white men and white men preferred white women over over black.
Black men like fat black women no, black men like a, like a and I wonder if they're they're solving for all variables here, because like there's also like an obesity epidemic in the female black community so it's like okay well maybe did did, did you, did you show them like a hundred random black women and they just maybe don't like obese people.
I did those implicit Harvard bias tests where you like hit the the buttons on your keyboard and like for all races and everything.
It came back negative for fat people.
It was off the charts.
Like I was like the most biased person against fat people ever.
I think it's because like they were mean to me when I was young that's what it was, dude I was.
I was like I was 5'10 and 107 pounds.
I'm 140 now okay, so like I'm 5'10, 107 pounds in like eighth grade and the fat girls were like you're so skinny it makes me sick and meh, they were mean.
I wrote a letter to Oprah saying you always talk about fat people.
Let's just face it, if your BMI was like under 30, you were probably never going to die, and that's something meaning like if you were under 30.
People are way too damn fat, and the reason why I'm mad about it too is because like, let's just be honest, nothing is killing Americans more than just straight up obesity.
I don't know what's going on, but it's like dude, literally.
If you were morbidly obese or like 84, then chill.
But like my Nana and my grandma, who are both thin one's 79, the other one's 83 my she's got it a second time and passed it because she's thin and she's not fat and she's not unhealthy.
She's 83 years old and just like passed it.
Biden just got it for the second time, and you know why.
That's why he's like this is what I love.
Biden was like, oh, I got, I got COVID and passed easier than Trump.
Two facts there.
Number one, you got whatever, whatever variant they've, they've invented today and and pretended is new okay, so whatever you've got, you've got the upper respiratory, not the lower one.
So you didn't even have the bad variant, which I don't even know if there was.
I don't even believe any of this shit.
But at the second time you're also in better shape, like Trump's, like a pretty heavy dude he is he's he's, he thick.
He got big booty.
Like I mean, that is true, if you sent him a pair of white shorts, that man's got a rump like this, this wide playing tennis.
I mean, I'll just say it was a little bit, he's got a rump, he's got a big, big boy.
If she could beat it any, if Biden, who's already half dead, can beat it like, why are we still doing uh boosters and vaccines and still talking about masking up?
This is like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life and I'm, a 44-year-old.
They know they did, they did they, they did say that, and but it's.
But it's not natural selection though, and it's no, because what?
What i'm saying here is that is that survival of the fittest?
No, but what i'm saying here is that is that a really key and important.
Uh, part of this is that it's not like natural selection was just like they stayed in their houses and they didn't think about like I don't know why they were so retarded, like they go.
Oh, they didn't let kids go to school and they put masks on children.
Like how the fuck do you abuse kids and sit around and do this stuff to children?
And they're like, did you know this is my friend who's a speech pathologist.
She said there was like a multiple hundred percent request for more speech pathologists.
By the way, it's a good job to get into right now, because there's like two years of children who are underdeveloped and that can't speak and can't Can't think, that have emotional problems.
That was so much more fun dancing buzzed with quarter black than it is having a conversation about people abusing children But the dancing must happen.
No, but it's like, dude, you guys didn't think?
Like, you just, hey, all of society, we're going to stay inside.
Like, you motherfucker, you knew that we were not going to die.
We knew it.
I knew the entire time.
I would make shows and we get strikes.
We get deleted.
You're not going to die from this if you're healthy.
And also, it's a fucking advanced cold.
Dude, were you not alive in 2017 and 2018?
Did you not remember when they had literal triages inside of parking structures because we had such a bad flu season?
And then all of a sudden this year, the flu didn't even occur.
And your solution to this was just abuse people and stay home?
I toured Wistar with a congressman because when I worked for a congressman back in Philly and they made the flu vaccine, the guy that made it was like, nah, don't take it.
I'm a nurse in the state of Washington, and this is my story.
I was bullied and coerced in fear of losing my job into taking the first dose of the COVID vaccine.
After the first dose, I had such a serious adverse reaction that affected my heart that my primary care provider advised me not to take any more doses of the vaccine.
And she signed in medical exemption form.
My employer approved this medical exemption form, but due to Governor Jay Ensley's mandate, I was removed from the schedule.
I lost my job over this vaccine.
And I regrettably took the second dose of the vaccine to get my job back.
My reaction was significantly worse the second time.
My blood pressure went up to 140 over 110 and had multiple other side effects.
After a full cardiac workup, I was told that this chest pain that I get that wakes me up during the night is just a prolonged side effect of the vaccine.
I am, I'm no longer living in fear of the repercussions about speaking the truth about this vaccine.
Now I'm seeing children that are getting vaccinated coming in to the hospital having multiple reactions to it.
And I'm seeing that providers are turning a blind eye or believing that there is not enough evidence for them to even report it for the vaccine reaction site.
And I'm tired of being silent.
And this is our time to speak up and speak the truth about this vaccine.
She said it's not safe, but according to YouTube, it's super safe.
In fact, you could inject it and you could put up your butt, you can put in your nose, you can put in your eyes.
It's like, but I'm saying, like, legitimately, they want you to take as many boosters.
Actually, again, speaking of that, take as many boosters as you can.
It's really, really fun.
It's like a game.
No, but like, she was like, there's so many videos coming out of people who were forced to like take a second shot to keep their job, to literally put food on their table.
They were told, like, you have to do this, and they're fucked up from it.
And then you go to Pfizer, and Pfizer's like, well, we don't, Pfizer made $10 billion in profit, I think, in just this first quarter, right?
I think, or, or maybe it was all of last year.
But I know they just made $10 billion in profit, but they said they don't have enough money and resources to actually do a study to test who's actually getting hurt and how much, how many people are actually getting damaged.
Can we just ask what she was doing with that book?
Because she clearly wasn't looking at it while she was turning pages.
So like, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but like, I don't understand that.
Number one.
Number two is we're doing this in New Jersey now.
Anybody, because my dad teaches classes on how to do IVs and pick lines.
And anybody that they, the governor of New Jersey just requested that anybody that works in a nursing home, anybody, like a janitor or whatever, gets another booster.
My dad's like, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Like, I'm not going to put this poison in my body.
And he's like, but I'm not going to work now.
Like, they're not following the science.
They're not doing anything they're supposed to do.
It's, it's like treason.
So she, she can be like, yeah, it's fine, but people are losing their whole livelihoods because people are still committed to like propping up big pharma.
It's like the sickest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Do you remember at the beginning, like the really, really beginning of COVID, where all the celebrities and a whole bunch of people were like making those same exact videos?
And they would make these videos recording themselves sick.
And now we're seeing the videos where people like that one girl with that horrible thing all over her face and all these things that are coming out with people with the reactions of vaccines is a million times worse than the people laying in a hospital bed going, oh, I've got COVID.
I'm just saying, like, I'm just saying, I know that I don't know what the vaccines are doing, but I can tell you that I have, I know of at least a dozen people that have been hurt by them personally.
People that have had paralysis.
I mean, and I love how too, like Justin Bieber, dude, his fans, remember, that was the whole point.
They wanted, they were trying to kill us because we made fun of the fact that they were pretending like his facial paralysis had nothing to do with his choice of getting boosted.
Yeah, she made a video one time like, oh, look, I'm really not trying to discourage anyone from getting vaccinated, but like I'm sick with COVID after I've been vaccinated and boosted and it's kind of annoying or whatever, but still go and get it, whatever.
Anyways, recently, she's had this freak disease that's just randomly happened out of the blue where her face is like seizures up or something like that.
She goes to the doctor and they don't know what's going on, but it seems like it's clearing up.
But what is going on with these facial spasms or whatever that she's getting?
I have my own ideas of what it could be, but I wouldn't say.
On top of that, I feel like it's almost like a Jordan Peterson, like Dostoevsky kind of thing, where it's like, okay.
Humans don't really have any real fucking problems right now compared to our ancestors who, you know, stormed Normandy Beach or had to invent fire or like forage for their fucking food and fight saber-toothed tigers.
Like, we've got it pretty fucking good.
And so, whenever something like this happens, everybody just kind of fucking jumps on top of it.
Like, this is my chance to be a hero.
I could wear a mash and be part of the solution.
And they just fucking jump on top of it because they literally have nothing else fucking happening that is real in their life.
You were in a very young, there was a lot of young people at the mall just give you some wearing hoodies and they had new sneakers on and they decided to fire a gun off.
I've added this to my dilemma here of the delusional takes page.
And it's so good.
These are like two people standing out front.
She has a sign.
This is like the typical girl that would say, yes, queen, and then vote and then say that she's like proud of the new cover of Playboy, which she's never even bought a Playboy, and it's not for her, right?
Everyone knows Playboy's for the articles, right?
It's like, oh, I didn't know there was boobs in this.
I thought it was about, I'm learning about cigars.
Anyway, she's carrying a sign that said, you have more rights about abortion.
You have more rights in Russia, China, and North Korea than you do in the United States.
They literally would, they would take, I was reading about, you know, the pro-life movement in China, which is pretty remarkable.
How, like, if you were known to be pregnant and you wouldn't go get an abortion, that the police would literally come to your house, handcuff you, tie you down to the table, and forcibly kill your child and like not even numb you as punishment.
Like they would, there was so much forced abortion.
Like women would be screaming and crying and they would commit suicide over it.
I was like looking at they have like signs that's like, that's like abortion is like comfortable and like good for your kid.
It's like good for your family.
And I read, I was reading the school books that they would be in school and that kids didn't even know the word sibling.
And they would tell the kids, like, because no one knew that anyone's brothers think about it.
You're in a classroom.
Nobody has a sibling.
So everyone, like, no one knew what a sibling was in a classroom.
This girl didn't know what a sibling was till she was like nine years old because she didn't know people had siblings.
And then they'd be told in class by their teachers, like, you only want to have one child because then you can get all the love from your parents.
But if your parents have two children, because they would have tried to get the kids to rat out, then your parents are splitting the love and you won't be as good of a citizen and you won't have as many opportunity if you have two children.
So they wanted the kids and the nine and ten year olds to rat the parents out if they were hiding a kid at home.
The kids are pretty fucked up and you have one child then the entire time.
Like, but I was thinking like, isn't that weird?
Like, I never really thought about how crazy it is living in a communist country, like, in a, in a real, like, genuine way, but thinking about how now that I'm married and whatnot, and like, I'm like, you know, gonna want to start a family pretty soon.
Like, imagine you have like, you know, twins, and then they hold your wife down, then they kill both the kids because they're, you know, it's like a botched abortion.
And they, like, murder your kids, and then you have to just go home and keep living with your life knowing they murdered your children.
And it's like, that's, that's like a communist country.
They'll take your wife, murder your kid in front of you, and then never give you, like, anything.
That's what communism is.
That's like, that's what tyranny is, why we need freaking guns.
Like, people don't realize that.
It's like, they'll forcibly just kill your family.
And it's like, well, that's not, you know, abortion is murder.
Okay.
It is.
And you especially, you know, forced abortion is abuse.
And it's like these communist countries have killed millions of their people up until 2015, theoretically, because of the one-child policy, they were killing millions, millions, and millions of their own citizens every single year by force.
Like, that's some crazy shit.
That's like, people don't realize like communism killed in the 20th century.
It killed so many people.
No, communism has been killing people to today.
North Korea to today.
This is like not a joke.
We can't take this lightly.
And if you, one day you might need a, you know, you need a Brandon Herrera how-to pipe gun video because they might be sooner than you think.
Yeah, they came out with a bunch of new restrictions for monetization.
What they're trying to do is they're pinching it off based like in the wallet, which is what actually hurts creators.
So the new restrictions include you cannot use thermal optics for whatever fucking reason.
You can't use tracers or any incendiary ammunition, 30 round magazines or more, fully automatic weapons.
And this is regardless of whether or not it's legal.
It could be perfectly legal in your country or your state or whatever.
And it's still just completely unmonetizable from YouTube.
A bunch of different restrictions like that, which thankfully everybody who's reviewing this is either in Palo Alto or a third world country where they know fuck all about guns.
So this has been extremely hard to enforce because they don't know what the hell they're looking at.
They mentioned it's like if you have more, if you purchase multiple guns and he's like, well, because I purchased two at a time.
So is that like, is that the new thing?
Like, if you purchase more than one gun at a time, you're going to be like singled out and targeted and they're going to come to your house and check.
Like, it really freaked me out, but I couldn't imagine what they were feeling.
And that was in Delaware, so which isn't far from where I live.
And I can't imagine why or what that they were allowed to do that.
Like, it doesn't seem legal that they're allowed to just knock up on your door and say, hey, I think he said in the video, like, as long as you show it to me, everything's going to be fine.
If it's a state law, then the state police should be here.
You're an ATF agent.
This is a federal law issue.
It is perfectly legal under federal law to sell a privately owned firearm to another privately armed, another private party who's not a felon, not a prohibited person.
Like, that's a perfectly legal thing to do.
So what the fuck happens if I did sell it or if I don't have it?
Well, yeah, but I would also say, I didn't understand the fact too, that it was like, you know why the ATF didn't do anything?
Because there was no innocent women or children inside.
So they would have burned the place down.
There was like, oh, there's no kids and mothers that we can murder.
Well, we'll save our incendiaries.
I do want to say this guy's reminder.
If you want to leave super chats, you can leave them in the link in the description or you can leave them at Venmo at Elijah Schaefer or at PayPalElijah at slightlyoffensive.com because we are demonetized.
And I'm trying to figure out, I think we're going to get remonetized soon.
I would love to know what the charge is because if somebody, like, if the police right now came to my door and wanted to talk to me, like, oh, what's up, guys?
Oh, well, we need to take you in for questioning because your post on social media, your videos that you posted have caused someone anxiety.
It's like, I don't know what the, but in Britain, that's the Brits went from running the world.
That's what I'm saying, an empire, a global empire to their arresting their citizens.
Meanwhile, the Muslims out there, you know, are running around the streets running amok, and no one cares about that.
No one cares about high crime rates or the rapes that are increasing or these migrants on the street and the influx and the entire Islamification of the United Kingdom.
And London looks like a, like, a, doesn't even, there's no white people even in their main city.
It's really crazy.
And it's like, and you're arresting your citizens for this.
Like, you've pussified your entire country.
And it's like, you know, just be like, tell the person.
You can get arrested for like literal speech there.
Like if you say Tommy, right?
No, he never got arrested for that.
I actually downloaded his entire, like I went to Facebook with him and got his entire feed because they took him off saying he was like a hate agent or whatever.
But he's never, he was one of the few that's never actually been arrested for speech.
I think Katie Hopkins has, if I'm not mistaken, but Tommy actually hasn't.
But they have very, very strict laws and you can 100% be arrested for your speech over there.
My dog licks his butthole and ate my throw up the other day.
I'm pretty sure my dog has other problems than fascism.
I just want to say that.
My dog could use a little fascism.
In fact, a little police state might not be problematic.
If my dog was a Nazi, at least he probably would be well groomed.
And, you know, I'll deal with the racism maybe a little bit or the police state issue.
But as long as he's following orders, a little pawhail is not anything that's going to get me upset because, you know, my dog licking his nuts in front of my guests is a little more offensive to me than his allegiance to the Third Reich.
If I go to a bar and somebody, if I have a choice between seeing somebody throw up on the table and eat his own vomit and do a Hitler salute, I know which one I'm choosing.
That's the scary part for dudes nowadays, especially.
I know several friends who've kind of like, thankfully it's never like blown into anything, but kind of one of those where everything's perfectly consensual until four days later and they're just like, wow, that was a really fun time.
You know, it's good hanging out with you.
You know, have a good life.
Four days later, they're like, I can't believe you did that to me.
Yeah, no, I was gonna say like that's the key thing too.
It's like I don't but I don't I don't know how we got here from the people raping the people, but yeah, that's like a real problem in our culture.
I've had friends have to go to court even for being accused of things that was just like an ex-girlfriend was getting back at them or like things were happening and they just like gave false accusations.
Like men, men are like freaked out today in our culture, like genuinely, because I guess like it's the whole consent thing, right?
It's like you have to, they say you should have like a contract before you get involved in a sexual encounter.
That's literally what they're saying now, that it's so questionable.
No, but I'm saying like they literally are saying that it's like such a big deal.
And like we've gotten into a culture too where we've cheapened rape into every every time you regret having sex, you got raped.
And it's like, well, your regret is not a rape.
Your regret is your own stupidity.
And you're cheapening victims of actual rape who are genuinely brought into a situation, forced against their will, put into these things.
And like, that's, that's what the Me Too movement basically did.
It cheapened, like, no one even cares anymore.
The believe all women thing, it was like the vaccines are 100% safe and effective.
And then Biden gets, gets COVID twice.
Like, I think I just got tired of it.
I got tired of like, I get tired of everybody being such bullshit.
And then now it's like, maybe there are good vaccines out there, but a lot of us don't actually want to take any vaccines.
Like, I've moved away from everything.
They said, believe all women.
I've moved into a place where I just don't believe women that much anymore at all.
Like it actually backfired.
You know what I mean?
Like when they try, Black Lives Matter tried to end racism.
And I feel like it worsened race relations.
Zubi put a poll out and like 80, it was like 26,000 votes and over 80% of people thought BLM worsened relations, race relations between men and women, or not men and women, between black people and white people.
And so it's like, I feel like this whole culture of like consent and all this stuff where they're like trying to like minimize rape actually breaks down even the relations between men and women and probably is one of the leading causes why men don't want to date anymore.
So get porn, because it's like, why mess around with women, why get involved, why even take chances when I can just go masturbate to, to Hentai, and that's, that's the uh, that's the.
The crazy part is, uh, like before the believe all women thing with uh turns into this massive, massive witch hunt.
Uh, like before that I think you know you were probably on the, you know, normal end of the spectrum as far as believing women.
Like, believing women when it matt went, when it's like, when it makes sense to do so uh, and then, after that whole charade, now you're, you're on the repeal, the 19th amendment train.
Well, everyone's just so bullshit like this is my favorite sticker, this one's like George Washington, what the fuck y'all be doing me and the boys would never put up with that with, with this like that's the point.
It's like I don't under, I don't understand.
Everyone's so bullshit that.
It's like you tell me that there's a disease monkeypox, i'm gonna get it.
I don't believe you.
You make an accusation against someone.
I don't believe you.
You tell me somebody's racist.
I don't believe you.
You tell me someone's a Nazi.
I just don't believe you because it's like if you're gonna really do something, you're gonna like.
I always say, this justice is found behind closed doors and justice is not a pr stunt.
And in the world of social media it's like if you had a vaccine that was really safe and effective, it wouldn't need a pr campaign.
Like if you go to Amber Heard and go out and tell everyone in the world that Johnny Depp beat you up he probably didn't.
You would have just went to court and like, solved the issue and used the evidence.
But Everything's about showcasing today and it's about grandstanding.
And so it's like, I just don't take very many people that seriously because it's all about narcissism, being vindictive, taking people down, pushing your agenda.
And it's like literally never about the truth.
And so most of the public, I feel like, has genuinely come to a position to where everything that's said by just about anybody, this is what's so sad.
They photoshop pictures like from, I don't know, 10, 20 years ago or something like that.
They faked the study for like saying that the buildup of plaque in your brain is one of the main drivers for Alzheimer's.
And it's been now every other scientist who's been doing anything for the last 10, 20 years on it has been going off that study.
They found out that it was fake.
Then the whistleblower wrote to the NIH and then they still funded the guy who faked this study anyway.
By the way, that study was faked here in Texas.
But so we could have had a cure to Alzheimer's in the last 10 years, but because the guy faked the study and now they're like, trust the science, trust the science.
I don't trust anybody.
I don't trust anything unless I know it like verified 100% with like evidence in my own life.
Like absolutely not.
I don't trust anyone, anything.
Like we're faking Alzheimer's stuff.
We probably could have had the cure to cancer.
We probably could have had the cure to Alzheimer's.
We probably could have had the cure to everything, but they lie.
They lie non-stop for what?
For clout, for money, for influence, for anything.
It is the most disgusting thing.
And that's why these people, there was like a neighbor that my mom had a mask out on.
I was like, follow the science, you know, masks don't work, whatever.
But like, honestly, they're like pushing this, like, science has become the new God, which really bothers me.
Like, this whole enlightenment thing went way out of control.
And it's like, instead of, you know, being religious or doing anything else, it's like, follow the science.
But they lie.
It's not even real.
I'm starting to even go like flat earth land over here because I don't trust anyone.
Like, I'm not going that far, but like a little bit, a little bit.
What blows my mind is that it was like for half a fucking century, the belief from the left was you can't trust corporations.
You can't trust big pharma.
All these people are out to hurt you.
They're just out to make a buck.
They don't believe in anything other than making a dollar and lying to you.
And then all it took was just one chance to be the hero and do your part.
And we all have to, we're in this together.
We finally found a problem in society that needs solving.
That's an actual issue, even if it isn't.
And then they just all got on board.
Now it's like, if you don't trust Pfizer, then you are the devil.
You are the enemy.
You need to be destroyed.
Like the amount of people I'm sure on the left side that would have said, okay, would you be in favor of euthanizing people who would not take the vaccine?
Like I would be, I think most people would be surprised by the amount of people on the left that would if you took a real poll asking lefties if they would wish that conservatives or people on the right would die.
I guarantee you it would come back overwhelmingly.
David on the farm next door doesn't agree with that.
Like, it's like, dude, you know what?
I'm not trying to get away from black people.
Maybe I'm trying to get away from city people and the way that black people act in cities because maybe a black farmer is super based and dope and I don't mind being around him, hence why racism is not real.
It's perceived as a fake construct of shitty city living.
It's like, no, do I want to live around a bunch of like gangs and people that fucking have high crime?
Like in Detroit, commit 88% of them violent crime.
No, I don't.
Do I give a damn if my neighbor out in the rural is a black guy?
No, because you know what?
He probably has the values of somebody who's not a victim and who doesn't, he's not a victim of a system.
And it's like, so I love when these people say that.
And it's like, there are plenty of rural living black people out there.
We are living in a golden age of female video game protagonists.
Did you see that GTA 6?
The reason why I don't care, like, no one cares if there's a lead woman in a video game, but it's just the woke people that are like, if you're buying Grand Theft Auto 6, I don't think having a woman lead is going to be a redeeming value in a game like that.
Because if you're buying that, you're buying that to do some crazy shit in a video game.
And like, having a woman isn't exactly the win you're thinking of.
Because it's not going to be a great woman lead that's going to be in that.
This is not like a home eck video where, you know, the character in Grand Theft Auto makes sandwiches for the homeless.
Like you're just killing pedestrians and like shooting cops.
Literally one of the only, like, I mean, and I do love a good, a good match of Mario Party or something like that with the Boys of Mario Kart, but alone, there's probably no better game you could play for longer than Grand Theft Auto.
Believe personally, people would disagree with that.
But Sophie Halili, with another bad take fresh off the grill, has let us know that misgendering someone is not hurting their feelings.
It's anti-trans violence and hate speech and it should be illegal.
You can still said, misgendering someone is not hurting their feelings, so it doesn't actually hurt their feelings yeah, but if you're, it's actual violence and that hurts, right.
Okay, so this is the part of the show where we're only gonna watch a couple minutes.
We're gonna get through this over the next like six months probably.
This is the part of the show where we watch another few minutes of this one hour hit piece that they made about the show and about we watch a couple I don't know i've never seen.
We're watching it live together like I have not seen it and we're only 13 minutes through.
We'll try to get through at least a couple minutes.
And um, and we'll just see, because it's called Religious Right Commentary and the Rise of Elijah Schaefer and it's basically how the show is.
Uh, training people into becoming Nazis and fascists.
From what i've heard, and the top comment is, i'm a.
I fear that someone like this has a platform and I felt really complimented by that.
I literally talk about the fact that that we went out.
Um, can we go to full screen here for four?
Can we see us for a second?
Yeah okay, I literally talk about Brandon.
I like started this show out to literally make fun of people like that's what it started out with originally was like just hey, these people are so retarded and I want everyone to see how dumb people are in La, and that's how it started.
But then, like also, I ended up somehow getting like a federal press credential and like doing real reporting too.
I don't know if these people ever heard of something it's called being a dynamic person.
It's like this crazy thing where, like you're not just one-sided and care about queer ideology, like you can do new things to protests where, where people are protesting something, it's not just like random on the street, like you did do some random on the street, but use mostly protests or big events or rallies or these sort of things.
So it's like, okay, don't cover protests, what the people of America are upset about.
Well no, the point was also, I also reject his like uh, I guess parameters of the definition of like reporting and journalism, where he's like well, he's got a political goal, which means he can't be an actual journalist.
Yeah, no, what I'm saying, like, like, as being a dynamic person, obviously, I'm going to have lots of interests.
And so the diversity of what I'm going to do is going to change.
But also, like, I always say this to people, I go, you fucking did this to yourselves.
Okay, like, we did, like, we did, we did, like, over a billion views on Twitter in one year, just on the footage.
But I will say, it's like, I wanted to make fun of you, and you guys started killing people and ruining my fun.
And you guys started burning shit down.
And, like, I was just trying to have fun and talk to you guys and like make fun of you.
And then, like, then you started trying to have sex with our kids in schools and telling us that we're bigots for not allowing it while shutting down our country.
And you guys just accelerated things.
And that's what the left always does.
They're always victims of the reality that they make for themselves.
Like, and you know, and then he said he became a reporter.
It's like, well, yeah, because unfortunately, making fun of people in front of City Hall is not so funny when you're watching people get killed in the streets.
It changes the, it changes the tone of the product just slightly.
As a result, these protests are framed as random assemblies of people who don't particularly know why they're there or what they believe and who are deeply confused about the world around them.
It's at odds with other types of protest coverage where you might get clips like this.
There are people who are out there when they go back in the morning to get us jobs, get us loans, give us access, give us a chance.
If we don't get no economic justice, we're still going to be in a situation that we're walking around and police are going to be able to do whatever they want to do to us.
Or maybe something like this.
There's an issue with people thinking that this is solely an American thing.
It's not an American thing.
Solely, white supremacy is worldwide.
We need to acknowledge that a lot of the foundations for white supremacy in America were built in the UK.
These are interviews with people who have genuinely and firmly held beliefs.
And what's more, they give you an understanding of why people are attending these protests and what they're hoping to achieve.
You still may not agree with them, but at the very least, you understand where they're coming from.
Schaefer was not interested in producing this type of understanding, but rather videos he could use for mockery.
The goal of these videos isn't to build a resume of genuine reporting to lead to the job of talk show host, but rather conservative theater dressed up as journalism that would lead to a job spouting out propaganda to advance a right-wing agenda.
These protest videos were an immediate success, and Schaefer was quickly embraced by the world of right-wing media, particularly because, as Schaefer describes himself, they were used to target a younger audience, which the right-wing traditionally struggled with.
I would just say, though, like, it was like, it was like, dude, look, you guys were, they were so retarded, Brandon, on the way that they were like treating Trump for all those years.
And somebody had to blast them.
Like, I know a lot of people did, but I was like, we got to blast these people.
Was like much success, bro.
You guys were, you guys were a theater.
It was funny.
You guys were like showcasing, you guys were trying to make a fake thing serious.
This is what I've always tried to do.
The media creates these fake narratives, and they take it so seriously.
Like, there's a black justice movement going through the streets.
I'm like, nah, these are crazy hoodlums that are psychotic and they're confused.
And we need to, like, they can't even break a window with a rock.
Last one the fat chick from Dallas her Okay, can we actually go to that real fast?
That was my favorite person I think I've ever seen at a protest.
Like, that made Tucker Carlson even.
He was just like, and I like that you just put this on the screen and you go, protests erupted in Dallas over the abortion law, and you just show that.
But yeah, no, I mean, we have to be worried about it anytime.
Really, what it is, is it's a great example of why we should not compromise on anything because anytime you give them an inch, they will shit a mile because we just passed that kind of mediocre gun bill.
And then we're like, okay, well, at least you're not coming after my guns.
And then immediately afterward, they're like, oh, we got away with that.
Somebody also said that I have too much makeup on.
Little do they know that I've been stranded without hardly any and was like trying to reapply in the camera because it's been like such, I've been stranded with what, no bags for like five, six hours.
What would you say to the people simping online to women?
You're like a guy that looks like me, just like a normal looking guy, and you're going after tens on the internet and 10 E-celebrities on the internet.
I don't know how monolith has gone from being a fan of Sean, actual Justice Warrior, to stalking people at Better Discourse events to now being talked about on your show.
I like monolith because his, I remember I went to the training monolith how to talk to women, and then the hot girls were having mock conversations with him and being like, hey, monolith, so what are you doing?
You can allow guns into bars, but at the same time, it's like, okay, but you'll have people leaving guns outside of bars, and then you get guns easily into the hands of felons who can't buy them legally.
Then you have this whole other fucking cascading issue that you never bring up, you know?
Yeah, Arizona, Texas is pretty based, especially after we got constitutional carry.
I don't know.
There's a lot of, pretty much every flyover state's pretty decent.
It's when you get to the states that are in the, you know, the Northeast, California, Oregon, Washington, all the, basically the shithole states that I get a rash if I'm in for too long.
Wait, we should talk about how in the last show I was on, people were like, oh, Elijah, he has girls that are around him that aren't affiliated with his wife.
I'm like, if you know Elijah, oh, you know, anybody that's around him is around Kez.
Like, I think I talk to Kez more than I talk to you.
I have a pretty bad, I'm going to piss off certain groups of people who watch this, but it's like, can we go back to when like porn was just like, oh, like you're looking at titty magazine?
I would eat it sometimes to go to bed, and I decided that it was making me, I decided that it was making me like cloudy the next day, and there's got to be a better alternative than like something that doesn't affect you so much the next day to fall asleep.
So I decided to stop eating weed gummies, which I was never doing in Texas, by the way, because it's illegal here.
I feel like the Delta 8 and stuff, it's like, I feel like it definitely lowers your drive.
Maybe not for some people, but I feel like you wake up and you just feel a little more willing to kick back the next morning, a little more relaxed, a little bit of a stress reliever.
I wasn't like smoking joints, which I don't really care if people do.
But what I was thinking, too, was that it was like the Delta 8 was like, oh, well, here's some way to use a weed variant to go to bed.
But yeah, maybe you didn't know because that's I'm high strung and I have a hard time falling asleep.
If you have any other remedies, people, to fall asleep or like they can help you fall asleep that doesn't involve being groggy the next morning, because even too much melatonin, I feel like that's why I tried something different.
Yeah, like they're just those, like, I don't know who owns those.
You're arrested immediately.
I don't like those people that own it.
But it was one of those dogs.
And I come and it was, it was a big brownie, probably could have fed like eight people, like taking guys out like Brandon and my weight, like pretty taking us out.
It was very concentrated.
That little dog ate half of it.
And it was just standing there with its little shitty, dirty eyes going.
You look like I'm trying to make some healthier choices right now in my life because I started to notice that I look like I'm dying.
So I've like cut off going to conferences and like I'm trying to like reduce like I want to get healthy and even like work on just a lot of things like not really being partying and just make some better choices because I'm like the life is starting to just like wear me down.
But I will tell you, Vegas is always a great time.
It costs way more money than you ever planned on spending there.
And you always at least leave with one regret.
Then it's not Vegas until you have one regret.
It's one regret trip.
I will say before I end this, there was two more memes that we'll close on.
Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.
It's the pleats.
It's actually an optical illusion in the pattern on the pants.
It's not flattering in the cross region.
We have that, and we have one more as well, which is here.