Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer - ROASTING the SH*T Out of GROOMERS with Comedian Dave Landau

April 14, 2022 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer

01:09:39

ROASTING the SH*T Out of GROOMERS with Comedian Dave Landau | Ep 243

ALL STATEMENTS MADE IN THIS EPISODE ARE MEANT AS PARODY: Groomers used to be the people who bathed your dog and clipped your cat’s claws. Now groomers are our teachers trying to turn your freaking kids gay. These groomers are coming for our kids and using YouTube to pervert them. It’s about time we look at how ridiculous the education system has gotten and just put these people on blast once and for all. Comedian Dave Landau of BlazeTV's "Louder with Crowder" joins in one of the most hilarious episodes yet. ________________________________________________________________ ⇩ TODAY'S SPONSORS ⇩Show more MY PATRIOT SUPPLY: Now is the best time to prepare for the future. Check out the brand we love most for preparedness and emergency food supply at https://mypatriotsupply.com/. Right now you can save $50 on their 4-week emergency supply food kit that will stay fresh for up to 25 years! Don't wait!! FIRSTLEAF: Need a delicious glass of wine after watching the insanity on this show? So do we, which is why we use Firstleaf. Firstleaf is one of the best wine clubs that will help you discover amazing new wines personalized to your taste and delivered right to your door! Go to https://tryfirstleaf.com/offensive and you'll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 with free shipping iTARGET PRO: Looking to up your shooting game without having to spend hundreds on ammo every month? Check out iTarget Pro, the revolutionary system that allows you to dry-fire practice, with your actual firearm, in the comfort, safety and privacy of your own home. Go to https://www.itargetpro.com/ and use coupon code OFFENSIVE for 10% off and FREE SHIPPING! ________________________________________________________________ ⇩ FOLLOW THE GUESTS⇩ DAVE LANDAU COMEDY SPECIAL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eibWo9t6pos&t=6s INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/dave.landau/ TWITTER:: https://twitter.com/LandauDave ________________________________________________________________ Become a subscriber at BlazeTV https://get.blazetv.com/slightly-offensive/ use my code "ELIJAH" to get $10 off a full year ________________________________________________________________ Slightly Offens*ve Merch: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/elijah-schaffer ________________________________________________________________ DOWNLOAD AUDIO PODCAST & GIVE A 5 STAR RATING!: APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/slightly-offens-ve-uncut/id1450057169 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/7jbVobnHs7q8pSRCtPmC41?si=qnIgUqbySSGdJEngV-P5Bg (also available Google Podcasts & wherever else podcasts are streamed) ______________________________________________________________ ➤BOOKINGS/INQUIRIES: [email protected] _________________________________________________________________ ⇩ SOCIAL MEDIA ⇩ ➤ INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/slightlyoffensive.tv ➤ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer ➤ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/officialslightlyoffensive _________________________________________________________________ The Idea Of A Free Society...For Kids! Head to https://teachrealprinciples.com for a unique book series that introduces the important ideas that schools no longer teach. Show less

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	Warning.
	The language and topics discussed in this podcast are uncensored and meant for mature audiences, which is 18 and older and fourth grade and under in most public schools across America.
	Viewer discretion is advised.
	Watching porn doesn't make you a bad person.
	It means you're curious.
	It's normal to want to know about sex and naked bodies.
	I mean, look at this guy's penis.
	Isn't it just unreal?
	whoa whoever said white people can't dance I mean, look at those moves.
	They're impressive almost as much as that erection, an actual dick, on a cartoon that was not on Adult Swim, but it's actually a public YouTube video to teach children about sex.
	You thought porn was bad about unrealistic penis sizes.
	That was one half of his body.
	Somebody who's very familiar with drawing dicks in classrooms and running people and saying, comedian and co-host and louder with Crowder.
	Dave Landau, welcome to Slightly Offensive First.
	Boy, I thought you made that video.
	That is horrifying that that is for the kids.
	People say, they go, you guys talk about dicks too much on your show.
	And I go, well, yes.
	I mean, if you're talking about physical dicks or like half the people in the government, that's true.
	Yes.
	But also, I can't help it because that's what half of the content is today.
	Yeah, there's a lot of huge cocks out there.
	So it's going to come up.
	That's not a pun either.
	A lot of dicks.
	But you do.
	Okay.
	So, and summarizing, I mean, I've seen your comedy Central Special.
	Yes.
	And you've actually driven someone to the brink of insanity through the use of drawing phallic shapes.
	I did.
	I drew penises all over my teacher's chalkboard for six months.
	And I began to hide them in various places.
	It was pretty exciting.
	And then she went nuts one day and just started screaming, who's the penis master?
	Who's the penis master?
	I swear in my son, this happened like dozens of times.
	She's like, who is the penis master?
	And I was like, I'm the penis master, which is a weird thing to say to your teacher.
	So she brought me to the principal's office.
	I ended up getting suspended for a week.
	Of course, they had my mom sign a slip.
	I didn't sign it, though.
	I drew a dick on the signature line.
	I was like, here's your John Hancock.
	And then I got suspended for another week.
	I went to three high schools in high school for five years.
	I'm so shocked, Dave.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I wasn't good at it.
	Yeah.
	I liked drugs at the time.
	So yeah, it was fun.
	I've been to a couple high schools myself also because of drugs and whatnot.
	And, you know, it makes us all a better person.
	I think so.
	You get to know different people from different groups, different walks of life.
	Yeah, I mean, like, not only did you draw dicks, you've had naked werewolves attack you in mental illusions.
	Yes, I've been arrested.
	I bonged a fifth.
	Literally of liquor.
	Yeah, of liquor.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And that's just people who are not alcoholics.
	That's an entire bottle.
	Yes, I was already drunk and on pills.
	Yeah.
	I worked at it.
	Your liver's crying and I'm laughing.
	Oh, yeah.
	My liver is almost back, though.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, because I've been sober since I was, I got sober at 27.
	I think the last time I, well, I know the last time I drank was when I was 30.
	But yeah, I've been sober since I was 27.
	So, and now I'm 39.
	And yeah, it's bad.
	It's about time.
	Yeah, it's so fun.
	Well, it's better now.
	No, I think back on it, it's definitely like, oh, that was bad.
	But then you think about all the good times.
	It wasn't all bad.
	I mean, sure, there's the times where you have your car that you get out, you get up in the morning, you look at it, and you're like, I hope that's deer blood.
	Yeah, I remember I'm like, I'm on my second marriage.
	My first wife, of course, like, she died.
	No one knows how, but I don't remember either.
	They were like, how'd she die?
	I'm like, I don't know.
	Who knows?
	Check the security cameras.
	Those are out too.
	Strange.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	It wasn't your gun.
	Yeah, it's like I have no idea.
	But it is cool to have you here because obviously, I told you we have a lot of comics on the show, and we have the two categories of the comics.
	You have the currently alcoholics, which are working on their bits for Comedy Central that are going to happen in 2027.
	Yes.
	Through Heartbreak, and also just if you're one of those comics preparing for your next divorce.
	And then you have the sober comics, which have used all of the chaos in their life for the good.
	And you're one of those people.
	I mean, you've gone up and down and all around, but you're back here and you have some live shows coming up.
	If I understand, yes.
	Yeah, I'm going to be in, let's see, the Meyer Theater, April 30th in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
	And then you can go to all my shows, DaveLanda.com, also Virginia Beach.
	I got a bunch of shows.
	Crowder and I will be in Royal Oak, Michigan.
	I'm glad I'm saying this with such confidence.
	Like I know my schedule.
	Just go to Dave Landau.
	I'll be at places.
	Yeah, DaveLanda.com.
	Yeah, I will be in places.
	And just, if I'm not mistaken, on the 22nd, Slightly Offensive, we are going to be live as well at Indiana University, University of Indiana.
	Yes, I believe that's correct.
	All right.
	We're going to be there on the 22nd.
	Follow us, slightlyoffensive.tv on Instagram, on Twitter, at Elijah Schaefer, anywhere you can get the info that we're going to be giving out.
	So again, that's the 22nd of this month.
	We also have speeches coming up on the 27th, the 4th, and the 1st through or 2nd through 4th of June.
	So we got a lot of live shows going on.
	At least to some extent, we're still at least a little relevant.
	Some people want to watch us.
	Some people want to listen to us, but many of you guys know the world is very unpredictable.
	Clearly, Dave and I aren't having trouble finding food.
	No, I no issue with it whatsoever.
	We're finding it, but it obviously is expensive, and you never know when it's not going to be around.
	Because let's just be straight here.
	It's not because there's not enough food around, but people are just too damn fat and they're buying too much of it and they're eating too much of it.
	So many of us out there wonder, what do we do in times of short food?
	Well, number one, you can kill someone and eat them.
	That's true.
	It's kind of gross.
	Or you can get my Patriot supply.
	And you don't need to panic right now.
	So if you head on over to my special page right now, which was preparewithelija.com.
	That's P-R-E-P-A-R-E, W-I-T-H-E-L-I-G-A-H.com, or j a h.com.
	With the threat of worldwide food shortages, you're gonna need emergency food.
	You need it.
	So let me ask you, do you have enough food on hand to feed yourself and your family for a month three months longer, in fact?
	Most of you guys are so lazy you don't even have enough to last you the weekend.
	But the smartest thing that you can do right now is stock up on long-term emergency food storage.
	With my patriot supply, if you go to preparewithelija.com, you'll save a hundred fifty dollars, so you can save the price of one gallon of gas on their generous three-month emergency food kit.
	This kit provides a wide variety of delicious meals your family will love and, trust me, they are good, they are excellent and that means that you'll be well fed.
	When everyone else is standing in the government food line, so everyone's shooting each other.
	And yeah, they're eating rats.
	You have mac and cheese.
	Yeah, mac and cheese objectively better than rats.
	Yeah, you're eating your daughter and they're having mac and cheese.
	And your daughter could eat the mac and cheese.
	And you eat your daughter.
	Yeah exactly, we're doubling up on calories.
	Very handsome Gretel of you.
	Sadly, food can become scarce, so right now, save 150 per kit when you go to Preparewithelija.com.
	That's Preparewithelijah.com.
	Check it out today.
	So I don't know if you're surprised though Dave, but it's.
	It's kind of strange to me that we went from it's not okay to make pedophile jokes to it's not a joke that everybody is openly a pedophile.
	No, it's uh well, I believe it's minor attracted person.
	They're in the CIA.
	It puts a whole new meaning to the those almanac things that used to get, you know, those used to be a directions where to go, and now it just means that you want to have sex with children.
	Right.
	It wasn't to catch a predator.
	Didn't you just want Chris Hansen to shoot them?
	And that would have been the best part of the show.
	Yeah.
	Maybe if they just died at the end, you were like, oh, it's great.
	The best part where you saw that one guy had to catch a predator that got caught twice.
	Oh, yeah, when he comes back, that's the great.
	I think it was a couple guys.
	And he had pizza.
	Yeah.
	I just, I wish Chris had taken the pizza.
	He's like, you want to slice?
	Yeah.
	At least get a slice out of it.
	Yeah, because you're going to get tackled on the driveway.
	Like the second time, you have to know it's coming.
	And he's like, go out that door.
	He's like, well, I know I'm going to get arrested.
	I'm just going to sit in here and eat pizza.
	I got to honestly say, if there's any time to justify a carbohydrate overload, it's shortly before you get arrested for solicitating prostitution with a seven-year-old girl.
	Yeah, I would want to be shitting a lot in jail just to get people away from you.
	You don't want anyone, any access, anything.
	I mean, you've made the mistake too, where you thought that it would be better to go to a mental asylum or a mental hospital than to actually go to prison.
	And I don't think your experience in the mental hospital was so good.
	No, no, it wasn't good at all.
	No, like I said, I got attacked by a wolf boy who attacked me naked.
	That was pretty cool.
	It's like a homo erotic canine experience.
	It was, yeah.
	I mean, he was still a boy.
	He just thought he was a wolf.
	So in his defense, you know, not his fault.
	To me, just a naked guy trying to bite me.
	But see, that's why you got prepared to work with Crowder because you had a first-hand experience of people identifying as things they're not.
	Exactly.
	And technically speaking, I mean, I'm more likely to believe a guy's a werewolf.
	We're furry, we're hairy, we're vicious.
	We can bark.
	He was barking at you at the end of his bed.
	Yes.
	If people don't know this, make sure you type in a Dave Landau Comedy Central special.
	I think it's called Wolf.
	What is it called?
	They called it Wolf Master because they wouldn't let me call it Penis Master.
	Yeah.
	So make sure you actually watch that and check out some of his work if you're not familiar.
	But I mean, we are back to the point where it used to be in a mental institution.
	You had people who were naked just out there pretending to be somebody they're not.
	And now, as I saw from a, I don't know if you saw the recent family guy where the guy was like at the bar and he's like, there's a, he goes, excuse me, ma'am.
	You're not allowed to look at pornography here at the bar.
	You can't look at porn here.
	And then the man's voice comes out of the girl and goes, yeah, no, sorry, I'm transgender.
	And he goes, oh, sorry, are you transgender?
	Oh, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
	You want all the time.
	I'm sorry.
	I didn't know that.
	So it's like, now you can literally get naked, go into a spa, pull your dick out, race some chicks, win a couple medals.
	And it's like, you're the crazy person for calling them out.
	That's like, I don't know how many years it's been, but that's been a pretty fast acceleration.
	It's been three.
	It's been three years.
	It went from just like, well, I don't know if we should talk about this.
	Is it like too taboo?
	To he still has his penis and he's on the girl swim team.
	I just feel like you have to at least not have the penis.
	Like at least be committed enough.
	Like if you still have the dick, I don't feel like you're that committed.
	That's what I was going to say, too.
	So I actually, so I got, I got to talking to a transgender Antifa.
	We call them transtifas on TikTok.
	It's a new thing I'm doing late at night.
	Before, I'd probably drink myself to sleep, and now I've decided what other toxic trait can I bring on?
	And that would be, that would be having conversations with mentally ill people at two in the morning.
	Very, have you seen TikTok live at 2 a.m. in American Center?
	I don't go near TikTok.
	It frightens me.
	You've already gone through your mental phase.
	I'm in the middle of it.
	I'm 20.
	Yeah, no.
	Yeah.
	See, I'm 39.
	I've been in a hospital where when I was 17, people were there for gender issues.
	So now that's not a thing.
	Now you're going to go back probably in two years and get recommitted just for not accepting somebody with a dick being like, that is a dude.
	And it's like, nah, that's not.
	No, no, now they're exactly.
	And they're like, what do you see here?
	Instead of just those, like, what are those photos called that they hold up or those paint splatchers?
	Oh, I don't know what those are.
	Those are mentally ill people.
	Yeah, it's like, what do you see?
	You're like, it's just a guy in a wig.
	No, but like, that's the point.
	This is a dude wearing a crop top that looked like a Satanist with a trans Tifa flag, a transgender Antifa flag.
	Oh, they have that.
	Yeah, but like, I, but I realized that's the new place to go because I had a genuine conversation for about 30 minutes.
	I got this dude to take Estradahl on camera, left me alone accidentally with his audience.
	I was like, just telling them to follow me online.
	And then on top of that, it was like the craziest thing was that he was like, so you don't accept me as a woman.
	And I said, or you don't believe I'm a woman.
	I go, I don't just not.
	Well, I don't believe it, but you also are not.
	And you look at the comments going up, mass report, mass report, mass report.
	It's like, dude, I don't care about my TikTok getting deleted, first of all.
	Second of all, the guy was like, I don't invite him on the show, by the way.
	I would really, if you're watching this, I'm not making fun of you.
	I'd love to have you on the show.
	I come with the crop top, the pentagrams, the piercings, the estradol.
	Let's do that.
	No, it's about having a conversation that people really don't want to have.
	And I really loved it.
	And I thought it was interesting, but I thought it was crazy in the fact that when I looked at this, I'm going, this person has never had anyone just say, you know, not in a mean way, like, no, you're a man.
	And we've gotten to the point to where mass reporting has been me acknowledging the picture that I'm seeing in front of my eyes.
	Like, that's a dude.
	That's a dude with a dick and balls.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Maybe he's the kind of thing.
	I'm sure if he calls his dad, his dad just sends it to voicemail.
	I'm not sure where he's at with that.
	I don't know why it's so many people.
	Like, I have no issue with anybody being what they want to be as an adult.
	It just doesn't bother me.
	That's the truth.
	I don't care.
	Like, do what you want, be who you are.
	But there's a thing now where it's about being liked and accepted and part of a group.
	Like, I don't believe that it's an actual thought that people have.
	Literally.
	It's just about being like.
	That's what he said.
	No, and this is why as we get into this, this, this amaze for children.
	But it's, but the point of the story is, is I'm like, I'm looking at this, and the person's trying to make the case to me about, he literally goes, we should have no restrictions on hormones, on surgeries, or anything for any age.
	And I just said, insane.
	Right.
	And I go, and I go, what's crazy is I go, well, well, here's the deal.
	I go, well, you're making the case to me that when you got on hormones, that it helped you.
	How old are you?
	And he's like, 22.
	I go, how, so your case is that once you were an adult and you went through puberty, you got on hormones and it made you feel better.
	Great.
	Go ahead and do whatever the hell you want, buddy.
	I don't care.
	You're 22.
	You could bomb a fifth and end up in a mental hospital with a naked werewolf with his dick and balls imprinted on your thigh.
	And I didn't even take hormone.
	It was just.
	It was just cigarettes.
	And well, that's why, like, it's like, it's not like I could go into sports and start beating women.
	They'd just be like, who's that fat girl vomiting after doing half a lap?
	It's not like I could do any of that stuff.
	But yeah, it's like, yeah, I know when you realize you're athletic, I got to give Leah Thomas some props.
	I'm like, most of those girls would definitely beat me in the pool.
	So maybe in the ring, too.
	Yeah, she's definitely.
	Yeah, I'm definitely.
	Swimmers?
	I mean, the chicksman, Leah Thomas, you can't tell the difference.
	No, they're Jacks.
	It's the bulge that gives it away.
	It's the penis and the fact that she's a man.
	Where you're like, I think that's her.
	No, but like, this is what's crazy.
	So we're in the argument and they're making this thing.
	And I go, I go, okay, so what are you talking about?
	They go, well, he goes, well, the problem is that there is this mass genocide happening of trans kids from fascists.
	And I just said, where?
	Yeah, where?
	Listen to this.
	They go, well, in Texas, which I'm like, I'm well aware.
	I live here.
	So do you, I'm assuming.
	Yeah, we all have to put a trans kid and drag him behind a truck.
	Yeah.
	How many trans kids did you kill this week?
	This is the part of the show where Elijah talks about things he shouldn't have, and then Dave Landau eggs him on and makes it even worse.
	So it can't be on the main internet, but you can find it at blazetv.com/slash Elijah for the full uncensored video.
	And so I was like, well, where are people genociding trans kids?
	And they're like, well, you know, this Texas law where they take away children from their parents.
	And I said, can I just clarify?
	So your definition of genocide is very different than my definition.
	My definition is the actual correct definition.
	Your definition is parents abusing their kids get taken away.
	I go, bro, that's literally in every situation that kids are abused.
	Chopping off their dick counts as that.
	And then like chemically castrating your kids before their prefrontal cortex is developed counts as well.
	Yeah.
	And are you even referring to abuse?
	Are you talking about the border?
	Is somebody dying in the situation, which would involve genocide?
	You know, it's like we're redefining the terms, dude.
	We're redefining the terms.
	By your, by, yeah, your term of genocide involves no one dying.
	That's a big part of that.
	That would have been so good.
	It's like, hey, the Holocaust, but the Jews all live.
	Right.
	They all live and then the parents who abuse them are in trouble.
	Oh, that sounds horrible.
	Yeah.
	The Jews wouldn't have traded that.
	If only the Jews would have survived.
	That would have all cried.
	That's the real tragedy of World War II.
	That's like, I mean, it is, we've gone full circle.
	And I'm going, oh, so the genocide, the fascistic genocide is this, this law.
	And so we need to sexualize our kids.
	So it's emotional genocide based on who you are because they're taking you away and converting you.
	No, so he called it social, social murder.
	Okay.
	Are you ready for this?
	Nope.
	This is so good.
	I'm really, but yeah.
	So I'm like, so I'm like, and this is how we got into this kids' consent stuff that we're going to talk about because we had this whole conversation.
	Yeah, saying that, yeah, parents can consent.
	And you're like, no, they can't.
	No.
	So this, he goes, so he goes, yeah, social murder.
	Are you familiar with the concept?
	I'm like, oh, this sounds some bullshit from a humanities course.
	Educate me.
	I love saying that educate me.
	Sure.
	And the process came where he goes, well, it's when like policies and things are put in place that lead people to make choices that lead to their early death.
	I said, ah, you mean like the entire food industry?
	He got really confused.
	I go, like, yeah, like, you mean like how we have policies and the FDA produce things and we're all literally dying.
	The number one cause of death literally in America is lifestyle choice and it's the things you put in your body, whether it's from cancers, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, insulin problems beyond that even.
	It's in the sugar industry that's in everything.
	The fact that salt is called sodium and just dumped into everything you eat.
	Why do you think people weren't as fat and dying?
	Like you had to try to be fat in the 1950s.
	Right.
	Now it takes no effort.
	You just have to be poor.
	Or you don't even have to eat that much.
	Or just you, that's, you're not even wrong.
	It's like low, low calorie or high calorie, low density food.
	Yeah, you can be fat and starving.
	Homeless people are obese.
	Yeah.
	We have fat.
	We know we have a problem.
	I say this.
	If we went into colleges and just changed the word racism with like sodium inflammation or just like calorie, calorie over surplus, I believe in systemic calories over surplus.
	I believe in calorie inflammation.
	And I think that's what's killing people.
	And he was so lost.
	Like he had never heard it.
	I go, yeah, you mean like all the systems in place that are meant to keep us healthy, ugly, poor, and down from the financial system to everything.
	Buddy, the trans thing is, it's just, you're talking about life.
	All of life is meant to keep us down and around.
	And so, yeah, brother, it's not the hormones that are keeping kids.
	It's the system that's making kids think they're trans.
	That's the problem.
	It's the sexual, like the fact that a kid knows what that is.
	The first time I heard of trans was a trans fat when I was like in ninth grade.
	Yes.
	And then the time when someone said a trans person, I always just thought of a prostitute that ends up getting shot.
	Well, yeah, for duping you.
	Yeah.
	Which has been my case many times.
	Three last week.
	Yeah.
	Peyton.
	So you have a lot of, I know, and that's, but here's a key thing, but at least you saved money.
	Well, yeah, you don't have to pay them if they're dead.
	I left the cash.
	I don't know why I do that.
	I feel like I should take it back.
	You just leave it.
	I just hurt.
	It covers the coroner fees from the city.
	I just feel better.
	Yeah.
	At least it's like taxes.
	It's like it's a guilt tax.
	It's like penance, you know, like on the stairs of like the Catholic Church in the medieval days.
	Yeah, I'm like, you're probably going to burn this thing.
	Get it.
	Get somebody out of purgatory.
	Yeah, something like that.
	That works.
	Well, speaking of this, so.
	No, you're right, though.
	It is pretty insane how they don't realize that that is a thing where when I was young, like type 2 diabetes really didn't exist a lot in kids.
	No.
	Now, it is an epidemic.
	Type one, you could be born with.
	Type two is when your parents give you Mountain Dew every day of your life starting from birth.
	Well, and this is the crazy part: I want to read this article.
	So, there's this article that I'm going to open up here if you give me a second.
	It's called From Amaze.
	So, we have this group called Amaze.
	Actually, it's a PDF because my producer is awesome and actually doesn't make me get stuck on that.
	So, we have this lesson plan called Sex, Etc.
	Why Wonder?
	A lesson plan by Allison Sandak, MA, for professionals working with teens.
	And by the way, this is from 2014, but they're still using it.
	So, they've been working on this for a while.
	And this is what does consent look like.
	And I'm not going to go through the PDF, but we may make it available to you.
	Time needed is 50 minutes.
	If you need 50 minutes to explain consent, I think you've lost the plot.
	Yeah, it should just be yes.
	That's good.
	Dude, we made consent so easy that literally no is also no in Spanish.
	If you're in California, you can't even use language barriers.
	No, it's the Mexicans.
	You can't just rape the Mexicans and be like, I didn't know.
	It's like, dude, they have the same language, bro.
	There were five no's before that very nervous C. Seemed like a rape.
	They might say no, senor, but at least you got the no.
	No, senor, please.
	No.
	No, no, senor.
	No, no, no, no.
	That's not the problem, Stick, Senor.
	Lemon pledge.
	Yeah, there's no.
	No, you're right, though.
	That's really.
	Wow.
	I think there's this much of a gray area.
	Oh, there is.
	Look at it.
	And I'm going to read this to you guys right now.
	This is crazy.
	So this is what it says about consent.
	So on Saturday evening, after the Greenson High School Warriors won a big baseball game in advance to the playoffs, many of the players were out celebrating at a teammate's house.
	Okay, so these are definitely teenagers.
	You got a big baseball game.
	I mean, let's get some picture here.
	Let's get some imagery.
	We have where everyone's hanging out.
	They go to the teammate's house.
	You're there.
	I'm there.
	We're just there, okay?
	Put ourselves back in the day.
	Bethany, she already sounds like she's up into trouble.
	Yeah.
	She doesn't sound like a cool girl.
	No.
	Bethany sounds.
	She's wandered into the wrong party, I feel.
	Bethany is the one that thinks no guys would want her.
	And we're going to find out they probably do because she's dumb.
	Yeah, but they don't want her twice.
	Oh, you're already.
	You must have read that panel.
	No, I have a feeling, though.
	I've met Bethany.
	So she started to feel lightheaded and dizzy.
	Wait, you predicted this, ready?
	After an excessive amount of alcohol.
	Oh, dear.
	So this is where it always starts with the consent thing.
	Like, why does consent always begin with everybody's just assumedly drunk?
	Like, this is we have an alcohol problem, not a consent problem.
	If teenagers are drunk at a teammate's house, that's a parental supervisional problem, not really a consent issue.
	Everybody I know who ever hooked up in high school was drunk.
	Everyone, including myself.
	That's why they're like, if you've been drinking, it is considered sexual assault.
	I'm like, oh, so I've raped literally everyone I've ever been with.
	It says, Matt, I've raped myself.
	Yeah, the girl raped me as well.
	Yeah, my wife just raped me.
	But I endless times.
	Where's my wife?
	I'm going to put her in jail.
	No, but we didn't have that either.
	And I mean this as a genuine thing.
	And jokes aside, I do have a statement of saying not all drinking leads to sexual immorality, but every bit of sexual immorality almost always involves drinking.
	Of course.
	So it's like, it's like a, and I'm not talking crap because I understand people like to drink and not all drinking is sin and you know, et cetera.
	And people do enjoy drinking.
	But especially when you're like 16 at a teammate's baseball house with freaking Beth.
	Yeah.
	Come on, you know Beth.
	She's not ready for this.
	No, and you gave her too much.
	No, you gave her too much.
	Well, yeah.
	I was kind of tipping it into her mouth.
	Before anyone talks about rape charges, you were 16.
	You didn't know better.
	I didn't know.
	I just thought Beth seemed to like the drinks when I gave her more.
	Okay, so Dave and Beth are out there.
	So Jackson and Philip.
	Jackson and Philip are there?
	Yeah, Jackson and Philip.
	I know.
	I know.
	Philip, first of all, we know Philip.
	He's in the weird shit.
	Yeah, he's.
	He's the hentai guy.
	They call him Philip because he fills himself up.
	That's his mom died when he's young.
	I think he's trying to fill that void.
	I forgot.
	He's filling up the void.
	I even forgot.
	I'm already too drunk right at the party.
	I don't even remember.
	Phillips in, all right.
	Hey, what's up, Philip?
	He told her that they would get her home safely.
	I like, we like where this is going.
	Yeah, because they're not.
	Because they're not.
	Jackson and Philip helped Bethany into their friend's car.
	So they do have a license.
	We don't.
	Look, have you checked if the driver's sober?
	Because we don't know.
	No, I don't know if the driver's sober.
	I'm looking out the window.
	She's getting in.
	She should be fine.
	What's what could a 16-year-old, a drunk chick, and a car and alcohol cause problems?
	I never crashed a car the first day I got my license.
	It's true.
	And I've never literally did.
	I never.
	First DUI was the first day, drop.
	Dude, I literally got a DUI before.
	I cracked, dude.
	I one time I, uh, do you know what ambient is?
	Yeah.
	So I didn't know that like ambient is ambien.
	Yeah, well, it's Xanax, but it's called Ambien.
	I was just younger, bro.
	Literally one time woke up in jail when I was younger.
	Yeah.
	Was so confused how to read a police report.
	I just like went to bed.
	I came home.
	My mom's like, where were you?
	And I was like, in jail.
	And she was like, and I was barefoot and I was like, all like bloodied and messed up.
	You're like, Phil and Jackson called me and we needed to get Bethany right home.
	Yeah, this was the night before, this is last week before this party.
	I've recouped.
	I got sober for a week.
	No, but all I did was take Ambien the night before.
	Bro, I broke out of my screen window.
	I come into my room.
	A door's locked.
	I have to break open my door.
	All my furniture is pushed into the corner of the room.
	The windows busted out.
	I left out my window.
	I mean, this is a story I've pieced together.
	I took prescription medication because I was like on Adderall and they gave me Ambien to like balance the Adderall.
	Yeah, help you sleep.
	And then I went out the window, got into a car, drove down the street towards Pico Rivera, which, by the way, if you live in LA, I've lived there, yeah.
	You don't go to Pica Rivera if you're white.
	And I went down, smashed into a center divider 80 miles per hour.
	They put me on suicide watch.
	I thought I was trying to commit suicide.
	I was trying to get a good night's rest.
	End up with double charge felony.
	End up getting out of it.
	I mean, you did sleep well.
	The concussion led to a lot of good sleep.
	And I had to go to court and be like, in a class action and be like, they're like, so what are you here for?
	And I'm like, just trying to get a good night's rest.
	Dude, my brother was on it and he stopped taking it.
	And it's not nearly as bad as that, but he just had that.
	Like, I guess a lot of people had this.
	They would go to Taco Bell.
	Yes, everyone.
	This is a car.
	I looked it on.
	This is like a comic.
	Everyone gets up.
	People have killed people.
	People shot people on Ambien and they prescribe it to children.
	Yeah, I don't get it.
	He just woke up one day and was like, I went to Taco Bell last night.
	I'm like, so he goes, I don't remember it.
	And then I ordered a bunch of stuff and I ate it.
	Like it was just all there.
	And he didn't remember doing it.
	Do you know when I started calling it?
	Because it's called Zobodim Tartrate.
	So eventually, because my friend took it and he ended up peeing in his parents' room in the middle of the night and he doesn't remember it.
	While they were sleeping?
	Yeah, but they woke up and he was peeing in the room.
	And this is this day prescribed this stuff.
	I got off of it.
	The next day I dumped it.
	It's like golden showering his parents or like in the corner.
	Well, Philip and Jackson are that.
	He's at least.
	We'll get into that.
	But I will say, I started calling it the helmet of Zolderon.
	Yeah.
	Because I just felt like it was like this thing that went on your head and you just did crazy stuff.
	It's like, if anyone's anyone's really into drugs, this true story.
	Yeah.
	Frightened, freaked out.
	I still don't know what happened.
	The cops were laughing at me.
	They were like, bro, because they're like, you showed up barefoot in your shorts with like no shirt on.
	Like, I was in bed.
	Yeah.
	My brother was sleeping.
	You're like, I didn't know there was a door in my room.
	I took it out.
	I broke out my window.
	Which I sex furniture up to.
	I've had a weird life.
	We've all had weird lives.
	That's how you get into the stuff.
	You don't get into media unless you've at least had like one arrest for like trying to for possibly killing people.
	It's not.
	You barely get out of it.
	Yeah.
	At least we didn't kill anyone.
	No, I'm very lucky.
	I ended up getting it taken off my record, though, because I represented myself in court and it turned out telling the judge, showing them that this is a common side effect.
	I would just say if a common side effect was people doing things unknowingly that leading to their death and many others' deaths, I would probably take that off the market.
	But you know what?
	Moderna and Pfizer capitalized on Ambien's woes and just went, if Ambien gets away with it, let's just give it out to the rest of the world in three or four doses.
	That's strange.
	Let's do it.
	So they didn't care about the side effects and just gave it to people?
	Yeah.
	And it's still out.
	People are still doing it.
	No, my doctor had asked because I have sleeping problems and if I wanted it.
	And I was like, no.
	I'm like, I've heard way too much about it.
	And it's like, she was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't.
	Hey, give it to a 19-year-old who doesn't even know what Zolpodim tartrate means.
	That's a good idea.
	Yeah, I don't want it, though.
	Well, like, I don't, there's, I've already known what I'm capable of in a blackout.
	I don't want to, I don't want to relive that.
	Okay, well, here we go.
	We're back.
	We're living it.
	Jackson and Philip held Bethany into their friend's car, and then a few of the other friends hopped in as well.
	Bethany passed out soon after they left.
	Oh, she's in the car drunk.
	Oh, no.
	Okay.
	Jackson suggested they go to his house since his parents wouldn't be home.
	Wait, so wait, what?
	Jackson suggested he go to his house since his parents wouldn't be home.
	So Philip started kissing her.
	Oh, no.
	So in the 1970s, they would just call this major league baseball.
	I know we used to call this Friday in high school.
	And now it's rape.
	Dude, I swear everyone in my high schools will probably at some point, like, don't be woke because everyone's going to jail for some form of rape.
	There's eye rape.
	There's eye rape now.
	Don't eye rape me.
	You've been eye raping me since you walked in.
	Yeah, I have been.
	It's poking someone is, what is it, microaggression, I believe it's called?
	Yeah, microaggression.
	That's what, that's the word.
	Facebook started out with microaggressions.
	Microaggressions.
	That's when it first started being rape.
	When someone poked me on Facebook, I'd always ask, with what?
	Yes.
	It's just presuming.
	I think people are nasty.
	So she shook her head from side to side, indicating she wanted him to stop.
	We've also used to call that being blacked out, drunk, and unaware.
	Yes.
	Or as we called it, a yes.
	A green light.
	Also, you think, too, like, I was doing this in the beginning, and that was, I was letting you guys dancing.
	So, what I was saying no to sex because Dave didn't even offer, and I was still doing this.
	Yeah, that was, it could have, it could have been a hearty yeah.
	It could have been a welcome aboard.
	The music was going.
	It's like a party.
	You couldn't hear.
	But she wasn't able to communicate given the amount of alcohol she drank and how sick she felt, aka.
	She's learning how to become a legend, like you mentioned.
	Exactly.
	This is where legends are made.
	Exactly.
	Bethany passed out again.
	Kill her be killed, Bethany.
	Bethany passed out again, and Philip continued to kiss her and removed her shirt.
	By this is for kids.
	Yeah.
	Her shirt and pants.
	Dude, like, what is this?
	She passed out again.
	So she woke up, passed out.
	This guy just starts stripping her in his car.
	Okay, what is going on here?
	We got this is serious.
	Philip began to have vaginal sex.
	This is the key part of the story where I want to say that they go, he had vaginal sex with her.
	That's insane.
	And I mean, that is in comparison to what?
	To anal sex.
	They have to clarify to teens because apparently there's all types of sex that's out there.
	So they're leaning over.
	They're like, are you butt fucking her?
	Yeah.
	So it's like, imagine someone's like, like, you have friends.
	It's like, hey, I had sex with her.
	Oh, what are you going to do?
	Vagina.
	It's like, usually you start a little bit.
	You at least start.
	It just goes right to anal.
	You're like, dude, this is ridiculous.
	You went from zero to 60.
	He's trying to relive his own childhood from experience to living out.
	It's like, this is what childhood sex trauma does to a person.
	Yeah.
	Also, 99% of kids would stop this.
	They'd be like, no, no, no.
	Yes.
	No, no, wait.
	You're too much living in reality.
	Ready for this?
	Philip he had a vaginal sex with Bethany while most of his friends looked on, cheering and laughing.
	Woohoo!
	Yeah!
	You know, that's usually my response.
	The first time my friend showed me porn, I went, woohoo!
	I started laughing.
	I was like, this is hilarious.
	Right.
	It's Jody Foster on a pinball table.
	You're just like, yeah, pump it.
	Yeah.
	The first response of a teenager to watching people bone is laughing and cheering.
	Yeah, it's not confusion.
	It's also not like, I got lucky.
	Yeah.
	Or, like, this is amazing.
	And it's also not your friends going, hey, dude, get off Beth.
	Are you?
	What are you doing?
	Hey, man, there's a dead body there.
	Like, this is my mom's car.
	Yo, these, we're like, you're, the girl you're in sex with is like George Floyd.
	Yeah.
	You need to stop.
	They're not, they can't breathe.
	You need to get it.
	You get your penis off her neck.
	Yeah.
	There's no.
	That's the funny part of this, though.
	It's like, this is Phillips' friends told him to back off and what he was doing wasn't cool.
	Everyone else started laughing at Kyle, telling him he must be a homo.
	Hey, bro, don't have sex with a passed out chick.
	What are you doing?
	Gay?
	So gay.
	Did you stop raping?
	Yeah, because it's very because you know, gay people don't like sex.
	Yeah.
	You want me to stop having sex like all the gay people who aren't having any sex?
	Oh, they hate it, man.
	The gays, you know, those sexless gay clubs and the sexless West Hollywood.
	Yeah, there's nothing about the gay community that involves sex whatsoever.
	Bro, my friend hasn't had sex yet.
	He's probably gay.
	Totally gay, dude.
	Dude, the asexual gays, they're everywhere.
	I see them everywhere.
	That's why they have to pull their cocks out on front of children and stuff because they're trying to show them like this dick.
	Look at this.
	This is what a dick that won't have sex is.
	This is why anytime a cop arrests a rapist, that's why there's another cop going like, dude, what are you doing, you gay?
	So gay that you just put handcuffs on him?
	Bro, you're going to put a rapist in jail?
	So gay.
	Homo.
	Whatever.
	Pig.
	Oh, what a queer.
	Yeah, there was this, my friend was.
	This is amazing how stupid this is.
	I've seen, yeah, it's like, you know, like, somebody like, especially two, it's like if somebody's out there and like they want you to cuckold their wife or something like that and you don't and they're like, it's probably because you're me.
	Yeah, Will Smith is probably because you're gay.
	Yes, he's gay.
	Will Smith is gay.
	Yes.
	That actually might be true.
	No, I think he is.
	I think that's why Jada is, she's got some dirt on him.
	Well, let's talk about this.
	We will later.
	Go on.
	We will.
	No, but this is an interesting point to say, guys, that obviously not all times, you know, the real world, you just have a bottle of wine, you have a good time.
	Not everyone can have a good time with a bottle of wine, but most of you guys don't even drink wine because you don't know how to decide what wine to drink.
	It is true.
	These stories, everything out there is insane, but most people are normal and they just want a glass of wine with dinner, maybe a bottle or two with the wife and some friends and they're hanging out at night.
	And you're going, but where do I begin?
	Some wine's expensive, doesn't taste good, some wine's cheap, and it tastes all right.
	Why don't you trust the experts at First Leaf in order to tell you what kind of wine that you might enjoy that you might love for yourself and your family?
	Even if you don't like drinking, I told you this, be a good host, have someone pick out wine.
	I know people that are that don't drink, that just have wine available for dinner parties and guests.
	People do like to drink.
	See, exactly.
	And I don't even like wine that much myself.
	I like a few different bottles.
	My sister loves it.
	And so I always have a bottle for her from First Leaf.
	So right now, basically, it's a wine curating set where they basically allow you to choose which wines you like or that your guests like.
	They judge the palates and they start making suggestions for you so that you become a little bit of a smolier, a bit of an expert.
	You don't even have to have a drink in your life.
	You could be a wine expert and press your friends at a cocktail party.
	And or if you love wine, this is for you.
	It's America's number one awarded wine club.
	And of course, I love their Cabernets.
	I can't go wrong with the classic.
	It is absolutely amazing.
	Of course, drink responsibly.
	And right now, if you love finding and tasting new wine, First Leaf is a no-brainer.
	Join today and you'll get six bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping.
	Just try, go to try Firstleaf, T-R-Y-F-I-R-S-T-L-E-A-F.com slash offensive.
	O-F-F-E-N-S-I-V-E.
	That's tryfirstleaf.com slash offensive for six bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping.
	Go to tryfirstleaf.com slash offensive.
	Check it out today.
	Get the wine that matters most.
	So it is funny, though.
	I'm going to say this.
	A lot of those, you don't really have a lot of these stories start with wine or beer.
	It's usually bombing a fifth or like this girl.
	It's usually involved with either it's like popov.
	Is that how you're saying?
	Oh, pop of.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Pop of liquor, Mad Dog 2020.
	A 30-pack of anything.
	What's that called?
	If it comes in a 30 pack.
	Remember Juice?
	And then there was what was.
	There was malt liquor and then were you around for Saint-Ides when it was maybe.
	What was that one that we used to drink in high school?
	It wasn't called Juice, if it was similar.
	Poor Locos.
	Oh, I didn't have that.
	We had malt liquor.
	Are you from California?
	That's malt liquor.
	Oh, is it malt liquor?
	Okay, are you from?
	Yeah, I'm from L.A.
	Oh, okay.
	I'm from L.A.
	Yeah, see, I lived in L.A. in several times in my life, but we used to get 30 packs of Takate when I was like 19 when I lived there.
	We just used to under a drink and get molested.
	Oh, that's fun.
	Well, it's near Hollywood.
	What else do you do?
	Did you get a part in a movie?
	No, my friends all cheered on and laughed.
	Oh, and then when the guy was in the real life, when the guys stopped raping my friends, we're all like, dude, what are you gay?
	You remember that?
	Harvey Weinstein was raping your friend, and you were like, Yeah, Harvey.
	I remember the only reason the reason why Harvey Weinstein got done raping me was because he just didn't want to be thought of as gay.
	Oh, I know.
	Want me to be a rapist?
	What are you, homo?
	Yeah, I know.
	I'd rather be a rapist than gay.
	You don't want to watch me jerk off?
	Because at least you can work in, at least you can work in Hollywood as a rapist.
	Yeah, well, I mean, I think that's their hiring all the time.
	Nickelodeon.
	But you wouldn't want to be gay because, well, I mean, that's the word.
	That's the one you get.
	Friends make fun of you, Philip and Jackson.
	You don't want to be called gay when you're clearly raping someone.
	That's a way better thing to be called.
	Horrible.
	Meaning horrible sexually assault.
	This is how unbelievable the story is.
	This is the grooming of like, the point of this matter is like, it's so ridiculous.
	And by the way, they only focus on consent because they've taken all standards of sex out the window.
	Like, that's my point.
	Like, the point of this is, is, hey, everybody, we have an alcohol and food problem in this country.
	And like, and I'm not blaming anyone.
	I've been drunk many times in my life too.
	And so I'm not saying to anybody, hey, like, when I got drunk a lot as a teenager and did a lot of drugs, et cetera.
	And I get this stuff happens, but we should be working on a bigger issue, which is like, once the kids are drunk, we shouldn't be talking about consent.
	We should say, why are all of our kids drinking alcohol?
	And all the guys watched, she got raped and they did nothing.
	And when someone spoke up, they call him a homo.
	Like, are you effing serious?
	This is the dumbest thing ever.
	And so Jackson texted the pictures.
	It says here, just a summary.
	It's actually even better.
	Jackson texted the pictures he took to some friends and posted them to social media sites.
	Before the evening ended, nearly the whole team knew what had happened.
	Since so many students, we'll go back to this little PDF here.
	Since so many students, wait, so many students at the school saw the pictures and repositories and forwarded them.
	By this time, even school officials heard about the incident through social media.
	In fact, Coach Anderson, the baseball coach, even began to try to cover up some of the evidence that was going around.
	He really wanted to make sure that his team would still be in the playoffs.
	You know, when you try to cover up a rape at school because you got to win the big game?
	Oh, of course.
	Every high school coach does that.
	You're like, oh, shoot, there's a video of a girl getting raped in a car by guys laughing and cheering.
	Better cover this one.
	Yeah, I better go leave an online footprint of me getting rid of this.
	Better mass report it.
	As an adult, the best thing to do, man, screw my family and my career.
	If we lose Big Friday's game.
	Yeah, if there's anything about now, it's if you do the slightest thing, nobody's going to do anything.
	Jim from Ranchview Middle School across town is going to always say that I was never the best coach of the season and might lose my reward.
	So let me cover up a rape and child intoxication at my school.
	It'd be funny if he gets away with it, but still loses the playoff game.
	He's like, oh, man.
	He wasn't even good.
	The second set of balls that were fumbled in this strike.
	Striked out.
	He just didn't have the heart to play.
	So worried about getting arrested for that rape.
	If he reported the first bat, maybe this wooden stiffer would have actually knocked one home.
	Man, too bad he only home run he scored was in that car in front of his friends.
	I didn't let the other kid play, though.
	He's gay.
	Yeah, get that home out of here, the one that reported the rape.
	Yeah.
	You're not playing this game.
	You're off the team.
	The New York blue collar accent.
	Yeah, just that.
	A little Jewish accent.
	Yeah, a little bit of that.
	You're off the table.
	You're off the team.
	Yeah, I tried to cover it up.
	So what?
	Hey, why is my son not playing?
	He's gay.
	Yeah, he told the rapists to stop.
	I don't know what to tell you.
	You should have cheered.
	You should have cheated.
	He ain't on third no more.
	He ain't betting.
	He got home base.
	You have a baseball player.
	You should have cheated.
	You know, when a player plays when he strikes, you struck out, buddy, you struck out.
	Your son's a loser.
	Just amazing.
	Eventually, Jackson and Philip were brought to trial.
	Found delinquent, the juvenile equivalent of guilty, Philip for rape, and Jackson for discrimination of CP.
	Both are serving time in juvenile detention centers.
	Bethany doesn't feel safe going to school, cries a lot, has difficulty sleeping, and has ostracized many of her friends.
	She cried a lot before, not to interrupt.
	She did.
	Well, it was because she was ugly.
	Yeah.
	But I'm just going to say this.
	It's like, the point is, she cries a lot.
	Girl was raped and had her raped, blasted on the internet.
	I think you would be a little more worried than crying.
	I like how that's how they describe her.
	She cries a lot.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, if you got raped, but at least hopefully, again, I do hope they won the game.
	Depressed is a good way to describe that, but you went with cries a lot, like it nags you.
	Suicidal, perhaps like in despair because you've been raped and there is now as an adult CP forever on the internet of a child rape.
	Right.
	This is a little more serious than, you know what, get her some tissue.
	Yeah.
	Like, hey, you know what?
	She's, my daughter's a little bit, she's a little emotional.
	Yeah, sorry.
	Do you have any puffs plus or tears?
	My daughter's going through an emotional phase.
	What happened?
	Well, you know, some guys gang raped her and they disseminated and the coach covered it up and they're in prison and stuff and she's a little bit upset.
	Yeah, she's just, I don't know.
	She has to go to school.
	I'm like, bunny, just go get an education.
	She can't live it down.
	I'm like, honey, if I had a nickel for every time a baseball team raped me in a charity, what is that?
	You'd be in a private school.
	Who?
	What friends are ostracizing this girl from being raped?
	I mean, this is obviously propaganda.
	The baseball kids fill up and jack white names, rape a girl, Bethany while everyone watches, laughs, records, and then distributes the videos of the minor.
	Side note, in this lesson plan, they didn't mention how underage drinking played a part in the outcome.
	It's a ridiculous story.
	It's a made-up story.
	This is going to shape these students' idea of the world.
	This is what they're teaching students today.
	This is the grooming of like, by the way, they're saying this is the commonplace, the extreme, non-realistic is it?
	And an idea of a world that is dark, scary, and mean.
	They promote rape culture.
	This is what they're telling kids by lying to students to make them think that this is believable.
	And it's not.
	Not to mention how these students shouldn't even be exposed to these made-up stories that are absolutely transcribing their mind into things that they could never have thought of on their own.
	It's absolutely insane.
	And this is crazy.
	Like, I remember when I went to college, I started out my university at UC Irvine, University of California, Irvine.
	And we went to this meeting.
	And then I remember the first day they were like, everybody reach under your seat.
	And I'm like, okay.
	And I was like in public school.
	I remember the second day on the school that I got expelled from that I went to, I got stabbed in the back of the head.
	So I'm coming from real Southern California schools.
	And I'm going like, I'm living in the real world.
	You're white.
	You don't want to get jumped.
	A lot of black people didn't like me there, probably because I dressed up as a ghost of Christmas past who liked to party in high school, which was a gossamer ghost with a party hat underneath.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Like I mentioned, are the undead unable to have a good time?
	You said party in hell.
	Can they not party on earth too?
	Earth is hell.
	There were no slits.
	There were no eyes.
	I agree.
	No.
	It was a ghost.
	I was planning on running for governor one day, so I was pre-planning.
	I get it.
	So I dressed up as a ghost.
	People didn't, black people didn't like me that much.
	But I will say, it's like you go here and you look at this and going, okay, like this is all that's going on.
	I totally understand this.
	But they go, look under your seat, reach something up.
	And everyone pulls out like a paddle.
	I don't have one.
	Probably like a third of the room.
	They're like, by the end of your education, one-third of the people in this room are going to be raped.
	I was like, sign me up.
	What?
	Like, sex and I don't, bad decisions I don't remember.
	But I also was like, I was like, huh?
	And I remember starting, that's when I really woke up, started researching like what rape meant.
	And I looked at the school's definition and it was like any unwanted encounter or like, basically they went from rape to sexual harassment to uncomfortability to like if I hit on you and was just like, hey, if that was a prison, it wouldn't even be accurate.
	Yeah.
	But I'm more like this.
	This is University of California Irvine.
	It's also called University of Chinese Immigrants.
	There are not enough attractive people here.
	Like, Asian people aren't even, I don't even know if they have sex beyond just to make offspring so that they can be doctor.
	Like, I don't even know if it's possible.
	Well, they have to hurt them and teach them violin.
	Sorry.
	Tiger mom joke.
	Sorry.
	Maybe that's Japanese.
	That's just a joke.
	If anybody is like me, I grew up in Roland Heights.
	If no one knows exactly what that is, I got to say you don't know.
	But Michael Knowles, Michael Knowles.
	It's insane, though.
	I know Michael Knowles popped up on this and he was like, you know, we're having these conversations with kids.
	This isn't a very extreme, sexually graphic conversation.
	Yes.
	And it's very, it's, it's, it's at this point, it's comedy.
	I had to invite a comedian on to read it.
	Yes.
	Because it sounds like it sounds like a stand-up act.
	Well, it's insane because, yeah, it's nothing that I know a lot of people that had got, I mean, people had definitely got in trouble for sexual issues when I was in school and stuff like that, but it was never anything like that.
	Like if anybody was raping somebody, it would have been stopped, especially in front of you.
	It would just have been weird.
	And like, I mean, we didn't have camera phones, but at the same time, nobody would have allowed it to get to that point.
	It was serious.
	I mean, I've mentioned this on the show.
	There wasn't a rape allegation against me by us, like a schizophrenic girl in high school.
	Yeah.
	And the police got involved.
	Like, and turns out, I know, shocker.
	Yeah.
	I didn't rape the girl.
	I wasn't even at her house.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, so the point was, is like, she made this up and she did it to several other people.
	Yeah.
	When I was in high school, if you literally even had an allegation of rape, the police got involved.
	Yeah, I just can't imagine any one of my friends allowing someone to do that because even if the girls we hung out with, we were also friends with them.
	That's your first mistake.
	Yeah, well, we were you hook up and then you don't.
	And then, I don't know, it was different, I guess.
	Friends.
	Yes.
	Well, you were friends and baby.
	All the guys, we get naked.
	Just take it off your shirt.
	We all do shirts and shirts and skins.
	We'll play basketball in the driveway.
	In the back of my car while you're drunk.
	I've been here.
	I got a bat and a couple balls.
	Yeah, it's pretty cool.
	Good game.
	Good game.
	Just smacking their ass.
	Good game, everybody.
	It's just so dumb.
	I remember the first time I saw sex, too.
	I was very young.
	I was, I went to my, that sounds bad.
	Where are we going?
	I was in.
	I was an altar boy.
	No, I was.
	You're like, I remember my first mass.
	Yeah, my teacher.
	Mass and girth.
	Teacher rolled a condom onto a banana with his mouth.
	No, we were.
	Literally, we were laughing, but that is fourth grade today.
	I was like, oh, yeah.
	Is this how you do it?
	And then you should start saying this.
	Get the money up front.
	This show is, I'm going to say, this should be a nice tagline for the show.
	This show is for mature audiences 18 years old and older and fourth grade and younger.
	Yes, exactly.
	The new generation.
	I would say that fourth graders and younger are more sexually mature or have been exposed to more than I probably have too.
	I read their plans.
	I learn about sexual stuff by reading fourth graders' lessons plans.
	Yeah, as well.
	I can't believe that they're seeing that.
	That's such a tagline.
	This show is for fourth grade and under.
	Yeah, there's like a sex.
	There's like a camp I was reading about recently where you actually go to a camp where they teach you about all kinds of sex and it's for kids.
	I'm like, so it's the only camp where the counselors get in trouble where you don't get molested.
	It's so crazy that this actually happens.
	And like when I was a kid, I remember the first time I saw it, it was jarring because my friend's older brother, Scott, was a teenager and I was like in elementary school and they called us upstairs and I thought it was two women sharing an ice cream cone.
	But I couldn't figure out why the ice cream cone wouldn't melt.
	I was like, this is weird.
	Like, what kind of ice cream is that?
	And then I realized they were both sharing a penis and I was like, oh.
	And then I had, I couldn't understand why two women were shirtless licking a man's penis.
	I was little.
	I was a little.
	Where was this again?
	This is my friend's house.
	This is his sister's?
	No, his brother was watching porn with his friends, and he was much older than us.
	So they called us upstairs to show us porn.
	Just to mess with our heads.
	So I remember I went home and I like, dad, I saw this and he was like, I don't know.
	I've never heard of that.
	And ask your mom when she gets home.
	I don't know.
	But yeah, I remember seeing it.
	It was jarring as hell when I was a little kid.
	Like, I can't imagine wanting to teach a kid about that.
	Because I knew at a young age, then I knew what a blowjob was, and I was like six or seven when it happened, which I then told everybody what it was.
	And then I, I mean, we were buying easy E-tapes, though, when we were in second grade.
	So, I mean, it's not.
	You were just a couple decades ahead on your ready for.
	I didn't want to watch it.
	You're ahead of your time.
	I was duped.
	Back in my day, seven-year-olds having sex was something alarming.
	Today, that's just called elementary school.
	Yeah, this was his degenerate drug addict's brother, though.
	He wasn't my teacher.
	Right.
	Well, that me too.
	Look, I was, I mean, that's, I used to call that living in LA.
	And you used to be able to move out of these cities and avoid that kind of stuff.
	But that was part of what it was.
	And now we make light of like all the sexual trauma and stuff because like there's no other way to make fun of how effed up childhood was until you get older and you go, um, wow, well, I don't want that for my children.
	I hope I hope they don't end up as a podcaster or a comedian.
	This is terrible.
	Talking about how painful your life was.
	Laughing, crying in laughter.
	My friend's dad had laughter.
	My friend's dad had Playboys.
	I remember that.
	And we would find those when we were like five.
	He died of a heroin overdose.
	But yeah, we found those in his basement.
	And I remember like the first time, like when you're five, six years old, and you're like, what?
	And you like see a vagina and you're like, my gracious, I don't get it.
	And then like later, you like it.
	But yeah, we started.
	We were like exposed to it a young age on accident.
	So I don't know why anybody would purposely.
	Well, it's also weird.
	It shoots anybody.
	The Playboy is different though, too, because I have to say, because I'm children.
	I know some Playboy models even now, and they're very wonderful people and they're very attractive.
	Porn today is like what they're talking about is all these gross, weird, extreme things.
	Like if you, if you're Playboy's fine, well, I mean, if you're going to see and learn what a vagina is.
	Playboy is the way to go.
	Well, I just mean like, and it's not like because you're married and you're seeing your spouse for the first time.
	Like at least be like, oh, that is a perfectly intact, you know, this is a flower that is, the petals are not visible and we are dealing with something that is like, oh, that's just different than me.
	And that is something different.
	I'm not promoting pornography.
	I'm that's different today.
	No, but it was.
	They're grooming.
	Michael Knoll said this.
	He says, this is what I'm saying.
	That's like, oh, you accidentally stumbled on it on a dash on a dad's thing.
	You can make the argument about porn there if you're more conservative or Christian or whatever it is.
	But a kid seeing a nice naked woman might actually give like, oh, wow, I don't know women look like that.
	You're attracted to it.
	Yeah, it's going, wow, that's a very, that's what women look like.
	Now women have penises and we don't know what they look like.
	And Michael Knoll said, if you have sexual conversations with kids and you hide those conversations from their parents, you are a groomer.
	This isn't complicated.
	For instance, if you are talking in a room and somebody overhears you and you stop talking.
	And you stop talking, you're not a groomer.
	Just like if you had a Playboy and a kid found it, you're not a groomer.
	But if you go show kids your playboys, you're a groomer.
	That's the problem.
	That's the problem.
	No, you're right.
	That's very, very true.
	Like, there's a normal way to stumble on things when you're young.
	There was.
	And that's what people don't understand is that there is this level.
	And I, and I do have this other, this tweet from LifeSight News that's pretty interesting here that I'm going to bring up in a second.
	But they also talk about this idea of this grooming, this issue of what's going on.
	I think I have the worst internet ever.
	So let me just try this one more time.
	You're fine.
	Yeah.
	It's like, hey, and repeat.
	I don't know.
	We're trying.
	We're trying.
	All right.
	We're going to skip that one.
	Because you're looking up child grooming.
	It's like, sorry, we cannot allow you groom and CP in one tweet.
	No, LifeSight News said, if you don't want to be called a groomer, stop pushing your sexual agenda on children.
	It's pretty simple, guys.
	It's pretty simple.
	You don't want to be a groomer?
	Don't push it on children.
	And that's what's so weird about like this document.
	I am not a conservative myself, but I totally agree with conservative values and I hold a lot of conservative.
	I'm a moderate conservative myself.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And I would say that too.
	I would say that I really respect idealism and I also really appreciate what I call a intact conservative.
	So like, and I know some of these people who like literally never had sex with anyone but their spouse and they have this like sanctity of sexual respect between them and their spouse.
	Yeah.
	People who have never looked at porn.
	I know my mentor, Yako, never drank in his life, never had sex with anyone but his wife.
	And I go, that's an intact.
	That's awful.
	No, I really respect the fact of like those people amazing.
	Right.
	No, me too.
	So I'm going, what a blessing from God.
	But you have just, how do you have self-control at all?
	Well, it's divine.
	Yeah.
	And then I would say this, but I go, I go, I really love that.
	And I want to learn from you because, you know, I didn't choose that path.
	I didn't do that.
	But I also don't want to go with the copium left-wing idea of like, well, bad things happened to me as a kid and I did this and that.
	So then, you know, I'm just going to be screwed up for the rest of my life.
	Right.
	I am a little screwed up.
	And I do believe sometimes there's baggage, but I believe in redemption.
	I believe in reconciliation.
	I believe in recovery.
	I believe in a lot of things that can go on in life.
	So I would say this.
	It's like, dude, I don't get what the grooming thing of like, I get it if you're not an intact conservative like myself or yourself, where you've had crazy experiences that have maybe messed you up a little bit, caused you to get into this industry.
	But why would I want to teach that to the next generation?
	But you want to never have a comedian again.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's what they want to get rid of.
	I mean, the idea of having redemption is no longer, it's no longer around.
	I mean, even Louis C.K. winning a Grammy or whatever, people get pissed off about that.
	They don't want a redemption story.
	They don't want somebody to come back.
	They don't want somebody to, you know, make good on living a part of their bad life or having a bad childhood.
	There's nothing wrong with being screwed up as an adult.
	It gives you empathy and it gives you perspective.
	No, it's absolutely true.
	And IFS studies said, this is the problem with exposing kids to sexual and violent content.
	So the thing is, is there really a problem with our children seeing sex and violence?
	Does it really affect them?
	This is what it is.
	Oh, it has to.
	So, so what it says, you know, does it really affect them?
	As one example, a 2009 study, let me find if I can get down to this.
	There you go.
	So people can read along with us.
	Does it really affect them?
	As one great example, a 2009 study demonstrated that exposure to gratuitous violence in either a game or a movie led to a reduced willingness to help someone who was in pain, according to American Academy of Pediatrics.
	Prolonged exposure to violence increases agreement with the idea that violence is an acceptable way of solving problems.
	It also promotes acceptance in children of the mean world syndrome, a belief that the world is a dark and sinister place.
	We may not become violent or sexual, but our behavior and our response are impacted by what we have seen and empathy is reduced.
	Objectification is increased.
	Morality erodes.
	So it's saying like legitimately here, there is this genuine understanding that as you go through life, yes, there is a problem with seeing all of these things because it does make you callous.
	It does make you lose morality.
	You no longer are shocked.
	And you know this because when I watch propaganda, I'm sure you're aware of the greatest theatrical experience that is leading to real world deaths, the Ukraine-Russian conflict.
	It's like it's like watching Beavis and Butthead.
	It's like the two retards battling it out on the front lines and the whole world has decided that both one of one side is good.
	And you're like, well, one's a butthead and one's Beavis.
	Let's just be honest here.
	So you're looking at this real world issue.
	And it's like the commissioner of the European Union, they're like, here's a video of the commissioner of the European Union seeing body bags in Buka or whatever it's called, and gasping.
	And it shows the video.
	And it's a blonde chick, butch haircut always.
	Non-lesbian butch haircuts.
	Butch haircuts should only be for the lesbians.
	Let's just, women need to retire those.
	That's why I got rid of the mohawk.
	Yeah.
	You've probably never seen images of me just from a few years ago.
	Did you have a mohawk?
	Worse.
	What'd you have?
	Two-toned hair and nose ring and spacers in my ears and shit.
	You and I could have gone to a march.
	Yeah.
	That's how I started my career because I did go to the marches and everyone thought I was, he's one of us.
	He's one of us.
	Hey, bro, what's my plug in your youth?
	You're at a good age, though.
	I was like 33.
	Yeah, I was, like, 24, so I was, like...
	Eh, same, I guess.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and that was the best age.
	And then my wife's like, my wife's like, what are you gay?
	And I'm like, no, I'll rape people.
	She's like, no.
	No, I'd rape someone.
	What are you talking about?
	I've never raped a person in my life.
	No, that's why she thought I was gay because I didn't rape anyone.
	Exactly.
	Oh, right.
	So you were sexless.
	Yeah.
	They hate sex.
	I forgot about that.
	I know.
	I know.
	I was going to say it out here.
	No, definitely.
	Trust me.
	I mean, I've raped someone before, but you know, at certain ages, I would have cheered on.
	I would have cheered on.
	I would have.
	Yeah, it's like, oh, we don't want to be called a homo in high school.
	But like, but I. That's why I went to rapes all the time in high school, backyard rapes.
	Yeah, what are they teaching?
	Hey, kids, you don't want to be thought of as gay?
	Rape somebody.
	What kind of information is that?
	It's horrible.
	Nobody.
	Hey, scared your kids like, hey, dad, I'm really, I just a little bit high-voiced and I'm a little bit camp.
	And like, I just not maturing as the guy.
	Like, hey, man, let me tell you about absolute vodka and rape.
	Yeah, here.
	Here's a couple tickets to the next rape.
	You need to go call somebody a homo who's not doing big apart.
	It's so stupid.
	This whole time I've been trying to figure out what a man was, and all it took was committing a Class A felony.
	That's it.
	Like, just literally.
	You're one felony away from being a real man.
	Yeah, right.
	Like, you ever raped anybody?
	Son.
	Come on.
	It's our passage into humanity.
	It's because they're screaming no to.
	Africans kill lions and we just rape drunk girls.
	Yeah.
	So stupid.
	I can't believe that's what they're teaching kids.
	It's dude.
	It is to the, it is so past the insanity.
	Like there's no even way to explain it at all.
	Like there's no vision.
	There's no way to try to justify this.
	But guys, I got to tell you about something really important that you're going to want to hear.
	So speaking of actually what you would do if you see rapists, you probably would want to A, attack them and stop them, or B, if they attacked you back, you need to defend yourself.
	But a lot of you guys aren't good with target practice.
	You wouldn't laugh and you wouldn't cheer on.
	You would actually probably want to use a weapon and you would want to defend people who are in positions to where their lives might be in danger.
	But ammo is expensive and going to the range is costly and time consuming, which is why I got to talk to you about iTarget Pro, the revolutionary system that allows you to drive fire practice with your actual firearm.
	So anytime this can happen in the safety of the privacy of your own home, no more inconvenient trips to the range and you will save a ton on ammo.
	So basically what you do is you just download iTarget's proprietary app.
	You load the laser bullet into your firearm and these are like real bullets, but it look like it and start your training experience.
	Dry fire training will help develop muscle memory, sharpen target reaction speed, slide alignment, trigger function, and more.
	And iTarget Pro comes in all major calibers, including 223, so you can stay sharp with almost any firearm.
	Go to iTargetPro.com.
	That's I-T-A-R-G-E-T-P-R-O.com right now and save 10% plus get free shipping with offer code offensive, O-F-F-E-N-S-I-V-E.
	This is the smartest way for you to practice, and it pays for itself in one day, literally.
	That's the letter itargetpro.com, I-T-A-R-G-E-T-P-R-O.com.
	Offer code offensive.
	And letting you know, too, that in the midst of all this, what's his name?
	It does have a disclaimer.
	It says that not available to Alec Baldwin.
	Yeah, there's no way.
	Can't because there's no can't trust a guy to dry fire.
	He's just such an angry guy.
	Yeah.
	No dry firing.
	Also on the site, you should always point your gun at someone.
	That's a good rule of thumb.
	Yeah.
	Just so you know.
	Just so you know.
	Alec Baldwin did not allow to apply.
	No.
	I do want to bring this up too.
	Like it is sexualizing kids in such a weird way.
	This came out.
	I did want to let people know that I'm going to go to the article here.
	Disney did bring in its first male princess.
	So this is from Caldranpool.com.
	I really suggest if you guys are in Australia, New Zealand, this is an Australian-based right-wing website.
	They've emerged.
	They have great podcasts.
	It's essentially like our bright, like not bright bright.
	Sleep awake hand.
	You know, I would actually say Cauldron Pool is probably similar to a, like, what's a right-wing equivalent of people who do blogs and podcasts.
	It's not like newsy, but it's like culture.
	There's a, is it comedy, though?
	Both.
	I mean, they, I mean, what is the one?
	What's it comedy?
	They've had me on there.
	The B.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	This is maybe, maybe it's even more like the Babylon B, but Neverland B.
	And not the B combined.
	So they're just really, and it's the Christian conservative.
	I should get you on their podcast because this is like extensively their audience is Australia, New Zealand.
	So you should get on there because sometimes people are like, oh, it only got 10,000 downloads.
	Bro, they have less people in the entire two countries than living California.
	Really?
	Yeah, I mean, no, no, I'm saying getting 10,000 Australian listeners is like the equivalent of getting like 1 million in the U.S. I'm not joking.
	Oh, no, in terms of distribution because like nobody lives there.
	Right.
	And you've seen the spiders.
	I wouldn't live there.
	Yeah, me.
	They have more kangaroos than people.
	That's a true story.
	Yeah.
	And those kangaroos box.
	They literally do, and they're scary.
	Yes.
	I know it was a pet kangaroo.
	Very, very cute thing.
	But I do want to point out the fact that, yes, this is the idea that they are saying that they have a male princess.
	This is absolutely insane.
	And so obviously this is so crazy.
	We're moving in a direction where we have male princesses.
	This is a kid, if that's the picture.
	Yes.
	I think, too, that, you know, you obviously talk about the experience after the homos got to you.
	They're getting to our kids, but they've actually got to you.
	And you have this bit, I think, from a stand-up that is actually video three.
	And I want to go ahead and I want to, did we miss video two, Josiah?
	We might have.
	Let's go ahead and play.
	Let's go ahead and play video three.
	So the whole time I could feel his cock and balls slamming against my thighs.
	Okay.
	So.
	True story.
	So I wasn't prepared for that.
	I didn't put that in here.
	Okay.
	So you've had a little bit of education.
	How was that for you?
	That was actually, yeah, when I was in a mental hospital and the werewolf did attack me, the werewolf ma'am.
	Oh, so that was.
	Boy, it was the same age as me.
	We were 17.
	I don't even think they have mental hospitals now for children.
	No, it's called TikTok.
	Yes, that's what it is.
	They just send your kids.
	You just get stuck in an algorithm.
	Your skid just sits there and then they put booty juice, like you said, into the back.
	Yeah, whatever your kid.
	Yeah, that's what was always amazing is the booty juice that goes on.
	Did you ever get that booty juice?
	got the booty juice he got the booty juice which like bethany got the booty juice It was vaginal juice.
	Oh, no, Bethany.
	I don't know which side she got it from.
	I don't know.
	She got it on her back and on her side.
	Oh, this is a time to reiterate, guys.
	It's not a children's show, unless you literally are under nine.
	Yeah, then you've heard all of it.
	You've heard this all.
	This is probably the most...
	This is kosher.
	I'm...
	I'm going to laugh if a parent's like, ooh, kid, go away.
	And the kid's like, you thought this is inappropriate?
	Have you seen my homework?
	I have to just color the dick.
	So it's.
	Draw the dick on Michelle Obama is the new children's.
	We went from trying to try to tell kids that Michelle Obama wasn't a man to now just been like, draw the dick on Big Mike.
	Draw a dick and tits on the swimmer.
	If there's a male swimmer with a seven-inch cock, how much do you think the drag would be with the dick and balls to slow them down to beat the second fastest female swimmer?
	It's like, this is physics?
	If there's a dwarf swimmer, but also has a penis.
	Oh, four inches.
	I think too.
	You know, we have this also video too.
	This amaze, these children porn for kids, the grooming is actually also important too, because the people from Amaze, which is for children, actually have another video where they explain gender for children.
	And so let's just look at exactly what children, like I said, this show's not for children unless you literally are a child.
	The show's not for teens.
	No, it is.
	For kids and adults, which are basically the same thing.
	Suffrage and Z's.
	There are a lot of humorless.
	It's for Gen A, which is gen abused.
	Yes.
	So go ahead and play video four.
	Flap.
	No, Uncle Jay.
	This is Alex.
	Oh, okay.
	I remember.
	A very nice, young.
	Hmm.
	Come to think of it.
	Well, is Alex a boy or a girl?
	Actually, Alex doesn't define themselves as boy or girl.
	What else is there?
	Back in your day, most people understood the world in terms of just boys and girls.
	But now, we know gender is more complex than that.
	Wait, aren't we just talking about whether you're born with a hmm or a?
	When you're born, your sex is assigned in a medical way, but the sex listed on your birth certificate may not necessarily match your gender identity.
	Gender identity is a person's inner experience of who they are in terms of gender.
	Their deep personal sense of being male, female, a blend of both, or neither.
	And while many people have a gender identity that's the same as their assigned birth sex of female or male, that's not always the case because gender.
	So this seems like a conversation a black family would have.
	Yeah, and I like too that you think they're censoring out the uh, the genitalia.
	But that's just what black people call genitals, uh or uh.
	You either born, are you fuck my mm, or that you're either born with a mm-hmm or mm-mm, and then if I really like you got a mm-hmm, like grandpa wouldn't just be like yeah uh, shut the up.
	You got a penis or pussy, unless you gay and you don't want sex.
	Son you gay?
	No you, I.
	I raped someone down no gay, all right.
	Well you, you girls been raped, all right.
	This table's normal.
	So you ain't with no homos.
	So yeah, I don't know.
	Is he a boy or girl?
	I asked a question I didn't need your explanation on stupid shit.
	What happened?
	You know I miss, I miss old black people.
	You know when you miss, you're the best you meet old black people.
	They have no time for business.
	I grew up in zero time.
	I grew up in Detroit.
	I'm saying from experience, this conversation has never happened at a black dinner table?
	No, and if it has, it hasn't lasted longer than get out of my house.
	It's just the truth.
	That's why the trans stuff is mostly in swimming.
	It's like where the white people are.
	Of course, you're not gonna be like and you're not gonna, you're not literally and and they also go.
	But what about track and field?
	Yeah, but that's women.
	Then black people don't care about the children.
	You go start going to like male Olympic, male Olympic running that long distance and or like the 1600 bro.
	You think.
	You think you think Tiki Tawari or whatever his name is, that's the guy who runs the UH Crypto thing, but you think I only know like one black name I don't even think he's black but like you think Tikitika or whatever you say, Bolt is gonna allow, you know see Leah, Leah Thomas Ii to to take him on.
	No no, once Juwana man tries, Tries to become an actual documentary.
	They're just going to, first of all, what are you going to do?
	School black women at basketball?
	Have you seen?
	I know black female coaches.
	They don't mess with me.
	It's already been dominated by men.
	A lot of them are objectively bigger than men.
	Yeah, well, they are.
	They're amazing.
	They're amazing athletes that were, they don't even identify as men.
	The size of black men with the skills of white ones.
	Yes, exactly.
	It's really, really mad.
	It's bad.
	It's bad.
	There are the Larry Birds and Bill Lambiers.
	There are.
	There are.
	Sent to one league.
	You know, and with all that grooming being said in place, a huge shout out to my guest today, Dave Lando.
	Where do people find you?
	Where can they follow you?
	And a reminder of where your live shows are coming up.
	Go to DaveLandau.com.
	I'll be in Green Bay, Virginia Beach, Lincoln, Nebraska.
	Bunch of stuff coming up.
	DaveLandau.com and Lauder with Crowder Monday through Thursday.
	Yes.
	And you can follow, of course, Slightly Offensive everywhere where you can find us, including alternative media.
	Remember, if you want to become a slightly offensive backer, there are two ways to do it.
	Number one, join t.me/slash slightly offensive on Telegram where you can have all your degenerate conversations and uplifting ones too.
	We still have a halt on the meme sharing, which is really tragedy because of the proliferation of scat porn that's came into our midst.
	And while we all love, you know, we all love making sure that you're not gay, which we know the second way to prove you're not gay is by putting scat porn into a chat.
	Of course.
	We'd like to all also be a little Christian or a little bit maybe semi-conservative and realize that there's nothing based or trad about, you know, people pooping in each other's mouths.
	Unless, of course, you're in junior high and you don't want people to think you're gay.
	So there's that.
	But when you're an adult, you don't need to prove anything to anyone.
	You're confident in your sexuality.
	You can have a good time out there.
	Yeah, there's scat in the hat for kids.
	Good book.
	Join t.me slash slightly offensive.
	It's free.
	Also sign up at blazetv.com slash Elijah to help us fight censorship.
	It's absolutely amazing.
	A lot of you guys say you have memberships to all the other people.
	Guys, we are in a broom closet.
	They don't need your money.
	We do.
	Dave Lando can't say that, but they have plenty of me.
	They have Dave Landau's and people.
	I'm not talking shit, but they got real people.
	I have gay Tupac and Josiah, which is great.
	I mean, I love them.
	But they put clips about Dave Landau.
	Talking about cocks and balls in my scripts.
	Help us out a little bit.
	Get us some writers.
	We need your help.
	But also remember, too, if you leave a five-star review, it is free.
	It doesn't cost you anything from Google Play, iHeartRadio, iTunes, Spotify, everywhere where you can leave them.
	It helps us out so much as we're completely demonetized everywhere.
	Who knows why?
	Who would ever expect from this episode why we would be demonetized?
	I couldn't either.
	Make sure that you go ahead and leave the review.
	You might get it read on the show.
	We have two reviews.
	One from Janwoo55 says, Elijah, thank you for all that you do.
	And because it's not much, I take that with a grain of salt.
	So thank you so much.
	No way 2024 says, favorite by far, best show I listened to by far.
	There's some sick, crazy shit going on in this world, but at least we can have a good time listening to Elijah.
	Stay woke with the Diversity Coalition.
	Thanks for representing us all.
	Oh, and for curing my COVIDs.
	Don't know where I'd be without you.
	Thank you.
	And then the Diversity Coalition, if we can get a wide shot, I don't know if we have that.
	I just want to, we don't have a wide shot, but we will have the next time that to let you know that we do have our newest member, which was Allegra Groomer, which is the pink-haired girl.
	Oh, yeah, there it is.
	So she's Allegra Groomer.
	That's our diversity coalition.
	People said our show was too white.
	So we've, we have homey extra chromi, we have the clown pill, we have all of that stuff coming up.
	And we have new members.
	We will have a new member that should be here by the next week.
	So it's a little bit delayed.
	There's a supply chain shortage of retards.
	So we brought Dave in instead.
	Anyway, thank you so much, Dave.
	Don't forget to support him on all social media.
	Watch him on Ladder with Crowder five days a week.
	Four.
	Four days a week, Monday through Thursday.
	And you can check out this show every Wednesday, Friday at 2 p.m. Central.
	And you are here Monday through Friday live at 6 p.m. Central.
	I will be in Nashville at the time of this release.
	Check out all my appearances.
	If my plane doesn't get canceled, hopefully.
	Have a great rest of the week.
	And may God bless the United States of America.

▲