P*rn Star & Pastor Debate the S*x Industry | Guests: Eva Lovia & Jaco Booyens | Ep 223
Former p*rn star Eva Lovia joins "Slightly Offens*ve" to discuss the s*x industry with pastor Jaco Booyens. From the trafficking to the manipulation of young women unknowingly altering their lives forever, we tackle a variety of off-limits topics in this thought-provoking discussion. ________________________________________________________________
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The Idea Of A Free Society...For Kids!
Head to https://teachrealprinciples.com for a unique book series that introduces the important ideas that schools no longer teach. Show less
second year on estrogen unfortunately i don't have an excuse to be on estrogen My voice is just kind of like this.
And this is just who I am.
Obviously, I'm not the biggest expert on men and women's issues, but I do realize that today it's kind of confusing, especially if you're growing up to know what defines a man, what defines a woman.
Is a woman just someone who plays a cosplay, you put on a costume, like the it's ma'am guy, and suddenly you're a woman.
In fact, on Dr. Phil, when Matt Walsh was on there, no one could even define what a woman is.
So we're going to talk a lot about these gender issues and the most insane things that are going on in our culture, including some updates on the hub, boys.
And no, I'm not talking about logging on.
I'm talking about real porn hub.
What's going on with porn in our culture?
And what are people looking at?
To talk about all this insanity in the world, I'd like to welcome to the show Eva Lovia, the host of Chatting with Candace podcast.
I am your top 17 host, joined by the lovely Savannah Hernandez, who's back there, resident reporter and producer, host of the Rapid Fire podcast.
Before we jump into today's show, I just want to take a moment and thank Patriot Mobile for their support for this show.
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Anyway, check it out.
It's awesome.
Anyway, Eva, so I'm excited to have both of you guys on and Yako because the world is kind of a crazy place.
And I just want to get this out here for people that didn't see this airs on Wednesday, so they didn't see you on You Are Here.
Former adult star, what does that mean?
unidentified
It means I was in the mainstream porn business for, I don't know, like just shy of like seven years, and then I left for self-producing.
And it's kind of slowly been transforming into, well, what do I want to do after this?
Because this isn't my forever plan.
And it's not, I found that I was lacking a sense of fulfillment, as I'm sure it sounds shocking.
But then I started navigating podcasting, starting that, having more serious conversations around everything, sex, culture, relationships, and then trying to grow that part of me.
I mean, you say that you're former or like, is that retired?
I don't know how you'd say it.
unidentified
I guess you could say that.
At the same time, it's like a forever thing because no matter, I feel like no matter what I do, it's like this permanent decision that I've made.
And there's not a lot of room for grace when you make those decisions.
And I've never asked anyone to agree down the line or say that you have to accept my choices or that kind of lifestyle, but you're not allowed to transform.
You're not allowed to evolve out of that space.
So you can say you're retired, but the rest of society would probably disagree.
And so, but that is interesting you say that because obviously, Yako, for people that are not familiar, you know, I know that you, you work and you fight sex trafficking.
You have, you know, not only just strong opinions on all of this stuff, but also you are a man of grace.
You're a man of redemption.
You believe in the law to pursue.
And so it's like, do you, do you see that too in that world?
Like with you saying you're retired, do you find that to be the same thing when there's like a sexual history or sexual past or anything publicly that people have a hard time living that down?
Yeah, look, just immediately, it's amazing to meet you, but I'll speak right into your life, just off the go.
It's just going to go right off the bat.
Let's go.
There's a reason we call a sex trafficking victim when rescued a survivor.
Because by calling them a victim, you'll victimize them first.
That stigma sticks because it does stick.
But you can lift someone out of any situation in life, any decision, and redeem that situation.
That is who the Christ is that I serve.
So you can redeem it and shouldn't.
And it's so counter to their own narrative on the left, particularly, right?
To say, okay, well, now you're a porn star for the rest of your life.
They're the ones labeling and branding, but supposedly so accepting of culture and helping people heal.
But when it comes to these things, anything related to sex, they will brand literally, and there's physical branding and sex trafficking and stripping, but they will brand that individual as someone who made a sexual decision, right?
And they carry that for life.
And now we're not even talking about the predator.
We're talking about the stripper, those in either a tube site or porn hub or self-producing or a sex trafficking victim.
So I agree with you.
People do brand.
And it's absolutely insane.
It's ridiculous because you're making a set of decisions.
You're a mother now.
Life changes.
You have new perspectives.
Things happen.
And so for people watching out there, it's a reframe in our culture.
And a lot of it is they project.
They want to blame somebody because people in our culture today love stepping on people to elevate themselves.
And it's one, it's ungodly and it's not productive for a culture.
So, so you should not just outgrow it, but new decisions you make, you leave that in a rear view because that's redemption and healing.
Otherwise, you know, we just brand somebody and then they're that for life.
And that's a very dangerous path to go on.
unidentified
Oh, absolutely.
Because then that person's left with no choices.
So you have a society that's saying, well, don't do this.
And then maybe they change their mind for whatever reason and they try to do something else, but then you don't allow them to make a different decision.
So if you try to become a nurse or a police officer or whatever it is, you often get fired because they can pull up on Google, you know, your past work.
And it's like, well, what do I do?
Because I don't have the power to take that down.
That's up forever.
So maybe a decision that you made because you were in a survival state because you had to pay rent.
Maybe you were super young and you didn't know what you were getting into.
And like, obviously, hopefully everyone getting in is 18, but you're still really young and immature at that age and you have no idea the gravity of that situation.
So I think there also has to be space for people to evolve, right?
Like I hope I'm a different person now than I was at 18.
Otherwise, I haven't been putting in enough work on myself.
And like, I don't, this is why I don't, I don't want to tie you to something, but I'm just fascinated with understanding not only you, but understanding people in general with this kind of stuff.
It's like, okay, so obviously you and Yako have different lives, but we're all in the same place.
We're in the same room, which means God destined us to be here.
Like we, we are in this conversation.
And I wanted to talk about this because I don't know if you guys saw, but the pornhub year in review came out.
Now, I don't think I understood how much pornhub is visited until you actually look at the stats.
Like, I mean, and I looked at a lot of porn, especially when I was in high school and stuff like that.
I've seen porn even Savannah, Savannah and I have had a couple transsexual guests on this show, and we've seen some porn.
You know, it's one thing to have a temptation to like look at somebody hot having sex.
It's another thing to see someone who looks like a man with a vagina.
It's very confusing.
I'm not happy about it.
But I ended up looking at some of this stuff and I thought it was really fascinating because, you know, you and your life and what you and what you've done, I did want to know this too.
It's like said, you know, you can't, you can't separate yourself from this.
And it's like, you know, you're sweet.
I look at you.
I have no idea what you've done in your life, right?
You're just a girl walking down the street.
We're similar in age.
We're just trying to live our lives.
You're married.
You're living a good life.
And that's so awesome.
But it's like with genuinely with knowing these image, like with knowing what you've done or whatever, I don't mean what you've done.
But just with what your career choices have been and what you've, what you've chosen your life, are you proud?
Do you feel shame?
Do you, how do you come to terms?
Is it neutral?
Like, what is it?
Because obviously, you know, in the right-wing circles, people are like very anti-porn, but they all look at porn.
Like, like, yeah, I mean, I'm saying they condemn it, but they look at it, as we'll talk about, because we're seeing there's not a difference between political, religious, or any view in terms of pornography consumption from pornhub.
But it's like, how do you feel about that now that you've retired?
You've changed.
What is, what is your, what is your perspective on your life choices?
unidentified
So I definitely don't feel shameful about anything and there's not any regret.
I feel like when I made all of the decisions that I have, they were true in the moment and they were authentic in the moment for me.
And I was honestly chasing like a curiosity.
It wasn't, there was no dire situation.
I wasn't stuck in, and that was like my only option.
I was actually in university at the time.
So it wasn't like that victim narrative doesn't apply to me.
Right.
And it's not to take that away from where it does exist, but that wasn't my story.
So I think I might have maybe weighed out my options a little bit differently had I known exactly how many doors it would have closed.
But I'm so grateful for everything that I have done because I love my life now.
But unfortunately, not everyone has to accept your decisions.
I think that's the beautiful thing about freedom and where we live.
So there's another head to or another side to that coin, which is, you know, if you try to start a business, which we, and I'm not going to say the school, but my husband and I were trying to start a school.
And I already knew, obviously, the issues of my name being on anything.
And I was like, I don't want to be the face of it.
It's not, it's not for my ego or anything like that.
I'm just trying to start something that's going to be good for my child because where I'm at right now, all of the schools I think are atrocious.
It's like what they're teaching these kids is horrible.
And I found this school that I really loved their ethos.
I knew someone that started one in Austin and I was like, I want to be a part of this and I'll get someone qualified to run it.
Again, I'm hands off.
I just want to be the money for it and got turned down for it.
And I get it, right?
It's more conservative leaning, but we probably agree on more things than we disagree.
Like I would bet every dollar I had that we did.
Where we're going to disalign is probably just on sexuality, but my sexuality is with consenting adults.
So again, there's very little that we're going to disagree on.
So that opportunity out the door for me.
I have family members that still don't talk to me.
I've had my husband lose, like he had one funding.
He was doing a tech startup.
He won funding.
That got ripped away from him once they found out that I was his wife.
So he was there like for the entire evolution of my progress.
I started out just implied.
I didn't do anything, no, like real nudity, and then it kind of escalated.
But everything's always been a conversation.
And the way that he tackled it, especially when I started doing more of the hardcore scenes, was, I'm not going to make your decision for you.
Like, I want you to do what you think you have to do, what's best for your career.
I love you, and I'm going to stay here as long as I can.
I can't guarantee that because I don't know how I'm going to react in that situation.
It was so foreign to both of us.
Like neither of us led an alternative lifestyle.
We were monogamous our whole lives.
We had no idea what the consequences could have been or were going to be for that decision.
So at the same time of him being supportive, he was also honoring himself and saying, This is too much for me.
I'm going to leave.
And it's not a threat.
I still want you to do what you want to do.
But I feel like that's the most honest way that we could have tested that relationship.
Otherwise, you're left with either resentment on my end if I was like, well, I could have done X, Y, or Z, or him having to bury down his emotions and pretending that he was okay if he wasn't.
If you're a guy, you got a 30-second orgasm, one orgasm and an hour, a girl's multiple orgasms, a longer high.
But it's a 30-second high, which means for the guy, now you've got more frequency of use.
Now we see that the age of erectile dysfunction is severely lowered.
It's male, the main component now is males 18 to 25 because of self-stimulation from eight up.
So all of a sudden, the drug is used so frequently that they're completely desensitized.
right from a real relationship very young so you have to draw a line 17 and under 18 and over and the law does but now we're in this gray area where guys like gavin you're trying to lower the age of consent in california right now to 14.
yeah statutory rape is 17 and this is where we get into serious serious hot water with first amendment 18 over completely different conversation but unfortunately the industry which was not you but the industry and the consumer of the industry does not draw a hard line at 18.
They plummet to pre-puberty and that is where you are decimating a culture today.
So it's hard to tell the guy that's completely hooked on porn right, completely hooked on porn that goes and buys his first prostitute, which is always someone of similar age, that's safe.
They don't want to go to jail.
These guys don't want issues somewhere.
You're asking that guy in that environment to, when he's plummeting into the abyss, to draw a line at 18 not possible.
So apparently Glenn Beck doesn't let me open up Pornhub here, so I can't.
No movies on this show, don't worry Yako, we're good, they're not coming out.
Savannah's not taking hers out, i'm not taking mine out, we're all gonna be good here.
Uh but Savannah, if you can go to my screen, we did find a summary of Pornhub's um information, which is great uh, on this year, this last year's consumption um of pornography.
Now, what's really interesting you said about the plummeting of age, is like I want to talk about, like the effect of pornography both I want to talk about on yourself, because i'd love to hear this and i'd love to hear you too, talking about the effect on other people.
We've all had the experience.
Most people watching this.
You've probably, if you're a male, looked at a lot of porn in your life.
The chances of you still looking at a lot of porn in your life are probably pretty high.
And even if you're one of those people that say everyone who looks at porn is a degenerate, the amount of people that are that say that it's probably because you hate yourself, because you probably look at porn and you don't like so, and that's okay, meaning we're sinners and we're flawed and we have issues and things happen in your life.
But we all want to understand it.
What is this this, this?
It almost seems like this new crack right, it's like the crack of the 80s.
It's like porn is everywhere, everyone's doing it.
It's it's the cocaine of the 1970s right, like in the clubs or whatever.
I mean, this is just something people do.
It's a part of culture.
Now, in fact, it's not even a drug.
It's a part of society.
It's like drinking water or or, or eating food, and so, to kind of understand this, I I was really fascinated.
So, number one, um, we saw, like in 2018 2019, that like there was a massive surge in the search for Fortnite.
Now, I might be wrong, but i'm pretty sure there's a similar company associated with Pornhub and Fortnite am I am I wrong on that?
I think it's yeah, parent company.
So it's interesting that Fortnite was sort of, I think was designed by similar people who designed Pornhub.
I didn't know that yeah, and so the characters even got Uh, in trouble for having like weird gravity, so their breasts were very jiggly and bouncy and the characters were very curvy and it was considered trying to target kids for sexualization.
Now the funny thing is which is not funny is as it surged, as the game Surge that became one of the most searched terms was for Fortnite sex.
I don't know.
I don't know the cartoon thing.
I'm assuming these are minors.
I'm assuming these are minors.
I don't know if you're like 30 looking at like Fortnite.
unidentified
Oh, yeah, there's plenty of adults that look like anime stuff.
Yeah, everything I've done since I've been self-producing is behind a paywall because I just think it's irresponsible to have that kind of content that's for free for anyone.
I don't want my kid to grab someone's phone and see that.
I want it to be the one that has the conversation about what is healthy sex.
This is where Section 230 is blown to smithereens because it's not behind a paywall.
So here's what happens, Candace.
And this is cases we deal with.
The kid sits in the classroom.
A familial figure, familiar trafficking is the number one form of sex trafficking today.
It's someone you trust.
Simone Biles, her team doctor in the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team.
The kid is 10.
His teacher talked to him about anal sex.
The kid at 10 doesn't have the ability to now, when an adult talks to him on Twitter or on Fortnite on a live cam, he doesn't have the ability to go, well, that adult, I can talk about sex.
Anal sex, this adult, I can't.
This kid goes home, he types in anal sex on YouTube.
I'd never heard it before.
Gets hooked up porn, two hours of porn, porn addict at 12 abusing a classmate.
Well, so if it was behind a paywall, Johnny, if we can call him Johnny, doesn't discover group sex or G-style.
So his introduction to porn was not a magazine.
Pamela Anderson on a Harley Davidson with no top on.
It was cross-generational, cross-gender.
His hello to porn was not what our hello to porn was.
That's where I take a serious issue with our culture today because there is not absolute paywalls 17 and under.
Let's talk about this because there's a huge discussion about porn that I think is fascinating, which is like the idea of whether porn is free speech, right?
Whether porn is a First Amendment right.
And a lot of people argue against this.
And so like, the question is, is like, you said it's too easily accessible.
I know you agree with that.
We all agree with that.
It's like, it is pretty insane.
But of the question, should we ban porn, right?
Should we ban it nationally?
Like, I'd love to know your thoughts because if I Google imaged your name and took off safe search filters, probably could find something.
But what I'm asking, though, with taking it down, but like, what to the people who say, well, we should just ban porn altogether, like that would solve it.
Like, why do we have to do that?
unidentified
I think that's focusing on the wrong thing because the thing is, that's a conversation for 10 years ago, right?
We're decentralizing everything.
So you could try to ban it.
But with the way that technology is moving, you're not going to be able to.
And I think what you're going to end up doing is you're going to take the honest players out of it.
And then all that's going to be left is the criminal behavior, especially as it gets harder and harder to find.
So I think it's, we can disagree whether it's like morally ethical, right?
If that's something you should or shouldn't be doing.
But it's like, how do we protect our most vulnerable?
How do we protect the children?
Like that should be the conversation, not going after the consenting adults.
Because when you're watching mainstream, most of that is consenting.
Where it gets dodgy is the tube sites, where it gets dodgy is when there's no age verification to upload content.
So that's where we should be focusing, not on people like me who are self-producing by myself or couples that are producing and you know that they're married and consenting and there's no issue.
You could disagree with that behavior all day long, but you're not servicing the victims when you're focusing here instead of where the real issue is.
I can go with a moral argument in my position, right?
That porn destroys, that porn will ultimately have very long-term consequences.
But 18 and over, as a constitutionalist, as a lover, as an immigrant in this country, I can't be a hypocrite and now go, okay, you got to ban porn for adults, but they have freedom of speech.
And that's a very, very slippery slope.
I mean, you got to get yourself into some corrupt politician territory there.
But we must.
We must.
And I so respect you in this situation where you draw a line with consent and paywall and 17 and under.
We have a responsibility as society to allow a child to grow up to an age of 18, which we societally historically have decided, even for drinking.
To say now as a child, we have done everything we can to deposit a safe environment into your life.
Now go make your decisions as an adult.
I'm still going to go to the adults and say, Elijah, I don't want you to watch porn because I believe it's going to affect your life.
But when it comes to 17 and under, I'm swinging a sword.
I'm going to war.
I mean, I'm going to take anybody that's for it out.
Gavin Newsom, Cuomo, all these guys that are for, you cannot, you cannot subject that young brain to it.
But also then 18 and over, you're an adult.
Now I can call upon a morality clause in your life.
But 17 and under, they're the voiceless.
We have to step in for them.
And you make such a good point.
The systems are there.
You can't rip a Warner Brothers movie right now and not have serious consequences.
Only if you live in China.
Okay.
But here, I produce film.
There's massive ramifications.
Why not in porn?
That's the question to ask.
Why not?
It's not like we're asking to create some system that is just groundbreaking.
It doesn't exist.
So why not?
Because I'm telling you today, they want to sexualize children in this country 100%.
That's why the curriculum exists.
They don't want to stop it.
They don't want to stop that video that's for adults to get into Johnny's hands at eight because they're building a customer.
And it's not just a customer for porn.
They're building an individual that when he's 21 and he's sexualized at 8, 19, 12, forget about him voting for his First Amendment right, his Second Amendment right.
He's going to be a survivor of sexual abuse that's going to live to survive.
That's it.
The systems are in place.
They can't implement them today.
The Zuckerbergs, the Dorseys, these guys are cowards, absolute cowards, because they're part of the problem.
Well, I want to talk about this because the top searches for the last couple of years have been hentai, romance, group sex, fitness, and swapping, which is kind of interesting to me because hentai, okay, somehow I don't fully know what hentai is.
The romance thing is interesting because I found that since we've been dying for attention, we're going to talk about some of these things about how the lockdowns and the shutdowns have changed people's porn habits and their sexuality, which we'll talk about.
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So I do want to talk about this because it is interesting when I look at this.
I was reading that the searches for porn have changed.
And this is what I'm saying to romance, these top searches, group sex, fitness, and swapping.
And okay, this sounds like they're jumbled, but I want to break this down for people so we can talk about this.
Let's just jump into romance.
Okay.
So there's been a huge starvation in general, not just from people having virtual porn, but in being locked down of not having that human connection, of not having that.
I think another top, we go down for different places was like, was passion to I think passion, realistic, amateur, because it breaks it down to like sub searches of this looking for something real.
And it's like, okay, you've done porn.
Did you enjoy it?
unidentified
There were times, yeah, absolutely.
Like often, like 50, like my career or the sex sex itself.
Like, did you feel like it was real and a real enjoyment?
Did you ever have that or was it always work?
unidentified
No, no, no.
It was, it was like the day or who I was working with.
So I always had a shoot list.
I didn't just work with anyone.
I had like a very shorthand list of men that I would work with.
So they were kind of vetted to be professional and treat me the right way and not be disrespectful or anything like that.
So I definitely was at an advantage to already set myself up for a better kind of experience than a lot of people that just kind of go in and whoever shows up shows up kind of situation.
But yeah, I mean, most more often than not, it was a great experience.
So when someone's typing in romance from somebody who's been in a woman, I'd be curious as to like the gender breakdown of that, though, because romance typically is a search term that a woman uses.
When you're typing a romance from somebody who's been in the industry, what is that?
What is romantic porn?
What are they looking for?
unidentified
I never shot porn that was like, that was for women.
So typically, if it's shot for a woman, there's probably more of a storyline and focus less on like the tight graphic shots and more just like an artistic cinematic type of feel.
It's not going to be as aggressive as the male porn like that's shot for male viewership.
So I think it's more storyline.
Basically, if you were to picture a romantic novel and then try to make that into a movie, I would assume that's more of the storyline.
The human behavioral science behind this and COVID escalated it is because people actually want real and they're telling you in a porn hub search, I want something real because we have decimated the male culture in this in this society.
We have absolutely emasculated men.
Women want to be pursued.
I'm not talking about cat called and hunted, but pursued in a chivalrous way, a way where I'm going to earn her heart.
I'm going to earn her love.
I'm going to turn her on over a period of time.
Not just going to jump in bed and say it's sex tonight.
They want to be pursued because, in the essence, if I go back to the beginning, it is tribal.
It's what we are.
Just like a woman would want to mother and nurture and make a home and keep stability and have time.
Women want security.
Your wife, you want children.
Women want to be pursued.
We have, I can use different words, but I won't.
We have created a culture in America with a bunch of pansies.
The guys are weak.
They've been emasculated.
We've cut their balls off, literally, proverbially in society.
And they're just going to go to, okay, well, you know what?
I'm going to self-stimulate.
I'm going to get mine when it's time.
And I don't need to work for it because we've now convinced women to self-objectify 60% of college female students watch porn.
60%.
I spoke at 35 college campuses, 60%.
And so women want to be pursued.
They want romance.
Why do you think romance novels for women is the number one seller?
They want the story.
They want the vicarious.
This is Disney.
Walt Disney knew it.
Disney princesses.
It's the Disney story.
Get Snow White.
She falls asleep.
The prince comes.
True love's kiss.
I mean, that's not going to change, Elijah.
And now you get it on porn hub.
People are saying, without saying it, hey, can we get something real?
Now come Zuckerberg and sprinkle some metaverse sex on this thing.
And this is what I want to say: this is interesting to me with patterns on this stuff.
Is like, you know, I think it's really interesting with porn that group sex, three sums, FFM, MMF, which you don't need to Google all these things, were also like a really big increase.
I think it was like 246, like 290% increases in this.
And what I saw ultimately speaking was that individuals, they said, were really fascinated with this novelty of group sex.
It was, they actually understood it in the stats, was particularly because they said people were craving this like social behavior.
Now, obviously, people have their own kinks and fetishes and whatever, and people do group sex.
It's from the end of time to the beginning of time.
We see like paintings in Greece and Rome, and people have always been having orgies and whatnot.
We all stuff with, and then also with fitness and with swapping and this move towards, it said like these more like basically, people are not okay anymore with just two people doing each other.
Like it's, we've gotten to past the point where people are even really wanting to just see one-on-one sex on a mass level, meaning the search numbers are decreasing for that and the search numbers for other things are increasing.
And I don't know, because you said you didn't do like too much crazy stuff and you were around and you're here now.
Have you seen a shift in the adult industry where like things have pushed towards more extreme, more objects inside people, more novelty?
Like, you know, like that's basically what I saw.
The overall trend is that novelty and more extreme, more intense ways of having sex is becoming the more common search terms.
unidentified
So I think there's a couple, a couple points to touch on this.
So I have seen counter data recently published.
I think Dr. Nicole Prousy recently said that the spike in these in porn during COVID is actually not true.
Like something leveled out.
I didn't get to read the actual research paper.
When it comes to wanting to watch group sex, especially because most, most of the viewers are men, right?
There's actually, it actually triggers like a sperm war biological component as to why men like group sex.
So if you watch a lot of other men, there becomes like a sperm competition.
So it ends up being more arousing just naturally.
This has kind of been since the dawn of time.
I don't know if that's gone up or not.
I would have to see the charts.
But as far as going like more extreme, more violent, maybe more obscure sex, that 100% is happening.
I would just wonder if the viewership is actually watching it because they're aroused and they want to get off, or if it's we're kind of creating like this weird entertainment out of it that people just want to see what happens because it's so crazy.
I've never been a proponent of the very violent stuff, of the very crazy stuff.
I don't think it's safe for the performer, even when they're consenting.
And I've met a lot of these women that do these really wild circus acts.
And I think it's, it's like trauma showing up in a different way.
Again, that's my opinion.
I never really did extreme stuff because that's not what I'm into.
And I just don't see that as healthy.
I think there's sex, and we'd probably agree on this, but just different definitions.
But I agree that there's a sexual, healthy way to express yourself sexually.
And then there's a dysfunctional way.
So I think when you get into the violence, when you get into stuff that just doesn't make sense, you kind of have to ask, like, who is this for and why am I doing it?
So when you see fidget spinners being incorporated, like, who is this for?
If you see a girl that's black and blue and she's done, who is this for?
Why am I doing it?
But yeah, the group stuff is fascinating to me because there's this great book and I reference it at nauseum.
It's called A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
And it's like these two researchers that use neuroscience and they break down the information information on the internet and specifically internet porn as to why we watch what we watch and how that kind of goes back evolutionary evolutionary speaking.
It's, it's, it's how you create a great NFL team: you throw 83 guys in the room and say, half of you go home four weeks from now, go compete.
And it's how you bring the best out of males.
And that's the animal kingdom.
It's there.
But your question about why it's spiking and it is spiking and it is violent.
It's because of desensitization, because the drug.
You can't, it cannot stay stagnant.
It will go to bestiality.
It will go to where people lose their lives and they have.
It will go to black and blue.
We deal with nurses in the ER.
We train nurses in the ER.
The amount of women who come in who are performers, who, you know, who do engage in the grotesque acts that you didn't go to, some point you've got to ask yourself and just go, wait a second, this is abuse.
And if this is abuse and someone gets off on abuse, there's a serious cognitive problem.
There's a serious issue in the viewer and in the person.
And then we can get into the other arena where a lot of the pimps that we arrest force the girls into porn if they can't make enough money on the street.
So it's a big playground.
It's not just you.
If there's such a way in my brain where I could go, well, the healthiest way to do this would be your scenario.
But it's there's scenarios out there that is disastrous.
I want to add to this is like, it is interesting because like a good amount of people who watch the show are right-wing.
A good amount are conservative.
And there's this real push in the younger generation, Gen Z, where they're like really mad at pornography because they feel like it's robbed them of something.
Where I feel like you're millennial.
Yeah, yeah.
So millennials have this more like, we are kind of like the first generation that kind of grew up on porn, I would say, the first ones, but it was still like kind of novel.
Like we'd get like our PlayStation or PSPs and found every device, by the way, every technology, we either figure out how to have sex with it or how to look up sex on it, right?
That's the age-old joke.
Like we kind of grew up on it and we didn't really, we were the experiment age of like we were in porn, we consumed porn.
Like we just, we didn't really know.
And we're learning kind of now the effect it had on us as we sort of grow up into being the adults that we want to be.
But the younger generation is sort of angry because they were like almost forced into it.
We've kind of discovered it, I would say.
It was an option.
And it's like now you can't escape porn.
It's like, it's more like it's harder.
Do you know they did a study recently where they were trying to find young, they were trying to test a control group.
Yeah, of young men who haven't looked at porn.
They couldn't find them.
And so I'm saying like, do you ever, because that's, I feel like responsibility with this too?
Cause obviously I was a big, big consumer of pornography.
Like, do you ever feel culpability or do you feel like you're feeding something that, or you fed something that has like led to the destruction of like innocence or like, do you feel like any guilt in why this next generation, they hate you, by the way.
Well, to touch on the escalation thing really quick.
So I've talked to other people that have also been in the research space there.
And it is also suggested like that doesn't exist in pornography.
So if you take these men that are violent or do like bestiality, all of these things that are very taboo and we shouldn't be touching, if they're in a place where they feel like they can be honest, that was the thing that they had always been wanting to go after.
It just took them a while to get muster up that courage to actually seek out that illegal content.
Is a normal stand-up person and feeds you a bunch of regular porn.
And all of a sudden, you're going to say, like, I need to watch children.
That's not my dog.
That's not going to happen.
So, there's already a precursor there.
There's antisocial tendencies there.
So, yeah, I think, again, we totally agree that content is horrible, shouldn't be out there, and absolutely shouldn't be there for free, let alone so easily accessible.
But there's something else happening.
And I think we're being a little bit short-sighted and focusing on the wrong thing.
It's not an escalation issue.
There's all of these other things.
And then when it comes to the younger generation that has an issue with porn, they feel like something's been robbed from them.
I think you should be mad at all of the tech companies.
I mean, you're absolutely, your attention's being stolen.
Your relationships are being stolen.
Your sense of self is being stolen.
But that's not just from porn.
That's from Instagram, right?
They released their data on the effects specifically on younger women.
And there's like an increase of 50% in suicide attempts for young girls.
Body image has gone down, like how you perceive your self-confidence and self-image.
I mean, all of these effects are having cyberbullying.
So it's not just porn.
I mean, it's your device.
So how do we say that there's been this experiment that's been happening on these young people?
When I was a kid, I used to, I'm not going to say who from, but I used to borrow DVDs from people and VHSs and then I would fast forward to the booby scenes, you know, in the R-rated films.
But those are the one, there used to, you know, R in like TVMA used to be like one booby scene, like one.
Now it's like hardcore porn.
Like I'm surprised.
But I meant like, but I want to bring this up too, but that's what I'm saying.
I'm nervous because even if I was younger and I was curious, so I had to put some effort into like, and I think young boys, especially will be a little bit naughty, especially when you're going through puberty.
You're looking, I mean, you do want to see things, but that's what I'm, that's alarming to me here, like four through seven.
You're not saying like, oh, there's a 13-year-old that's curious going through puberty, wants to see some boobies, trying to access an R-rated movie, whatever.
I mean, the point is this is not, this is something where that's what I was saying, why they're so angry, is it's almost like, like, I, Sav, you know this, that's what I'm saying.
We accidentally, and I mean this genuinely, because I can clarify that Savannah's not trying to look at transgenders with penises having anal sex and stuff like that, but we've seen stuff.
What I'm saying is that we didn't want to see, right?
And I bring this up and I'm laughing because as an adult.
Well, that's you're laughing because you're like, I never wanted to see this, but I'm saying like, as an adult, though, I can pro I still can't process it.
I take that back, but I can process it, meaning like me and Savannah are like, okay, that's crazy.
But I remember it because I can't forget it because it was crazy.
And what I'm saying is like, what throws me off with the whole porn thing is if I can't avoid porn in my job, right?
If I can't avoid it, meaning no matter what, if I'm researching anything, at some point I'm seeing something.
I know people say pop-ups don't really have those anymore, but something you're going to see.
And even if you go to these like cheap sites, you ever notice the ads are hypersexual too?
It almost looks like porn, but it's not.
And it's like this, you know, Photoshop giant breasts or something.
I don't know, weird stuff.
But it's like, it makes me nervous because I feel like, like, that's what I'm kind of wondering is like looking back on this.
If you can go to my screen, Savannah, here, Evangeline Lilly was talking about this interesting idea.
She's speaking out against vaccines and she was saying, I believe nobody should ever be forced to inject their body with anything against their will.
And she talks about this idea of coming back into this, this, this world of consent, of having this ability, right?
Where we live in a world outside of consent.
It's like porn is forced upon you.
You can't choose whether you want a vaccine or not.
It's like your own sexuality, your health.
You have no control.
It almost feels like anymore.
And people are angry.
They're upset.
But she spoke about this idea also too, about like with this, this, this taking back over, this idea of getting back into women, even in public, being able to take on feminine roles, not being forced to show nudity, not being forced to have sex and be hypersexualized and also not being forced to take on male roles.
Like they always have to be the tough boss and this and that.
Like women just being modest and decent and just living their life.
And so I mean, like, as you've grown up, as you've matured, as you've developed, like, has your thoughts on pornography changed?
Has your thoughts on your career changed?
I mean, like, like, what is from when you joined in to now, as she's changed, what are your thoughts on the effect of pornography on women and the effect of pornography on men?
unidentified
So I think when I first got in, I was so young and cavalier about it.
Like, you don't think about consequence other than how is this going to benefit me or what do I want?
Like, you don't really think outside of yourself.
And then as you get older, and especially if you have children, it's almost impossible not to think outside of yourself, yourself and how everything is interconnected and everything is going to affect the generations that are going to precede you.
I think as I, and this is before I even had a child, but maybe it was like once I removed myself from the industry and I had the space to like think about these concepts, I was like, how are there not paywalls?
I think I just started focusing more on the responsibility of it.
And I guess what I would call is like ethical porn.
Some people might say that's impossible, but I'm just saying making it accessible just to adults and making sure that everyone is consenting.
And even when you have professional actresses that come on, there can be times and there are times where you show up and in some way you are coerced to do the scene, whether it's through guilt because maybe you don't want to do something.
And this has happened to me in particular, where they're like, if you don't do this, no one gets paid today.
But I've always been a little bit more disagreeable, which has absolutely worked to my advantage.
And I'm like, well, I guess no one's getting paid because I'm not doing this.
And this has happened several times to me.
So I know it happens.
And I know that a lot of women maybe aren't in the position where they feel or can say no.
So I think it just comes down to how do we make this, I guess, again, like just the most ethical and safe to consume and produce.
And again, protecting our most vulnerable, which is our children.
And look, all our social media we used to fight trafficking.
But the bottom line is an amazing show.
Thank you, Elijah.
Such incredible respect for you.
And to your last point, I think that happens in any industry.
You know, I play professional sport, right?
And so there's a time where you just want to be the athlete.
And then you learn about the business.
And then you learn about, wait a minute, they're taking a lot of my money.
And wait a minute, I should have gotten a different deal.
And wait a minute, they make all the money with broadcast rights.
And so it's an evolution.
And I think I love, this is the first and only conversation I've ever had on this issue with someone from the industry where I felt like your aim is 100% on how is it safe and healthy, right?
Is that easier to do as a female than straight porn?
I guess you're not a lesbian.
unidentified
I'm not a lesbian, so I feel like the straight porn was easier for me because it was less, it was just more natural to be with a man than it was to be with a woman.
But it's, I would say, an easier shoot day when you're with another woman.
Well, it's like, but it's also like not even the gay part.
It's just like people almost can think like, well, it's not as bad.
It's like I'm looking at two chicks.
Like, I'm so straight.
It's softer, too.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
And it, but it is interesting.
Like, why, why is it that there's this huge interest?
Is it novelty?
Is it curiosity?
Is it just because men just want to see women kiss?
Like, I don't know.
I just thought it was fascinating for a lot of continents, especially Western countries.
Lesbian porn was the most searched term.
unidentified
Well, I think that it's, it's more inherently beautiful.
Like you have two female bodies together.
I think that there's, there's not something very beautiful necessarily when you watch a man and a woman on a on a porn film, right?
It's a little bit aggressive and there's like these really tight shots.
You feel a little bit invasive.
But I think when you're watching lesbian porn, it's just shot to be a little bit softer, more romantic, a little bit more palatable.
So maybe someone who's not into the hardcore stuff can still find something that's arousing and they don't feel like maybe there's no, maybe it's more ethical too, right?
Like there's no one forcing the girls to be there because there's not like some big man that might be degrading her, like all of those things that we kind of wrestle with when we talk about issues with viewing pornography.
So I think it just feels, it's like a good entry point for a lot of people.
And I think what's interesting too, like most interesting to me about pornography is like when you looked at it by age, is like the older people were into like they watched like you actually watched as the fetishes changed by age.
There's cutscenes and, you know, breaks and all that kind of stuff.
But it is like, it is interesting to me to watch.
Like, and I'm wondering how much porn is having an effect on sexual behavior versus sexual behavior having an effect on porn.
Since the older generations that weren't, didn't grow up on porn, their search results seem to reflect more of a natural, like a natural sexual relation versus like, I've never seen anyone married to a Fortnite character.
So like, I'm just saying like, and I polyamory just doesn't really work per se.
It works for a few people on TLC, but it's not, guys, it doesn't really work.
But I'm saying like, like, do you feel that?
Do you feel like porn is having more of an effect on people?
Have we lost control of this?
Like, is it, is there any way to stop this?
unidentified
Again, I don't know if it's porn per se or if it's just technology in general and the fact that we're just dehumanizing everyone by being on social media all the time.
And we're more likely to have interactions with each, with people digitally than we are in real life.
We're not having meaningful conversations.
We're not having meaningful relationships.
I don't know that that's necessarily porn.
And I think when it comes to the group stuff, again, I think that goes back to the caveman era.
Like, again, we talked about paintings on the walls.
There's always been a fascination with that.
I think maybe when it comes to boomers, there were a lot more sexual restrictions.
We weren't allowed to want pleasure.
I mean, that's very new for women.
It was often fed that we could only have sex for reproductive purposes.
So the idea of just being able to have a right to pleasure is fairly new for women.
So it's not to say that that wasn't there before, but now it's like allowed.
It's not so taboo for us to search these things.
And I think the internet makes it obviously, we know makes it a lot easier.
When I see like the Gen Z that you mentioned, watching a lot of the cartoon stuff, that is a little bit concerning to me because it's like, why would you rather have that sexual interaction with something that's not real than with something that could be real or at least simulates a real connection?
Because that seems natural.
That seems like, okay, well, maybe I'm just doing this for some kind of release and that's fine.
I don't have a problem with porn.
I just want to have that orgasm.
I don't see a problem with that.
But if you're only watching Hentai, I wonder if that's going to affect your relationships with real people.
Yeah, but I mean, like, this happens with Sydney on my other show.
And it's like, it's like, which is fine.
You know, people, men are men.
Men like beautiful women and whatnot.
But like, it also gets to the point where sometimes, Savannah, and you know this, sometimes the messages and everything, it's like, at a certain point, it's like you've lost touch with reality.
And I don't know if that's just male behavior or maybe they've just like like because Sav's a screen person and you're a screen person.
I mean, maybe we're not on chatterbait putting, you know, dildos up or ask for money, but it's like we still technically are taking like super chats and we're still having that relationship with people.
Where people begin to form these like sexual relationships with the females in these podcasts where it's like they're like, and Sav, I don't mean that because I'm not like calling you on.
I'm saying it's sometimes like there's a difference between people admiring Sav's not.
Again, I don't want to say don't put me on the screen.
unidentified
I don't want to say causation with porn again.
I think, I mean, I even remember being in middle school and getting really inappropriate comments to me, like from other boys.
I think it's those fringe males that have those anti-social tendencies that like to see people squirm, that like to violate your space, that like to test your boundaries.
I don't think that that's masculinity.
I don't think that's a healthy man.
I don't think that porn did that to them.
I think that they might have already been broken.
So it's how do we have a conversation with those people?
Can we fix them?
Can we make them into healthy men so that they are treating everyone, especially women, with more respect?
And we don't have because this happens on Instagram too.
Like you can't open up your DMs because you'll get flooded with dick pics.
I shouldn't have to do that.
Even with my profession, I shouldn't have to do that because I didn't ask for that.
I showed up to a professional set where those are my boundaries.
That was where I was consenting.
I'm not consenting for you to just flash me your junk.
I don't know you.
I never said that was okay.
So for some reason, we like very, it's very easy for us to dehumanize someone in my position or I guess Sydney's position.
It's like we're real people.
And I know the screen can kind of take that away a little bit, but we have to, you know, use our software to realize there's still something real behind there that has like emotions, feelings, and consequences for these.
I honestly think that if you're already consuming porn, you have a very degraded sense of what sex actually is.
So, it can be very easy for you to get confused.
And, you know, you're already on that site.
So, maybe people get curious.
I don't know.
This is not a place that I frequent.
But that's kind of what I think about it.
We as a society have taken sexuality and we confused people so much to the point where now we do have women who are taking on masculine roles and researching this type of stuff.
And with these porn hub statistics, we can very much see a reflection of society in the modern day.
So it's not surprising to me, but it is very telling of how much our society has degraded and how confused everyone has become.
Yeah, I mean, I don't, I mean, you probably don't feel like the exact same way on this stuff, but what is, do you have any, do you have any explanations?
My wife said hell, and I was like, I don't know.
unidentified
So they've, again, this is in that book that I mentioned earlier in the episode.
So they think that a lot of straight women watch gay porn is because it's shot more from like the female, what would be the female perspective.
So when you're watching hetero porn, it can be like very invasive and icky to a woman because the woman is the central focus.
Like you might get the guy's junk in there, but the rest of it is focused on the woman and her anatomy.
And then that doesn't resonate with us because we're straight.
So we don't want that does nothing for us.
So if you're watching the gay porn, the shots are the same.
Like they're still pretty invasive and they're like in the guy's business.
But that's like a more natural perspective for us as a straight woman is to be looking at the guy during like the sex act versus looking at the woman.
Yeah, no, I just, I just think those were like the things that shocked me the most were the fact that cartoon porn, just in summary, is like where we're, what we're into now, I guess, as people, the juxtaposition between like group sex and romance, like those are increasingly people want more intimate, but also people want more detached, like you said, sperm wars.
And then also the difference in the age, the age searches.
And then also the idea that apparently women are into gay porn, which I just Sav has never told me.
And Candace, Gary, I actually asked you a question as well because I am interested, just because you do have experience in this industry for maybe other women who feel like this is their only alternative to making money.
What would your message to them be to, you know, young women who think that this may be empowering or a good thing for them?
What would your message to them be as someone who's been in the industry?
unidentified
That's a tough one because everyone's reason for getting in is so different.
I think that if you're going into it because you feel pressured to, whether it's financially or socially, that that's not the move.
Again, it's a decision you can't undo and there's real life consequences for that that will follow you and your family for the rest of your lives.
So unless it's something that's an authentic curiosity for you, like you want to explore that side of you and you are okay with the consequence, you're not doing it to get rich or to get famous.
You're not doing it for social credit or I guess even to feel empowered.
Again, it has to do, and it's something it's really hard to articulate, but it just feels like that's like your path.
And I know that so many people are going to disagree, but for me, that was the, those were the stepping stones I was meant to take.
I think that when you listen to some of these really big podcasts that are popular with young women and they're like, go start an OnlyFans girl.
And I think it's, it's interesting where like I'm not uncomfortable talking about pornography because it's like, no, I don't know.
I've seen a lot of it.
And I agree with everyone that like it's, you know, there's the damaging effects of it will not be understood long term.
Like, and I would say not just the damaging effects, but just with this free, accessible, like free porn culture is the real problem is genuinely to me is this, is this, why is it so easy to like, why is it so easy to access porn?
Like, I don't get it.
You know what I'm saying?
unidentified
Like, no, totally, but I would say like the bigger picture, like, let's scope out because that's what people want you to look at.
I think the real issue is that we became a product, right?
It's not, it's not porn.
It's we became a product without our consent.
So we're a product on social media.
We're a product as soon as you have a phone.
Like your digital footprint is huge and people are selling it and making billions of dollars off of how do I monetize Elijah?
That's the problem.
So yeah, they're absolutely doing it with porn, but they're doing it everywhere else.
And it is, that's what I was saying about like not saying that we're porn stars here, but meaning like that's why like the people that just hate people and porn, like in fact, like you said, we almost all are porn stars, meaning it's like whether or not, whether it's your personality or whether we're all selling ourselves, we're all a product now.
And it is scary.
It is scary because that's why you can get canceled.
Because before, Pete, you were, you, your work was the product.
And so it didn't matter if you were sleeping around or if you did something scandalous or whatever, because if you made a good, you know, you're a good boat craftsman, then your boat still, you know, floated and you still would buy the boat, you know, and, and, but it's, it's all about us, even politicians.
It's now about the politician, not about their policies.
No one knows what AOC has done in Congress.
Everyone just knows who AOC is and what she said on Twitter and where she went maskless.
And no one's talking about what has she accomplished?
What has she voted on?
What has she, what has she done?
It's all just who is, who's in, you know, Matt Gates is a scandal and this and that.
It's like, but nobody's like, nobody can tell you anything that Congress has gotten done because nobody's looking at what we're doing.
Everyone's just looking at who we are as a person.
And that has really, really put us in a very curious place.
We're like, but this is where I fundamentally actually enjoy people like yourself is because I'm a very weird, just strange person who like doesn't really fit in a lot of places.
And like I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and a lot of retarded things.
And I've never once told people, follow me because of me.
I've just been like, hey, I'm on a journey to discover truth and I'm trying to understand life.
And that's the journey I'm on.
And like my question, I do just want to like with kind of summarizing some of this stuff is like in all of this, like, do you believe in God?
Have you found God?
What's your, what's your thoughts on, on, on God and his take on your life or where you're headed?
unidentified
I absolutely believe in God.
Yeah.
I consider myself to be a very spiritual person.
Again, I am a weird person in the same regard that I don't belong in any single bucket.
So I don't ever feel like fully accepted into any group because I've done something that offends someone on each side in every way.
I believe in fate.
I believe in destiny.
I also believe that that's like a very fine dance with free will.
So I think that you're presented opportunities and options.
And I think that you're also presented with a lot of hints as to what are the right decisions to be making throughout your life.
And I think that, you know, God or the universe or whatever anyone wants to call it, I think that they have the best interest for you.
And that, you know, life is supposed to be beautiful and filled with love and happiness.
And you're presented with these choices that are either going to lead you there or take you away from it.
So just being aware and present in your life when you're making decisions and, you know, how you show up.
And Candace 2, if I could jump in, watch here, just I want to commend you for coming on because Elijah and I were actually talking about how we have this new wave of young conservative men that are coming forward and they can be very, very judgmental about women like yourself.
The Bible explicitly talks about how people can grow and change and how God used some of the most degenerate among, you know, people in the past to actually spread his word.
And in the modern day, we seem to have forgotten that.
And then we look down on me and we condemn people who have changed and are trying to speak out.
So I really commend you for coming on here and actually just spreading light about this issue and exposing the fact that you may have decided to make a certain decision when you were younger, but you can grow and you can expand from that.
And you can still be a mom who goes home to her kids at the end of the day and says, you know what, I'm not going to raise my children up to think that this is okay.
Or maybe I will explain this to them in a different way than society would.
So again, I just commend you for coming on and exposing our audience to this different viewpoint.
And so like, so yeah, with that being said, you know, I just want to also remind you too that like with people that are watching this is like, don't listen to the people that are constantly trying to peg you, which is the wrong term, but very.
Trying to peg you into like, I said pigeonhole is a better thing, I guess, into like remaining who you are.
We're all on a path and we're understanding who we are.
And I do just want to remind you too that, like, God is a God of redemption and he's constantly, you know, his redemption is redeeming us from our choices.
He's redeeming us from who we are.
And I'm always learning too.
Like, I've done some stuff in my life, definitely.
And I'm not entirely, you know, like, I haven't figured off everything out either.
But it's like, but I do find it fascinating talking to someone too, who's like not trying to be dogmatic and just like, I know what's right, but they're like 18 and they have no idea what's going on.
Anyways, if people want to follow you and they want to follow your podcast, if they want to follow you online, they want to hear more of your thoughts as you are a fascinating person.
Where can they find you?
unidentified
You can go to chattingwithcandice.com and that has all my Candace socials and my podcast.
I'll take you to my YouTube, all that good stuff.
And then if you want to follow on me, follow me on Twitter.
I'm shadow banned.
So you actually have to type in the domain and then use my handle after the forward slash that's fall in lovia.
Anyway, if you make it this far in the podcast, which I'm assuming, I always tell people, if you make it this far in a podcast, you probably like the show.
And if you made it this far and you don't, you need to rethink your life because why are you wasting this much time?
This is an hour and 20 minutes of your life.
You can't get back.
So if you, if you make it this far, it's the easiest way to support us is by leaving a five-star review anywhere where you can find podcasts.
And you might get it read on the show, which is amazing.
