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Jan. 5, 2021 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
25:12
Why I'm Leaving California | Guest: Krocs_On | Ep 52

I'm done with California & this is the backstory of why I decided to finally move out.

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I'm tired of living in California, and so are millions of other people.
Welcome back to Slightly Offensive, of course, with your favorite Q-Pac.
Me, Elijah Schaefer.
As I always say, if you don't know what it means to be a QPOC, it probably means you're not woke enough.
And if you want to be, make sure that you stay tuned for this entire episode.
You know, I've just about had it with living in the state of California.
It is absolutely impossible to have an enjoyable life here.
But one thing just happened that cut it all short.
And by cutting short, I mean the amount of days I'm going to actually live here.
And that was just the other day, our governor, Gavin Newsom, who's actually the nephew of Nancy Pelosi, a very corrupt family, has decided that amidst money not being available for small businesses in the Paycheck Protection Program, he was going to allocate $125 million bailout to illegal aliens.
Regardless of your status, documented or undocumented, there are people in need.
And this is a state that steps up always to support those in need, regardless of status.
And that's what life's like in California.
We're going to talk about that in just a few moments.
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So today we're talking, of course, about leaving California.
You and I are getting the heck out of California.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody knows about Hollywood.
Everyone knows about the walk, the Hollywood Walk of Fame and stuff.
So I move out there.
I invite you out there.
And we're driving from the airport to bring you out to Hollywood.
I guess not for your first time.
You took me through the, was it Beverly Hill?
Yeah, I drove you through a nice beautiful house.
I didn't receive you.
Oh, wow.
Isn't this wonderful?
And then you pull up like, well, here's my apartment.
I'm going, oh, what is this place?
Discussing this like poop on the ground and people.
And it's like right off the walk of fame.
You guys want to know.
I don't poop outside my house.
Well, that's what I did.
So I like LA is so bad that you know you go, okay, somebody's coming here.
My wife's coming here.
So I've got to like take a extra long side route because if you leave LAX, you actually go through Compton and like Inglewood, which is getting a little bit better.
Compton is considered a decent area now.
So that's welcome to welcome to California.
And so I took you the back route.
Yeah, through West LA, through Beverly Hills specifically.
Santa Monica took you through.
Wow.
Oh my gosh, the houses.
I want this one and that one and that door and this, that.
And you thought this was like California and I was like, I know, I was like, wow, I totally got the wrong impression when I came here the first time.
Wow.
I took you through Pedophile Alley, which is really what that area is.
And also.
It looks nice.
Pedophile Alley is beautiful.
Hey, it pays to sell your soul to the deep state.
It really does.
But it's like these houses, what I didn't tell you, they were like $10 million and $20 million.
And that's true.
That's like a decent priced home in the area of LA.
It's about $10 million, $6 million.
You can find an okay home.
But if you want to get a really good home, you're going to look in the $10 to $17 to $20 million.
And then if you want to go to Malibu, you're looking like $32,000, $42,52, sometimes even up to $120 million for a house.
But if you took the 120,000, dropped a couple zeros and the 20, you look at my, more of what my yearly income was at that time working off of bones.
And I brought you to the, we lived at the, I can say it now, we lived at the they should be called the Hollywood Terrorist Apartments because I felt like I was in a cave in Baghdad.
Yeah.
The apartment itself was like crooked and the fridge was like slanty.
Everything was slanty.
It smelled as soon as you, if you like kept the balcony doors open or if you left the apartment, the smell of urine.
Urine?
Urine.
Is that an Australian way to say urine?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to not say like piss.
I'm trying to not be so rude.
You really want to say bad words on this show.
But no, but like it just like stinks.
And then you'll be like, oh, let's sit on the balcony.
And I just want to make sure.
Let's do a quick racism test though.
So you said it stunk.
All of our neighbors were either from India or they were Asian from China.
Okay.
Now you said our area stunk and our apartment didn't.
Are you saying that some Asian cultures have unique smells and you don't and you're not fond of them?
I just want to make sure that you're not saying that on my show.
I am absolutely not saying that.
Okay.
We wouldn't say that on our show because that's not true.
Curry does not come out through the pores.
But you know what, to be truthful, before I bring that up as race, whenever I, I am a curry, I love curry.
We both do.
And when we drive out of the city, we stink the next day after we eat it.
But only white people stink after they eat curry.
Only we do because we're allowed to say that on the show.
We had buttoned chicken the other day and I had to wash my hands about a billion times.
Even when I'm sleeping, I'm like, oh, what is that curry?
I haven't even washed my hands yet.
But it's so good.
It's delicious.
Literally, Indians, if they could run their country the way they make food, they might actually get somewhere.
Literally, they're a socialist country.
It's terribly run.
that people are all leaving in masses and thank God because people are leaving India?
The best people leave.
That's why we have the best.
Oh, yeah.
People always, we have the best.
That's what happens when immigration is done right.
That's where they go, well, why is it that Asians are dope in the country?
Why is it that Indian people are cool in America?
You go, well, because it's called vetted immigration.
And we actually take not like, I don't mean morally good, but we take Indians who contribute to the country and we bring them in.
And that's called a net positive.
So why is other regions or places where Asians are?
Why do they do better?
That's because we don't just have a mass horde of people coming into the southern border because we feel bad for them.
Meanwhile, we give them $125 million of bailouts, which we're going to get into.
But that's a side note.
Let's talk about Hollywood and the greater reflection of the area.
So you were a good girl.
You were a Christian girl.
And still very good, very Christian.
Well, what I mean is you were, because even as you got married, you know, I would say you kept a hold and control.
You had self-control.
You married one man.
You never dated another man.
You weren't physical with another man.
You kept your body and your mind and everything pure for God.
But you forgot about what homeless people could bring out for show and tell, which is when you saw your first couple of penises.
Certainly.
Look, it's hard not to just be really rude and graphic, but oh my gosh.
I have seen so many times I would go walk down to the store and come back with groceries and there would be a homeless man sitting out the front on my footpath, just naked, squatting and taking a dump.
But this is getting out of control.
This is video salon owner Bebo Saab took yesterday.
Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon scene in Union Square.
She just undressed herself, start scratching herself with horrible nails.
He says multiple clients refused to enter his salon because this woman was defecating in front of it.
And then you don't, like, I don't want to be mean and cross the road and be like, ah, you sicko because I have compassion, but I'm also like, oh my gosh, like, at least there's poop poo on my door.
You're in my, you're on the footpath.
Taking it crap naked.
What can I do?
And then there are other men.
You know, we'll go.
We just saw another one.
Remember, we were driving through the other week and the man had blasting poo, and it was smeared on his buttons.
So he had already done a swap burst.
So people were like mentally ill.
Have you seen that video?
I think it went viral a very long time ago, probably when I was in high school.
These people in LA are mentally ill.
And there's the homeless people.
Pretty much everyone here is like kind of mentally ill, to be honest.
They are.
They really are.
And so it's really like a conflict in your heart because on one hand, you're like, oh my gosh, somebody needs to help these people.
Like, you need to be somewhere safe.
Like, you're taking drugs.
You're, you don't, like, even every night, we would walk past and there would be like random mattresses outside, homeless people sleeping, roofless hotels.
We call them yes, but it's like you're just on the corner, like it's like, it's just like a, it's like an airbnb, but you don't have to pay anything and you might come down with like hepatitis c after, and I think we both experience hotel Six, essentially without a roof, but after we lived there for about a year, I think we both experienced like a hardness of heart when you see it.
So I used to care about homeless people.
Yeah I I, I used to do ministries down in skid row and um, we would do things that really helped them, like sing them, worship songs.
No, i'm just kidding, it's like get off your matless and transfer God.
No no, we would go down there, we would.
We would bring them, pick up your mattress and walk.
Well, I almost, I almost gave up.
I almost I, I gave up on on helping the homeless, because what I realized is the homeless in California are transients.
They're not homeless like, do they like they like homeless.
It's a lifestyle of debauchery and and and licentiousness and they sleep around.
And there was this, this one woman.
She was like crawling and it was, you know, like when Gollum was like.
You know, when he was like dying.
Did you ever see, Lord Of The Rings, when Gollum was Uh, or Smeagle whatever, whatever form he was in and he's melting in the fires of Mordor or whatever?
Do you think there'll be some people like get it right before you start and he's reaching out for like the ring still, but he's like dying and he's like I don't know, maybe I can.
I can picture okay, there was a woman and she was doing this and she's like out of a tank, like oh my god, like pulling, going for the ring, and we go to give her a sandwich.
I'm thinking wow, this woman's about to die.
She's insane.
God, we're like the lord loves me.
I'm blessing this woman.
That's not what I was thinking about going, I gotta help this woman.
I had a real, genuine mind.
I'm like i'm gonna help this woman and she was like bologna, like throws this the sandwich, and like she was pissed that I didn't give her a better sandwich, which is like the only worse than that sandwich would have been subway.
Yeah, but subway is disgusting.
Everyone has standards.
If homeless threw subway, if someone, if I gave a homeless person a subway sandwich and they threw it.
I'd be like good job, and that's a test, because you shouldn't take subway, because subway is a poor excuse for a sub, it's like.
It's like one step below quiz no's and that's saying something.
Baloney, is such an American.
Oh, my god, have some bologna.
Yeah, she switched from a black woman in the Fires of Mordor to a stuck up white woman during Pumpkin Spices.
I was starving and you gave me bologna.
I was like, get out of here, I would rather starve.
Yeah, well, that's what she acted like.
She was like, it's like, ma'am, you're dying from gangrene.
You should probably eat this bologna.
But she didn't care.
It's going to die when well, the intern, Matt, who's been helping out recently a lot on the show, he works a lot in Skid Row, and he said they have so much food and stuff down there.
That's not even the problem.
The homeless, really?
Yeah, he goes, they don't even need like food.
They're so well stocked down there.
Like, it's like the homeless are still doing great during the coronavirus.
The people who benefited the most from this were the homeless because they're the ones taking over.
They've taken over the airport.
You saw that?
No.
They took over LAX.
They're living inside the building?
Yes, all outside because no one's flying.
So the homeless and they can't stop them.
So they're setting up encampments in our airport.
I'm not joking.
With LAX, as quiet as it is, it's much easier to see people who are experiencing homelessness.
Some telling us they feel that LAX is one of the safer places to be during the COVID-19 crisis.
Dwayne Lawson says he's called LAX home for nearly a month.
I feel more secure here.
I know that they very much care about everyone's safety.
Oh my God.
Remember at the beach, they were camping around the bonfires?
You saw that?
Yeah, they're taking over public spaces.
It's like we're looking, we're in that Will Smith movie.
What was that movie?
The I Am Legend?
I am Legend.
Yeah.
When they were zombies?
Yeah, and it's like, that's the world we live in.
I am Legend.
But the zombies aren't the coronavirus patients.
It's the transients walking around shooting rocket poop out of their butts, creating tents in LAX, you know, and they're just like, oh, yeah, that's ah.
And they're throwing baloney sandwiches into the street.
You should have been an actor.
You should be an extra in a zombie movie.
I am.
It's called Living in LA, and I do it.
It's my daily life.
Wow, that's awesome.
That's why we moved to the suburbs.
We moved to the suburbs now and we're living here.
But what was really interesting, we couldn't even find a church in LA.
So we thought we met a friend, right?
There's a physical aspect, there's a spiritual aspect that we went to a church one day.
We're like, let's try it out right in the heart of Hollywood.
And we went, beautiful music.
Everyone's so gifted at singing because they're all trying to pursue a career as an artist.
There's thousands of people.
Maybe.
Yes.
And then, you know, afterwards, we meet this young girl.
We go, oh, great.
Like, we're going to make some great Christian friends, you know, to fellowship with and stuff.
She goes, oh, yeah, like, I, you know, I'm in this like HBO series, this movie.
It's about this older man who realizes he's a woman and, you know, is experiencing his sexuality and it's transgender inclusive and blah.
This whole thing, it's so wonderful.
You know, it's so wonderful to be a part of this.
And I was going, didn't you say, I'm in a movie that's someone exploring the trans identity, which is the value that's really important to me.
And we stood there and went like, yeah, I get it.
Trans teachers is really what the hell this entire city needs.
They don't need Jesus.
Screw Jesus Christ.
We don't need him.
Why don't we tell them to cut off their will?
What people can really need is sexual exploration and who am I really?
We don't need like, no, that's just ridiculous to me.
You're unhappy because you're in a class of 75 kids that's full to the brim because there's illegal immigrants inside of it.
You don't have enough money because rent is too expensive.
The city does nothing about it.
And they profit off corrupt deals.
That's why you're unhappy.
No, that's not even also why you're unhappy.
You're also unhappy because you don't know God.
You're lifeless.
You live in a culture that doesn't even believe he's real.
Where does your value come from?
Right.
Where does it do that?
There's like nothing of like substance that comes.
Like, I know we've even said like we could be poor, we could be homeless.
But if we have like purpose of life and things like that, we can still be happy.
But that's why like you see all these people who are rich and they have all these things.
It doesn't make them happy.
They're always committing suicide or doing drugs and things like that.
So everybody knows that money doesn't make you happy.
Obviously, it can bring a lot of great, happy, fun things in.
But ultimately, then, you know, the richest people are committing suicide and on drugs.
Well, and the sexual misconduct is weird here, too, because you have the porn industry that's really big in LA.
And a lot of people I've known so many people that have acted in porn.
I guess they acted.
Maybe they're not acting but acted in porn, worked in porn.
I mean, I at least 20 people that I've been known in my life like fairly well in my life, have been involved to film it.
We yeah, I've been offered three jobs in the porn industry even.
I remember one time when we were seeing if I could just do like get earn a little bit of extra money on Craigslist by doing like an odd job or something.
We were looking in the real job section too.
This wasn't the woman for woman.
Yeah, you were like showing me like okay, this one see how the wording is that's a porn job.
You're gonna show up and they're gonna want you to do porn or do something like this.
And it was just about every second one.
I was like yikes, like how do you like I can see how easy it would be, you know if I was in LA by myself?
And I go, oh yeah, easy girl wanted to.
You know, one hour blah, I got sick, easy money show up and they're like, oh well, this is the job, it's porn film, it act in it, whatever it is.
And you go, oh my gosh, it's like rampant.
We've lived in the last year since you've been here, we had a human trafficking case on our doorstep.
Someone was kidnapped right the first week off our doorstep and then we've talked about this in a previous show.
You were almost kidnapped.
Someone tried to kidnap my wife.
Yes uh, here in the suburb that we live in in, La Right, they literally circled yeah and, and ironically it was like a white van and as it drove past me the first time I was like, oh that I feel like i'm in a movie if the white van comes back, like that's the classic thing.
But then it kept circling and the guy kept looking at me and I was like, oh my gosh, I was walking by myself at night without you and I called you and said, oh my gosh, like you need to come and it would slow down.
And then at one point I was like calling you and like you were running out to to come and meet me on the road and it slowed down and it stopped right there and I was just like pulled over after circling right next to her, and I walked around again.
I saw him far away and then he tried to pull over to grab like to get her.
He pulled over next to her in a white van and then when he saw me, he zoomed off.
Yeah, and they tried to kidnap you.
This is common.
Yeah, he circled around about like five thousand of people go missing, tons of people go missing, especially from from the La area, and it's so densely populated nobody cares.
Life is worth this out.
I went missing.
I am an immigrant.
I have like, I have nothing here I could go off the radar.
Yeah, let's talk to all the predators out there.
This is your time, your best chance.
That's what I had I took.
I was like there's, there's what I want I kidnapped you from.
I already kidnapped you once you can kidnapped for a second time.
Yeah, got her from Australia.
No, so so it's dangerous.
Um, you know, it's down to the bone.
I don't want to get to all of it, but let's get into the real, the real as a man especially, besides the emotional aspect and the damage and the and the practical application.
Um, businesses are hurting.
California is one of the most densely populated business regions, as well as one of the most densely populated areas, as we mentioned earlier.
Uh, there were bailouts by the Small Business Administration, specifically the Pay Tech, paycheck protection program, the Ppp right, which was supposed to allow funds to be released and dispersed to businesses.
Now I applied for that uh, that grant that was to be forgiven, and I got a letter from the Small Business Administration letting me know that the funds ran out in California.
And then the next day I saw our governor make a tweet letting me know that um, they have found 125 million dollars to uh bail out illegal immigrants for 500 per head in household up to a thousand dollars.
Um, so they've.
They couldn't find money to bail out the businesses that literally pay the tax dollars in this state that fund the state.
It's not just private citizens.
The businesses fund a lot of the taxes.
They couldn't find money to bail out or to help compensate the businesses, but they found money to pay undocumented migrants, which is a fancy word for saying people who do not belong here.
And you've had to pay taxes upon the most ridiculous things.
Like in Hollywood, you had built your own little studio, got a little desk in your bedroom at home.
Our whole bedroom had been turned into a studio, and you got taxed on that.
A motion picture tax for having that in my bedroom.
What?
It was a false wall made of two by fours.
It was like, it was embarrassing to even own.
It was like, this is the show.
We did our show.
Embarrassing.
This show still takes place in a utility closet.
But we need to pay taxes on that and on this and on that, on this.
I haven't told them where we are.
That's why I never tell people where this is because they don't know.
I don't pay the motion picture tax.
I've just refused to, I'm not paying it.
Sneaky.
I know.
It's like, oh, I'm sorry, you can't turn on your, this is being filmed on an iPhone right now.
Sorry, you can't use your iPhone in a janitor's closet because you put up cardboard wood on the wall and a poster you borrowed from your friend.
But if you pay me, then I'll say that it's okay.
There's a fake olive tree in the back that belonged to your friend who was supposed to be in their wedding.
I don't even think they ended up abusing it or something.
And it's like, yeah, I'm sorry.
You got to pay a tax on that.
It's like, oh, like there's not even a window.
Right up there, there's not even a window.
It's a piece of paper put up to block the wind from coming and you got to pay a tax.
That's the kind of taxes they tax you on here in the state.
But it's not only that.
There's a 5%.
You have this massive tax for the state.
Then you have franchise feeds, boards fees, payroll taxes.
On top of that, you have gases out of control.
It was averaging before the crash $4 to $5 a gallon.
They didn't do that.
Sorry, didn't they do a really sneaky thing with the gassing where they in the vote, they worded it really confusingly?
Yeah, so if you voted no on the gas tax, you were voting yes on it.
Right.
And if you voted yes, you're voting no.
So it went through and everyone was like, wait, what?
I'm really confused because the wording was really manipulative and true.
Which had a 15 cent or no, it was more than that.
It had a gas tax raise plus no limitations on how much they could raise it in the future.
And they've, and because we're a Democrat supermajority, they've also been ballot harvesting in the state.
So they flipped our last remaining Republican seats blue in Orange County.
And they've just, they're destroying the state.
They messed up.
They told us they were going to give us public transportation up north with the bullet train, a bullet train to Las Vegas.
They failed at that, had to give money back to the federal government.
Well, now they've got to give it to the illegal immigrants because they come first and foremost.
Where did you find $125 million Gavin News?
Where's my money?
Yeah, but where did you find $120?
What do you mean you found $125 million?
You found $125 million?
Where was it hiding?
Oh, I know what it probably was.
It was probably the tax money from the marijuana that you guys made legal that you guys tax it.
No one knows where the hell the tax money's going from the marijuana.
Where's the weed money going?
We've got a lot of potheads in California and nobody knows where the money's going.
There are people in need.
And this is a state that steps up always to support those in need, regardless of status.
Right.
But also, let's end with talking about this freaking mandate going around for the coronavirus.
Right.
Oh, the masks?
Yeah, are we shopping in LA anymore?
No.
We went to a few different stores and out they had police and signs that said, you are not allowed to come into the store unless you've got a mask.
There's security guards and police out in front of stores, not letting you into malls or anything.
Yeah.
Even that's essential unless you have a mask.
So we said, not today.
And you're not having our business.
And we drove to the next, we drove to Orange County.
We drove to the next county.
Even though everyone was still wearing masks inside.
You're not going to tell me to wear a mask.
It's silly.
Everyone who hates me for that, you're going to find out I wasn't wrong.
Because you know why?
I'm following the stats.
I'm following statistics and I'm watching the truth.
And the truth is that this is, there's something a lot deeper going on.
And I'm not blaming Bill Gates.
I don't know.
But if everyone else is wearing masks, why should we?
because they're not breathing on us, we're not breathing on them.
So they'll be fine.
And everyone's wearing masks without covering their nose.
I know we saw these kids and their nose is just like this and they're all rocking around.
You go, dude.
People are wiping their eyes.
They're like, they're like doing this.
They're moving their masks going and putting their masks on.
You're like, dude, you guys are stupid, but also I get it because you live in LA and we have one of the worst education systems locally.
And hold on.
So that makes sense.
Also, I just remember only a couple weeks ago where Instagram was just people crying, nurses, all this.
It was just this whole big thing like, stop taking the masks, leave them for the, we don't have any masks at the hospitals.
We don't, the nurses, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And it was this whole big drama of please don't take masks.
We don't have any at the hospitals and we need them.
And now all of a sudden everyone needs to wear masks.
And I go.
It's tyrant.
So what happened to the nurses?
Like all of a sudden, our settlement.
That's why I use a social distancing stick.
So I get a, like, I do this, you know, and I can make sure, like, okay, like, whenever I talk, whenever we talk, we keep this distance.
But then if I'm feeling a little bit frisky with her, it just, wait, it collapses.
So I can slowly bring her in.
You know what I'm saying?
But at least we always keep, we keep at least one of these.
At least.
We haven't kissed in weeks.
No.
That's not even due to the coronavirus.
Just kidding.
No, but it's like, it's like everything comes down to it.
So then we look, we look at moving and what we've decided is we're moving to Texas.
We're moving to the Dallas area.
I'm not saying that's not the same.
I said we live in Dallas.
What's up?
Yeah, we're saving our money saving the taxes.
But in the end, I'm leaving for good.
I am so tired of living here.
I can't do it anymore.
People ask me, what about the protests and stuff?
Well, you know what?
This is a good point to say this.
If you go to blazetv.com slash slightly offensive and you use the code Elijah, you get the best price ever right now for 69 bucks for a whole year of all of our content, extended content.
You get everybody else they have to offer.
And if you just check them out, you'll see they have great people.
They have some great big people like Mark Levin or Glenn Beck or Steven Crowder that everybody knows.
But there's also some like lesser known people that are still great.
And it's not about their bigness, right?
You have like Chad Praser has amazing comedy on there.
You have Sarah Gonzalez and her show, The News and Why It Matters.
You have our show.
You have Roaming Millennial and different people that are just, and there's a lot, lot more that aren't even mentioned, including we have the Duck Dynasty people that are on there.
We have Duck Dynasty's on Blaze TV.
It's weird, but that's cool.
All sorts of things.
Duck Commander.
We should get Duck Commander on the show.
Yeah, that'll be a good one.
But anyway, go to Blazetv.com slash slightly offensive in the link in the description and put in the code Elijah.
Support us also by supporting Blaze TV.
Either support the coffee company, blackriflecoffee.com slash offensive, or support Blaze TV and get the extended content.
Both are really great ways to support this show, everybody else, and keep free speech going.
I've been waiting for the world to spin my way.
I've been waiting for a glance at the sun.
And I've been waiting for the world to spin my way.
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