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Oct. 24, 2018 - Slightly Offensive - Elijah Schaffer
10:20
The Crazy Weird World of POLITICON

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Participants
Appearances
e
elijah schaffer
03:49
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Speaker Time Text
elijah schaffer
It's me, Rachel, just here in my cup of tea, reporting about life and whatever else we talk about on our show.
Rachel's not my cup of tea, but I love her.
I love young boy lesbian-looking people.
It's beautiful.
unidentified
My name is Paul.
elijah schaffer
Paul, and so what is it that you're hoping to get out of Politicon this year?
unidentified
I am hoping to get a better perspective on absolutely worthless information.
We are actually in the wrong 2018.
We're not supposed to be here.
We're supposed to be on a different timeline.
elijah schaffer
What's the timeline that we're supposed to be on?
unidentified
Well, the one that Trump is not the president on.
elijah schaffer
Hello, is this cultural appropriation?
unidentified
I'm not sure.
What do you mean by cultural appropriation?
elijah schaffer
Like an Indian stick?
unidentified
Well, basically, they're shaman spheres.
I've been there myself.
They're for channeling energy.
They have copper coils, sand, and sand from sacred places around the world and crystal chips down the insides.
I was raised by quantum touch energy healers and shamans, so I know how to work with energy.
elijah schaffer
How do we fix it?
unidentified
Well, we're working on that, brother.
We're working on it together.
How do you think we can fix it?
How do you think we can fix it?
elijah schaffer
Crystals?
unidentified
Well, there was that shaman spear lady over there.
Did you run it?
elijah schaffer
She unleashed my root chakras.
unidentified
Did she?
elijah schaffer
I don't even know what that means, but she did it.
unidentified
You're here.
elijah schaffer
All right.
unidentified
So what I was here is a clockwise motion over each chakra, and it just opens up the energy, kind of clears it out a little bit.
And then it should be a little more clear.
elijah schaffer
Do you feel like the media is honest in this generation?
unidentified
Some of it is, yeah.
elijah schaffer
And which parts are not honest?
unidentified
Well, any Fox News network commentator is not honest.
Oh, maybe I should go check that out because everything matters.
Everything matters, but some things that we can do matter more than other things.
I am not trained to judge how much her approach matters, but she's a master level energy manipulator.
Oh, well, then I will definitely have to go talk to her because I have tried crystals in here.
elijah schaffer
How do you work with energy?
unidentified
Well, basically, I'm a quantum touch energy healer.
So what I do is I send energy to people so that they are able to heal themselves.
So it's just kind of on a vibrational level.
You know, everything is energy.
elijah schaffer
Remember, it's the crystals.
The crystals.
unidentified
Well, I don't know about that yet, but you know, it's something.
elijah schaffer
We're going to get to the real one.
We're going to get to something because the answer is to get rid of Donald Trump.
unidentified
Amen.
elijah schaffer
And what are your opinions on Donald Trump?
unidentified
I loathe him.
elijah schaffer
You love him?
unidentified
No, I loathe him.
elijah schaffer
Oh, sorry.
unidentified
How dare you, as an American, say fill the wall!
Mom mentality that volume is mom mentality, blame liberals for not being proud Americans.
Walls will not work.
Walls will not work as they ask.
Why you're helping divide the nation, man.
Your white privilege.
Look, give up your white privilege.
I'm proud.
I have never, never.
Hey, man.
Build that wall.
Oh, yeah.
elijah schaffer
What are you doing?
I am goat versus fish.
unidentified
Yes, and it is the verses of goat and fish.
And there are so many that are here that they are versesing about so many other things that are not goat or fish.
I am here to tell them that it is goat versus fish.
elijah schaffer
And what is it particularly that he's done that you despise?
unidentified
Just about everything.
elijah schaffer
Anything in particular that stands out?
unidentified
I'm concerned about his Nazi sympathetic aspect and his complete nonsensical approach to politics and his racism and his misogyny and his lack of knowledge and lack of understanding of anything.
elijah schaffer
Those are textbook answers right there if I ever heard them.
What's your favorite news media outlet?
unidentified
Oh, probably MSNBC.
elijah schaffer
I would expect that's awesome.
unidentified
You got destroyed last year by Annika Sparring.
elijah schaffer
Kyle Kalistiki would destroy you this year.
unidentified
That's why you won't debate.
elijah schaffer
You got her.
He got her.
He got her.
unidentified
Why do you feel the need to lie?
Why do you feel the need to lie about no one being willing to debate you?
elijah schaffer
Oh, he got her.
unidentified
He got her.
elijah schaffer
I'm just kidding.
unidentified
I had to stand up for conservative values, and I want to make sure that people understand that we're not all racist bigot homohobes who hate the poor.
elijah schaffer
It depends on who you ask.
They might say that you're quite wrong.
How can you prove that?
unidentified
Well, basically, civil discourse.
elijah schaffer
People are still doing that these days.
unidentified
Some people actually are.
elijah schaffer
MSNBC, besides offering us free opinions that we never called for, asked for, or wanted to hear, has decided to offer us some free coffee.
So obviously the most American thing you could do other than maybe protest untrue media outlets is take free coffee from them because I'm an American and we like free stuff.
Your shirt here says Christians Against Trump.
Can you explain that one?
unidentified
Yeah, well, we believe that as Christians, we need to be espousing and standing by the principles of Jesus Christ.
And Trump does not inhabit any of the principles and values of Jesus Christ.
I'm Elizabeth Warren's cousin.
elijah schaffer
Ah, so you obviously, because you're a cousin, you follow the same kind of logic as she does?
unidentified
Well, yeah, we're right about everything and we're Native American.
elijah schaffer
Yeah, and that's the cool thing is I believe you because you said it.
unidentified
Well, there's a lot of oppression in the world.
There's a lot of bigotry.
There's a lot of racism.
There's a lot of hatred.
And the way to stop that is by voting for Democrats and taking your taxpayer dollars and giving them to my family.
elijah schaffer
Hey guys, this is Kevin DeLeon, the idiot politician who famously said, this is a ghost gun.
This right here has the ability with a 30 caliber clip to disperse with 30 bullets within half a second.
30 magazine clip in half a second.
Kevin DeLeon talking about why he's intelligent.
Some good stuff right here.
Who voted him in?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Alexandria the Great, very good.
Socialism's good.
William presidents of the future because it's very good to elect presidents based off of physical appearance.
It's a genius idea.
I mean, maybe we should start just voting presidents in because the color of their skin too.
That might be good.
So are you Muslim yourself?
unidentified
Yes.
elijah schaffer
Constitution over Sharia?
unidentified
No.
No, no.
elijah schaffer
Should local communities be allowed to judge themselves through Sharia beyond the judicial court systems in the United States as some people are protesting or requesting?
unidentified
Oh, I was not aware.
But I mean, independently, I would say people should use their law how they want.
elijah schaffer
So guys, I know they said that the Nazis weren't going to get here to Politicon, but we have the white power booth over here, WP.
It's the Washington Post, look.
Is that something?
Are we...
Are we on to something?
Washington Post is short acronym WP, which is also the acronym of white power.
It's possible, guys.
In this day and age, anything is true.
As long as you just publish it and then cite your own publishing as credibility.
That's how it works.
You just get the press, right, to report something and then you report the press.
That's what Nats Pelosi said.
unidentified
It's true.
Women have a right to choose, but it's okay to have some regulations in place also.
elijah schaffer
Do you think Jesus would condone abortion?
unidentified
Jesus didn't talk about abortion, actually, but he talked about little children, and I know he'd be against children in cages.
elijah schaffer
So, what we have here is Will Witt from Prager U is actually secretly a Democrat.
He's here in the empathy circle.
You see him here?
Look at this.
He's shaking hands.
He's in disguise and it's really hard to watch, but we love him regardless and we'll be praying for him.
unidentified
Let's find your Twitter again by then.
So you must have had to say something very, very threatening.
elijah schaffer
I really don't know.
unidentified
I've never threatened anybody off with it.
I'm black people unless they send me threats.
What is it?
What is this weird man?
Let's talk about what the Democrats and Muslim Obama haven't done for our black American race and our black American children.
Do you know there's black people jumping out of buildings on skit row?
Do you know they're living with rats and roaches?
elijah schaffer
Great stuff, guys.
Spliticon 2018, sorry, blocking the way.
You can get through, man.
I let Asians pass.
I'm not racist.
It's okay, you can pass, man.
It's true.
But you won't get a pass if you apply for Harvard, sir, because they discriminate against Asians.
unidentified
We're the empty tent.
So we're from Berkeley.
elijah schaffer
Oh, awesome.
unidentified
It's a rules-based dialogue process.
I speak, you listen, you have to say back to me what I said.
The idea is that the other person that you're speaking to reflects back their understanding of what you have to say.
I feel that I was watching Gray's Anatomy yesterday, and I feel that there should be more Filipino nurses represented in Gray's Anatomy because there was only one, even though, you know, Filipino nurses make up more.
They make up a lot of the nursing population, especially in Seattle and in big city centers like LA and stuff.
So you were watching Gray's Anatomy, and you felt that what they were portraying there, there was like one Filipino nurse, and that's not your experience in real life.
And there are a lot of Filipino nurses, and you would like to see that more accurately represented because, you know, it's obviously a core value, it feels like you're saying, of that culture.
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