Tim talks with comedian Trevor Wallace about influencers in the military, the suburbs, what kids are being taught in preschool, saving Hollywood and the new Nickelodeon abuse documentary.American Royalty Tour🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/SPONSORS:RobinhoodGet Started At Robinhood.com/BoostMorgan & MorganFor more information go to forthepeople.com/timFactorUse Code: TimD50 At FACTORMEALS.com/timd50 To Get 50% off!▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillonListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShowMerch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
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Young Men and Social Content00:11:27
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.
Trevor Wallace is with us.
Trevor, there's an epidemic of young white men unaliving themselves.
Is there?
There is.
Does your art speak to that?
Do people make them want to jump in unalive themselves?
What is your art?
What do you have for them?
Like the what young white men that are about to kill themselves.
You do a lot of social content.
I'm sure they've seen it, or they can get to it rather easily.
What do you have for them?
What?
Because they're taking themselves out at a crazy clip.
And I'm saying unalive, unalive.
Do you understand?
What do you have for them?
I have a ring light so they can monetize their unaliving.
Okay.
So I can help at least have good lighting for them.
I didn't know.
What are they doing it on?
What platform?
Yes.
It's a great question.
Twitch, Venmo.
What are we doing?
No, they're what?
What are they doing it on?
Like, how are they doing it?
Yeah.
Great question.
Isn't it pills or something?
These kids always take the easy way out.
But I don't know.
But they chase it down with a prime.
It is an epidemic.
Yeah.
People are, they want out.
Help is available.
We used to call when I was a kid.
We used to call the National Runaway Switchboard and I would do prank phone calls and I would call them and I would say, hey, I would call, and all my friends would sit around.
It would be really funny.
I'd go, hey, my parents kicked me out and I don't have anything.
And they'd be like, all right, there's a shelter you can go to.
And then they'd explain to me where the shelter was.
And I'd go, you know, it would be in New York.
They'd be like, it's right on like 43rd.
I'd be like, do you have anything by the park?
I don't really.
And quick as soon as possible.
I'm like, in the background, I just want to be by the park.
I know I'm homeless, but please.
Specifically, firearms and hanging suffocation.
This is what, but we've got it's and what made me bring this up first is because you are a young white man.
How old are you now?
31.
Wow, you're getting up there.
Yeah, I'm out of Leo's age.
Yeah, you're a you're a but you're youthful.
I am.
Yeah.
Now, what, what, what is why are these kids checking out these young dudes?
Well, I think they get all their dopamine too early on.
You're 24.
You go viral already.
You get head in your Miata and you're like, well, I've done it all.
Yeah.
I wake up a lot of days and go, what else do I need to do?
You might have a rough back nine, right?
Do you ever think about that?
Because you've had a really good front nine.
Do you ever think about the back nine?
Like Dad in the Valley and stuff?
Yeah.
Dark.
You're just fucking randos and they start out really hot, but then it gets worse.
You start knocking up Winnie Cummings.
Oh my God.
Well, I don't know because I mean that'd be rough.
You got to get a wife and a kid and lock it down.
That's what I need.
That's what I need.
But it could be also a fun, dark.
You think getting into Coke in the Valley, maybe?
There's nothing to do on cocaine out there.
You know what I mean?
I know, but there's some I see a very interesting side of you where it gets real dark.
You know what I mean?
But it gets really interesting.
You know what I mean?
Like, we're like, somebody, like, you're drunk and you're in, like, I don't know, what?
Winchells.
You know that place?
Winchell's?
It's a donut place.
And you're there and you're drinking coffee.
And a couple of guys run up to you.
They're like, bro, you're the fucking dude.
And you're like, get away from me.
I splash the coffee in their eyes.
Splash the coffee in their eyes.
When did you start going viral?
You've been like...
Probably like six years ago.
And okay, so you were like 20.
So I'm on hole number six right now.
Yeah.
So I got about three more years of woo and then it goes don't dent.
Right.
Yeah.
What happens to these guys like David Dobrik?
What happens to them?
Where do they go?
I don't know.
You kind of just slowly disappear.
You may have to go.
He opened a pizzeria.
That guy was going to have it all.
He was going to have it all.
That guy was going to have it all.
And now he's slinging pizza on Sunset Boulevard.
Yeah.
Ooh.
And by the way, I like, I like him.
He came to my house.
He's a sweetheart of a guy.
I have nothing negative to say about him other than it's a cruel thing because he was going to be like the guy.
And I don't know how old he is.
I think he's somewhere around my age, but you're 65 years old.
Yes.
Right, right.
David Dobrik is 65 years old.
Right.
He's the same as like the Annie Milnakis kind of effect thing.
But I think you just hit this dopamine so quick, you're like, I don't know what else to do.
I had a special come out last year and I'm like, okay, now what?
Like, I think that was a good idea.
So if you've been most people killing themselves unaliving, well, we're minutes in now.
I can say that, right?
I just hit five minutes.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, time to say it.
Do you think most people unaliving themselves have had specials on Amazon?
That's probably not the case.
Maybe Quibby.
I don't know.
Or CISO.
I think, I think these people are, they, for whatever reason, they just don't feel like there's hope for a better future.
And it's sad to me.
Do influencers do it?
Yeah, sometimes they do.
Well, this Army veteran chick in January did.
She was like an army influencer.
Who cares?
That's not even a real thing.
That's not a real thing.
Army influencers aren't even real.
Just go and fight.
I don't want to hear nothing from the army influencers.
Go and get the gun and fight.
We can't merge the most important thing and the most ridiculous thing.
But don't you think you're seeing Tana Mongeau out there with an AK-47 in the Ukraine, even though they'd be some nice OnlyFans photos?
But don't you think if you're going to attack the U.S. and you see our American soldiers doing the renegade with ring lights and they're doing brand deals for weird keto sugar-free gummies, would you not attack them?
He goes, they're already sick in the head.
No, it's true.
I mean, listen, the problem with, you know, what I regard as an influencer is like, there's nothing for here's what I think of an influencer.
I think of an influencer as like almost the closest we have to AI.
Okay.
Okay.
Meaning like going from like a great actor to AI might be like, that's a little bit of a jump.
Going from a great athlete to AI, but going from one of these very generic people who has no personality, whose entire life is a conduit to just sell crap on the internet.
What is the real difference between them and artificial intelligence?
Almost AI influencers.
And there's ones with like 500 or like 500K followers.
And people follow and they have OnlyFans and people like subscribe because that's what blows my mind.
They're simping over somebody that doesn't even exist.
Yep.
There's no...
That's like the OG one.
Okay, right.
But guess what?
I've met some of the real versions of this.
They don't exist.
Do you understand what I mean?
They don't really exist.
Yeah.
That is true.
Lights on.
No, Dave.
I'm not going to mention these girls.
Do it.
I'm not going to mention who these girls are because every day I go on the internet on my Instagram.
And I actually like these girls.
I like these girls a lot.
And because they hawk products, okay?
And they're racist.
And that's why, and I find that refreshing in a time when no one is.
Everyone's like, no, these girls are a little bit like, But every day they're like, they're like, they're like, people ask me about my skincare.
This is what they do every day on the internet.
They go, people ask me about my skincare.
So I've decided to share with you.
I've decided to, like, they're doing like a good thing.
Like, I've actually decided to let my secret leak and talk about my skincare.
And they do a thing.
And nobody asked.
No one.
And then, but the next day, it's something else.
It's like a lot of people have been noticing my hair, my natural shine.
Yeah.
I love those.
When they say, like, for those of you asking me where my dress is from, nobody was asking.
Nobody cares.
There wasn't one DN that was like, where is that dress from?
Where is that from?
So to me, I think the influencers are the last vestige of trying to do it with humans.
And then why not?
Why not go and just replace everybody with a good program?
I'm in.
Right?
I'm in.
What's the...
Have you ever jerked off to a AI porn?
I wouldn't, but I haven't, but I will.
No, but there's time.
It's time.
Yeah, I'd say.
No, it's time to do AI porn for sure.
I also think my brain of what I like changes so much.
It's like, oh, I'm an ass man.
I'm a tits guy.
So I can always just change that on AI and see what I want.
Maybe 1,000%.
What about trans people?
Do you have sex with trans people?
I have not, but I was in Amsterdam.
Why is that so funny?
I saw the Blue Light District in Amsterdam.
There's a lot of that.
Straight men, of which you are one, a huge, they're getting really into it.
A lot of them.
Like a Diddy type thing?
No, Diddy seems to be a closeted gay billionaire mogul kind of a sadomasochist rape guy.
I don't mean that per se.
What I mean is like a straight guy is they're starting to have sex with trans people.
I have not.
I don't think I'm at that level of fame yet.
I think once I hit a certain point where are you against it if she has the parts down there?
No, I'm with it.
Right.
It's just the homies.
Just boys hanging out.
That's right.
That's right.
Do you ever, do you ever think about like a trans like because the way I think about it is like this new way that we're all supposed to regard everything is about gender, right?
It is interesting to me like that gay now means you can have sex with women as long as they used to be dudes.
Oh.
It's weird.
The loophole and the Venn diagram now has gotten so crazy that it's just a big circle of.
Yeah, that is true.
It's weird because they're like, gay, they won't define gay anymore as a man who has attraction to the same sex.
They'll say the same gender.
You could have two of them taken up.
You used to be men.
That's correct.
Whoa.
So it's like now it's not commonly, it's not, it doesn't refer.
That's not the right thing.
That's just so funny.
She says, what is gay now?
He just types one word in, but it has nothing to do with anything.
Every day somebody types out, what is gay now?
Yeah.
Am I gay now?
Yeah, because it's so big that eventually you will be gay.
You will be gay.
You will be having sex with your wife on your wedding night.
And that will be one of the characteristics of a gay man.
You'll see a video from me one day says, get ready with me to be gay today.
That's right.
And I'll be blowing a man.
Yeah.
Isn't everyone queer kind of?
Not that it's true, but like, aren't they saying now that everyone's kind of like that young kids, they do these polls and it's like, it comes back that they're all like queer.
Oh, like a 23andMe type thing?
Kind of, yeah.
They go to these schools and they're like, do you want the climbing to get better?
And they're like, yeah.
And they're like, you're queer.
It is just like, that's what it is.
They go to different schools and they ask.
Gay Man Wedding Night Video00:11:25
By the way, can you get up the photo on my Instagram of what they did to my godson the other day?
My godson goes to a school, a Montessori school.
My godson goes to school, which I pay for.
This is why I'm outraged about it.
Oh, it was on my story.
It was on my story.
I didn't put it up.
I'm going to send you a picture right now.
I want you to put it up and I want you to show everybody because this was literally crazy.
This was crazy that they did this.
So I'm texting it to you and then you can.
And Howard's a godson?
He's three.
Okay.
He's Chinese.
Get him on the internet.
He's really Filipino, but he's a little Chinese.
So we're trying to get him to lean into that.
Okay.
Okay.
Look at this.
What is this?
Make this bigger.
At my godson's school, they did, I swear to God, give an indigenous woman an abortion for free day.
Do you understand this?
Why I don't like this?
What's happening now with the kids?
They had Indigenous women that dolls that needed abortions.
And they went up to him.
And here's the way the class works.
If you do well the day before and you get like a lot of gold stars, this is how they reward the kids.
You get to be the abortion doctor.
All the kids in the class want to be the abortion doctor.
When you want to do bad.
I want to be when you, when you do bad, you're not allowed to be the abortion doctor.
Okay.
You just, you sit in the back and you watch, you observe.
Okay.
Now, he got to be the abortion doctor.
Now, a little part of me was proud that he did get to be the abortion doctor.
He looks good.
He looks like he doesn't know what he's doing.
No, he knows what he's doing.
What happened to dissecting frogs?
That's what we were doing to say.
Well, this is crazy.
So they hand out these Indigenous dolls because they go, white women don't deserve to get abortions for free.
They should pay for their abortion or have their colonizer pay for it.
So what he does is this is an indigenous mestizo woman.
I don't know what that means.
I think it's Mexican with some other things involved.
Now, she needs an abortion and she's going to get it for free because she should not have to bring up a child in this white supremacy.
Good.
All right, get that out of here.
But that's my godson being the abortion doctor at his.
And this is pre-K?
This is pre-kindergarten?
I don't know.
What's a three-year-old go to?
College?
I think at this point, yeah.
Good.
I think that's good.
I think they should have instilled that right out of birth.
Second you're out the womb, here's a scalpel.
Figure it out.
You think your life takes a real turn?
You think your career takes a real turn if you start dating a 350-pound black woman?
Do I?
Yeah.
Big, big black lady.
Big girl.
Yeah.
Black woman.
I think it would be great.
Because what's your next thing?
Like, what do you want to do?
What's next for you?
That's a great question.
That's what people in the audience are asking.
Do abortions.
Yeah.
I mean.
I mean, I want to sell a show, but like you're going through this.
It's so much bullshit.
You talk to one guy and they nod their head and go, yeah, it sounds great.
We're going to go ahead and CC my assistant.
We're launching a show forever called I Love Hitler.
And it's, and no one will tell, and here's what it is.
We bring on different people to say what they liked about Hitler.
Now, no, and I'm telling you right now, no one will make this show.
He's no different than the motivational guys you see.
How would your life change if you had a show?
You're already famous.
Just getting something to do.
People, the porn stars love you.
You're on whatever.
What is it?
What is the app that you are on?
You're huge on Danny's government.
Well, that's about to be gone anyway.
Zap or Jim Jam.
You're on all of them.
Yes.
People love you.
The kids love you.
You have, you know, what you have like an army of 15-year-olds that follow you that you could get to do anything, really.
Yeah, we could really fuck up the capital if we want.
You could go nut.
You should have a Trevor Wallace Capital Riot where it's just little like hype beast 12-year-olds or whoever's out there.
Sponsored by Feastables by Mr. Beast.
Yes, yes.
You bring the Mr. Beast.
Is giving them all little burgers and they're all just posing.
And you know I mean that's.
Are your fans young?
Do you?
Do you because some of the people in comedy, because their fans are minors, also have sex with the minors?
Do you're all of age?
They're all sadly, 24 and up.
You know 24, 24 to 35.
Yeah, when I look out in the audience it's a lot of like college or Post-colonial Trevor.
There's 35.
They're nine.
Yeah my, my audience is a lot of married people together, four nine year olds stacked up with a hat.
There's nobody got to that 35, but yes, it's a bunch of 10 year olds stacked up with a hat.
If you want to be technical okay, you put them together.
They're quote, 30.
You have the best audience because young people share everything.
My audience is their felons.
They're dying.
Oh yeah, I sat in a crowd with them in the beacon.
Yeah, I mean these individual men, solo men, solo men.
Yeah well, those are the men that are going to change the world.
That's really what it is.
That's the reality.
Nobody wants to hear that.
Probably gonna be in a FOX article for changing it for the wrong reason.
I mean listen, we men.
But here's the thing, if you're a good comedian, you have a male fan base.
Oh, that's a good point, and and and.
But that's the reality.
Now, that doesn't mean that good comedians don't have female fan bases.
But women, by and large, are not connoisseurs of great comedy, correct?
They're just not.
They're great, I love them I, I love them, I love that they're around all the time, but they're not always connoisseurs of great comedy because it's not a big deal in their life, right?
Do women love comedy, like when they're like 15?
Is that what they love?
I mean, I know we're supposed to lie about everything, but do women like, really get off on comedy when they're young?
No, I think they watch for a little bit and they're like, okay, I saw 10 minutes, I get the gist of stand-up right.
80 more minutes of this?
We don't really need that.
Women are emotionally mature.
They're doing other things right.
Yeah, they start talking, they get, they order a fishbowl at some crazy.
I'm getting more women fans now, which is great and and I like them and I welcome them.
But I I do.
An audience needs a balance because women, oh for sure, the more women laugh, the harder a guy will laugh, because every guy's like, well, why is my girlfriend laughing at him?
I'm funnier than him, i'm bigger than him.
So guys feel intimidated by if the girl's laughing too much.
But if it's just all guys, it's like this weird.
Like yeah, alpha laugh like oh, we don't want all guys, we want women, we want a mix.
Yeah, we want a mix.
Yeah, you want, you had a good mix.
When I said we have a mix, I mean women come.
Women aren't.
Women will buy the boyfriend's tickets.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
The only and and who listens to the show?
What's the demographic to the show?
80 male.
And here's why, because it's an intelligent show.
This is the truth.
I i'm not trying to.
Most women don't care about anything other than getting married and having babies.
There's nothing wrong with that and that's the way they should, what they should care and, by the way, that's what they should care about, right or they listen to some other thing, meaning like they love dating podcasts, because dating is a big part of getting getting a partner, selecting a partner.
Carrying on your genes it's a big deal.
I don't offer a ton of that for women.
You know, it's a, it's a gay, i'm a gay guy.
It's kind of a socio-political cultural show.
So the women that listen to this have brains.
And it's about nine, it's about 9.8 percent of the pot.
That's correct.
Oh, but that 0.7 user unspecified yeah, that is interesting.
Who is that?
Who is that?
That's non-binary.
I have radical non-binaries.
I have radical non-binaries.
When you look out at your crowd, you go yeah, that checks out.
Or you're like, oh cool, It's very surprising.
It varies from place to place, but I think it checks out because it's people that like dark comedy.
It's people that like fucked up shit.
And there are a ton of women there.
But, you know, I mean, I think it checks out.
I mean, it checks out.
It can get wild.
People can get crazy.
People can get, people bring their own things to it, their own, you know.
When we talk about the shit I talk about, people get, people get intense.
People grab you sometimes.
But then we also have weird like CEO people that listen.
We have like high-level people that listen.
Yeah.
Well, I think it's because obviously you say the stuff that they can't say at work.
So you're like the voice of reason for them.
They put little apples.
They're pod pros in and listen and be like, you're the voice of reason, but it's like, that's crazy.
I would say you are.
Because I think you play both sides.
You know, all things political.
And then you're also yelling about, like you said, like the Tana Mojos of the world.
Yes.
That's where I am.
You've always been a big fan of mine.
That's very nice of you.
I love the show.
And that's why as a guest, I want to shut the fuck up most of the time because I love listening to you yell.
You're like, I, and I, I really like what you are able to do with the videos and how much you put out and how good it is is wild.
Thank you.
It's wild the amount of it.
I delighted with how much I posted.
No, but it's, dude, you're able to keep putting out good shit and you do it really, you know what I mean?
Yeah, on a high level.
It's crazy.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I mean, that's what it really is.
Blaustein's doing amazing.
Blau's doing great.
The podcast is doing.
The podcast is so funny because both of our careers are taking off podcasts.
Like, yeah, this is chill.
Stiff Socks, you know what?
We're doing it.
It's cool.
But, but yeah, we're both touring our dicks off right now, which is great.
A lot of fun.
Do you guys ever think of like having a threesome with a trans person on, you know what I mean?
Like Patreon or just like Maine for the moment.
Paywall it.
Yeah, that was on the agenda, right?
Well, it's a very broy show, right?
That's kind of the thing.
Stiff Socks is like, because when you wipe cum off with a sock and gets.
So do you ever think of like next leveling it?
Yeah, we think about that a lot.
You know, we're like, what's what's going to move the needle?
Is it a Hezbollah interview or are we doing threesomes behind a paywall?
Yeah.
I think it's the second one.
Yeah.
What do you think about these influences?
You know all of these people.
Yeah.
What do you, what's your take on them?
They're all really normal, but it's when they go home, that's the side I want to see.
I want to look through a window and see what are they doing at midnight?
What are they watching?
What are they wiping the tears up with?
Because I think in person, all of us are like, hey, what's up?
Very like social.
Good to see you.
This and that.
It's like we just had Josh Richards on the other day.
The nicest guy.
He's funny.
Very nice.
He's very intellectual.
Very smart.
He's very intellectual.
Yeah.
He's actually an intellectual for 22.
I don't know him at all.
He's a sweet guy, but let's just explore that.
He's an intellectual.
Josh Richards is an intellectual.
That's just what you said.
By the way, sweetheart.
You said buzzwords.
Yeah.
I went to dinner with him.
He had one sentence.
He was like, the calamari is fire.
And then he's starting on his phone looking at pussy, which is what I would do if I was his.
But like, it's interesting that he's an intellectual.
It's very interesting.
I heard a talk he gave.
Him and John Mearsheimer debated the Ukraine.
John Mearsheimer, of course, is the power politics guy.
He wrote, John Mearsheimer is very much, he's a political scientist, but his whole thing is the way the great powers interact with each other.
And he talks a lot about Russia and the Ukraine and spheres of influence and such.
And Josh Richards.
And they had a debate.
And it was interesting because Richards had the NATO point of view, kind of more that, you know, freewheeling State Department fucking, and I loved it.
No, I'm kidding.
I think he's a great kid.
God bless him.
What is the point of being an intellectual?
Almost nothing, right?
Yeah, just so you can tell me.
What is the point of knowing things?
It's the same person that says, I read in this book, I heard in this podcast.
John Mearsheimer Ukraine Debate00:02:10
Right.
People who start sentences, well, actually, it's just so you can insert your own opinion to make it about you.
You're from Camarillo.
Camarillo, California.
It's disgusting.
I drive through a tech.
I spend a lot of time in Montecito.
Yes.
Do you know what that is?
I do.
It's like Santa Barbara, but that is.
More Illuminati, more rich.
So I like Montecito a lot.
So as I drive to Montecito, I drive through Camarilla, my hometown.
And it's interesting.
It's like, what is it?
I don't know.
No one knows.
It's like it's 20 minutes from the beach.
Do you see an outlet mall?
No.
I was smoking weed.
Why not surf?
I was smoking weed in eighth grade.
I was the worst version of surfing.
I was skimboard, which is even more pussy.
Yeah.
Even gay guys would look at me and be like, gay?
I was skimboarding, but we would do it like where the funny part is, I would try to justify it.
We would do it into the waves, not on like the surface.
So there was like, it was like a mini surfboard, but that's what we would do.
We'd do that and we'd smoke weed and then blame our red eyes on the ocean.
It's got to be a great way to grow up, though.
Long Island's a great way to grow up.
It's a great lifestyle to be a young kid smoking weed.
Yeah, we had an outlet mall, a donut shop where it used to, you could show your tits and get free donuts.
That was a rolling pin.
That was kind of, they got in trouble for that.
I'm sure they did.
I think they should bring it back.
Yeah, but like now there's probably a guy that's like looking around.
He's like, all right, we'll see you next time.
Yeah, we'll do a nip.
Yeah, we'll do one nip slip.
Nipslip for a donut hole.
I like this Camarillo.
It's fun.
It's really just a Chad J. Do you want to live in LA forever?
I just sold my house.
Oh, you sold it?
I sold it.
Yeah.
Congrats.
Yeah, I got full price for it.
Yeah, I want to.
Where are you off to?
I don't know.
I never know.
That's fun.
I never know.
I'm going to be in the Hamptons for the summer.
And I love New York.
I love New York in the fall.
And then we're going to, I'm in LA a lot.
I'll always be here a lot.
I don't need to own anything here at the moment.
I don't know.
I don't know where it's going.
It was a gorgeous home.
It was a very pretty home.
Yeah.
It's a great home.
The issues in that area are the geology.
Oh.
The mudslides.
Was it?
All of that stuff.
Yeah.
Your area got hit?
Bad.
Yeah.
Well, it's the hills.
They always get hit.
God, that's so interesting.
The climate is changing.
It's raining more.
It's getting weird.
And let's be honest, the town just isn't what it was.
Hamptons Summer Estate Plans00:02:06
It doesn't have a great buzz to it.
It doesn't have a great buzz.
I drive down Sunset and I go, there's so many billboards for so little people.
People are not here the way they used to be.
We were talking about archetypes of people because you know what makes a town people?
I've always said that.
That the town is made by the people.
Yeah.
The people that used to run this town were cocaine addicts.
They were psychopaths.
It's a guy in a Porsche.
He's a power agent.
He's screaming at his assistant.
He's making money.
You can't do any of that anymore.
Our agents are fat pigs.
They're in cells.
They're fucking weird.
They can only come if their wife's pegging them.
Yeah, sweaty palms.
They're sweaty palms.
They're all autistic.
None of them are cool anymore.
What happened?
They all left it.
All of the, look at this.
Look at this crop of losers.
I mean, I mean, I got to be honest.
Look at this crop.
What agency?
Fucking losers.
It's a bunch of losers.
And here's the deal.
This is fitting that this is the last generation of losers that will ever represent people because here's what's happening.
All of that archetype of personality, the guy that I talked about on the phone, fuck you.
The lunch is at three.
They're all in Miami trading Bitcoin.
They're out of the entertainment bit.
They left because it's no longer a business for people with balls or people that want to make lots of money.
It's become a business of purported intellectuals, people that graduate school, they don't know what to do, they have some shitty degree, and they come here and they know corporate speak and they know how to sound good, they like office politics.
So you don't get those big risk takers anymore that were like Nick Mullen always talks about this producer and his name escapes me.
He's this mega producer.
And the guy was just coke and taking big risks.
Big, big wins in the movie industry.
Used to be able to make a lot of money with a risk.
Now everything is so corporate.
It's regurgitation of what they've already made and they're just remaking those movies again.
Everybody's given up.
Get these people out of here.
They all look like they sell time shares.
It doesn't have like this friendly.
Corporate Speak Intellectuals00:03:26
By the way, they will.
Yeah.
They will.
They will sell timeshares if they're lucky.
So what do you think Hollywood needs to get that fuel back?
So what's interesting is, you know, we saw it.
We were kind of, we became friends during the pandemic when you saw all of the young people on TikTok, a lot of them become the rulers of the town because all the older actors and actresses didn't want to get canceled.
So they kind of went to their estates.
They moved away.
Whatever.
Most actors and actresses, a lot of A-listeners are leaving here.
They're done.
The writing's kind of on the wall.
So whatever, John Travolta, whoever, none of those people are going to determine the future of LA.
Right.
It's going to be young people that are doing something creative.
I don't know what form that takes.
We saw it during the pandemic.
It was all those TikTok kids.
But it seems like, did any of them build anything of value?
No.
They never do.
Well, you lose attention.
You lose attention.
Because it's so fast right now.
It's like, I can get an idea, write it, shoot, edit, post it in a week.
But the Hollywood stuff is so slow, you lose interest.
And the thing is, the talent that they have is very marketable for a period of their life.
Yes.
And then as they age out of that period, it's diminishing returns, right?
Because their fans move on.
They go to college.
They get boyfriends, girlfriends.
You know what I mean?
Of course.
So I don't know what happens to this town.
It's very interesting.
You've grown up here your entire life.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's dumb for me to try and go towards TV.
Does that only slow things down or does that help with my longevity?
I don't really know.
But I think what I do now, I love.
I love making schedules.
I love touring and a podcast.
Yeah, I mean, listen, I think you try to do everything.
Correct.
And whatever happens, happens.
Yeah.
I'm having dinner tonight with RFK, his VP, the great Anahashin.
We're trying to overthrow the government.
As you should.
Okay.
We're flying Anna in from Ritzkill.
We're trying to overthrow the government.
And I don't know who his VP is going to be, but I'm not allowed to mention it for 15 days.
I have, he texted me.
He's like, it's some type of...
RFK?
Yeah, he texts me.
He goes, what is text sound fucked up too?
Yeah, he texts me.
He said Chatham House rules tonight where we can't, we're not allowed to talk about anything.
So we're trying to overthrow the government.
Now, that might not work.
And I might have to do something on Peacock.
I don't know.
I don't know!
Yeah, I don't really What do you think of those?
Please don't destroy kids.
Do you fight them?
Do you go there and fight all three of them?
Destroy them.
That's exactly what you do.
You take them.
But I mean, because you just get, they just do you go in front of them.
Do you just kick them?
Do you fight them?
I don't know.
I mean, I feel.
I like them.
I like those kids.
Beverly Hills Cop Baby Scene00:03:05
They're funny.
I think it just sucks that SNL is like determining where they go after this because they put a movie out.
Yeah.
And I think they've even said in interviews, like, yeah, it did okay.
It didn't do good.
Oh, well, who's watching movies anymore?
That's also a great point.
No one cares.
It's also a great point.
No one cares.
I don't know what you do.
No one wants to watch Oppenheimer.
Drop the bomb already.
We don't care about it.
Have you seen a Mr. Beast video?
They blow up a train within 13 seconds.
Oppenheimer took three and a half hours to do it.
Right.
I only watch, I watched Ukraine War, and now I watch Gaza.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm on.
That's the season I'm on right now.
And then I'll switch.
Haiti's getting good.
And people have, it's getting good because they have this guy barbecue who's burning people alive and eating them.
So I'm kind of pivoting to that a little.
I just watched.
There's no reason.
There's like a few shows that are good.
Everything else is crap.
It's really not good.
It's not good.
It's not good.
People don't know the pandemic and all the things that we went through.
It kind of broke a lot of stuff.
Well, it's also weird to go through that and then make content and be like, we're just back to normal again because we're not.
It's to not address the well, we know all these things are possible.
We know that like large-scale riots are possible.
We don't really believe in anything anymore.
We know that the government will bail.
We know that cops bail.
We know that when things get bad, we only have ourselves to look after ourselves.
All of this stuff that now has become true to us, it's hard sometimes to, you know, suspend disbelief, which is what you have to do to really enjoy things.
You're watching all this stuff now going, that wouldn't happen.
Right.
Well, they're putting out Beverly Hills Cop 3 and you're like, well, I don't think cops have the same reputation as the first and the second one.
Right.
So it's just weird to not address any of that and just still act like the world's normal.
But maybe that's your point because you want to take the entertainment so you don't think about that type of stuff.
Well, I mean, it just, it depends.
Is a two-hour movie the way that we're going to process?
Is that the way we're going to get told a story anymore?
I don't know.
And Beverly Hills cop, they're not going to do any really funny jokes because they're going to kind of probably run scared from really good jokes.
Beverly Hills Cop should open a homeless woman's giving birth.
Do you understand?
In Beverly Hills.
But no, this is what should happen.
Yeah, right in front of a blue bottle.
In the middle of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
Good.
She's having a baby right on the mat.
Like right as you walk into the hotel, she's sitting there and she's having a baby.
And then who's in Beverly Hills cop?
Eddie Murphy.
And then...
Still?
Yeah, he is.
What about Leslie Jones?
I don't want, I want Leslie Jones and Finn Wolford in it.
So Finn Wolford and Leslie Jones, Leslie Jones, like, yo, this bitch having a baby in a hotel, Finn, this bitch having a fucking baby, motherfucker.
And then, and then she's like, yo, are you Jewish?
And he's like, no, I just have that nose.
And she's like, whatever.
And she's like, yelling this woman, she's like, bitch, you can't have a baby here.
Rich people pay a lot of money to stay up in this hotel, bitch.
And then Finn Wolfrid's like, maybe we should just help her have her baby.
Nickelodeon Monetizing Kids Funniness00:15:26
Yeah.
And then Sidney Sweeney comes in.
She goes, I'll save the day.
End credits tits out.
That's right.
Sidney Sweeney just takes her big tits out.
And that's Beverly Hills Cop.
And it's two minutes.
That's what we need.
It's two minutes.
Two minutes would be perfect.
We don't get the dialogue.
Legends doing hack crap jokes.
And it should be filmed on an iPhone.
I want vertical.
I want it to feel real.
I don't want film cameras.
It should just feel real.
Snapchat titles on it.
Interesting.
Yeah, I just feel like if we're going to watch this whole movie, there's such a buildup and there's such a long delay.
Get to the punchlines.
Blow something up, as you said.
This is what I think.
I just, you have a different perspective because you guy coming from Camarillo, did your parents like, would you guys go to LA a lot as a kid?
Not really as high school.
We'd come here.
We'd go to Venice and get away from it.
What did your faults do for the my mom wrote for a food magazine and my dad was in sales, worked in the for sold bikes on Diamondback and shit?
Fuck yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Damax, uh, what are the fucking, what's the ones on the side of the street?
They're riding along, gotcha, thin tires.
I don't really know.
So you saw bikes, and then mom wrote for like Gourmet May magazine or something.
Yeah, wrote food articles and whatnot.
Interesting.
Very suburban parents, very right down the middle.
Yeah.
You know, brothers, sisters?
Older sister, yeah, lives in New York, you know, smokes cigarettes, which I'm pretty jealous of.
That's kind of cool.
She's like the New Yorker that's.
Oh, she was like straight A's and then moves to New York and starts ripping heaters.
You're like, oh, whoa, so what does she do?
Social work.
She's, she's it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She needs a cigar for that.
I don't need to be smoking a cigarette because my algorithm's down.
She used to be ripping darts because the family she's talking to is torn apart.
Right.
She's like, now, honey, tell me which bruise is new.
Which one's new?
No, that's the old one.
That's the one I saw last time.
Do you want a heater too?
Do you want a cigarette?
Yeah.
She works for those cigarettes.
If I'm smoking a cigarette, does she think you're funny?
I don't know.
Probably not.
I don't know.
Our family's like very social.
There's no way she likes what you do.
Social level.
She's a social worker.
She can't get into it.
Here's how I know she doesn't think I'm funny.
Yeah.
She started taking improv classes when my career started taking off.
She's like, she's like, anyone can do it.
Yes.
She goes, if it's in this fucking family, I can probably do it.
She's like, I'll get famous too.
Yeah.
Fuck this guy.
Probably.
Wow.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's hilarious.
Interesting.
But yeah, she's ripping heaters, talking to, you know, my family kind of likes me now, but for years, they didn't.
Would they give you notes and be like, I don't know about that one, Tim?
No, they would, they would, you know, because I'm, I just, I've been antagonistic, I think, with the show I talk about.
Yeah.
I have opinions about everybody.
As you should.
And, you know, but not everyone loves that.
So only now that I've been able to like do nice things for them have they been like more on board.
I remember I was backstage at your New York show and there's like you had an uncle or a cousin there.
He was an insane man.
He's a drunk lunatic.
You know who I'm talking about, right?
I hate him.
He was great.
He was bringing people in lunatics from the crowd.
Just you two, just waving them in.
Crazy.
Just waving them in.
Like he was fucking Trey songs.
He's like, get him back here.
Long Island is the worst collection of human beings because everybody there is entitled to everything.
Yes.
Your time, your space, your money, anything that they're, they take it all.
Yeah, they're great people.
I actually do love them.
I'm kidding around.
But him and his chick were going to come stay at my house for two weeks.
I'm like, I sold it.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Have you seen the thing about the quiet on set, the new documentary from Max?
No, what's that about?
It's exposing all Dan Schneider.
Nickelodeon.
Yes.
This is right up your house.
Yes, Nickelodeon.
I saw this on the way here about it, and it's getting a lot of buzz right now.
Apparently, Drake Bell was saying a bunch of shit how he got inappropriately groped and it's a lot of Dan Schneider shit.
There might be a trailer for it, but it's on Max, I believe.
But this is right up.
If you're not yelling about it in this episode, you should at least scream about it.
Yeah.
You should.
I mean, yeah.
When we just OD'd on the Epstein stuff, it's like, it's like, there's, here's the thing, folks.
This stuff will never get solved.
I don't want to, I don't know what to tell you.
I feel bad.
Well, here's the way.
You can't rape an AI kid.
You can't rape an AI kid.
How about that?
Ain't that the answer?
Let's watch the trailer for this.
In the early 90s, Nickelodeon was kid everything.
And you better hope that your house had cable.
We wasn't there to educate you.
We were there to have fun, to get slimed, to be honest.
And to rape children.
And this is when Dan Schneider arrives.
Nickelodeon's golden boy.
He created these shows that were hugely successful for them.
No one had ever really done sketch comedy starring kids for kids.
What a weird series of child actors who became major stars for 20 years.
He shaved a lot of people.
I think he was a heterosexual pedophile, right?
Isn't that nice?
But that mark one of the darkest chapters.
I literally tried to get jobs as a child actor and I would take my pussy out and no one would fuck me.
But I was hot then.
I was like a hot kid.
Yeah, that's tough.
So this is basically about that everybody went.
Is this why Amanda Bynes is nuts?
Yeah, she's insane.
I saw her in Vancouver on the street.
She has a heart tattooed on her face and she has like a buzz cut, kind of like an M ⁇ M type thing.
Where's that movie?
That's A24 should pick that up.
I want an Amanda Bynes dock.
Yeah.
You know?
Where's she at?
Yeah, there it is.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of anybody who pitches kids.
I feel bad.
I feel bad, man, because so Dan Schneider was the one who he's like, the future's kids.
Right.
That's his whole point.
Right.
And it ain't.
I've said it.
It's AI.
It's robots.
AI kids.
There we go.
Now, he always looked like he's wearing a fat suit of like a character.
I know.
And he unfortunately got, he made her crazy, right?
He looks like a gold member in the last Austin Power.
Oh, he's the villain.
Keep the trailer going.
He's an actual villain.
He's like, hey, kids need to be monetized for their funniness.
Right.
Working for Dan was like being in an abusive relationship.
Dan's treatment of people on your shows was an open secret.
So my lawyer filed complaints.
Gender discrimination, hostile work environment, harassment.
And it was so devastating.
How safe can any kids be in that environment?
There would be even bigger problems down the line with actual pedophiles on set.
These are three predators who worked at Nickelodeon all in a short amount of time.
Jeez.
It was a toxic environment.
It made me trust people.
We were there for so many hours.
You get comfortable with people until you're not.
I had no idea what I was saving my son from.
It's a house of horrors.
They find this enormous trove of child pornography.
The offices.
This is, by the way, this is another reason that this town will just never function quite the way that it did is because we know all of these things now.
We have all of this information about how, which is good because people can protect themselves in the future.
But like, now that we know this, you're inherently suspect of everything.
You know?
Well, any kids' show you see, you're going to be like, what's going on in the background?
Right.
Who's filming this?
Let me see what the director looks like.
Is it also a kid?
Oh, it's an adult.
Check him.
Right.
It's just a thing.
And it's just the Me Too movement.
All these things.
All these things have like made people aware of these really punishing corporate structures that allowed these monsters to do all this shit.
That's why a lot of people are doing stuff independently and having a lot of success because you don't have to, you know?
I mean, the worst part is he was making great TV shows.
That's the worst.
They all were.
Here's the problem.
They all were.
They all were.
Kevin Spacey, they all were.
They all were.
You know, this is a terrible thing.
And I don't know what to tell people about it other than it's not worth it.
Good TV is not worth a bunch of kids getting raped.
But there's got to be like, I don't know, some other way.
Like, maybe allow them to be like really, really anti-Semitic and racist.
The kids are the directors.
The people that used to be pedophiles.
Gotcha.
They got to have a taboo.
They need an arc.
They need a taboo.
Yeah, they need to bring them back for like, you know, when they do the survivors.
She's a Nazi lesbian.
She has sex with people of her own age, but she's a fat Nazi.
And she smells a lot of boxes right there.
Yeah, and the cigarettes.
See, you can't give these jobs to normies.
But we can't have kids and women being thrown into a pit.
So what can we do?
We got to give them to people that are a little fucking nuts because those are people that make good shit.
Maybe it could be like, Blaus, I just have a foot fetish.
Yeah, exactly.
Right?
I mean, Dan Schneider loved feet.
He did.
Everywhere.
His feet and all these photos.
And Nickelodeon used to be a foot.
The logo.
Why was the, that's a great point.
Why was the logo of Nickelodeon a foot?
There's also something about like on iCarly, he had a lot of people.
But did they, I mean, let me honest with you.
Does that not look like a happy couple?
All right.
Anyway, it's a joke.
But he had also kids send in foot photos for like an iCarly contest.
People would take, like, kids would take photos of feet and like, send it into Dan and Nickelodeon.not.com.
It's so crazy, like, that this one guy's foot fetish became a network.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, look at this.
Like, this guy's foot fetish became a literal network.
This was 2009.
He goes, if you have weird toes, please send it to us.
I don't even think the show was on in 2009.
I think this was like four years later.
He's like, who wants a reboot?
Yeah, let's go.
Speaking of boots, get those dogs out.
It really is.
Now he's not on X anymore, right?
I think so now.
He's alive, correct?
Somewhere?
He's somewhere.
He's probably still in LA.
He's probably still taking generals, being like, cool, shoes off.
Yeah, I wonder where Dan Schneider would be now.
Is that his profile?
Is that him?
Did he retweet the link?
No.
Yeah, this is the first time he tweeted in five years.
Oh, he talks about it.
Hold on.
That's not Dan Schneider.
This is Dan right here.
Okay, by the way, by the way, by the way.
He looks better.
This is great.
He's actually addressing this.
Let's go.
I really appreciate you reaching out and giving me the opportunity.
They're sitting so close to each other.
We saw over the last two nights.
I'm really glad you're here because I believe this is important.
By the way, you know where this should have happened.
Hey, mom.
Thanks for doing this, ma'am.
Well, in the documentary, ma'am, it says that you were like, well, they suggested you're like a pedophile, ma'am.
And fucked up.
How do you like Austin, ma'am?
That's great.
We love it here, ma'am.
How great would that be?
What if Dan Schneider and Rogan, like, wrote, he won on Rogan and then Rogan just talked about how great Austin was?
But the people are friendly, ma'am.
Now you're accused of raping kids.
What is that, ma'am?
All right, let's see what he says here.
We've got a lot of things to unpack.
But before I dive into my list of topics that I'd like to discuss, is there anything you'd like to start off with?
Absolutely.
Watching over the past two nights was very difficult to me facing my past behaviors, some of which are embarrassing and that I've seen.
And I definitely owe some people a pretty strong apology.
Let's talk about the massages.
I thought he just said the massage.
Let's talk about the massage.
I was going to be like, oh my God, this is getting good.
All these dudes love massages.
Well, it's the way to get people in.
Yeah, okay.
Wrong.
It was wrong that I ever put anybody in that position.
It's like the modern day trench code.
I never do it today.
I'm embarrassed that I did it then.
I apologize to anybody that I ever put in that situation.
And even additionally, I apologize to the people who were walking around Video Village or wherever they happened because there were lots of people there who witnessed it who also may have felt uncomfortable.
So I owe them.
This is so surreal.
Dan, talk to me about the writer's room.
From what I saw.
That's not the issue.
No, no.
And I don't mean to cut you off, but if I can cut right to the chase, let me just say, no writer should ever feel uncomfortable in any writer's room, ever.
Period, the end, no excuses.
Most TV writers, comedy writers have been in writers' rooms and they are aware that's the issue here.
Yeah, it's like an odd.
Yeah.
But here's what's interesting about this, right?
This is what's interesting about this.
This is a very interesting.
No one advised him to do this, by the way.
There's no, no one, no PR team was like, get out ahead of it.
He could have fallen off the face of the earth and nobody would have said anything.
He's doing this because he's basically trying to like he's trying because this documentary that comes out, this is like an asteroid, right?
It's a meteor coming.
Right.
A lot of spotlight on him.
Now he's like, okay, I could shoot it with a missile.
It's like all those disaster movies.
They're like, we hope it burns up by the time it gets into the atmosphere.
You know, they're like, maybe King Charles will die.
Yeah, he's banging.
So he's going out there now and going, okay, none of that happened.
This is a big thing.
What if I do an open and show like a 20-minute interview where I just talk about, now here's the thing.
The beginning of this starts with him being very, you know, conciliatory.
I'm sorry.
Eventually he'll start to defend himself.
This is the only reason.
20 minutes.
Yeah.
Skip.
You can't say sorry for it.
10 minutes in.
There's no way.
I always think they should put ad like brand deals in the middle of the show.
Right.
Just piss people off.
Yeah.
And before I tell you what I really did behind those closed doors, we're going to talk about factor meals, everybody.
Let's see, because eventually this turns.
Let's see.
Very evident, as it is in the second one.
And then the first movie I ever made for Nickelodeon, which starred Keenan and Kell.
And every show I did after that had a lead black actor in it.
I'm very proud of that.
Dad, yet, yet, see?
Not only am I proud that they were in my shows, I'm as an art.
This is winning you over at the end.
No, it was never about apology.
It was only about getting to this point of it where he can go, hey, I just want to let everyone know that we were out there for we I was the first woke pedophile.
He goes, I was the first woke pedophile.
He goes, you know how many racist pedophiles were in this town?
He goes, I also wanted to have sex with black children.
Yeah, no apology video needs to be 20 minutes where they're not hyping themselves out.
Unreal.
It can be two minutes.
Unreal.
But the 20, can you do like a one more click over to see what he's talking about?
But that's hilarious.
Therapist Stalker Audience Schizophrenia00:10:29
And say this is not a good situation.
So I decided I'm going to do what most showrunners do, which is, you know, there's a director there to shoot it.
I'll go up to the writer's room.
I'll work on the next script.
But because everybody was so used to me caring about every detail of every show so much for me not to be on the set, yeah, maybe some people thought I got banned.
So it was more of an action, maybe because he plugged in twice the last couple of minutes.
See me at the Omaha Phonybone this weekend.
He's like, I've got a great new movie coming out.
What is it going to mean within your family?
Let them find out.
And then that way, if a kid doesn't want to be on a TV show, they can opt out.
That psychologist, that therapist could come to us and say, this kid doesn't want to do this.
Right, it's a kid's fault.
Their parents aren't kids.
He's like, if your kid doesn't want to be raped, have a therapist.
Let us know.
Have a therapist come.
If nobody wants...
He's like, I'm not going to change.
Yeah, but if you go to therapist.
If your kid can't handle some balls on the shoulder, a couple of fun uncle tricks, You can have a therapist.
Have a therapy.
Break it up.
Break it up because otherwise it's like, hey, man, I'm not going to change it.
Get rid of that.
Dan Schneider, everyone.
Rehabilitating his image.
Dan Schneider.
Wow.
Breaks his silence after watching that Doc U mentoring.
Are you a feet guy?
I'm not.
Not a foot guy.
I don't do anything.
I've tried to have sex with the foot once.
Didn't do anything for me.
Right.
The positioning was kind of weird.
Yeah.
I did like you kind of like move it around a little bit.
Yeah, I feel you.
I didn't really do anything for me.
Anything for you?
Maybe a little bit.
Nothing crazy.
Okay.
It's not like it's just like a taboo thing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So it's kind of like a thing that's like...
It's just there.
It's there.
It's not something you should not engage with.
Yeah, if there's a charcuterie board, I'm going to try a little bit of that.
Yeah, you're not going to, you should not engage with it, but I wouldn't set up a network with a logo of a foot.
No.
Like, that's a huge.
That's a big commitment.
Yeah.
I have no problem with the foot, but the idea that it's the entire rationale for that guy's life.
Yeah, maybe he was just trying to do it so big.
It's like, what?
That's ironic.
I put that up there just for fun.
Yeah.
Or you want to see it every day.
He got to the office.
No, he wanted, I mean, he was like, this is my mission.
This is my thing.
This is what I've done.
This is my life.
Yeah, not looking great for him.
It's not looking great for him, but here's the deal.
There is a world in which he runs as RFK's VP.
We got to really reach the children.
And Dan, listen, Dan has had some problems, but he has, he's basically addressed all of those.
He liked getting massages.
He was overweight.
He had a lot of joint pain, a lot of joint issues.
And he has a therapist now.
He has a therapist now.
If the kids come in now, their therapist will say, they will say, do I want Dan to touch me or not?
And that's really all we can do.
We just have to, we have to go from the children.
That was the craziest part where he goes, if the kids' therapist doesn't want him there, we'll get him out.
Yeah.
What is happening in this world?
I also think the parents that put their kids through all that acting stuff, it makes the kids insane.
Because the kid's 14.
He hasn't had a single friend, but he's gotten to stardom and his parents have a lot of people.
I tried and I couldn't get anything.
I did a lot of theater.
I never got big stuff.
I think when you get big stuff, you get...
Theater still works because you have friends.
What was that?
That's Blair.
What was that?
He pursued a career as a child actor.
Dylan got a role in the famous news show, Sesame Street.
Even though he got a good role, Dylan's career as an actor never took off.
Hey!
Listen, bitch, he was in an Eli Roth movie.
Bro, I got my fucking head cut off.
Yeah, I just met Eli recently and I was like, hey, I'm friends with Tim.
He didn't give a shit about me.
He did the LA thing where he's looking every different direction but you.
He's like, yeah, man, for sure.
Yeah.
No, anyways, yeah, it's like, yeah, I love Tim.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
Where was he?
What did you guys mean?
Some movie premiere that I was in a movie.
I had one role.
I played a vape store employee.
It was pretty fun.
What movie?
Drugstore June.
It's one with Bill Burr and Esther.
Can we be honest?
These movies are just over.
You know what I mean?
I'm not trying to make fun of anyone.
I'm saying, does anyone care about any of these things?
No, it's interesting.
I mean, I'm in the scene with Bad Baby Danielle Bragoli.
You know, she's making a difference.
Just try to overthrow the government.
That's what we're going to RFKs.
I'd rather overthrow the government than do this.
I'd rather die in like a revolutionary struggle.
I think movies would be in drugstore June.
Movies don't need to be comedies anymore, but it's like you can do Marvel, you can do the action, you can do all that.
Because that's fun.
Watching a comedy movie and it's not funny, funny, you're like just pissed.
Maybe I am something like, oh, that could have been funny.
Well, any movie they make now is going to suck unless a comedian does it on their own and doesn't have any of this.
Like they don't, you can't get notes from unfunny.
We've established that all the fucking risk takers have left.
They're out.
Yeah.
They're out.
It's replaced by fucking people that went to Wesleyan college.
I mean, these are like...
Well, you got a guy giving you notes who does like ad sales.
Yeah, they suck.
Well, you look at the resume and they're now the head of comedy at BuzzFeed.
And you're like, you were selling ads in Florida.
How did you come to this?
Well, a lot of these people just, again, they shouldn't be giving anyone notes.
And if comics don't have full autonomy to do funny shit, then it's not that funny.
There's too many cooks in the kitchen.
There's too many people saying yes or no on what's funny.
That's true.
I mean, no joke would ever get off the, on stage if before you told a joke, you're like, hey, before I talk about this, do you guys want to hear this?
Maybe yes.
No, you just do it.
And then out of the audience, you get 70% laugh, 100% laugh, 100% laugh.
Do you have like crazy fans?
People show up to the crib?
I have a few stalker-ish people who scare me a little bit.
Interesting.
Men, women, both.
Women.
Wow.
I like it.
Now, what's their thing?
What do they say?
We're meant to be together.
My favorite thing about stalkers, they would show up outside of like Lady Gaga's house or like Kayla Swift's house.
And they're like, and the cops would be dragging them out.
They'd be like, no, I'm here to protect her.
That's my favorite thing stalkers do.
They go, ah, excuse me.
That's why I brought this up.
I'm here to protect her.
So what do they do?
It's just overly loving.
It's just overly, it's a lot of messages.
It's a lot of gifts.
It's a lot of.
It's too much.
It's just, yeah, it's just not.
I would, yeah, it just scares me a little bit because it's like, what do they say?
Like the closest people are the scary.
Does ever show up?
To shows some.
Okay.
Yeah.
I've had a few where I go like, or I'll give the security force.
You're like, hey, if this person comes to the show, be on the lookout.
Right.
But they're all nice.
So that's the hard part because you don't want to do anything that would essentially anger them.
So if you block them or ban them from a show, I think it's only going to raise the stakes.
So I think it's just best to just be like, oh, thank you for whatever you're doing.
You know, deep down, you're like, oh, that's a little interesting.
Thank you for whatever you're doing.
What a great way to say it.
You know, I don't know.
Thank you for whatever you're doing.
Well, my chances are they're probably listening right now and being like, is he talking about me?
So I'm just very blanket statement like, oh, yeah, hey, you got to do it.
I'm going to put out my Dan Schneider.
Sorry to my stalker.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to talk about that.
But if you're uncomfortable, get a therapist.
I know.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I don't know.
Do you have a lot of stalker?
No, I, well, I have people that are mentally unwell that send stuff.
You know, there's a lot.
When you talk about conspiracies, you talk about anything like that, you have a group.
There's an amount of the audience is probably suffering from schizophrenia.
You know, I think about 10% of the country is schizophrenic now.
I really, truly believe that.
So when you do an individual show where you talk to people and they just hear your voice over and over again.
You know?
Yeah.
But it's, I've had people, I've had women weirdly show up to stuff too.
Really?
A couple of crazy women.
And they find shows or you're, this seems to be a problem.
Okay.
Once showed up at a hotel in New York City.
Ah.
Yeah.
And then what?
I was just like, I don't know who this person is.
They kept coming every single day and sitting in the lobby.
Oh.
Let's check.
Yeah.
It was a little weird.
Interesting.
A little weird.
Postmates for Tim.
They just have no food on them at all.
Just a gun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Delivered for Mr. Dylan.
Yeah, it's terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, it can be weird, but it's not nearly as weird as it gets for other people.
Well, it's just so weird because you're like at any given moment, here's my tour dates.
You're exactly where I'll be.
Right.
And then these people are like, oh, he's doing a show here.
You like living out where you live.
You're kind of far out.
Yeah, I like it.
I like it a lot.
It's calm.
It's quiet.
I miss a little bit of the buzz out here.
But I mean, the goal would be kind of what you're doing is get a place in New York and then like kind of do like a bi-coastal thing if I ever need.
Yeah.
I just like to jump around.
I get bored.
Yeah, I get bored easy too.
But I'm not at my house line.
If I'm at my house, I'm working.
It's not like I just sit there.
Anytime I sit there, I'm like, oh, this sucks.
All my neighbors are old.
One guy is so old, he just rakes the street every day.
Every day he rakes the street.
And I'm like, that marriage is not going well.
Everybody's just old where I live.
So it's not very motivating, but I love it for comfort and space.
For sure.
Tell people that don't know about you where they can find you.
I'm on tour coming up, TrevorWallaceComedy.com and then just Trevor Wallace on all socials.
Stiff Socks podcast.
Stiff Socks podcast with me and Michael Blausign.
Michael Blaus sign.
Footboy.
Not Dan Schneider, but Michael Blausign.
No, yeah.
The one that does it.
He's much less successful than Dan Snyder.
I love Michael Blau sign.
There's hope.
No matter how big he got, Snyder had a whole network to his fetish.
God.
That's hard to.
Really had it all.
Hard to beat.
TimDillerComedy.com, Royal Albert Hall, if you haven't bought tickets.
April 7th.
And then, yeah, I don't know.
Other things.
There's other things on there.
I don't know.
Come to the other place.
I'm not going to read them.
I don't read.
I don't care.
Come.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for having me.
I fucking love the show.
Dude, I really appreciate it.
I'm glad we got to do this.
We're very rarely in the same place at the same time.
Yeah, hopefully.
I'm a big fan.
Thanks, man.
Hopefully, the people who listen to the show are like, he fucking talked too much.