Tim talks about the Jeffrey Epstein court documents, how the media is handling the notable people implicated, a legendary Long Island establishment shuttering, the hour requirement of friendship and why the President is kicking off the year in our darkest places.American Royalty Tour🎟 https://www.timdilloncomedy.com/SPONSORS:FUMStart the Good Habit at tryfum.com/TIM to save 10% off the Journey Pack today.Blue ChewBlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TIM'▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo...Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillonListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo...#TheTimDillonShowMerch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same.#TimGivesBack
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Chris Matthews Gaslighting00:05:43
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show being recorded the day that the Epstein names have leaked.
And we're playing, I want to play a little clip here from the good people at NBC who are always, you know, incredibly focused and focusing our attention exactly where it should be.
And here we are, NBC News.
This is how they are filtering the Epstein news for you.
Found I should mention none of this obviously suggests any wrongdoing by the former president, suggests that he was involved in a crime.
It's merely talking about his connections to Epstein, something that has already, again, been out there, but he has obviously maintained his innocence and denied any wrongdoing as it relates to any abuse by people that Epstein exploited Tom.
That interaction that Clint.
God.
No, thank God.
The slander has to stop.
And I thank God that NBC has the guts to come out and say, hey, just because the president was mentioned 50 times in the deposition of a victim of a human trafficker,
just because he might have taken said human traffickers' plane 25 times or whatever, just because the human trafficker's best friend, Ghislaine Maxwell, was at the president's daughter's wedding.
There is no wrongdoing.
None of this suggests any wrongdoing by the president.
It's very important that NBC and all the other news networks that we know and trust come out and first and foremost defend the honor of the man who's mentioned 50 times in the human trafficking docs.
It's very important.
Who will do it, if not NBC?
Who will do it?
Who will come out and you know defend, rightly defend this man who is being maligned with such ugly talk, such ugly talk for no reason.
None of this suggests any wrongdoing by the president.
None of it.
Play it again.
Play the first couple of lines again.
None of this.
Found I should mention none of this obviously suggests any wrongdoing by the former president.
It's the human trafficker being on the plane of the human trafficker, having the human traffickers friend at the wedding.
None of it suggests any wrongdoing.
None of it suggests any wrongdoing.
It just happens.
It just happens.
Like Chris Matthews, who used to host hardball until I don't even know what happened.
I don't know why they threw him out.
I don't think he even did anything.
I think he, I don't know what he did.
I think he made some inappropriate comment to a woman in an elevator.
Whatever.
Chris Matthews, his reaction to the Epstein thing was like, well, all these politicians, they're just, they're broke and they need rides around the country.
So some of them end up in these planes.
And rich guys offer to fly them around.
Yeah, this is.
Yeah, Chris Matthews came out and said like, hey, guys, the Clintons can't afford to charter their own plane.
Yet they, yet, I can.
Somehow I can charter a private plane if I want to go perform at side splitters in Tampa.
But Bill and Hillary Clinton somehow can't afford a chartered plane.
So they have to take the charity of Jeffrey Epstein.
Chris Matthews goes to get around for their professional and political reasons.
They've become friends with the wrong freaking people.
And these people are frightening and they want something.
They want the prestige of hanging around a politician.
So that was Chris Matthews.
Again, somebody who works at NBC.
That was his way of understanding it is that it's a big 90s movie mix up where you end up on a plane with a human trafficker at an island where they're having sex orgies with children.
It's a big mixup.
You weren't supposed to be there.
You just needed a ride.
It was planes, trains, and automobiles starring the ex-president of the United States and a bunch of 15-year-olds.
That's what it was.
And anyone who thinks it's anything else, you're not.
David Copperfield Scandal00:15:50
You're crazy because none of this suggests any wrongdoing.
Not one, not any of it.
None of it.
None of it.
This is the level of gaslighting.
And I hate that fucking word, but it is, but I will use it when it suits my purposes.
And I will say that this is a level of gaslighting that is almost impressive.
The news now has to tell you that your eyes and ears are, you're seeing the words and they're on the paper, but they have to then tell you that none of the words actually are any indication of what the words are supposed to mean.
Like, for example, it would be like me handing you a menu and then walking over to your table a few minutes later and going, none of this is food.
And you go, well, I don't understand.
You go, well, it's just words on a paper.
None of it suggests we have any of the food.
You go, wait, but it's a menu saying you've got a steak and mashed potatoes.
Yeah, but have you seen any of it?
Well, no, I haven't walked back into the kitchen.
Well, then it doesn't suggest that we have it.
That's what they're saying.
I mean, this is insane.
These are the legal documents.
These are legal documents.
This isn't something people made up.
This isn't like something people came up with on X to be cute.
These are genuine legal documents released through the media.
You know what I mean?
They're not only being, it's not like the Twitter files.
They're not being handed exclusively to a small group of journalists.
These are a wide-ranging institutions are publishing these.
The veracity is not in question.
These are real documents.
And how many times, find out how many times Clinton's mentioned.
I believe it's 50.
Yeah, I think it's like 56.
Oh, hold on.
I believe it's a 50 to 60 times that the president of the United States, the ex-president of the United States, the ex-CIA director, Ehud Barak, the ex-prime minister of Israel, all of these people were mentioned in the documents, but the media is now coming out and going, but by the way, none of them, this doesn't suggest that they did anything wrong.
This just, you know, it's just something that happens.
They'll pin this whole thing on David Copperfield, by the way.
David Copperfield, he's going to jail.
You will see David Copperfield perp walked.
All of these billionaires they've mentioned, Dubin and Black, Leon, the Apollo guy, and Glenn Dubin, they'll all be fine.
The Clintons will be fine.
Somehow, David Copperfield, this creep fucking magician, that me and my dad, you know, we watched him make a train disappear in the 90s on television.
It was kind of cool.
Do you remember that?
I don't.
You were young, but, you know, he did a thing.
He made a train disappear and me and my father watched it.
Maybe you could find it.
And I like David Copperfield.
But apparently, apparently, yeah, he made this train vanish.
What year was this?
It looks like...
Are we going to get a YouTube strike for playing this?
That's a good point.
Or do you think Copperfield's people are distracted?
Maybe they're distracted right now.
Maybe Copperfield's media team's distracted and they're not going to be reporting people playing as a train trick.
I don't know.
But I will tell you this.
Apparently, David Copperfield was doing magic.
You know, you think when you go to a pedophile orgy, that would be all you do.
But apparently Epstein went the extra mile.
He had like fun other things happening.
Can you imagine being a frustrated pedophile?
And you're sitting there and you're like, all right, you know what I mean?
Like, I get it.
He's a big comedian, but, you know, we're here to, you know, I mean, that's why we took the plane, you know?
I mean, we're all being blackmailed and videotaped.
And, you know, can we just get to it?
Because like, if I, if I see this guy do another card trick, I'm going to kill myself.
But apparently that's what Epstein did.
You know, it's never enough just to be a pimp.
It's never enough to be anything, by the way.
This is what's interesting about life.
It's one of the great human comedies where it's never enough.
So you have this guy who's like a pimp.
Jeffrey Epstein's a pedophile pimp.
And everyone coming to that island.
Now, I know the media would disagree with my crazy generalization, right?
Because of course there were people that went to the island to see the fauna and the flora.
But let's just say that a good 90-some-odd percent of them were there to fuck kids.
That's why they're going.
And Jeffrey Epstein is, he's created this island pedophile paradise for all of these people, but it's not enough because he goes, well, you know, he goes, but I want them to, I want them to, I want this to be a weekend they'll never forget.
And he go, well, no, you know, probably even Ghislaine was probably like, no, no, no, darling.
They're going to love it.
We got everything.
I've got all these gals.
We're bringing them in.
He goes, no, no, no, but what about a magic show?
And she's like, oh, no, really, no, if we need, I don't, darling, I don't know if we have, we've got all these, we've got all these children from bad homes.
And they're going to, you're going to fuck all these people.
And darling, they're going to love it.
And he's like, yeah, but I just want more.
I want people to talk about this.
I don't want this just to be, you know, the same old pedophile orgies that they've always been doing in Washington.
I want magic.
I want fun.
What about a tarot card?
What about a tarot card reader?
How about a tarot card reader?
What about a fun carnival?
You know, some circus games.
It might fit the theme of being pedophiles.
How about that fun thing with, you know, the water gun in the clown's mouth?
Ghislaine, can't we make it fun?
Shouldn't we have it a little more fun here?
You know, they don't want it.
And then there's probably these pedophiles that are like, and this guy, Jeffrey, was insufferable, too.
He started talking about science and seeding the human race with his DNA.
And can you imagine that?
You show up to the pedophile island and then Stephen Hawking's there.
And Jeffrey Epstein's like, so we're doing a talk about physics with Stephen Hawking.
And then David Copperfield is making a tree disappear.
And then we'll all fuck the kids.
People are going, hey, man, not for nothing, but can we get a move on this?
It is hilarious because he was a pedophile pimp.
I mean, none of that's funny, but just the idea that it wasn't enough.
He wanted to be known.
He wanted to hang out with like scientists.
And he thought he was like a bon vivant.
You know, he was a pimp.
He was like, you know, the people that you noticed or that you didn't, you know, you would see in New York City when I was growing up, like these guys with fur coats or leather coats or, you know, big Cadillacs.
And then they'd have the hookers standing in Times Square.
That's all Jeffrey Epstein was.
All he was is a pimp.
But he had delusions of grandeur like anyone else.
Anyone else, because the Mossad and the CIA kept, you know, pushing him and he was blackmailing all these people and they were kind of like, you know, they had his back up until when they didn't.
But he had all these delusions of grandeur.
It's like, you know, he wanted to have all these scientists hang out at his house.
He wanted to hang out with Bill Gates.
And he wanted to pick their brains.
And he really fancied himself as this guy who was on the cutting edge, but he was just a pimp.
That's the thing.
Magician David Copperfield had dinner with Jeffrey Epstein and asked victim if she realized Predators girls were getting paid to find out other girls for him to abuse.
So what does this mean?
Was Copperfield saying this like, hey, what's up here?
This incriminates Copperfield potentially.
Why?
Or maybe he's asking because he doesn't like this.
Maybe.
Maybe it's just, it's, you know, he, but did he leave the island after he asked this question?
Because, you know, he, then he kind of knows something's going on either way.
The document said, go down here for a minute.
David Copperfield was at a dinner at Epstein's and there was another girl present who looked young.
And Joanna asked what school she went to and Joanna did not recognize the school name as being a college.
And she said it was possible that it was a high school aged girl.
Joanna said, Copperfield questioned me if I was aware that girls were getting paid to find other girls.
Huh.
And there's all those weird notes, too, like the jackpot thing we saw earlier.
Yeah, get some of those up.
David Copperfield's notes when he got to the island.
None of this suggests any wrongdoing.
David Copperfield is like, and now my trick, I will make these 15-year-old girls disappear.
So this is weird.
Yeah.
This is odd.
This is an important message.
Mr. David Copperfield, this is for Jeffrey.
Time 5.36, I guess a.m. or p.m.
I can't see.
He will be receiving later.
Arriving later.
And he will be expecting.
He will be arriving later.
He will be expecting.
He will be arriving later and he will be expecting for Jeffrey Epstein, David Copperfield, the date, my birthday, January 22nd, 2005.
I was, of course, not born in 2005.
I was born in 1902.
But the message for Jeffrey Epstein from someone speaking on behalf of David Copperfield.
Yes.
It's jackpot is the message.
It's jackpot.
I don't know what that means, but I'll tell you this.
It doesn't suggest any wrongdoing.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
Just because you've sent a human trafficker a message visiting his island does not suggest NBC is telling you it does not suggest any wrongdoing.
Now, if Donald Trump in flight inflates the price of a condo by 80 grand, he should be given the death penalty.
But NBC is letting us know that it's just not that big of a deal.
None of this is that big of a deal.
The message is to visiting the, pretty soon, by the way, the new spin on this, because the spin already the media is doing is kind of brilliant.
The media is doing this thing where they're going to, so what?
So what?
Because remember, the media is all implicated too.
The media is compromised.
The media's got problems you couldn't even imagine, right?
So they just have to come out, and we're talking about the people who own these companies and all this stuff.
Everybody knows what's going on.
So they are instructing their anchors to just basically go out and just basically be like, listen, of course, this is the spin the media is putting on this, which is actually kind of hilarious.
The spin on this is that Jeffrey Epstein opened a phone book in New York City and picked these people's names out because they sounded rich.
And somehow they ended up in these court filings.
But other than that, we cannot draw any conclusions from this.
We can draw no conclusion.
Now, remember, it's the same group of people that if somebody at Mar-a-Lago had a meeting with a guy whose brother knew a guy who went to Russia and met Putin, shook his hand.
The labyrinth of connections that were being used to justify this idea that the Russiagate thing was real.
This is the same media that was coming up with the steel dossier, these memos, the piss tape, all these weird conspiracies that were like held together by essentially nothing, right?
Conjecture and all of this downright lies, all of this stuff kind of being packaged together.
They're now telling you that actual credible, genuine evidence, documents from a court don't really suggest anything.
They don't mean anything.
And by the way, they're not going to find out what it means.
This is the other thing.
The media is basically going like this.
Hey, hey, guys, we don't know what it means and you don't know what it means and we're not going to try to find out what it means.
So we'll just all live with the mystery.
We don't know.
This doesn't suggest any wrongdoing.
Would you think that it's enough to maybe start investigating a little of the wrongdoing?
Do you think that's enough?
But they're not doing any of that.
Their job, pretty soon, it's coming where they're going to say visiting the island was not a thing either.
They're going to go, so what?
Yeah, people went to an island.
That doesn't mean anything.
Yes, they went to a pedophile orgy island, but it's not, it doesn't mean that anything was going on.
The only one who did anything was David Copperson.
They're going to come on TV and they're going to say that David Copperfield ran this whole operation and that Clinton was there to stop David Copperfield from molesting the girls.
That's what we're going to be told.
Bill Clinton found out about this and he went to that island 25 times to try to shut it down, to try to stop it.
Bill and his lesbian wife got on the plane to try to stop it from happening because he was chasing David.
But it was so hard to keep chasing David Copperfield because David kept making Epstein's jet disappear.
So that's why Clinton had to keep going back to the island to shut it down.
This is what the media is going to do.
They're going to do this over the next couple of days and weeks.
They're going to do this.
They're going to go, hey, they're going to go, we are just aghast at what has happened.
We just cannot believe it.
We don't understand.
Get some other random media coverage.
Get a CBS.
Get anybody up there.
Because I've been watching some of these and it really doesn't matter which one you watch.
I mean, Fox might be a little different, but the tenor of the coverage, and I don't even know if Fox is that different, the tenor, because there's a lot of Republicans implicated in this shit, too.
Here we go.
So this is CBS.
Here's the good people.
It's CBS News.
Let's see what they're doing.
Naming people connected to Jeffrey Epstein have been unsealed.
The documents include nearly 950 pages.
Last month, a federal judge ruled the names of Epstein's alleged victims and those connected to him must be made public.
Epstein was indicted on federal sex trafficking charges in 2019.
Media Handling Victims00:15:33
He later died by suicide.
Publication does not imply knowledge of his alleged crimes or involvement in them.
The names are part of a lawsuit against him.
You're right.
This is, by the way, this is line number one.
This is line one in every news thing.
Line one.
They don't get to it later.
First of all, died by suicide, repeated that lie.
We all know it's a lie.
We know the, you know, the guards were asleep or whatever.
We all know the whole thing.
Selma was like, you know, I'm not even going to rehash it, but we know.
But it's, again, CBS going, a publication does not imply knowledge of his crimes.
Now, here's the deal.
Here's the deal, okay?
In what other news case have they done this?
In what other case?
And by the way, I'm not saying that everybody in the documents is guilty.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying in what other news case do they feel the need to go out and say, just because these names are being bandied about, does it mean they did anything wrong?
This is the first thing they say.
In what other news case does the president, an ex-president of the United States mentioned over 50 times in these documents, the first thing you say is, well, there's nothing illegal here.
Nobody knows anything.
You have to believe that all of this is an accident, that all of these people are just an accident.
It's a complete accident that they're all being mentioned.
They had no idea.
What are you talking about?
These are the wealthiest people in the world.
They can go anywhere they want on vacation.
Okay?
They can go anywhere they want.
They're the richest people in the world.
They can go anywhere they want.
They lead countries.
They can go anywhere.
This is not a bunch of my friends from Long Island who would just go to the French Virgin Islands.
Really?
This is the wealthiest people in the world.
They do not need to go to this island.
There's no reason they're going to this island with this guy This is not there they can travel they can charter planes They have other friends with planes The people in the media act like Jeffrey Epstein owned the one private plane available from 2005 to 2020 It's like that's not there's a whole industry I have a lovely jet broker named Dirk.
He's a large man from Boca Raton.
He can get you private jet.
Epstein is not the only guy with the jet.
This idea that he's the only person with a jet the media look straight in the face, go.
There's no indication that anybody on the jet did anything wrong.
People need to take jets.
What are they gonna do walk?
Where are they gonna go?
So it's interesting that it's the.
It's not only that they're saying it.
They're not saying it at the end, they're saying in the beginning.
They're saying in the beginning because they're gonna claim they're all.
They're all afraid of vigilanteism and vigilante justice, and I understand that mob justice is not good.
Now they this is the reason that they're coming out with these disclaimers.
They're gonna say that they're gonna go.
Well, people are endangered by their names being out there and there's some truth to that.
So why don't you do the work of figuring out who the?
Who did it?
Why don't you do the work of figuring out why?
The ex-president's name?
Who's gonna be fine, as secret service protection is fine.
And these billion?
I'm not worried about these billionaires.
By the way, i'm not really worried about the guy that runs Hyatt right, isn't he named the guy who runs Hyatt?
We're worried about the guy who runs Hyatt his safety.
It's not true.
These are the same people that don't care at all about.
Remember those dumb story about those Covington kids.
They were doxing them.
They weren't concerned about the safety of those kids.
They weren't concerned about the safety of anybody.
They don't care about the safety.
This is a hilarious angle, by the way.
It's a hilarious angle.
Well, we got a safety of the people named in the document.
They don't care.
They don't care about due process, they don't care about safety.
They don't care about anything.
The media is driven by only likes uh clicks shares eyeballs, views.
This is what they do.
This is all that they do.
This is how they stay alive.
So when they come out and they go well, we just want to let you know that all of the people named here it says nothing to do with the Uh Epstein being a human trafficker.
This is just people that kind of knew him and and i'm sure some of that Is true.
I'm sure there's a guy that was like, what's going on?
There's always some guy that gets roped into something and he's sitting there going, wait a minute, what?
There are people that ended up in places they shouldn't have been, but it's not all of them.
And it's probably not even the majority of people.
Like, there's probably a lot of people.
I'm not saying that there aren't people that just were on the jet or whatever.
But when you're talking about repeat trips to the island, you're talking about people asking questions, people visiting and hanging out with this guy after he'd already been convicted of the first massage gone wrong, which again, he was just basically like, I got a massage from this bitch and she lied about her age.
You know, you know, these girls are always lying and massaging you.
Finish a little bit.
Let's see a little bit more of how they handle this.
The great people, CBS News, just want to let you know that everything's good.
Jelaine Maxwell, who was sentenced to 20 years in prison for sex trafficking young girls for Epstein.
Well, CBS News correspondent Nancy Chen joins me now.
Okay, Nancy, there's a lot to sift through.
What do you know?
There is.
We are going through this right now.
We have a team combating and attacking this big dog.
We've just got 40 documents in total.
More than, as you mentioned, 940 pages plus.
We have a team going through this right now.
We'll make sure to bring you updates.
But here's what we do.
It's important to note that being named, as you mentioned, does not necessarily mean that someone had knowledge of or involvement in Epstein's crimes.
Nancy Chen, stop that.
Nancy Chen now coming in here hot.
Nancy's coming in hot.
She's coming in hot.
She's like, I just want to reiterate to the fucking retards who watch this network.
Many of you are old.
You got pills falling out of your mouths.
You're drooling.
You're basically dead.
What we want to let you know for the 19th time, we're coming in hot.
None of this means that anyone did anything wrong.
These are just names on a piece of paper.
Like your name could be on it or your friend's name could be on it.
No one did anything.
No one did nothing here.
This is separate.
There's Jeffrey Epstein, the human trafficker.
And then there's this thing that we got, which is a whole nother thing.
That's the way the media is handling this.
This is different.
This is a whole nother thing.
Let's continue with Nancy Chen.
Of accusers along with potential witnesses.
Underage accusers were kept under seal here.
That said, nearly 190 J-Does were mentioned in these documents.
They're tied to a civil lawsuit against Epstein's accomplice, Ghelane Maxwell, who is now serving, as you mentioned, a 20-year prison sentence for helping Epstein groom and sexually abuse underage girls.
Her accuser, Virginia Duffrey, says she was trafficked when she was 17 to Britain's Prince Andrew, who has denied her allegations.
They settled out of court in 2022.
But Epstein, a convicted sex offender, died by suicide in jail in 2019 while awaiting trial for sex trafficking.
I do want to point out that two people connected to today's release have asked for their names to stay under seal, and a judge granted those requests temporarily as their objections remained under review.
So we're going to continue going through this.
There's a lot to sift through and we'll make sure that they've said nothing.
Okay.
It's amazing how they say nothing.
They go, there's a lot, there's a lot.
There's a lot to go through here.
We got a crack team in the back.
By the way, does anyone believe that?
Does anyone, does anyone believe that CBS News has a team of people going through these documents?
Does anyone gun to your head?
You know what it is, right?
You go in the back of CBS News, there's like a fat guy.
He's eating, you know, it's New York, they're all New York.
He's eating like a, like a, like a, you know, like a pinwheel from a pizzeria, like a pepperoni pinwheel.
And it's kind of like...
He's like pulled it apart and the cheese is kind of concealed.
It's kind of gross.
And he's like dunking it in the sauce and she's kind of gnawing at it like a rat would.
And he's got this, you know, he's got like the Epstein, all the docs up.
And like, it's his job to like make sense out of this.
That's the best case scenario.
I was like, one day, they put one fat idiot on it.
And they're like, what do you think?
And he's like, oh, no, there's a lot of people named in here.
There's a fucking lot of people getting fucked up over there.
It's not cracked.
Twitter's ripped it all apart.
X. Sorry.
X has, of course, broken it down quicker.
I gave a quote to Barry Weiss and the free press.
I did a little funny joke.
Barry Weiss and the free press will be printing that.
If they don't print it, I will sue them because I wrote it.
But we'll be moving on shortly from this story, but this is interesting.
It is developing.
And I just want to say that while I cover this story, I want to let my audience know, my viewers, my listeners, people that have listened to this show, some of them seven or eight years, that just because I'm talking about the names of these people that have been mentioned, it does not imply that I think they did anything wrong.
I think they're all fine, upstanding people.
I think they're all great people.
I think it's probably a situation where there's some type of accident that happened where they all ended up on a human trafficker's island multiple times.
It's happened.
It happens.
Layovers, you know, shit happens.
I wanted to, it's a sad story now.
Lisa's Lounge.
This is a bar in Long Island, New York.
I spent many of my formative years here.
Many fans of this show know about Lisa's Lounge because it is something that I have talked about ad nauseum in the early episodes.
To all my, so this is a, this is two days ago.
Somebody shared this with me from a Facebook group.
I did not know Lisa's Lounge was on Facebook.
I didn't follow them.
To all my Lisa's Lounge family and friends, after 22 years, the doors are officially closed for good.
We wanted to take the time to thank all the patronage and bartenders that have helped us thrive over the years.
We are now on to a new year and a new chapter.
Happy new year.
And cheers to the future.
And then can you make that picture big?
Yeah.
And this is a little celebration.
I believe they had the end.
There's the end of Lisa's Lounge.
That's sad, isn't it?
Man, I wish I stayed there, huh?
Well, there it is.
The end of Lisa's Lounge.
A great place.
I used to sit at that bar and drink almost a bottle of vodka every night.
Wow.
Well, we wish everyone well.
Maybe that'll be their last night of drinking.
And then after that, all right, take it down, please.
Take it down.
It's giving me flashbacks.
I want to say that no one in that photo, just because they're in that photo, does not mean that they're consuming alcohol and or doing cocaine.
Just because they're in that photo, that doesn't mean that's what they're doing.
It does not suggest that that's the activities that are happening.
We don't know this crazy article I read, 200 hours to maintain your, by the way, just before I say goodbye to Lisa's Lounge, I will say that everyone in their life at one point, I do not trust you if you haven't had a watering hole, some type of dirtbag bar.
I don't trust people that only frequent clubs or lounges or, you know, high-end establishments.
My father said to me once, when I was telling him I was like an alcoholic, he said, listen, a dirtbag bar, he goes, the corner bars played a role in every Dylan's life.
He goes, I was like, well, that's not really.
I have a real problem.
He's like, your uncle Tommy had Buckley's.
He goes, I had a place called the Bitter End.
I'm like, that's not, but okay.
But I will say this.
I will say this about having a good dirtbag bar.
You learn a lot about the world from places like that.
There is this idea in our culture now that the only place you can learn things from is the, number one, the digital space, or even more importantly, you could only learn things from successful people.
This is like the real interesting, because it wasn't always like that, by the way.
All of these parables in the Bible and the, you know, literature forever has focused on like a lot of the greatest literary characters, Don Quixote, Willie Loman, any of these people, right?
They've been failures.
They've been delusional.
They've been miscreants.
They've been near-do-wells.
But now we're only learning anything from like successful people or people that pretend to be successful.
And that's kind of unfortunate because a good corner bar, a good gin mill, a good watering hole will show you how not to live.
It's important to know how not to live.
It's important to know what giving up is.
It's important to know, truly, really.
It's important to know what it looks like when you let the things that you battle with win.
It's important to know what it feels like to have no, absolutely no fight left in you.
And that's what a lot of those bars will open your eyes up to.
Knowing How Not To Live00:02:33
Because again, the first few times you go, it really is a lot of fun and everybody's goofy and silly and people are laughing maniacally.
They're charged up.
It's a madhouse in those places because that is it for those people.
That is it.
You might be stopping in ironically or you might be going in to see what the deal is.
Their lives are that bar.
They are there as much as they can be 24-7.
So they're in their element.
They're having an uncomfortable amount of fun sometimes.
And then when they have breakdowns and they get really sad, they're also there.
They don't leave.
They don't go away to have their moments.
Everything, the whole tapestry of life, the highs and lows are there.
And, you know, it's good to see what that is like.
And I did it when I was in my early to mid-20s and then got out of that and decided I wanted to have another life, which I also recommend.
But I will say this: I don't regret the time I spent sitting in that bar, drinking alcohol with people, doing cocaine, you know, and talking about nothing.
Because that's what those bars are.
You don't really talk about anything.
I'd sit in there.
People's children would come in crying and go.
They'd try, you know, a woman would come in and she'd try to drag her husband out.
She'd be like, you've been here three days.
You have a daughter.
You disgust me.
And he'd be like, fuck you.
Get out of here.
And the girl, the daughter, the 11-year-old daughter would be behind him, behind her.
And he'd be like, I can't believe you're using her to come in here and make a point.
And then she'd leave and the kid and her are crying and she'd leave.
And the guy looks at me.
He goes, she's very selfish.
I go, I can tell.
I can see how she'd be a problem.
And I go, that was very performative, bringing the daughter in here.
I go, I don't like that one bit.
And he goes, I agree.
And then we would, you know, do shots and drink.
It is a nice time to kind of connect with different people, but you should learn exactly where your threshold is.
Where is your limit?
How big of a piece of shit are you willing to be?
David Carr, who's a media reporter for the New York Times, wrote a book called The Night of the Gun.
Blue Chew Promo Code00:02:55
He's smoking crack.
He's looking at his two kids in the back of the car.
David Carr said, I was prepared to be a bad person, but I wasn't prepared to be a bad father.
A lot of the people I hung out with were prepared to be bad fathers, but they weren't prepared to not be fun because they were fun.
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Hi, Mikhail.
Hey, Gustaf will be with me today.
Can he have to eat with us?
Yes, of course.
What is it for middag?
I have a grønnsak-suppe.
What?
We can't eat that.
We are carnivore.
All are carnivore now, Papa.
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The Epidemic Of Loneliness00:11:22
It's the end of the case.
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Always get the price for fruit and green.
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I think tomato is my favorite.
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It's like tomato is a fruit.
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Half a kg of gullrot for only 19,90.
And 200 g of gullrot for only 19,90.
It's the end of the case.
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Always get the price.
Is it?
This article makes no sense.
They are the end of the time.
It's good for you to be able to manipulate it.
I can do this for you.
I can't do that.
It takes at least 200 hours to make a close friendship and more to maintain it.
This is completely insane.
What is this?
The Wall Street Journal?
Yeah.
So, whenever the Wall Street Journal writes an article like this, by the way, it is simply trying to get you to buy stocks or something.
Like, the Wall Street Journal has no interest in social behavior outside of the paradigm of capitalism.
They don't care.
They don't care.
It does not interest or fascinate them.
So, whenever they put this stuff out, it's like when Bloomberg or Barons or any of these financial things writes about culture, it's always because they want you in some way to be a better unit of production, and this is why they're writing it.
They're not writing it because they have like an interest in your spiritual life, you know.
You know, that article that came out where they were like, You don't need dining rooms, the dining room's going out of style.
Who needs hallways?
You know, just have a door from one room to the next.
Like, they're doing that so you get used to less and less.
And you walk into a house one day that's going to look like a shelter and you go, That's fine because I read that no one needs dining rooms anymore.
They're preparing you for the type of life they kind of want you to live.
Many of us worry that we don't put in enough time to maintain close friendships, but how much is enough?
As we trek further into adulthood, many of our friends fall away.
It's understandable.
Family and jobs become more demanding and free time more limited.
Yet, because of the Wall Street Journal, we may want to meet a close friend for coffee or dinner, but our calendars are full with work, must-do appointments, meetings, or kids' activities.
About 88% of U.S. adults say they have lost touch with a close friend at some point, and 71% would like to rekindle that relationship, according to a 2020 survey.
Huh, four in 10 Americans have said they didn't have a best friend at all.
This is the epidemic of loneliness.
This is a big thing now, by the way.
This is a big deal.
We're reading about this all the time.
Research on the science of friendship does offer some insights that can help you maintain friendships.
Among the lessons, be realistic about how many good friendships you can reasonably maintain.
And then they go into the science of friendship.
Huh?
Unfortunately, like this: unfortunately, for the hyper-efficient among us, there's no magic formula for how much time you need to spend on your friends to keep them.
Can you imagine the sickness of this art, like inside the insanity of this article?
How insane this is.
This is a sentence I'm going to read again.
This is in the Wall Street Journal.
Someone printed this in the Wall Street Journal.
This is not like a paper that is, you know, you line a litterbox with it.
the Wall Street Journal.
Unfortunately for the hyper-efficient amongst us, among us, there's no magic formula for how much time you need to spend on your friends to keep them.
Each friendship and friend is unique and thrives or withers depending on how we interact.
Hey, thanks, guys.
Thanks so much.
One of the most powerful papers in the world that has decided, by the way, during a time when we have a war in the Middle East where 30,000 people are killed, I believe the vast majority of them children, that we are bankrolling.
We have a, we're about to go to war with the Yemeni Houthi rebels or whatever.
The global balance of power is shifting and realigning all the time.
We are now in $34 trillion worth of debt as a country.
The Wall Street Journal, a paper who's created a lot of these problems, is writing about buddies.
They're writing articles about your buddy and where your buddy, where's my buddy go?
Hey, where did my, where did, they're killing children in Gaza right now at a pace that is like un even Jewish people now are going, hey, they're choosing to write about where was your buddy go?
Did your buddy leave?
Where did your buddy go?
Your buddy got on a different bus and he moved to a different town.
This is written for five-year-olds.
What's happening is like all of these articles are written now like you're like, let's pretend you were a human being.
They're written like you're already AI and you're becoming a human.
Listen to this.
In order to move from casual friends to close friends, you need to spend an additional 140 to 160 hours together for a total of about 200 hours.
That's completely untrue.
That is a complete lie.
That is completely untrue.
That is not true.
I have close friends and I've not spent 200 hours with them.
That's completely untrue.
Conversely, spending 200 hours together doesn't necessarily mean a person will become a close friend.
Of course it doesn't.
Who is this for?
Who is writing these articles at the Wall Street?
Like there's nothing else going on?
200 members of the ruling class just saying I got to expose it in a document as potential pedophiles at the Wall Street Journal is like, you and your buddy have lunch?
Sometimes your buddy won't like the lunch you like.
I don't know why I'm doing an Adam Sandler voice, but it just feels correct.
But it is insane that this is what they're choosing to write about.
And this is all cockamame science.
It's not true.
There's no science.
This is not science.
You have to spend 200 hours with someone before they like you.
That's not science.
When it comes to maintaining friendships, it's not just the number of hours you spend together, but what you do that matters.
Hall says, based on research, what research?
I mean, this is crazy.
Send that text.
Here's what it comes down to.
Here's what they want.
Send that text.
We generally don't need to maintain friendships with one of our two best friends, says sociologist Jen Yeager, who researches friendships and has written several books on the subject.
She frequently texts or calls her best friend from college who lives about three hours away.
It's important, she says, to recognize you are truly busy.
Here's the thing with friendships.
They all have golden ages.
This is the truth.
There are certain friends that you have for a very long time, but you never quite recapture the golden age of your friendship.
This is completely normal in life.
It's normal that your circle gets smaller.
And I know there is an epidemic of loneliness in the country.
And a lot of that's because our lives are digital now.
And a lot of those lives are empty and unfulfilling.
And digital communities aren't the most supportive, fulfilling.
And, you know, I guess maybe the answer, I guess, will be they're going to become more immersive and then they will feel more real.
But as of right now, it's kind of empty.
It's not seeing people and being face to face and being in, you know, there's a book, Bowling Alone, written about this, and it's a pretty good book about, you know, the collapse of like those social communities that, you know, held people together, whether it was Knights of Columbus or whatever.
But it's just funny that this is the most obvious article that anyone could write about anything.
And growing up and evolving and you learn all this stuff, and I just don't know why these papers now are treating us like we're six.
I don't think that's a good sign that big papers right now are treating us like we're six.
Like it's a very strange dynamic, the way they're speaking.
This is the Wall Street Journal.
People who read this have a little bit going on.
This is not like the New York Post or something.
This is like the Wall Street Journal where it's like the people who read this are supposed to be like higher and they're like, sometimes your friend moves away and you don't have that friend anymore.
It's like, guys, why are we focusing an inordinate amount of words on this very understandable concept that friendships change and some of them get better or worse over time?
And by the way, that's every relationship in your life.
That's your wife, your husband, your family.
It's all about the time you put in.
I just don't, it's such a strange thing.
This is not only this particular article.
It's a whole spate of these articles now that are being written like we are.
Like it terrifies me, this article is in the Wall Street Journal.
How scary it is.
They will write about anything except Epstein.
They will write about anything except this.
I mean, the social science of friendships.
When was this published?
A couple of days ago?
Is it a long time ago?
Yesterday.
Two days ago.
Yesterday, two days ago.
They're like, yeah, you know, we just want to listen to this, ready?
Go up a little bit here.
Arthur Aaron, a research professor in the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University, developed a procedure to study interpersonal closeness in the lab.
Researchers provided pairs of strangers three sets of increasingly personal questions.
For example, they might start with, when did you last sing yourself?
And progress to, when did you last cry in front of another person?
They found that strangers in this fast friend study could establish interpersonal closeness in 45 minutes.
The takeaway was that sharing things about yourself can lead to close friendships.
I mean, can you imagine this?
Can you imagine this?
The takeaway?
The takeaway is that sharing things about yourself can lead to close.
I mean, this is like, this is mind-blowing.
I was reading this going like, is this real?
Are we, is this, is this AI?
Are they like trying out a system to write articles?
Like, this is the Wall Street Journal telling you that sharing close stuff can make your friend.
Biden Election Strategy00:09:11
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Duh.
This is crazy.
Once that closeness is established, Aaron says that some ways to maintain closeness are supporting friends when things go wrong for them and celebrating their achievements.
This is for the robots.
This has got to be for this has got to be for like autonomous human bots.
And they're just writing it and they're throwing it in the Wall Street Journal.
It terrifies me that this is how stupid people are getting, that we need articles like this, or that articles like this automatically don't become jokes.
I'll tell you this.
This is another thing that I've been thinking about as we head into this election because Joe Biden is out there.
He's campaigning at some not too happy places.
He's going into Biden kicking off 2024 by delving into some of the country's darkest moments, the Associated Press.
That's nice.
A lot of people think the move when you're running a presidential campaign is to be positive and remind people that you are a positive force.
That's not the case.
This guy is going to Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, where George Washington and the Continental Army spent a bleak winter near 250 years ago.
Okay.
Then he's going to Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston, where nine people were shot and killed in a June 15 white supremacist attack.
Oh boy, it's not exactly the fun run, is it?
No.
He's going to some really bleak places.
Well, I think he's leaning into this idea.
You know, he's old.
He's decrepit.
It would, I guess, be weird to see him at like the opening of Six Flags.
So he's going to a gym.
I mean, he's going to a church where there was a massacre and he's going to Valley Forge.
It's dark.
It's going to be an interesting election.
I like that's where we're starting it here.
Yeah.
This is our baseline.
Our baseline is the Mother Emmanuel Church, Valley Forge.
A lot of people died here.
A lot of death.
That's how he's kicking it off.
He's kicking off with a lot of death and he's going to remind people that things are bad.
Things can get a lot worse.
That's what he's going to remind people.
He's going to remind people that I'm running for president because horrible things have happened.
That's the, that's the, that's the, that seems to be the campaign's early focus.
I'm running for president because terrible things have happened in this country and they could happen again.
And that's why I'm here to run for president because I am all that is standing between you and more terrible things.
Terror.
What's that line from Game of Thrones?
The night is dark and full of terrors.
Joe Biden, 2024.
The night is dark.
You get that priestess from Game of Thrones.
That's who should do the commercial.
She's like, the Lord of light, the Lord of light.
The night is dark and full of terrors.
Biden, 2024.
That's where he's where he's starting.
He's starting there.
Where do you go if you start at Valley Forge?
Only up.
Only up.
You'd think.
You would think.
Gettysburg.
Yeah, it might get even worse.
He might leave the country.
You might see the next commercial he does might be from Auschwitz, you know?
I'm Joe Biden here at Auschwitz.
That might be where he goes.
He might just go to the scene of mass graves everywhere, which I support.
I may vote for him.
If Joe Biden conducts an entirely mass grave campaign, it'll be hard not to get my vote because it's just where I live.
You know, so if he just, for every week, if he's broadcasting from the site of another massacre, like if he's like, and this is where the Comanches, you know, just killed all the settlers, cut their throats, and they all bled out, even the babies, even the babies.
If he somehow finds a way to do that, it'll be difficult to, you know, to not get a little bit excited.
But that's an interesting strategy.
Like people in strategy room are like, listen, they think you're old.
They think you're out of touch.
Here's what we'll do.
You need to show them that horrible things happen.
Horrible, horrible, horrible, terrible things.
Because when people are thinking about these horrible, terrible things, you will seem by comparison, not such a big deal that you don't know where you are or what you're saying.
But we need to remind people how bleak it can get so that you seem like the logical choice.
Because he is the logical choice.
If that is the country that you're in every day in your head, the tragedy at that church was horrible, by the way, and that kid should have been executed.
I don't know if he was or not.
But if that's where you live, like if you wake up every day and that's the mentality you're in and or you're thinking somehow about the rough winter that the Continental Army had at Valley Forge, if that's where you are mentally, then I think that's the, the Biden campaign wants you to be there.
That's where they want you to be.
They want you to be in a place where, you know, there's darkness out there and it's coming for you.
And you just gotta, you just gotta not let it eat you alive.
And the only way to not let it eat you alive is kind of like Joe Biden's being put out there as like the giver.
There was that book that Lois Lowry wrote that all these young, we all read when we were young kids.
And it was this one guy who takes all the pain of the world.
And that's now Joe Biden.
This elderly, dementia-ridden man is being paraded in front of these mass graves to tell people that, yes, horrible, nasty, terrible things happen, but don't worry about it.
He's got it.
He's got it.
He's the one.
He breathes in the terror.
He knows what it's like.
He's going to protect you.
It would be hilarious if Joe Biden gets up at Valley Forge or that church and he starts talking about like the Epstein thing.
And he goes, you know, a lot of names came out.
Jeffrey Epstein, you know, he'll say he's a bad dude.
He says he's a bad dude.
But he'll go, but because people had their names mentioned does not imply that they did anything wrong.
They did not.
You got to understand, man, that just because those people are mentioned, they didn't do anything wrong.
And then everyone's like, okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Thank you so much.
And this is the Joe Biden graveyard campaign.
Trump is kind of legally now trying to get himself on the ballot.
One guy is trying to get himself back on the ballot because he's being kicked off the ballot because he's got issues.
The other guy is starting his campaign stops at the scene of mass death.
It's going to be a fun, fun season.
Going to be a fun, fun season watching all of this play out.
Going to be very, very interesting.
Tim DylanComedy.com.
We're on the road.
Go there, get tickets.
We're not going to bother you and tell you where we're going to be.
It's going to, it'll be annoying to keep reading those dates.
You support us.
We're doing very well.
We are added our third show in Boston.
Come see us at the Wilbur Theater.
And we love everybody here.
We love all of you.
That's your friend.
You're friends.
If you're friends with your friend, they'll be your friend.
And we'll watch the Epstein story continue to develop.
And as always, we will rely on the analysis of a disinterested and compromised media who will be a lot of fun in the cold months of January.
Not too cold anymore, actually.
It's kind of nice in New York.
People are wearing shorts.
Nice, nice, nice.
Well, you know, I was so I wanted my dad's name or someone to be mentioned in those Epstein docs, but my near-do-well parents, again, have failed me.
Watching Epstein Develop00:00:16
And how cool would it have been?
You know, it's like, it would have been like shitty that he was a pedophile, but I would have been like, wow, really?