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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Winning With Decorum00:12:38
Hey, everybody.
Happy 4th of July.
Is it 4th of July?
Happy 4th of July weekend to all of you.
And YouTube's gunning for us.
They're going to nuke us.
We got two strikes right now.
One of them expires in 90 days.
And we're releasing a best of Patreon episode this week so that you guys have something to listen to over the 4th of July.
We're always on Patreon.
And we will be back on YouTube soon.
We don't know when.
We are also exploring the option of releasing to Twitter exclusively while we have this strike from YouTube.
In the 90 days that it may expire, we may go to, may start exclusively on Twitter.
We're having high-level conversations.
We hope you enjoy this.
This was some of the funniest stuff that we've done over the last couple of months.
And we hope you have a great 4th of July.
And we will see you somewhere soon.
First of all, to just briefly touch on the Academy Awards.
Everything Everywhere All at Once is an annoying movie.
You liked it, right?
Yeah.
Right.
But it's annoying and it won everything.
And you saw the Banshees of Inishirin.
I did.
But you liked the other one better.
Yes.
Why?
Because it just had more Razzle Dazzle.
Yeah.
Well, that's...
Well, go watch Razzle Dazzle.
Bert, our friend Bert just dropped the Razzle Dazzle.
Yeah, I mean, you're stupid.
I mean, you're a stupid person.
And listen, there's nothing wrong with being stupid.
I don't mean you, you know?
I'm just saying if you liked Everything Everywhere All at Once better than the Banshees of Inishirin, you're not smart.
And there's nothing wrong with not being smart.
In fact, it's a preferable way to live.
The Banshees of Inishirin is this brilliant exploration of modernity, a closed world that's slowly opening, you know, this island that these people live in through this dark Irish fairy tale.
The Banshees of Inishirin is kind of brilliant.
And then this other thing where it's like everything everywhere all at once is fine, but it's being lauded as like this great film.
And it's just not.
It's a little annoying.
It's shrill.
It's, you know, and this is the best we can do, which is terrifying to me.
Like, this is all we can do here.
And I don't know.
You watch the Academy Awards and, you know, Jamie Lee Curtis is up there and going like, you want an Oscar and you and my family want it.
My husband want an Oscar and you want an.
And it's like, oh boy.
Oh boy.
Like it's just, and then people going up crying and I'm happy for these people that they're winning, but they're up there crying and screaming.
There's no decorum anymore.
I understand you're representing your people.
I understand that.
I'm happy for you.
But there's a word called decorum.
Decorum.
Get up decorum, please.
Get up the dictionary definition of decorum because we need to introduce that a little bit more into society.
Here we are.
Decorum, noun, behavior in keeping with good taste and propriety.
You exhibit remarkable modesty and decorum.
So when you win an award at the Academy Awards, you go up there, you thank your fifth grade teacher who told you you had the stuff, that you were good.
You thank God, maybe you thank mom and dad.
You thank the director, the fellow co-stars, maybe you craft a cute little anecdote or something, and then you get out of there.
We don't need to cry.
We don't need to scream.
You don't need to carry the weight of your entire ethnic group on your shoulders at all times.
You don't.
I wouldn't.
I wouldn't get up there and be the win for gay people.
Remember when gay people weren't winning and they are because I'm me.
Listen, you don't need to carry the entire weight of the entire experience of your ethnic group in America for an award show speech.
This is my two cents that you pay me for.
You don't need to get up there crying and screaming like you've just unlocked a secret key to dignity and self-respect and self-worth that because you're being handed a statue, your life has validity and meaning now.
That's absurd.
That's not what we should do.
We should have decorum where you get up there and yes, you can acknowledge if it's a historic thing and, you know, there has never been a person of your group represented before.
There's a way to acknowledge it without the hysterics, the histrionics, the hysterics.
People are straight up getting out there.
They're like, this is a back.
And you go, you go like, you go, what's going on?
Let's just rein it in a little bit.
So you're watching the Academy Awards and you're watching this stuff and Jamie Lee Curtis is up there being like, I acted in all those genre films.
It's like, your dad's Tony Curtis.
What are you mad about?
The fuck are you complaining about genre films?
It's people eating fucking in the street.
It's just the cringe level.
Remember when people were cool?
Remember when you look at actors and you go, Jack Nicholson's fucking cool?
Denzel Washington's cool?
This is good.
It's good.
It's completely not the case anymore.
It's completely not the case where it's like the cringe level of people in that profession.
It has reached a fever pitch where people now just turn it off because it's crazy.
And it's not always about the woke.
You know, people, everything's, there's a knee-jerk reaction, just be like, woke, woke, well, it's not only that.
It's a hyper-emotionalism that's very womanly.
And I don't mean womanly in like a gendered way per se, even though the word womanly would sort of suggest that I'm doing that.
But what I mean is the worst kind of womanly in the way that like the worst kind of masculine behavior would be like bullying and being obstinate and obtuse and thick-headed, whatever.
The worst kind of feminine behavior is like hysterics, histrionics.
And it's this hyper-emotional state that everybody is in now that's reflected in these Academy Awards acceptance speeches where people come up and they're genuinely, you know, like, you know, in the midst of a manic episode, you know, for a few minutes.
And I just think it's so unappealing to people.
It's so it's so revealing in a way that it's like, oh, those character you played that we might have loved and fallen in love with and we think is cool.
And, you know, the only one I've seen have really good speeches is Jennifer Coolidge.
They're always funny.
They're self-deprecating.
They're real.
She's teared up, but there's also so much laughter in them.
She's really good at it.
She can craft a story and a narrative.
It's like a comedian.
But then a lot of people just get up and they're weirdly like entitled.
And it's, you know, just regular people watching this stuff that don't have the, you know, that don't have the, you know, lives that a lot of the people they're watching have.
And they don't have those opportunities and never did.
It was never in the cards.
And yes, whatever.
Some of them didn't work for it or whatnot.
But, you know, you want to have people have a little humility and dignity and grace.
This is something that is completely missing from our society, humility, dignity, and grace.
We have none of it.
It's a hyper-emotional society where people are walking around constantly in the midst of a manic episode that they're going to inflict on you.
And if you notice it and point it out, you have become a problem.
You have become an issue.
And this is when you watch these Academy Award speeches, a perfect example of it.
Can you get up the speech from the guy from everyone?
You know, the guy who went, and I mean, it's a cute guy.
He's an older guy, sweet guy, and he's happy.
But there's mania.
There's a manic behavior here.
You know, where it's like, just, there's something where you go, let's just, let's calm it down a little bit.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My mom is 84 years old.
First of all, she's at home watching.
Can we just, I understand that that's sweet.
Like my mother's 84, but wouldn't it be, how much cooler is it if he just walked up and he's like, my 84-year-old mother is watching tonight?
You know, like there's just something.
And I'm not trying to be this guy that doesn't think like, you know, people should, you know, they, people should cry if they want or people should be emotional, whatever.
But we've, we've turned this up here to a point where it's like, I think you like, you get the message across more if you're not hysterical.
Mom, I just want an Oscar.
His mother's watching Tucker.
My journey started on a boat.
I spent a year in a refugee camp and somehow I ended up here on holiday.
And so did Jamie Lee Curtis.
They say stories like this only happen in the movies.
I cannot believe it's happening to me.
Well, by the way, people are mad at him a little bit because I think he was in that refugee camp because we went into Vietnam and blew everybody up.
So people like, when he's like, stories only happen, like in the movies, it's like, we went into your country and lit it on fire.
But this is what I mean.
Like, I understand what he's saying.
But it's just when he's like, they say that stories like this only happen in the movies where America goes into your country.
They light the house you live in on fire.
You end up in a refugee camp.
And then years later, you're in a movie and you win an Academy.
And listen, I'm not, I'm not, listen, I understand this is a big moment for the guy.
And there's just a level of, you know, We'll play the rest of it, but there's just a level of like, there's something cool about being cool.
There's something interesting about keeping it together and saying really meaningful things, not dialed up to 11.
Like everything doesn't have to be dialed up to 11.
This is the American dream.
It's not.
The American Dream is not winning an Academy Award at all, but okay.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much to the Academy for this honor of a lifetime.
Thank you to my mom for the sacrifices she made to get me here.
To my little brother, David, who calls me every day just to remind me to take good care of myself.
I love you, brother.
The American Dream Myth00:04:11
Okay.
Thank you to Kendo for all your support and everything you've done.
Thank God I don't have to give any of these.
Thank God.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Man, I meet you, you man.
Thank you.
This is an honor.
I never thought I'd be here.
I've said a lot of things about a lot of people that get these and I've been in this room.
And, you know, I want to thank CAA for believing in me right at the moment I started kind of making money on my own and they swooped in there.
But thank them anyway.
You know, I appreciate them.
You know, I appreciate everybody else who has helped me.
My parents.
Hey, you didn't, you didn't fuck me.
You know, you didn't try to kill me.
And for that, I'm grateful.
But I like also, you know, you were just bad enough at it that I got all the material to, you know, I guess push myself through this.
Thank you to all of my friends who, you know, to varying degrees mean different things on different days.
I think that's pretty reasonable.
But yeah, I mean, I think I don't, you know, but this, you know, this speech, and we're done with it.
I mean, God bless him.
He just, it's just, you know, I'm just asking, I'm not trying to be unreasonable here.
I'm just asking for a little bit of people to not be.
And by the way, Jimmy Lee Curtis, too, her whole thing was like nuts.
And I like, you know, she's a good actress, but like her whole thing was insane too.
And it was just kind of like, get her speech up where you go like, you're like, and I wonder, by the way, I'm looking at the headlines.
I don't think Trump's going to be arrested, but they're certainly not going to perp walk him.
I mean, there is potential that he turns himself in over the Stormy Daniels payments campaign finance violation, which is, you know, silly when we look at all the things presidents have done that could mean Trump's a shady fuck.
His business deals are shady.
He's been shady forever.
But when we look at all the presidents and all the things they've done, illegal wars, legitimizing torture, you know, the idea that, you know, paying off Stormy Daniels or the campaign finance violate, like the idea that that's the one, you know, especially because they built this up as like, they were going to get him on Russia.
They couldn't.
Then they were going on this.
They were going to get him on January 6th.
They were going to get him on this.
They were going to get him.
And they were going to get him on the Ukraine thing.
Remember it was Zelensky.
Remember that?
And now finally they're like, oh, he paid off Stormy Daniels.
It's just, here's Jimmy Lee Curtis.
This is another one where it's like, and she's married to Christopher Guest, who I love, and his movies are amazing.
But this is another one where it's like, just relax a little.
Janet Yang, I wouldn't do it well because I'm a good girl.
I know it looks like I'm standing up here by myself, but I am not.
I am hundreds of people.
I'm hundreds of people.
I am the where the Daniels, Daniels, Jonathan, Leiline, the entire crew, my bae, Michelle, Key, Steph, the entire group of artists who made this movie.
We just won an Oscar.
To my dream team, my agent, Rick Kurtzman, Alan Wertheimer, Heidi Schaefer, Sean James, Grace On, Jane Ross, we just won an Oscar.
To my family, my beautiful husband, Christopher Guest, our daughters, Annie and Ruby, my sister Kelly, we just won an Oscar.
To all of the people who have supported the genre movies that I have made for all these years, the thousands and hundreds of thousands of people.
Will you stop?
We just won an Oscar together.
Stop Stressing Over Tickets00:02:23
It's, I'm telling you right now, I'm telling you right now, it's, it's, it's, they're just gross, these speech.
I don't know what to say.
These people should have other people write them.
I think, and these aren't like bad people.
You know, I don't know them, but I mean, like, they're not, it's not like they don't deserve to be happy.
You don't understand.
Like, it's not, I'm not saying this out of bitterness or anything.
Like, I, I recognize these achievements, but these speeches are just not like that refrain.
It's like, it's just not it.
Just hire someone to on the off chance that you win to write one of these speeches that's a little cool.
That's a little bit more like, you know, just a little, just a little bit fucking, you know, feels cool.
Complain that you've been doing genre movies for a couple of years, for 20 years.
Be fucking grateful.
You're a fucking problem.
Man, it's been, you know, the last time I tried to get Taylor Swift tickets, I was so upset and it was so hard.
I mean, I was sad.
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Drag Queens and Open Mics00:15:31
They are the best.
I think I will just go back to this controversial point.
I think adults should do whatever the fuck they want.
I think when you're over the age of 18 years old, you're allowed to do whatever you want before the age of 18 years old.
Be gay, be trans, be whatever you want to be, but don't alter your body until you really understand the gravity of that decision.
And also don't be in environments that are not appropriate.
Like it's not appropriate.
Listen, a bar is still where people go to get fucked.
People go get drunk at a bar to have sex.
People who are, I don't think drag queens are people who are like on their way to trans.
They just, they've been drag queens for 20 years.
Like they're just, they like doing that.
And they, and it's a different thing.
You're right.
It's a very different thing.
And I have no problem with it, but it's just like.
It's almost like they were like, we can't sell trans with the boring Jeopardy bitch and the rest of these fucking weirdos.
We need some fucking fire.
And that's when it's, it's all, because it really, this is a good point you're making.
The drag thing has become the symbol of trans and it's really not even the same thing.
No, honestly, and I'm not making this statement myself, but I'm surprised that like in the past five to 10 years that there hasn't been pushback on it where it's like people calling it like trans blackface or something.
You know what I mean?
It's like, it's like, I'm surprised they like the trans people and brace it with.
Well, because drag queens have always been, drag queens have always been part of gay community, but it's usually been gay men who dress up like women.
And yeah, you're right.
It isn't, it's the performative aspect of it.
What's crazy to me is like, it's not a sport, really, or a discipline.
So the idea that children, like children doing drag to me is wild and crazy.
And nothing supposed to be a subversive thing.
It's like, it's like, you know, if you imagine yourself we're in the Stonewall era, I guess, or whatever, or in San Francisco in the 70s.
It's like this kind of, you know, it's got this kind of punk rock shoving it in the face of the man kind of thing.
Should I call, should we have someone call Joe Rogan's comedy club, the mothership in Texas, and ask if we can do a drag brunch for kids?
Yes.
That's one I would love to see.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Let me see if Adam Eat, the booker, will answer my call right now on the air.
I think it's just, I think it's just a fun idea.
And let's see if he answers.
Make sure you tell him we're not, we don't want to fuck the kids.
They got to know that.
Listen.
Hey, how are you?
I'm doing fine.
How the fuck are you?
I'm good.
So let me ask you a question.
You're on my podcast right now.
I wanted to know if at the Great Mothership Comedy Club in Austin, Texas, we could do a drag brunch for kids.
Yeah, we're open to all, you know, everything, all races, creeds.
I just, just run it by Joe.
Just go, someone approached me about doing a drag brunch for children, but we give all the, but everyone's armed.
It's an armed drag brunch.
Listen, on paper, this sounds great.
It's not bad.
I just think we need to run it by the chiefs.
And I feel like I think it would be better coming from you.
Oh, I have no problem putting it out there and going, there's nothing to show that this is a welcoming club more so than a drag brunch for children where everyone is armed.
Yeah, what?
I mean, do you have any titles in mind?
Like, what are we going to bill it as?
It's a great idea.
I don't know exactly what we could bill it as, but I think a Sunday afternoon when the club's not making any money, we get a bunch of drag queens with guns and we get a bunch of local children and we get a bunch of press.
And listen, if there's any way to put a little extra money in Joe's pocket, like I'm all for it.
So yeah, I mean, let's take advantage of the hours that the club isn't open.
Agreed.
So I just think the community of Austin will love it.
We know that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because we don't want them thinking we're some right-wing chop.
We'll go, listen, we're going to do have your, bring your, and I, we'll just do billboards around Austin.
Bring your kids and drag to Joe Rogan's new club.
This is the best idea I've heard in quite a while.
And I watched a lot of Shark Dank during COVID.
Right.
Listen, I'm telling you right now, I've been here for two years.
There's one thing I know about Texas.
They love guns and trans kids.
I'm telling you, bring your kids.
I'm seeing the billboard immediately.
Bring your kids to Joe Rogan's club in drag on Sunday morning.
We will have armed drag queens and everybody will get something from On It.
Great.
Can we still do a two-drink minimum?
Of course.
Two-drink minimum.
100%.
All right, Adam.
Thank you.
I'll call you later.
Thank you.
Great.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Well, Ray, he seems open to it.
Yeah, no, we'll ruin the club, but you know, it sounds nice.
We'll make it a disaster.
It's not a bad idea.
No, it's not a bad idea.
Look, honestly, like I said, I don't see the point of introducing kids to this drag stuff.
It seems totally against the point of the whole thing.
That being said, I'd still rather that than have them hang around comedians.
Oh, I mean, there's nothing.
By the way, the worst parents ever were the ones that would bring, every now and then there'd be like a 13-year-old that would come to an open mic and his parents would bring them.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that?
Some weird, freaky, like 15-year-old kid would show up in an open mic and like his father would drive.
There was this kid in Long Island.
Fuck, I can't remember his name, but his parents would take him to the open mic and it was like, oh, God.
And then he would like add us all on social media, be like, what's up, guys?
Are there any shows?
I'm like, you're a fucking child.
It'd be so funny.
Is this thing all turned on its head?
Like, Marjorie Tambourg Green's like at the stand just screaming, you're not funny.
Like some like second week open mic.
I tell you, I think it's a good idea.
I think it's a good idea to have to have a drag brunch at Rogan's Club.
I think that's very funny.
Look, I think it's, of course.
I mean, I'll dress up in drag, you know, and I'll be the grand wizard.
What do you call it?
The grand wizard of the KKK.
No, the parade.
Don't they call the parade guy grand wizard?
Is that the way to fight fire with fire?
Should white supremacists start doing drag like the grand wizard of the KKK?
Like, should you just have Nazi drag queens?
Is that what we have to do?
That whole hood and sash thing is pretty, it's pretty, I wouldn't call it fabulous, but it's a little, it's definitely out there.
It is very sad to be very, very poor, but it can also be sad to be rich.
That's all I'm saying.
And I know that that comes off very controversial and very out of touch.
Well, look, I mean, this idea that you have a monopoly as a poor person on sadness is because I've had enough.
Yeah.
And you know what it is?
I read this book and it's very good and it's very well researched.
It's a lot of poverty porn.
Oh, the mother died and all the kids are sleeping on one bed and the sheriff's evicting them and there's good gunshots in the wind.
And I'm like, who's gay?
Hey, hey, hey, are you getting off on this a little bit?
Yeah.
You getting off on this, you sick fuck writing this book?
You're getting off on it a little bit, aren't you?
Oh, God.
They get off on this.
We've met people who like get off on this.
They love it.
Why are you snooping around in the first place?
They love it.
Yeah.
They love these poor people with soot on their face.
They love it.
They get a stiffy thinking about a fucking broken family and a shitty school and a fucking closed down mill.
And I'm sad.
That's why I say give me out.
I've always been pro socialized medicine.
Yeah.
Pro safety net for sure.
And I'm not, I'm not trying to sound like because I was poor for the vast majority of my life.
Not poverty, but poor, broke, whatever.
And I have advantages and whatever.
But like I'm always for being humane and I'm being for being a humanitarian to the degree that I can be.
But I also think there is, let's just be very honest, there is certain, there's a like, there's so like if you've been like, there's certain people that, I don't know, there's a weirdness.
Like let's, Jesus would have been weird.
Yeah.
Jesus would have been weird.
He would have been a little bit of a weird guy.
Because he was Jewish.
Well, no, no, but that would have made him like effeminate.
Like he was probably a feminist.
I'm like, oh my God.
Like that's the way Jewish men are.
Like he was not, but I think he was Palestinian, actually.
He's definitely Jewish by religion.
What I'm saying about him is like, wouldn't he been a weird guy if he's just like hanging out with the poor?
Yeah.
If you had a friend that was like, let's go hang out with poor people.
Wouldn't it be weird?
It was weird.
It's why they killed him.
Yeah.
He was like, he was, he was, it was weird at the time.
No, by the way, all these Republicans claim to love this guy.
Man, they would have hated him.
Oh, God, yeah.
This whole thing was like, which is a hack thing to even say because everyone's pointed that out, but it's like, oh, yeah.
It's true.
Like, they would not like.
No, but he was.
His whole thing was like upending the entire order.
Not the tax order.
He was like, you know, pay your taxes.
But it's not weird.
They snuck at him.
Isn't that odd?
This is an odd.
Hey, Caesar, what's due to see?
I'm like, is this written in handwriting?
Is this an edit going into the Bible?
But it's weird because I read some of these books and I talk to some of these people and like sometimes they're like, my friend lost his leg.
And it's like, because some of these people become friends with like destitute people.
Right.
And then like act like they're their friends.
And they're like, my friend Wu lost his.
I'm reading this book.
The guy goes, my friend Wu lost his leg and I was embracing him.
And it's like, you're a journalist here to like suck these people's pain.
Stop calling them all your friends.
Remember that bitch, Barbara Ehrenrich, who wrote Nickel and Timed?
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Who went to be a diner waitress?
Yeah, I really hardly read that for like sociology class.
And they were, she was like, it's hard to be fucking broke.
I'm like, yeah, you're taking a job from a fucking poor person, you scumbag.
Then you're going to go back and fucking do a book signing in Newport, Rhode Island.
Doesn't this suck?
I've only got 30 grand in the bank.
A book nickel and dime.
So I saved up my vacation time.
Yeah.
And I read it and I was like, yeah, all of these books, the whole point, yeah, it sucks being poor.
That's true.
And we should do a lot more in this country for poor people.
I agree.
But until we figure out how to make the rich people happy, that's like, what's the point of making them other people rich?
No, this is so, this is actually a great point.
This is actually a great point.
Until the rich can be fully fulfilled, why even give the poor anything?
It won't even improve your life.
Because I'm not even that happy.
Right.
And I'm doing okay.
I'm doing okay.
I really don't even consider myself even slightly wealthy.
Yeah.
You're just morphic.
But yeah.
I believe wealth.
And this is going to sound out of touch to certain people listening.
And I don't want, don't cancel your subscription and be gay.
I believe wealth starts at $100 million.
To be a wealthy person.
Go on.
To have 70 or 80 million is to be comfortable.
I believe impressive wealth starts at a B.
It's a billion.
It's a big, it's a billion.
That's a reality now.
That's reality.
On Instagram, 100,000 is now a million.
100,000 followers on IG means nothing.
It's now a million.
Got to have a million.
So I think, you know, the million in America.
It sounds like you at the Nuremberg trials.
What?
It sounds like you'd be saying at the Nuremberg trial.
It's what I would be saying.
But it's.
I'm not even wealthy.
But the reality is I have standards, and it doesn't mean that I'm going to collapse my standards because other people, like the reality is I've always believed that attractive people had a certain look to them.
Now I've never had that look.
I've never had that look.
Should I then adjust my standards to say that I'm hot or should I keep going with my standards?
This is the reality.
We've seen a slip and slide of standards in this country.
I refuse.
But you also refuse, Raymond.
Yeah.
Every time I tell you about a rich guy, you go, but does he have real money?
You know.
No, I get it.
You know, Raymond.
I'm not going to be impressed by some guy who made an app that like, oh, you go to the museum and it tells you which REM brand.
Who gives a shit?
Who cares?
You know, it's like...
Take your 20 million and shove it in your ass.
What country have you invaded?
That's right.
We want real bloodthirsty money.
If the rich aren't killing, are they even rich?
No.
That's.
I mean, that's the whole, the whole, look, rich is a substitute for power, right?
And, like, what's the point of power?
Like, power, benign power isn't power.
You got to be out there killing.
Yeah.
That's the point.
No, if no one, if no one, like, what's having a, what do you like?
One of those Swiss guards at the Vatican.
You don't do anything?
Freaks.
A sword is to stab someone.
Money is to kill someone.
What is your verdict on, I mean, Mr. Beast?
Is he Satan?
No, you just got to watch him.
The trans thing doesn't matter.
No one cares.
I don't care.
I think he's a very odd fixture.
And like, honestly, I wouldn't put it past me to like think that he got this person to transition.
No.
Like, because he knew what the, you know, would happen.
Imagine that meeting.
He calls him in.
He's like, all right, listen, you got to do something for this team.
They're like, what?
You want me to ductate myself to it?
And he goes, no, This one's real.
This one's big.
But it is strange that.
And again, I'm not.
Where does Sam Smith go from here?
I don't know where he was before.
What was his big hit?
Beautiful.
Stay with me.
Yeah.
Give me all I need.
Exactly.
Carbohydrates and Satan.
He's not exactly Otis Redding, is he?
Well, I mean, it's like, I don't know, no one can.
There's no more.
Who's that guy who did ain't no sun?
Bill Withers, right?
Ain't no Sunshine.
No one's Bill Withers.
No one's keeping it going for 30 years, and this is fucking all great.
It's just, you have a couple of years where you make a little splash, and then here's the shit.
Purging Fat People First00:06:53
And then you cut something off, add something, grow some take some testosterone, change that.
That's the pattern now, right?
No one's, no one's Kubrick.
Do you think you're turned it off?
Do you think in 10 years you're going to see like so many people we know just like Sean Mendez is going to be fully a woman?
Just because just because people have had enough of them as a man, just because their career has hit a wall.
Yeah, I mean, but I think we're also going to have this weird.
What's odd about this?
Do you think Joe Rogan will become a woman?
What if Joe Rogan transitioned to a woman?
The only difference is he has a pussy.
He doesn't dress like a woman.
He just has a pussy.
What a pussy bum.
No, he has like, he puts a wig on.
He gets a wig.
Gets a wig.
I mean, I think it would look that much.
I think that's another 10 years easy as just tranny jerky.
And now he's railing against, like, he's like, yeah, he goes full woke.
Trans athlete, you know, you let them.
It's a woman.
Yeah, that's a good one.
It's a woman.
Yeah.
It goes the other way.
Yeah.
You will see with the Ollie London, right?
This is a great point about you will see like certain people that are grifters, like Ollie London or whoever.
I want, you will see high-profile switcheroos.
Oh, yeah.
And now it's going to be fun because it can be done with gender, as opposed to just like Candace Selwyn's being like, well, I sued for racism.
I lost.
So now I'm going to say it doesn't exist.
You're going to see people that go, oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah.
Right.
And she's a lovely woman, but I mean, she seemed to be a bit confused at that moment.
Right.
But you're going to see people now that just go, hey, I was a right-wing anti-trans guy.
Now I'm a trans woman who's a communist.
Like, you're going to see like the swings you are going to see are going to be so extreme.
Milo Yiannopoulos was an openly gay man who was dating, was married to a black man.
Now he is apparently a celibate, post-gay, heterosexual, Catholic, who, along with Steve Bannon, is trying to get the Pope removed because he's not conservative enough.
So those are the swings you're going to see now.
It's not just going to be like these little like, ooh, remember it was like, ooh, someone got a new hairstyle.
Wow.
It's like that.
We grew up with that when like somebody got a new hairstyle.
It would be like a news thing.
They'd be like, look at their hair.
Now it's going to be like, oh, you remember that Nazi?
Now they're a trans communist.
Or remember that fucking like button-up country club Republican?
Now they're like a fucking, you know, I don't know, polyamorous fucking Viking, you know, like.
It's like with Jesus.
When you see only one pair of footprints, that's when I was at a detransitioning camp.
Right.
Right.
It's when you saw only one pair of footprints, it was because I was figuring out who I was.
So you had to walk alone.
I mean, I just wish there was more style to it all.
That's the biggest problem.
Well, that's why my critique of the fatty bumbati.
Yeah.
Ugliness and piggish behavior cannot coincide with discussions about gender or sex.
It's not about the genderqueer, whatever you want to call it, non-binary.
It's not that like you want to, oh, we want to disrupt the gender norms.
Okay, but you have to disrupt the aesthetic norms.
Every norm.
It's like, it's like, oh, a woman can...
At the end of the day, the green hair with the, it clashes with the bleeding.
Well, that's the thing.
Listen, trans people now, we should be using the most advanced technology.
We should be churning out trans people like we're churning out Teslas.
Yeah.
But what the problem is, is when you see some fatty bumbati in Michigan who's, as me and you have said, not even really trying to pass.
They're just wearing a strange hat.
They're wearing like a hit hat.
Yeah.
And they're 300 pounds.
Like, accept me.
It's like, except you as what, a slob?
What am I accepting you as?
A slovenly, I know slobs.
Everyone I know is trans.
If this is the case, if, if, if, if wearing a t-shirt, an ill-fitting t-shirt, I've been trans my whole life.
Can we, look, you, you know people.
You know people in the business.
How about we go together and we pitch people in the business?
We pitch a reality show starring me called, I'll do whatever I have to do.
And we call it fat and trans.
It's just me yelling at people.
Well, it is, it is maybe not a bad idea to have a reality show where trans people go and lose weight and pass.
I think you're being a little Hitler-ish with the losing weight thing.
Well, I'm just saying it might not be a bad idea for trans people to become better, better.
What if we biggest transition?
Yes.
Where if you lose the weight, we cut your or ads, whatever.
We give you, if, if you lose the weight, we'll allow you to transition.
It's not a bad idea.
It's actually a great idea.
It's a phenomenal idea.
I actually worked in Hollywood.
I know you're saying it as a joke, but the reality is.
I would love how do I get the job where you make these jokes into things?
Because honestly, yeah, I agree.
I could be a psychopath who works at Fox.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know how you get that job.
I know.
I don't, I'd be honest, you were on such a low list of people to get that job.
He's a genius in the business.
He came up with fat and trans.
Yeah.
Well, the biggest loser for trans people is a great idea.
I mean, the trans people will probably get mad, but you're holding it.
Well, the fat activists will get mad.
Yeah.
And then the trans, but there's an early in the day, gay people.
Imagine if gay people were like starting out like not hot.
I'm only allowed to exist because hot gay people came before me.
Imagine if like gay people started and they got in league with fat activists.
Like imagine that.
Like imagine if any minority, when they were trying to get respect, got in league with fat people.
I suppose the problems was fat.
Of course this bitch.
She's taking up three seats on the fucking bus.
Fat Martin Luther King.
I have a dream.
Yeah, that you have fucking eaten an ice cream.
I got the sugar.
I got the sugar.
But this is what I mean.
Any group that wants to be accepted has to purge themselves of fat people in the beginning.
We're not in the vanguard.
In the beginning, you don't send the fat.
The fats are not the Marines.
You can't send fat people out as trans Marines just because they're scary looking.
Fear of Rainy Street Rippers00:10:14
Fears of a rainy street ripper.
Serial killer in Austin after eighth body in less than a year is pulled from Ladybird Lake.
Many of you don't know anything about Austin, Texas.
You may not live there.
Maybe you have visited.
Obviously, Joe Rogan lives there.
I have a home there.
The comedy mothership is located there.
I have said many negative things about the city.
I do like their barbecue.
It is the best in the world.
There is nobody that does better barbecue than Austin, Texas.
The breakfast tacos are nice.
There are things that I like about it.
I'm no longer at a war with Austin, Texas because wars are boring.
And unlike the military industrial complex, I don't make money from the war.
So at the end of the day, I like to end the wars and move on to peace.
So me in Austin, Texas right now have a peace agreement.
However, there is a lake called Ladybird Lake, which a lot of homeless people shit in.
And apparently a serial killer is now throwing bodies in, perhaps.
There are eight bodies that have been recovered in Ladybird Lake in Austin.
And this sucks.
This 30-year-old guy, John Christopher Hayes Clark, was the latest to be recovered.
Jonathan Honey, Jason John.
What the fuck are these names?
Jonathan Honey, Jason John.
Everybody's named John.
Five other unidentified people have been found dead at the same location over the last year.
The victims' families believe there's more behind their deaths.
And the Austin PD has found no foul play.
This is weird, man.
Earlier this month, 33-year-old Jonathan Honey was found dead on April 1st.
Cliff Axe, Tal 40 was discovered on March 5th.
Jason John was found on February 13th.
A further four unidentified bodies have been recovered from the lake in the last 10 months.
Terrified residents have since set up Facebook groups and taken a TikTok to voice their growing fears that the deaths may be connected.
So this is fucking weird shit.
A private Facebook group called Ladybird Lake Serial Killer with more than 50,000 followers was created when Jason John's body was discovered in February.
The autopsies for the men who died were not available, but police said their bodies showed no signs of trauma.
They added that the cases shared a combination of alcohol and easy access points to the lake, which can be hard to see at night.
However, they claim that with each incident occurred at the lake, the circumstances, exact locations and demographics of these cases vary.
This is weird, dude.
This is almost like that smiley face killer shit that we covered because it was like young, good-looking college guys were getting thrown in lakes.
But then we met the guy who helped popularize that theory in Minnesota and he was a complete lunatic.
And I interviewed him and that then he like left me voicemails like threatening to sue me because he came out like the episode came out where I said he was completely unreliable and insane, which he was.
That doesn't mean that there's not something weird going on, but this seems like that.
But none of these guys, they don't fit that particular demographic.
But a lot of them, I guess, were walking home and then ended up in a lake.
The thing about Austin is it's a city where people get intoxicated.
They get very drunk.
And I go, well, everybody gets drunk.
Tim and every city.
Yeah, but not like Austin.
I mean, Austin, they get boozed up.
That's kind of the point of Austin, Texas.
People get really fucked up.
It's for bachelorette parties.
It's for high school reunions.
It's for people that haven't seen each other in a while.
You know, people taking a dad's trip that really want to fucking turn it up.
People that may not know where their tolerance is anymore, that are trying to keep up with the college kids next to them.
Austin is a grueling environment for people that go out and get drunk.
You know, people get really fucked up.
And, you know, 6th Street, which is like the big main drag in Austin where people go out and get fucked up, gets incredibly violent and people are falling down and vomiting and beating each other up and pulling out guns and shooting each other.
And this is, you know, and Rainy Street is like 6th Street to a degree.
I mean, Rainy Street, people get really, really fucked up and drunk on Rainy Street.
So it is not inconceivable.
It is not inconceivable, but I mean, it sounds horrible that somebody just got drunk and fell in a lake.
It's a horrible way to die.
And it's a horrible thing to admit.
And it could not be that.
It might be a serial killer.
It's an embarrassing thing to say your father got drunk and fell in the lake.
That's an embarrassing thing to say.
Now, that may be true.
In this case, it may be true.
I don't know.
10 bodies in a lake seems like a lot.
That seems like too many, especially if you don't, if that's not a consistent every year number.
If it's not like every consecutive year, it's like eight to 10 people go missing in the lake.
That seems to be a huge increase that maybe that is a serial killer killing people and throwing them in Lady Bird.
You know, something down there is not good, folks.
And again, I'm not trying to start problems.
I'm just saying there is something that is not.
It is not good.
I am looking at some of the people who died and it is sad.
Just go to the mothership, folks.
Just go to the mothership and go home.
Mothership hotel.
Nobody ends up in a lake.
People get too drunk in that city.
People get too drunk.
I'm telling you, at a certain age, you can't get that fucked up.
You know, at any age, unless you really trust the people you're around to not abandon you and to look after you and to watch you, you should not be getting that fucked up.
I used to get that fucked up.
I used to get really fucked up.
And, you know, I, you know, could have ended up in a lake, but I didn't.
You know, a lot of times, you know, I was at a Long Island catering hall during a real estate seminar.
And, you know, that's not really a place where people disappear from.
People appear over and over again.
Death comes slowly with each passing minute.
I just, you know, I just, you know, listen, I don't, I don't know how these people, we'll never know.
Nobody ever finds this out.
Whenever somebody ends up in a lake, nobody ever finds out how it exactly happened.
Maybe there are people that are just drugging people and throwing them in a lake for fun.
I mean, that's what I came down to with the smiley face killer shit.
I looked into it from 10 different angles.
I'm like, maybe there's just people out there that are getting their jollies, throwing motherfuckers in a lake.
Why not?
We got a lot of sick fucks in this country.
I would not put it past a few people to go, we can only have fun if we're drugging people and throwing them in lakes.
I do not know.
Maybe it is a government program where they are testing how people respond to certain drugs.
Would that be shocking?
Absolutely not.
Our government?
Not at all.
Maybe that's a possibility.
I mean, I remember once in my friend Erin's house, we're sitting in her backyard and she's like, go through the possibilities of what the smiley face killer is.
And I said, it's groups of private individual.
Like, number one, possibility number one, drunk people are falling in lakes.
Easiest, possibility number one.
Possibility number two, private individuals who are sick, cult, gang, whatever, a gang initiation, a cult initiation, a ritual sacrifice.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Are doing these things, private individuals.
Now, obviously, there's no evidence.
They're very good at it.
Nobody's on surveillance video and the cops can't seem to locate anybody.
I don't know.
Option number three.
And by the way, these are not in no particular order, but option number three is that it is the government or it's our government is there's some secret program that allows or permits the drugging of young men for whatever reason or whatever purpose as a way to test something.
This is what MKUltra was.
This is what Project Monarch was.
This is what a lot of things were.
They were programs where the government administered drugs to people and killed some of them in order to test a certain hypothesis about a drug, drug interaction, how somebody behaved while on this drug, they observed.
I don't know.
But that's where you leave it all.
You go, yeah, I don't know.
It's got to be one of those three things.
That's it.
Or it's one guy, one highly motivated serial killer, one highly motivated person that is going out, getting drunk with someone, walking, walking them home.
Like, I'm a good guy.
I'm going to walk you home and then throw them in a river.
I don't like rivers.
I don't like lakes.
I've been very clear about this.
I've been very clear about it.
You know, this is not my, I don't get in for that.
I don't do that.
Companies Are Made Of People00:15:19
Not in this country.
You know, we all think of rivers like these beautiful rivers where it's like the rapids.
That's not what it is.
These rivers are brown.
They're full of shit.
They're all chemical.
The lakes are gross.
You can't fish in them.
You can't swim in them.
You get the brain-eating amoebas.
They're all 80 degrees.
There's bacteria growing in them.
Everybody's a drunk animal.
This is not what you think it is.
It is not what you think it is.
Truly.
Stay away from the lakes.
Stay away from the rivers.
If you're going to go out and get fucked up, go out with people that are going to make it their business to help you and not abandon you and not let you leave and not let you do something stupid and not let you walk home alone.
Or also don't go out on fucking rainy street in Austin, you fucking loser.
You deserve to get thrown in a fucking lake.
Do something else.
Go to Miami.
Everybody's fine in Miami because people care about each other.
No, I don't know.
I mean, there's no answer here.
There's no answer.
No one will ever, by the way, they'll never catch this person.
They'll never catch any of the people.
Millions of people have died in lakes.
It's boring.
It's never good.
It'll never, they're either in on it and they're letting them kill you or they just don't care.
Or I mean, I don't know what to tell you, but there's never going to be an answer or a solution.
Drink in your house.
I don't know.
Drink in places where you trust people.
Don't walk home.
You know, I don't know.
I mean, I don't know.
There is no, there is no solution that is going to, there's no solution that is going to make anybody happy here other than here.
I'm going to sum it up the way Kamala Harris would say it.
This is what I'm going to do.
We are disturbed by the questions.
And the questions that we are all asking are the right questions.
And it is the answers that elude us at this time.
And all we can do right now is to focus on the answers to the questions.
And that's it.
And that's what Kamala Harris would say.
You know, this is the way that she would, our vice president would explain it.
I think that's maybe the way to explain everything now.
I think that might be just the way to explain everything.
To just say, we are all saddened by the circumstances.
But we must do our best in the memory of those who have fallen to persevere in the search for the truth.
And that's it.
And then just, then you move on because you'll never know.
For whatever reason, none of these cases have ever been solved.
When you fall in a lake, no one cares.
People stop trying to even, they will go to the ends of the earth to solve certain crimes.
What did Gaga's dog get?
Yeah, they got Gaga's dog back, right?
Yeah, they will net you will net if your bloated body is found in a lake, it's over.
They just don't care because they just go, oh, it's a drunk fell in a lake.
They don't care.
So, I mean, this is sad.
It's shitty.
It's shitty because it's denigrating Austin, a city I love so much, a city that's part of my heart.
You know, and it saddens me that eight people were found in Lady Burtlet, which again is disgusting.
It's a lake where homeless people use the bathroom and then other people a paddleboard.
But it is primarily a toilet.
It's a homeless toilet.
That's what the lake is.
It's a toilet.
And I know that bringing that up makes me sound like a piece of shit to the people that enjoy it, but they're just fishing bodies out of the lake.
So again, it's another benefit to the many benefits of living there is there might be a body.
You might paddleboard over a body.
Look, kids, it's a body.
I mean, maybe this is abortion activists that are angry about abortion who are just killing men.
Is it radical feminist serial killers drugging and killing men to protest abortion?
And is that even wrong?
Would that even be wrong if it was radical feminists killing drunk men and saying, oh, let's fuck, and then throwing them in the water to protest the draconian restrictions on abortion in Texas.
And is that not a little inspirational?
I don't know.
Throwing it out there.
Kind of like it's the plot of something or other.
Yeah, promising young woman.
Yeah, right?
Yep.
But isn't that sexual assault?
Yeah, she's rapist.
Yeah.
This is random men who've really done nothing.
They're just there.
They're drunk.
They're on Rainy Street and they're being thrown in the lake for some reason.
I don't know.
I'm just, I'm guessing.
All we can do is guess.
It's a little fun to guess.
It's not fun to get thrown in the lake and it's not fun to be killed, but it's kind of a little fun to guess what happens to people.
It's just a pastime now.
It's a pastime in America to guess what happens to people that end up in a lake.
That's part of the fun now of living in this country is that no matter where you live, if it's near a lake or a river, a certain amount of bodies will end up in there with no explanation.
In which case, you and your friends can play like a scategories, like a pictionary of why these bodies ended up in the lake.
You'll have some theories, some very vague thoughts, clues, ideas, nothing really grounded in any evidence or fact.
But that's part of the fun now of living anywhere in America.
It's just why did they end up at the lake?
There should be a game.
There should be a game called Bodies in the Lake.
And it'll be like a board game where you end up in the lake and then they spin the spinner and you go, okay, why is the body in the lake?
And you have to, for a minute, give a convincing explanation of why the body is in the lake.
It could be they got drunk.
It could be serial killer.
It could be smiley face killers.
It could be a secret government program.
It could be religious cult.
I mean, you have to then come up with, it could be like ex-lover scored.
It could be like guy who was secretly gay, who's going to meet with a gay guy on Grinder, but that gay guy was really a serial killer.
Maybe he wasn't even gay.
Maybe he was a serial killer.
But when it lands, the spinner will land on you.
And then you have to give an explanation of why the body.
And it would be a board game called Bodies in the Lake.
And you would play it with your friends and you would go, why is this?
And you would read a card and they would go, on February 27th, Thomas Johnson ended up in the lake.
He was walking home from a party drunk, two miles in the opposite direction of where he lived.
And then you would put the spinner on and then you go, Jessica, why did Thomas end up in the lake?
And then you have to go and you have to like, you're on the stump.
You just have to go, you know.
Because there will be no answers to any of these questions.
We will never find this out.
No one has an interest in it.
I'm only talking about it because it's a relatively slow newsweek.
And it is, you know, it's Americana.
It's culture.
It's Norman Rockwell shit.
I mean, people ending up in a lake, man.
I mean, this is Wizard of Oz.
This is like, this is a Norman Rockwell Americana thing.
This is a John Hughes movie from the 80s.
I mean, this is our culture.
People ending up in a lake without an explanation.
This is something you'll tell your children's children.
This is an old, these are stories you will pass down for generations that some people in this country just end up in lakes.
That's how it works.
And I think that that's just, it's kind of becoming comforting in a weird way.
It's actually kind of comforting.
You know, unless you are in the lake or the relative of someone's in the lake, and I feel bad for all of those people.
But it's kind of interesting to drink a cup of cocoa and think about why these people ended up in the lake because it's an interesting parallel universe.
Because there are things, this is what animates the mind.
No matter what, there are things going on that you don't know about.
Now, they could be very small things or they could be very big things.
They can be grand conspiracies or they may be small misfortunes.
But no matter what, you don't know about them.
They're happening.
And the result is someone's ending up in the lake.
That's what animates the mind and it keeps people up.
And I wonder what it is.
Did he trip?
Or is it a massive conspiracy?
And no one knows.
Because, you know, one or two people, you go, yeah, they're drunks.
Eight to 10 people, you go, something's going on here.
Something might be going on.
But there's no answer.
There'll never be any, how depressing would it be if there was an answer?
How sad and boring would that be?
If they pinned it on some dude, they're like, oh, here's the lake.
Here's a Ladybird Lake killer.
You'd be like, oh, no.
And then they'd get him.
And then like two weeks later, someone else would die.
And they'd go, oh, fuck.
And then, you know, it's going to be the movie's coming back for another.
It's fucking, you know, bodies in the lake too.
Bodies in the lake too.
With Eli Roth and Addison Ray and Tim Dylan, Bodies in the Lake 2.
My point is that Cracker Barrel is upset because the people are upset because during Pride Month, companies put up the pride flag.
Now, no one cared about this until people started saying five-year-olds should be able to take hormones and, you know, your kids should be able to transition and they can be diagnosed as trans by their music teacher.
Absent that, people didn't really care about this stuff.
It was a little annoying.
The jokes came from people on the left that were like, pride is so corporate.
Remember when cops were bashing in gay people's heads at Stonewall?
Now the cops march in the parade, Citibank's in on it.
They're evicting people, but they're like, you know, it's just fun.
Corporate woke.
It was fun.
But nobody really cared.
wasn't like tearing the fabric of the country apart if like Elaine Bryant was like, you can be fat and queer here or whatever, whatever company, just you know, the Cheesecake Factory is like, we're with Pride Month.
Get be a pig at Cheesecake.
Fact.
It's just a way to stamp a flag for the month, just like Black History Month.
These companies don't care about gay people, black people, white people.
They don't really care about anyone.
They care about numbers in a column.
That's what companies are.
Oh, but companies are made of people.
Yeah, okay.
Companies care about numbers in a column.
They care about profits and losses.
They care about expanding.
That's what companies do.
So the idea that there's like human interest, they spotlight one of their employees who's gay, who works 90 hours a week and passes out from the exhaustion and dehydration.
And they're like, you know, Mark is gay and he's worked here at Applebee's for 22 years.
And, you know, you're like, congrats.
And, you know, it's great.
But that's the extreme case.
They'll like spotlight one of their employees.
Most of the time, it's a simple aesthetic choice.
Here's the flag.
We're gay this month.
We're going to go with the, we're in it.
Come spend your, gay people spend your money here.
That's what it's about.
Because it's a capitalist country.
And capitalism is about people spending their money at your establishment, whether they fuck dogs, whether they are gay, and I'm not equating them.
I'm just saying they don't care.
They don't care about anything.
They don't care if you come from a broken home.
They don't care if you read Bible verses before supper.
They don't care.
Chick-fil-A doesn't really care.
They might donate to these pro-family organizations or whatever.
But Chick-fil-A's main concern is, are they selling fucking chicken?
That's their main concern.
That is, they're a business.
They exist to make money.
And Cracker Barrel, I guess, was basically like, we are bringing the front porch to pride.
This year's Cracker Barrel's focus was to be a part of the Pride experience.
We had two locations in the park, both equipped with seating areas and coverage for people to sit down and cool off while allowing for natural conversation.
In the Cracker Barrel spirit of hospitality and belonging, we'll call it bringing the front porch to Pride.
So what Cracker Barrel is basically trying to do is they're basically saying, hey, not all gay people are going to live in Miami or New York City.
They're not all going to live in West Hollywood.
Some of them are going to live in an area where the thing we do is considered a restaurant.
The thing we do.
And they're trying to, they're making the bet that there's going to be some gay people because gay people aren't this monolith.
You know, like Bravo puts out gay people as like, they're all rich and they're all living on the coasts.
It's not true.
There's a lot of gay people that are living in areas where, and some of them are happier.
There was a documentary called Small Town Gay Bar.
And small communities make people happier.
You end up fucking more because there's less options.
So you might fuck the same people or whatever, but it actually these small communities are not that bad.
Like people think like, you know, oh, it's horrible for gay people to live in the small community, but it's actually not that bad.
I mean, it's bad if they're being, you know, burned at the stake, but there's gay people that go to Cracker Barrel.
Cracker Barrel Gay Values00:10:48
I'm not one of them.
I'm going to tell you that right now.
And if it offends you, don't deal with me.
I'm not one of them.
Have I been to Cracker Barrel?
Yes.
Is it bad?
No.
No, it's not bad.
I don't go to Cracker Barrel.
It's not my thing.
That's not what I enjoy.
Do they have one in Palm Beach?
My point is this.
There are gay people that are going to love Cracker Barrel.
And Cracker Barrel thinks maybe there's enough of them.
I don't know.
If I was marketing at Cracker Barrel, I might go, you know, Christians that hate gay people have to have some establishments.
Maybe this is one of them.
Maybe, because Cracker Barrel is kind of like the racist restaurant.
Every now and then, there's like a story from Cracker Barrel where the staff goes crazy or somebody says something like a black family walks in and like one of the cashiers is like, are you sure you're in the right place?
Like it's that, that's the vibe.
My point is that on the culture war, a lot of the really right-wing evangelical types have kind of lost.
And they should, I think we should throw them a bone.
I think they should have some establishments where they can like not be part of pride.
And I think maybe Cracker Barrel is a good one.
Maybe that's one where they can say, you know what?
We're not doing it.
We're not doing it.
We may not, we don't hate gay people per se, but we regard it as a sin.
And you cannot come here and suck cock in our restaurant.
You cannot eat pussy in our restaurant if you're a woman.
You cannot come into Cracker Barrel as a man and suck another man's cock in Cracker Barrel.
It's not allowed here.
So there should be some restaurants that allow that.
You know, it's not going to be the cheesecake factories, the things that are in high-end malls.
They're going to be for gay people.
But the evangelical, the people that really are just the QAnon types, the people that are like living in a state of rage, they should have Cracker Barrel.
Like I think we should give them Cracker Barrel.
The same way that Ukraine maybe should have given Putin Donbass.
Maybe, I don't know.
We'll see how it works out.
It's not looking great for the Ukraine.
Maybe we should give them Cracker Barrel.
But I think it's exhausting.
I think the war about what corporations believe in is a silly one.
It's a silly one.
And I don't think people really have, like, I think the Bud Light thing was like the most extreme example.
So I think obviously you saw a big boycott and it worked.
But I don't think most people have the energy for a war about what corporations believe.
Like, what are the values of American corporations?
Could there be a funnier statement?
Like, what are the values of American or even multinational, like corporations?
They don't have the values of those corporations are to suck up as much money as they can at the expense of human life.
Those are the value.
That's the primary value of a lot of these corporations.
Okay.
So the idea that they put a rainbow flag on the menu or they do or on the website or wherever it was and it's making you mad.
People are like, Cracker Barrel was a family establishment.
How about eating home?
Aren't you, if you're a family, shouldn't you be eating up?
My grandparents never went to Cracker Bat.
This is the problem with this fat, decrepit country.
Just because they say, oh, come on down to country kitchen with mom pa.
No, my grandparents, straight Catholics who did not support the gay lifestyle, ate at home.
My nanny cooked.
They didn't get in the station wagon and go down to Cracker Barrel and fill themselves with biscuits.
They ate at home.
Food that she cooked.
The family values that you people crave so much are available to you if you want them.
They're not, they shouldn't be sold to you by corporations, dummy.
It's an old family experience here at Cracker Barrel.
Come on down to Cracker Barrel by the parkway.
Come up, pull off the exit ramp and come down to Cracker Barrel.
There's about 200 other people there and go shopping in our gift shop and then go in and eat catfish.
It's like, no, stay the fuck home.
Say grace.
These ideas that it's like a family establishment, not a family establishment.
It's an establishment that is branded a certain way to attract a certain demographic.
There's one family establishment.
It's called your fucking house.
That is the only one.
Listen up, dummy dumb-dums.
The only family establishment is your fucking house because you live in it and you set the rules.
So if your 11-year-old wants to chop their dick off before the salad, you say, no.
That's what a family establishment is.
It is not a fucking restaurant that smells like shit half the time that meth heads are fucking shooting up in in the bathroom at a rest stop.
A lot of Cracker Barrels are at rest stops.
That's not a family establishment.
Let's go to the rest stop where the truckers are having a long meal after doing family things.
Is that what the truckers are doing at the rest stop?
Family things?
And then they come in to have chicken and biscuits.
But nobody wants to cook a goddamn meal.
Nobody wants to own their own life.
So they want to go, well, well, Cracker Barrel is a family establishment.
They're going gay.
They're going woke.
It's like, how about cooking your own?
If you don't want to go to Cracker Barrel because they made some decision that you don't like, don't go.
Also, don't go because the food is unhealthy.
It's not that great.
Some of it's good.
The pancakes are actually good because they crust up the ends of them like Clinton Baking, Clint Street Baking Company in New York, which is probably the best pancakes in America because good pancakes cannot be sloppy sponges like IHOP and Denny's.
They actually have have to have some buttery crust and it's got to be soft, but there also has to be a crust.
It doesn't, we don't need, we're getting off the thing.
The point is, it's amazing to me that people are demanding these corporate values when all, listen, a lot of my family has just hated gay people from the comfort of their own home.
You can hate people from the comfort of your own home.
You don't have to go to Chick-fil-A and get a bunch of chicken sandwiches to throw at your children in the back seat because instead of cooking dinner for them, you were drinking wine and talking to your sister on the phone about the fact that she has a third bruise on her leg and you think her boyfriend is throwing her down the stairs.
What I mean, I'm just saying it doesn't have to be such a fucking crazy thing.
It doesn't have to be like, it doesn't have to be mutually exclusive.
Hating people, you can do it all the time, but you can really do it at home and it's good at home and it's meant to be at home.
And I understand if you're fighting for the turf of Cracker Barrel, I'm willing to cede that to you.
I'm willing to give that to you.
In the culture war, you can have Cracker Barrel.
You can take most of the things that are killing people.
But that's what it seems to be now.
It seems to be like this fight about like, you know, this corporation supposed to care about the things I care about.
This corporation is, because my kids are going to be trans if they see Cracker Barrel put up the gay flag.
It's like, if your kid is becoming trans because of Cracker Barrel, you know, maybe, you know, there's other things at work.
Maybe there's other things at play.
If Cracker Barrel, can you imagine that kid?
Well, I realized I was a woman at Cracker Barrel.
Yeah, my parents used to take me down by the rest stop and we used to go there and eat bacon and biscuits and pudding.
And then I saw that one Pride month, they were like, I'd always thought they hated gay people.
So I said, fuck it, I'll just stay in the closet.
But then I saw that they were actually taking part in Pride by putting up that flag.
So now I'm trans.
I'm trans now.
And I told my parents I'm trade.
The person who discovers they're trans at Cracker Barrel should kill themselves.
If Cracker Barrel is the difference between you becoming gay or trans, it's a problem.
It's hilarious because that is where most people think I came out of the closet is Cracker Barrel.
Like I'm probably the one person, Cracker Barrel.
Like there should be a brand of people called Cracker Barrel Gay.
And it should be like just like, you know.
These are the gays that were left out.
You didn't see them at a foam party in Miami.
You didn't see them at Fashion Week.
They're Cracker Barrel gays.
You find them at rest stops sucking cocks, sucking off truckers, and then going in and eating chicken soup at Cracker Barrel.
I'm a Cracker Barrel faggot.
I mean, they should get into it.
Jug band and the Pride parade.
We're Cracker Barrel faggots.
It's like Joe Exotic would be one of them.
You know, it's like.
But it's sillier and sillier.
It's getting sillier and sillier.
Who Earns Your Attention00:09:53
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I was just reading this Seth Abramson Twitter thread where he's like, some people must earn your attention.
And I wouldn't go on Tucker's show because he hasn't earned my attention.
And all of these people, they're like, no one that disagrees with me earns my attention.
The only people that earn my attention are people that agree with me in a slightly different way.
That's the only people that they're like, these people want to speak.
Everyone else is a grifter, a conspiracy theorist, a nut, people that haven't earned their attention.
You know, all these mainstream establishment types are like, we're the experts.
We will not lower ourselves.
We will not stoop to the level to discuss anything with you.
We will not stoop to the level.
We decide who the experts are.
The experts say that men can have babies.
They can menstruate.
The experts say that the Ukraine deserves our entire GDP.
The experts say that a six-year-old is capable of deciding what gender they're going to be.
That's what the experts say.
That's what the experts say.
Those are the experts that cannot be challenged ever at all on the merits.
The experts say that the United States of America is nothing more than a white supremacist, fascist hellscape where nobody that's not white has a shot.
Everyone's being hunted.
Even though immigrants do better than native-born white people.
By statistics, that's what the experts say, the academics, the people that have earned everyone's attention.
Seth Abramson, the people that earn your attention are the people that believe all of those things.
They didn't believe them five years ago.
They didn't believe them 10 years ago.
Some of them did, but now they all believe them because their job is wrapped up in the belief of those things.
Everyone else is a conspiracy theorist, a grifter, a loon, a nut, a fucking psycho.
Anyone that wants to ask any question about anything, they should be ignored, fully, completely ignored, shut out, kept in the dark.
Because they're the experts.
I'm reading the Seth Abramson Twitter thread.
And Seth Abramson is like a New York Times best-selling journalist and author.
I don't know much about him.
He goes, those who call Hotez a coward or charlatan for not immediately agreeing to play PR games with Rogan, Musk, and RFK Jr. are trolls, whose toxic masculine bullshit makes them think every man can be persuaded by calling him a chicken.
They don't know how to earn attention.
When Tucker Carlson wanted to debate me on a show, I said no instantly, despite knowing it would have afforded me significant attention and eventually money.
Why did I say no?
Because we should never demean ourselves by debating people who haven't earned our time or attention.
Hotez owes Rogan, Musk, RFK Jr. nothing.
They haven't earned anyone's time and attention, let alone an expert's time and attention on the subject of vaccines.
And Hotez owes Rogan's audience nothing because it wants to be lied to about the vaccines.
RFK Jr. is doing that just fine.
I get secondhand embarrassment watching grown-ass men like Musk and Rogan humiliate themselves on topics of import for years, insisting they know better than experts.
Who are these fucking experts, by the way?
Who are these goddamn experts that drive the economy off a cliff every four years and then print money to bail it out and then give it to Goldman Sachs?
These are the experts that maintain an empire around the world that we can't afford and hand all their money to the military industrial.
These are the experts.
Patriot Act, these are the experts.
NSA spying on America, these are the experts.
These are the experts.
Take all your jobs, ship them overseas.
These are the experts.
Apple H is done.
Detroit's done.
They don't care.
The middle of America is done.
Ohio, let it fall.
San Fran, those are the experts.
They're killing people in the street.
These are the experts.
Nobody else should get any attention.
Nobody else is, and they've not earned the time or attention.
The American empire failing in front of us, being destroyed, eaten from the inside out.
And these people are going, well, if you're not an expert.
Seth Abramson goes, I understand it's hard for stupid people to know they're stupid.
They hate Joe's audience so much.
They hate, I mean, Seth Abramson has, you know, nothing.
He's got, you know, 900,000 Twitter followers.
I have as many as him.
This is his gig, right?
His job is to be like, you know, influential.
I literally stumbled upon his thread by accident.
I thought it was crazy.
And he's got 77,000 subscribers on Patreon, not Patreon, I'm sorry.
Substack, where he writes.
But if you look at Rogan's numbers, they're in the tens of millions.
So people like this have such, they loathe and abominate Rogan.
They hate him.
And I'm not saying you have to agree with everything Joe says or think he's right about everything either.
I'm just saying these people are so enraged.
Like when he writes, I know it's hard for stupid people to understand they're stupid.
So I do have empathy for avid fans of Joe Rogan and Elon Musk.
But at a certain point, you've had it explained to you by experts why you're stupid so many times that your recalcitrance becomes a character flaw.
It's like such an embarrassment to me.
These people have been wrong about so much in my lifetime.
So much from geopolitics to social politics to domestic politics.
I mean, they've been wrong about so much.
They've allowed the country to degenerate to a point where we have so many problems eating us alive.
And they still hold the mantle of respectability and go, we are the only people that should be listened to.
Nobody else should be listened to.
The erosion of freedom, liberty, the growth of the national security state, the unending wars, the financial crisis.
They don't care.
Major American cities, you know, going bankrupt, all of these things, the dominance of the financial sector, the dominance of the tech sector, all of this stuff.
All of these people, globalism, unending, unchecked immigration, violence in American city.
None of this.
Anybody who questions any of this is labeled a nutjob, a conspiracy theorist, a crank.
Don't deal with them.
Don't speak to them.
Don't speak to them.
Don't deal with them.
They're not an expert.
You want to know why that pregnant woman got stabbed?
She's not an expert.
Won't deal with you.
Not dealing with you.
Want to know why people are shitting in the street in San Fran and jamping needles in their leg?