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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Pat's Fitness Journey00:07:55
I'm, you know, because we've done well here on the show, and, you know, that's no secret to anyone, and we're, you know, grateful to all the fans for that.
I've decided to get a personal trainer, and this is something that I have put off doing for a long time.
And it's out of fear, but I finally found somebody that I think I connected with, and somebody who I look at as an example of what I think I can do.
And that's big to me to find someone who I look at a certain body type.
I look at somebody, I go, that's out of reach, or that's something that I can't do.
But this is someone who I met with.
We had a consultation.
He understood my limitations and he understands the potential there.
And I'm excited about this.
And I think that it'll be, it'll challenge me.
You know, this will be something that, you know, I don't, you know, take lightly.
This is something that I'm really going to now really try to do with this person who I think who's, I'm fully committed and they are fully committed.
And they have represented some people, you know, and they've, you know, coached.
I don't even know the term trained some of the most famous people in the world.
So this is my personal trainer, Pat.
I was very personal trainer.
Let me see how that went.
He really tried to poor guy.
At least I got his money.
Yeah.
Well, he did work with Ralphie at the end.
And I don't think we can look at the results.
I think we have to look at the journey.
And I think the journey was valuable.
And I think even though that didn't necessarily end in the way that, you know, is positive, I think, I don't think it's your fault.
I think you certainly did the best.
And what are your plans for me?
What should I really be, I mean, looking forward to, and what should I be kind of like focused on?
Lots of lacking.
Yeah.
Well, we can do that.
We certainly can do that.
But again, this is someone who gets me and he gets what I'm capable of.
And so many trainers, when I've met with them, don't and they push me.
Pat has said, I don't really or shouldn't even think about going to a gym for three to four years, which I think is important to just kind of start slow.
And isn't that right, Pat?
You said I should just really not push myself.
And this is something that I'm trained Lizio too.
Yeah, he's trained Lizzo, and they're getting very serious now with Lizzo.
You know, and I saw Lizzo kind of walking you around the mall and kind of pushing you around.
And I think that's that's good.
That's where I'm going to start.
We're starting just kind of moving Pat through certain areas.
It's amazing when you meet someone who has a passion for fitness that Pat does because I have not, you know, my whole life, I haven't had one, but Pat has kind of showed me that fitness isn't necessarily any one thing.
Fitness could mean many, many things.
And the passion that he has for fitness and what he's been able to do at one time, I think he weighed over four or five hundred pounds.
And what he's been able to do, you know, with his body is completely very impressive.
And I am just in awe of that.
And it's something that I want to emulate.
And this is something breathing is even a workout, too.
Yes, yes, breathing is.
And that's what he told me.
He goes, breath control and breathing is probably the most important thing, and that I shouldn't really get into weights or cardio to just kind of just the in and the out, the in and the out, the in and the out.
Are you taking on any new clients right now?
Is there anything that you're excited about?
Is there anything that you want to promote?
Are you promoting any fitness programs?
Because I don't want to keep all this to myself.
You know, there's a lot of people out there that need help.
And one thing I've learned is that when you have something good, you want to give it away.
You want to share it because that becomes a really important part of the journey of growth is not hoarding the knowledge, sharing it freely with other people.
And Pat has a lot of...
You hopefully you won't die like Ralph did.
Well, that's the goal.
That is certainly the goal.
But we go nice and slow.
That's what we've learned.
Slow and steady wins the race.
And that's what Pat has always said.
We don't want to move too quickly.
We don't want to disrupt the systems that we've come to rely on.
And it's really amazing, you know, how you've inspired me.
And I want to thank you again for everything that you've done, not only for me, but for several other people in this business that you've worked with.
And, you know, the trainers don't get a lot of attention.
You know, nobody calls and says, hey, what a great job.
But you've done a lot.
And I really am excited to work with you and to see where this relationship goes.
I think it's just going to be amazing.
And a lot of people are very excited that I've chosen Pat, you know, because a lot of people were worried that I would choose one of these LA bullshit trainers, but I chose someone who I believe is inspiring and committed.
Been an amazing time.
We've worked together for two months.
We haven't really done anything yet physically, but the point is to really just kind of fully, you know, he has me reading through the history of gyms and personal fitness and exercise, writing a lot about that.
And, you know, just reading a lot of theory.
And that's where I think the other trainers don't work hard like I do.
That's a good point.
A lot of them don't.
And it's unfortunate.
And it's something that I think, you know, is really amazing is that when you find somebody who gets it.
And I want to thank you.
And I just want to, I hope that you don't give up on me.
Just don't give up on me.
That's all I'm asking.
I know sometimes it might be frustrating, but we're in this for the long haul.
I just, I'm, I'm just hoping that you are in this as well for the long haul with me.
This is, you know, it's a, you're a spectacular find.
And I hope you're as committed to this as I am.
I will never give up on me, but it was a really good paycheck.
Well, there you have it.
This is my new personal trainer, Pat.
Thank you so much for everything.
And we appreciate it.
And again, if you're interested in training with Pat, contact me via DM and we'll get you his information because he's absolutely one of the best.
Thank you so much.
Bringing Pat To California00:07:08
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
That was our friend Pat.
Pat.
Our very funny friend Pat, who has muscular dystrophy, and we brought him out to California.
My voice is going, and it's not COVID.
I've tested 95 times.
No cigarettes, five days.
But you're going to hear the voices.
It's a little strained.
But instead of abandoning you and giving you nothing, we're doing an episode.
But that was our friend Pat, who we flew out here with his mother and his nurse to be a part of the show.
And, you know, no one's going to write an article about that, but maybe they should.
Maybe they should.
And maybe if you are in the press and you want to write an article and stop lying about the homes I have and start saying, who does more for people with muscular dystrophy than Tim Dylan?
Right?
Is Trash Tuesday bringing out cripples?
No.
No, no.
No, they are not.
No, they are not.
So, of course, I'm here.
And it's not, and I don't do nice things to keep bringing them up.
It's not a big deal that we paid for the whole thing and brought him out here with his family.
It doesn't matter.
It's something that anyone would have done.
And I'm not bringing it up to basically try to get goodwill for myself or for this show.
What I'm stating is a fact that we did a selfless act.
And when an act is selfless, you don't need to bring it up.
And we don't.
And I don't.
I don't bring it up.
I say one time what we did.
I tell you one time what we did.
And then if you want to go to the press, you can go to the press.
And I am available to do interviews about it because it was a nice thing to do.
He was a sweetheart of a man and we like him a lot.
And his nurse was a little bit wacky.
His nurse was a little wacky.
His nurse.
Now, again, with the nurses, I'm telling you right now, these nurses, I'm telling you, they're, I mean, it's, I'm not even going into like hacky COVID nurse shit.
That's for my special.
It'll be out in seven months.
But I'm telling you, the nurses have to be watched because this guy's nurse ended up stealing his credit card and then sucking dick for crack on Sunset Boulevard at like three o'clock in the morning.
This is true.
This is all true.
And his nurse was on many drugs and it was very strange to me.
Am I lying?
No, so far, no lies.
So far, no lies.
So I'm just saying we wish the best to everyone involved because his nurse was stunning.
The nurse hadn't been a nurse for a while and then they brought him back for this, like I think they fired him because he was doing drugs with the guy.
And then they said, you can't do drugs with him.
And I think the nurse's attitude was like, who cares?
It'll be fun.
You know, he's lived longer than we thought he would live.
Let's have a party.
And then I think the parents were like, let's not do that.
Let's get out of here.
And then they brought him back for this one trip.
And they go, oh, we're going to LA to do the Tim Dylan show.
We're going to bring you on this trip.
And the nurse then went buck wild.
As soon as he got here, he raided a mini bar.
He was insane.
And he stole the kid's credit card and he smoked crack.
And I believe he was sucking people off for crack.
This is what I heard.
And the guy has a voice app, this guy Pat.
And at the lunch, the voice app would be, he would be like, you know, the nurse is, I'm not going to say the nurse's name, but whatever.
The voice app would be like, he is also an alcoholic.
He drinks all day.
And you would just be sitting there and like looking at the nurse like, so what are you going to do?
But a lot of fun and very good and very nice people.
Chessa Budin, the San Francisco district attorney, was just recalled.
They had a recall election for Chessa Budin.
This was the guy who was, he wanted to reform the criminal justice system in San Francisco.
He wanted to reform it till there was none.
Like he was, he was basically, he was like, if you get stabbed, he was like, hey, that's part of it.
Calm down.
And he treated, he treated the drug addicts in San Francisco kind of the way I treat my friends that are on drugs.
I ignore them and I don't care what happens to them.
And I don't care who they hurt and how.
So Chessa Budin, they got him out of there because people got sick of this idea that you're just going to let the drug problem, the fentanyl problem, it's becoming so bad in San Francisco right now because there are no Republicans that live there.
Nobody lives there as a Republican.
It is the vast majority of people are somewhere on the left.
And they threw, because if you're like, if you're a hardcore Republican, you left already.
You know?
So they threw him out because they were sick of these open-air drug markets because San Francisco, there's this harm reduction policy they have that allows people on drugs to just kind of use drugs and they create areas for them to use drugs safely.
And many of these people OD and die because, you know, it's easier for them to use drugs in San Francisco than another city.
And, you know, it's sad, right?
It's a difficult, it's a difficult thing.
It's a tough thing to know what to do because fentanyl is good and people that do it for the most part are happy with it.
And I have recommended to my friends that they should look into getting a drug addiction because it's not a bad way to die.
It's a very sexy and kind of heroin chic, glamorous to be a real junkie on the street with your pussy out and bleeding and spitting and screaming.
Designing A Homeless Zone00:14:42
And there's something I like about it.
And I've always liked this and I've told you that.
I'm too old for this behavior, of course, but there's something about being a young, like rent, you know, Daphne Ruben Vega and Rent.
We've got her big Puerto Rican tits out and she's got AIDS.
There's something about that that I think is nice.
And I don't want to lose that part of San Francisco.
Like I, there's something about like a real junkie, like a real junkie who comes in her house and her mother goes, where have you been?
She goes, yeah, I don't understand me.
And she goes in and she locks herself in a room and she just cries her mascara off in the tub.
And nobody knows what's torturing her, but it's it's it's because somebody, you know, touched her inappropriately years ago at a summer camp and she can never, she can never get that out.
But she writes a poem about it.
Like she writes like a, like a, you like a three stanza poem and they decode it after her death and go, fuck Frank fingered her once in the thing and she went nuts.
But whatever it is, there's something deep and dark and sexy and important about that type of behavior.
And I don't want to get rid of all addict behavior.
I don't.
I think it's important for children, specifically children, to see people in the streets flailing their arms, foaming at the mouth, seizing up, breaking into cars.
I do think it's important to see that for children, specifically children, so that they can decide kind of which way in life they want to go.
I do like that.
I do like a little bit of Gotham City after the light has gone down.
I do like a little bit of that.
Now, it's going to be very difficult to keep that because it is hurting people and people are angry with it.
And I completely understand.
There's a lot of homeless people in California.
Tons.
I have a friend here now from Ireland that I'm showing him all the different places.
And, you know, people are, they're stunned by the inequality.
They're stunned by the inequality in the country, even with the tents, the inequality.
Some people have very big tents.
It's almost like a small home.
And some people just lay right out on the street.
So the inequality is even present in the unhoused community.
There's so much inequality even with the unhoused because some people have these beautiful structures they've built, really attached to overpasses and things.
Some people are living in cars.
And then we saw a woman take her pants off right out on the street today.
And a lot of these people are in a bad situation.
And some of them are going to be, because Rick Caruso now is coming.
Rick Caruso is the mayor of the Grove.
And he built something called the Grove.
And everyone in LA loves the Grove.
I've only been to the Grove once or twice, but people like you like the Grove, right?
Isn't it?
That's who it's for.
It's for you.
It's nice.
It's a nice.
Isn't it for you and your wife and people like that?
They have a movie theater.
They have sprinkles, cupcakes.
Right.
This is my point.
So they love it.
You know what I mean?
Like him and his wife, people like that.
It's nothing wrong with them.
These are the people that there's nothing wrong with them.
You know what I mean?
They put the fuel in the plane.
Listen.
But look, show them a photo of this, the Grove here, because it's stunning.
It's like Europe.
It's like Paris.
Oh my God.
It's like Paris, except you're in LA.
That's what's so special about it.
And it's like European and sexy.
Remember when we saw Sebastian Manascalco there once and he didn't make eye contact with us?
Love it.
Now, at the Grove, Rick Caruso is a billionaire developer, right?
We've talked about him on the show.
What happened with him?
He just, they had an election here.
I barely pay attention to what goes on here because I'm like, I don't know.
I've got my, I'm one foot out of here.
I'm one toe in, one toe out.
Tell the people what happened.
I have no voice.
So 42% to 37%.
Rick won by 5%.
But since it's not an overwhelming majority of 50%, how it works in mayoral races is that it's going to run to go into a runoff.
That was my new member.
Being blown.
So Rick Caruso is the mayor of the Grove in Los Angeles.
He owns this big, he owns this thing, stores, right?
And there's a trolley.
There is a trolley.
So there's a trolley that'll take you to a fat ass around.
And you get off the trolley and you go right into a store and you buy something.
Well, it's lovely.
Now, he's the mayor of the Grove, and now he wants to be the mayor of Los Angeles, California.
And people are upset with the homeless.
They're angry with the homeless.
And I get it.
I get it because it's gross here.
It's truly disgusting here to show anyone the city is gross.
It's embarrassing.
We went down to Santa Monica and there's just people in the middle of the street screaming going, but part of why I don't get as angry about that is it seems appropriate, right?
Like for the culture that we've created, doesn't it seem a little appropriate?
Wouldn't it be weirder if people weren't in the middle of the street screaming?
Would it be, and I'm not saying that this is a nice place, but I think the, I mean, you know, I'm just, this is the result of years and years and years and years of not giving a shit about any of the problems, right?
So like when people just go, you know, the homeless right now, it's a big problem.
I go, yes, it is.
But it's also the result of many, many years of people not caring about anything at all.
And so what that's resulted in is this societal collapse.
So it's not, it didn't happen yesterday.
It's not like a bunch of people yesterday just were like, fuck houses.
I'm out.
Now, what has happened is we've made it easier for drug addicts to do drugs and buy drugs in the street.
Not good.
I don't like that.
But fucking, I don't know, legalize drugs.
Put them, you know what I mean?
Get the methadone clinics going, figure it out, build housing for them, kill them like the Asians do.
They don't fuck with, go the other way.
You don't want to go the other way?
Go the other way.
Kill them.
The Asians will kill them.
Singapore, right?
They just kill them.
Death penalty, yeah.
Yeah, give them the death penalty then.
I don't really know which way to go.
I'm divided.
Either legalize drugs and compassionately like hold their hand and put them in a nice place and maybe suggest they don't do it like lightly.
You don't have to do that.
There is a place for you to do it if you want, but you don't have to.
Or just shoot them in the back of the head.
You know what I mean?
Like they do in Indonesia, right?
Like they have a military junta that just kills them.
I don't know what to do.
It's either or.
It's either one because in the middle doesn't seem to work.
In the middle doesn't seem to work.
Because I guess that's what we're doing now.
So you have to kill them all like they do in like Indonesia or you have to build like affordable housing and then like get high with them.
Well, I don't mean homeless people, but I mean drugs.
Sure, sure, sure.
Like drugs.
I'm not listening.
There's a lot of reasons people are homeless.
It could be everything from they have a crippling drug addiction to they were a horrible podcast producer.
There's a lot of reasons people end up on the street.
More than 7,000 killed in the Philippines in six months as the president encourages murder.
I got to be honest.
They keep telling me not to like this guy.
This guy's a very interesting person.
Rodrigo Duterte.
Now, why are they killing the people?
Is there a reason for it?
So it says this is from 2017.
He ordered the police to kill anyone they believe to be connected to the drugs trade when he assumed office in June 2016.
So, according to police counts in the Philippines, 7,025 people were killed by the police or unknown armed attackers in the war on drugs between July 1st and January 30th.
It's a hard line approach.
34 days.
It's a hardline approach.
Hardline approach here.
And that's one way to do it, right?
You could kill them all and even people that are just near them.
But there's got to be a better way than that, perhaps, but maybe not.
I don't know.
I'm not an expert in this.
Like this Chessa Boudin, he's a real problem.
But like, if I was a mayor of San Francisco, I don't know what I would do.
I don't.
Because I don't really like San Francisco.
I don't mind it.
It's foggy and cold.
I like sea lines when they're on a wharf.
You know, when they're on a wharf, it's kind of filthy.
They're kind of a filthy animal.
And I don't like the hills.
So my point is, I don't, I don't even know what I would do about the whole thing.
Marin County is nice, but I, you know, the tech people bother me.
What's worth saving is my point.
I don't know what I'm, I don't know if I'm into it.
So, I mean, I'm just saying, why not give these people a section of the city, like an entire section.
I think they have actually in San Francisco.
I think they have given them.
What I mean is like give them, give them a part of the city where they can't go anywhere else.
I mean, is that a good idea?
Like you draw a line around this area and they go, listen, this is where you get fucked up.
This is where you get fucked up, but you can't leave.
And you just get fucked up in this part.
Is that rational?
Like Chaz or something like that?
Like one of those you make it for them.
You design it.
Like, that's what I thought Rick Caruso was going to do, was design a whole area for them with a trolley and everything.
Because I think they'd like the trolley.
They could get on and off.
And what I'm imagining is that Rick Caruso is going to lock these people in a room and burn them all.
And you might have to.
Here's my thing.
There might not be a better way to do it.
You might have to just genocide everybody.
I don't know.
I mean, it seems, it seems mean.
And you'd have to explain it to your kids.
You'd have to go, that was mean.
We did a thing that was mean.
What did you do?
We did a genocide of all of the homeless people.
But I don't, I mean, I'm so out of ideas on this.
I'm so all over the place.
You know?
We don't have a lot of vigilanteism, right?
Which is nice.
There's not a lot of people driving around setting homeless people on fire.
No, it's not really a thing.
That's not really a thing.
And I'm not saying to do that.
Would it hurt?
Yes.
I'm just saying that there's ideas to that, right?
Where you go, well, I'll just start lighting them up.
Like, that's an idea that's not good.
I'm going to ideas.
I'm not going through the good ideas.
I'm going through all of the ideas.
Why don't we do like a thing where we take like Ty Lopez, Gary Van Yarchuk, Grant Cardone, all these sales trainers, and do a big reality show called America's Next Top Homeless Entrepreneur.
And it's a show where we select 10 unhoused people to compete to become an entrepreneur.
We have Chris Jenner as a guest judge.
It's shot in LA.
It's shot in the mecca of homelessness.
It's shot in the ground zero, if you will, RIP to all those people who pretended to die.
But why not do a show?
Why not do a show where you have homeless people in LA flocking?
I want every homeless person in America in LA.
We've got 70%.
I want 100%.
And I want them here.
And I want to embrace homelessness instead of like, like, instead of like, I have to be embarrassed when I'm driving this, this dude around going like, oh, yeah, this is a homeless.
I want to be like, yeah, yeah, it's the place for homeless.
Why not be like the place for homeless people?
Have a big show, like a big reality show.
Have homeless village, like entire villages and can't have class structure in the unhoused community.
Like basically, like, why not embrace it?
Why not have that be our thing?
Be like, we have more people without homes than any other city in this whole fucking dump of a country.
We have more homeless people.
But I think it's a great idea.
America's, and you know, all of these sales trainers and motivational speakers can really coach these homeless fentanyl addicts whose minds were scrambled in many of our illegal and amoral wars.
And like, and they would scream at them.
They'd go, just stay on brand.
And like a guy would go, he's like, he's selling vests.
You know, he'd be like, they told me to do things in Iraq.
I didn't want to do them.
Reality Show For Homeless People00:04:15
I didn't want to.
I can't stop hearing the voice.
And then like Gary Vee and Grant Cardone, everybody would be like, just stay on brand.
Stay on brand.
And that would be, that would be nice because then the homeless people would have to remember, oh shit, yeah, that's not fun.
Nobody likes that.
Nobody wants that.
I have to be, but I mean, if there's, there's, there's got to be a route for a lot of these homeless people to develop their own sense of self-worth through American capitalism.
Capitalism has to save the day here.
And I think it can if we start a big reality show where psychopathic homeless people attack each other and vilify each other on camera to show who can withstand that really, really, that gauntlet of really tough shit that it takes to be a fucking killer.
Because I'm getting sick of this.
I'm getting sick of feeling bad for the unhoused and I'm getting sick of it.
I want them on television now.
If we're not going to kill them, I want them to be on TV because I've always wanted to be on TV.
And I think being on TV is nice.
I think it's a nice thing.
And I think if you live in Los Angeles, it always crosses your mind.
And I think there's a lot of great shows here.
And there's a great show about homeless people.
Just put the cameras in the tents, select a few of them, select a few.
What about a homeless big brother?
10 people in like a big tent in a really big tent in a parking lot.
And at the end of the show, we burn it down.
And it seems like it seems cruel, but then the reality is they're all like, they escape and we go, congrats, now you have houses.
But isn't it nice?
So they run out of the tent and it's full of smoke and stuff.
And then they get there and they go, now you have houses.
Now you have homes.
I don't know what to do.
I'm just saying this whole thing here has gotten so problematic that I'm unaware of what to do.
I don't know what to do.
All I can say is that I'm hopeful.
All I can say is that
I'm hopeful.
He is going to, this is, again, this is from his mouth.
He said he's gonna quote, separate the men from the boys, and this is some of the.
So these are some of the this, these are his programs, these are some of his policies that he's gonna do right here.
Rick Caruso's City Plans00:12:40
Um, this is very interesting.
Again, this is a yeah.
So he said that one yeah, that's gonna be.
Uh, they're gonna do that down by Hollywood.
This is gonna be Down in Venice Beach, this one.
There you go.
See that right there, Venice Beach.
Clear everybody out.
Again, these are some, and we may need it.
It may need to happen.
All right.
It may need to happen.
I don't know what to do anymore.
The left doesn't, they don't make any sense.
They're like, just let people shit on the street and do heroin.
And the right's like, make all those people subscribe to the Daily Wire and start businesses.
None of it's right.
The cops aren't going to be able to solve everything because, you know, how'd they do with that Uvalde, by the way?
Isn't it great?
And I understand the need to have comps.
People think I'm a fascist because they say we need police.
But this Uvalde thing really shows you that there are some cops out here that it's just not great.
Uvaldi Schools Police Chief.
I didn't know I was in charge of the shooting scene.
Yeah, well.
Yep.
It's a lot of, you know, all we hear is how brave the comp, you know, everybody's brave and the cops are brave.
And, you know, it's brave.
They just didn't, you know, they didn't do anything.
But, yeah, I mean, you know, what are you going to do?
Run in the school?
He should say that.
He should go, what did you expect me to do?
Like, run in the school?
Save your own kids.
These are all the brave police that didn't run into the school.
I have friends that are cops.
All my friends that are cops.
They would run into school and start shooting the kids because they're so, it's crazy.
But, you know, I mean, what if homeless people guarded schools and we paid them to do that?
Because they're like terrifying.
And you'd have to shoot through them to get to the kids.
What if you had to shoot through homeless people to get to the kids?
I mean, is that a bad idea to just have a bunch of homeless people outside of a school?
You'd have to shoot through them as a shield.
Use homeless people as a human shield to protect the children.
There's worse ideas than the ones I'm talking about.
Francis Ellis is coming up.
He's a fun guy from Bar School Sports.
We've got a musical guest.
The episode isn't that long today because I can't talk.
I can't fucking speak.
I just wanted to come in here and celebrate.
What was I?
What are we celebrating?
We're celebrating.
Well, there's a lot to celebrate, I suppose.
Like what?
It's Pride weekend this weekend.
Oh, it's Pride Month.
It's a whole month.
Yeah, well, they're doing the Pride Parade this weekend.
It's a Pride parade.
You think Rick Caruso will be at that?
Gay people love him.
They're all rich.
Yeah, they're all lying.
Oh, come a little bit.
Oh, yeah, who cares?
What the four fat lesbians on Twitter who write for, like, no one respects, who write for these shows nobody watches on Hulu and these garbage shows on fucking Fox and shit.
These four fat, non-binary people, they don't like them.
Yeah.
But a lot of gay people are rich and they want Caruso when they're putting the homeless in a frying pan.
So, I mean, let's cut it out.
You think gay people left their homes in the middle of America, you know, where their parents hated them.
They came here.
They got successful so that they could step in, piss, and shit.
This is, you know what I mean?
This isn't, they don't want that.
But of course, there's like some fat unicorn on Twitter who's like, you know, it's just some fat woman who's cross-eyed tweeting about how Rick Caruso's like, you know, the fucking, you know, Boston strangler.
Who's the one from London?
Oh, the Jack the Ripper?
Yeah, he's like Jack the Ripper.
Gay people don't care.
So Rick Caruso go down there in suits and just putting hundreds in like Twinks fucking G-strings.
Daddy Caruso.
You think Rick Caruso go down there in full leather as like a leather daddy?
That'd be great.
If he's on a float with billionaires, they're all just throwing money.
He's dressed up like a leather daddy.
And he's like, I'm going to make this city safe so you can get sucked off in a park again.
He gives a big speech.
He's going to get this city used to be a place where you could go get AIDS in a park quietly without worrying if some fucking schizophrenic was going to throw his own shit at you unless you were into that.
Getting shit thrown at you used to be something that was prearranged in this city.
Now it's not.
I want to make this city safe for random strangers to suck each other's cocks without knowing each other's names on benches again the way it used to be.
I want to make this city safe where women and children were horribly abused by rich people and thrown into the street to deal with it.
I want to make this city safe for the people that made great art, like Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Brett Ratner, and others.
I want to make this city safe.
You know, people like Brian Singer would take, you know, 15-year-olds that got here from Omaha, drug them up, and use them like popsicles.
I want this city safe.
Like he's doing this speech.
He goes, I want this city safe.
He goes, it's been taken over by fat lesbians with no sense of humor.
That's not what LA is about.
It's about fags with guns.
People are clapping.
There's a woman with a baby who's crying.
He's like, the movies we make are shit now.
The TV shows suck.
He goes, if you're anything like me, you got to watch a Filipino maid got beat to death on the dark web to come.
Nobody's clapping.
He goes, if you want to laugh now, you just have to watch old fucking videos in 9-11.
He goes, you can't even laugh unless you're watching 9-11 videos, if you're anything like me.
People are going, yeah, fuck yeah, Rick.
This city's gone in a bad direction.
He goes, this is a city of beautiful people that's been taken over by ugly, untalented monsters.
I want fat people out of here.
I want fat people to feel the shame they felt when I first moved here, where a fat woman would break down in tears after what I would say to her at a grocery store.
I want that LA back.
People are just screaming, Caruso, Caruso.
I want cruelty back.
I want evil back.
By the way, I would vote for him if he did this.
I bet I don't, I don't even live here, but I'm saying the reality is that's what we need, like an inspiring speech about what LA is.
He's like, LA is a city about people that move here to become something.
And in order to do that, they destroy everything about themselves.
And then they become something completely different than the thing they were.
They reinvent themselves.
And then at the end of their lives, they all get trapped in these big mansions and they end up in pools.
Nobody understands what it's like to be them.
And they're just fucking paranoid demons.
And then people want to be them and they move here.
They befriend these demons.
That's what LA is.
It's a city about freedom.
He goes, it's the greatest city in the world.
LA is such a great city.
He just starts screaming.
He's like, he goes, I want blood.
I want blood again.
People are like, yeah, this is beautiful.
I mean, maybe he'll go down there pride week, give a real speech.
He's like, lesbians used to be in the valley.
Keep their mouths shut.
This city is about closeted CEOs getting sucked off by fucking coked out rent boys.
He's clapping.
It's not about fat lesbian comedy writers who look like shit.
They look like shit.
They have no sense of humor.
They're gross.
They should be in New York.
Everyone's clapping.
I don't care where you went to school.
That's New York shit.
We don't have school shootings.
Our kids are too stupid.
They're all on OnlyFans.
You can't traffic our kids.
They traffic themselves.
Big deal clapping.
Thank you, Rick.
My son's a DJ, for Christ's sake.
But I mean, you know, we wish it well.
He'll be fine.
He'll be fine.
He's going to be okay, isn't it?
Isn't it going to be okay?
It's going to be okay.
You had Francis Ellis coming up here at Barstool Sports.
What did he do?
He hit a woman in the head with a brick or something.
Whatever.
They don't let him work anymore.
He hit a woman in the head with a brick.
I don't know what he did.
He must have done something.
Oh, he made a joke on a blog about a woman who's dead.
Well, what are you going to do?
Rick Caruso left.
Rick Caruso.
He should have a video where a campaign ad where it's just some models like sucking them off.
You just see her head going up and down.
And he's got a gun to her head like this as he's going up and down.
And he goes, you know, my favorite thing about LA?
He goes, some people say it's the weather.
But he goes, you know what I like about it?
You just see her head bobbing up and down.
He's got a gun right on her head.
He's like, you know what I really like about LA?
He goes, I liked it.
He goes, it's something that just gets in you.
You can't really explain what it is.
It's just a certain magic that the city has, you know, in her head.
And he's like, okay, get ready.
I'm close.
And he's just jamming the gun in her head.
He goes, I'm close.
I'm close.
And it's like, this ad was paid by for Rick Caruso.
He'll be fine.
This city is going to be fine.
He'll solve it all if he gets elected.
Shipping Homeless To Palmdale00:14:51
What's a serious proposal for the homeless?
What can you really do?
I was reading in Santa Monica how they solved it in the 90s.
How'd they do it?
They ship them off.
Where do they go?
I think Palmdale.
They always put them in Palmdale.
Yeah, they give them a free bus pass and they just ship them off somewhere else.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I looked up the most homeless people are in Santa Cruz outside San Francisco.
And I think my theory is they must just bust them down there because it's outside San Jose.
They must just keep pushing them further and further south.
Interesting.
I don't know what to do.
Part of me thinks we should just have like burn pits where we just burn them alive.
And part of me thinks we have to build affordable housing.
It's between those two ideas.
One of them would be a burn pit where they would be burned alive and then used to fertilize.
Can you use people as fertilizer?
I don't think you burn them.
Oh, interesting.
I'm trying to avoid comparisons to the Holocaust.
I don't want it to feel like the Holocaust if we burn these people.
Is there a way to do a death camp that's not reminiscent of the Holocaust for homeless people in LA?
Like, is there a way to do it where it does, it's not like Holocaust vibes?
Yeah.
There's a way to do it, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could use water, like a drowning.
Well, somebody told me about this thing called Doula.
It was this thing I didn't invest in, but it's water cremation.
Oh.
Water cremation because it's better for the environment.
So what if we just use water to cremate homeless people?
You cooked them in a pot.
Oh.
So if we cooked them in a pot, you can cook people in a pot, right?
So I don't know.
There's two, I have two ideas.
One is that we cook them in a pot.
Number two, like a very big industrial pot.
Like it's one of the biggest pots you've ever seen.
And we cook people in it.
The other thing is that we try to build affordable housing and get them in that.
But I don't, but I don't know.
Do you know what I mean?
Because that might not work.
We may have to do the pot anyway.
So you just do the pot now.
That's my whole thing with the affordable housing.
It may not work.
So do you just do the pot now?
Can this be a real issue?
Because some of the people in the crowd are going to go, do the pot.
Just do the pot now.
And I'm going to go because we could do one of two things.
I would give people the option.
I go, if I was Rick Russo, I'd go, we could build affordable housing or we could put the people in this pot that we've built and cremate them using water, high-pressure water at a high heat.
We stew them alive.
Or we could do this housing where we build 30 units and then people just start yelling, do the pot, Rick.
Rick, do the pot.
Well, we could try to get them in.
We'll put them in a job training program.
What kind of water goes in the pot?
Are you sure they won't survive?
They can't get out, right?
Well, we could then maybe when you're in a job training program, we offer incentives to companies to then hire them.
But what do you do with the waste from the pot after they've been dealt with?
I mean, all I can say is that I hope everyone is well.
Happy pride to everyone.
Why are you laughing?
No, it's just it's it's it's very funny to say all those things and then wish uh people well.
Well, what are you gonna do?
People need to be wished well, people need that.
People need that in their lives.
I just want to get like so low.
I want to be so like out of it where I just I'm like kind of like this.
I want to broadcast like this, like to the end.
Like at the end, I go, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
The homeless have breached the studio again.
What about Barry Weiss?
Can't she go out and give these homeless people a talking to what if she goes out and gives them a talking to?
You know, her wife, Nellie Bowles, wrote a good thing about the San Francisco homeless.
It was about how San Francisco became.
She wrote something about the homeless in San Francisco.
And I read the article and it was pretty good.
In the Atlantic?
Maybe.
Yes.
Yes.
How San Francisco became a failed city and how it could recover.
Now, I wanted to hire a homeless person to write a rebuttal called San Francisco is Great.
G-R-A-T-E.
She makes some points here about the homeless.
You know, $117,000 salary counts as low income for a family of four in San Francisco.
It's crazy.
Yeah, that's nuts.
It's so fucking nuts, right?
It's crazy.
It's a good article.
Yeah.
And she writes about how San Francisco became such a problem and then what to do about it.
And her idea is basically if you get a big pot.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
You can't put people in a big pot.
But, like, what would you have to do?
You'd have to get them.
You'd have to sweep them off the streets.
And then you'd have a big, you'd have a picture of a chemical treatment facility where they'd be dissolved very quickly.
You'd throw them in something that would dissolve their bones and skin and teeth.
But where would that waste go?
Could you shoot it into space?
So what you would do essentially is you would dissolve the people in a pot And then you would shoot, you would shoot their waste into space.
Yeah, you could, I guess you could profit off of it, maybe, like if you turn it into vitamins or pills, maybe of some kind.
You wouldn't go in immediately.
You'd get a few chances.
But like on the third, and then the cops would also have that over your head.
They go, you go into the pot.
If you, if third time, third time's a charm, third time's a pot.
People in the street be like, yo, that motherfucker went to the pot.
And we would use chemicals to dissolve people.
And they would go away.
It's a thought.
It's a thought.
Rubber Caruso's like, she's like, remember when your mother, she goes, I'm Italian.
Your mother would have a pot of sauce.
We got a pot of problems.
But we're going to dissolve people, their skin and their bones and their teeth using a high, highly effective and environmentally safe chemical that allows people to be dissolved within a matter of minutes and eliminated from our society.
Never to be seen or heard from it.
And every person that gets dissolved, they like do a little nice thing, like they do like a nice, it's like there's a thing that happens.
It's not like a total loss.
Okay.
There's like a rib, they put a ribbon around a fence or something.
And then we just have a very long fence.
And every time we dissolve a human being, we put a ribbon around the fence.
Because it's not going to get better if we don't start thinking about how to dissolve people in a pot.
People can get mad at this and people can get offended at it.
But what else are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
Give them all jobs at Geico?
Put them in a pot.
The judge looks at you right in the eye.
You go to a court and she goes, it's your third time here.
And you know what that means?
You go into the pot.
And the person goes.
And then she just clicks to gavel.
And there's no appeals.
You don't even spend the night in jail.
You're taken from the courthouse to the pot immediately.
Before you know what happens, they hit you while you're standing here in court.
They hit you with a tranquilizer.
And then you wake up for a minute.
Right before, like it's maybe an hour trank.
You wake up for a minute.
You're in a little cell.
And there's a door.
And the cell gets really, really like hot.
Like your feet, you got to like, you got to open the door.
So you end up opening the door.
And then you just, you, it's kind of like there's like a wall that pushes you out and you go right into the pot.
Right into the pot.
And you're dissolved immediately, instantaneously.
This is jobs.
This is a great way to figure it out.
And if a lot of people out there are interested in this and excited about this, write to Rick Caruso.
Tweeted him.
I heard, I'm very excited about your new program to dissolve the homeless people using chemicals.
Can you go into this?
Can you speak on this?
Rick, I was at a party in Hancock Park, and one of my friends said he was going to be working for the company that provides you the chemicals in which you're going to dissolve the homeless people once they had had their last shot.
They're going right to the pot.
That could be his slogan.
Caruso, what's his slogan now?
Does he have one?
He's going to have something, right?
He doesn't really have one.
For the love of LA.
I think that's it.
Yeah.
You know what I think it should be?
To the pot.
Rick Caruso, you're going to the pot.
Go up for a second.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, that is nice.
That's sweet.
It's everybody at the Grove.
It's everyone at the Grove.
It's all the employees of the Grove.
He said, you're all fired if you don't get out into the street with Dodgers' jerseys, look as Hispanic as possible, and endorse me right now.
That guy in the wheelchair looked at Rick.
He goes, Hey, Rick, I really enjoyed this photo shoot.
Can I have the rest of the day off?
Rick goes, get the fuck back and work right now.
I'll kill you.
You want to go to the pot?
And if the pot works in LA, it's pots for everyone, pots for San Francisco.
Dallas will have a pot.
They'll already put in a pot.
Oh, yeah.
They'll put it in a frying pot.
Dallas goes, we fry people here in oil.
This is a good story.
Rick's grandparents came to America from Italy through Ellis Island.
They were very big supporters of Mussolini.
It's weird to put it in a bio, but it's funny.
His father served in World War II, even though he disagreed with America's stance.
He said, oh, this is in a bio.
It's very funny.
This is in a bio.
In 1987, Rick founded Caruso, creating tens of thousands of jobs and building some of Southern California's most beloved community centers, including the Grove.
He served two stents at the Department of Water and Power, reformed the LAPD, and oversaw a 30% reduction in crime as president of the LA police.
I mean, he probably will clean this.
Listen, LA needs somebody, and it probably has to be this guy because things are really bad.
I just hope he gets a pot and cooks people in it.
Today, he's running for mayor of LA to put an end to street homelessness, make our community safer, safer, clean up corruption, and construct a very large pot in which he will use environmentally safe chemicals to dissolve homeless people immediately on contact.
Wow.
Rick Caruso.
He's a good man.
He probably does need to win.
As much as we joke, he probably does need to win because, you know, I don't know what else there is here to do.
Being Out Of Frame00:13:50
I know I'm out of frame.
I like when I'm out of frame like this.
That is very funny.
It's funnier.
It's funnier to not be in a frame.
It's funnier to be completely out of frame like this.
That's a better show to just do this.
Because, you know, people get mad when we don't do audio only, when we do audio-only episodes.
There's something funny about me being just completely out of frame for the entire episode.
It's great comedy.
Francis Ellis joins us, blogger at one time at Barstool Sports.
You had an incident that changed your life.
Can you go into that a little bit?
Sure.
I wrote a blog about a woman, a woman who was missing in Utah.
Her sorority sisters had told the FBI she was missing.
Right.
So there was sort of this legally blonde element that I thought was funny.
It's funny.
Yeah.
And then I just wrote a blog, and two hours after I wrote it, she was found brutally murdered.
And then I obviously looked tasteless after the fact.
It's unfortunate.
And I was fired.
And you were one of the first people to call me to let me know that the world had not ended.
Right.
You know, in Batman Lee, when he says, yeah, a hero can be anybody, even someone putting a coat over a boy's shoulders to let him know that his world hasn't ended.
Right.
And you were that for me.
Right.
What did I say again?
You called me and you said, Buddy, what happened?
And you told me that my life wasn't over.
Right.
Because all I was seeing were torrents of horrific headlines about what a monster I was.
How could I possibly have done this?
You know, it probably happened.
What's really fun is when these things happen, you call the person, you go, it's going to be okay.
Then you call six other people and go, they are so fucked.
Like, I think I did that.
I think I called like seven people.
I was like, that guy's fucked.
And then I think I called you and I went, it's going to be fine.
Yeah.
Because that's what most of us do.
Yeah.
I was calling people that didn't even know you.
I'm like, he's shot.
He's completely fucked.
I didn't know that.
But that's what everyone does.
That's what we ever.
It's what everyone does.
I call everyone and tell them they're going to be okay.
Because it's true.
It meant a lot to me.
Well, I was right.
Yeah, you were.
Nobody.
Things are better now.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Nobody, nobody.
They moved on to far more torn-up pastures, I guess.
There's other problems.
Yeah.
The Epstein story broke three days after my you wonder if it was three days before you might have been okay.
It's a good question.
Did you ever think about that?
Yeah, mine would have been lost in the shovel.
72 hours, maybe no one cared.
I know.
I wonder.
Does Portner ever say to you, like, hey, I'm sorry it went down like that?
No.
Yeah.
And Business Insider, they tried to run a hit piece on me.
Is that right?
Yeah.
This guy that used to work for them was a comic.
It didn't work out.
Amazing.
And he went to go work for Business Insider and he called me, did an hour-long interview with me.
They said, Hey, will and I called him like seven months later.
I went, What the fuck?
Yeah, there you go.
Tim Dylan blows whistle on Business Insider's failed hit piece.
Oh, I remember that.
I called the writer back and I went, Hey, what happened?
And the writer said they were uninterested because he goes, I interviewed you for an hour and I didn't come to the conclusion that you were like a right-wing psychopath.
So they didn't want to run the article unless it was that angle.
Wait a minute, what is that Kyle Rittenhouse tweet they have for me?
I'm not sure.
Kyle Rittenhouse was crying because he accidentally misgendered a court clerk.
That kind of responsibility is rare to see in young men.
Who could get angry at that?
I mean, who could?
Why would anyone be mad at that?
They put that in an.
I mean, I don't even go on Twitter too much anymore.
I just we tweet the clips taking a minute.
Good.
It's just too much.
You've earned it.
I've earned a minute and then we'll see what's going to happen.
But now this has changed your life.
Now you're actually working on things that are very important to society at large.
That's right.
And what are they?
Well, let's call it a large PR tour.
You're like white.
Yes.
You're rich.
Right?
I mean, am I allowed to say that?
Sure.
You're kind of like a Yale legacy.
I went to Harvard.
Okay.
Harvard.
I apologize.
But no one in my family did.
Interesting.
So you're the first one.
They were all Yale.
Okay.
That's what I thought.
Yeah.
Because I did your podcast years and years ago.
Your grandfather was like one of the founding guys of CIA, right?
He's in Skull and Bones.
Skull and Bones.
And then went to CIA.
Interesting.
So it's amazing that you do this.
Isn't that amazing a little?
Yeah.
That it went from that to this.
Isn't that the American Empire?
It's the end of it, really.
The guy's got a keyboard.
We're in Hollywood.
He's doing a thing.
Anyway, but the point is, you could be in Morocco stabbing someone with a poisoned pen.
But you're here now and it's what's important.
It's what your grandfather came to this country for you to do is play on a keyboard.
Now, I mean, he wasn't.
We've been here a long time.
He was not, he did not come to me.
We didn't come here.
He's a pilgrim, right?
He's one of those guys.
But I mean, come in spiritually from Europe.
You know, this is why they came here eventually so that we could do this.
It is true.
We have the privilege to do fake business for years and years.
I love the fake.
I know.
I've done it myself.
We have a line that's coming out.
We have a clothing line.
It's very good.
We have another one now happening.
You call people up sometimes and fuck with them?
Well, when I was doing Stand Up in New York early on, I was tutoring.
Right.
And I started a tutoring company.
Right.
This is a small thing.
Yeah.
To just make us more legit.
And I then called all of the sort of most prestigious tutoring agencies in New York posing as a father to find out their rates and their techniques and things.
And I would describe my daughter having severe needs education and get the price points and all of that.
And I mean, it was fun.
So to figure out where you needed to be.
Yeah.
Right.
It was fun pretending to be a dad.
It's always fun.
Lie to these agencies.
It's always fun to make fun, to make up things.
Yeah.
It's great.
It really is.
It's always fun to waste people's time.
Yeah.
It's the only reason we're here on earth.
I love it.
So now you're doing this new thing and you finally realized you're white, man.
Yeah.
After all these years.
I was told I did not choose it.
I know.
So you finally figured it out.
Yeah.
And you're like, I'm a privileged fucking guy.
But then, so now you're embracing this.
You've written a song about this where because you've decided that you're going to have the back of people that have been historically marginalized and that you kind of understand what they're going through.
Yeah.
And I think more importantly, I sort of saw the virtue of people who do defend these people.
That's right.
More of that.
I think that they're almost more of the people that defend them, I think, are really more important even than the people that are being abused.
For sure.
Because the people that defend them are like, oh my God, wow.
And if they didn't, we wouldn't know.
That's right.
They put themselves in front of the imaginary train that may or may not be coming.
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
Those are the people that I want to be.
Yeah, the mouthpieces.
Absolutely.
Well, I drive my Bentley through a bed area to go to a taco truck and I see a pit bull chasing a young girl.
And I think, you know what I mean?
I think, hey, what's going on here?
That's what I say to myself.
But why don't you tweet it?
I'm trying to spend some time off Twitter, but when I see that, I feel like I should do more about that.
But all it would take is a tweet.
Is just to let people know that there's young women being chased by dogs.
It might have been her dog.
She was happy and smiling.
But the point is, the whole thing threw me.
I didn't get it.
Also, the lawn furniture was oddly mismet.
The point, I didn't understand what was happening.
But the point is, it may not have been a violent thing.
But this song, I wanted to have you on because it spoke to me and because it really is about those people that go out there and they make a difference.
Even if they're just changing the perception of who they are, it's still important.
It's important to be like some of them are out right now talking about the LA Sheriff's race.
I didn't even know it was happening, but it's very important.
And there was a virtual sheriff's Zoom the other day that Will should have joined to hear the different sheriff candidates and what they're going to do about Nazi gangs in the LAPD, which apparently are a lot of them, too many.
But one of the people I know on Instagram is a television writer is deeply involved in the sheriff's race in Los Angeles, making sure that everything's on the up and up.
More power to them.
But I love this song because it speaks to me.
It's the hero, the heroic group out there.
Have you ever spoken to that girl's family that was brutally murdered?
Have you ever reached out?
You ever say, sorry?
No.
Humbly, I believe that they probably had too much going on to even have noticed.
No, I don't think that's true.
What your joke was the biggest thing of that week for them.
So if you could really, I mean, maybe go visit them and bring cameras and sit down with them and film it.
And it would just be you at their table and just saying, hi, I'm Francis Ellis and I made this joke.
I'm sorry about what happened to your daughter, but I didn't kill her.
I made a joke and have them forgive you for the joke.
Have them forgive you and like take your hand.
It could be a beautiful moment.
I wonder if enough time has passed.
Good question.
You might want to wait a little bit.
Those wounds might still be a little fresh.
That's a good point.
And how did you, I mean, this is sad the way that it's sad when anyone dies.
I've said that before, haven't I?
Yes, you have.
Well, no, and I've meant that.
I'm not being facetious.
When anyone dies, there's an element of, you go, what?
You know, and then it's also sad.
And it's very tough.
It is.
But it's shocking, too.
People found in parks.
It's crazy.
These national parks aren't good for anyone.
So please play this song that I love and love and love.
This is Francis Ellis used to be from Barcelona Sports before he made fun of the dead.
And now, where are you?
If people like you and want more of your thing, where can they find it?
If someone goes, my sister was just murdered and I want you to get her, where can they get you?
Where can they hire you to do a roast of the dead?
On my podcast.
Lovely.
It's called Oops the Podcast.
Oops the podcast.
Julio Gallery.
Marketing back to gotcha.
Oops the podcast and social media-wise, if they want to find you.
Francis Ellis, you'll find me on Twitter.
Take it away.
This song's amazing.
Thanks Tim.
Cop pulled me over and asked why I was speeding.
I said I'm headed to the mountain for a big day of skiing.
He said I figured it was that from the skis on your back and then we both kind of chuckled as he handed me back.
My license registration told me try to slow down.
We've got a lot of people speeding through the stretch of our town.
I promised that I would, I said I understood.
And I always try my best to drive the way that I should.
He said goodbye, enjoy the slopes and I drove off down the road.
But when I got around the bend, I put the pedal to the floor.
And when I finally arrived, I was greeted by a sight that made me shiver and quiver and shake with fright.
Cause the line at the chairlift was 50 people long.
By the time I took my first run, all the powder was gone.
All because some local cop had to flex on me.
I'm just another victim of brutality.
Brutality.
It can happen to you if it happened to me.
I understand the nuances of brutality.
Winter is a time of darkness.
When the sun goes down early and everyone is heartless.
The days are short and the nights are long.
Taking Down Patriarchy00:03:26
And you'll wake up with the feeling that it's all going wrong.
When you feel like you're stuck in a hole and your brain starts to tell you it can't take anymore.
And you no longer care to learn what lies around the bend.
So you start to think of ways to bring your life to an end.
Don't instead take a trip to Toulouse.
Find the beach in Turks and Caicos.
Snorkela Lagoohoon.
Find that good weed in Jamaica.
Buy a house in Southampton, Tim.
Get that going.
Put your worries on the shelf.
The purpose of MLK Weekend is to utilize your wealth.
Oh, spend it on yourself.
There's no price on mental health.
Don't kill yourself.
A-L-L-Y.
I'm a motherfucking ally.
Hell high, I know just what you're going through.
And I feel it too.
And I'm here for you online all the time.
Every day around the world, a woman gets robbed.
She makes 30% less for the same exact job.
She endures the horny glances, the delusional advances.
Guys like, hi, my name is Francis from the toxic male mob.
But the time has now come to bring the wage gap to an end.
Time to rip down these structures that were only built for men.
Time to take a wrecking ball to the ancient patriarchy.
Say your boss sent you a dick pic at the holiday party.
A-L-L-Y, I'm a motherfucking ally.
Hell high, I know just what you're going through.
And I feel it too.
And I'm here for you online all the time.
L-G-B-T-Q.
She, her, he, him, they there.
Animals are friends, not food.
Jada pinkets, lack of hair.
And me to save Ukraine.
Put a stop to Asian hatred.
Microplastics overfishing.
Blockers who joke about missing women, bandspreading on public transit, Leah Thomas, you pen swimming, NAACP, border family separations, Joe Rogan's misinformation, spreading fears of vaccination, cultural appropriation, Louis C.K.'s masturbation, me, me, look at me, I'm so full of empathy.
I'm on the right side of history.
Just like and share my tweet, tweet, tweets like A-L-L-I.
I'm a motherfucking ally.
I know just what you're going through, and I feel it too.
And I'm here for you online all the time.
Thank you.
Francis Ellis, everybody.
We love that.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for changing your life.
Thank you for changing your life and realizing that there's a lot of good that can be done.
Yes.
There's a lot of good that can be done and you're doing it.