Tim sits down with Luis Gomez to discuss family vacation destinations on a budget, the Gringo Papi, the collapse of the LA podcast scene, and why Tim bought a new car.Follow Luis:https://luisofskanks.com/https://twitter.com/luisjgomezhttps://www.youtube.com/c/LuisJGomezComedy/videosBonus episodes every week:▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:WATCHES▶▶ for 20% off go to https://www.vincerocollective.com/timdillon🔒 VPN:Get three months free▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon📦 BOX OF AWESOME▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% offCRYPTO▶▶ http://exodus.com/tim to start free. Over 4 million people trust Exodus to manage their crypto. Join the movement away from traditional finance by downloading Exodus.ONNIT▶▶ Go to http://onnit.com/tim for 10% offEVERY MAN JACK▶▶ https://www.everymanjack.com to get 20% off your first purchase use code DILLON🎧 HEADPHONES:For 15% off!▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim👨🦱 HAIR LOSS:▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon💆THERAPY▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMDBIRD DOGS!▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLONATHLETIC GREENS▶▶ https://athleticgreens.com/timdillonMASTERWORKS▶▶ https://masterworks.art/timSIMPLI SAFE▶▶ https://simplisafe.com/timdillon to save 20%MUD\WTR▶▶ https://mudwtr.com/tim use code TIM for $5 off▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/🐦 Twitter:https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!:http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows📹 Subscribe to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4woSp8ITBoYDmjkukhEhxgListen on Spotify!https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▶▶ Ed McMahonbenavery33@gmail.comhttps://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬#TheTimDillonShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Getting a Jeep00:09:58
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
Late May, getting ready for the summer.
One of my favorite people, the guy who told me to start a podcast, this is a fact.
Yeah.
You are.
What is his?
What is the name?
Louis Gomez.
Louis J. Gomez.
I always have to say Louis Gomez.
I know.
Why is it so important to Jay?
Well, I mean, look, at this point, it's not really important.
Not for you.
Not for you.
If I didn't correct you, it would be weird.
It's a whole thing.
It's not.
I just.
Paul F. Tompkins.
If you call Paul Tompkins, he'll never be on this show.
That'll never ever come up in my life.
I understand.
Is Paul F. Tompkins on this show?
Yeah.
No, it doesn't really.
You know what it is, honestly?
Why I use the J?
Truthfully, it's because when I was a child and I was practicing my autograph, the loops of your signature.
Yeah, yeah, my autograph.
I love that you call it an autograph.
No, but I wasn't practicing my signature.
I was practicing an autograph.
That you were going to one day give to people.
Yeah, I was going to one day, which is a weird thing because nobody asks for autographs.
I mean, nobody wants an autograph.
But the J looked so good.
The Louisian.
Yeah.
You know, very low.
Now, my Instagram handle is Tim J. Dillon.
There's something about a J that's nice.
It puts that stop between the two words.
Donald J. Trump.
Donald J. Trump.
Louis J. Gomez.
Tim J. Dillon.
I get it.
We're talking about a lot of things.
Obviously, the economy is a horror.
Yeah.
And you have a child.
You know how much things cost.
Food.
Yeah.
I try not to pay attention.
Of course.
Genuinely.
Genuinely.
Yeah.
You just don't pay attention.
I don't.
If I were like that, I'll drive myself fucking crazy, dude.
Yeah.
Gas prices.
If my life was dictated where I was walking around going, dude, these fucking gas problems.
Yeah.
Look, it sucks.
And I know it drives the price up of everything, right?
But at the same time, like, that's not the game I'm playing.
I'm not driving down the gas prices.
Right.
So what's the point about caring?
That's a great point.
You can't affect it.
Yeah.
But it's just a truism.
It's out there.
Yeah.
It's out there.
It's tough.
Of course.
I only, you know, you play your cards.
That's what I say.
I agree.
Yeah.
You got you got to do what you can do out there.
But you're also, you have a business.
You're doing well.
I'm doing all right.
There's a lot of.
I'm not doing fucking Tim Dylan well.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Tim, you know what Tim did yesterday?
He goes, I'm in his apartment and he goes, he's like, I'm going to go buy a car.
And I'm like, all right, that's cool, dude.
And I was telling about how Big J has a Jeep.
Yeah.
I was like, a Jeep's actually under the radar.
Like you're really dope.
So then he was like, yeah, I'm going to get a Jeep.
Yeah.
And I was like, really?
I was like, I was surprised.
And he was like, I was like, yeah, good for the money.
I like it.
Yes.
And then he came back two hours later to bring me to the gym in a fucking Bentley.
Bentley Flying Spur.
And I was like, I thought you would get a Jeep.
He's like, we're going to get a fucking Jeep.
I left the apartment thinking about getting a Jeep.
I did.
And, but here's the reality: you know, I didn't end up getting the Jeep.
I had not slept.
Here's a fair point.
Yeah.
I had not slept in 48 hours.
I was all fucked up from Australia from the jet lag.
Yeah.
When I got back, and I told him, I gave him a whole big speech about financial responsibility the night before about how you have to save your money, things don't last forever, and eventually we're probably going to have to live in a state like Florida, you know, because it's less expensive to own property and the taxes are better.
And I said, we just got to be smart about our money.
Of course, I gave him a real big speech.
And the next day, I bought a Bentley.
Bought a Bentley.
And I've always wanted this.
Rolled off the lot, $30,000 just melts off of it immediately.
Well, sure.
That's, yeah.
Of course.
But here's the other thing.
Those cars do have a resale, a decent resale.
Yeah.
Because there's always going to be somebody that wants that car.
It's not going to be as much.
It's, I, you know, it's funny.
It's just a car that I would never, I would never get that car.
It's incredible.
It's beautiful.
Right.
And I just feel like if I were to get that car, I would also need a driver.
Like Ben should be driving you around.
Hey, by the way, by the way.
Agreed.
Yeah, he really should.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Zero argument for me.
Zero argument for me in that thing.
Tim are in such different worlds, right?
Like he pulled in.
I thought we were going to his apartment before we were going to lunch yesterday.
Yeah.
And he pulls into the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Yeah.
And I started to take my bags out of the back thinking we're home.
He's like, I don't live here, you fucking idiot.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, no, no, no.
Well, it's, it's a, um, we've been lucky because we have a friend who has a really, really big podcast and he's had me on a bunch.
And he's the most influential podcaster in the world.
And his name is Tony Inchcliffe.
And by doing that show so many times, I was exposed to lots of people.
Yeah.
And I was able to get it get a big group of people listening.
So we're happy about that.
I also don't have kids.
I'm not going to have kids.
I don't have a family.
It allows me to kind of misbehave.
For you to buy a Bentley instead of funding your kids' college is criminal.
Right.
It's criminal.
Of course.
But that's the freedom.
And also, you know, you do those things because you feel fucking good.
And that fuels something else.
That inspires that, you know.
So it's like, if you want to fucking have a Bentley, you're not, you're not going backwards now, Tim.
No.
And that is an investment into your own self-belief and your own sort of way of doing things.
And I look at spending money as an investment.
I take stupid vacations.
You know, I try to have nice things, you know?
Right.
I just, I'm classless.
So when I say nice things, like I got an inflatable hot tub and I'm like, dude, I'm fucking killing it.
Right, right.
You know, I'm not, I'm not.
You have nice things people would get with Marlboro miles.
You know what I mean?
Like nice things that would come out of a cigarette catalog.
You get, you know, like a Marlborough leather jacket.
You'll get a tent, one of those red tents they used to have.
There's nothing wrong with it.
It's beautiful.
These are beautiful things.
Dude, I would look at the Marlborough Miles catalog in awe, being like, wow, dude.
Yeah.
All of these things you could get.
None of it matters.
The only thing that matters is friends and family.
Yeah.
Now, here's the difference, though.
It is a, it is, all of these things are inherently dumb.
Anything you buy is kind of stupid, but it makes you feel good.
And it's a nice thing.
And that's all it is, right?
I mean, they're not, they don't change your life, but they give you maybe a little bit of joy in a, you know, world where you need, every now and then you need a little joy.
I think you, and worthwhile investments are your home, your car.
Right.
You know, wherever you're spending a lot of time to yourself thinking, quote unquote, meditating.
We don't fucking meditate anymore.
But when you're driving, you can't really be texting.
I mean, I do.
Right.
You know, sure.
But when you, when you're driving, like you're alone with your thoughts.
You listen to music, but you started thinking through your life and all that shit.
And if you're in a fucking shitty car, you're going to just feel like shit, in my opinion.
Yes.
I think it's.
I've been in a shitty car.
I used to drive Oldsmobile 88, not even the year.
That's the type of car.
And it would literally like when I would press the brake too hard, the car would shut off.
Like I've been in Mitsubishi Galant.
I've been an old piece of shit.
I would just buy for years the cheapest car at the used car dealership.
Not like a used car dealership, like a certified pre-owned toilet.
Talk about like a guy who's a bad person.
And this Bentley is certified pre-owned.
Because it's certified pre-owned Bentley.
Good.
2018.
It's not brand new.
You don't have to tell people that.
Well, but here's the reality.
It's no different than the 2021 or 2022.
But people ask, my cunt friends.
Can you look up the differences between the 2022 and the 2018?
There's very few.
There's going to be a handful of them.
There's not that many.
What were you saying?
Bentley's not a high-tech car, meaning like it doesn't have like the runner lights.
Like when you get in at Bentley, it doesn't, you know, it's not like a new Beamer or a Mercedes river where they have the pink and purple runner.
It's designed by a Puerto Rican.
Yeah, it looks kind of ethnic.
It looks a little ethnic.
You know, the reality is this is more of an English gentleman's car.
It doesn't have a horn that goes beep and it is.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah, this isn't a, you know, so they have some new stuff.
My Audi, like literally half the technology is being able to change the lighting panels and everything.
Right.
That really is, dude.
That's all the technology went into.
I got a fucking white trim.
Some people like when they get in a car to for it to be lit up and to feel like a, you know, some type of carnival.
Yeah.
Because that's where they work or that's where their good family memories are going to a free car.
It's a simple way.
Yeah.
They're treating, they're treating people like morons.
They're going, you like flashing lights, don't you?
Yeah.
And we do.
Yeah.
I love it.
For sure.
I mean, there's nothing.
If I want to, if I was, I could match my lighting scheme to my outfits.
And that's because they sold it to me that way.
They looked at me when they, they're like, that this Puerto Rican guy is going to love this feature.
Right.
And they said they're like, you could match the lighting scheme every day to whatever outfit you're wearing.
And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Yeah.
I mean, it's like, that's such a.
So the new one is going to probably, I don't even know what these differences are.
I mean, they both have a V8 engine, right?
Yeah.
I have a sport package, which they don't even make anymore, which is faster.
Mine, my engines might be even better.
And this is the 2018 right here.
Four liter V8.
Same shit.
Yeah, same shit.
I mean, you know, and again, if you look, go to the interior of the 2022.
I mean, by the way, is this not a relatable segment?
This is like the least relatable of the 2018.
I mean, there are people, I have people watching this overdosing on heroin right now.
But if you look at it, look at it.
Same Shit Different Year00:12:18
Yeah, go to the next one, Ben.
Go to the right.
Can I tell you why it's relatable?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell me why.
Because they fucking, oh, they watched you, dude.
I remember, I remember Tim once a month would ask me for an advance on his $600 a month podcast payout.
I would.
And like the 27th would hit and he's like, dude, I need the money.
I need it in cash.
I know.
And you'd give it to me.
I would.
And then I would upload a photo an hour later at a steakhouse.
I fucking would.
$75 steak.
It's inspiring for people to watch you.
This is why people like you.
That is fucking relatable.
It's like you're not fucking gifted anything, dude.
You've been hustling and grinding for a long time.
Yeah, no, I've been, it's 12 years.
It's a long time.
It's a really long time.
And people see it like that.
The best years of my life are over and they were poor.
Like the vast majority of my life, I would have rather have this money at 21 because you have more energy.
It's more, it's cooler.
That's why the LA people, now, obviously I have more perspective now and blah, blah, blah.
But the LA life that these TikTokers live is what's supposed to happen.
You get famous at 18.
You're famous until you're 25 and then you die at 27 or 28.
And because it doesn't get better and you did it and you were famous at the best time to be famous, you didn't work for it.
You didn't know what it was.
You had no, now we have perspective.
It's, you know, but there's something nice about just getting a whole bunch of shit.
You don't even know why you have it.
Yeah.
And all of it's just fun.
I don't even understand how I got laid when I was in my 20s.
I was so poor and dirty.
My body was dirty.
What were you doing for one?
I was selling comedy club tickets.
Right.
When I first started in comedy, I was selling comedy club tickets.
And then, I mean, I would just fucking be out there.
Like, I was a street kid, dude.
I was like, just a fucking, like, we'd smoke blunts and stairwells and drink 40s on stoops.
Yeah.
And there'd be like women that I'd hook up.
And like, I think back now, I'm like, how would any woman ever?
Like, I'm like a shitty comedian.
Right.
Just not like, like, how do you, like, how do you, how does a woman spread her legs for an unfunny comedian?
That's a crazy thing.
He's trying to be funny.
Many of them do.
It's a crazy.
By the way, many of them have big houses with unfunny Canadians and live very well.
Oh, I'm very sure.
They do very well.
We were talking about people that don't have money that want to go on vacation.
And we wanted to give a kind of a guide to people that don't have a lot that need to take their kids somewhere.
Because it's my belief that you got to go on a summer vacation.
Even if you don't leave your town.
Like some people want to stay kicked.
That's terrible.
It's sad.
That's garbage.
It's very hard.
You shouldn't do that.
Have you, but you, you've even seen that.
I was, yeah, I see that all the time.
But I was in, we go on the road a lot.
So we're in hotels and you'll just see, this happened last weekend in Providence.
There's a family in the pool.
And I'm like, in my mind, I'm going like, why would anybody visit Providence?
Right.
And then they were like, oh, we're from Newport.
We're like 40 minutes away from here.
We just like did a staycation.
And I look at this poor little three-year-old and I wanted to kidnap him and just release him into the parking lot.
That would be a better way.
It's a nicer area.
So it's weird that they went to Providence.
So what's going on is like the dad's into something weird or the mom is.
There's no reason you go from Newport to Providence for a staycation.
Something's going on.
They wanted the pool.
That was it.
There's pools in Newport.
I don't know.
Something's up.
They wanted to get out of town.
I don't know, but I felt so bad.
I think about that all the time.
I'll be at like a gig in Atlantic City.
And you'll see a family.
It's tough.
It's fucking brutal, dude.
And you see a family just at a shitty hotel.
And it's usually like an indoor pool.
Terrible.
Smells bad.
I might do that with my family as like a joke.
Like I might bring my whole family to Atlantic City to be funny.
As a bit.
As like a bit.
Yeah.
Like we're all in on and we're going to like, you know.
Yeah.
And then just bring them and go, here's welcome to the, I mean, I did that when I was a kid.
So my friend Rocky, who ended up being gay, he tried to suck my dick when we were like in the sixth grade.
So I always knew he was playing with Barbies when he was a kid.
Yeah.
Real, you know, real Tim Dylan.
Yeah.
What's he up to now?
He sells real estate.
Does he do well?
I don't know.
I stay in touch here and there, you know, but he fucking now he's like very, very out.
But his family, we were so poor.
Right.
I thought his family was rich.
Right.
His family lived in like a nice trailer.
A nice, a particularly nice trailer.
That's how rough it was.
Yeah, it was, I shit you not, dude.
And they would take me on their family vacations.
And I'm like, wow, dude, we go to Bally's in Atlantic City.
His dad's just throwing bones at Bally's.
You're like, it's your fresh prince in Bel Air.
And the guy, you're driving in a trailer to Bally's.
This was, I mean, yeah, dude.
I think back, it's so funny how poor this family was.
Yeah.
And how I, and they look down their nose at me.
Like, I remember feeling like, oh, I was like, oh, this is a good thing.
I grew up.
We didn't have a ton of money.
Like, I had an in, I had a backyard pool.
It was an in-ground pool, but it was six feet.
So when you dove into it, you had to dive out.
Like you couldn't dive down.
Yeah, of course.
And a lot of my friends had the eight foot, 10-foot pool, 12-foot pool.
It was much larger when you, when you were to jump in, you could dive straight down.
So when you, but when you, when you're up in the air and you realize I can't dive straight down, I have to dive out.
To me, that's what poverty is.
The thought of how deep is the pool is poverty to me, because a big pool where you don't even worry about how deep it is because it just is deep.
That to me is.
So our landlord, when we were kids, Mary Leone, she was this fucking old white lady.
She's still around?
No.
She's very dead, but her long dead.
But her, her niece and I guess her grandkids, right?
They were like these kids.
They were like.
You know, they just had like the fun toys.
But once again, these people were all trash.
None of these people were rich, like no, none of them but they had like a, an in-ground pool but there was like algae in it.
It just wasn't.
Yeah, it was a fucking garbage ass family.
And uh, I remember they would just like be in the pool.
They would invite us in sometimes, but literally one of the biggest, like cringy things in my life I think back is just one time.
I was like standing in the pool wanting them to invite me in, right and like just staring and I think I was like I want to go back in time and just tell yourself, don't do that.
What are you doing, dude?
Have some pride.
The is wrong with you.
Their pool, go get your own pool right.
Yeah yeah, where.
Where would you and your family go on a trip?
Did you ever take a vacation?
My mom would take us.
That now I I remember and this was.
She was a little, she did drugs.
My mom was a heroin addict, prostitute and a prostitute and I knew this.
I knew my mom was a prostitute for as long as I can remember because I remember my.
There was like this old guy who was my sister's godfather actually, and I caught them like naked in bed together and I remember, even at like three or four years old, just thinking I was like well, she's not him for pleasure.
I was like she's being paid for this and I just sort of connected the dots.
Even as a young child, young child, I just I just knew and I sort of it was you know, I just knew that's what it was.
Yeah, were you proud a little bit?
Yeah, I was.
I was collecting, I was collecting a commission on it.
No, it's to me, I got her the gig, dude to me.
There's something about that.
That is a little bit.
You go hey, mom is really working, mommy's working.
No no, I didn't really.
I think I sort of blocked it from my memory for a while.
Yeah like, I didn't like.
But I think back now I just remember having the thought that this is for money.
Um so yeah, my mom was trash, so we were just really really poor.
You know, she wasn't even she wasn't a high-end prostitute either.
Like right honestly, if you're a hook, by the way, you don't need to say that.
Well, that's crazy, though I appreciate that you.
You don't need to say, I love that.
You have to.
You go.
Just in case anyone out there was wondering, um, my mother?
She was not high, she was an attractive woman.
In fact, if you go my, you know high-end prostitute is not only attractive, it's like it's a whole thing.
No, they got to be kind of.
They're hot.
Well, they got to be hot.
First and foremost.
They got to be hot.
All right, go to my instagram.
They got to have the money to travel grandmother's day.
Okay, go down right to the right.
That's my mom with the red hair.
Okay, right here.
Okay, right here.
My mom cleaned up.
No, she's pretty, she's a pretty woman.
She cleaned up.
Yeah okay, that's my sister right there now.
She would not be.
Look at you and your sister.
This is what I think and I say to myself, god bless this woman, because I would have abandoned you kids instead, Instead of fucking to feed you two, which by the way, you're clearly fed, I would have abandoned you to immediately, like at a truck stop in New Jersey.
No, but good for her.
I mean, I respect one of my sad family photos.
Growing up, one of my women that I looked up to was a prostitute, my friend's mother.
And she would explain to us how she was always a prostitute.
She was still kind of a prostitute.
And she took all that money and invested it in stocks and knew all about the market.
And she was very interested.
Oh, yeah.
That's crazy.
My mom didn't do any of that.
My mom bought heroin with it.
Yeah.
And I think when she was hard up for heroin, I think her prices would drop dramatically.
Right.
Yeah.
Then it was just kind of a.
But she would be a $300 an hour hooker.
Right.
Did you miss?
Did she ever admit it to you?
No, we never got there.
You never broached it either.
Never got there.
Were there men coming and going?
Well, that's what this was paying her for.
Right.
But would you notice like different guys around?
No.
So this is when this is when I was really young.
I don't think she was hooking when I was like at an age where I really had memories of it.
Gotcha.
So I was like three or four.
Well, that was nice of her.
Yeah.
You know, she ended up, you know, becoming a hairdresser, which is actually.
But here's what's nice about her.
She didn't sell you or your sister.
Some prostitutes, like, you know, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, in fairness to her, it was a hard sell.
That would have been a tough sell.
You and your sister.
I mean, that would have been a very rough, like you got to be into both.
If you're into both of us, that's a lot.
Well, you got to be a pedophile and kind of blind.
Be into fat cholos.
Yeah, you got to be into a fat cholo fetish as a pedophile.
Like, imagine, are there those pedophiles that go to Epstein's Island and they're like, yeah, I know you got all these thin, you know, white kids, but like, I want fat cholos.
Fat Mexican kids, not hot Eastern Europe kids.
I want gathering of the juggalos cholos.
Like, yeah.
So we, our vacations that I remember, we would go to Seaside Heights, New Jersey.
And I just, right, I remember.
Because it's nice because it's the beach and she could score.
She could probably be honest, you could probably just find heroin on the beach.
Right.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
And what would that entail, Seaside Heights?
Would you get a room somewhere?
I think we would get, she called it a cabin, but I, okay.
What I remember it as was like a shed.
And there was like one building that's almost like a shed with a couple beds.
Yeah.
You could enter in on either side.
Right.
Very, very vague memories of these Seaside Heights camps.
Okay.
Probably like 15 bucks a night, something like that, right?
Somewhere really, really fucking cheap.
When you say enter on either side, I'm thinking like public restroom.
Kind of, yeah.
Like that.
I feel like you're like, my memories were like, there was like three bathrooms.
There were no beds and you could enter on either side.
And there were hand dryers on each side of the wall to dry your hands.
And she would set up a bag, sleeping bags for me and my sister on the floor of this.
So you would stay for two nights a night?
Probably something like that.
Two nights.
I don't even remember.
The best vacation my mom ever took us on.
Yeah.
God, this is going to be rough.
It's going to be so sad because you've...
Here's why it's going to be so sad.
The Best Vacation Ever00:09:01
You've specified that this is the best.
This is the top of the line.
Top of the line vacation my mother ever took us on Hartford, Connecticut.
Oh my God.
To see WrestleMania 11.
Now it was cool.
That's kind of cool.
That's not bad.
That's actually not bad.
We were massive pro wrestling fans.
Give it up for the hey.
Give it up for this whore.
She did.
She did.
Was the one fucking thing she really.
She spent the money, like you know, I think at the time the tickets were probably 75 bucks a pop, which is a lot of money for her.
Yeah, a lot of money.
No, that's cool as, like you know, 20 rows back maybe you saw us on camera we were like along the gate, you know, you and your sister, me and my sister, and it was the best time ever they did.
They do a fan festival, wrestlers.
Now I feel bad.
No, don't feel bad, but very influential.
If you look at the fan, the Wrestlemania fan festival, if you what we do with Skank Fest, like that was like one of the best memories.
The Wrestlemania fans festival.
You show up And it's not just fucking like autographs.
They have a lot of interactive shit.
You know what I'm saying?
You're like, you know, you're meeting the wrestlers.
You do meet and greets and shit, but they're like doing fucking other things.
It's like shows have.
You know, it's hilarious.
Stan Hope goes on Rogan and brings up how cool Skank Fest is.
This is ridiculous.
And then Rogan just shuts it down immediately and goes, you should do your own fest.
Tan Holmes like Tan Holmes.
And he's trying to like have a nice pitch.
It's a nice pitch.
He's like, I did this festival.
It's just the greatest thing ever.
And Rogan's like, he was like, he was like, oh, yeah.
He's like, that's really probably because the comedy scene down in Houston is great.
It's like, there's nothing to do with the comedy scene.
It's not fucking Houston.
We booked three comics from Houston.
We brought the fucking greatest comics from the world, mostly from New York City, to Houston.
We fucking did the most unique, fun, interactive, craziest comedy festival ever.
But Doug Sanhope should just steal the idea.
He should just take it.
Joe's like, you should do your own.
The same guy who assaulted Carlos Mancia for stealing a shitty Ari Shafir joke.
The shittiest Ari Shafir joke that's ever been fucking written.
Well, he stole more than that.
I know.
He stole a lot.
He stole a lot.
But, you know.
That was a straw that was.
No, but I'm kidding.
You know, Rogan's great.
No, We love him.
But, I mean, it is funny that he was just like.
Steal it.
Do your own.
Well, it's not steal it.
He just said do your own fest.
I think, no, I think he's a little disconnected from what Skank Fest is.
I think he thinks like that's what Bert's.
I hope, by the way, I hope he's just, he's got, he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
I hope he's disconnected from it.
Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, Bert's doing his own festival.
It's not the same thing, though.
Right.
It's not, there's, there's nothing like Skank Fest.
You got to go and see it and know what it is in order to fucking.
And then what is, what would you say the difference with Skank Fest is?
Is that people get raised?
It's a party.
It's a party.
Well, yeah.
Well, they don't tell.
Yeah.
It's a party.
Here's the thing with Skank Fest.
The fucking, whatever they call it.
Here's what I say.
It's the joke festival.
Here's what I will say about Skank Fest.
It is an immersive experience.
Meaning that it is three days.
It involves not only going to see stand-up, but you have like other events that comedians go to and will be at and you can like mix with.
Live podcasts, there's fighting, pro wrestling.
There's fucking just, there's mechanical bulls and fucking games and beer pong tournaments.
And it's stupid.
It's a fun thing.
It's a fun thing.
It's a Woodstock for people that like podcasts.
And it's the best podcast fans in the world, best comedy fans of the world.
They love comedy.
They love fun.
Every time I've done a show at SkangFest, it's always been great.
And every time we've done a live podcast, it's GangFest.
It's always been great.
It's going to be stupid.
We're going to do Bastard Radio.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
I'm forcing you.
It'll be fun.
No, I'm doing it.
I told you I would do it.
I know.
Absolutely.
We'll do it.
Me and the great Nick Mullen.
I think we're going to do a state of the industry address as Bastard Radio.
So the biggest topics from the year, we're going to break down.
I just want to cover, please.
If we do a state of the industry address, we've got to carve out.
Gringo Poppy.
Who does what?
I want to do LA.
I want to do the L.
No, no, no.
I want to do the State of the LA podcast scene.
As part of the state of the industry addresses GangFest.
You and Nick do everything else.
Everything else.
That's yours.
You cover it.
You guys cover all of New York, television and film, every podcast in the world other than...
And you could also comment on the state of the LA podcast scene, of course.
Of course.
But I would like to.
You need to lead it.
My expertise, I just want to do the state of the LA podcast scene, the great enduring scene that will never die.
And it'll be called the LA podcast scene, the scene that will never die, and it will have the photos of the people who are currently in prison.
Tim, can we play Word Association LA comic scene?
Sure.
All right, ready?
You got to just fire it off.
Don't be a pussy.
Whitney Cummings.
Drugs.
Bobby Lee.
Korean.
I mean, it's the first thing that comes to mind.
Brian Callen.
Rough year.
Gringo Poppy.
Kind of brilliant.
Kind of brilliantly funny in a way that no comedy special has ever been.
Because it's mysterious in a way.
Because you're looking at it and you're going like, there's a lot of choices made and you don't know why those choices were made.
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah.
The comedy store.
Fine.
That's it.
I can't name another word.
I mean, that's, you know.
Yeah.
Well, here's what's amazing about the Gringo Poppy.
This is what's truly amazing about it.
Okay.
You're watching it and you're in kind of, it's, it's, you're in a little bit of disbelief.
Yeah.
Because it is.
I wonder, and I know he's trying to get good at stand up and I respect the hell out of that.
The question is, did it have to be a special?
No.
That's the real question.
No.
No, it didn't.
And I'm not one of these guys who like, I'm not sure.
That's not shit.
He's a nice guy.
And I know he's trying to be, you know, like, the question is with that particular thing, you go, did that have to be.
I said this on Real Last Podcast.
He should have friends going, because here's the thing.
He is a charming dude, right?
Yes.
And I think, I don't know at all, you know, but I think there's probably something.
He's probably funny.
He probably makes his friends laugh, right?
Yeah, I think that he's really great at podcasting on that specific show for that audience.
Yeah.
Which they want MMA.
There's an audience of people in America that want what he does and he does it for them.
I am not that audience.
Of course.
But that's fair.
But that's fair.
And here's the thing.
We all go out.
Because I don't care about everyone stinks at comedy for the first five, 10 years.
20, 30 years.
There's a fucking minimum of five.
If you get good and start getting shit under five, that's like fast.
That's rare.
That's fast.
One of the things.
Michael J, who's my best friend.
And he's one of the people.
We're talking about guys that they got like.
It's rare.
Very rare.
Yeah.
Very rare.
And you see it and you're like, God damn, those guys got good and they got good fast and they started getting things.
I was pretty rare.
I got pretty good pretty quickly.
But again, I didn't really pop until I started doing this.
Yeah.
Of course.
That was what I needed to do.
So, but that's the thing.
Stand-up is kind of gay and dumb.
Stand-up when we came up.
Stand-up's kind of gay and dumb.
Let's be honest.
When I watch Brendan do that, it's like I go, here's a big, tough guy who I should just see in a Ferrari, and he should be able to rip people's faces off with his catcher mid hands.
And I see him running around the stage going, oh, I go, you're gay now.
You've become gay.
You were.
Why are you gay?
He was a fucking knight.
He was a knight.
He was a knight.
And now he's a jester.
Now he's gay.
He's a gay jester.
He's a gay man.
He's a fully gay man.
When you watch a special, he's like, woo!
And you go, what?
Why?
What is this disease?
Maybe they should come out next week.
What is this?
You're six foot six.
You're at Adonis.
You could beat up 99% of the people.
You can kill men and fuck women.
And you don't have to fuck these skanks at the comedy store.
Fuck hot women.
Andy Letterman.
Fuck hot women.
What's wrong with you?
And instead, he's fully gay on stage in Dallas in front of 45 people being like, the liar.
Is that my dude?
It's just, it's puzzling.
It's, yeah, you don't need it when you don't need it.
But that's the thing.
Like, you know, I don't know.
Well, I feel bad shitting on his comedy because I don't shit on people's comedy.
No, Me saying you shouldn't be a comedian is the highest respect I can pay you.
If I look at you and go, you shouldn't really do comedy.
It's me going, you are better than this.
I truly believe he's like better than this.
Until you start to do this.
This was nobody's A plan.
Nobody.
No, I wasn't a little kid being like, dude, I want to fucking dance like a monkey for strangers.
Right.
And pray to God that they like me and that they react to my words in a club or I won't feel anything.
That's right.
That's crazy.
That's a fucking, that's pathetic.
Really, honestly, if aliens came down and watched us doing comedy, it's gay.
Nobody's A Plan00:06:11
Making me sad.
And I don't even mean gay, like having sex with men.
I mean, like, it's just cringe a little.
Yeah.
It's a little pathetic.
I feel embarrassed that I need the validation of strangers and others should too.
And even though we make people happy, it comes from the need.
And I just feel like knowing that.
I would give up your happiness for my happiness.
Just so everyone knows their happiness is inconsequential.
It just means nothing to any.
Like when people say to me, they're like, your podcast got me through the quarantine.
I'm like, you have no idea what it's done for me.
I'm like, I'm glad it's helped you.
And it makes me feel good that it's helped them.
But I'm helping your co-plants.
To be honest.
Your mom dying.
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm glad it helped you, but it really helped me.
You know?
Oh, dude, I'm fucking having a weird fucking muscle spasm in my stomach.
Why?
Because I did sit up for the first time ever.
Oh.
Not ever.
Like yesterday.
But my point is that when I tell somebody, hey, Stan, it may not be for you.
It's not, it doesn't, it's not an egg.
No, it's not.
And yeah, whatever.
You just don't need to put out specials.
David Tell puts out a special every eight years.
And he's one of the greatest of all time.
Why is Brendan Shaw putting out two specials?
I don't even love the special that I just shot.
And it's coming out because here's the deal.
It's like, I wrote the material two years ago.
You saw the jokes two years ago at Vinnie Brand's Stress Factory.
But my whole thing is I want to do it live as much as I can.
So by the time the special comes out, a lot of it's topical.
It's relevant.
I don't love it.
I didn't love the audience.
It is what it is.
But, you know, whatever people want to do with their lives, they can do.
Yeah.
That's because we live in America.
More power to him.
Yeah, we live in America.
More power to him.
Yeah, for sure.
Where do you think Brendan Shaw went on vacation?
Somewhere nice.
Probably somewhere nice.
Probably somewhere nice.
Where'd you go on vacation as a kid?
The Enchanted Forest.
Look this up.
This is a place called the Enchanted Forest.
My parents took me there.
I'm almost positive they were trying to sell me to human traffickers.
Yeah, I think it's a renaissance type fair.
It's, where is it, Ben?
Yeah, this says it's in Oregon, but are you talking about Germany?
No, it's like in like, fuck, it's in like upstate New York.
And it was by Canada, maybe.
It's in upstate New York.
And it was like this weird place that they, I'm pretty sure they were trying to sell me.
Enchanted Forest Water Screw?
Yeah, it's yeah.
Old Forge.
Yeah, yeah, Old Forge, this place.
Okay.
The Enchanted Far.
It's like a water park.
That's probably pretty cool, though.
It's whatever.
It's fine.
Yeah, they got this guy.
That's Paul Bonnie.
It was like one of those things where I think they thought it was going to be good.
Like, that's the other thing.
You know, it sucks when like the coolest characters they have are like old.
Yeah, it's like Humpty Dumpty.
Like they couldn't afford.
They couldn't get anybody better.
Like Sesame Place.
Yeah, no.
And we do that.
We went to Hershey Park.
We went to Sesame Place.
We went to my dad, when they got divorced, my dad took me to cool places because I want, like, because then it was like, okay, I don't have to deal with your mother.
Yeah.
Well, that's what's going on now.
And then it's also, you know, here's what happens when you're a divorced dad.
Because I'm like, you know, me and my son's mother, we co-parent.
And I do a Father's Day trip with him every year.
Yeah.
And I just let him spin the globe.
That's right.
Wherever he wants to go, wherever he wants to go.
Whoa.
Look, he's stupid.
He's nine.
He's a child.
Right.
And he can't spend that much.
I can fucking sort of goad him into.
What if he spins a globe and he's like, I want to go to Sierra Leone?
I want to go to the diamond mine.
But my dad would take me to nice places because my mother wasn't involved.
Well, he wants to say he wants it.
It's a fuck you to the mom.
Oh, I want my son when he grows up to be able to tell his mother, like, I went to all these places without you.
I went to fucking Rome this summer because my dad was a little bit more.
I was telling you a great kid's trip.
And I told Lewis is Australia because it's just too far, but it's a great kid's trip because the animals, all that stuff, the zoos.
It's a very cool trip.
You know, it's very cool.
It's just a lot, dude.
20 hours on a flight with a kid.
It's too much.
But he's a little bit older.
I'll do it with him for sure.
He's a mature kid, too.
But yeah, we're going to Rome this summer.
That's amazing.
My parents never took me.
I mean, we took one trip to Europe when I was five that my grandfather paid for, and the whole family went.
And I was so sick, the doctor goes, don't put him on a plane.
And my mother and father went, well, we're going to Europe.
So he's going to be going to Europe.
So there's literally a photo of me on Instagram a long time ago where I'm literally like a sick four-year-old on a cross, you know, going overseas to Europe.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah.
I didn't fly until I was 19.
Yeah.
19 was the first time I was on a flight.
I went to Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Yeah.
With my girlfriend.
It was her graduation trip.
I graduated the year before.
Right.
It was my girl.
And then the lead singer of Coheed in Cambria was dating my girlfriend's best friend.
So he was on this trip as well.
Oh, interesting.
She has no Coheed in Cambria.
I've heard of them.
It's like a gay emo-ee type.
They do okay, right?
They're great.
They're really talented.
They're like very progressive, almost like a new age rush.
Okay.
They're fucking, yeah.
But I don't care.
Yeah, they were cool.
But well, good.
Yeah.
That was my first time on a flight.
It's difficult right now with the, you know, a lot of families are having a tough time taking their kids, you know, places.
Yeah.
And that I think can be alleviated a little bit by trying to figure out, like, where did, let's look up where you went.
You went to a place.
Okay, so people confuse Puerto Ranzas and South Padre Island.
South Padre is actually nice.
And people give me a lot of shit for saying South Padre.
No, it's not.
First of all, it's not nice.
I don't think people shit or animals.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, because this is South Padre.
There's nine nice places in the country.
The Hamptons, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Palm Beach, Jackson Hole, Aspen.
There's like 10 places that are fucking nice.
And Florida.
Parts of it.
So the place I went actually.
Yeah, this shit's all everything you guys are naming me is fancy as fuck to me.
That's like, you know, we seem to go on vacations.
We didn't even go to Sean.
By the way, they're making this look better in the things.
Funny People Get Bored00:15:16
They do this all the time.
They lighten the water.
They make it look a certain type of blue.
And then you get there and it's not that.
But that's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
And then Ben would go there with his family.
They stay in like a motel and they'd eat like, what would you eat?
Like imitation crab.
Yeah, they would eat like fake crab.
And that's rough.
I never had it that bad.
Like other than my mother was a schizophrenic.
And I had a very loveless family of people who hated each other.
And I had the gay thing where you had to stay a keep who you are secretive.
And I was a drug addict, but we never were there.
Was there anybody who found out you were gay before you came out?
And you were like, dude, you got to fucking keep this under arrest.
A few people I sucked off had suspicions.
They were suspicious, but they didn't, they didn't go.
No.
Yeah.
I mean, there are people that thought so, but nobody like found out.
Like to find out, you'd have to have like proof.
Yeah.
I didn't believe you were gay for like a year.
Yeah.
He's like, no, I mean, it's still very much people don't believe it, but it's only because they don't know people.
Like, if you meet people, you meet gay people that are not like what you see on TV.
Well, I think that's an act very often.
It's performative.
Very often.
Some of it is, but some guys are just very feminine, but then some guys take it to the next level.
Well, they lean into it.
There's a choice at one point.
All black, like gangsters, if you're really black, you're leaning into it.
Yeah.
Like if you're really, you know what I mean?
I watch, well, I watch people.
I watch like you know, people that lean in.
Dude, I watch some of my black friends and they I watch them write like an Ebonics on like social media.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I know you have autocraced.
You have to go through so much trouble to write that way.
Yeah.
Why would you spend the time?
It's so much more effort to fucking write.
Write that identity.
Yeah.
It's an identity and you lean into that.
But you, what's interesting about you is you're a Puerto Rican white supremacist.
You know, as it's in the press.
I'm a truth teller.
But what's interesting about you is you and me bond in this way.
That stuff's gross to us when the identity politics gets like we're not ashamed of who we are.
We don't, we don't hide any of it.
Yes, I pretend to have a wife.
And yes, you tell people you're Italian.
But no, but we don't, there's something about us.
We just, we're not into the group thing.
No, we're not into the group.
It doesn't social media is training people to put themselves out there in a certain way.
Right.
And you and I both, right?
I think we recognize, number one, what's funnier, but what's better, what's more relatable to sort of like really be much more real versions of ourselves.
You get a very real version of me and a very real version of you on these shows, right?
I think, you know, a lot of other people, they're very protected in what they do and how they present themselves.
And in comedy, it's less so.
I think comedy and podcasting, much less so.
And I think you and I, much less so than a lot of our peers.
Yeah, our peers that do it as well.
So, you know, that's, you know, that's, you know, it's just phoniness.
You know, you sort of see, I tweeted this.
And Mark Norman is a black woman.
It's like, never know.
Mark Norman's a list of people.
You have no idea who he is.
Oh, I don't know.
But I tweeted this the other day.
You see people who on Instagram will respond to every comment, right?
So some people write a comment and then they write heart face emoji, whatever.
Thank you, love you.
And what those people are doing is they're manipulating the algorithm.
Like Instagram will move your content further up and show it to more people if you're engaging with everybody, right?
So it's just, it's, and it's a sociopathic thing and it's usually like hot chicks, but they respond to everything and they're like, heart, love you, thank you.
And you're like, dude, you're just like blind, you know, like blindly just going and saying that to everybody to, and pretending to like these people and pretending to have a real relationship with them just to manipulate an algorithm.
It's sick.
It's sickening.
It's really sick.
It's fucking psychotic.
It's crazy.
But we see people do very well like that.
No, no, no.
Anybody who's famous on Instagram, any Instagram model, any TikToker, they all do that.
That's all they do.
That's all they do.
It's a part of their job.
The same way you have to fucking, you're in your job, you answer emails in the morning.
It's their job to go in.
Very often they have social media managers that are doing it and they respond to every single thing.
You'll see it.
Yeah.
Any influencer, they respond to every single thing.
And what, and it just, again, I guess it just bolsters this idea that you're, this is this community you're part of.
You're an active member of it.
Well, I think most people go, oh, they responded.
This is great.
And they feel that thing and that's why they're there almost.
And then it's reciprocal.
Yeah.
And then they respond to, yeah.
But I don't know, dude.
I just, I respond to a lot of people on social media, but not everybody.
Right.
It's just not a fucking, you know, like if somebody sends me a DM, if I'm in, if I'm traveling, you might get a response.
Very often you're not.
I'll respond occasionally.
Yeah, dude.
Just to some random fucking person and be like, oh, thanks, dude.
Appreciate it.
Yeah.
But then, you know, it bites you in the ass.
I have a guy right now.
I wish you, dude, I guess he DM me a while ago and I responded.
Then he DM me again.
I was like driving or something.
I just saw it and I didn't say anything.
It's fine.
Whatever.
And then he fucking DMs me again because I saw that with like middle fingers.
Like, oh, dude, I guess you're too cool for me now.
Like, dude, we're not friends.
Like, I just, I responded to you once.
So whatever, dude.
You're damned if you do damned if you don't, you know?
But I don't fucking play those games where you're trying to just manipulate an algorithm.
You're trying to, you know, trying to game the system.
Instead of just being good, instead of being funny or being interesting, it's a lot of gaming the system.
And that's what LA is a lot of, right?
For sure.
There's a lot of people that they didn't come up and they didn't go through those months where they were fucking, they didn't know where they were going to eat.
They didn't know how they were going to fucking pay their rent.
They didn't even, they just, you know, it worked out very quickly for a lot of these people, you know, and it was a lot less of a struggle out here, it seems.
Yeah.
A lot of people out here, but the, the, the flip side of that, and or maybe the, uh, the, uh, the full picture of that is that a lot of those people are dead inside in ways you can't even imagine.
Yeah.
Like their, their material successes do not even, they don't belie like the idea, these people are husks, cold husks of human beings that don't, like the success doesn't even matter anymore because they, they have forgotten everything that is organically about who they are and everything.
And it's interesting.
And they're just kind of, they're all on like some like low dose of some type of drug.
You made an interesting point before when we were driving, just talking about how you got to pay for, you got to owe debts.
We owe debts.
Can you get me a lighter, please?
Why aren't there lighters in the studio?
Wow.
I mean, you know what it is?
You know what it is?
It's, it's, it's a, you want to talk about ungrateful and like absurd.
Yeah.
And oh, maybe it's in my car.
Maybe, maybe it's in my car.
I mean, there should be lighters in this.
But again, it's like, it's, it's, it's, I mean, this guy.
You want to talk about someone who's went on a nice ride.
Yeah.
I mean, you know.
I mean, he.
Anybody could do this, Ben.
Just so you know?
Yeah.
Let's just say all podcast producers, anyone can do your job.
And we love you.
Very few people.
Yeah.
Very few people.
Very few people can do my job.
Yeah.
Anyone can do the podcast producer job, but they don't think it's self-taught.
At this point, the technology is not, it's intuitive.
They think it's their show.
No, they, all of these people, from Jamie Vernon on down, they think it's their show.
You know what it is, dude?
They have to feel that way in order to be good at their job.
I remember when I was...
He's great at his job.
But anybody could do it.
Well, who would else be great at his job is an app?
Anybody.
A laugh app where I would say something funny.
I'd press it.
Do that.
They would do this when I worked at Equinox.
My last day job ever was working at Equinox selling gym memberships.
Yeah.
And every department, they would give you like a brave heart speech, right?
They'd be like, oh, the fucking, you know, the front desk.
You guys are the heartbeat of this club.
You're the first people that they see.
Without you guys, this club doesn't exist.
Same exact fucking speech to the salespeople.
Same speech to the group fitness people.
Same speech to the maintenance people.
Without the maintenance people.
Yeah, without the maintenance people.
Equinox.
Can you imagine that?
You're the beating heart of Equinox.
The maintenance people.
They did.
And you'd see these old Mexican ladies, they'd fucking chastise.
We are the first line of defense.
You're the Marines of the toilet.
Yeah.
And they would feel, but everyone would have this sense of pride.
And together they all came and they create a fucking great business, a really legitimately great business.
So you have to make, he's a front desk.
Ben is a front desk girl at Equinox.
That's right.
That's what he is.
He's a hot piece of ass at Equinox.
He's cute, but he's the fucking first person they see.
And he should feel, he should feel important.
Because it's not a bad job to be the best.
They can hire another hot girl.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you're here.
You know what, Jessica?
You're here.
And you know what it is?
They could hire some other big-titted bitch.
And Ben does a lot more.
He edits.
He did things like that.
But the front desk at Equinox does a lot more too.
Yeah, dude.
That's not just checking people in, dude.
They have to, I believe they have to.
They know the whole gym.
They know the property well.
They use the word the property.
They have to learn.
They'll be like, I know the property.
I know the gym.
Like, they, yeah, they learn.
They're the liaison between new members and the salespeople.
Right.
Come on.
No.
Yeah.
They're important.
It's an important job.
Jamie Vernon, like, we were talking once, and I wanted to, and Jamie Vernon's like, you know, our show and our show.
And I go, you say our show.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
That's what happened to Redband.
That's why he's on the fucking Outskis.
Right.
He got too cocky.
That's why Jamie needs to not go down the Redband path.
He's going to be producing fucking well.
Joe what I mean?
I don't want to, I don't want to even get into these statistics because they're troubling.
But it just came out that Joe is now getting 500 listeners an episode.
It's over.
These are, this is the statistics.
This isn't me.
Yeah.
These are statistics.
I won't even do the show anymore.
He calls me all the time.
Lewis will not do it.
No, he calls me all the time.
Like, no, Joe, beat it.
I wrote who this new phone.
How do we get you in touch with him?
Because he's not responding to you.
He will not respond to me.
Can you call him right now and ask him why on speaker?
Okay.
You really, no, you're not going to.
He really will.
Hello.
Hi.
Who's this?
Who is it?
Yeah, no.
Who is it?
I think we can.
Is this Lewis?
How about this?
Remember how he was going to sneak Anthony Cumio back into Sirius XM?
I didn't.
I don't.
So when Anthony got fired from Sirius XM, he went on Jim and Sam, and he was going to sneak Anthony back in, like with him.
Oh, the whole fucking thing.
Why don't we sneak me in?
Next time he does one of those fun comic hang podcasts with Ari and Normand.
Kim got so much fat under a coach.
What's up, man?
That would be a little.
Well, you should move to Austin.
Yeah, that's it.
Then he can't avoid me.
If you move to no, I mean, if you, by the way, it would be hilarious if you moved to Austin and he still would not even acknowledge you.
No.
And every Instagram post was like, you just like, just bought a house in Austin.
He's like, you know who should buy a house?
Doug Stanhope.
Stanhope should buy a house in Austin now.
Yeah, you literally get a job doing maintenance on his building.
You're literally pushing a broom in the building.
He won't look at me.
No, he won't even look at you in the face.
He has two Navy SEALs stand between him and you at all times.
What about what do you think?
What's going to happen now?
I feel like what is because this whole LA podcast scene does seem a little bit dead.
It's gay.
They're all gay.
They're all gay.
You know, I'm not even, and I won't even name specific names, but the whole drama that's going on in the LA podcast scene, it's one of the gayest things I've ever seen.
This is like high school level drama where they're like calling each other and they're talking shit and they're threatening each other.
And it's like, guys.
In New York, the drama is you can't afford your rent.
Yeah.
So it's actually real drama.
Like the New York podcast scene is somebody being like, I am homeless.
It's a weird thing.
Yeah.
It's a weird thing how everyone or in New York.
This is people in mansions talking shit about each other.
In New York, the drama is like, my parents just kicked me off my family plan and I'm 38.
I'm 38 and I don't have a phone.
My roommate moved out and I was not able to secure another roommate for that room this month.
I'm actually going to kill myself.
New York drama is like people hang themselves.
People try to kill themselves.
Yeah.
My bed is covered in rat feces.
I just, you know what it is?
That's the thing about New York, dude.
You go to like, people have money too.
Like Big Jay's got money.
Big Jay's money.
He's got talent.
He's got a nice apartment.
Big Jay is one of the funniest people on New York.
New York's nothing's nice.
You're like, everything's expensive.
You're like, it's this sucks.
It's dirty.
There's garbage everywhere in front of your building.
Money in New York, you have to have like $100 million.
It's fucking wild.
It's crazy.
It's a wild thing.
You go down to Tribeca, one of the most expensive neighborhoods in New York.
Yeah.
Everything looks like shit, dude.
It looks like a heroin deck everywhere.
It's like, this is like one of the most expensive buildings.
You're like, what the fuck is going on?
It's tiny.
Yeah, it's true.
It's wild.
Well, it's just a different life.
It's a different life.
And it makes you funnier.
It does.
But the funniest people in the world come from LA.
Yeah.
The funniest people in the world are good-looking surfers and people that are mixed martial artists.
That's where funny comes.
Funny comes from hot people.
LA just needs to struggle.
Funny comes from when hot people get bored.
If we know one thing about comedy, it's when a hot person is bored.
That's when the genius comes.
It's true.
When a hot person has nothing to do that day, they open their mouth and the genius comes out.
The biggest struggle for like LA comedians, this is the one you hear.
It's like, it's like, dude, I struggled, dude.
I was a doorman at the comedy store.
The biggest struggle is when they actually have to do comedy.
Yeah.
Like the biggest struggle is when they actually have to do it.
It's like the vast majority of it is like, here's a photo of me kind of doing it.
And then when they actually, when people actually like go, like do something.
That's why a lot of the funny people out here, whether it's me, Annie, Bill Burr, and I'm not saying I'm any in any of the categories of these.
I'm not putting us in any category.
But like Sebastian, those are East Coast guys.
Yeah.
Those are East Coast people.
Yeah.
They're all the funny ones are East Coast guys.
Right?
That are transplants.
Yeah.
I think, I mean, nobody's really from LA.
Who the fuck's from LA?
I don't know.
Yeah, none of them are.
Oh, by the way.
Just Aaliyah, I guess.
Dalia's from L.A.
Yeah.
And he's funny.
I don't really know his stand-up that well.
I don't either.
I don't think I've ever heard him tell a joke.
He's a funny guy.
I don't know.
I think what he does to women is funny.
I'm a fan.
I'm a fan of that.
I said women.
They're all adults.
East Coast Comedy Guys00:15:51
I backed him up on this.
These young women.
I feel bad for the guy.
It's like, it's like, we all got to pretend that hot, that 18-year-olds aren't hot.
We're like, Tim, by the way, Tim Dylan, his view from his, I don't want to give too much information, but it's directly into Beverly Hills High School.
Absolutely.
Into the cafeteria.
You look down into the house.
I have a sponsorship program for 17 years.
I had a stop.
By the way, you know what's funny?
I'm texting True Jordy.
You know him?
This massive beast guy.
British guy, yeah.
I think, because it's a, I, I have this Irish twink I talk to and I hang out with.
I'm texting True Jordy.
I think it's the Irish twink.
Literally, this is the, this is the conversation I have with True Jordi that was, I swear to God, I'm reading, I'm reading the conversation, okay?
Um, listen to this.
I'm not even kidding.
He goes, this Brandon Shaw versus Bobby Leish is wild, bro.
It's a car crash.
Hope you're in the UK soon.
And then I go, I'm going to call you in an hour.
I said, call me when you wake up, Winky Face.
We'll plan it.
True Jordy.
He goes, sweet.
Thanks.
Then he goes, then he texts me.
He goes, you awake, bro.
Do you know what True Jordy looks like?
Get up, True Jordan.
I swear to God.
Look at True Jordy.
Okay.
This guy's 80.
This is what you want.
Oh, no, you want a twink.
You don't like it.
Yeah, no, but this guy's a tank.
Listen to this.
He texts me.
I text him, right?
I go, you awake, bro.
You awake, bro.
Ready?
He texts me back.
Yeah, just listen to your podcast about Brendan raping you.
I'm crying, laughing.
I text him back.
You're allowed to rape me Wikiface.
Swear to God.
You're allowed to rape me Wikiface.
He takes me back.
I know because you won't say anything because you want it to be about the work.
I respect that.
LOL.
He goes, do you know when you may be in London?
I go, I'm flying you here.
Did you forget?
He doesn't understand.
You're stroking your cock.
I'm flying you here.
Did you forget?
By the way, I know.
Here's the thing.
I know this type of texting.
You are masturbating while you're doing this.
It was in my hand, maybe.
And then I go, I'm flying here.
Did you forget?
Now I start to worry.
I'm like, is this Twink?
Does he have like a dementia?
Which I'm fine with.
But he goes, I go, oh, who is this?
And he goes, oh, True Geordie Brian.
I'm like, oh my God.
How embarrassing.
I felt really embarrassed about that.
That's hilarious.
But, you know, nothing Chris did is proven.
No.
So the reality is I'm a person where I go, hey.
Also, I don't think what he did was, it wasn't illegal.
And I don't give a shit if you think a guy's creepy.
It doesn't matter.
I don't fucking care, dude.
And there's a lot of fucking, there's a lot of creepy people.
In fact, most people are creepy.
You just don't know about their fucking creepiness.
Louis C.K., he was just being a creep, right?
A little creepy.
A little creepy, dude.
Be a little fucking...
It happens, dude.
The worst thing Delia did was that he produced a school play.
It's the worst thing he did was he, I think he funded and produced a school play.
I don't actually know that he did anything.
My understanding when it was all like 18 or 19 year olds.
It was like a girl that was like 17, I guess.
And when he found out she was 17, he always said.
This was the creepiest thing that he did.
Right.
He found out she was 17.
Then like a year later, after she had turned 18, he hit her up again.
And that's a little bit.
It's a little bit, but it's good memory.
It's not, but it's not fucking grooming.
He's not a teacher.
He's not a fucking person in his life.
Dude, he likes hot young girls.
Right.
Most guys like hot young girls.
Most guys don't have the opportunity to get hot young girls.
So they deal with their fucking fucking hag wives.
You fuck your hagwives.
And so nothing was proven.
Yeah.
And even if whatever was proven, I think everything that he was accused of was just sort of him being a little bit of a douchey, creepy dude, which most guys are.
Most guys are way fucking worse than that, to be honest with you.
Most guys are fucking pieces of shit.
So I don't, I never really, you know, I think it's kind of funny.
I think it's all funny.
Like I tease these guys and I talk about this stuff on my shows.
And I think a lot of people in LA think that like Legion of Skanks and me, like we like, are trying to troll them.
It's like, no, dude, it's just sort of the elephant in the room.
It's a story.
When Callum gets fucking canceled for something, it's a big story in comedy.
But to not talk about it and not talk about it in a funny way.
It's the story where it's like 20 years ago.
Yeah.
You know, listen, I don't, whatever everyone's experience is, and I've talked about it before where I go, is it possible that he had one idea of the night, she had another idea?
I'm sure.
Very possible.
Very possible.
And this was not what it's being portrayed as.
And that when we look at those dynamics of people that meet up, maybe they're drinking, they hook up.
And then, you know, 20 years ago.
They're also soulless actors.
There's LA soulless actors.
This is my thing with Megan Markle.
She's like, oh, they're racist.
And I'm like, of course they're racist, but you're an actress.
So I don't, I can't believe I'm going to believe you.
I'm choosing between the British reptilian royal family and an LA actress.
They're the same person.
I'm like, these, you know?
Yeah.
It's, yeah, you know, a lot of, it's, it's just a silly.
They, they got so, it's almost like I know Pete Davidson pretty well, right?
Yeah.
And sometimes I'll talk about him on my show and I feel bad sometimes because I'm like, I really like, I've always, really liked Pete.
Always been a really sweetheart of a guy, right?
But he's so famous that it's, I'm not talking about the Pete Davidson that I knew from the comedy scene.
I'm talking about this celebrity thing that's fucking Kim Kardashian and roasting Kanye.
It's like, it's so much bigger than, and I would feel bad if Pete Davis had ever heard us like talking shit.
It's not even really talking shit.
It's just sort of poking fun and making fun of the whole situation.
Yeah.
He might come to me one day and be like, hey, dude, why would you say that?
That like hurt my feelings.
And I was like, dude, you don't have feelings anymore.
You're famous.
You're a billionaire.
You just got to release yourself.
And also, like, I don't really feel bad for people that are fucking millionaires made fun of online.
I don't feel bad for you.
That's right.
That's your fucking biggest problem.
I feel bad.
Is that people on Reddit are saying mean words about, are you out of your fucking mind?
You're a millionaire.
Right.
And you care about what somebody on Reddit says.
There are people that cannot eat.
Yeah.
There are people that don't have the money to pay their rent.
They cannot get their kids insulin.
My feet.
Right.
Now, so those people, my audience.
Jeremiah Watkins.
We know them.
Jeremiah Watkins is doing the Star Max in L.A. trying to show people how he's slipping signs.
He's just trying to show people.
He's selling fruit with Mexicans right now on the freeway.
Jeremiah Watkins is trying to sell bottles of water on the 405.
So the reality is it's, you know, those are the people you go, it's, you know, people can say whatever they want.
It's just kind of like I learned a long time ago.
I have a very thick skin.
I get trolled.
I got, I got trolled by the Opi and Anthony subreddit years ago to the point where like I was posting, I was going back at them.
And it was like, they went fucking, dude.
They, I mean, it was like they made their own subreddits that were dedicated to me.
Right.
And it just literally gave me a thick skin to it.
Right.
There's nothing that anybody could say.
There's no word.
Here's, here's what's happening.
This is the physical action.
A stranger somewhere in the world is going like this.
Right.
Whether they're good words or bad words, the physical action, actually what it is.
My name, Tim Dylan, is the same name as a guy who works at Marvel.
And literally in his Twitter handle, he says not the comedian.
Yeah.
Because all day, every day, people just tweet at this guy and go, you're fat.
I hope you get AIDS.
I hope you get AIDS and die.
You're a fascist.
You piece of shit.
You sat next to Alex Jones.
You did a podcast.
And this guy's like, I don't know what's happening.
Yeah, dude.
I'm an artist.
The same thing.
There's a guy named John Jones who's not John Jones the fighter.
Right.
But like every time John Jones gets into some more trouble, he gets like 100 messages.
And, you know, same thing, not John Jones the fighter.
It's like, yeah.
It's fucking.
It's a difficult.
You got to develop a thick skin.
You lean into it.
And when objectively speaking, trolling is funny.
It's really funny.
There's that great moment in South Park.
Do you remember?
I don't know how much you watched South Park.
Not a ton, but I know it's brilliant.
I've watched a bunch of it.
There was a series they did.
It was a few episodes in a row where the dad became an internet troll.
Yeah.
It was fucking hilarious, dude.
It was so funny.
And he's trying to get somebody to understand it.
Whoever it is, they ask him.
They're like, why are you doing this?
This is so dumb.
What are you doing?
Why would you do this?
And he just, he almost loses control.
He's like, because it's funny.
Yeah.
And he just can't, like, he, it's, right.
People that don't get that, it's like frustrating.
There's a lot of people out there.
You got free time.
Yeah.
You're bored.
It's, it's a fun way to fuck with people.
Right.
Yeah.
And you are, many of those people maybe are not doing what they want per se.
Maybe they're like working at a job that's kind of boring and it's not that fulfilling and they go online and they fuck with it.
It's entertaining as fuck.
Entertaining.
I do it every time when I'm on a flight.
Every time I'm on a flight, I'm bored for five hours.
I just sit there and I start just trolling and arguing back and forth with people.
It's so fun and so silly.
So if you separate yourself from it and realize that it's just a stranger saying something that's probably not valid, then fucking the problem is when it's valid, I think it starts to affect people.
And that'll happen sometimes.
People will pull on a thread and they get something.
You go, oh, that one actually hurt a little bit.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I think that's part of it.
And I also think part of the problem is like there isn't an element of like people going like, here's your house.
You know what I mean?
Here's your address.
Here's where you.
I've had that.
Yeah.
If you have a family, you know, that's the concern.
There was an article that came out that said I was a proud boy.
Right.
This completely fabricated article.
Right.
Actually, it wasn't fabricated.
Okay.
I am a proud boy.
I'm the leader of the New Jersey chapter.
No.
Proud boys.
Yeah.
No, what happened was there was a bunch of Proud Boys that were fans of like Legion of Skanks.
Of course.
If people don't know the, you know, Gavin McGuinness started Proud Boys while he was on Anthony Kumia's network.
Now, my podcast was also on Anthony Kumi's network at the same time.
So it was just a ton of crossover.
Sure.
And they started this group as like a fucking gag.
At first, it was like they were just trying to be, and then it turned into something super politicized.
It was super, like they were going out to be counterpro.
If you're a fucking funny group, but you're counter-protesting, you got to look in the mirror and you go, oh, you're not a funny group, dude.
It's not about serial.
It's not about punching each other in the arm.
If you're counter-protesting in fucking riot gear, then it's something different than that.
And I'm not even necessarily demonizing that shit.
No.
Go fucking, you want to go fight in a Portland park?
Have fun.
Have at a fun.
You guys could beat the shit out of each other with bike locks.
You got a nice weekend.
I enjoy watching it online, right?
So there was a bunch of Proud Boys, though, that were fans of like Legion of Skanks and they were fans of us.
And they had a blog, like some Proud Boy newsletter, right?
And after I fought at Ellis Mania, they named me Proud Boy of the Month, right?
Right.
Proud Boy of the Month.
The context is they were just naming, they were, you know.
Naming whoever.
Whoever, right?
They would have said it was The Rock.
Had The Rock, you know, done something that, you know, they were a fan of his.
So that came out and I hit them up.
I was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
I was like, if you're a fan of mine, you would understand why this would be.
And I've never, I'm not shitting on the Proud Boys.
I'm not shitting on what they do.
But let's get real, dude.
It's a fucking scarlet letter.
You're in a scattered shoe and you have nothing to do with it.
You want to wear that scarlet letter, wear that scarlet letter all fucking day long, dude.
And I'm not going to kick you out of my show for wearing a Proud Boys hat.
I don't give a shit.
I don't even know what that even is.
The same way I wouldn't kick somebody out for wearing a fucking Antifa.
I don't kick any.
If you pay the money, I don't kick anyone out.
I don't give a shit.
You start yelling.
They start yelling shit, then it's over, right?
Yeah.
So I hit the guy up.
I was like, dude, you got to take that down.
That's crazy.
But the internet is forever.
And, you know, people, you know, they use, I guess, some sort of like Wayback Machine or whatever.
And they found this article specifically.
And then they, you know, they wrote a whole thing about how I'm a proud boy.
They said this tattoo on my arm was because I'm a fourth degree proud boy.
Yeah, it's just bad.
It's the number four.
It's just a shitty tattoo.
It's a shitty tattoo.
No, it's a good tattoo.
It's actually, it represents chaos theory.
It's a double pendulum.
It's not even a number four.
It's a double pendulum, which makes this design, which represents chaos theory.
Did your mom get that for you when you went to see Science?
No, it's no, I got, I mean, you know, no, I got this for my son.
I got this for my career.
I got it for everything.
We could be anywhere right now, Tim.
So that's the thing.
The infinite amount of decisions that we could have made in our lives.
Yeah.
Literally, dude.
It's crazy.
The fact that me and you are sitting here across each other is an actual create.
It's so unlikely.
The fact that Ben's here, the fact that these lights are here, it's so unlikely that it's a small fucking miracle, right?
And that's what this tattoo represents.
Yeah.
Not fucking a fourth degree proud boy, which is, you know, dumb.
And so, and people just started people, some guy wrote an article.
Yeah, then they share it.
And then they were like, you know, Proud Boy lives in this town in New Jersey.
They actually have the town wrong, which is funny because I have a generic name.
I think they got a different Luis Gomez.
But it was still like, I was like, and then, you know, I don't even say his name, but one of, you know, one of the comics that sort of trolls me online back in New York.
Yeah.
He started posting about it and he started retweeting the article.
And that's why I really started having a fucking big problem with this kid.
Because like, no, I do have a family.
I do have a house.
Your intent.
That's when it goes too far.
Your fucking intent is to put my address out there so maybe somebody will see me and come up to me and my family.
What do you think is going to fucking happen there?
What the fuck do you think is going to happen if somebody comes up to me and my fucking family?
It's a crazy thing to do, especially, and this is my problem with that kid specifically.
He knew I wasn't a proud boy.
He knew what was going on.
Like he was completely aware.
And that's where I go.
That's a fucking irresponsibility.
Just be real.
That's when it goes too far.
Yeah.
That's when it's too far.
Yeah.
And I'm not fucking, I would never give out somebody's address.
I would never, I know we make jokes about doxing people.
No, I don't really want people to do that shit.
But it's fucking hot in the kitchen, dude.
It really is.
And in a weird way, after Trump left, now it's cooled down a little bit because I feel like the people on the left, they feel like they got to, they don't feel like they have to fight so hard.
You got a little bit of a W. Comedy's sort of lower on the rung of priorities.
Yeah, as it should be.
As it should be.
But if Trump runs again, it's going to get hot in the kitchen.
It's going to get hot in the kitchen.
It may get so hot where it's like, it's scalding.
Yeah.
And I don't give a fuck about politics.
Right.
None of us do.
None of us, we all have ideas and values and things, but then we also realize our job, and this is the problem, is like, you know, you're going to have fans that believe everything.
Yeah.
I have fans that believe Trump's Hitler.
I have fans that believe Trump's the greatest president that's ever lived.
It's not my business.
I don't really care what my fans believe.
I care that I'm doing my job.
I care what I believe.
I don't give a shit what the people in the audience believe.
How do I even, how would I even know?
It's inconsequential for me and my game that I'm playing, who the president is.
If the president, whoever the president is, and this is what, you know, we said before about gas prices, right?
It's inconsequential.
If that's where my, like, I'm focused on those things, everything from gas prices to who the president is to all these shit that I truly really can't control.
I know that you can.
Right.
You can't.
I'm hyper-focused on playing my game and sort of moving forward.
And those are variables that have very little effect on whether or not I'm moving forward.
That's right.
Yeah.
Fans Don't Matter00:02:04
Lewis Gomez, where can the people find you?
Where can they, where can the people support what you're doing?
Is SkankFest completely sold out?
SkankFest completely sold out.
How many tickets do you sell?
We do 2,500 people per day.
Okay.
So very exclusive.
Very exclusive.
It's not, it feels like a big party.
It's one venue, four rooms going on at the same time.
Your special?
Yeah, my special's up.
My old one's up on YouTube.
I'm doing, I think we're doing, Gas Digital is going to produce six half-hour specials this summer, and I'm going to do another half hour for Gas Digital, the Gringo Poppy Way.
Buy my special.
We'll put it on Gas Digital.
You should just buy it.
Just buy it flat out.
You should just buy it flat out.
I'll sell it to you.
$500.
Put it on Gas Digital.
Let's go.
I was thinking.
No, we're going to put them out on YouTube.
We're going to put them out on YouTube.
There'll be an extended cut on Gas Digital, uncensored, extended, a few more jokes.
How are you going to choose the comics?
We have Rebecca Trent and Christine Evans are executive producing.
And, you know, yeah, they produce SkankFest with me.
So I think we're going to do one with me, Dave.
Looks like maybe Mike Racine, Aaron Burg.
Okay.
A few killers.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably six or seven of them.
So look out for that.
Also, I'm on the road a ton right now.
Go to Lewisofskanks.com.
I'm going all over California.
I'm going to San Diego.
I'm going to Ontario.
I'm going all over Texas.
I'll be in Dallas.
I'll be in Fort Worth.
I'll be in Austin.
Fucking Emos, Pennsylvania is coming up.
Albany's coming up.
A lot of stuff coming up.
LewisFskanks.com.
Me and Aaron Burger are going on tour all over the place all this fall.
Aaron Burger's hilarious.
Fucking Killer.
One of the dirtiest comics.
Great show.
And yeah, check out my podcast.
I do three podcasts, Legion of Skanks, Real Ask Podcasts, and YoMMA Rap.
They're all on my network, which is gasdigitalnetwork.com.
You don't have to subscribe.
You can just go and listen to the latest episodes and watch the latest episodes for free right on the website.
Or you can subscribe on iTunes everywhere else.
And there's a premium site as well if you guys really like it.
You guys want to get the archives and all that.
Lewis Gomez, thank you for coming out, representing New York Comics Podcasters, chopping it up here with us out in L.A.
Three Podcasts on One Network00:00:27
And, you know, we love you guys in New York and we miss you.
It's good to see you.
I love you, Timmy.
I love you guys.
You know, I have a ton of respect for what you do.
I look up to you.
I look at what you guys are doing.
I take influence from it in very many ways.
And yeah, dude, it's fucking, it's really nice to see you.
Well, we also look in the same way we look down on you guys.
You know, we absolutely look down on you and we appreciate what you're doing at that level.