This week Tim explains why we should've never invaded, the next step for Afghan charities, why the Spirit of Q Is Alive In Palm Beach, Larry David and Dershowitz get in a fight on the Vineyard, and what our old pal Ghislaine is up to.
Bonus episodes every week:
▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
See Tim Live on the road:
▶▶ http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:
🩳 UNDERWEAR:
Order with PROMO CODE Tim
▶▶ https://www.sheathunderwear.com/
🔒 VPN:
Get three months free
▶▶ https://www.expressvpn.com/timdillon
🥣 CEREAL:
Use code TimDillon for free shipping!
▶▶ https://magicspoon.com/timdillon
🔵 BLUE CHEW :
Use promo TD
▶▶ https://bluechew.com/
🤖 MANSCAPED:
Use code TIMD
▶▶ https://www.manscaped.com/
👨🦱 HAIR LOSS:
▶▶ https://www.keeps.com/TimDillon
📦 SHIPPING:
Enter code TIMDILLON
▶▶ https://www.shipstation.com/
🎧 HEADPHONES:
For 15% off!
▶▶ https://www.buyraycon.com/tim
🤳 COLOGNE AND SKINCARE:
Use code TIM
▶▶ https://hawthorne.co/
🛏️ BEDS:
▶▶ https://helixsleep.com/timdillon
🚗 INSURANCE:
▶▶ https://gabi.com/timdillon
🚬 QUIT SMOKING:
Use code TIM:
▶▶ https://lucy.co
⚓ NICK DAVIS'S PODCAST (ANOTHER PODCAST SHOW)
▶▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtvB1iiShWreiKusHjzXI0w?sub_confirmation=1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/another-podcast-show/id1566793182
💆THERAPY
▶▶ https://www.betterhelp.com/TIMD
📦 BOX OF AWESOME
▶▶ http://boxofawesome.com use code TIMDILLON at checkout for 20% off
💊 MASF SUPPLEMENTS
▶▶ https://masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF
🧴 DUKE CANNON DEODERANT
▶▶ https://dukecannon.com/ use code DILLON for 10% off
💍 NORTHBANDS RINGS
▶▶ https://www.northbands.com/ use promo code TIM for 20% off
BITCOIN CONFERENCE
▶▶ https://b.tc/conference use code TIMDILLON for 10% off
CERTIFIED PIEDMONTESE BEEF
▶▶ 25% OFF with discount code TIMDILLON at https://www.cpbeef.com
HELLO FRESH
▶▶ Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/timdillon12 for 12 free meals including free shipping!
GET ACRE GOLD and start investing in physical Gold today!
▶▶ https://www.GetAcreGold.com/TimDillon
MAKE CRYPTO SIMPLE!
▶▶ Visit https://Dchained.com/Inner-Circle and sign-up today.
PSYCHO LAS VEGAS!
▶▶Check out the full lineup and purchase tickets at https://VIVAPSYCHO.COM
BIRD DOGS!
▶▶ https://www.birddogs.com/ use code TIMDILLON
DOORDASH
▶▶ Download the Doordash app and enter code TIMDILLON to get 25% off.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃:
📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/
🐦 Twitter:
https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon
🌍 Tim Dillon Live Dates!:
http://timdilloncomedy.com/#shows
📹 Subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC161r7ShBvMxfyzCtiSMRbg
Listen on Spotify!
https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
▶▶ Ed McMahon
benavery33@gmail.com
https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/
https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#TheTimDillonShow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Clarissa Ward's Friendly Taliban00:14:08
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show Adjusting to Taliban rule in Afghanistan.
Clarissa Ward, the journalist who famously called the Taliban friendly, which everyone got mad about, but they were being friendly.
They were chanting death to America, but they were chanting it in a fun way.
And then all the people jumped on her.
They were like, Oh, CNN will describe any of America's enemies as friendly.
It's like, hey, you know, they were ebooiant.
They were happy.
They had won.
There's no reason for them to not be friendly.
They won.
The Taliban won.
All these people that are like, no, they didn't really win.
They won.
What do you call it?
We were thrown out of the country.
You know, they threw us out.
They waited 20 years of painstaking taking these little towns and villages that nobody gave a fuck about, building their power base back.
20 years fighting for Afghanistan.
And they finally did it.
And they're thrilled.
They're very happy, which is why, as they're chanting death to America, there's something they're friendly.
There's a happiness.
But Clarissa Ward finally left the country.
She was able to leave on an evacuation flight.
These flights at the Afghan airport, I mean, this airport, I mean, it's worse than LaGuardia.
That's how bad it is over there.
I mean, it's really bad.
And everyone's saying that we should this isn't the one you pay for.
But this guy, now, this is sad, a 19-year-old Afghan footballer.
This is like tragic, was among those who fell from a US C-17 military aircraft after rescuing people from the Taliban-ruled region.
This is the tragedy of this type of event when there's a coup.
And you see it here, and I don't know if you can see that, but you see bodies falling from the plane.
And it's fucking heartbreaking that this is what happened.
When you have that general, that moron, Millie, I think is his name, who's going, I saw no indication that I had no idea.
We saw nothing.
There was no indication that the Taliban was taking over.
We had no idea this was going to happen.
This is the same guy that gave that speech a couple of months ago where he's like, I want to learn why white people hate.
Remember that?
That guy who was sitting there like he was doing a monologue, you know, from a new, you know, Shonda Rhymes project on Netflix.
He was like, I want to learn why white people hate.
I want to know.
Well, how about you find out why the fucking country was taken over by the Taliban?
Isn't that your job?
Shouldn't you devote at least as much time to finding out why Afghanistan is failing miserably as you do to wanting to find out why white people hate your words?
And this is, you know, America has no credibility now.
And by the way, it really didn't have a ton of credibility leading into this last couple of years.
But now we have none.
Like imagine going into a country now with a straight face and telling them like, we take care of our people.
Don't worry about it.
We take care of our people.
If you work for us, you help us.
If you're a translator, if you help us gather intelligence, when shit hits the fan, we've got your back.
We don't leave people.
I mean, there's video evidence.
There is, you can, you could, like anyone they're telling that to should just pull up a YouTube link and be like, actually, what about this?
You have this young, good-looking 19-year-old football player whose entire life is over because he trusted the United States.
That is what's tragic about it.
This guy's entire life is over because he trusted the United States.
A member of Afghanistan's national youth soccer team was among the people who were killed as they tried desperately to cling to a U.S. military plane evacuating people from Kabul.
He was 17, this guy.
Geez, I thought some say 19, some say 17.
Monday, a crowd of Afghans surged on the tarmac of the international airport in the frantic scramble to escape a country newly overrun by the Taliban.
Anwari was one of hundreds of people who wanted to leave the country and in an incident fell off an American military plane and died.
The sports community of Afghanistan was in grief.
The statement said it wished Zaki a place in heaven and offered a prayer that God grant.
I mean, this is so fucking sad.
And this is unfortunately what happens when you trust the United States of America.
I mean, there's no other way to say it.
I feel horrible for him.
Now, I'm going to be a bit, I'm going to be a little, and I might, it may come off as insensitive, not about him.
But I may, this may read a bit callous.
I'm less concerned with the people who went there to do charity.
Now, here's why.
This is real charity.
Most people, when they do charity, they like write a check and they go to some event, you know, in Manhattan or Bel Air.
They go to somebody's mansion and they buy a $50,000 dress and they write a $25,000 check and it is a social event, charity.
True.
Philanthropy in cities like New York and places like LA is how you rise up the ladder of the social scene in that city.
This is not that.
This is real charity, real life.
You are putting yourself in danger.
You're putting yourself at risk to help people.
Nothing wrong with that.
But here we go.
When things go wrong as they have, this is when charity becomes even more real.
This no longer is a feel-good mission.
Afghanistan's no longer a place for white women to go find themselves and just connect and fial and like, I just want to get away from San Francisco for a while.
I just want to go.
No, You're in it now.
You are now living in Afghanistan.
And listen, some charity, most charity, I would imagine is good people, great people per se, helping other people.
But there is some charity that's a little cynical.
There is some charity where it's white people who want to like show the world that they're a little different and they care, even though do they?
And not always white people, but primarily white people.
And then they go to places like Afghanistan and they do like, you know, whatever, whatever they're doing, you know, you know, they distribute, you know, iPads to the women and let them listen to Call Her Daddy.
Well, that is now over.
That is now over.
Call Her Daddy has been banned in Afghanistan.
The Soho House Kabul is closed.
Okay.
So now, yes, I mean, Aunt Coulter said, everyone's like, oh, these Americans got to get evacuated from Kabul.
She goes, who the hell is in Kabul?
But listen, there are people there.
There are good people there.
No doubt.
There are people there who went to that country to genuinely help women and people.
But then there are people there who were cynically exploiting a situation.
And this happens all the time.
And some of these charities are CIA front groups.
We know that.
Knowingly or unknowingly.
And they know.
And some people are there to genuinely help.
And some people are there because it's, you know, it's maybe more about them.
And it's more about their, you know, I've talked to people.
And I'm not just talking here.
Everyone goes, you're just talking with your fat mouth.
No, I have spoken to people that have gone to these countries under the guise of being a savior, of helping people.
And you know what some of the, and I'm not speaking about only the military, although I have spoken to members of the military, but I'm talking about people that have worked in the capacity of charity.
And you know what some of them have told me?
Some of them have said, you know, going there and helping, I realized that the people of the country did not want me there.
And this is a hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson to learn.
They go, we were not culturally in sync.
Yes, there were things I did that helped them.
They were grateful for certain things.
But overall, on the whole, it was, you know, I don't want to say a wasted effort, but it was perhaps a little in vain because some of it is vanity.
Some of it is.
It's why I didn't go over to Afghanistan and start teaching women to read.
Now, people say to me, well, that sounds like you don't care.
I care.
The problem is that you're fighting against the ocean.
And the ocean is always going to win.
The waves are going to win.
They're going to knock you back down.
And I believe there's a lot of charity to be done in America.
I know.
I don't know how I got that idea.
But I'm telling you, if you take a road trip through America, you're going to be convinced, as I am, that there are tons of people to help right here.
Doesn't mean that you shouldn't help people over there, but there's a lot of people to be helped right here.
But that's not as glamorous.
Let's be honest.
That's not as sexy to tell your friends that you went to Vassar with that you're helping people in Ohio.
You want to tell them that you're helping people in Kabul.
Let's be very honest.
And today is when you have to pay the piper.
You have to really be the thing that you want to be.
Truly, if you really want to be the person who's like, yeah, I'm in Kabul right now, like teaching people how to rat.
Well, today is the day that that just became real.
That's all.
You may have to join the resistance.
I want to read this thread.
This is a great thread.
And we did a great episode on the Patreon about this because this era, which spanned 20 years, my awakening into U.S. foreign policy maybe happened in the most meaningful way with the onset of the Afghanistan war, because I was in 11th grade and all of a sudden things mattered in a way they hadn't before.
Friends of mine, their parents died in 9-11.
Friends of mine were joining the military and were becoming Marines and things like that.
The onset of the Afghan war was when our country's foreign policy was more than something that I looked at in, you know, a theoretical way.
This became real.
And I, when I was 17 and addicted to cocaine, I thought it was a great idea.
I thought all this, because I was very face value.
And when I read a Tom Friedman article in the New York Times and he was like, the world has gone from interconnected to hyperconnect, you know, all these things that mean nothing, but you're like, yeah, I'm smart.
I'm smart.
And then Tom Friedman would write an article where he'd go, you know, I saw a kid in an Osama bin Laden shirt and a Yankees cap and we need to make sure he grows into the cap.
And I'd go, yeah, yeah, that's something he wrote.
And I'd go, yeah, that's smart.
That's smart.
And I believed, you know, that if we went around the world and helped free these people, they would love us again.
The Brutal Reality of War00:12:15
I was on cocaine.
I had an excuse.
I was a 17-year-old closeted cocaine addict from Long Island whose emotions were completely out of whack with his thoughts.
I was just feeling things and not thinking.
I remember just going, yeah, like you'd sit on the bus and you'd watch some, that was like the era of like patriotic montages and, you know, the concert for 9-11 and, you know, Bruce Springsteen and the Who and all these people.
And, you know, it was a big thing.
And it was a beautiful moment for the country because we had just attacked ourselves.
And then after that, we had, you know, we launched into this very kind of beautiful campaign of healing and, you know, patriotism.
But it felt good and it felt like this is right.
And I remember I wanted to join the military.
I thought about it.
I was looking one day in the library.
You know, I like never went to class.
I was in the study hall in the library looking at like requirements to join the CIA because when you're young and something like that happens, you go, I want to live a life of meaning and purpose.
And look at these dumb teachers.
They don't fucking do anything.
And all these entertainers and celebrities and, you know, all this fame and money, the two things now I've realized are the only things that matter.
But back then, I thought that what really mattered was honor and valor and serving a purpose higher than yourself.
God, was I wrong.
But I thought for a moment, a brief moment right after that happened, that actually life was about helping other people.
It was about agreeing that certain things were right and certain things were wrong and going to the places where wrong was being done and reversing it and making it right, making the world a better place.
That's what I genuinely believed on cocaine in the library of my high school.
And I would, you know, say, how do I get into the FBI?
How do I go and frame people?
How do I get into the CIA?
How do I blackmail doctors to not give kids medicine so that we can figure out a way for ExxonMobil to do more efficient business?
I didn't know.
You see, I thought the CIA was like a cracked squad of people that were like, there's a bomb on that bus.
They're going to kill babies.
And the CIA would like jump through the windows of the bus and get the bomb and then like throw it in a field and it would blow up.
And then the bus driver would be like, and he'd be an old black man, not because he's racist, because my bus driver, Keith, who I loved was an old black man.
And he'd be like, thank you, CIA.
And he would just drive the kids to the school.
That's what I thought was happening.
But I was so wrong about that.
I come to find out after many years of reading books and rehab, I found out that I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I started to get control of my emotions, get control of what was going on.
But for a while, there I didn't.
I was just sitting in the library of Holy Trinity High School, drugged up, stoned or coked out and eating some really good meatball palm, chicken parm lunches, phenomenal, really good, especially for high school, but really for anywhere.
And then Friday bacon cheeseburger day.
And then you would just be stoned and eat.
And then you would just kind of stare at the computer and you would just go, I want to live a life of meaning and intrigue and purpose.
And I didn't know anything.
And I remember I had friends of mine that became Marines.
I had friends of mine that went into the service.
And some of them served multiple tours.
And I visited a few of them, like, you know, down in North Carolina, Camp Lejeune.
And I, my voice is starting to go.
I got to be careful.
I did a show last night at the Vulcan Gas Company in Austin that was a lot of fun, but everybody was smoking in the green room.
And it was like, it gets my throat.
And I haven't smoked in two months.
So now this was somebody who I believed served.
They did serve.
They were deployed there twice, once in 2018, once in 2009 or 10.
This is as painful and brutal an assessment as you can read looking at all the life lost, which is more important, but also the amount of money spent, the resources diverted to this engagement.
Which again, we know the cynical outlook.
We cover it on the Patreon.
You know, the chaos, the Pentagon losing all this money, the rare earth minerals that are under Afghanistan, the pipeline deals, the fucking poppy fields.
We get it all.
We don't know the full extent of the pillaging and the things that happened.
And we won't know the full extent of that probably for years or until some real investigative journalism is done.
But this thread, this screed really sat with me because I was like, God, it's tough to read this and knowing what we know now.
But it says, boy, howdy, am I having a lot of feelings about Afghanistan today?
I was deployed there twice, once in 2008 and once in 2009, 10.
It was already obvious that the Taliban would sweep through the very instant we left.
And here we are today.
I know how bad the Taliban is.
I know what they do to women and little boys.
I know what they're going to do to the interpreters and the people who cooperated with.
It's awful.
It's bad.
But we are leaving.
And all I feel is grim relief.
Afghanistan is a dusty, beige nightmare of a place full of proud, brave people who did not want us fucking there.
And we called them Hajis and worse.
And they were better than we were, braver and stronger and smarter.
I remember going through the phone to the people we detained and finding clip after clip of Bollywood musicals, women singing in fields of flowers.
Rarely did I find anything incriminating.
I remember finding propaganda footage cut together from the Soviet invasion and our own Operation Enduring Whatever and laughing about how stupid Afghans were not to know that we weren't the Russians.
And eventually I started realizing I was the stupid one.
I remember how every year the U.S. would have to decide how to deal with the opium fields.
You could let them alone and then the Taliban would shake the farmers down and use the money to buy weapons.
Or you could carpet bomb the fields and then the farmers would join the Taliban.
Or you could give the farmers fertilizer as an incentive to grow wheat instead of opium poppy and the farmers would sell the fertilizer to the Taliban who used it to make explosives for IEDs that could destroy a million dollar MRAP, whatever it is, and maim everyone inside.
I remember we weren't allowed to throw batteries away because people who worked on base would go through the trash and collect hundreds of dead batteries, wire them together so that they just had enough juice for one charge and that charge to detonate an IED.
I remember the look on my roommate's face after she got back from cutting the dead bodies of two soldiers out of a Humvee that got blown up by an IED.
And I have always imagined that was made with fertilizer from an opium farmer and detonated with 100 thrown out batteries.
I remember an Afghan kid who worked in the DFAC cafeteria who we called Cowboy, always wore this cowboy hat and an I'm with Stupid t-shirt someone had given him, always with a big smile, high school age.
Cowboy was a good student and he wanted to go to college in America, but there weren't colleges that took Afghans.
The education system was too shit.
No program to help kids like him.
I looked.
I wonder if he's dead now for serving us food and dreaming of something different.
But if cowboy is dead, then he died a long time ago.
And if cowboy is dead, then it's our fault for going in there in the first place, giving his family the option of trusting us when we are the least trustworthy people on the planet.
We use people up and throw them away like it's nothing.
And now we are leaving.
And the predictable thing is happening.
The Taliban is surging in and taking it all back.
They have what you can't buy or train.
They have patience and a bloody-mindedness that warrants more respect than we ever gave them.
I am team to get the fuck out of Afghanistan, which as a friend pointed out to me today has always been Team Taliban.
It's Team Taliban or Team Stay Forever.
There is no third team.
So I'm sitting here reading these sad fucking tweets about the suffering in Afghanistan and the horror of the encroaching Taliban and how awful it is that this is happening, but I can't stop feeling this grim happiness.
Like finally, you fuckers, finally you get to see it too.
No more blown-up soldiers.
No more Bollywood videos on phones whose owners are getting shipped to God knows where.
No more hypocrisy.
No more pretending it meant anything.
It didn't.
It didn't mean a fucking thing.
Wow.
What a thread.
And it is crazy.
But if you remember in the beginning of the Afghan war, we were just sweeping people up, some of them terrorists, some of them not, and sending them to places like Guantanamo Bay, sending them to Bagram, which I believe is in Afghanistan.
It might have been in Iraq.
Sending them to places, I think it was in Afghanistan, Bagram Air Force Base.
It's Afghanistan.
Yes.
Sending them to places like the salt pit to be tortured.
Look that up.
Look up the salt, the Bagram salt.
Yeah.
The salt plate was a black prison, okay?
Meaning that it was a CIA black site for interrogation.
It's located north of Kabul and was the location of a brick factory prior to the Afghanistan war.
That's where we would bring people and torture them because we were there to help them.
You see?
We were there to help them and we would bring them to this underground prison, this brick factory here, and torture them mercilessly until they gave us some type of information and people were tortured to death and die there.
And how do you think that made the people in Afghanistan feel?
Do you think we lost a few hearts and minds with that, with the salt pit?
Do you think perhaps, yeah, ex U.S. detainees describe unreported CIA torture.
You know, I mean, it's like...
Jesus, electric chair threats, potatoes.
Yes, yeah, water torture, waterboarding, beatings, threatened with electric chair.
They would put people in boxes and put bugs in there, let them crawl on them.
I mean, this was, again, this was how we were going to break the spirit of these people.
Well, guess what?
It didn't work.
Didn't work.
We lost this one and we lost.
And there's no other way to, yes, we could drop A-bombs and nukes or whatever, but we lost the ground game here big time.
We didn't have the will, nor should we have the will.
We're fighting for Afghanistan.
And this sucks.
It sucks across the board.
It sucks for the Afghans that thought they were going to have a different life.
It sucks for the soldiers who died and their deaths don't mean anything.
It sucks for the people that went over there to do some charity.
That sucks.
If you're still there, it's, you know, it really is going to test how much you believe.
I mean, you know, show the Afghan airport.
Show that plane leaving.
This is a very...
This is a crazy scene to watch.
You see this C-17.
This is a wild video to watch if you haven't seen it, which I'm sure you have.
And I'm telling you right now, there's a few days here before, as I said on the Patreon, we're going to get a media blackout.
And once there's a media blackout, it's pretty much, you know, we're pretty much done.
No one's going to care anymore.
So now that, look at this.
Okay, Ben, this is the wrong video.
This is a scene of Austin, Texas.
This is a scene of people leaving Austin, Texas.
Look at this.
They're all leaving.
Look at this scene of people running down South Congress to get out of Austin, Texas, to go back to a real city.
That's the Austin airport.
Media Blackout in Austin00:06:32
There's all the comics that moved here.
They thought they were going to be on Joe Rogan's show every week.
They are going to, comics are going to leave Austin like Afghani translators that worked with the Department of Defense.
They are going to get on planes so quickly and get the fuck out of there because they all thought they were coming down here to do Rogan show.
You know?
And then he had some guy that he like, you know, hunted for Bigfoot with on the ninth for the ninth time.
And all these comics are sitting here in Austin going, wait a minute, when's my time?
You better cling to that plane and get out.
Leaving your house is whatever.
Hei, du har kommet til Aschim, gjenferd og åndutrivelse.
Vi tar spøk på all vår.
Hei, jeg tror vi har blitt hjemsøkt.
Altså, det er noen som prøver å komme seg ut av veggen her.
Er det noen som vet av hva det var?
Nei, ikke som jeg vet.
Ja, men da er Bridget Jones da.
Hæ?
Ja, eller du vet ikke.
Altså, serier, filmer, dokumentarer, sånne ting da.
Å ja.
Alt for mange vet ikke at de har TV2 Play i veggen.
Eller i TV-pakkerne.
Sjekk selv på TV2 Play.no, veggen.
Vi i Rema 1000 har gjort det enklere å være kylling.
All vår kylling vokser nemlig saktere.
Og får mer tid og plass til å bruse dem i fjæra.
Og da blir det enklere for deg å velge kylling.
Enten du vil ha kvalitetsmerkestange, bestselleren Solvinge, eller Prima lavpris.
Rema-priser med bedre dyrevelferd inkludert.
Så slipper du å tenke på det.
Ja, det enkle er ofte det beste.
Rema 1000.
Altid lave priser.
We read a real fun article about Palm Beach.
All roads lead to Mor-a-Lago inside the Fury and Fantasy of Donald Trump's Florida.
You've got a fun crew down there.
I mean, let's separate this from ideology for a minute.
I know the audience is incapable of doing that.
You know, I don't understand.
It's probably because they have nothing going on in their lives that brings them any enjoyment.
But separating ideology for a minute, it's just a fun crew.
Roger Stone, Tucker, Sean Hannity, Ben Shapiro, Laura Ingram, and Coulter, Brad Parscal, the Trump campaign manager who's now advising Caitlin Jenner.
The epicenter of the American conservative movement has become Florida.
It's become this swamp of, you know, goons and scoundrels and grifters and just all-around fun people.
Tabloid culture.
Tabloid culture, the birthplace of the National Inquirer and Matt Drudge lives down there, the Drudge Report, which I love.
And conservatism was kept out of these mainstream institutions for a long time.
You know, a lot of the major papers in America and television networks were cosmopolitan in the sense that they were never hard left for sure.
They were liberal.
They were decidedly liberal on a lot of the key values that conservatives find themselves on the other side of.
And that's why a lot of the conservative personalities in media are a bit flashier because they're rappers, essentially.
They talk shit.
They're not getting published in mainstream places, right?
So they had to take over alternative media, talk radio and the internet, and people like Rush Limbaugh and Matt Drudge and Ann Coulter.
And they came from outside of this system where you played these respectability politics.
And these guys like Christopher Ruddy, you started Newsmax, and they're all down there in Palm Beach, Florida.
And it just seems like a lot of fun.
It seems like a lot of fun.
And if you read this Vanity Fair article, like the waiter who's serving Roger Stone and Laura Loomer food, it goes like this.
So they're seated in a private room.
A heavy set waiter comes in, an immigrant from Yugoslavia named Mario, who introduces himself as a diehard Republican.
He's crestfallen.
He sees Laura Loomer and Roger Stone sitting there.
And he goes, unbelievable what they did to us.
And Loomer goes, I know.
And the waiter goes, bunch of criminals.
And stoned Oliver Stone goes, not over yet.
And then Mario goes, that's right.
I'm hoping.
We're all hoping.
So they're keeping that hope alive down there in Florida.
It's like, you know, the song in the beginning of Portlandia, the dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.
That's what's going on.
The dream of Q is alive in Palm Beach, you know?
And it's just these people just kind of dancing around, eating steaks and martinis at 3 p.m., thinking that Trump's going to be reinstalled as president somehow.
Fat Mario the waiter, Laura Loomer, and Coulter, who then at the end of the article, Ann Coulter and Matt Drudge go, we're leaving Florida and we're not telling anybody where we're going.
And I guess they're leaving because Drudge and I are both leaving Florida and we're not telling anyone where we're going this time.
I guess because Coulter, she's fallen out of the Trump camp.
She's unhappy with Trump.
But it's fun.
Florida's always kind of been a fun place.
And I remember when we snuck into the Breakers Buffet.
Yes.
And there's something nice about Florida.
There's something distinctly American about lying your way into an all-you-can-eat Mother's Day buffet without a mother.
We had no mother.
We honored no one.
It was just to sit there and feed ourselves on shellfish.
And it was great.
And Seguru was there, but we didn't even see him.
Politics Over Real Change00:03:21
We didn't see him, yeah.
But that's Florida for you.
It's a fun article in Vanity Fair if you read it.
And I mean, the thing is, you know, Ben said, I'd love to go to one of these parties earlier.
And you would and you wouldn't.
Because one thing I learned when I was debating people that were to become people like this, right?
A lot of the kids that I was debating when I was in college, and even though I was at a community college, many of these people were going on to four-year schools.
And they were going to, I think one of them worked for Mitt Romney for a while.
The thing about people who live, sleep, eat, and breathe politics is that they're boring.
The thing about politics is it obscures many of the truths of life, which are truly apolitical, right?
The deep human truths of life, which is what art tries to get to, which is why art sucks now, because we're fitting those truths or showcasing them in a way that has to break down into this political binary.
It's not natural.
But, and I'm not saying artists are fun to be around either.
Don't mistake me.
But the thing about people whose entire life, their entire existence, the way they interface with the world is all politics is deeply unfulfilling.
It's deeply unfulfilling.
And many of them know that.
Because there is a disconnect between what you're saying and what's happening.
And that's a chasm.
Meaning you're not really in the fight to change things as much as you're in the fight to become famous or wealthy.
And you're really trying to establish yourself.
And then there's this movement of people that you can kind of grab onto for a minute and you could guide them or push them in a certain way.
But that's an unruly mob of human beings that's just going to go somewhere else or you got to keep track of them, keep hold of them.
It's not easy.
And, you know, real change is very difficult.
And it's not that glamorous.
And the people that work to make real change, like real activists, lawyers and doctors and people that give up lucrative careers to then go help people on the street and actually help people get elected to local government and change laws that affect people's lives.
That's very different than the pundit class who's swilling, you know, gin martinis at 3 a.m. at the Breakers in Palm Beach and talking about revolution and this is happening and this is happening.
And none of it's really happening.
That's the thing.
I mean, it's not really happening.
And the people that do this kind of know that, but they've given themselves over to it and their entire life is politics.
There's not much else there.
And it's why I decided to get out.
You know, I thought I wanted to be in that world and I said, I don't want to be in that world.
Hurricane Sandy and Trauma00:15:11
I don't want to have to have an idea or a thought and go, wait a minute, is this something that my enemies would say?
Or is this something my allies would say?
And then what?
I didn't want to have to put everything through that prism.
But if I did, it does seem fun to do it in Palm Beach, Florida with these lunatics.
They seem a lot more fun than the neoliberal Hampton set and the Brooklyn socialist set.
These people seem a lot more fun.
If we're just going to go off fun, if we're just going to go off fun, Martinez with these lunatics, I mean, the true answer is none of the above.
But if you had to, it might be here.
Hurricane heading to Long Island.
Long Island does very well with hurricanes.
I remember after Hurricane Sandy, people were sitting out on their lawn with rifles because they were afraid of, quote, wandering gangs of minorities.
So Long Island really shines during natural disasters.
People were going around to rob each other's houses on Long Island.
There were people sitting in their driveways with weapons.
And I'm not saying that there wasn't some fuckery.
I'm sure there was.
This is Hurricane Henry or Henri.
It is strengthening.
It is expected to become a hurricane on Saturday.
I'm really wondering.
I'm really wondering how bad this is going to be.
Now, you got to remember that.
Strengthens to a category one.
That's nothing.
That's nothing.
Nothing.
Hurricane Sandy was the Long Island.
It was the first time in a very long time that Long Island had really gone through a natural disaster.
It destroyed 650,000 homes or damaged.
It took years to get back on their feet, these people.
I knew Long Island was finally back when insurance companies were calling people and saying, we overpaid you.
We gave you too much money and you owe us money.
And then people that I knew from comedy, comedians in Long Island that didn't have jobs, were working at those call centers, calling up these elderly people who had finally just had a moment of peace because their home had just been finished after years and said, hey, Miss Marino, we overpaid you about $30,000.
You owe us.
What?
You owe us money.
The insurance company, you better make good.
What's going on, Ralph?
They're saying we owe them money.
You better fucking pay, you old bitch.
So as soon as that started happening again and people in Long Island started leaning into their character, I knew that Long Island was going to be fine.
But I remember I was living in New York City when Hurricane Sandy happened and it damaged where I grew up.
I mean, it was underwater.
The town I grew up in was underwater.
It was really, really bad.
Yeah, this is photos from Island Park during Hurricane Sandy.
It was bad.
People were without power.
There's boats in people's yards.
Looters will be shot like that.
There you go.
That's beautiful.
But it did.
It pushed people to the brink.
And I'm not, you know, I did not experience it, right?
I was in Manhattan.
I never lost power.
I was living in Midtown Manhattan.
Some of Manhattan lost power downtown, but not where I lived.
And Hurricane Sandy was, it was real character building from Long Island.
It really was.
Long Island used to be a racist place.
After Hurricane Sandy, Long Island used to be a place where people were like very paranoid about different races.
Now, after Hurricane Sandy, it really became a beautiful place where different types of people understood and respected each other.
But before that, can you believe it was not that?
And Long Island, it was tough.
And I remember talking to friends.
And of course, people were, you know, people used Hurricane Sandy for years after as an excuse for their lives.
It's, it will be COVID too.
You know, you will, the biggest losers in your life, and they're already doing it, but they'll do it more, will go, I had so much going on.
COVID.
I was about to do it.
Do what?
Everything.
COVID.
And that's what Hurricane Sandy was.
People were like, I was doing it.
I was, oh my God, Hurricane Sandy can't.
And it fucked me for years.
Yes.
I couldn't get a job, but go to school or anything.
I just had to sit in water for years and drink.
I just had to sit in disgusting water and drink for seven years after Hurricane Sandy.
And that's what's going to happen with COVID too.
On the other side of COVID, people are going to go, yeah, you know, I was going to go to college or I was going to get that job.
I was going to move.
That's going to be the big one.
I was going to leave.
But because of COVID, I couldn't do it.
And some of those people will be correct, just like some of the people in Long Island were being genuine when they said that this fucked up their plans.
But then there will be the vast majority of people that are, or maybe not the vast majority, but far too many people that are just lying about this.
And you're going to turn around.
It'll be like, it'll be like 2026.
And you'll go, so wait a minute.
Run this back again.
You dropped, you didn't go to college in 2023 because of the coronavirus.
Explain this.
And then they'll have to jump through hoops and explain it and say like, oh, well, actually, what happened was my mother's friend died of COVID and we took in her cat.
And that was more of a burden than we had imagined.
And then I thought I had it, but I never did.
And then we couldn't pay the bills because my uncle had a bar and my boyfriend got in a bar fight with a guy who may have had COVID.
And that was why he was crazy.
And my boyfriend split his head open in the parking lot.
We had to pay for my boyfriend to get out of jail and then go to trial.
And then he did six months and six months.
Well, he can't work.
And how are we going to feed this cat from that lady who died of COVID?
And you see what I mean?
COVID.
You go, what?
You see?
Because that's people, Hurricane Sandy.
They'll be, my car was destroyed in Hurricane Sandy.
And then I got another car and it was repossessed and it was taken by the state because they said I was drunk, but I wasn't.
And you go, does this really have to do with the hurricane?
Can you draw a straight line from the hurricane to where you are now?
Draw a straight line from COVID to where you are now.
Now, many people will be able to.
They'll be like, I went in, I had 19 strokes.
And then you go, got it.
Hey, got it.
Got it.
And those people are going to barely be able to talk.
We get it.
But then there's going to be the people who are going to get very creative about this period of time.
And I said before, I said on the Patreon episode, how excited I am for whatever the next phase of life is, whatever the next phase of culture is, because we need it.
People are psychologically coming apart.
The news is circular.
We've all had enough.
There's nothing that we haven't talked about 19 times, you know?
It would be like, imagine if Hurricane Sandy kept happening.
Like imagine if Hurricane Sandy just kept battering like you would build the house halfway back and then Gail Force wins again.
Floods again.
It would be crazy if that kept happening.
Like Hurricane Katrina just happened the next year.
Just again.
They're like, it's another surge.
It's Hurricane Katrina, Delta Very.
And it just wouldn't stop.
This is great.
Larry David screamed at Alan Dershwitz at a grocery store because he's mad that he's friends with Donald Trump or that he's in the Trump team.
I saw you with your arm around Mike Pompeo.
It's disgusting.
Dershowitz goes, he's my former student in Harvard Law.
I greet all of my former students that way.
I can't greet my former students.
David, it's disgusting.
Your whole enclave, it's disgusting.
You're disgusting.
Then Larry walks away.
Alan takes off his t-shirt to reveal another t-shirt that says, it's the Constitution stupid.
And then Dershowitz drove off in an old dirty Volvo.
I love, by the way, that it wasn't that he's been accused multiple times of rape by underage people.
It's that he's like a Republican.
That's really, if you want to talk about Hollywood, that's the perfect encapsulation of Hollywood.
You know, it'll be like, if Jeffrey Epstein was found out that he was alive and Larry David bumped into him in Martha's Vineyard, he'd be like, I can't believe you were such good friends with Trump.
I never knew that.
By the way, Dershowitz has been accused by this Virginia Guffrey or Guffrey, I don't know.
Guffrey, yeah, Virginia Guffrey of molesting her, right?
Multiple times.
Yeah, seven times.
Seven times?
Between the ages of 16 and 19.
Well, that's too much.
Using some of the same language that he had employed to describe Epstein's victims a decade earlier.
This is what Dershowitz called this woman.
And this is how you know she's telling the truth.
He called her a serial liar, a prostitute, and a bad mother.
I mean, that sounds a bit personal for someone you didn't rape, Dersh.
Can you believe that?
Like, if somebody accused you of rape, wouldn't your first question be like, what?
Who?
How?
Huh?
But he's like, she's a liar, a prostitute, and a bad mother.
It's like, well, it sounds like you're protesting a little bit too much.
In fact, I think that you know this woman quite well, and you may have done the wrong thing to her.
Then he said, who could not be believed, quote, against somebody with an unscathed reputation like me.
Does he have an unscathed reputation?
I don't know about that.
He insisted that Guffrey had, quote, made the whole thing up out of whole cloth in search of, quote, a big payday.
When a TV reporter in Miami questioned his characterization of Guffrey, a sex abuse victim, as quote, a prostitute, Derschwitz replied, she made her own decisions in life.
He's basically admitting he fucked her, but he's saying she's a prostitute.
Who cares?
She made her own decisions, even though she was underage.
Yeah.
So it's just very interesting.
Larry David kind of like bumped into him in Martha's Vineyard and was like, hey, I cannot believe that you're a Republican.
Forget the friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.
Forget the multiple accusations of child rape.
When two people, when he, but when, when a Hollywood person, and I love Larry, he's a brilliant comedian, but it's just funny.
It's like, you know, you are in a little bit of a bubble, unless there's more to this, which we didn't hear, where he's, and maybe that's part of why he's grossed out by Dersh.
But like, you know, you're in a little bit of a bubble when somebody walk, you bump into an accused child rapist on Martha's Vineyard, and your biggest problem with them is that they're friends with the Trump team.
That seems odd.
Larry's a knee-jerk radical, Dershwitz on page six.
He takes his politics from Hollywood.
He doesn't read a lot.
He doesn't think a lot.
It's typical of what happens now in the Vineyard, says Dersch.
People who won't talk to each other if they don't agree on their politics.
Well, what about the child rape?
I love this.
He goes, it's the price of principle.
This guy is a, he's been involved in some very, very nefarious dealings, and he's probably done some horrible things.
And what's funny now is that he relishes this.
Every time somebody yells at him about being in the Trump circle, it helps him because what they're not yelling at him about is the credible accusations of child rape that he's also had large part of.
So like every interview he does, he's like, I'm just, they get mad at me because I believe in the Constitution.
It's like, that's not Alan.
You know that's not it.
I just watched, by the way, the People versus O.J. Simpson again, because it's on Netflix.
It's great.
And he's in that.
Not him, but an actor.
This is funny.
That was a great, go back to that photo.
It's the noted lawyer's long controversial career in Jeffrey Epstein, O.J. Simpson.
Mike Tyson.
Is that Limbaugh?
I believe so, yeah.
Might be Limbaugh's Trump.
I don't know.
This is a good article.
Alan Dershowitz, the article is devil's advocate.
I mean, he's an amazing lawyer, right?
I mean, we can't take that away from him.
Yeah, sure.
He's a great lawyer.
He'll be representing the Taliban soon.
The Taliban will have Alan Dershowitz, and he'll go, people are mad because I represented the Taliban.
That's why they're angry.
He's going to keep doing controversial things to take the heat off the whole Epstein thing.
If he was smart right now, he'd be in Afghanistan defending the Taliban so that people, you know, forget that he's been accused.
Ghislaine Maxwell's Mansion Sale00:03:44
And where is Ghislaine Maxwell's trial?
Just to check in on that piece of news.
See what's going on.
Where is she?
What's going on with Ghislaine?
How is this woman?
Yeah, they're trying to get Prince Andrew.
Yeah, trying.
The royal family may just hang him out to dry, huh?
I didn't think that was going to happen.
But it's very possible the royal family is all, Andrew, you know what?
We don't lock you that much anyway.
You're sort of odd.
You blink a lot.
You don't sweat.
Strange.
So the royal family, prosecutors asked judge to withhold the names of Ghislaine Maxwell's uncharged co-conspirators from her.
Meaning, go down here.
This is interesting.
Federal prosecutors urged a judge not to force them to provide Ghislaine Maxwell a complete list of her uncharged co-conspirators, urging that that disclosure risks, quote, harm to the government from restricting its proof at trial.
You wonder if she's going to try to have them whacked?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Although it's not required to do so, the government can state that as of the date of this letter, and although the government may change its view as it prepares for trial, it currently intends to introduce co-conspirator statements at trial from only two individuals.
Okay.
Maxwell asked to learn their identities earlier as one of the categories of information her defense team requested to avoid a trial by ambush.
She wants to know.
She goes, I have a right to know who's diming on me in open court.
I have a right to know so that those people can get threatened.
What's going on?
She goes, I should know who they are.
There is accordingly no significant risk that the defense will be surprised at trial by a profound, by a profusion of co-conspirators in their statements, even if the government identifies statements for use at trial from additional co-conspirators.
The letter says this court has twice concluded that no bill of particulars is warranted because the defendant has adequate information to prepare for trial and avoid unfair surprise.
Julie K. Brown at the Miami Herald, whose reporting has been widely credited with sparking Epstein and Maxwell's prosecutions, opined that transparency has been getting worse on the dockets.
Her public records battles in court led to the release of thousands of pages, which included the names of prominent men allegedly implicated in Epstein's conspiracy.
Despite that flood of documents, courts remain under pressure to keep more files under wraps and heavily redacted.
So it'll be interesting to see which how they go.
So push to November now was July.
Push to November.
Right in the height of the Delta storm.
Well, it'll be interesting.
I'm going to say that Maxwell gets like, look at this.
Ghislaine Maxwell reportedly sells house where alleged sex crimes occur.
She's offloaded her now notorious London home, 2.5 mil.
The Social United X of late pedophile Jeffrey Epstein had put her Muse house in the super exclusive Belgravia neighborhood on the market for $2.7 million.
Her spokesman first confirmed earlier this year.
It was finally bought by a property developer for around $2.42 million.
The house has long played a central role in her sex ring scandal.
Yeah.
Elon Musk's Kabul Memories00:10:51
And this is where Prince Andrew is photographed hugging his accuser when she was just 17.
Well, she dumped some real estate.
She needs money like everything else.
Like everybody else, she needs money.
And I'm sure.
Meanwhile, Maxwell will be sad about the sale of her London, quote, refuge because it held happy memories, her spokesman told the mail.
What's great is that these people forget like what they're on trial for and they have to pretend that none of it's real.
So they have to like release statements like that.
Well, it was a refuge, darling.
And there's many happy memories there.
So many happy memories that I just wouldn't miss it.
I'm sipping tea in the yard.
And so many happy memories of drugged up children running around.
You know, Prince Andrew chasing girls through the, through the hole, just chasing them through the corridor.
Yeah, she's still in Brooklyn.
Well, our tour rolls on, folks.
You know, assuming that I don't collapse from exhaustion, I'm getting stronger every day.
I did 20 minutes last night in Austin, Texas.
So we're at the Chicago improv in Schomburg.
And everyone's like, oh, it's not Chicago.
It's the suburbs.
Hey, man, that's where the seats are, right?
I'm already doing 10 fucking shows, which I shouldn't even be doing.
I, you know, I'm not going to be doing 30 fucking shows at Zaney's.
I need a bigger room.
So Schomburg improv, there are some tickets left because we've opened all of these up, I believe, at full cap.
Some of them say they're sold out.
I don't know, but let's see.
But it might be tickets.
Try to figure it out.
September 9th, Corpus Christie, Texas, Mesquite Street Comedy.
Okay.
September 23rd through the 25th, Baltimore, Maryland.
October 7th through the 9th, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Wednesday, October 20th through the 21st is Spokane, Washington.
And then there's a theater run that we're announcing too, the Beacon Theater Thursday, November 11th in New York.
That's going to be big.
And of course, our dates in San Diego got rescheduled because of COVID, which I said family emergency, but I knew, I knew I probably had COVID.
So I said it was a family emergency.
And then I finally got the test back and they're like, it's COVID.
But I was like, I can't go because it was saying negative, but I'm like, there's no way.
San Diego in December.
But the Beacon Theater is going to be the big one in New York.
Stand up live podcast.
It's really cool.
We've moved a lot of tickets already and we're very excited about it.
But all right, listen, let me go drink some fucking water with lime to get my throat going.
Patreon.com for the bonus episodes.
Support the products that we sell on the show.
It helps support us.
We appreciate you guys buying live tickets.
And then the merch will drop some new merch in December around the holidays.
We'll give you ample time for that.
We're not always trying to shove merch down your throat.
Fake business was awesome.
are happy with that seemingly.
And, you know, we're going to try to do something a little different in December, something smaller, maybe one or two items in December for those people that didn't grab the fake business stuff or want some other stuff.
The quality of the last merch drop was really high.
The hoodies and everything like that, there was some really cool stuff there.
And we're working on something that will have the same quality.
Perhaps we can bring down the price.
That's our hope in December because I know people are going to be buying a lot of different things, you know, socks from Cody Co or whatever.
So we just want to make sure that everybody can, we love Cody, buy everything from him, but we know you're spreading yourself out, you know.
So we're going to try to do something that is cost-effective.
And I do want to go to Afghanistan to do a benefit for the Women's Foundation.
The reason I'm not is because I get it, you know?
And I don't want to be left on a tarmac in Kabul because that's you got to really assess why you're doing what you're doing.
You have to really, truly, because everybody who does charity, real charity, should be prepared to be left on a tarmac in Kabul.
It shouldn't just be some dinner party in the Hamptons.
You should actually have to put your money where your mouth is and go to Kabul.
And it's not the worst thing.
Listen, a lot of those women that went over there, men, whoever, this will be a very interesting part of your life.
I truly believe that.
I believe it will be an interesting part of your life.
And I don't think that you should necessarily look at it as something negative.
I think you should look at it as a positive development, you know, because, you know, this is the way it is now.
And, you know, that's the thing.
Like, you know, the Taliban is the real version of the fascism that you people constantly moan about being here.
You know, our fascists are inept.
They're incapable.
They're drinking martinis in Florida.
They can't oppress you that much, although they'd love to, perhaps.
But the Taliban can.
They like have a real singular focus on creating a society that is sufficiently religious.
And they're going to do that.
And I hope everyone gets out.
I hope all the translators get out.
I hope all the people that were there to do charity get out.
But that seems unrealistic right now because you trusted the United States and you went to do a good thing.
But sometimes the price of doing a good thing is seeing it through.
And now you're going to have to see it through.
I would suggest go the other way.
If you are there to work for a woman's charity right now, go hard the other way.
I'm talking Burka, start whipping women in the street.
You're going to need to kind of, you are going to need to figure out how to ingratiate yourself with the leadership.
So if you were a translator and you could delete your history so they don't know who you are, you got to be the behander.
Wouldn't that be great if you went over to Afghanistan to help and now you're the behander?
You're just behanding thieves or people that maybe aren't thieves.
And you go, you know, I came over here.
I was working with a, you know, a teach Afghani children about capitalism thing.
And we were going to have Gary Vee come over and do a talk.
It was great.
We came over with a, you know, teach Afghanis about investment, teach Afghans about investment.
And we were teaching students how to be hustlers and grinders and start their own energy drink company.
But that all went bad.
I couldn't get out.
And now I'm the behander.
And I just, I just, I just lob people's hands off and they throw them in a bucket.
You know, it's a different hustle.
It's a different grind.
But ultimately, it's the same thing, right?
Isn't life simple?
Can't you just enjoy the simplicity of life?
I say this to all the women there now that we're Americans or whatever and all the people that are trapped.
Can't you just enjoy a simplified life?
Maybe you don't need Starbucks.
Just enjoy a simplified life.
Enjoy the simple pleasures of theocratic fascism, the real kind.
Yes, it's going to suck for a little bit, but adjustments are tough.
Change is never easy.
It's never easy.
I feel like them standing on the tarmac at fucking, what's this airport called?
Oh, in Kabul?
No, in Austin.
Oh, Austin Bergstrom?
Yeah.
Standing on the tarmac at Austin Bergstrom, waiting to leave, I, which I'm leaving in a few months.
I have a similar feeling, a similar feeling.
I'm one of the last ones out.
I'm going to be one of the last ones out.
And as I look out at the plane and I see people falling off it and I see just people running around with burkas, eating brisket, performing at comedy clubs that aren't comedy clubs.
You know, as I look at all those damned, doomed people just running through the drunken melee.
You know, I'm going to say to myself, we never should have invaded.
We never should have invaded.
Places have cultures and those cultures matter and they're resilient.
And the Austin, they're going to take it back.
They're going to take it back from Joe Rogan and Elon Musk.
Those drunken, savage animals, those complete failures, those thoughtless nothings are going to come back.
And it may take them 20 years.
I imagine it'll take them a lot less than that.
They're going to float on their rafts in that beer piss lake they all like and they're going to float right to shore and they're going to waddle off all coved up and brown recluse bit and they're gonna just walk in all drunk full of taco farts and they're gonna go.
My friend's got a show tonight.
He's in a bed and you're gonna look at these brainless zombies and go.
You know what?
This place is theirs, it's theirs.
It's not the tech people and it's not Joe's and it's not Elon's, it's none of that.
It is for those brainless zombies we never should have invaded.
But now we can make it right.
We can Get out and let them do what they're going to do, because the Austin Taliban will be back, and better than ever.