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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Traffic Delays and Late Starts00:02:12
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
A little squeeze here, starting a little late because someone was late.
Someone was a little late.
Do you have any defense for your tardiness?
The traffic was heavy.
I tried to be on time.
The traffic.
It's always something.
The traffic.
Well, you said we were going to record at three and then you moved it.
I was doing a thing with my wife.
Was that a thing?
You know, I mean...
I had to run from it.
You had to run from the thing you were doing.
Yeah, we your job.
There was a friend in Austin who was in town and we were.
You had to run from the friend to your job.
Well, you said we were going to record at four, then you moved it to three.
So I moved it.
Your job was moved.
And you had to leave.
Why don't you go back to the friend?
I think you should go back to your friend.
Go back, call your friend and say, go back to your friend.
Let's just do the show.
Let's you go back to your friend.
I think it's better for you to go back to your friend.
Seriously?
I'm dead serious.
Please go back to your friend.
Who's going to produce the show?
I'll figure it out.
I'll figure it out.
It's insane.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
A beautiful day in Austin, Texas.
A mass shooting downtown.
And in true Austin fashion, no one was killed.
13 people injured.
No one was killed.
This city cannot even do that right.
Amazing.
Have you learned your lesson?
Okay, moving on.
Big announcement to be made on the show.
And I don't usually say that because we don't usually have big announcements.
We have them rarely.
Mass Shooting in Austin00:14:30
And this announcement, I believe, will be shocking.
It will be stunning.
And I'm not a shock value comedian.
That's not what we do.
But this will be genuinely paradigm shifting.
It will move people genuinely, I believe.
And because it is so unexpected, there was never a hint.
You know, a lot of the things that happen here, there's some foreshadowing elements, but not this.
This is out of the blue, as they say.
It's coming out of the blue.
It is completely, utterly without any preconceived.
This is just happening organically.
It just, it's really, it's shaken me to my core, the announcement I'm about to make, because I understand how big of a deal it's going to be to people and how much it's going to throw them off.
And I want to do it with care and I want to prepare them.
And I want to take the utmost care and caution with an announcement of this gravity because there's gravity here.
This is real.
It's hard to even say.
It's hard to vocalize.
It's hard to get out of my mouth.
It's hard to.
Ben, why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?
What's funny about this?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Five months ago, Ben's wife told us she was having an affair with Joe Rogan.
It was uncomfortable.
We respect and love Joe.
He's incredibly generous.
Nobody has done more for comics than Joe.
No one.
But even that being the case, it was still tough to hear that Ben's fiancé, his wife, was having sex with Joe, who had been so good to both of us.
It put us in a very difficult position.
His wife then informed us that she was going to keep the affair going.
And in order to do that, we needed to move to Austin, Texas so she could continue to have sex with Joe.
Ben, being a good husband, dutifully agreed, and he came to me and he said, Katie wants to keep having sex with Joe Rogan.
Do you think we should move to Austin to make it easier for her so that she doesn't have to keep flying?
And I agreed.
I said yes.
So Ben's wife has been carrying on an affair with Joe.
Even the morning of their nuptials, they got married, but in the morning of that day, she was having sexual congress with Joe Rogan.
And she told Ben that at the wedding in front of a few of us.
She had had a few drinks.
And she said, I just want you to know I fucked Joe this morning.
Now, something happened.
There was a disagreement.
I don't know what happened.
We're not privy to that information.
And I don't want to speculate.
But Ben's wife has ceased her affair with Joe.
She has stopped.
She is no longer having an affair with Joe.
She is back to sleeping with Ben.
Now, it is awkward living in Austin, Texas.
So the announcement is as follows.
Because of Ben's wife and only Ben's wife, it is time to leave Austin, Texas.
The Tim Dillon show will be leaving Austin, Texas.
In all seriousness, because what I was just saying was a joke, I hope, for your sake.
It is a joke, right?
I think so, yeah.
In all seriousness, we came down here because the quarantine had warped everybody's minds.
I had moved from L.A. to Palm Springs.
I spent a lot of time in the desert alone in 120-degree weather.
And then I went on the road a lot, too, and I did a lot of stand-up, did comedy during the craziest period in the history of this country, maybe to do comedy during a pandemic with the most contentious presidential election.
I did comedy the night Donald Trump was put into the hospital with COVID.
I mean, this was fucking wild.
Those shows were wild doing them.
And we did them.
We did them to go out and to make money, to see fans, to do it as carefully as we could to keep ourselves mentally healthy and keep people mentally healthy and keep people working that worked at comedy clubs.
And we did them distance and we did them outdoors and we did them.
And then Joe, who we love and respect, said, I'm moving to Texas.
And it came at a time when L.A. was particularly bleak and nothing was open.
And I had never loved Austin.
I had gone here and I've done South by Southwest.
I've done the Moontower Comedy Festival, but Austin to me always felt like Brooklyn.
It was fun, but it was, yeah, a lot of hipsters and the food was good.
A little one note.
It's barbecue.
We get it.
Great Mexican food as well.
But it was a college town.
It was a small city.
This was not a world-class city.
It just was not.
And I hadn't been here for a while and I didn't know.
And I moved here because I felt like I needed something new and that something new would be good.
And yes, the taxes are better.
And yes, there are benefits to not being in L.A.
And yes, L.A. has a host of problems.
But I moved here because first and foremost, I said, something new will be good.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
The city of Austin, Texas is a city in the realm of the artistic or whatever for people who have left New York or LA or never had the guts to go to New York or L.A.
It's for people who've never figured out a way to make their art or whatever commercially viable.
And they should have a city.
Those people should have a place to get drunk at 2 a.m., to get high, to eat brisket.
They should have it.
It's their culture.
Do not force them to be productive members of society.
It shouldn't happen.
That's the culture of Austin of the slacker, the near-do-well, always has been, always will be.
A few exceptions, Mike Judge, Richard Linkletter, but the vast majority of Austin, quite proudly, is a culture of not making it, not doing it for whatever reason.
So when Joe wants to create a comedy hub here, God bless him, but he's fighting against a current and cultures matter.
And this culture has been around for a very long time.
And I have no interest in colonizing a city and making people, making it into a great comedy city.
I don't care.
The tech people are moving here.
They'll have 3D printed brisket.
They'll have, you know, the house values will go up.
I bought a home here.
I'll rent it or I'll keep it.
And I'm not worried about that.
I think it's a great real estate move.
I'm speaking solely about comedy and me and this show.
It is not the move.
Austin has many of the problems of Los Angeles.
A lot of the homeless people.
There was a mass shooting last night.
13 people got injured, not shot, not killed.
Of course not.
Even the mass shooters in Austin can't get it done.
And the cops didn't even find the guy.
He's running around here.
On the loose.
He's on the loose.
We got a mass shooter on the loose.
It could be any one of our friends.
We should call the tip line and just read off my Instagram, the people I'm following.
But we love Joe.
We respect him.
When Joe has a club, I'll come back here and work at that club and be excited to do so.
But I just could not get in a groove with this city.
I tried, not really, but I gave it some effort.
I gave it, you know.
I've been downtown four or five times.
That's enough.
That's enough.
The first time I went down there, homeless people were throwing bottles at us as we walked out of the Creek in the Cave.
People are being killed at night.
The homeless are just going up and murdering comedians.
And I don't even know, am I against that?
I'm put in this weird position of having to care about a city that I've never cared about.
And I can, in good conscience, do that.
I only want to be funny.
I only want to really affect people with what we do.
I don't give a fuck about Austin.
I love Texas.
I love the areas around Austin are beautiful.
I like Dallas and Houston and Fort Worth.
And the audiences are great.
But I don't care what happens to the comedy community of Austin, Texas.
I don't care.
It has been forever a community of sloth-like people.
Truly, slugs.
Slugs.
And they should have it.
It should be for them.
Joe Rogan could walk around here and ask people, be like, hey, why don't you write more?
Shouldn't you work out?
It's not going to work because they're losers to the bone.
These people are losers to the fucking bone.
The stench of human failure in this city is so that you cannot breathe.
You cannot inhale oxygen because the stench of human failure infects all of the air.
It is a grotesquery here.
They do not know how to run a city.
The food is shit.
There's two places that make good barbecue and they're not Terry Blacks.
It's Franklin and the Barbecue and it's nine hours line.
So a blue-haired tattooed lesbian can give you an attitude when you say, can I add a sandwich to that?
People come here to get married like this fool because it's cheap and you can get married in some raft.
You could float down a dirty river and get Down syndrome drunk and take photos to put on your Facebook.
He did have a beautiful wedding, but the point is this.
My point still stands.
This is the bachelorette capital of the South.
It's drunk pig women and men that have an itchy trigger finger just trying to shoot people dancing around 6th Street drunk.
These people are out of their fucking minds.
It's a fucking rodeo of fat bitches and school shooters.
Everybody eating at the trough.
It has nothing to do with music.
Can we say that now?
Can you hear it loud and clear?
This town has nothing to do with music.
There are heroin addicts that occasionally do melodious things on the street.
While they're, after they take a shit in the street, they play, I don't know, you are my sunshine or something.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
It's nothing.
It's less than nothing here.
There is no seafood.
There is no fish.
There is one sushi restaurant that Joe Rogan mentioned, and now you can't get in until 2027.
Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey, I don't give a fuck.
I don't care that a couple of white demon celebrities live here.
Shut your white mouth.
What's funny about that is that I've been very critical of the critical race theory, and yet I find in times it is important to have in the pocket.
This is what it is.
Celebrity Culture Chaos00:11:55
I tried.
I played pickleball with a few psychopaths.
We met a few tech people.
We met a few people who, when you looked in their eyes, you realized that trouble was brewing.
We met some of the masters of the universe, not the bankers, some of the, you know, Silicon Valley cultists who are colonizing the area, who are here because of no state income tax and their love of baked beans.
Some of the libertarian wing of the tech movement.
Some lovely people, maybe not too bad.
Don't hate any of them.
I like being afraid for my life during the afternoon.
I like that.
I don't think facial expressions are necessary.
I like people that keep you on your toes.
But it's time to go.
And I don't want to discourage anyone else from moving here.
It may be your destiny to come here.
Many of you will be happier floating down a river, which by the way, I tried to go to the swimming hole.
You have to make a reservation for the swimming hole.
You can't even jump in the fucking lake without a reservation or the creek or the crick, whatever you call it.
I've had about enough.
I've had about enough.
I can't work on Caitlin Jenner's campaign long distance.
I have to be there.
I gave it four months and I'm not going anywhere immediately.
The summer I'm touring and then in the fall I start to look and who knows where we end up next.
Maybe we end up in Dorado, Puerto Rico with the Pauls and Peter Schiff.
Here's to hoping.
But it's time to go.
There was a mass shooting last night.
13 people were injured outside the Vulcan gas company.
The venue of the moment.
It's time to go.
I love Joe.
Joe's been more generous to comics.
He's done so much for us.
We don't deserve it.
He deserves happiness.
Go and be happy.
And if he opens a club, I will come down here and work it and be thrilled to do so.
But right now, it is time to go.
This has been a fun experiment.
The quarantine has been very interesting.
I've made and lost friends.
I've made bad decisions.
I've made good decisions.
We've all done wild things.
We've put ourselves into situations we never thought we'd be in.
And we've taken ourselves out of situations we never thought we would get out of.
Our minds melted.
We, you know, kind of went through the looking glass.
It was an acid trip without having to take the acid.
And it was not a good one.
One.
It was a bad one.
It was good for us.
It was good for certain people.
You know?
But the reality is that is over now.
And for some people, it'll never be over.
They'll keep the masks on.
Whatever.
Let him do it.
Fine.
It's fine.
But it is now time to leave.
And, you know, it's going to be a little tough for Ben.
Ben will fly and do the show every week.
And you'll have to really kind of talk to your wife because it's going to be difficult.
But we've suggested gaslighting her into making her believe she made us move here.
That's an F. That's an option.
You haven't told her yet.
No, I will before we put this out.
You have not told her.
I have not told her.
Anything.
No, not yet.
I told you you're renting your house out that you bought, but that's it.
Did she ask why?
She just, I just said that you were going to make like money on the income from the thing and be cash positive.
Did she say where would he live?
I said he was just thinking about extending his rental here.
So you lied.
Yeah.
So you made it, you made something up.
So far, we're lying.
We're in the lying stage.
What does she want to do?
Go downtown and get a bottle thrown at her head.
Is that what she wants to do?
Does she want to go play the accordion downtown and get raped with a bottle, a glass bottle to her neck?
It's chaos down there.
It's utter hell and chaos.
It's chaos down there.
Okay?
It's a horror.
LA's big enough.
Austin's not that big.
Austin's like seven square blocks, and two of them are hell.
Two of them are Fallujah.
It's crazy.
So what?
So to do what?
So you can eat it fucking, you know, Miss Vicki's brisket house.
Who gives a fuck?
Can we get the fuck out of here, please?
Can we get the fuck out?
What the fuck were we thinking?
Can we get the fuck out of here, please?
Do I want pickles and onions?
No, give me a ticket.
I'm leaving.
I'm leaving.
Get the tattoo off your neck, white demon.
I've had enough of a white homeless kids.
I'm out.
We're out of here.
Burn it to the ground.
Sorry.
The truth hurts, as Elizo has said.
There's parts of it that are nice.
There's parts of it that are beautiful.
Not the city, the outskirts.
And those will be the parts that get nice.
It's a Marin County thing here.
They let San Francisco go to shit and the surrounding area went skyrocketing.
That's what's going to happen here.
That's what I believe.
But I believe comedically, artistically, for me, for you, for this show, for the future of what we have to do, this city has tested me.
It really has.
I don't get it.
I don't get the charm here.
I don't get what everybody else gets.
I don't get what's fun about five fat, drunk bitches from Nashville on 6th Street, drunk and falling down, shoving and then getting in a tub of macaroni and cheese.
I don't get it.
Look at the band.
You want to hear the band?
Not good.
We've covered it all.
We did the tech shit.
We had lunch with a few people.
We did a few shows.
They were decent.
They were fine.
It's time to get out.
I didn't even want to do Moontower.
She didn't ask me to do that.
I don't want to do any of it.
South by, I want out of this town for a long time, for a goddamn long time here.
I want out of this town.
And I may rent the house, may just keep it.
It's fine.
It's a beautiful little thing to have.
It's not that expensive.
It's not.
I didn't go nuts and buy a crazy thing.
So it's all going to work out.
But I mean, we do have to tell, we do have to tell your wife, and then I'll have to give you guys a bunch of money, which I have no problem doing.
But, you know, it's unfortunate.
What do you feel about this?
Be very honest here.
Because you got excited to come back to Texas and it started worrying me because you and your wife started going to see fiddle players and you're like, oh, you should come see the fiddle player with us.
And I got very nervous because I said, this is everything you left to not be.
Somebody, some fucking...
Some guy sitting in a field listening to a fiddle player.
I don't like the golf courses here.
I don't like the food.
Well, that's nice.
You don't like the golf here.
Not at all.
What is the problem with it?
I don't like Link-style courses.
Right.
I like a Nicholas-designed course in LA somewhere.
Right.
Shut up.
No one cares.
But it's important that there are things you also don't like.
The food's trash.
It's not good.
It's trash.
The people, the people.
It's like if every witch from a Disney movie got fat.
It's like, what happens to Maleficent if she starts a podcast and eats 14 sandwiches a day and dyes her hair blue?
She lives in Austin.
Fat people should at least be talented.
Headlight on their feet.
Jackie Gleason, yours truly, not these lumbering, soulless fucking vessels just barking at people.
That's ableist.
They got to go.
And I wish everyone the best here.
I do.
I wish everyone the best.
I cannot stress that enough because as somebody who's invested in Austin real estate, it is a great place to live.
And that's what people forget is that it is a great city.
It's a great American city.
And I have a lot of hope for the future of Austin.
And I love it here.
And to leave kills me because the food is great, as we've talked about.
And the people are great.
And I like it.
You know what I mean?
It's not that bad, yeah.
No, not at all.
So if you're thinking of coming here and renting or buying, it's the place.
It's the move.
Because what I like about it is you have a good balance of nature and then also a thriving, vibrant metropolis.
When you go to Austin, there's always something to do.
Get followed by a homeless guy on the way to go get a taco from a Dodge Durango that's parked because everybody eats food here out of a truck.
You could do that.
You could catch a stray bullet on 6th Street while walking back to your Uber that doesn't show up.
And if it does, we'll kidnap you.
There's a lot of benefits to this city.
Okay?
So I don't want to scare anyone away from it.
I have to be...
But this is a big announcement.
It's a big announcement.
It's a big deal.
The fact that we're moving to Dorado with Peter Schiff and the Pauls.
No, we're not.
We're not going to Dorado.
We're going and we're staying.
The next place we go, which is California, we're staying.
We're going to Los Angeles.
We're staying.
We're going to stick it out.
It is what it is.
I mean, at the end of the day, we really tried here.
I tried.
People said it was going to last four months and it lasted about four months.
And I'm not leaving immediately.
I'm on tour.
I'm on the road.
I've got things to do.
Okay.
IRS.
I'm here this year.
I'm here this year.
But next year, you know, and the fall, you know, it's like, it's tough.
And I know that you and your wife are happy here because the dogs have a yard.
They're going to have a yard in Los Angeles too.
The dogs are disgusting.
I mean, one of them has three legs.
None of it matters.
So it's all good.
I know it's going to be a tough discussion to have.
Are you nervous about it?
No, no.
Katie's ride or die.
I understand that.
Yeah, yeah.
And she was riding Joe.
Is there a way we need to gaslight her into thinking that she made us move here because she has a crush on Joe?
But we need to leave.
There's nothing else to be said about it.
I'm not performing at your bachelorette party.
No.
I'm not doing that.
No.
I don't care about your wedding.
It's a college town without that many college kids.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, I just have to go.
Sorry.
I apologize.
You know, at the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for the people that live here.
Real Struggles vs Party Cities00:04:05
I hope that it's only a flesh wound.
That's what I'll say.
But it's not for me.
I must go now.
I must go back to an underprivileged area called Beverly Hills.
Where people are real and they struggle.
You understand?
Where people have real jobs.
Like, I'm a sex slave slash assassin slash PA on blackish.
Real jobs.
Real people.
Real America.
I'm not excited to go back to California.
There's a whole host of issues there, which Caitlin Jenner will hopefully cure.
But it's time to go.
It's time to leave Austin, Texas.
The faces of the people.
The faces of the people.
The insects that crawl.
God bless people trying to make this into something.
God.
I mean, picture.
Picture someone you know who's been a disaster their entire life.
Drunk, drug addict, in and out of rehab thief.
Just the worst person.
Maybe not a horrible soul, but just steps on rakes their entire life.
Can't seem to get it going.
And then imagine the most, the winner, the most productive person you know, the most productive human being you've ever met, wins every game, gets the hot check, gets the money, is a nice person, genuinely deserves it, is generous.
That person that you know, the winner, the alpha, the winner, now is bringing the fat drug addict thief out and going, this is the goal.
This is the goal.
And you're going, but they're a fat drug addict thief who I'm pretty sure like looks up things on the dark web.
And the winner goes, no, They're good.
It's a much better, they're a much better quality of person.
And you go, oh, I don't think so.
And the person is screaming.
As the winner goes, no, no, no, this person is good.
The person is screaming, no, I'm a fat mess.
I like it.
I don't like good.
I hate good.
I never want to be good.
Ah, food falls down on the floor, starts pissing themselves.
Heroin shooting heroin, their fat arm like, ah.
And then the winner is like, that's pretty cool.
And you go, what?
You go, no, that's pretty cool.
That's a pretty cool.
We wish everyone the best.
We wish everyone the best here.
And I'm just hoping that it's made me realize a lot of things living here.
And culture really matters.
The culture of a city matters.
Miami's a party.
Never turn Miami in anything that's not a party.
How dare you.
New Orleans is also a fun party.
Why ever turn that in?
New York is a hectic race to nothing.
Leave it be that.
Let it be this hectic frenetic pace to eventual, you know, death.
But they like that.
It's necessary.
It sharpens people.
It molds them into something.
10 of them.
The rest of them, who cares?
But LA is a den of sociopaths, narcissists, people that it's fake on a level.
It's so fake, it's real.
You're just talking to human volcanoes as they stuff avocado toast down their genetically engineered throats into their plastic bodies.
Life Stories After Violence00:04:22
And then they go vomit it up.
It's important.
Just like New York is important, just like Miami is important, just like Austin being the den of failures is important, being a place for losers, a place for those fat bachelorettes to feel like they're going to the big city.
Big mama's in the city now.
She's got her brisket, and she's going to take a shot of SoColime.
And then they're going to play her a song, which is up by Cardi B.
And she's just going to be like, and her brain, her useless brain is just going to bounce around in her head and she's going to go and just this mass of flesh, this total waste of resources, just gyrating like a pig in the middle of the street while all her friends look at her and go, I can't believe she's getting married.
This thing is getting married.
And she's going to gyrate in the street because this is her three days to get really fucked up before she has to go back to checking elderly people in for the hysterectomies.
And she's just like, it's up and it's up and it's up and up.
And then some mass shooter is going to come out and he's going to see this person going, and this mass shooter is going to look at her and go, you know, this mass shooter is going to say, I'm sorry, Joe Rogan.
I'm sorry, comedy.
I've got a bit too.
And he's going to fire wildly into the crowd like a monster.
Like a monster.
Not good.
Not condoning this.
And he's going to hit this fatty and it will barely stop her.
She'll just, she'll feel it.
And she'll still, she'll get a little up and it's up and it's up.
And then her friends will have to go, you've been shot.
And then they put her on the gurney.
And then they bring her to the hospital and then they extract this piece of metal out of her fucking pulled pork-filled flesh.
They extract this bullet from her and she's like, and then her fiancé calls her and goes, I love you.
Are you okay?
And she goes, I am okay.
I love you.
And then she's got a story for the rest of her life.
She's got a story for the rest of her life.
And then she goes on a little bit of workman's comp, little disability, can't go back to work.
And then she goes back in a few years to that place in Austin.
She goes back there to see where a guy shot her in the leg while she was gyrating to a Cardi Bees up, which they won't play anymore.
This will be years later.
She'll have two fat jalapeno pauper-sized children and her husband who tries to drink himself into a grave every night and sometimes damn near succeeds.
And they'll get out of whatever Uber or witch vehicle Austin permits at that time.
And they'll get out and she'll go, that's where mommy got shot.
And they'll take a photo where she got shot.
They'll take a photo where that bullet ripped through her fucking flesh and she'll make it her profile picture and she'll have some quote.
She'll have some quote about that, how life is about appreciating the little things.
And she won't be a her quote because she's fucking retarded.
So she'll take it off some lifetime movie of the week or some magnet she saw at a friend's home where she was getting juiced before her kids got home from school.
And she'll put that quote up and there'll be a photo of where mommy got shot on 6th Street.
And that is all this fucking city will ever be burn.
Barry Weiss, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh yeah, Barry.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show exclusive.
People were angry with me last week for my one-sided segment on Israel and Palestine with, of course, journalist Abby Martin, who took a decidedly anti-Israel view, as is her right.
Israel Palestine Conflict Debate00:15:00
And so we wanted to find somebody who would come on and present the other side.
And we have Barry Weiss, who has, among other things, a very good sense of humor.
And she is here with us to present, I would imagine, probably quite a different view from what Abby has presented.
We're here from the Bitcoin conference in Miami.
Barry, by the way, thank you for coming on and having a good sense of humor.
We do give you a hard time every now and then, but we do appreciate that you're willing to come on the show.
We think that's a good thing.
Well, the Mossad gave me a special dispensation to be here.
They're big fans.
Big, big fans.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
I'm sure they are.
So my first question for you would be, what are we getting wrong, right?
Like the narrative that is coming out that most people are seeing is that you have two groups that are not matched in any real way, not in military might, not in economic power, not in any type of power.
You have Israel, which is a strong military.
And you have Palestine, which is, I believe, 2 million or so people living in a small area that don't really have the military capable of having what seems to be, it doesn't look like a fair fight, right?
It seems like you have one side.
Now, all these words are being thrown out like apartheid and genocide and things like that.
What is mainstream narratives getting wrong?
Because it does seem this last conflict, the mainstream narrative seems to have switched a little bit, where people are now seemingly more sympathetic to what's going on in Palestine.
And the way I've always looked at it, it seems like a very untenable, unsustainable situation, right?
It seems like that.
I'm sure that the pro-Israel people recognize that.
People that don't agree with things Israel has done recognize that.
But what are people getting wrong about this?
When we see the bombing of Palestine, when we see children being harmed, when we see that Palestinians are unable to access medical supplies or clean water or things like that, what about that?
Are we not kind of what are we missing?
So, I think two things: one is history, and the second is really the aperture of the lens that you're using to look at the conflict with.
So, let's start with the second thing, which is if you're looking at the Israeli-Palestinian conflict like this, you're going to see exactly to some extent, Tim, what you just described.
You're going to see Israel as the Goliath that has the military power, et cetera, and you're going to see Palestinians as having the less strong hand.
But if you widen out and zoom out with your lens, what you're going to see is an entire region filled with something like 22 Arab and Muslim nations and a Jewish state, the only Jewish state in the world that is smaller than New Jersey.
That state surrounded on all sides, the Abraham Accords aside, and we can get into that by people that don't seek its borders to be shifted, but that fundamentally seek its destruction.
I think the thing that people fundamentally get wrong is that they think that this is a conflict fundamentally about borders.
It is not a conflict about borders, it is a conflict about whether or not Israel has a right to exist.
It is a conflict about Zionism and anti-Zionism.
It's a conflict about whether Jews, like every other people, has a right to self-determination, in this case in their native land, or whether or not they don't.
That is what the conflict is about: whether or not Jews can have any presence in the region of the Middle East at all.
That's what this conflict is about.
And so, to go back kind of to, you know, to go back, I watched the Abby Martin clip, and of course, I, you know, defend her sacred right to say that 9-11 was an inside job and everything else that she says.
But well, there's a lot about 9-11 we don't know, whether it's an inside job or not.
I mean, there's a lot we don't know.
We covered for Saudi Arabia for years.
Then we said we released a 9-11 commission report.
The people on the 9-11 commission report said it was set up to fail.
I mean, these are direct quotes.
So, I mean, it's not, I understand that no one's saying Jews did 9-11 or whatever.
I know some people are.
Well, some people are.
Some people are.
But there's a lot we don't know.
There's a lot we weren't dealt with, honestly, about 9-11.
We went and attacked Iraq, you know?
So, okay.
Well, okay, that was a throwaway line.
I understand what you mean.
Like, yeah, what I meant to say is that, you know, everyone has the right to their own positions, but I'm not going to sit here and listen while people spew lies.
And there's a giant lie that's being told right now about Israel, and it has incredible power right now, especially on the far left.
And that lie goes like this: the Jews are white people.
They're ethno-colonialist nationalists who dropped into a foreign exotic land with which they have no connection.
And since 1948, when they plopped into this land, they have systematically taken that land from the indigenous brown population of Palestinians.
And indeed, more than that, they are bloodthirsty, they are warmongers, and they won't stop until they've emiserated the people around them.
And the problem with this is that absolutely none of it is true.
It is a fantasy projection created by people with small brains who have an attention span the length of a TikTok video.
You know, the Jews aren't, let's start with the Jews aren't white.
The Jews are from the Middle East.
The Jews go back to the Middle East for 3,000 years.
That is the reality.
The Jewish people precedes the modern conceptions that we have of race and of religion.
Okay, they were a tribe.
They were the Judeans.
They were the Judaites living in Judea.
And the Jewish presence in what we now call the land of Israel or the Palestine, that goes back all the way back to that period way before Jesus was ever around.
The Jews themselves were colonized, speaking of colonization.
They were colonized by the Romans.
They were colonized by the Byzantines.
They were colonized by the Crusaders, by the Ottomans, and finally by the British.
And, you know, just to give people a little bit of historical perspective, what is Palestine?
What is that name?
The Romans renamed the region Syria Palestina after the Philistines to kind of give a middle finger to the Jews that they had pushed out as a way of punishing the Jews because the Philistines were their mortal enemy.
So it's like, you know, when Israel sort of miraculously, and I think this is what makes it such a hard story for people to understand, most indigenous populations are screwed over.
They never get a chance to return to their land.
But Israel got that chance after the Holocaust in 1948, 1947, 1948.
And basically the UN comes to the Jewish people and says, we are, and the Arabs living in the region, and says, here is the partition plan.
Essentially, the Jews get half, the Muslims get half, not the Muslims.
The Jews get half, the Arabs get half.
And the Jews said, great.
And their motivation for saying great was they weren't going to get anything else.
And in totally realpolitik terms, it makes sense that the Palestinians said no, but then they said no again after every single offer to split the land.
And I think that that is really what it's about in the end.
Do Jews have any right to have any self-determination in any piece of their indigenous land or not?
And by the way, it's not to say that, you know, given that like little history that I just swept you through, the Crusades and everything else, like, is there a long-standing Palestinian connection to the land and Muslim connection to the land?
Yes.
Of course there is.
Is there a longstanding Christian connection?
Of course there is.
The question is only, do we also acknowledge that the Jews have a connection to that land or not?
And that to me is what everything is about.
Is there room for an argument or a debate where people say we completely understand Israel's right to exist?
We support Israel's right to exist, but the expansive nature of a lot of the policies and maybe Netanyahu himself as being somebody who is, you know, has certainly put more of a right-wing face on policies and the bulldozing of the settlements and evicting people from their homes.
Is there a space for people to argue, like, listen, we think Israel should exist, but as a as a exp, I think, because when you say colonial power, I think part of what gives that argument credence in people's minds is that the borders of Israel don't seem to be fixed.
They constantly seem to keep expanding and Israel keeps evicting people from their homes.
And there is that, that is what most people regard as a colonial, you know, posturing from Israel.
It's not like, okay, here are the borders and we're done.
And I'm sure it's, you know, there's some complexities there, but that's why, like you said, people are saying, oh, Israel is a colonial state, but it seems like they're not finished, like the borders aren't, you know, rock solid, that they're expanding and taking more and more territory.
And some people fear that they want all the territory.
Right.
So is there a space to criticize Bibi Netanyahu?
100%.
I'll do it right now.
I did it often in the pages of the New York Times.
Is there a place to oppose settlements and settlement expansion in the West Bank?
Of course, I oppose them.
I do that all the time.
What this is about, again, is fundamental existence.
And let me just give you an example of that.
In 2005, Israel pulled out every single Jew, every single Israeli that lived in the Gaza Strip, every single one, left all of the infrastructure, the hot houses behind, etc.
What happens then?
It's not that there is a flourishing, you know, Singapore in the Gaza Strip.
Could have been possible.
Tons of money flowed into Gaza.
Instead, what there is, is a piece of land in proximate, in rocket proximity to the center of Israel, run by a group that says in its charter that their goal is not two states, that their goal is to exterminate every single Jew.
This is from their charter.
There is no solution to the Palestinian question except through jihad.
The day of judgment will not come about until the Muslims fight Jews and kill them.
Then the Jews will hide behind the rocks and trees and the rocks and trees will cry out, oh Muslim, there's a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill them.
That's not just in the founding.
It's also in these videos that I pulled for you that I don't think many people see.
So maybe we want to play the one about with the Hamas senior official talking about.
We'll do that now and we'll add that in post.
We want to hear you, dear people, in the Middle East.
With the Jews, all the Jews are on the ground.
Five people to take care of them.
Five people to take care of the country.
Do not find a burden of people for those who believe.
The Jews and those who fear them.
The Jews, the Jews, the Jews.
And now they are responsible.
Great.
And then...
And then there's a second video where the mother of a Palestinian martyr, as they would call him, talks about the Jews and says, may their hearts be ripped out.
may their eyes be gouged out.
So that is what happened when Israel pulled out of the Gaza Strip.
Now you have the situation where Israel is occupying the West Bank.
And it's a horrible situation.
And I oppose it.
The problem is, is that just from a purely like existential perspective, given what happened when Israel pulled out of the Gaza Strip, there is an understandable fear.
And if you want to understand why so many Israelis feel torn about this, their fear is, okay, what happens if we pull out of the West Bank and there is another Hamas terrorist state lit at our other border and the midpoint of Israel is like a mile wide.
That's an existential problem.
And so you have a tension where obviously continuing to occupy another people that, you know, like I believe in a two-state solution.
I believe in the Palestinian right to self-determination, just as I believe in the Jewish one, period.
But you have to understand where that fear is coming from and why Israel doesn't just unilaterally pull out of the West Bank as they did in Gaza, you know, 15 years ago.
Right.
Why was why was the PLO, like Israel and the PLO had so many issues?
It seemed like the PLO was kind of this secular option, right?
In terms of, you know, of the different factions of people that Israel could negotiate with.
Why was Israel kind of demonizing the PLO?
Is there a hope again that, because when you say the other side is Hamas, I don't know if Hamas represents all Palestinians, right?
Oh, no, no.
Let me be extremely clear.
The Palestinians in Gaza are living under Hamas occupation.
Understood, but right, but isn't that because they can't leave and it's not a functional state.
So there's nothing.
Let me just finish that.
I want to be like super clear about in the same way that I would make a distinction between the Chinese Communist Party and the average Chinese person.
Right.
Of course, I would make a distinction between, you know, dictatorial totalitarian leaders who throw gay people off buildings.
Right.
And like, and actual people who live in miserated lives because of them.
And the average Palestinian, what do I think they want?
I think they want a good life.
I think they want the exact same thing that anyone else wants.
BDS Coalition Perspectives00:15:19
Of course, I think.
Yeah.
My question is like, who can Israel negotiate?
I mean, now I guess it is Hamas, but how can there be any like there's a ceasefire now?
Netanyahu's out.
There's a new government being formed now.
Yeah, is there a new what?
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
It's hard to like read you with the glasses.
I was going to say there's this new coalition government with an Arab party in the coalition.
Like this is a historic thing that's just happened in Israel for the first time ever.
This Ramah party, I think it's called.
And do you think is the hope that there will be, you know, something in the in the way of a two-state solution being discussed?
Because that seems the only possible solution you have.
Yes.
And I think love Trump or hate Trump.
The reality is, did anyone 10 years ago ever think that Israel would sign a historic peace offer with countries like Qatar and the UAE and Saudi Arabia?
That there would be flights from Tel Aviv to Abu Dhabi.
Like the world is changing.
The region is changing.
And I think what's happening increasingly, you know, whatever you think of those countries is that Israel is increasingly being accepted, like that it's not going away.
And that's the key to peace.
If the, if Palestinian leadership can accept that Israel is just not going to go away, it's not going to erase itself out of existence.
That's where peace comes.
And I think you see that.
And to me, like that was an enormously huge seismic shift that happened in the Middle East.
The fact of this new coalition government, the fact that, you know, like 20%, and I'm not sure people understand this, 20% of Israeli citizens are Israeli Arabs or Palestinians.
Like 22% of Israel's MIT, the technion, is made up of Israeli Arabs.
They're in Knesset.
They win reality TV shows.
Like this is such a, like there is just such a gap between reality and the kind of things that you see from Bella Hadid's Instagram feed about what's actually going on there.
And frankly, I would love to take you, maybe, maybe Abby Martin would want to come too to give people a sense of what's really happening there.
Because like so many things in the legacy press, there's just an enormous gap between reality and this kind of like American parochial fantasy projection.
Understood.
And I'm sure that it is reality shows being one and it is all love and light.
But when you shell, when you shell the Associated Press building, I mean, that's not a great thing, right?
Can we agree with that?
Shelling anything is tragic.
Killing people.
Yes.
What do you, of course?
Right.
But it's, it's, especially that it's a press building and it seems like you have a country trying to intimidate the press when they do that.
Tim, Tim, Israel's had to shell hospitals.
Israel's had to shell schools.
Why?
Because Hamas's strategy is for innocent people to get killed.
I know that it's very hard for like coddled American brains to understand this, but like it is not Hamas's goal to protect its population.
It's Hamas's goal to let its people suffer and die.
That is why it launches rockets from literally inside hospitals and kindergartens.
Right.
That's that's the reality.
And so like, what do you do?
Right.
If you are, and Israel has gone to like insane degrees to try and mitigate against innocent people getting killed, but it's, it's horrible.
And there, and it's like you look at the stories of these children and it's, it's, it's horrible.
There's like, there's no full stop.
That's it.
But it's like, we have to look at why they're in that situation.
Right.
Well, I mean, it's, it's, it's tough.
I hope that there's some solution to it that, you know, upholds the dignity of people.
I mean, when you see the way that people are living in Palestine, that's not, I think, a sustainable thing.
And most people, I think, looking at this would say it's not sustainable, you know?
And I completely agree with you.
That's why I support a two-state solution.
That's why I think that the sooner Palestinian leadership can accept Israel's existence, the closer we'll get to peace.
Why don't the Christians go back?
I mean, didn't we, I mean, isn't this time to start listening to the Christians, my people?
Is it not time to start?
You're ready for another crusades?
I am a little bit.
I mean, don't we think it's time now to realize that the other religions have had a time, but the Christians are kind of still the, we're the, we're the ones.
You guys are the kings.
Well, I mean, am I wrong?
That seems, I mean, we've never done it.
The Christians, we just behave.
We have dinner.
Yeah.
I mean, I think you need to go back to your crusader history.
Here's what I'll say.
I mean, this is, again, like one of those stories that's enormous and that no one has talked about.
There has been a systemic purge of Christians from the Middle East over the past several days.
Yes, Coptic Christians in Egypt.
Yes, I know that.
Yes.
There's like no Christians left in the Middle East.
You know where there's Christians?
In Israel.
Palestinian Christians.
There's no Christians in Gaza.
So again, as imperfect as Israel is, I think people need to have a little perspective when it's not.
It's clearly a more tolerant society to live in.
That's a fact.
And where are people who are fleeing gays, fleeing persecution in the West Bank going for refuge?
They're going to Tel Aviv.
They're going to Israel.
Right.
So it kind of, it's a little, sorry if I sound impassioned.
It boggles my mind a little bit to hear people who identify themselves as progressives and liberals sort of overlooking like the amiseration of Muslim minorities across the of Muslims across the world.
Uyghurs in China, 500,000 Palestinians who live in refugee camps in Lebanon and who are not allowed certain jobs.
I interviewed a Palestinian guy two days ago, Palestinian, born in Kuwait, built a Hummus empire in Minneapolis.
Amazing story.
Why did he leave Kuwait?
Because he was a Palestinian.
He told me he's a third-class citizen, can't get into university, went to elementary school in the second half of the day because he's Palestinian.
It's like somehow only when Israel or the Jews are involved do we care about the lives of Muslims and Arabs and Palestinians.
And I think that that is something that deserves a closer look.
Well, sure, but I do think that the answer can't be that they've had a tough time everywhere.
So, you know, I don't know that that justifies all of like the Netanyahu's actions clearly.
And I'm not saying you're saying it does, but I know that it's been difficult for them.
And yes, they experience the Arab world is rife with sectarian conflicts where everyone hates each other, right?
I mean, that's not new.
I just think that there's got to be some. decision about where Israel's borders are.
And I think the constant expansive nature of the policy and the settlements in the West Bank and kind of what seems like it's a policy that's kind of based on agitation.
And that to the outside viewer, to somebody like me, who's again, not a big stake in the game here, I look at that and I go, that when you see people getting evicted from their homes, and I know that Ben Shapiro is saying that it was, you know, a bill coming due from years and years ago or whatever, it's a contract, the Sheikh Jira thing.
I tried to understand.
I watched him three times.
It was a contract, somebody getting, it just doesn't, it seems.
Okay.
Yeah.
But, but all you need to like just make it super basic.
Yeah.
The shake, the sheikh Jira thing.
Yeah.
I don't support what Israel was doing, but it was about six homes.
Watch those clips from Hamas.
What's it about?
I understand that it's about six homes, but I think it's like when it's six homes, six families, six groups of people, it just blows up.
Think about America and how many movements have been started about, you know, one interaction with police that's gone wrong.
So even though it's six homes, I think that there's like, you know, the power of media and the power of everything.
It's, I think it exemplifies the issue to people.
I don't think it's.
But you're saying the power of media.
You have to ask yourself, why is there this obsession with this conflict?
Why is there an obsession with this conflict to the exclusion of everything else?
Well, because it's so long standing.
And I know that you would say it's because of anti-Semitism.
It's not because it's a bed in China.
No, I'm just saying like it's not that longstanding.
It's pretty longstanding, right?
It's about since, I mean, depending on how you count, but you can say it's from 48 or 67.
In the scope of like ongoing wars in the world, it's not that long.
I mean, it's terrible.
It's horrible.
I think it's the occupation is eating at the soul of Israel's democracy.
Like I have no problem saying that.
But you have to wonder, like, why is there this absolute and utter fixation with this tiny conflict?
Well, America is very supportive of Israel, right?
So you have any conflict in the Middle East, you have America getting drawn into it in terms of narrative.
Like America has to make a decision.
And America has been incredibly supportive of Israel.
You know, when Trump moves the embassy to Jerusalem, it just becomes a massive news story because it is America.
It's an American president doing it.
And yes, there's anti-Semitism out there and people do fixate on things because of anti-Semitism.
But this seems to be, it's about the fact that America is so supportive of Israel's actions that I think it makes the story bigger than it might necessarily otherwise be.
But it's like you're constantly hearing about, let's say, American foreign aid.
It's like America gives tens of billions of dollars in foreign aid to countries all over Europe, to Egypt, all over the Middle East.
And like there's this obsession on Israel.
And the reason, Tim, that I'm interested in that is like that demonization that is so beyond criticism has actual effects in the lives of Jews in this country.
Of course.
Yeah.
Like, like when a caravan of people waving Palestinian flags drives through West Hollywood and pulls up to a sushi restaurant and says, who's a Jew?
And then beats the shit out of people.
Or where a caravan of cars in a Jewish neighborhood in London drives through and says, fuck the Jews and rape their daughters.
Yes, it's horrible.
Yeah, no, 100%.
Yeah, but that's why I care about this so much.
Right.
I don't, I care about this.
Like Israel's going to do what it's, Israel's its own country.
That's a foreign conflict.
The reason it matters so much to so many American Jews beyond, you know, the fact that for many reasons is because the way people talk about Israel has incredible ramifications on Jews all over the world.
Should it be constitutional, though, to boycott Israel if you want to, the BDS movement?
Like it seems to be you're a free speech person.
Is it weird to mandate that American citizens have a responsibility to not boycott the actions of a foreign country?
I think what you're referring to are these bills that say that very, very state boycott divestment and science.
Yeah, but what the bills say is that Americans, America, that states and governments won't do contracts with businesses that support BDS, just in the way that American that states have contracts that say we won't do business with companies that support a white supremacist organization.
It's like, what is BDS about?
Does a college student have a right to stand up and say, boycott Israel?
100%.
Does Abby Martin have a right to go on YouTube and say that?
And should her video not be taken down?
100%.
But like, let's be clear about what BDS is.
BDS is a movement not about Palestinian rights, not about creating a Palestinian state, not about opposing the Israeli occupation of the West Bank.
It's about the eradication of the state of Israel.
And the question is whether or not you think that that policy itself is anti-Semitic in effect, if not in intent.
Well, 100% is anti-Semitic, if that's what the policy is.
It is.
Sure, but should you be allowed?
Let's say somebody says, hey, I don't believe that Israel or the United States or whatever country has the right to exist because of the way it was founded, right?
Do you stifle that person's right to speak?
Even though I think it's a ridiculous thing, do you stifle that person's right to speak?
And my answer would be no.
My answer is also no.
What I think is important to add to it, though, is what BDS is about.
I think people really don't get it.
Most people who are supporting BDS, like young people or, you know, that think they're anti-Zionists, think they're just supporting the underdog.
No, what BDS is about is the elimination of the largest Jewish community on planet Earth.
That's it.
Miami?
Are they trying to get rid of it?
They're right now.
They're trying to get rid of Miami.
I was going to wear like a bokeh lady outfit for you.
You should have.
Well, listen, Barry, where can people support you and find you now?
Because I know you left the New York Times.
Did you leave or did they get you?
It was a thing, right?
You just said it's time for me to go.
I Jerry Maguired myself out of there.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was it weird to work there?
Were people were hostile to you openly towards the end?
Oh, some people were hostile openly in the beginning, but yes.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I mean, it wasn't.
It was, it was, uh, it was not the Middle East, but it was a hostile situation.
And, you know, like you talk about a lot on your show, there's, there's, I think that the most interesting independent voices right now are on the outside and not the inside of these institutions.
And I wanted to leave so that I could be free to tell the truth, which is the reason I became a journalist to begin with.
Right.
Where can people support me?
Yeah.
can support me at um on my newsletter it's barryweiss.substack.com and I'm going to be launching a podcast in a few days and I know that you're going to be doing lunch that day or in no, we just thought you would cancel you just because we made a joke about you.
So we said Barry West will definitely cancel the podcast.
But the fact that you haven't, we're shocked.
You're shocked?
Hostile Situations Explained00:02:51
I mean, I don't know.
I don't hang out with journalists and I don't know these people.
I just know that we make fun of Katie Herzog all the time and Katie always comes on.
We do like Katie Herzog a lot.
Well, Katie Herzog has an amazing series going on right now on my newsletter about the spread of the illiberal ideology in the world of medicine.
And there's an absolutely bananas up there today.
It's not good.
It's not good.
People should read it.
And no, I'm a huge fan.
I mean, as you know, my favorite, even though you go after me and various other people, I freaking loved the segment on the Airbnb lesbians, which I have watched several times.
I'm still banned.
And, you know, it's, you want to talk about Israel-Palestine.
This is another long-standing conflict of which there will be no two-state solution.
And I feel like I'm the people that I don't know.
I mean, I feel like they have, they feel like I have the power and they feel like I feel like they have the power.
So nobody really, I just am, I was thrown off Airbnb.
I literally.
You actually were banned from everybody.
I'm banned.
We have to use Ben's account.
I stay in hotels most of the time anyway.
But like, you know, it's crazy and it's not even a deplatforming discussion you can enter into because nobody has any sympathy when you're thrown off Airbnb.
It's not like you were thrown off Twitter or anything.
People are just like, they think you're like unsanitary or something.
And again, lesbians shouldn't be decorating homes.
This is the reality in the same way that gay men shouldn't be doing certain things.
And it's a natural conflict between gays and lesbians.
But, you know, maybe that will, they'll come on and we'll, we'll talk it out with them.
I don't know if you know them.
They're very stylish.
I would love to broker that Camp David Accord on this show.
As someone that, you know, identifies with parts of who they are, parts of who you are.
I feel like I can be Switzerland in that situation.
Well, we hope.
Well, we thank you again, Barry.
I know the week was tough.
Barryweiss.substack.com.
You can subscribe to Barry's newsletter that's out there and support what she's doing.
And we appreciate you for coming on.
And now no one can get angry because we've had everybody on except the real winners, the Christians, who should be giving the whole area back because we're the people who've never done anything to anyone.
That's the truth.
That's the truth.
Christians have become the people to really rely on.
We have like a whole, it's too much with the Jews and the Arabs all the time.