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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Fake Opportunities and Old Friends00:08:09
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.
We are live from an undisclosed location in Brooklyn, New York, and we have a special guest.
I don't know how we got him.
It's so tough to get people now because of COVID.
Can't get anything.
Go to William Sonoma.
You try to get a pan.
They don't have it in the store.
You got to order it online.
Can't get any furniture.
Can't get any clothing.
Everything's backed up because of COVID.
The same thing with podcast guests.
They are very, very tough to get right now.
But we have pulled every string.
I went to my people at CAA.
I went to everybody.
I went to every connection I knew.
I twisted every arm.
I greased every palm.
And finally, it came through.
We're very excited to have this man on the show, Ray Comp.
Hello.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you.
It was a process.
Yeah.
No, look, I mean, when I found out from my agent that you wanted to be on the show, it took a moment to register.
Oh, right.
And yeah, look, we're old friends.
So why not?
Yeah.
There's a lot going on, but we're old friends.
We're old friends.
So listen to this.
My agent calls me today.
He goes like this.
Listen to this, right?
Anybody who's not in this business, and by the way, if you're not good, don't be and don't try to get into it.
But anyone who's not in the business isn't familiar with how, in many, not in all cases, but in many cases, agents in the Matt, they're just becoming useless.
So they don't really call you anymore with like, you know, like actionable intelligence.
You know how they always say like things that can actually help your career.
They call you with things that they disguise as opportunities.
So listen to this.
My agent calls me a few hours ago and goes like this.
He goes, Hey, man, how are you?
He's like, I got Ryan on the phone too.
Some other guy.
He's like, it's me and Ryan on the phone.
Now, I just auditioned for Curb.
I thought they were telling me I got Curb.
I was like, oh, great.
I'm so excited.
You know, like, I got Ryan on the phone.
They're like, all right, so we just want to go through a couple opportunities if that's okay with you.
I'm like, oh, yeah, baby.
I'm in.
Let's do it.
I'm ready.
I love the show.
And so the other day we were talking.
Apparently, Lakeith Stanfeld has seen you on Rogan and he thinks you're really funny.
Now, there's probably nothing really to do, but maybe you want to write something with that in mind.
I'm like, he's the guy from what, Ben?
Get out.
Sorry to bother you.
Oh, okay.
He's an established guy.
Okay, cool.
But they go like this.
They go, maybe you want to write something with that in mind.
I'm like, you want me to write a buddy cop film for me and Lakeith Stanfeld?
What are you saying here?
So he's a fan.
Is he a fan of the show?
He just saw me on Rogan and thought I was funny.
It's like, dude, that's so that's millions of people.
This is like the friend who's like, you know, you go past a girl, you want the girl you penned in high school, and she's like, thanks.
And then you're finally walked away, goes like, you should try to fuck her.
Yeah, right.
But it's exactly right.
Then they go like this.
They go, and there's a guy at Danny McBride's company, not Danny McBride.
There's a guy at Danny McBride's company who works in the documentary division who's also a fan of you.
And he said to us, I don't think there's anything to do right now with him, but we really like him.
And I go, what is?
And they go, so we just want to set some time next week to go over some more of these opportunities.
I'm like, they're not opportunities.
I want you to understand something, Tim.
This is one of those moments when you have to, iron's hot, you got to strike.
Okay.
There's no time to wiggle waggle about this.
Tom Hanks, his janitor, signed up for your Patreon.
Yeah, that's literally what it is.
It's like, these are not opportunities at all.
They have nothing to do.
Look, I've never understood that side of the business and they never understood me.
Right.
Yeah.
But look.
It's like calling me and going, listen, so Sharon Stone is drinking heavily.
She's into QAnon and thinks you're great.
We don't know if there's anything there yet, but we just think we should explore it later on.
This is like saying, look, look, all right.
Let me hear something.
Kevin Spacey has just lost custody of his children.
This is a big opportunity.
Like, these are people spiraling.
It's an opportunity.
It's people who's on the career seeing you on the way down.
It's one of our favorite phrases, really.
It's less than nothing.
You know what I mean?
It's absolutely.
So call someone and just say, hey, somebody famous thinks you're funny.
I'm like, a lot of people do.
Who cares?
Unless there's something to be done.
That was like eight years ago when you got excited about that.
Yeah.
I'm like, dude, I got bills to pay.
There's things I want to do that requires money like creatively.
It would be one thing if they were like, hey, you know, they've got a real great idea.
Why don't you hear them out?
Or they think you could be plugged into something or there's something going on.
But to just say, hey, they saw you on Rogan and they think you're funny and they want to, and I think they said, Lake Sanford wants to talk to me, which I'm like, great.
Like, I'm like, I'll talk to anyone, right?
That's what I do.
I think it'd be so funny if like I sit down with them and he's like, hey, man, why do you put Candace Owens on the show?
I'm like, oh, this is, this is what we had to get CAA involved.
Just tweet at me like everyone else to go fuck myself.
It would be funny if he was like, I think Candace had a lot of great ideas.
I can't say that usually.
He's like, I want to thank you for exposing me to Candace Owens, who I now love.
So it's just, we're at a point now where it's like the level of insanity, you get to the point.
I was kind of a dick to them on the phone.
They were like, we want to set a time to talk about some opportunities.
And I said, if we have real opportunities and not like some crazy idea, like some crazy, like non-specific, hey, why don't you write a pilot for you and Lakeith Stanfeld, you know, on spec?
It's like, yeah, guys, if there's real opportunities, let's discuss it.
Because the reality is, it's like, you don't start writing the pilot.
We still learn from your thing until the money's changed hands.
The whole thing is that this is in lieu of there's just no good news, which is fine, right?
Because there hasn't been any in years.
Just call with that.
Like, I'd respect that.
Just call and go, so you didn't, so a role on edition four and curb was like a plumber.
They go, they're going another way.
They're going another way on that.
I'm like, of course they are.
Also, I don't know if a casting director is going to look at my Twitter and go, yeah, this guy was on a podcast with Alex Jones.
Yeah, Candace Owens on.
We don't want to, we don't need that smoke.
We don't need that heat.
Who needs that smoke?
What is there's no other fat guy to play a plumber?
We got to get this guy for what?
You know, so I don't know.
I just have no, I would respect that if they were like, listen, there's just nothing going on.
It's just like when I used to work retail and selling cameras, when it was slow, the boss would be like, here's what you want to do.
Why don't you go through all the old sales?
The people you sold cameras to a couple of years ago and try to sell them another camera.
It's just such a crazy idea because I know sales and I know that like when you have somebody that has a mortgage, it's like maybe the mortgage is going to like adjust or maybe circumstances have changed.
It's such a, nothing could be a colder sale than calling a guy that bought a camera three years ago.
You're like, hey, how's that doing?
How's that Nikon doing?
Did that thing I told you break it?
How are you feeling?
You want to re-up?
Why don't you come down to the store?
We got some new models.
How's that cannon treating you good?
It's just.
Let me be honest with you.
I got a Coke problem.
I got to be real honest with you.
I need $70, which is the commission on this $8,000 camera that I sell you.
I will make $70 and I need it or I'm going to get my head busted in when I walk out of here.
So please come down here and look at these cameras.
The Bitcoin Game and Cold Sales00:12:37
It's so crazy.
And to think, these agents are all usually rich kids because who would ever get into the business of selling clowns?
No one that needed money.
There's no like...
Well, it's the kind of thing also where like, it's one of those jobs where you could be float.
Like you need someone to float you for a while because they don't make money the first few years.
No, they're like, you know, they work on somebody's desk and, you know, their parents are just happy.
They're not, you know, like, you know, in jail.
So they're like, usually it's the black sheep of a wealthier family where it's like my brother is at Johns Hopkins Medical Center.
You know, my sister works at a big ad agency.
My other brother works at Goldman and I work at WME because I, you know, obviously I'm not going to be a tour guide like Tim Dylan.
My aunt, by the way, sent, she's sending me like little presents, which is nice, Aunt Donna.
She sends me a present for my Christmas tree, and it was the Greyhound tour bus from New York City.
And it just kind of rubbed me a weird way.
She's trying to take the piss.
Yeah, it's almost like who you are.
Yeah.
That's exactly what it felt like.
That's what it felt like.
It's just a double-decker bus.
When I think of you, I don't think of a Range Rover.
I think of a dirty bus.
You can run as far as, you can run as fast and as far as you want.
But when you look back, you're going to be smelling bus fumes, pig.
That's what it felt like.
I'm like, why would I?
It's like giving a recovering heroin addict an ornament of a needle.
You know, like, here, put this syringe on the tree.
Only ever one step away.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was just such a weird game.
Well, you've always, look, she's very nice to me when I see her, but I've always observed a certain level of where the kids say salt.
It's just likes me.
She likes me.
She just remembers when I was a drug addict.
Sure, she puts a little salt on it.
Yeah, she remembers when I was a drug addict, and it's like, you know, what do you want me to do?
Yeah.
You know, you got to go back and fucking.
I'm sorry I stole from your house.
I didn't never stole from my house.
But I was like, I think it's just the idea that like she's like, you know, trying to do the right thing.
It was nice that she sent the ornament.
I just, I go, I say to myself, I go, wait a minute.
Right.
She also sent me a conspiracy board game.
And I was like, what the fuck is this?
How's this worked this game?
Do you even look at it?
I didn't even look at it.
It was just a conspiracy board game.
And I'm like, is this what we're doing?
How about no presents?
Was it just like a Mr. Potato head, but it's Kennedy?
Yeah, isn't it?
You just keep hitting it.
I don't know what it is, but it's just like, oh, it's a fun, like, conspiracy board.
And it's like, that's not what we're doing here.
David Dobrik, by the way, we talked about this, talking about puzzles and games.
David Dobrik came up with a game called $100,000 puzzle.
He sold 17,000 of them in an hour.
And people that buy the game can win up to $100,000.
He didn't sell a board.
He's selling gambling.
He's just selling wild tickets.
What is this?
You made a great point.
He really is like the Willy Wonka for poor people.
Come with me and you'll see.
I mean, was he giving them Porsches or something?
He shows up with Lambos occasionally.
Yeah, look, I don't even know if he is a good guy.
Here's the thing.
It's the last thing you want to give to someone who isn't financially stable and financially literate with money, like someone who's actually in the grips of poverty.
There's things you have to work really serious tax implications and like.
Do you think they let them keep the cars?
Like right after the cameras are off, somebody comes in and takes the car.
The guy's like, what?
They go, you knew what this was.
What do you think you're being given?
Here's your appearance fee.
Here's $250.
But there's something funny about this whole thing, whether it's him or Jeffree Star.
And I've talked about it on the show before.
This idea of YouTube philanthropy, like these guys and the way that they are like a lot of, they're just like, hey, I'll hit your Venmo.
And it's so sad watching people on Twitter be like, listen, you know, my wife is out of work.
She just had an operation.
I have COVID.
I can't really.
And it's so sad.
They're like tweeting at these big people to pay their bills.
It's fucking terrible.
And what's so sad is there's like, I'll see that.
But also in that same fee, people I knew from comedy going, hey, me and my roommate really, we lost our waitressing job, sort of.
And we really use help with the rent.
It's just a stacking of like...
Because you can't vet these people.
So it's just like.
No, I mean, that's why it's so devastating to watch and sad.
And it's also like a lot of these people, no one quite knows why they have money.
Like nobody knows why David Dope.
Like we all know why, but nobody knows.
Like I'm confused as to why he has the amount of money he does.
Yeah.
He probably doesn't.
No, he does.
How much money does he have?
What?
10 million or something, right?
Oh, 10 million is not enough to be giving away Lambos, though.
Well, companies sponsor it and they buy the car.
Okay, that's my point.
Yeah.
What is that?
15 million.
Yeah, 15 million.
He's a Lambo.
He's a Lambo salesman.
He sells Lambo.
He's a Lambo advertiser.
And listen, good for whatever, but he made the money.
You know, he gets a lot of views and stuff like that.
He's not looking.
But you watch it and you go, I don't, I, I don't get it, but it's not for me to get it.
Here's the thing.
I don't hate the guy.
It's a good grift, whatever.
But you go, he's bringing more positivity into the world than we'd be otherwise.
I don't know if he is.
It's just, it's just weird.
It's always this weird grift where it's just like, who is this actually helping?
You probably, like the lotto.
I mean, the amount of people who get lotto when they win big and just completely fucked up.
There's a certain amount of success, which I'll probably never reach, where you just have to start saying things like, look under your seat today.
Like, there's a certain amount of money where people just expect you to give them things no matter what.
They're like, okay, I'm going to go get a free water fan if I sit through two hours of Oprah.
Like that was a big thing.
Oprah started it.
Like look under your seat.
Then Ellen did it and they give everybody like there's just a certain amount of money.
Whenever you hit that amount of money, people expect you to just walk around and give them shit.
Yeah, this is the kind of thing you should do when you're a criminal.
Right.
Like a legit like mob boss.
Yeah.
Right.
You're just buying loyalty from people.
Ellen should have given those cars to her staff who she beat the shit out of them.
Like, yeah, give them to the people that are genuinely hurting.
Give them a fucking Hyundai Sonado.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's always, you look at people in the audience at Ellen or Oprah, and you go, there couldn't be anyone less deserving than these middle-class pieces of shit.
Upper middle class have nothing to do but watch a television.
When I was broke, there was nothing less important than going to watch a TV taping.
Like the idea that like anyone in that position needs anything other than more work.
Like it should be look under your desk.
There's more work for you to do.
Don't come back to this fucking studio to watch me interview Kirsten Bell, Kristen Bell or whoever the fuck Ellen's talking to.
But yeah, it's interesting.
The Dobrik game, what, did you find anything about it?
It's, it's...
So he profited about $350,000.
See, he made $350,000.
But yeah, but a lot of it's a lot of games to sell in an hour.
That's why we need a product, Ray.
We can't keep fucking around.
Entertainment, man.
You know, you could really go scratch with entertainment.
What about something you could fuck?
You know, I'm listening.
Like a Furby that, like, because the fleshlight was too big and it's too gross.
And it doesn't look like a living thing.
You need our own version of a Furby.
Like, but it's like maybe a face, like a non- What about a Furby with a very small mouth for pedophiles?
Look, I mean, it's better if they're doing that than if they're, you know, a tiz.
And that's exactly what we'll say.
Sure.
Like a small mouth for a pedophile to face fuck.
Why are you pushing back?
I just don't know if we should lead with that.
Look, pedophiles are nothing else, resourceful.
They'll figure it out.
Like, you know, they'll share it on there before.
I don't want them to.
I don't know if they're going to.
But we do because we don't want them to fuck the actual kids.
Fine, but fine.
But I don't know if we need to come out in the advertisement in the press conference and say it's a child's doll, but for a million other things.
Well, the dildos that women use are massagers, right?
Right, for sure.
Yeah.
So this is it to practice if your child falls in the pool.
Yeah.
Giving him chest compressions and mouth to mouth.
This is problematic.
This is complicated.
My agent calls me.
He's like, huh, Lakeith Stanfeld sees you a pedophile doll and thinks it's great.
Now, he doesn't want to go into business with you immediately, but just keep in mind that Lakeith Stanfeld thinks you're a pedophile doll is great.
Oh, you guys pedophile Furby?
Oh, shit.
That's hype.
Somebody at Danny McBride's company who is a pedophile is really like, it doesn't want to say who it is.
They sent us a message through Discord that they really like the doll.
I mean, yeah, I don't even want to keep this going, but like you could have a thing where like, the problem is only kids would wear it, so it's not good.
But you'd like where it'd be a fucking thing that you could wear, but you also fuck.
But then it would just be a thing that kids were in high schools.
I mean, I mean, get in trouble for it.
Yeah.
We don't want to get in trouble.
Those bracelets that kids used to...
There's those snap bracelets.
Remember a snap bracelet?
I had snap bracelets, yeah.
Where you would snap it on your wrist.
You remember, Ben?
Wow.
Kids would get cut because it's a metal thing in there.
And they would like their wrists open.
And then there were pogs.
I had pogs.
I had OJ Slammer.
OJ Simpson Slammer?
Yeah.
Wow.
It's like, keep OJ out of the slammer or something.
And the back of it had a picture of an engraving of a gun that was there.
And remember, more recently it was the fidget spinner.
I never had those.
I didn't care, but apparently they were like a thing.
And then now they're nothing.
Now they're nothing.
Yeah, for like a year there, everyone was claiming to be like the kind of OCD maniac who like had to like fucking at all times be honking 15 different things.
Right.
You see these advanced fidget spinners that have like knobs and like rides and gears.
And they see people these YouTubers go, I like this, but I have to fill it with things.
Like it's.
I love it's like you could show somebody a picture.
Like you go back in history, you show somebody a picture of the future, you see all these people fidgeting with all these things.
Like, oh, what are all these gadgets do?
It's like, oh, nothing.
They're just, they're just for something for people to do that are on too many SSRIs to get their dickhearts.
So they just want to play with a fucking weird fucking.
What is going on with Bitcoin?
You know about Bitcoin.
You're a financial analyst.
And I know what I know about Bitcoin is my news.
It seems like it's going high.
I don't know.
I know as much as I knew five years ago, which is nothing.
It's bullshit.
Raise a Bitcoin hater.
What if this is a controversial statement?
I think it's possible it could grow over time into a thing that people use, but no one's really using it yet.
And again, I don't have all the numbers.
If you're some Bitcoin nerd out there and you're going to tell me, but I've had people who hate tech tweeting me for years now because I haven't been up on Bitcoin for the old show and going like, why don't you like Bitcoin?
It's going to go up.
And it drops and it drops and it drops.
These same people are.
We don't believe it's.
Look, it's a bubble now.
Can these blockchain currencies work?
Yeah maybe, like you know people, if they get adopted and they don't get you know uh, get a kibosh from the FED and all that.
You know.
If the banks don't keep them out, you know, by that time the banks get you know, actually allow them.
If they do, are they're gonna actually be?
You're gonna get so much hate from that, and not not only because I am starting a cryptocurrency with David Dobrik.
Should David Dobrik start his own bitcoin, how great would it be if he just literally like, what if the youtubers started issuing currencies?
Like, just pay with dobux, just pay with doughbucks?
He goes to like the most economically depressed areas of law.
Like, we give you a million dollars in dobux yeah, we're going, i'm going to Compton and i'm handing out my new currency, doughbucks.
If you're line up right after you get your covid test, which is fake, not covet, but the test is fake come and get doughbucks and we'll see.
I mean that would be great.
If like, let's keep the griff going go, move into other things, moving to bigger arenas like yeah like, like currency arbitration, why don't we just somehow get you installed in a foreign government and like literally take a bribe.
Scams in Depressed Areas00:14:39
But because of the way I look, it would have to be like the shittiest foreign governments, like Ireland, like the only, the only government where I could literally probably assimilate, get into.
And they're so dumb over there that I could get like they do.
You think we're gonna make you the king of England?
Does Ireland even have a CIA?
No yeah, they have like guys who throw like literally, just throw them all top cocktails at the cops.
They have guys that just like like like, just literally, like light Protestant baby strollers on fire.
That's their version of the CIA, but it's like that's the only government I could probably get into.
Hello, i'm Patio Flanagan.
My name is Patio Flanagan.
I'm the new senator from Dairy.
I'll tell you a few things about this country.
I believe in the future of Ireland.
I believe in a free Ireland.
I believe in a free Ireland.
I believe that that we have to.
We have to fight for the Church Of Rome.
What I mean, even if it's not you, but we do is there an angle we can get with the politician?
No we, why not?
Why can't we start small?
But you need, you need, like a low level senator.
Oh so listen to this, you're gonna love this.
So i'm, first of all, i'm in New York right now, and the reason that i'm in New York is because a re, a seafood restaurant, opened.
I've told you about Artie's FISH South Shore Fish.
Yeah now, we never went.
We never had got a chance.
We went to other ones near there but yeah, Arties closed.
I was very depressed.
You know how much I like restaurants yeah, and you know I don't really have a family.
You know not that you like right, so I love restaurants.
So, like I was like let's go.
And I did get to see my mother through the window of the mental institution, which was lovely, it was very nice, you know, it was a nice kind of visit.
I just was like sorry, Trump lost.
She's like I know it's bad, i'm like she goes.
I hope the new guy keeps giving me a stipend.
She goes.
Trump gave me 1200 and it went into my account.
I hope the new guy gives me a stipend and i'm like, well, I hope so too.
I hope for your sake and everyone else's sake.
I I also hope so.
So we go to Arties, because they contacted me on instagram.
They're like we're back and we're doing fish and i'm like Ben, let's just get on a plane and come here which they did and there's no quarantine, there's nothing.
I mean, everybody's like there's, there's and I guess, is this this thing that the media is doing to scare people?
That which I get, because I guess they don't want people to travel, but like they're putting all this information out there's like there's checkpoints at the bridges and tunnels and the military is in the airports.
It's like there's none of that.
Okay yeah, I don't even know, but I mean there's none of it.
But what would they do anyway?
Tell you to go home like, tell you to go, go quarantine?
Okay, that's a great point, son.
What the hell are you doing?
I, I don't know, i'm getting pizza you going home, just a big military guy.
You're gonna get sick boy, You stupid fuck.
Sir, yes, sir.
I will go home.
Just firing his guns in the air.
Yeah.
I'm not powerless.
The empire endures.
Just screaming.
It's like, who is this?
Who did you hire?
So we're sitting in Artie's today.
Alphonse D'Amato walks in.
82-year-old senator from the town I grew up in Island Park.
Where's from Island Park?
He's from Island Park.
He's from Brooklyn.
He lived in Island Park.
D'Amato's like, read, can you on Mike read a little bit about D'Amato?
Set this up for people because it is truly amazing.
Okay, so D'Amato was of Italian ancestry.
He was born in Brooklyn and raised on Long Island in the small village of Island Park, which is great.
He was the last Republican senator for New York from 1981 to 1999.
The only charity he is a part of is the Poker Players Alliance, which is a nonprofit organization set up to help protect and fight for the rights of poker players in the United States.
It's a lobby for the online poker team.
Yeah, yeah.
So please tell us the book.
Tell us to Ben.
Come here and tell us the title.
Find the title of his book and then tell us the title of D'Amato's book and then we'll talk about D'Amato because the lunch was amazing.
But you gotta, this is, if you didn't learn enough about him by just, and shout out to him.
I might see him again at this restaurant.
I'm not trying to make things weird.
But the name of the book he wrote is absolutely perfect.
The name of the book is Power, Pasta, and Politics.
The word according to the world according to Senator Al D'Amato.
Look at that, right?
He looks like he's like a, he's another Alzheimer.
So listen to this.
He hates Trump.
He goes like this, right?
He sits down.
He's talking with the owner of the restaurant.
He goes, listen, he goes, you know why he lost this election?
He goes, you got Giuliani in there.
Giuliani's going over to Ukraine, hiring a bunch of crooks.
He goes, Giuliani's a snake.
He goes, I made Giuliani.
I put Giuliani on.
He goes, Giuliani's got no loyalty to anybody but himself.
And he goes, the guy's a scumbag.
And he goes, Trump's also a scumbag.
He goes, you don't think Trump's cheated on everything?
D'Amato goes, Trump doesn't pay any of his fucking workers.
And the guy that owns the restaurant goes, yeah, he owed my buddy 80 grand.
He only gave him 60.
DeMato's like, you're lucky he got 60.
You used to have to sue him to get money.
And then it was so funny because I'm sitting there with Ben and we're listening to this whole thing.
And I'm like, Ben, don't you get it now where I don't get invested in any of this shit emotionally?
Because this is just, they're all criminals.
Like, D'Amato's a criminal.
D'Amato's a criminal.
Like Giuliani, who prosecuted the mob is like hiring mobsters to like help Trump.
Like they're all full of shit.
The whole thing's a grift.
And like, it's just so funny listening to D'Amato talk because anyone from New York who knew Trump knew he wasn't like to say that Donald Trump cares about the working man is like saying Tim Dylan cares about the American vegan.
It's hilarious.
I had uncles telling me that like over Thanksgiving dinner when I was 10 about Trump.
Yeah.
Before he was even like a guy.
Yeah.
It was a known thing forever.
He has no empathy.
The guy doesn't care at all.
But it was so funny how just D'Amato unloading on Giuliani for the majority of the lunch.
I mean, look, what did Giuliani even do on 9-11?
That's what I'm confused about.
How did he become America's mayor?
I think he...
Was he digging people out of the Grand Juri?
He stood there, and I think he was the mayor.
I mean, he was, he was, he performed his mayoral duties, and he was, you know, I think he maybe gave a few speeches.
I don't remember any Giuliani speech.
I remember the famous Bush thing where he got on the microphone and he was like, we're going to find the people who did this.
I'm just saying, this guy has got, look, he fell far from Grace, but he was built up so hard after 9-11.
Well, he did a good job with New York, I think, in the beginning.
Yeah.
And there was a lot of reasons New York cleaned itself up.
You know, the infusion of foreign, you know, not foreign, but capital, Disney World, all that shit, you know, made change in New York as a city, but like the economy got better.
The economy in the 90s just got better anyway, if people remember.
But Giuliani certainly should get some credit for that because he did do a lot of good things for the city of New York at the time.
But then he just has become a goon.
And then you see that this is who he was the whole time is just a goon.
Remember when he ran for president?
It was like it was absurd at that point.
That was when you realized he wasn't like as freezing about it, but he was just anept.
That was when he first started the chink in the armor when he's just, oh, he's not good at this.
Like he's just, he kept bringing up 9-11 every time.
Every question was 9-11.
He's like, well, I was from a Cyrana city that was attacked.
I allowed Al-Qaeda to destroy the soul of my city.
He's like, listen to me.
Bernard Carrick and the Saudi government wired those buildings.
And I sat there and I didn't say a goddamn thing.
Do you have any idea what that's like going to bed every night with the deaths of 3,000 plus people on your hands?
He got like shit because apparently firefighters hate him because there was some thing where they wanted to like at one point, I don't know if it's day two or three after 9-11.
They realized there's a river of molten gold under like Tower 7 or some shit under the rubble.
What a goddamn hell all this country is.
We keep going.
And so Giuliani goes, we have to secure this, I guess.
We can't have the gold all swim away.
So he pulls people off of like looking for firefighters' bodies and victims and all these shit.
He goes, you have to go, I don't know, collect the molten gold with like a pail.
I don't know what he did.
But they're not from Lord of the Rings.
He's like, listen, you must find the river of gold.
It's like, my brother is in that building.
He's gone.
Nothing to be done.
But there's a river of gold coursing through the veins of this city.
And you got to find it.
What a sick sadistic society this is.
That's America's mayor.
That's what he did, right?
You're like, what did Giuliani do?
He directed the effort of the fire department to find the river of gold.
That's what he did.
That should be a children's book.
Rudy Julian, 9-11 and the River of Gold.
It's like a weird Harry Potter book.
Rudy Giuliani and the River of Gold.
What a fucking creepy fucking dude.
I mean, that is hilarious.
Yeah, he just never he just, but, but D'Amato was unloading on him on lunch today.
Yeah.
He's like, and then he got mad at Jimmy Hayes, who has a steakhouse across the street.
He's like, that cocksucker.
D'Amato goes, I go in there with a gift card.
It's not working.
Jimmy's like giving me shit.
He's like, that cocksucker's sitting there drunk.
He's sitting there drunk.
And Jimmy does like get drunk and just sit at the bar and yell and shit.
And like, he's Jamato's like, I've been going there 40 fucking years.
This fucking cocksucker.
Whatever.
We'll go back to this restaurant tomorrow and eat.
It's so good.
Everyone go there.
It sounds good for Fish Nile Park.
And then listen, if nobody, if I can't ever go again, at least I had these.
Oh, we went all out.
We got tuna tartare and Buffalo Calamari and the tuna tidbits and swordfish and soul.
And I mean, we just, it was really good.
I mean, we're staying at a dump.
What was Diamato eating?
Swordfish.
Oh.
Seems kind of lame.
Yeah, it was good.
I feel good.
Just seems like he's trying to, you know.
Guy's 82.
He had COVID two weeks ago.
What's it with all these people?
You're all just getting COVID eating fish.
I don't know.
I don't know what they're doing.
They don't give a shit.
My friend Michael has COVID.
I'm like, he didn't.
Anyone die from this anymore?
I don't think so.
I got to be honest.
I don't think so.
There's always a freak cake.
There's always like a thing that happens.
Like my Aunt Donna collects tragedies.
So she'll be like, she's always at the ready with like some like, well, one guy turned blue.
I don't want to be insensitive, but I mean, do you think this year is a kind of a gimme for people whose kids died of an overdose?
What do you mean?
Like, we'll just tell people it was COVID.
Free case.
Oh, yeah, but that's got to be horrible if they don't believe you.
Like, they should take it.
Like, I'm like, yeah, you know, John lost his fight with COVID.
And you go, COVID?
He's 24 years old.
It can affect young people.
It can affect young people.
You know, it was shocking for us.
You're like, where did he die?
Jail.
Died in jail of COVID.
No, but it's like, it's like somebody being like, honey, how did he die of COVID at 25?
Yeah.
Told you watch the news.
It can happen.
It can happen.
He started to have all these weird symptoms.
He had lesions on his forearms and wrists.
And, you know, he started stealing all of our money.
Is that part of COVID?
Yeah.
It's one of these new symptoms they have where the kids start stealing your money and accusing you of molesting them.
He was sweating and cool.
He was sweating.
He was saying, I know what you did to me.
You touched me.
You let people touch me.
Like, it was weird.
COVID.
All of these odd symptoms.
But it's just so funny when you're listening to D'Amato and then you're listening to trash all these people, just talking like really kind of accurately about his perceptions about things, whether they're right or wrong.
And he was also trashing Biden.
He's like, they got Biden on tape telling the Council of Foreign Relations that he's in the Ukraine.
His son's getting a lot of money.
He goes, you know, CFR, it's like real prestigious.
You get in there.
You got to spend all this money.
Blah, blah, blah.
He's doing all that.
But I mean, he gets it, man.
He's not wrong.
He's not wrong about anything.
He got it.
And Ben was hearing it.
I'm like, that's politics in America.
You want to know what it is?
You might not like it.
You might want it to be something else.
Maybe one day it will be.
I'm not telling anyone not to organize.
Go force your floor vote for Medicare for All.
Do whatever you want to do.
But at the moment, as it stands, politics in America, it's a goon squad.
Do you think the CFR back in the day didn't fuck with him?
Didn't like reach out to Al Damato?
I don't know.
I think he was probably a guy that they fucking lied.
He's a criminal.
Yeah.
These are all criminals.
I mean, like, these people, politics is crime.
It's like, it's legalized bribery and corruption.
It's what it is.
I mean, political parties used to literally be, they ran gangs.
They ran.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's just like, this is who these people are, the direct descendants of, and in every meaningful way.
And, you know, you can hear that when they're at lunch.
And just the way he's 82, it's so funny.
He goes, this cocksucker.
I go in there with a gift card.
And, you know, like, Jimmy's being like, this motherfucker tried to rob me, you know, like on the other side.
It's just, Jimmy's probably like, yeah, we ran this.
No, Al, this has already been used.
No, it hasn't.
Keep running it.
Keep running.
He's just trying to get a scam.
D'Amato's trying to get a scam trying to get a few free stakes.
That's really all the company.
Politics in America comes down to a few free stakes.
Can you get a few pieces of meat on the arm?
I mean, can you imagine how much better it tastes than when you fucking put your wallet out?
Like just getting, getting like someone a grip.
It just tastes fun.
I want to go back just for a minute to 9-11.
The funny, and I've told this anecdote on the show before, but the funniest thing I ever saw in like three years of doing leading tours in New York City, like on and off for three years on a double-decker bus.
There was this guy named Frank.
He was like this kind of intense guy, but not like a conspiracy guy, right?
Never like, you know, we smoke bots and shit.
Good dude.
Never really like did tours, never really got complaints.
He just got really, he just like got really fucking like heated one day when, and I never, I was taking his bus because I was just sitting on the bus to Deadhead to where I was taking a subway back to my house.
He was just doing like this, you know, downtown route.
And I lived in Brooklyn at the time.
And I was sitting there and he goes, somebody on the bus goes, The fire, you know, man, the fire department, they were all heroes, you know, running in those buildings.
And he goes, Frank goes, that's what you think.
He goes, I was there.
He goes, those firemen were cowards.
Hype Destroys Food Quality00:06:28
They were running out of those buildings.
He goes, they didn't save anybody.
They were running out of those buildings.
He goes, the cops, the firemen, they were cowards.
They were crying.
They were running away.
And the faces of the people were so disturbed by how matter of fact he was.
He's like, I saw it.
Because it was not characteristic for him to flip out like this.
He literally saw it or believed he saw it.
Like he was like, I saw it.
They're cowards.
They ran out of those buildings.
They didn't go anywhere near it.
They could have been running out as they were collapsing.
He goes, they didn't go anywhere near those buildings.
I've just never seen someone just flip so quickly.
It was just fucking phenomenal.
It was phenomenal.
But I'm glad I came across the country.
The New York City, now we came into the city.
The city now has outdoor dining in buildings.
They've built wood and plastic sheds, like horse stalls that look like they're part of a stable.
It looks like those things that we sell Christmas trees out of.
It's the strangest.
It's exactly what it looks like.
It's so odd.
And then they have these big tents like in Long Island.
Some people have these tents.
And I go, what the fuck's going on?
Like, how is it not transmissible in a tent or in an outdoor building without insulation?
Yeah, I would think, you know, look, I guess there's still airflow.
I mean, can't we just put better filtration systems in the fucking buildings?
I don't know.
I think they're allowed to.
This is the thing.
I think there's a lot of companies that like can open, but don't because you have to build negative airflow things and they're expensive.
Right.
You know, a lot of people, a lot of people's jobs are just working from home because what are we going to do?
Spend like 10 million renovating the building?
Right.
It's like it's.
Yeah.
Look, I hear you.
I mean, are they still doing like, you know, do you want the truffles on your macaroni when you're sitting in a shed?
I mean, I don't know what they're doing.
They're just, I mean, we, we had dinner at a place tonight.
It was like, whatever.
The quality of everything here is just declined precipitously.
I got to be honest with you.
I mean, the quality of New York City dining is, it's just dipped.
And they're just slinging food to high-end tourists.
Even on your way out of the city, like a year and a half, two years ago, where they were.
We were having some bad nights.
It was noticeably different.
It was noticeably different.
They're just pounding money out of foreign tourists.
It's not over the head.
Just beating them over the head.
It's expensive count money.
It's people that are throwing their company card out.
They're not going out anymore.
They're not saving up and going out for the special occasion that they want to be amazing.
They're just throwing corporate money at some forgettable night.
They just want to get plastered.
And that's what it is.
And you go to a lot of these places and you go, the food is just not really what it was.
I came up in the era of 90s to New York City where it's like, you had some of the greatest chefs that you know now as celebrity chefs were actually cooking in their restaurants in the 90s.
That's the other problem.
Chefs got famous and they left their restaurants.
And now we're just replacing them with line cooks who are good or sous chefs, but like chefs are now running little mini empires instead of cooking.
It's part of the problem that the money, can I imagine that like let's say the madmen era in the 60s and 70s, it was pretty easy to hide strip clubs and whores on the company expense account.
And things have probably gotten just in general a lot harder to do that kind of thing later on.
So did that money get diverted into restaurants is my question.
Is that part of the boom in the I don't know.
Or on the same note, will restaurants just get you a hooker and put it on their bill?
There used to be girls that would hang out in the big steakhouses in New York and there might still be, but there were girls that would hang out 100%.
Yeah.
Can it just call it a big potato?
Now you, yeah, they just put it on the bill as a big potato, $1,000.
He got the thousand dollars, but now it's like there's an actual baked potato that's a thousand dollars and it's caviar and some garbage.
Certain nights, girls would certainly hang out at the things.
I think a lot of the problem was it's just like everything else.
It's like chefs now run empires and they have TV shows and they have, you know, gourmet delis in addition to their restaurants and they have outposts in Vegas and everything else.
And you get to a point where the quality ultimately suffers because it's no longer about doing something really unique and good, but it's about, you know, being this, you know, massive mogul.
Right.
And you're just, I mean, I remember I went to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in Vegas, Lupo.
It was so grotesque.
I was embarrassed.
I was with this woman.
I had gone out with this girl, Nicole, in Vegas, who was like, we were kind of like dating, I guess on it.
That was years ago.
Years ago, you know, senior year of high school, 2003.
And we went and we went there and the food was so bad.
And I'm just like, wow, Wolfgang put Puck slaps his name on this.
But now it's like, you get it.
You're like, oh, he's just making a shitload of money.
Yeah.
He was Julia Child's like weird, creepy friend, right?
I don't know.
I think he was.
I'm just saying, these people.
No, there's Jacques Pepin.
Oh, that's right.
That's creep.
Okay.
Why is he a creep?
They're all creeps to me.
Jacques Pepin definitely is a seller of children.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that guy is a freak.
Well, so many of these people.
My name is Jacques Pippin.
You learn to make a couple good deals.
Look, put it this way.
I mean, Zeppelin, The Who.
I mean, the great bands.
What are the Stones doing now?
Where's the last time the Stones had a great idea?
Let's take them down a nuts.
Fuck them.
Fuck some girls.
But these chefs just are going to keep going.
It's like, you have a hit early on, but they trade on this name as if your food is like.
Yeah, you put goat cheese on a pizza.
We get it.
Right.
Hey, you did it.
Spago, you did it.
You go there and it's low.
You go to New Orleans and they come get these fucking charlat oysters and his big, and it costs you to like 15 bucks.
Oh, it's amazing.
As soon as you start telling someone you have to take a trip there, you have to go here.
You have to eat the very rarely does anything hold up.
Nothing's really that good in life for the most part.
There are a few things, but for the most part, things are pretty good and people try to define their lives by them.
And then they tell you, this is the greatest thing I've ever had in my life.
Well, there's nothing, there's nothing, because I go to New Orleans.
I go to Desire Oyster Bar.
People go to Acme.
The Desire Oyster Bar is a regular oyster bar in the Royal Siness Hotel.
It is fine.
The weight is a lot less.
You sit there, you get the grilled oysters with the butter sauce and the bread.
The whole thing is there, right?
You want the raw oysters.
And I'm sure maybe Acme is a little better, but the line and the whole thing.
Ridiculous Trends and Goat Cheese00:16:06
Exactly.
I've been fine.
It's the same shit.
It's the same shit.
So at the end of the day, it's like the hype around anything destroys it.
That's the amazing thing about the culture that we live in now.
The marketing hype, the endless marketing machine.
You're not going to have fun playing that Dobrik puzzle.
You just think you are.
Like the hype around it destroys it.
How many people even killed themselves after losing the Dobrik puzzle?
This is my last shot.
David Dobrik dealing with bad PR as his puzzle responsible for a rash of suicides.
That's the other thing.
It's like, what are these people going to just start uploading photos of themselves, blowing their brains out?
Like, hey, Jeffree Star, you didn't pay my rent.
Well, how about this?
No hashtag, no Lambo.
Yeah.
Hashtag no Lambo.
Or a guy that just blows his brains out in the Lambo.
I wanted red, not blue.
This wasn't enough.
This wasn't enough.
It didn't fill the hole.
And by the way, we're supposed to do some show where I interview these people.
Like, we're supposed to do a show where David Dobrik agrees to talk with me.
It is.
Or the D'Amilio girls.
Like, I'm supposed to do this show.
Like, I'm in talks to do it.
And I'd love to do it.
But, like, the idea that anyone is going to let these social media kids anywhere near me, like, is these D'Amilio girls who have closed in like every store.
They're like bazillionaires.
They own TikTok.
They've got 180 million followers combined or maybe more.
If they are in a room with me, there have been failures on every level of their PR strategy.
Like that means that nobody is paying attention.
Like nobody's done their job.
That means like you've not only breached the White House lawn, you're in the Oval Office with a loaded gun.
Do you think someone gets fired over the course of the season if you do the seasons?
Someone, everyone.
If you're a PR company, you use this as a way to get in with them and go, Tat Dylan, fuck up.
I mean, clean the fucking house.
Who is this fat fuck?
He's got 300,000 followers.
He's talking to your daughter about 9-11?
Your daughter's America's sweetheart.
She's got fucking Ira Postal jeans.
This fucking idiot's there doing bits about Rudy Giuliani and 9-11 in front of your daughters?
Did you take the Damilio sisters to the 9-11 mall?
Just going to different boutiques.
I mean, or like, there's no way in hell Dobrik's coming on a show.
Because my first question to him would be like, you seem to be like a Willy Wonka for poor people.
How did this happen?
How did this happen?
And I don't.
Well, Tim, what I'd like to talk to you about, what is even his main, is like, this is all gimmicks, right?
But what's his main gig?
He's a YouTuber.
Okay, so it's just like, I just want to talk to you about my YouTube show where I...
What is even the content of Do I?
I think he made funny, cute Vine videos that people liked.
And now he does, you know, putting things in his mouth?
I don't know what they do.
Will Sasso?
Listen, every time I try to watch any of these YouTube videos, it's YouTubers talking about what they're doing.
And none of them are ever doing.
Like, they're like, all right, so today it's day in the life.
Super excited for this video.
So we're waking up today.
Now I'm brushing my teeth.
Now I have my guy.
Now I have my assistant and my, I'm here in a mansion.
My assistant is going to take my dog for a walk.
And I'm like, how did this all start?
Like, how do you get to mansion?
Like, every YouTuber I watch, I guess I got to go earlier because now they're all so famous.
Everything they're doing is interesting because they're so rich, right?
So they're like, hey, I have a golden toilet.
And then that's the video.
But I'm like, how did this all come together?
Like, what's the early work?
Show me your early work.
You feel like he did levels.
Well, I got to be honest with you, Tim.
I let wealthy rich men piss all over me.
Yeah, but I don't, but I would, I would, I would understand.
Right.
But no, I think, I think these guys are brilliant.
Listen, at some point on this planet, talent became offensive.
I don't know when, but at some point, somebody who became, you could almost, you know, maybe it was these like American Idol type shows.
Maybe it was something where talent became like weird.
Like maybe it was like looking behind the scenes at talent.
Nobody wanted to do that.
Everybody just wanted to see Judy Garland come out and sing somewhere over the rainbow.
Nobody needed to know she was a pill head and a drunk and beat her daughter.
Like there's a certain point when the e-true Hollywood story got too much.
People like, you know what?
Enough.
We don't really need to see all of the shit that went into this.
I always think about it.
Like I'll be late in bed at night going, at what point did people just decide we don't want talented people anymore?
But it said happened.
At a certain point, people go, we don't want.
Eddie Van Halen.
He's too showboaty.
Yeah.
Even Halen.
She's fucking, it wasn't even music anymore.
It's too fast.
He didn't like it.
Everyone was coked out.
They finally came to and was like, enough.
We'll just, we'll have a whole bone.
But at some point, maybe it was Susan Boyle when she came out.
It was like this ugly woman who sang.
She's so talented.
We don't care.
Just melted everyone's head.
They're like, we don't want any of that.
I don't know when it was, but at a certain point, people were like, we don't want that.
So what they wanted was like this relatability, make me feel comfortable.
Shane Dawson, like not great looking, decent looking, Not horrific looking, but like very average across the board guy.
Not that funny, not that talented, but was open and let you see everything about his life.
And they were selling access to their lives and all of their thoughts and all of their feelings and how they interacted with the world.
And I guess that's what people, at a certain point, that's what people started to find interesting.
They're like, I just want a friend.
I don't want somebody who's talent.
I don't know when that happened.
And not to take anything away from these people, right?
Not take anything away from Dobrik.
I'm sure there are talents there.
You don't get that big with that certain kind of talent.
But I think the main thing was that these people just had a real insatiable need to post their lives online and the people connected with it.
I think it's also, look, they're proud of the time, but I think that it wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the weird appetite on the people.
Well, of course.
And like, it's like at some point your dad couldn't yell at you.
He couldn't make you feel stupid.
And like, it was like, everything had to be soft.
And like, I'm not, I'm not trying to say, oh, nerf the world.
I'm not an incel, but I'm just saying, but there was a certain point where like you had to kind of take it on the chin a little bit.
Right.
And like, these kids don't, it's like, it's like variation of the whole, you know, participation trophy, horseshit, whatever you want to call it.
And so like, this coddling, it's kind of like never would have worked when we were kids.
I mean, we would have.
No, it's, it's coddling, but it's something deeper than that.
It's something strange.
I don't know what it is.
I think about it all the time.
It's not simply that.
I think that plays a part in it.
That sets a cultural 100% tone.
But there's something going on where people are watching other people open gifts that they didn't get.
There's something going on where people are watching someone eat food, like a mukbang, just gorge themselves with food.
And they don't care about literature.
They don't care about movies.
They don't really music is whatever.
But like they're passing your time by watching someone gorge themselves with large quantities of food.
And I don't know if it's sexual, if it's a repressed desire.
I don't know what deep, dark, weird shit is going on in our minds that this type of content is appealing to people, but it really is appealing to people.
It's like a blanket.
A mukbang is a blanket.
Is it?
I don't, I never got into them.
Are they good?
They're not good.
Look, here's the thing about mukbangs, at least ones I've watched.
Is they're done by these guys like Stoney.
Shout out to Stoney, who was just a small guy.
He was a competitive eater.
Stoney from Long Island Comedy scene?
I don't think so.
I think he was just some dude who's like, he'll pound like 100 big.
Chris Paytas used to do a ton of them.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He competes in the Naconia Island kind of stuff.
I'm just saying, like, it's not, so it's not, it's the guy doing it doesn't seem sad.
He's a skinny guy.
He's doing it competitively, quote unquote, whatever that means.
That's what his life is like.
But I mean, there's a whole, but the person watching it is some like either fat person or like a person who is fat at heart.
And they like, it's, it's the lack of a filter.
It's like, it's like, you know, when they go to McDonald's, I can only have, if I even go, I have one Big Mac, maybe two, but this guy just keeps, it's the lack of, no one's telling him no.
And it's that.
Yeah, there's a deep, something's happening where it's like, we're allowed to see this now.
And I think maybe before we weren't allowed to see it, you know, there wasn't this community of people.
There wasn't this platform to view this stuff.
I mean, a lot of it's sex, like the SMR is sexual for people.
The sounds, the feelings, the way they feel.
I feel weird sometimes when I hear them, but I don't know if it's sexual.
But I feel like a weird chill sensation.
Whatever people claim, like however many people claim it as an ominous, I think it's like 1% of them are actually.
Like it's one of those things where it's like people like because look it sounds pleasant, right?
It's not like you're you're fucking playing with like, you know, razors in your hands and you're cutting your hands going, no, it's just weird, but I like this.
No, it's a pleasant thing.
They go, this does it for me.
People don't understand.
People self-diagnosing themselves.
Well, TikTok is fascinating, right?
Because TikTok seems to be divided into two camps.
You have the cringy TikTok where it's just crazy people doing shit, right?
And then you have like the young hot kids dancing in mirrors, right?
I mean, we understand that like that's just kind of a rebranding of teeny pop.
Here's my thing.
Culture now seems more than ever generated or determined by 12-year-old girls.
Like that's what's very interesting to me.
No, yeah.
No, no, no.
Of course.
Of course.
So what the fuck's wrong with our 12-year-old girl?
That's my question.
Yeah.
That's my question.
That's the interesting question.
That's the question.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because from the Beatles to somebody dancing in a house.
When did kids have such low standards?
Yeah, exactly.
And was it really 12-year-old girls like the Beatles?
They're a little older, but I get what you mean.
It was a huge contingent of that.
You're not wrong.
It is.
That's what I mean.
Like the culture, like adults seem to don't really determine much of the culture.
No, I mean, it was the extent that they do.
It was like Velvet Underground, which was influential, but no one was chasing them down the airport.
But I mean, like the people right now in their 30s, what do they determine?
I guess podcasts.
I guess that's huge.
The MMA stuff, the fucking, you know, who's watching?
Right.
You know, supplements and, you know, whatever.
And like the weird political discourse, you know, SNBC that goes nowhere.
That's, look, I don't, is it any better?
At the end of the day, is that even better than the fucking kids dancing in the mirror?
No.
I think that's a problem.
The problem is the futility that is out there.
Like there really is no hope.
Right.
I don't, I think even it's a new theme for the Tim Dylan show, everybody.
We're breaking new ground.
It's another, tell them what they've won.
It's another, there is no hope.
No, but I really feel like it's just apparent to even the least cynical people that like, oh yeah, like people have been talking about how screws up this whole system is for decades now and nothing changes.
We had Obama who seems like he would be the guy who would change it.
He didn't change.
Like it's even, they don't understand why or how or they don't understand the power structure per se, but like they get that they're like, oh, it's all kind of fake.
It gets more fake every year.
And so it breaks the brain in a certain way where like you don't like, why would you care about like, you know, some guy who's just, you know, part of the record company.
It's all.
Well, something happened to me.
I bought that dumb babe hoodie for the sketch I did where I played the rapper.
Not a rapper.
What was I playing?
An influencer.
And I put the hoodie on.
I'm in a babe store.
And, you know, nobody treats you nice as a plus-sized man buying clothes unless you're in the babe store.
And a lovely black man came up to me and he goes, you look fresh as fuck right now.
And I was like, thank you.
That's the first compliment I'd ever gotten in a clothing store.
And I put that hoodie on and I look ridiculous, right?
I look like a candy cane and got my red sweats.
And something happened to me.
As soon as I put the hoodie on, like, I didn't, I was like, I still have it.
I'm still going to wear it occasionally.
Sure.
I put it on.
I started saying, life is meaningless, but why not look like a ridiculous person and walk down the street and be a hype beat?
Like, I almost understood hype beasts because I'm like, oh, here's a community that I'm now a part of.
I wasn't a part of it.
Then I just put on this dumb sweatshirt and some guy's like, you look good.
And like, I could have started talking to him.
I could have been like, what are you getting?
What are you thinking about?
Who's got what drop?
And you're like, oh, I kind of understand why, you know, that culture is appealing to people.
The alternative is insane.
The alternative of rights.
Right.
No, I will find out who did 9-11.
I don't care how many decades it takes.
I love that's the world that we've decided.
It's hype beast or who did 9-11.
Like, those are your two choices.
Like me and Red, like, all right, kids, so you could grow up to be a hype beast or you could launch an investigation to 9-11.
Your choice.
What's the difference?
The alternative is I'm going to fix it or I'm going to buy this hoodie.
Right.
So that's the thing because there is like at a certain point, it's not even giving up on the conspiracy thing.
It's just like at a certain point, did they figure out that if you can kind of create the binary that like things change in this country, you know, in the first half of the 20th century and like in the 60s and 70s, they got real change done to a certain extent.
And I think, but it was like slower, it was incremental.
People were like, you know, didn't make it, it wasn't like kind of led by, it was, you know, a lot of like lawyers gave up their time and like, and then, and people were activists for years, you know, it was like, and now it just seems much more like all at once and you fizzle out and you lose it and then just kind of you don't have the in-between of just kind of it was normal.
It's normal that we all kind of like patiently work for things.
No, it's just like everything or nothing.
So it's like, it's just how they keep a grip.
It's like, you know, if you want to be a, you know, go, you can go on, you know, in public and be a fucking, you know, you can kind of be a loud mouthpiece for a while, but it's not going to sustain.
The world is so ridiculous.
And when I put on that hoodie, I'm like, oh, well, I'm just taking my place in insanity now.
Yeah.
In the way, in a way that I kind of like understood and it resonated with me immediately because I'm like, you know, you're listening to D'Amato talk, it's cocksuckers, this crook, this motherfucker, Julian, this motherfucker.
And you realize that really is what it is.
Like, you know, Trump doesn't pay anybody in Biden.
He's a cocksucker crook.
And you're like, oh, there's that, which is kind of the way it is.
And then you could either live in that and God bless you, try to wade through those murky waters and keep your soul.
God love you.
Or you could just kind of buy a ridiculous hoodie.
I mean, how many people are even capable?
Like people, this is myth that life is more than the nice meals and the cigars and the women and the men and whatever the fuck it is, the sensory things.
Even if you are Jimmy Page or whoever, like David Bowie, I mean, how much more satisfied is David Bowie?
I'm sure he's a little, he has something more to look at.
Of course he's more accomplished than, but like how much happier or even just if you're not happy, it's just like how much more like fulfilled is he?
I don't even know.
Like people are often kind of unhappy.
I guess people that feel, you know, when you think about honor and bravery and risk and all these great virtue and all these things that life is supposed to be about, but then you go in the world that we've created, you know, I'm not saying it's impossible to display those virtues.
I'm sure there are ways to do it.
It doesn't help when veterans like can't get healthcare.
Right.
Right.
You go in your wheelchair.
Why can't you walk?
What happened to your leg?
I mean, like, it's just like, it's subliminally like there is.
Trump's 2020 Rallies and God Complex00:04:27
And then you have like Tina 40, who's my favorite out there.
Motherfucker.
Trump 2020, motherfucker.
She's my favorite person because like she's just selling stop to steal hats and Trump forever socks.
And like, she's just like, go to my online store.
Everyone's got an online store.
Like, I get it.
But I mean, that's why it's like, my thing, I'm like, I do a podcast.
I think it's funny.
Buy the merch.
We come up with funny merch and shit like that.
But like, I'm never going to tell you, like, hey, guys, it's going to be okay.
And here's why it's going to be okay because you're going to go to the online store.
Like, Tina 40s, like her, like everything dovetails together.
It's like, go to the online store.
The revolution's here.
We're packing the streets.
We're going to every state capital.
Trump 2020, motherfucker.
I'm like, there's no, there is no Trump 2020.
Was the whole Trump thing just in excuse to sell hats?
I haven't talked about it.
What if we find out he made a like a few billion selling those hats?
Maybe the whole thing's merch.
What if the entire Trump presidency was a merch operation?
Just a crazy merch operation.
Like he showed he showed milk.
He's like, I'm the granddaddy of merch.
What is his post-presidency look like, if you could guess?
I mean, you guys, look.
You buy into this shit.
He's going to be like this big figurehead in the Republican Party.
I don't know.
No.
What?
No.
Look, he might still run four years.
He's crazy that he might.
But either way, he's either going to live in Trump Tower or he might.
I don't want to.
Fall for, like the grift that like oh, they're going to actually arrest him and do all this shit, but they might, and like he might be smart to get out of here and go like to somewhere with, you know, less extradition.
I don't think he's going to do that.
I don't think Biden wants that and I also don't think I mean I, I don't think they're going to do that.
I think that I think he decompresses yeah, sobers up, not from booze he doesn't drink or any of that but I think sobers up from the idea like he'll probably move, like permanently to Mar-a-lago.
I think he'll move permanently to Mar-a-lag.
I think what'll kill him is not going to those rallies.
I think those rallies were everything they were.
He never had those rallies.
He's like it seemed like he was always a grifter and like a cultural.
He became a god yeah yeah, but he never had the like in person, like fucking like the crowd.
Well, he never became a god.
And you know me and you touched on this years ago, the the greatest thing about Trump, I think, or the, the magic, was the implausible becoming the plausible right, the idea that he was winning, the idea that he won, the idea that he was the president.
It's a fairy tale right, it's a fairy tale.
It's an American fairy tale.
Right now, when a guy like him is not the president yeah, it's almost like what are we doing?
You know it, you seem more and more like a crank and it's not fun yeah, because the crank is no longer the president, like you're just a guy yelling oh yeah, and people are kind of gonna be like, how are we gonna be invested in this?
Because there's, you know well, like I don't think he does Trump Tv.
I don't think he does.
He does think he's running in 2024.
He does think that he's not gonna, but he doesn't.
He thinks now, I mean look, he'll probably be dead by then.
Like, he's gonna.
Look he, I really do feel like he he, what's keeping him going is like adrenaline and like he's taking a lot of bad role allegedly uh, and look, i'm just saying like he doesn't seem if trolling, if troll.
We've always remarked how, like these, some of these guys, these deep state guys, always seem to live and like, well, they eat the good food and they take care of themselves, and then we have a guy like this who's just eating trash every day.
He's just taking drug stuff, it's like, but maybe it's.
The greatest drug is narcissism, like we realize.
Maybe we realize that's the ultimate survival.
Nobody wants to hear that, but the ultimate survival mechanism is to just be a soulless narcissist for your entire life.
You know, like that's just gripping to life, that's the way to survive.
Everything from Covid to everything, he's just gonna get.
He's gonna get fatter, right.
Uh, he's gonna play golf every day.
Like it's not gonna be remarkable.
He's gonna play golf and get fat.
Uh, fire off a tweet every now and then he'll probably tweet all the time.
He'll probably be cranked out yeah, and people are gonna ignore him now.
Yeah, it's just gonna be.
Uh, like you, we're gonna remark how.
We're gonna at one point say wow, We underestimated how much damage he could still do.
We'll have to say that at some point.
Yeah, man.
Because he will do so.
He will close something.
I mean, maybe.
Hunting Dreams and Golf Fatigue00:04:07
I don't know.
I'm really wondering.
What's that still from?
I don't know.
My work makes me have them.
The butcher shop I work at has me screensavers on my computer.
I mean, I just don't know.
But, you know, Biden and Kamala, man.
They're going to, I mean, they're going to put people in jail?
You think?
Oh, I don't know what they'll do.
I think we're probably going to get into a war soon.
We might need that.
You know, we need that.
We're not getting out of this economic thing without a few little skirmishes.
But here's the problem.
We don't get out of it with war.
That's the myth.
And I'm not talking about the Henry Hazlitt, like, burning window fallacy.
That's a different thing.
We've had perpetual war for like 60 years now, 75 years.
You don't get like, it doesn't really juke the economy anymore.
Like, it worked in World War II because we didn't have all the stuff.
We had to build it.
Now we like, we keep it.
It does juke the economy for certain sectors, right?
Sort of, I mean, look, here's the thing.
It's kind of getting it backwards.
The economy is set up in such a way where you have to fight wars every 10 years or so just to deplete the stock pile so that you can, these companies who run the economy.
This is what I mean by new one.
This is what I mean.
You got to play.
That's just to keep the status quo.
It's reverse.
It's reversed.
You got to play to pay.
It's not pay to play.
You got to play to pay.
And I think we got to play a little bit so we can pay later.
I mean, I don't know, but.
But that's just to keep that sector from imploding.
That's not even to get it going.
How do you feel you'll get old?
I thought about this the other day.
Do you go to the woods?
I was thinking about this the other day and I go, how am I going to get old?
I'm an Eagles, so I'll go to the woods.
Yeah.
Do you ever think to yourself of getting a nice house in the woods?
Oh, sure.
I would love to have an upstate New York or somewhere like Vermont.
I mean, it's a little cold.
I mean, I prefer somewhere where it's super cold, but you know.
Me and Ben got to decide where we're going to go if we're going to stay in LA, go to Texas, wherever we're going to go.
Texas could be nice.
I mean, like, I'd like to start hunting.
Yeah.
Or just having like...
I would like to do more shit in nature.
I would like to get out of like I'm in New York for the last couple of days.
Man, I love New York to death, but like I walk around the city and I go, there's no part of me that could even ever consider living here again.
Sure.
I look at these people running down the streets and coats and hats.
I mean, I'm like, God, it's funny.
Whatever this was, it felt it.
I'm done with this place in every way.
You can work as OmniCorp or whatever the fuck.
But when you're hunting out there in the Mental, can you throw grenades at deers?
Yes.
That seems fun.
Yeah.
I might want to do that.
I would like to use a grenade launcher so we could kind of really get some cover some ground.
Can you shoot a deer with a potato gun in the head?
Like, it would kill him, probably, right?
You know what a potato gun is?
I don't think there's much you can't do to a deer.
I think if you want to fuck a deer to death, you could.
I don't know if I have the stamina for that.
I might need a.
Dude, what if you went on Rogan and that's all you asked?
You're like, can you shoot a deer with a potato gun?
I don't think so, man.
What would happen?
I don't know, ma'am.
You know, think about deers, ma'am.
You could hurt them, but they're very strong animals.
What if I made it eat a rock?
Would it die?
The problem is you can't get near them, ma'am.
Can't get near them, ma'am.
It's very tough.
So I don't bring Marshall into the woods because it's very hard, ma'am.
Can't get near them.
Right.
It's fascinating.
Can't really get near them.
So, I mean, I think what you would have to do.
You said it on fire, maybe?
Can you set a deer on fire?
Well, there's definitely local laws that will prevent that, man.
There's definitely laws that are, you know, specific to each region.
They're going to prevent that activity because what they want to do is create a kind of a safe environment for hunters to keep these animal populations thriving.
So let me ask you a question.
Have you ever been out there?
Let me ask you a question.
You're incredibly fat, ma'am.
Have you ever thought of getting on a ketogenic diet, doing very high protein, low carb, low sugar, you know, start doing interval training, you know, kind of building muscle, doing a lot of cardio, heavy cardio, things like that?
No, not really.
Now, let me ask you, when you go out in the woods and you see one of these deers, do you ever say, I hate this particular deer?
New Year Resolutions and Streams00:09:40
I hate it.
I want it to die.
I think emotion is a huge problem when you're in that situation.
And what you have to really do is remember the mechanics of what you're doing.
And I think anybody that gets too emotional, ma'am, it's bad.
That's a bad idea, mom.
Because what really happens is it just clouds your, you think I can still do the show after I've done this imitation.
It's not even a good invitation.
You think I'm allowed to do the show?
No?
I don't know.
Ray Comp, it's always great to have you on.
We're going to try to do a New Year's live stream.
You're still down to coming out.
Yeah, definitely.
We don't know how we're going to do it.
We're trying to figure that out.
It's difficult.
We may just end up doing it on YouTube.
I think we'll probably do something like that.
I think at this moment, I don't want to hit people over the head for more money right now because we just did merch and people supported that.
And I appreciate that.
And people support us on Patreon all the time.
Support Ray Comp on Patreon too.
We'll put his links in the description of everything.
He needs to help.
Thank you.
But he doesn't.
I'm sitting right now.
He's a massive.
It's not massive.
It's a small part.
I'm kidding.
No one thought it was massive.
No one thought I wasn't doing it.
I'm not rich.
Yeah, no one thought I wasn't doing it.
No one was like, I knew it.
Nobody thought you were living in the money, the vault from DuckTales.
I can't reach the top and drowning in the gold.
Yeah, I was like, you and Launchpad McQuack are doing backstroke and gold coins.
But I think we might just do a YouTube, you know, two, two and a half hour live stream on New Year's Eve.
And then maybe we'll turn on some super chats.
Maybe people can throw us some money.
But I just, I want to kind of give people a break.
It's been a shitty year.
It's been very hard.
There's a lot of people out there that don't have money.
And I just don't want, I don't want to like fucking ask people to pay.
I think if people don't have any fucking money, and everything that we do in the future, by the way, it's like, even if we do do any of these live events with tickets, we're also going to have a situation where if you don't have the money, you can email and watch it for free, you know, which is the right thing.
But I mean, my agent told me that.
He goes, we got to, he goes, Sam Harris does it like this.
We're like, his fans, if they can't afford it, there's an email.
And I go, listen, you know how many people are going to do that?
I'm looking at you like, what are we doing here?
My fans will do that for the sake of doing it.
They'll be like, yeah, I'm doing some fake business.
But yeah, I mean, I think we're going to go that route of the live stream.
It's just too complex to get anything else ready.
But I do think we're eventually going to start, you know, putting together a platform where we can do, you know, ticketed events, kind of like Segura or Bird are doing, where we could do a three other thing that I hate about YouTube is that we can't stream what we want in terms of like we can't play clips from things, can't play any music or really clips from pop culture bullshit or any other YouTube channel.
But I think on certain platforms, you can do all of that stuff.
But it costs a lot of money to build out those platforms or whatever, set them up.
So you do, you know, you charge people.
It is what it is.
People buy a ticket and then they get like a three hour, no holds barred, completely uncensored live stream where we could play any clip, do anything, talk about it.
And it makes a lot of sense.
I just don't know if we're going to have that together by New Year's.
I imagine we're not.
So I imagine we're just going to kind of have to do it on YouTube and deal with the content restrictions.
Yeah, we should be playing anyway.
We say we're going to play clips and we play like a minute.
Well, we could.
I think it'd be really fun to play a certain show.
No, eventually we'll do it.
But I'm saying, like, we'll still be good without the clips.
Oh, it'd be great without the clip.
What are you doing on New Year's Eve anyway, folks?
Who are you going to watch?
I was going to sign up for Tim and Ray, but they can't play the Bieber.
What are you going to play on?
They can't play Dieper.
Can you imagine we do have one fan that's like totally like, we always think of a great character, like hype beast Chris Hedges, like a guy that he's like, our corporate overlords, but he loves sneakers.
Like he's a hypey.
He realizes everything's fucked and why?
He's like, the oligarchy and the plutocrats, but he just loves sneakers and hoodies.
He's a fresh.
Yeah, he's fresh.
He's like, I just look so goddamn fresh.
He's like, I know I'm serving the plutocrats and the oligarchs that have hollowed out all of our institutions, but I look so fresh.
But yeah, but what are you going to do?
Play the Dobert puzzle on years?
You're not going out.
You're going to need to fucking do something.
Which is cool.
We'll just get some kid whose dad is no longer with us because of the Dobert puzzle.
What was your last memories of your dad?
Was he playing the puzzle?
Did your dad win?
Didn't win, did he?
What was his last?
He fired off one final tweet to Jeffree Star.
Said, favorite dissent, give me money.
Dude, should I start tweeting to Jeffree Star?
Like, under dummy accounts, like horrific things.
Like, hi, Jeffree.
I was raped when I was nine years old.
The trauma of that has just made me unable to, you know, I worked at a factory.
I lost my arm.
Do I get a car?
Oh, did you see if he'll give me five grand?
Okay.
That was funny.
I was raped by a bunch of animals, literal deers.
That's money.
I mean, it's just funny because Jeffree Star looks at those things.
He's like, yeah, I don't know.
That doesn't really.
But I think that doesn't speak to me.
Your tragedy doesn't speak to me today.
Is he like a makeup guy?
Yeah, they're all makeup guys.
Everybody's a makeup guy.
Everybody's selling fucking makeup, man.
It's amazing.
You know, we've talked about it on the show before.
You could use some makeup.
Tell the people where they can find if they want to find you and they haven't found you already.
You need to listen to the cump podcast.
It's become a much bigger following.
People are loving it.
It's grown into something.
It had a slightly rocky start, but it's grown into a really great, absurd.
This is the point the judge goes, sir, there's a missing woman.
There's a missing woman, and there's physical evidence connecting you to her disappearance.
Listen, this podcast has become a lynchpin of satirical, sir.
Once again, listen to me, the cump podcast.
So tell them about cump, and then our love is disgusting.
Well, I was discussing also with Lucy Steiner.
It's something out there like this.
I mean, Tim's got a great thing going.
It's true.
I do something different.
It's not that great.
Also great.
But it's very funny.
It's on different frequencies.
Tim's got a good thing going, but he doesn't have any love in his class.
So he can't even have love.
Even if it's disgusting, he doesn't have it.
But yeah, you sign up for the Cump Patreon, patreon.com slash Raycomp.
Twitter.
I am a wine princess pitch.
I am a wine princess bitch shirts available in crew sweatshirts and t-shirts, all that stuff.
People love them.
I mean, it's a wine bottle with a machete, and it's just your wife loves it.
I should get her own shirt for that.
Phenomenal.
You should get her.
Show the fuck his wife.
She has a shirt.
What do you say?
I should get her on the show.
You keep your hands off this woman.
Well, I don't know if she wants it more form-fitting.
Yeah.
Will you leave her format?
I should come over her house.
Let me finally measure her.
Listen, when your wife shit on me, maybe she should poop on me.
So, you know, Twitter, Instagram at Raycump.
Yeah, you know, there's a whole world of cump out there.
Come join.
Come join the world of cum.
Yeah, I mean, what do we have to plug, Ben?
Do we have anything?
Patreon.com to Tim Dylan show for additional bonus content.
The merch is closed.
We appreciate that.
We'll be back in maybe the spring.
We'll do a drop.
We have some cool ideas, cool designs, shit like that.
New studio being designed.
We do apologize that this is another non-video episode.
Our next episode will be video from our new studio.
Will our sign be ready?
Yes, it will.
So that's going to be a new episode from our new studio.
Very excited about that.
It was just built and designed.
And this is our episode from New York City with Ray Cump in Brooklyn.
Parting thoughts, closing words.
What are you telling people?
The holidays are coming up.
You'll be around for New Year's.
You could give them some thoughts on that.
But I mean, for the Christmas holiday, what are you telling the people for the Hanukkah and the Kwanzaa?
Stop looking for meaning in corporate entertainment and corporate sex, you know, these corporate models.
Find someone who will touch you willingly and just caress them and sing to them.
Let them sing to you.
Buy shirts.
This is beautiful.
Buy merch if you want, if that fulfills you, but just find out who you are at your core.
And then just, you know, as gross as it may be.
You don't have, there isn't, there's no more, the patina is gone.
You don't have to hold yourself towards.
There's no Don Draper.
There's no Tom Cruise.
You know, Tom Cruise is screaming at some guy because he's not wearing a mask on the Senate Mission Impossible.
Prison Tedium and Real Life00:02:01
Just be who you are.
Eat buffalo wings.
You know, yell at your kid.
And just, you know, like, love your wife.
Love your husband.
Who gives a shit?
Will you instruct a descendant to answer the question when he saw, when he last saw the victim alive?
When did he last see the victim alive?
You can stop all the talk about the patina and everything going on.
When did you last see the victim alive?
Was she in your car?
Advice of counselor.
But then just start going right back to it.
Who we are is so important.
Francis Scott Key once said.
You know, it's interesting.
We've never been to jail.
I've never been to like, I've never gone to prison.
Like, you as a prisoner, you mean?
You're just been in the city?
Yeah, I've never been in.
No, I've been in a jail.
I've been in a cell because let's make a license.
But like, it's got to be something interesting about doing time in prison.
I don't want to.
I don't want to do it.
I mean, I've had, like, I spent a better part of a day in prison or jail.
And you get a taste of that.
It's just, it's kind of crazy how it's something where, like, you spend your whole life thinking of it.
Something's always in your head, even though, like, we privilege and all that.
We didn't have to as much.
But it's still, it's something that hangs over your head.
And then when you're actually there, though, there's something about the, like, the tedium of that day.
It's like, oh, this must be the worst thing in the world for like, you know, two years.
If you're there for, you know, prison's bad, is my point.
Is it?
No, I know.
I don't know where I was going with that.
I'm just, I just try to like your workout ideas.
And I thought maybe I just can't wait.
You think maybe you'd like to go to prison?
Is that your point?
No, I just think that like white women will eventually start going on vacations to prisons.
Like they'll make Angola into like a bed and breakfast.
And then like people just have like, they'll be eating it like, you know, you know, I've talked about this before in the show, but like there's definitely going to be a time when they like like debt the electric chairs, like people doing selfies in it.
And like, you know.
Well, they did that in Alcatraz.
Prison is, yeah, they did that.
The Pope on OnlyFans00:04:15
Absolutely.
Prison is so weirdly inhumane.
Obviously, you need prisons.
But like, it's just one of these archaic things where, you know, it really does just destroy people.
Oh, yeah.
Look, it's just.
You need them for a certain percentage of the population, which is a fraction of what it is now.
Like, it's just, you know what I mean?
Like, it's just, it's so obviously run for profit.
It's run like, you know, this lobbyist to keep certain laws in place to keep certain people in the prison.
It's not, not just the private prisons.
It's just a whole, it's a huge racket.
It's just another, you know, segment of the economy and the government and the military, like, like the military.
Like, you know, it's like, once the military industrial complex became a thing, then you had to find a reason to fight wars.
And once the prison thing became, you had to find a reason to keep people in prison.
It's just, you know, and like the police guard lobbies will lobby against pot smoking being legal.
There's no even like...
Yeah, there's no correlation other than you want more prisoners.
Right.
I love that.
What is it?
The corrections officers will be like, we don't want popping legal.
Right.
Yeah.
It's like it's just literally like the only argument you can make is like, well, there's going to be less jobs for us.
It's just like when the Pope was every few years, the Pope sends people.
Did you see the Pope liked an Instagram?
Like he liked some chick on OnlyFans or something, some Instagram.
Yeah, and he got in trouble.
Why does he even have an actual account?
I don't know, dude.
Something happened.
The Pope uses the Pope account.
Unless it's a total fake story, the Pope liked a girl on Instagram or something.
There's probably honestly some dude who runs the Pope's account who also has another thing on his phone and he flips the profile.
Right.
Because I'm just saying, I just don't imagine the Pope being allowed to use the Pope's account.
I don't think the Pope dates women.
That Pope is.
There's so much about how good of a guy he is.
I think the Pope's likes little hoodie.
But the Pope, the Vatican would send.
What if the little hoodie started dating the Pope?
Is that allowed?
We're going to such hell.
Ben, what is it?
Yeah, the Pope liked that OnlyFans bikini model with a photo on Instagram.
Yeah, the Pope liked an OnlyFans bikini fan.
Yeah.
I saw it on Instagram.
I don't think the Pope is.
By the way, here's what's crazy.
That's the healthiest thing that's ever happened to the Catholic Church.
What's about to come out about the Pope?
Yeah, how many?
He's a heterosexual that likes women.
Like, that's the healthiest thing the Catholic Church has ever had.
This whole school is about to whistleblow on the Pope.
Go like some Pamela Anderson pool.
Yeah, go like some.
Imagine that, right?
That's so funny.
Yeah, this Pope is involved in this horrible rape scandal with this girl's school in Sierra Leone.
It's like, hey, man, just go like a couple of some gash on Instagram.
You know what?
I love Belladonna.
Yeah.
She really gaps.
Throw him off the set.
What's the Pope's name?
Pope Francis.
Pope Francis, you got to throw him off the set.
Go like Bella Thorne's fucking bikini picture right now.
Throw him off the set.
So when these 19 kids come out and say they've witnessed you fucking sacrificing their friends, you have a fucking alibi.
Like the Pope's like, I'm just a man trying to get my dick whipped.
You know how it would be.
You know how it would be.
Wouldn't it be great if that was the Pope's Instagram?
Like, you know how it'd be.
Dude, what about Hype Beast Pope?
He just starts coming out like bathing ape, like Pope clothes.
He's like, man, he's like, listen, he's like, I believe in salvation.
Then I put that fucking bathing ape hoodie on.
And I just said to myself, Dude, what a great futuristic novel where the Pope is just a hype beast walking around Los Angeles, just drugged out of his head.
Like, that's like a brilliant novel that would win a poet.
Like, the Pope, like, like 200 years in the future, the Pope, not even like 10 years in the future.
Let me calm that down.
Four years in the future.
The Pope is a hype beast who's just walking around Los Angeles, getting high with a cannabis company.