Tim discusses the wonderful men that grow up to be police officers, the Stunning Estate documentary on Netflix, shopping at Target, and the iconic show "Looney Tunes." Bonus Episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-tim-dillon-show/ Please Support Our Sponsors: WALLETS - www.ridge.com/tim to get 10% off a ridge wallet. UNDERWEAR - https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ and order with PROMO CODE Tim to get 20% off your first order VPN - https://www Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Burn Targets Down Regularly00:14:42
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tin Dylan show.
Can everybody just be nice?
Just be nice.
That's the ethos of America: just be nice.
Can't you be nice?
Everybody's got problems.
Everybody's got problems.
Even the cop who put his knee on that guy's neck and murdered him.
Doesn't he deserve our pity?
Shouldn't we be nice to him?
Shouldn't we be nice to people?
Shouldn't we be nice to Target?
Why not?
It's Target.
It's our friend Target.
It's Uncle Target.
Why in God's name would you ever damage a hair on the head of Uncle Target or Aunt AutoZone or Dyke Ant?
These are corporations.
They're our family.
They're family.
They're more important than people.
Well, corporations are made of people, Tim.
Shut up.
They're made of slaves and drones with a few people.
What is what is it accomplished to burn down your community?
What?
What community?
The people that are burning the community down don't own the community.
They've been prevented from doing so with laws that have prevented them from owning the things.
So maybe they don't have an attachment to it like you do.
Maybe they're not as attached to it as you are because they didn't inherit a home with a nice lawn and a big backyard and they didn't get a small business loan to start a business.
They don't feel as connected to the community as you do because cops can put, you know, can step on their throat whenever they want.
So they don't feel as connected to the community.
Why would they ever touch Target?
That's where I buy Taoff.
You should be looting Target regardless of what the fucking cops do.
You should loot Target every day.
You should wake up, leave your house, and loot Target.
The government of this country shut down the economy, gave you $1,200 and gave billionaires the rest of that bailout.
It was the largest transfer of wealth in fucking human history, and people are upset because somebody ran out of Target with a panini press.
Grow the fuck up.
Forget for a minute George, what's his name, George Floyd?
Forget that for a second and just think about what else has gone on in the past three months.
The idea that the brick, you know, and I'm not for violence.
I don't want anybody hurt.
And I don't want anybody's private property fucked with.
And I know that that's what's coming.
And I know that these riots, they just, you know, these violence begets violence.
But as an observer to look back and to not realize why this is happening and why that it has a justification, it means that you're not paying any fucking attention and haven't been.
Things ain't good.
They ain't good.
I know they're good on Netflix.
I know they're nice.
The TV shows you watch.
Just be nice.
Just be nice out there.
Don't call anyone names.
Well, things are much worse than that.
They're further along the line.
They're further down the line than just that.
There's a lot of luxury problems we have in this country.
And there's a lot of people that don't have the luxury of having those problems.
They don't have food.
Their water is the color of Nestle quick.
And the cops have been putting their kids in jail, have been putting them in jail.
And I mean, listen, I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know what to tell you.
But the whole idea of like, we're going to do a beer summit where Obama is going to go down there and have a beer with this cop and forgive him.
And then the cop's going to go on Ellen and do a 1970s style dance.
He's going to, or he's going to do some old Depression era big band dance.
He's down there doing the Charleston with Ellen.
It's not going to work anymore.
It's just not going to work.
People have had it.
I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sorry.
Yes, I would like to live in a world where things aren't burning down and there's not civil unrest in the streets.
But I mean, if anybody has been paying attention to anything that has ever happened, even if you were paying attention by accident, you kind of get where this has been going.
You get where it's been going.
I don't really feel bad for Target.
I don't feel bad for AutoZone.
You know, that police precinct got burned because, and I love, by the way, they just charged the cop.
We're recording this Friday.
They just charged the cop, you know, and, you know, people are like, they don't know what new evidence the cop looked at, the DA looked at that made him charge the cop.
It's like, yeah, the looting, the burning of the city made the DA go, you know what?
Maybe we should like charge the cop who did this and arrest him.
I don't know.
Maybe George Floyd died of coronavirus.
I don't know.
That's the next thing.
You're going to be like, well, he's tested positive for COVID-19.
I don't know.
I'm unaware of what happened, but I'll tell you this.
The amount of people out there defending Target, I find to be laughable.
People should burn Targets down on the reg, on the regular.
Burn Target down.
Gives a fuck.
Well, there's employees to Target.
Yeah, I'm sure they're upset.
Sure they're upset they can't go in and work at Target.
I'm sure there's a lot of tears flowing right now for the employees of Target that they can't go to Target because it got torched.
You know?
So that they don't have the honor of working at Target and then leaving and having a cop stomp on their throat on the way home from Target.
Yeah, why change that world?
It's been working so well for everybody.
It is what it is, folks.
You know, I'm not a proponent of people getting hurt.
And I know it's easy for me to say shit on Twitter because I'm not out there throwing Molotov cocktails, you know, but I mean, what am I supposed to sit in judgment of people who are and be like, they're thugs and animals?
It's like, yeah, dude, cops don't treat me the way they treat black people.
I'll tell you that much.
They just don't.
You know, I did drugs.
I grew up on Long Island.
Me and my friends drove around very wealthy areas.
We got high a lot.
We drove around mansions smoking weed.
Seldom bothered by police.
You know?
Seldom pulled over.
I drove drunk a lot.
A lot.
Hammered.
Yes.
Have I been pulled over?
Yes.
Has my license been suspended?
Yes.
Have I had interactions and run-ins with cops?
100%.
But you want to look at the percentage of those versus a percentage of law-abiding black.
I was breaking the law.
Law-abiding black people have much higher percentages of having incidents with police, and they're much more likely to be killed.
They're much more likely to be taken into jail and arrested.
So when people get angry when this thing happens, and then people go out there and they set fire to places, it's because they are powerless.
They have no power.
You've given them no power in society.
They don't believe.
I mean, dude, Epstein victims should be doing this.
We're going to talk about that documentary in a second.
But it's like, yeah, these are children that were being fucked on an island by a guy who got away with it.
He got away with it.
I mean, the looting shouldn't end in this country.
I mean, again, not that I want to see the results of it.
None of us do.
But if you think logically about it, the bricks should just keep going through the windows.
Really?
If you think about it, the amount of injustice that you just have to swallow every day.
Well, all right.
I guess that guy hung himself in the jail with the cameras on.
And now all of the criminals, sex criminals, pedophiles, murderers potentially, they all can just, none of them will, none of their lives will be affected at all by this.
It's just neat, tidy.
Guy killed himself.
That's over.
There you go.
You know?
So the anger, the rage that builds in people, it's just fucking, it's real.
You know?
It's real.
I threw a griddle at someone today.
I threw a McGriddle right in someone's face because I want to be involved in a limited capacity.
So I took a McGriddle and I just slapped someone right across the face with a McGriddle.
And I said, no justice, no peace.
And I walked out.
Okay?
Because I want to be involved.
I chucked a McGriddle right at someone's grill unapologetically.
Okay?
If I go to a 7-Eleven, I see those red box DVD things.
I'm going to fuck one of them up if they're still there.
I don't know if they are.
But if they are, I'm going to light that up.
Let's torch it.
Let's torch it.
Why the fuck not?
No justice, no peace.
I have the address of my parents.
If anyone wants to go over there, wake them up.
We'll be sharing that later on Twitter.
They live in a wood house.
It'll go up easy.
Teach them a lesson.
No justice, no peace.
I have the addresses of many people I feel have fucked me over in the business.
I should be bigger.
I have their addresses.
Maybe go to their community, stand outside their homes, wake them up.
Show them reality.
No justice, no peace.
These are just thoughts and ideas.
I'm an activist.
You understand?
So, if you would go to my parents' house and burn it down, I'd be very grateful.
And I think we could move the country forward.
If you see my aunt Kathleen out, throw something at her.
No justice, no peace.
If you see her out on Facebook, grab her phone, take her phone.
These are just ideas.
These are just ideas because I'm an activist and I want to help.
I want to help.
Okay?
That's all.
I think we could join the two protest groups: the people that want to open everything up and the people that want to burn everything down.
I have a solution.
Let's open it up.
Let's eat and then let's burn it down.
That is a solution.
I can bring both sides of this country together.
Let's open it up.
Let's get a Tostado Nachos.
Let's get a three-for-all.
Let's get a Jack Daniels whiskey glaze chicken sandwich.
Let's get a brownie obsession.
And then when they say, here's the check, go, no, here's the check and burn it the fuck down.
But let's have a meal first.
Let's have a meal.
And then let's bring it.
Let's come together now.
Let's go in.
Let's sit down and then let's burn it down.
I have no problem.
But let's get in there and let's have a little, let's have a salad with some breadsticks, a little ranch dressing, and some bacon bits.
We deserve it.
We went through a quarantine.
Let's open these places up.
Let's force them to serve us.
And then let's torch them.
It's okay.
Smack the waitress with a fish sandwich.
Not a problem.
Just tell her what it is out there.
I'm an activist.
No justice, no peace.
Okay?
None of it's my fault, but it's okay.
I'm part of the problem.
I'll be part of the solution.
Let's open up and let's burn down.
Minneapolis looking like a third world country, looking like a war zone.
It's bad out there.
Yes, a lot of these protesters are Looney Toons.
A lot of these protesters are not what you would call upstanding members of society.
Many of them, and if I sat down with them, we'd probably not agree on a lot of things.
I get it.
They probably want to abolish private property, capitalism, the police.
No, we're going to have to have a society.
I'm sorry.
We're going to have to have a society.
But in between total apathy and burning everything down, in the middle of that, we can burn down the homes of my parents and show people that they have to be accountable for the decisions that are made by their police and the district attorney.
In between total apathy and Total chaos, we can live in the middle by going and looking at the list of names that I'm going to put on Twitter and waking them up.
Hollywood Controls The Narrative00:10:25
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Yeah, the Epstein doc, what did you expect it was gonna be?
What did you think it was gonna be?
Bill Clinton confessing?
You think it was gonna happen?
Think it was gonna be just Slane Maxwell?
She's on the thing like, hello, here's my story.
It's Laiji Gisline.
I bet Jeffrey, we were both kids.
Like, no, it's you know, one thing I let me tell you what my biggest takeaway from the Epstein documentary on Netflix was: man, Palm Beach is fucking legit.
You don't see money like you do in Palm Beach.
Let's not forget that.
The East Coast invented fucking money.
Let's not forget it.
There are three places on this in this world that you see mansions like that.
And they are Long Island, New York, the Gold Coast of Long Island, where the Vanderbilt and the Guggenheims and all those motherfuckers lived.
Newport, Rhode Island, and Palm Beach, Florida.
Makes Bel Air and Beverly Hills look like fucking track houses.
I'm talking 50-room stone castles, marble.
Beautiful.
That's the takeaway.
Let's be honest.
You do not feel as bad for the kids when you've seen the homes.
What do you want to do?
Work at the gap?
Shut up.
Now, I'm against the pedophilia and the murder, but let me tell you right now, it's a goddamn stunning estate.
It's a beautiful property.
It's an iconic property.
It's a nice place to be raped.
Not, I am not for rape.
But if we went down the list of places to be sexually assaulted, Palm Beach, I mean, the Franklin scandal, these kids are getting sacrificed in barns in fucking Omaha.
They were eating at waffle houses.
This is Palmotherf.
Private islands, ranches in New Mexico, limestone mansions right by Central Park in New York City.
That's what you took away from the there's nothing else there.
I mean, you know, the entirety of the story of the entire documentary is that they divorce it from any historic precedent of this happening before.
And when the Vicki Ward, who's a journalist, who when I had Whitney Webb on the program, and if you watched a Whitney Webb show, you know that a lot of what you learned in the Epstein doc you had previously learned on my show and more, by the way.
And don't get it twisted, censorship's not all about not letting the information come out, this online censorship.
It's about they want to dribble it out and they want to earn all the money off it.
So don't kid yourself.
It's not only that they don't want it to come out, they want it to come out in their fucking mini-series.
They want it to come out the way they, you know, when they can profit off it, okay?
That's why when the Epstein story happens, you know, people go in and buy the rights and these mega Hollywood guys get the rights to these stories because then they're controlled how the narrative is told to people and the money, you know.
So it's not just about we don't want the info out.
A lot of it is that.
But then some of it's like, we're going to have to put some of it out, if not all of it, but we're going to earn the money from it.
We don't want all these independent people, you know, reaching audiences and building any type of equity in their own operations online.
We want to control the flow of information and capital to us.
So the Epstein documentary, you know, in the beginning, Vicki Ward, who's the journalist, we don't know if we trust.
I don't know.
Whitney's very skeptical of her.
I haven't done any research into it.
It does smell a little fishy.
She wrote an article about Epstein for Vanity Fair.
Vanity Fair supposedly refused to publish it.
But Vicki says in the beginning, she's like, yeah, Epstein was this Gatsby-like man of mystery.
And so automatically, immediately in the beginning of this series, you go, oh, this is a superhuman guy who's very mysterious.
He's a once-in-a-lifetime figure.
He's just a character with all these powers that we don't know how he has any of them, but he's just this island, so to speak, no pun intended, unto himself, which isn't true.
Okay, Les Wexner is mentioned briefly.
It's like in a very, in a very like barely important way.
And Les Wexner is kind of portrayed as a victim.
This billionaire is a victim of Jeffrey Epstein.
This guy who owns Victoria's Secret and the Limited and Jay Crew, I believe, I'm not sure, but he owns the first two.
He's a billionaire.
The largest, most expensive residence in Ohio was a victim of Jeffrey Epstein.
He just got conned by this dictionary salesman going door to door.
Epstein just, Les Wexner just happened to give him a mansion in Manhattan and a ranch and all this money, gave him billions of dollars.
He got swindled by Jeffrey Epstein, supposedly swindled by Jeffrey Epstein, a college dropout from New York City, gets swindled.
All throughout the film, we have to believe that everybody's being swindled and tricked and hustled, and nobody has any clue as to what's going on.
And Epstein gets a job at Bear Stearns, and they find out he never went to school.
And Epstein talks his way back into Bear Stearns.
And okay, maybe, maybe not.
We don't know.
And he got this job at Dalton, this prep school in New York City.
And our current attorney general, Barr, his father, I believe, hired Jeffrey Epstein to teach math at a prep school in New York City, one of the top schools in the country, Dalton.
And he got that job as a college dropout.
And we're asked to believe that all of these things, not one or two of them, but every single one is this happenstance trickery that Jeffrey Epstein is able to just move through all these circles of people, swindle them, take their money, blackmail them potentially.
We don't know, but somehow always come out of a shitstorm smelling like, you know, lilies, flowers.
He's fine.
He's able to do that.
We're all supposed to believe this.
And we don't talk about any historical precedent for this.
None of it is mentioned.
The Franklin scandal is not mentioned.
They do not mention anything about Jimmy Saville, who is a BBC presenter and a heinous pedophile sick sadistic guy.
And they don't go into any of this.
They don't go into any of the credible allegations about the Kekora boys home.
They don't go into any of it.
They don't talk about the Catholic Church.
It's pretty focused primarily on Epstein as this man of mystery.
They don't talk about blackmail operations having been used before, sexual blackmail, underage kids being used before.
No one brings that up.
We're all supposed to just believe that Jeffrey Epstein just exists on this cloud and he's floating above everything and that somehow he's able to make this sweetheart deal, which lets all of his accomplices, named or unnamed.
How insane is that?
You're not even named.
Just anyone that was involved, anyone that had their dick out on that island, you're good.
That was the deal.
And we're supposed to believe that he just, you know, he just lucked into that deal and it's just what it is, just luck.
And Charles Gasperino, you know, that guy from CNBC is like, yeah, you know, he's in the tombs.
It's underfunded.
It's underfunded.
The people that work there, they're not that bright.
You know who's not that bright?
You.
You're not that bright, Charles, because we both know that's horseshit.
We know you can keep somebody alive if you want to.
This was the highest profile criminal in this country, you know, in a long, long, long time.
And the idea that like there was no way to keep him alive is just completely insane.
You had cameras in cells and the guards were asleep and the cameras weren't working.
Anybody believing the official story at this point was in on it.
If you're on social media going, I think that guy killed himself, you know, whether, you know, you're in on it.
You did it.
But that was the Epstein documentary.
People wanted me to comment on that.
There's nothing to comment on, truly.
There's beautiful real estate.
If you like real estate, as I do, many of you know have listened to this program.
I love real estate because many of the people who've succeeded at it seem to be developmentally disabled.
And that gives me hope.
When I watch these television shows and I see the idiots that are able to amass fortunes selling real estate, I believe that I could potentially have a second career.
Real estate's a great fantasy career that I could just sling homes to people.
But that's all you're going to get out of the documentary.
The women that come forward are brave.
They should be listened to.
It's heart-wrenching.
The types of girls that they preyed upon are girls from broken homes that had suffered abuse.
I mean, it's not, it's worth a watch.
It's well worth watching.
I'm telling you that.
If it wasn't, I would tell you.
But it's not going to alter your perception of the events.
Brave Women Speak Out00:03:11
There's no real new information.
It's still worth watching.
But it's not so in between, you know, throwing a Molotov cocktail at Boston market.
Go and check it out.
It's nothing else but to see Palm Beach.
It's beautiful.
But that's really what it comes down to, is that you're not going to get a real story in any documentary.
You're not going to get the real story ever.
Sorry.
You know what the real story is.
You know, it was a blackmail operation.
People have secret lives.
They are provided with illicit substances, drugs, people, streams of money.
They're provided with these things and they are to be controlled by people that want to control them.
And one of the ways you control people is by having damaging, potentially damaging information on those people.
And that's what this is.
It's not a huge mystery.
You know, when you start realizing that President Clinton, who was the governor of Arkansas, became the president of the United States, Arkansas, at that point, I don't know what the population of Arkansas was, but I mean, what's the population of Arkansas now?
It's like 3 million.
So at that point, it was probably 1 million.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, it's probably, you know, one and a half, two million people.
And then the guy becomes the president of the United States of America.
Yeah, it was 2.3 million in 1990, Arkansas.
One of the smallest, most inconsequential states in the Union.
But he ends up the president of the United States.
So you start thinking about those things.
How does that happen?
How does that happen?
Is it an accident?
Is it an accident?
Probably not.
You know?
I mean, it doesn't mean that everybody's a pedophile.
It just means that, you know, you have leverage on people.
You know, Obama became the president.
Now, how did that happen?
You know, these men were talented.
They were gifted.
They were driven.
They had all of those things.
I'm not suggesting that either one of them didn't possess superhuman abilities, but somebody's got to sign off.
Somebody's got to sign off.
Somebody's got to loosen the purse strings, open up the vault, and give you all the money.
That's what happens.
Somebody's got to sign off.
Doesn't mean that these stars in Hollywood aren't famous.
A lot of them are famous, but they got to get an opportunity.
Somebody's got to open the door.
You got to get that opportunity.
And that's the same thing as politics.
Doesn't mean everybody gets it from doing something illegal or shady, but that's certainly a possibility in the political realm.
Certainly a possibility.
Someone Must Sign Off00:02:02
So it's well worth a watch.
Go check it out.
But we know what the story is and we just don't talk about it every week.
You know, I think some of you are disappointed.
I just don't talk about it every week.
It's boring.
We know what it is.
Let's figure something else out.
We know what it is.
We're against it.
I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
It's like people are like, why don't you talk more about Don Con Spirit?
What do you want to say?
We did it.
We know what it is.
We figured it out.
I don't know day in and day out what I'm supposed to do.
I don't even know why people are like, you got to have a take on the Epstein dog.
I mean, yeah, you hear it there.
You have it.
I wasn't expecting from it.
I didn't get anything out of it.
I mean, that's the take.
I mean, guys, you have to start understanding there isn't going to be a resolution here.
There's not going.
You guys think this is a television show with a season finale or a series finale.
And it's boom.
It's big.
It's breaking bad.
The last night we all huddle on the couch.
Nothing's going to stop me from watching this.
I'll get in five accidents if I have to and abandon my car.
Fuck my family.
Doesn't matter.
I'm getting in front of that TV because it's all coming to.
The bill is coming due tonight.
The justices serve.
It's not.
No.
It's a show that goes on for too many seasons where you go, ah, this is still, yeah, it's still on, huh?
Yeah, I don't know.
I can't get into it anymore.
It's a soap opera that goes on and on and on.
And when you start to look at it like that, you just start, you get away a little bit.
You take a little breather.
You know, I don't want to do the show every week about Epstein and this one and that one.
I don't want to break my brain.
Many of you have broken your brains.
You don't even know it.
You think Donald Trump's tunneling under Central Park, rescuing kids.
You believe things of which there are no evidence for.
Cops Play Dangerous Games00:06:09
I'll tell you what he's doing.
We're inching closer and closer to a civil war, and he's pouring gasoline on that.
But you guys think he's out there tunneling and helping children.
And I'm so afraid of becoming one of you.
I'm so afraid of having my brain broken.
It's how I make a living.
I earn money because I have a brain and I can speak and I can understand and process things.
You know, some of you, I just, I get so scared of becoming you.
I'm like, what happens?
It's just too many trips.
Too many trips to Reddit, wherever you're going, the forums, too many trips.
And I don't know what happens, but, and it's easy.
It's easy to break your brain.
I'm not the healthiest eater.
It's not like I'm doing like five miles a day in a canyon like Rogan.
Like my brain could easily ooze out of my ear and I could become one of you.
Like a bumbling lunatic, like a babbling psychopath muttering about nonsense, thinking that we were just one week away.
Enjoy the show.
Yeah, we will.
We will enjoy the show.
Fucking lunatics.
I don't know what to do.
I just know that the people I know that became cops were the same kids that were bullying mentally retarded people in my school.
The same kids that were like bullying and spitting on mentally, it's like, it's always that person who becomes a cop.
When you're like, oh, you know the guy that used to, you remember the blind girl?
You know the guy that used to spit on her?
He's the sheriff.
He's the sheriff now.
He used to spit on that blind girl for no reason.
Then she tried to kill herself.
I mean, listen, there's great cops out there.
There's great police, blah, blah, blah.
Whatever disclaimer you want.
And I believe that.
I had uncles that were cops and, you know, they somehow didn't kill anyone.
Or back then there were no phones.
So let's just say Uncle Eddie was one of the good ones.
There's no evidence of that, but let's just say he was.
Let's just say he was.
You know what I mean?
He was just also too fat.
I don't think he ever got out of his car.
And that helps.
People are like, the cops shouldn't be fat.
They should be so fat.
The cops should be the fattest people in society so they can't do anything.
Cops should be 400 pounds minimum and just drive around in fucking little, you know, on scooters like rascal scooters.
Just a morbidly obese police force of fat slobs.
I hate everyone who's like, well, the cops aren't in shape.
That's why they're shooting everyone.
And it's like, no, the cops shouldn't, the cops should not be able to get out of their car without help.
They should have to be helped out of their car.
They grew up with these fake wrestling moves where that's where they're trying all these chokeholds out on people because they grew up watching this and WWF.
They think they're fucking Hulk Hogan and they're killing people in the street, you know?
That's what it comes down to, man.
I'm not saying all cops are bad, but let's be honest.
There's a lot of fucking, there's a lot of cops out there that are probably, you know, people get into games because they want to play.
There's a lot of cop.
So let me just say this.
Let me just say this.
There's a member of my family who's like, he's a good kid, but he's like an, what's the name?
Like an oaf, right?
If he had a name, it would be like Biff.
You know what I mean?
He's just a big oaf.
Good heart.
Not a bad guy, right?
But like in the program to be a cop.
And you know what they got him for Christmas?
They got him a shillale.
A shillale is like an Irish stick for clubbing people.
They got him an old, they got him like an old, I don't think it was a shale.
A shillale is like a gnarled piece of wood, but I think they got him like an old nightstick.
And he was so happy with it.
He was just walking around the house like just, you know, we were all eating cheesecake in the living room.
And then you see this kid who's in his early 20s in the hall pretending to beat people with the nightstick because he just wants to get out and he just wants to, you know, just start beating people in their ribs.
And he goes like this.
And his dad goes, this is going to come in handy one day.
And he goes, yeah, yeah.
And he's swinging the nightstick around.
It's Christmas, by the way.
Get the Halls with.
He's swinging a nightstick around.
Because his perfect Christmas is that he just wants to get out and kneecap somebody.
Silent night.
He's waving the fucking nightstick around.
He's not a bad guy per se, but what is that guy going to do in a high-pressure situation?
What's that guy going to do?
Should we maybe not lead with the nightstick?
And I'm not saying we have to emasculate police.
And I don't want the cities being patrolled by improv troops of fucking testosterone, fucking deprived, parakeet, emaciated males.
But let's be honest, do we just go right for the nightstick up front and go, here's a tool to beat people?
Yeah, this guy tweets.
I don't know if this was a troll or not.
He goes, this is Alex Peroni.
I forget what he used to run.
He used to run a big side.
He still might.
He goes, they can't be reformed to spam the MPD.
It's the Minneapolis Police Department and every other big urban police department.
Hire some detectives to investigate the serious crimes with actual victims and social workers and civil servants for the other duties, pay local bar bouncers and Antifa to patrol neighborhoods.
And I quote tweeted that and I said, this is why the Republican Party endores that type of tweet right there.
Who tweeted that?
Donald Trump Jr.
Seth Simons And Mobs00:09:36
What is that?
No one thinks that's the answer here.
But I don't know if the thing you do is to hand somebody a fucking club.
I mean, when I say this kid was waving around the nightstick like imagine Star Wars without the force.
Like just a lightsaber.
And there is no force that guides you.
And who gives a fuck?
There is no light and darkness.
Just here's the lightsaber and go zap a few motherfuckers that look at you the wrong way.
That's kind of what this feels like.
I wanted to address Seth Simons.
Well, I shouldn't give any more press.
Failed bird poet, cultural critic, clown critic, who criticizes clowns, revolutionary Seth Simons, Without tagging me, of course, went at me on Twitter because of my defense of or not really a defense of Jimmy Fallon doing blackface.
But when I said listen, you know, some things are appropriate at certain times, some things are not.
And it was about the, the sketch that resurfaced with Jimmy Fallon um, you know playing I think it was Chris Rock on SNL.
Yeah, and so Jimmy Fallon writes.
In 2000, while on SNL, I made a terrible decision to do an impersonation of Chris Rockwell and blackface.
There is no excuse for this.
Blah blah, blah.
Thank you for holding me accountable.
So I wrote, I wrote this.
Thank you for all.
Thank you all for holding me accountable, which is what Fallon said.
And I said, it's such an insane statement.
It is, think about that.
Think about that.
Thank you all for holding me accountable.
Is such an insane statement.
Never capitulate to a mob.
I've said this before about mobs.
Sometimes a mob is right.
It's still a mob, right.
Do you get it?
You know so, when you capitulate to a mob and now you're gonna say, well, what about the mobs in the street burning down?
The target is what it is.
I'm not saying all of those people are right about whatever they believe in.
But i'm saying they're angry and that anger is justified.
The anger at Jimmy Fallon doing blackface isn't real.
No one really cares.
That's a big difference there.
The anger here is real.
No one watches the Fallon doing blackface and feels any similarities to watching this guy get his life taken away on fucking camera by a cop.
So there's no comparison.
But I wrote, never capitulate to a mob, fuck these people.
Times change.
What's appropriate changes.
That's true, and I wrote, this isn't about that.
It's about dragging someone because it's the only way to feel powerful.
Obviously we need a second wave, a second wave of coronavirus.
My little joke at the end, which a lot of Seth Simons because he writes about comedy doesn't understand comedy at all, and none of the none of the, I think, 9 000 people who follow him his wide reach none of those people understand comedy either, because a lot of them were like, um, oh yeah eight, not even 8 700, great.
So a lot of those people were like um, are you on my twitter right now?
I'm logged into mine okay okay, interesting.
So he uh, he quote, tweets me, but doesn't quote, tweet me, doesn't tag me.
This is what these people do.
By the way, they talk endless shit about you on twitter and then none of them tag you.
None of them want a response.
They want to.
This is why they love canceling people and dragging people, because they don't want, and that's why they love deplatforming because no one can respond to what they say about.
I don't care.
People make videos.
I'm fat, i'm grow.
I don't care what anyone does about me.
I i'm only addressing this because it's an interesting conversation to have, but most of the things I find them funny.
I don't.
It doesn't bother me.
I make a good living being funny.
And if other people want to talk shit about me, how am I?
I'm not gonna hate on them.
I don't respect them.
I don't respect all those people out there.
I respect people I feel have talent, but it doesn't matter.
I'm not gonna go at you and say you shouldn't have a platform.
Who gives a fuck?
You want to call me fat?
Do it.
I do it, you can do it.
I mean, what do you?
What do you want to do?
What am I supposed to take you to court?
Show up, be like your honor, the I like I can't even breathe.
I'm like the implication that i'm all the way is gonna and Ray comes defending me.
He's there like your honor.
Listen to me.
You can see.
My client is a beautiful man.
Who cares?
Cares.
So Seth Simons goes, the wealthiest people in show business should never have to answer to anyone.
This is Seth's attempted sarcasm.
Seth again, not great.
Wealthiest people in show business should never have to answer to anyone.
Blackface was appropriate in 2000.
People who upset about it aren't actually upset about it.
Jesus.
Here's the reality.
Blackface was done frequently by lots of people.
And people laughed at it.
And it wasn't.
Now, was it appropriate in the sense that like, was it ever morally true?
Who the fuck, you know, who knows?
But the idea that it wasn't done, white people dressed up as characters that were black and imitated them.
You know, when now looking at that, you go, oh, yeah, that wasn't great.
But to say that in the year 2000, that it was like some deep, deeply offensive thing in the context of the time, it wasn't.
And I can prove it wasn't because it was done on a mainstream show and no one cared.
Black people, you know, might have been upset about it.
Maybe they didn't have the platform to talk about it.
But the reality was it wasn't like this shocking thing.
So when I say times change, the word faggot was appropriate at a certain point.
And not that it was ever correct.
It wasn't moral.
Never calling a gay guy a faggot was never moral.
But using the word in your lexicon of words that you used at one point was appropriate.
Most people don't use that word.
Most people I know don't use that word all the time now because what is appropriate changes.
Just changes.
People used to be like, that's gay all the time.
People used to be like, that's gay.
Most people don't do that anymore.
Things evolve.
And the people that are still doing that are just holding on to these things and they're dinosaurs.
They won't evolve.
They won't make any money.
And they're just going to be like, that's gay.
And they want to hold on to that.
You want to hold on to saying the word gook or whatever you want to, you know, forever or some other offensive thing or doing an Asian accent?
Fine.
Do it.
I might laugh at it.
I might think it's funny.
But the vast majority of people coming up in the world right now, it's hack.
It's over.
It's been done.
Find new ways to make people laugh.
That doesn't mean you got to go full in the net, but it means you evolve, okay?
But this guy paints me like a Charlottesville marcher because I have said that I think it's a little, you know, the priorities are odd to me.
Digging up old SNL skits in a country where 30 million people are out of work in the last three months.
Nobody has any fucking health insurance.
The cops are murdering people.
The cities are literally burning, which this guy is tweeting nothing about.
He's focused on Jimmy Fallon's 2000 SNL slate of sketches.
I tweeted it's ridiculous.
So then he goes down in the article and he goes, this guy, meaning yours truly, this guy pays the left enough lip service that I think a lot of people miss where his sympathies actually lie.
Because I pay the left a lot of lip service.
Okay.
My sympathies lie with humor.
My job is to be funny.
My opinions really don't matter.
And I'm truly telling you this.
They don't matter.
I share them with you anyway.
I share them anyway.
Some of them are funny.
Some of them are not.
Some of them are correct.
Some of them might not be.
But they're not my job.
It's not my job.
My job is to be funny and to process things that are happening in real time because I have talent.
I have actual talent.
Seth does not have any talent.
It's just, and I'm sorry about that.
I would love a bigger penis.
I would like a six-pack.
I want a little bit more melanin in my skin so that it doesn't blister and boil like a disgusting Irish piece of shit.
Seth Has No Talent00:15:11
I want a lot of things.
One thing I have is talent.
One thing Seth does really not have is talent.
I apologize that you were given none of this thing that I possess that I've worked pretty hard to acquire.
So he says that I pay the left lip service.
I pay everyone lip service in the sense that like all I do is flap my fucking lips.
That's my job, dummy.
Just so it's like it's like me saying he pays the left he pays comedy finger service because he's just typing all the time.
But where my sympathies actually lie, I thought Sanders would have been a great candidate.
Would he have been a great president?
I don't know.
Could he have gotten anything done?
I don't know.
But he would have been a great candidate.
I think people should have health insurance.
I don't think health insurance should be a business.
But again, I'm not a Marxist.
I believe in private property, private ownership, private business.
I believe you should be able to lock yourself away from society as long as you pay your taxes and you follow the law and shit like that.
I believe you shouldn't have a secret government of dark money pedophiles running around the world starting wars to enrich themselves and their friends.
I don't know.
Draw a line around those positions and come up with a party.
And I'm that.
That's what I believe.
Draw a line around that and come up with that.
I would prefer if dark money billionaires didn't arrange wars all over the planet, impoverished vast amounts of people, rape, torture, murder, censor, destroy everything that was good.
I'd rather everything not be corporatized and turned into an advertisement for Chase.
I like independence and autonomy.
I think I want to live in a Stanhopean future where we all have little homes in Bisbee, Arizona, and little bingos and dogs and cats that seem to die and that somehow never do.
And then just, I mean, I don't know, but I said that Ron Bennington today.
Ron Bennington is the best broadcaster in the country, hands down, by the way.
He's my favorite person that broadcasts.
If you don't listen to Bennington, you're an idiot.
I grew up listening to Bennington.
I listen to him constantly.
He has a better take on most things than most people.
I've been listening to him since I'm 14 years old.
And I called him to a show today, which is an honor to do, to talk to the guy.
And that's why everybody is like, oh, you met this celebrity and that celebrity.
Being able to call into Ron Bennington and perform at Ron Bennington means more to me than any of these fucking people that I see or be that are in LA or at the comedy store.
Oh, Janic Datum thinks you're funny.
Who gives a fuck?
Is he going to face fuck me later?
Probably not.
So the reality is, but I was talking to Bennington today and I was describing what I think the world was going to look like.
And he goes, he goes, most people describe a world where they're going to participate in it.
He goes, this is not a world for you.
I said, not at all.
The world that's coming will not be a world for me.
And that's okay.
I'll perch myself on the outside of it and do what I have to do.
Because the world that's coming is a world where the internet's flattened everybody.
Individuality is just not going to matter as much as it can't.
It can.
It just won't.
I'm not telling you right or wrong.
I'm telling you what's going to happen.
People have been flattened.
Their formative experiences.
Some are rich and poor.
And there's vast differences in the way that people grow up and the level of privilege they have or whatever.
But because everything is online, many of these people's formative experiences and cultural interactions are very similar.
So, you know, when you go out to dinner with people, it's hard now to find a real character.
That's what I was telling Bennington, like a real character where it's like, you know, the expression used to be like, well, were you raised in a barn?
Who is this guy?
Who is this person?
Somebody that was just to thumb their nose at every social convention that came from nowhere, that got off some bus and you were like, what the fuck is this person?
You're going to see a lot less of that because everybody's been flattened.
It's going to get boring, but maybe it'll be better.
Maybe the individuality, you know, and again, I don't care.
I have no say in which way it goes, but maybe with a lot of that individuality came uncertainty and risk.
And, you know, there's, you know, Jeffrey Epstein was an individual.
You know, can't say he wasn't.
So the reality is the future that's coming is not a future that I'll feel terribly comfortable in.
But that's why I do the job I do because I can kind of perch myself on the outside of it.
So Seth does his thing.
So what's interesting is in the thread, this is something I didn't realize was going to happen.
Somebody posted a Reddit thing from Chris Gethard.
And this kind of struck me as odd because Chris Gethard was a friend of mine.
I don't hate Chris Gethard, but I thought this was very strange that this was done.
And I will read this comment.
Chris Gethard answered one of his fans on Reddit, who I guess asked why the election night special that I filmed with Ray Cump and Chris did not air.
Me and look at this.
Somebody comments, I love it.
They go, he said blackface was appropriate in 2000.
Shaking my head.
Well, where were you in 2000?
I mean, it's like, I didn't say I wasn't doing it in the year 2000.
I was doing cocaine and selling subprime mortgages because I wasn't a fucking loser.
I didn't do that until 2004.
Doesn't matter.
The point is that, so Chris Gethard writes this thing, which I find, and I'll read it to you.
And I found this to be a little disappointing.
And I'll go into it.
I'm not going to make a huge thing out of it.
So this, again, somebody asked where this election special was.
And if you know anything about me and Ray in the show, the election special with Chris Gethard descended into chaos, descended into a hellscape.
Why?
Because me and Ray were brought in.
Now, picture this.
Chris Gethard is an improv comic who does stand-up.
He's more of a storyteller.
He had a show for many years.
Me and him shared the same manager.
Chris introduced me to the manager.
I would go on the road with Chris.
Chris is a very creative guy.
He's very open and honest about his struggles with mental illness and things like that.
I always used to kid around and be like, how mentally ill is he?
Because my mother has really schizophrenia.
But she's not in Rolling Stone.
She doesn't have an HBO special, you know?
But I'm not saying that he doesn't suffer from it.
I'm sure he does.
I'm just saying there are levels, you know?
So many of his, much of his fan base also struggles with mental illness.
Let's be honest.
I used to open for him.
They come, they sit on the floor.
They sit Indian style.
You know, it's, you know, every show you feel like you're performing in a rehab.
And that's okay, but it's what it is, right?
And he lives in kind of this terror of being canceled by them because that's his bread and butter.
That's where he makes his money.
And I understand that.
So a lot of these fans are not in love with yours, truly.
And they were at one point, but after Donald Trump won the election, these people then decided that anyone that wasn't going to tweet 20 times a day about how insane it was and that we were now living in hell.
And as a white guy, I'm supposed to go on Twitter every day and be more offended and more affected than minorities, which is what I found ridiculous.
So me and Ray, let's all picture this.
And I've told this story before on the show, but we're telling it again because I was kind of shocked by this comment, a little shocked by it.
Me and Ray show up because they said to us, you know, again, I used to write these long screeds on Facebook that were very funny.
I had no money.
I was making $15 an hour, not even as a tour guide in New York City.
For 40 hours of work, that was about $280 after taxes and everything.
It's horrible, which is why I've always said working people get fucked, right?
Now I'm doing that and I make tips.
I maybe make $50 or $100 a day cash tips, but you know me, I go have dinner and it's over, right?
So I should have, you know, but I had enough money to survive, but I was like not making any money.
But I write these long screeds about like defending billionaires and it was hilarious, you know, and how people didn't deserve money and everything.
It was very, very funny.
And it was all very, very funny.
And everyone thought it was funny because it was very funny.
It wasn't political.
They're not political.
I'm a tour guide talking about, you know, mansions and homes.
And they're all on a Tumblr.
I'll share them, whatever.
None of them are political.
And then occasionally I'd poke holes and like something like when people would be like say something political that was always far to the left.
I would always challenge it, right?
Same way if somebody's far to the right.
I would just challenge things and poke holes and things.
And that was all okay up until Donald Trump won the election.
And at that point, people were like, oh my God, this is dangerous.
This rhetoric is dark.
You're part of the problem.
It's people like you that got Donald Trump elected.
It's people like you that are the reason things are blah, blah, blah.
And it was like, it was like, I was like stunned by like the about face turn that a lot of these people made.
Not really.
I wasn't affected so much, but like just look at what comedy then went through after the election.
People were coming after comedians and canceling people.
And it became this political battleground that it had never been.
And I'm not going to ad nauseum talk about it because we all know what it was like.
And every podcast was full of these discussions and debates, you know, about PC culture and all this bullshit.
So Chris called me and he goes, I want you to come election night.
I'm doing a show and I'm doing a show on election night and I want you and Ray Cump to show up because Hillary's going to win and you guys are going to be like the heels.
And it's going to be hilarious to have you guys come in and be like these, we were never Trump supporters.
Neither one of us cares.
I mean, it's like, I didn't care.
I mean, now, I mean, with the city's burning, it's like, yeah, but a lot led up to Trump.
I don't, I don't think Trump's good for the country in the same way that I wouldn't have Caitlin Jenner be the president or anyone I know primarily from my television set.
So he calls me up and he goes, come by.
I forget the way he worded it, but he's like, you and Cump are going to be the like, you're going to deliver like this hard edge realism.
And I'm going to read you his comment and he describes it better.
He's more eloquent about this particular, what he wanted out of this night.
So me and Cump come in barging in and, you know, dialing it up.
Being me and Cump, two fat, loud guys on a set with a bunch of very, very liberal, very left-wing, improv comedy people.
There's a guy next to me dressed like a banana.
You get it.
There's a lot of white women.
We know how great they are.
So it's all of these people.
Some of them are very talented, right?
Some of them are talented.
So it's just me and Ray doing exactly what we were told to do, which is to come in and be bombastic.
And, you know, like Ray's eating these cheese balls and I'm just kind of going off and just being funny, saying everything I can to be funny.
At one point, a girl stands up and she starts going, I'm just so worried if Trump wins.
And I'm like, where do you grow up?
Let's get real.
Because you can tell she was a rich kid.
And I was just doing crowd work with her.
Like, hey, let's be honest.
Where did you live?
What is your father?
You know, your father's probably the CEO of Boeing.
You know, he's worried about Trump.
So pointing out that hypocrisy was fun.
So now this was, this was funny for the very beginning.
Right.
Now, even in the very beginning, things weren't breaking the way that everyone thought they were going to break.
But there was still a lot of hope.
So in the beginning, it was happening the way that everyone wanted.
Tim and Ray are there.
They're being bombastic.
They're being funny.
And as the night wore on, it got less funny.
And we're hired to be funny, right?
Now, everybody else has decided to, you know, they're upset or they're upset.
Now, I'm not upset.
I'm on the front of my phone, Drew Michael, who's at SNL.
Everyone at SNL is crying.
They're all crying.
And I'm like, I called Drew, and that's when me and Drew were like best friends.
And I called me and he's like snickering, laughing.
And he's like, here's why we all thought it was funny.
Not because anyone loved Trump, but because the idea that like all of these liberals were like so confident.
You ever have a friend that's so confident they're going to fuck this chick or this dude or whatever it is?
And then for whatever reason, they just get shut down.
And it's hilarious because it just shuts them down.
And these are people that have just been eight years of Obama drone striking people and, you know, financial crime going on.
No one, you know, and they don't care because Obama's on Ellen or whatever.
So it's just this neoliberal, like, yasque, stop, slay, bitch.
And like all of it, you know, every argument for Hillary Clinton's candidacy was faulty.
I had the only good one.
I was the only Hillary advocate of her.
And I did advocate for her.
I said, give her the job because she's a murderer.
That's, and I said, she should win because she's a murderer.
And she's just like, it's just, because I knew, now I didn't vote for her.
I didn't vote for anyone, but I knew that Trump was going to inspire this cult-like devotion of people who think that he's doing something.
He's not going to do anything, right?
I know people that like know him from New York.
I know, like, not to say that I'm super inside, whatever, but like the guy, he's, he doesn't, what do you, what do you think is happening here?
So I knew that like this guy was just the revolution wasn't coming.
And then I also, I made the only good argument for Hillary Clinton, which was a hilarious argument, which was that she was an old crook and a murderer, and you should just give her the job.
It's one of my jokes I say in stand-up.
I say, when you kill enough people, you should just get the job of president.
They should just make a serial killer the president because that's all you have to do is just kill large swaths of people and then go eat Jacob Barbesan.
That's a job.
You eat, you kill up, you doom a country, and then you go to the residence and you go, oh, that's good.
This Brussels prouds are good.
Now, that's just what it is, right or wrong, good or bad.
That's what it is.
And it's funny to point those things out.
That's funny.
I didn't create the system, but when you put it out, because it's what you would talk to your friends about, you'd smoke a joint in your backyard and go, you know, here's what I think this thing is.
I think it's just killing a bunch of people and eating dinner.
It's what it is.
And Hillary can, she can certainly do that.
Police My Emotions00:13:52
So they are all starting to get really upset.
And they start yelling at me because I'm not upset.
They start to like police my emotions, you know, to use a fucking Twitter fucking term.
And I just start laughing in their face.
Nothing makes someone angrier than when you laugh in their face.
I hate it.
When you laugh in someone's face, unless it's, you know, it's my job, you have to laugh in my face.
I'm a comedian.
So they are, they're like crying.
Some of them are throwing themselves on the floor.
A banana is sitting next to me and he's crying.
Someone is dressed like a banana and they're crying.
How do you not laugh?
No, I'm dead serious.
How do you not laugh at a banana in tears next to you?
Because this is what Chris would do.
He'd be like, I'm helping all these young comics by having them dress up like fruit and sit on the set of my show.
Fine, great.
Whatever you want to do.
You know, that's how he would help people.
He'd go, you're going to be a grape.
Some guy would sit there in a grape suit and he'd be like, that's Gary the grape.
You know, whatever.
Hey, I'm not judging.
But so somebody asked him why this episode wasn't released.
Chris goes, we would have released it if it was as simple as the party I don't like won.
Unfortunately, the timing of everything made things bad creatively and morally for me.
Not as an individual, but as a creator of a community of creative people.
This is when we start realizing that this is a cult.
When you start saying things like, as the creator of a community of creative people, like you are there, you secure their, I'm like, you're going to curate all of their experiences.
You have to shield them from certain things.
You have to protect them.
You are their father.
You gave birth to them.
This is language that I've always felt very weird and sort of uncomfortable with, this type of language.
The obvious bit was that Hillary was going to win and Tim would come on to be our splash of water in the face, bringing things back to reality in the very funny way he was so good at back then.
Back then, right?
Because I'm so different now than I was then.
Also, to get this out of the way, and I don't want to dive deep into it, although it's a seven paragraph thing on Reddit.
I don't want to dive deep into it.
2016, Tim was a friend of mine and a creative ally of mine.
I don't know that's as true in 2020.
So keep the contacts in mind that he's grown in ways that separated us.
I've seen Chris since.
I saw him at a wedding.
We were very nice to each other.
He brought his baby to the wedding, which you don't do.
And everyone at the wedding was offended by that.
It's a very declasse move to bring your baby to a wedding, your newborn to a wedding.
You either leave someone home with it or you leave it with family or you have someone, but you don't bring your newborn baby to a wedding, which was absurd, but I don't blame him because he's a sweet guy, but he's not a Kennedy.
So he doesn't like, you know, the rules of decorum are not, you know, I get it.
It is what it is.
You just don't show up with a baby in a play pen.
It's just not what it is, okay?
But I saw him at the wedding.
He's a sweet guy.
I like his wife.
He's talented.
I'm not shitting on him at all.
I was kind of shocked by this comment.
It was strange to me.
So he goes, I don't know.
So he goes, instead of the planned vibe that his bit would have created, things broke how they did.
And his shtick took a much darker turn.
It came off even darker and more aggressive than it usually did.
He looked bad for it.
I looked bad for showing up and doing what I was asked to do, which was be a comedian on a comedy show that was taking place during election night, where there were two potential winners, one of them who won.
So I looked bad for being asked to do, for doing what I was asked to do.
I can't believe he's responding to Reddit comments, by the way.
This is shocking to me that he responded to Reddit comments like this.
I was completely shellshocked by the results after 12 hours of being on camera and physically and mentally shut down for a few minutes and lost control of the show.
Mal, who was one of my dearest friends, got into a shouting match with Tim, which I think I enjoyed and I think she did too.
Neither looked good.
There were a few female performers on camera at the time who wound up in a battle with Tim over the tenor of his comments in relation to Hillary being female.
By the way, I was calling Hillary a murderer all night and they objected that I mentioned she was a woman.
Again, so before he had finished his thoughts and found the comedic twist on them, which is fair, Chris is being fair to me.
There's trying to be funny.
Those performers didn't look good.
A few audience members jumped up and grabbed mics to express their emotions.
They had very good points, but ultimately they did not good.
Then afterwards, comedy was still scheduled to happen and it was not a fair environment to stage comedy in and none of these performers looked good.
Here's the reality.
You know, I pity people that live in constant fear of being canceled.
I don't live in constant fear of being canceled.
I haven't set up my career like that.
I have not arranged my career in a manner that gives people the power over my career other than my fans, the people who listen to the show and the people that buy tickets to see me live.
I feel bad for people that are whether Chris is in that situation or not.
I believe he is.
And some of that's not his fault.
Some of it is just he came up in a time where you needed, you know, and even though Chris is, you know, independent of the business to an extent, he does a lot of things on public access.
I still feel like he's terrified of his fan base because they're not mentally well.
A lot of these people that he's, you know, it's not only about comedy.
It's comedy plus.
Comedy plus mental illness.
So, I mean, he used to show me he gets calls and texts and emails, people threatening to kill themselves.
I mean, it's a very tough thing when you make yourself a, so I understand he wants to protect people and whatever, but to say that I was a creative collaborator and a friend of his, and now I've grown in ways that have separated us.
I certainly have grown in ways that have separated him.
But like the idea that like I am that my shtick is somehow different now than it was or that I am some type of dangerous or dark, I still respect Chris.
I still think he's funny.
I had Shane Gillis on my show.
Shane had said something about Chris on his podcast, which got reported by one of these scumbags who wrote articles about Shane.
And I brought up Chris and I didn't say that Chris was a friend.
I just said, and you had a thing with Chris Gethardt.
And Chris got very angry with me.
He's like, why wouldn't you say that we were friends?
By the way, this is recently.
When did I have Shane on?
God, that was November, right?
Yeah.
So this is not like a long time ago.
This is pretty recently.
Chris was angry that I didn't present it like we were friendly, you know?
And I didn't even realize that.
I was like, sorry, Chris, I wasn't even thinking.
You know, I respect you, blah, blah, blah.
But, you know, I wasn't even thinking like that.
So at that point, he was, but now he's kind of like on Reddit.
He's like, well, he's grown in ways that have separated us.
And he was good at it.
And when he said that, he was like, he was really good at that back then.
The type of comedy he did, he was really good at it back then.
And it's like, nothing's different.
You changed.
Your audience changed.
What they wanted out of comedy changed.
And I've been consistent the whole way through.
I'm here to make you fucking laugh.
I'm here to entertain you.
So to me, to write this entire threat.
And again, you know, all of this is done so that I can't respond.
All of this is written in a way outside of the public view so that I don't have anything to say, so that I look like some crazy right-wing lunatic or whatever.
I don't even care how I look, but like, it's just funny to me.
Make a public statement about it.
I'm fine.
Like, that's totally cool.
Put it on Instagram, put it on Facebook, say, somebody wanted to know why this wasn't released.
Here's what it is.
But to put it on Reddit is have somebody send it to me where this guy's going like, yeah, Tim was really good back then at comedy, but now he's grown in ways that I don't really, I support.
And it's like, it's kind of a cowardly thing to do.
He also took down the video.
I did a very funny video on his show where I was telling people not to vote and to marry for money.
It was very funny.
Yanked it off YouTube because he said that the black kid in it, Justin, was getting harassed by some alt-right troll, which is kind of hilarious.
It's like, what does somebody send him a DM?
And I'm like, so here's my problem.
It's not, I don't want to have a shit talking fest here and fuck this and fuck Chris or whatever, because I don't feel like that.
I think Chris is a creative, unique guy that lives in fear of his fan base turning on him.
And then that is a massive, that's a massive issue.
And I just want to say I like Chris and whatever, and I have no problem with him.
And if he doesn't like me because Trump won an election, that's okay.
And I feel that saddens me because I'm still doing the same comedy.
Chris has helped people.
He's made, he's given funny people a platform, whatever.
He gave me a platform, and I'm grateful for that.
And I respect that.
But if you're going to ask me to go on a show and not think it's funny that a guy dressed like a banana is crying, I can't help you.
I don't know what to tell you.
You know?
So we're going to wrap it up like this.
God bless everybody.
Be nice.
Just be nice.
What do you have to do out there other than just be fucking nice?
That's the only thing you should do on this planet.
Just be nice.
If you see somebody that's frowning, step on their throat.
No, I mean, listen.
I'll tell you this, folks.
Epstein Doc's well worth a watch.
Sorry that Chris Gethard, I mean, I would love to release, because yes, nobody looked good.
He's right.
Nobody looked good.
That is comedy.
It's actually probably very funny.
It's actually probably great.
And unfortunately, it won't see the light of day, which is okay.
But I would have preferred that somebody make comments about me in a public forum or be honest with me or have a conversation with me and not write a seven paragraph thing on Reddit and try to distance themselves from me as much as possible.
It's okay.
I mean, it is what it is.
I've always wanted to entertain real people.
I don't, I don't have, you know, I just, you know, so I'm not super concerned with like, you know, the comedians that I like respect me.
You know, the guys that I really respect and girls I really respect, they respect me.
But I just find that, you know, and this is just advice for anyone in any creative field.
Don't build a castle made of like cancelable sand.
Like, don't be terrified.
Cause me and Chris did funny shit together and then to pull it off YouTube and then to say that like I can't release this or whatever.
Nobody looked good or whatever.
You know, to me, it's just like, it's childish and it just shows like he's a, he's an adult.
He's going to, he has a kid, which you shouldn't bring to weddings.
But you have a kid, be an adult, just be an adult.
You got enough money.
You can say, hey, I don't like Tim Dillon now because Trump won and now I find him offensive or he went on infowars or whatever the case may be.
But like, I will never say like, I don't like Chris or that I don't, I'm not grateful to Chris bringing me on the road when I was a young comic.
And I would never say Chris isn't funny now.
He was funny then, but he's not funny now.
I wouldn't, so like, I didn't do anything.
So it's, it's odd to me that he would, you know, say that about me on a Reddit.
It's very interesting.
And of course, I, you know, Seth Simon says, all my love and respect.
You know, I mean, what are you going to do?
You know, and listen, man, here's the deal.
To anybody out there that has to make a living watching comedy and reading about it and watching it and paying attention to it and then commenting on it, you guys deserve all your money.
You deserve all your fucking money.
I mean, I not, hey, ain't for me.
Ain't for me.
You know, I'm a real estate investor.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm a real estate investor.
I am really not even a comedian.
I'm barely a podcaster.
I have a jewelry company that is massive.
And it's a direct to marketing sales company with the best high-quality, low-cost jewelry for the American family.
I'm a real estate investor.
I have, I have a, I'm a dealer in iconic properties, big ticket items.
And that's where I'm an expert.
All right, folks.
Good luck out there.
Until next week, again, not shitting on Chris, like Chris, a little disappointed in him, but that's okay.