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Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Soft Launch of Martial Law00:08:06
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the program.
I don't love how much I'm hearing the term martial law.
I don't love that.
Tell you that much.
You're hearing it a lot now.
Gavin Newsom, governor of California, brought it up.
You're hearing it.
The press is bringing it up.
And when you hear something like that over and over again, it feels like they're doing a soft launch for martial law.
You know?
It feels like they're just doing a little rollout.
See how you react to the idea.
You can't do things like that all at once because it inspires widespread panic and chaos.
Suspending the Constitution and bringing in the military, that tends to make people a little iffy.
So what they do, I think, is they introduce you to the concept little by little.
A little shelter in place, a little shutdown.
And we start seeing people at public parks, people working out, people doing things, people still gathering together in groups.
And the government goes, you know, I don't know if we're going to be able to weather the storm here without the tank.
We might need the tank to come in and stop you from gathering in a park.
You know, I'm no fan of martial law.
I do understand the shelter in place, you know.
And when I criticize the conspiracy community for saying that the virus isn't real or the virus is just the flu or the virus is a cover so that the government can arrest Tom Hanks.
What I do fully understand and am quite aware of is that when you have a problem like this, like 9-11, which is so big and new, that you are going to have elements of the government and the private sector.
You're going to have people, you know, as Ramana, as Ram Emmanuel said, who was the chief of staff for Barack Obama and who is now the mayor of Chicago or was, I believe he still is, the mayor of Chicago, as he said, never let a crisis go to waste.
So there are going to be people that try to take the few remaining rights you have.
So you have to be a little vigilant.
That doesn't mean you go cough down an old person's throat.
Doesn't mean, you know, you ignore what's a clear reality, which is this is a, you know, incredibly dangerous virus.
But it means that you're vigilant and you understand that no government has ever emerged from a crisis with less power.
Doesn't happen.
Doesn't happen.
The government now is growing in power.
It's going to start to pay you to live, to stay home, to sit in your house.
It's going to cut you a check.
You don't have, and by the way, I'm for that.
People need that.
But just let's think about this.
Let's zoom out for a little bit.
And when we look at this, we go, you are now dependent on the government for everything, for everything.
They've taken your ability in the short term to earn a living.
And I understand that in the short term.
I understand the need to close things and I've told people to comply with this.
But there does come a point where you're going to see, you know, it's kind of like when you bring a car in to a mechanic and the mechanic is less than reputable and, you know, they're like, yeah, it's totaled.
You know, we just, we total out the car, you know.
You bring it in, you know, because headlights out and they're like, it's totaled.
You might as well.
We're totaling the economy right now, the world economy.
I mean, we are totaling the world economy.
We are seeing a global depression take root.
We are seeing potentially unemployment in the range of 20%.
Containment has failed.
The reports now out of New York and California, if you have symptoms, do not get tested unless you are in a very high risk group and you're so sick that you have to go to the hospital.
They are saving the tests for healthcare workers, doctors, nurses, first responders, people that are coming in contact with this virus and with sick people all the time.
So at that point, when you say testing, we can't test anybody.
The containment model, which is based on knowing who has this and who doesn't, you know, trying to contain it, you know, the social distancing, the shelter in place, you know, all of that, you know, might have some positive effect.
Hopefully it does.
But a lot of people are skeptical at this point about how much of a positive effect it will have.
We should still do it.
We should still do it for the time being.
But I think a lot of people are saying you got to move into mitigation, which is basically the development, the rapid development of antiviral drugs.
You know, they're talking about chloroquinine or something.
I think, I believe that's the name that was used to fight malaria.
But I was reading about those, the side effects on that last night.
It could be blindness.
And if you take an extra dose, sudden death.
You got it.
Yeah.
Chloroquinine.
Yeah.
If you take a sudden, if you take an extra dose of that, goodbye.
So I don't know if that's the best idea to give to old people.
I imagine that that'll be given to them in a hospital.
You take that with erythromycin, which is a Z-PAC.
If you get bronchitis, you take a Z-PAC, a little erythromycin.
Take the five-day, you know, two on the first day, and then boom, And it usually clears bronchitis.
So if you take the chloroquinine for malaria and the erythromycin, it is beating back the virus.
I have a friend who's a doctor at Lennox Hill Hospital who said that actually the results are pretty good.
Does it mean, you know, Trump gets high marks here?
This is, you know, it's a colossal failure.
It's a colossal failure to not have the tests, to not order more supplies in January and February when you had the intelligence community warning you about this, when you were, you didn't have to have the intelligence community warning you about it because you're watching it happen in another country.
It's a tremendous failure.
It's a fireable offense.
Whether you love the guy or hate the guy, it's a fireable offense because it was done correctly in other countries.
I mean, you know, South Korea.
And again, I have no emotion here with this.
I'm just telling you, South, not South Korea, but yeah, South Korea, but Taiwan, you know, 24 million people, one death, 85 cases.
That was up until recently.
And I'm sure their numbers are pretty similar to.
153 cases and four deaths.
There you go.
Or two deaths.
Yeah.
That's Taiwan.
They're right next to China, but they had been through SARS.
Irreparable Damage to Reputation00:05:26
They knew what this was going to look like.
They got the masks immediately.
They ordered the supplies.
They made testing widely available.
It's a high-tech health service they have where you get the results to your phone.
They text you the results.
You know exactly where you stand and if you have to go quarantine.
So fuck.
I don't care how much you love this guy and how much you think he is essential or whatever fairy tale you've concocted in your head about any of these people, any of our leaders that you love so much, yet have never met.
I mean, all of these people would want nothing to do with you.
The Obamas, the Trumps, they wouldn't want anything to do with you.
Can you imagine your disgusting family, your marinara sauce covered fingers?
Do you understand the way these people fucking look at you?
When will you?
When do you think you people will wake up?
Is it when you're all in camps?
I mean, truly, at what point do you understand that these people fucking look at you like a fucking rat scurrying across a busy street?
They're puzzled by you.
They're confused almost.
They watch you run across the street and if you make it, they go, huh, cool.
And if you get hit by a car and you get squashed in the middle of the street and they go, ha ha.
They don't necessarily rejoice, but it doesn't fuck up their day at all.
I think we all need to grow up now.
I really believe that.
I think if we don't grow up, we're going to be in trouble as a species.
And if we keep thinking that these people give a fuck about us and that they care about us on any level at all, we're going to delude ourselves to death.
And I think it's a big fucking problem.
And I don't care whether it's AOC, any of the people that we've elected to be the narcissist of the week and to tell us all how we live, how to live.
All of these people are after, for the most part, their own power and they're not really looking out for you.
They believe things in the abstract that could help you.
But when Bernie Sanders, who I like and respect, you know, treats Joe Biden like a statesman in that debate, instead of turning around and going, you are the fucking problem.
How did Trump get elected?
By going to Jeb Bush and destroying his own party.
Trump destroyed the Republicans.
He destroyed the Bush dynasty.
They limped.
Jeb limped out of those debates.
That young Bush still can't get elected in Texas.
The little kid tried in a congressional race.
The damage done to that name might be irreparable.
And they were one of the biggest political dynasties in our country.
And Trump got rid of them.
And he did that by being rude.
I mean, he did that by saying things that made you go, whoa.
But you have Bernie Sanders kind of treating Joe Biden like a statesman because they're friends or whatever.
Trump was friends with Hillary.
He didn't care.
He didn't care.
They were friends.
He played golf with Bill.
He went to a wedding.
He went to their wedding.
They came to his wedding.
He was friends with them.
It didn't matter.
Didn't matter to him.
And yeah, you know, maybe Sanders has more integrity.
Great.
That doesn't win.
That doesn't win.
It's very hard to root for the left because they're so allergic to winning.
They are so, they are born losers.
They are incapable of fucking winning.
I mean, Trump. may still win the next election.
How hilarious is that?
We have a worldwide preventable pandemic in this country.
A stock market crash, the likes which we haven't seen in a generation.
And we're going into a global depression.
And Trump may still win.
He might pull it out.
The record he has to run on is the worst record of any maybe president ever.
I mean, has anyone, the wholesale destruction of the American economy and our complete way of life?
We can't leave our houses.
The whole country got suspended and he still could pull it out.
Does that give you an idea of how pathetic the other side is?
How their quibbling and their infighting is so repulsive.
They're so annoying to most people.
Even me, who realizes and has realized that Trump, again, is a huckster.
The Huckster's Pathetic Side00:15:11
He's peddling his wares to people that, you know, see him as some type of avatar.
But essentially, he's a huckster.
If you don't see that, even if you think he's funny, even if you hate the other side, you see Trump as a huckster.
I think the difference is that a lot of people out there go, yeah, but he's our huckster.
He's my, like he's ripping off everybody on behalf of us.
If that were only the case, if that were only the case, I could be like, great.
But you can't leave your house because we didn't order the tests and the masks because he didn't care.
Because he didn't want to spook the stock market by even talking about a pandemic.
You know, because it didn't matter because everything was good.
The gravy train was rolling along.
And, you know, so again, it's a mistake.
If you're unwilling to admit that, you've left the realm of logic.
And fine, if you want to dwell in your own world that you create.
And I think that is where, you know, we are seeing these states like Philadelphia.
I'm sorry, cities like Philadelphia saying we're not going to prosecute.
We're not going to arrest and jail people for crimes, petty crimes.
And, you know, petty to them, when you read the list, includes burglary, auto theft, vandalism, property crime.
So, I mean, what's going to start to happen in Philadelphia and cities across the country that are unable to deal with the increased spike in crime that is almost certain to happen with, it kind of goes along with the destruction of the American economy, a rise in crime, 20% unemployment, they're talking.
What you're going to see in cities like that is they're going to throw their hands up and they're going to wait for the federal government to roll the tanks in.
They're going to say, listen, we don't have the resources to handle this.
Bring in the tanks.
And that's why you're hearing the term martial law.
The states are not going to be able to handle this, especially in high crime areas where the crime is going to explode.
The country, folks, does not look the same after this.
Not trying to be alarmist here, but it doesn't look the same.
It does not emerge in the same way.
You're going to see.
The rich, and they've already done it.
They're fleeing to the Hamptons, to Martha's Vineyard.
They're going behind gates.
They know.
They knew before this happened, probably they had an inkling that something was coming.
I mean, I know there's a very wealthy guy in New York who's close to a billionaire, and I know somebody very close to him.
And this guy was told in February that he would maybe not have to pay rent on some of his properties, his commercial establishments, and he should get out of the market or reduce his positions in the market.
This was, you know, several senators are claiming, of course, that they did not, you know, sell these stocks or change their positions because of inside information.
That's a complete lie.
They should be hung.
I mean, it's as close to treason as I can think about somebody profiting off the deaths of their fellow countrymen and not informing anybody that this was going to happen and certainly not doing anything from their position of power in the government to reduce the likelihood it would happen.
Just going in there and profiting from it.
It's disgusting.
Now, all the Republicans in the beginning, it was like one guy should resign, but then you found out that all the senators did it and four of them are Republicans.
And everybody's like, well, maybe this one guy should resign because they don't want to lose control of the Senate.
But this is, you know, pretty disgusting.
If you fall on a partisan, if you're still thinking in terms of left or right, Republican or Democrat in this period of time, you're wrong.
You're wrong.
And I feel bad for you because you're going to step on your throne.
It has nothing to do with the blue or red or Republican or Democrat, left or right.
That is a show.
This is a show.
Okay.
The people that have money and power right now are going to get richer.
They're going to get more powerful.
And they're going to leave you and your family to starve.
This is absolutely the case.
It's happening already.
And if you're still thinking that half of them give a fuck about you, I mean, God, what would do it, folks?
Do they have to FaceTime you and tell you how much they don't give a fuck?
Do they have to FaceTime you and go, hi, Mr. and Mrs., who is this?
Is this the Fantosis?
Sister Millers?
Sister Dominics?
Is this the Parkers?
Hey, we just want to call you up and let you know you're on your own here.
Did you not get that?
Did you not see that with all the, you know, with us selling our stock?
Can we stop doing the fucking press conferences too?
Who are they?
Who is feeling better after that?
That little doctor, Fauci, who's probably a good dude, but he's a tiny little man.
There is no time for short people right now.
Sorry.
Nobody's being made to feel better by a tiny little doctor.
Give me somebody six fucking two who looks like they can take this thing on.
Little Fauci looks like coronavirus.
He's a tiny little man.
Nobody feels good about that at this moment.
Sure, people are great in good times, but when times are tough, you want to look at somebody tall to lead you through who sees above the crowd.
Who is this woman who comes out in a night dress who looks like she's on Percocet?
It's just like my daughters, my daughters, who are two.
I have two beautiful millennial daughters.
They're the most important generation millennials.
I have two daughters.
It's like, who the fuck is this bitch?
Who is this?
And then you have Trump and then Pence, Stoneface in the back.
And then, of course, they bring out, you know, Pompeo, who just wants to, you know, the Secretary of State, who used to run the CIA.
And he just wants to be just sitting eating a French dip sandwich.
That poor guy's like, what the fuck is this?
I thought we were just blackmailing people, taking photos of them fucking underage people.
What?
Pandemic.
They're wholly unprepared.
And the country is unprepared for what's about to happen.
There's no way to be prepared for what's about to happen.
What's about to happen is going to be truly astounding for a lot of people.
Cities are going to turn pretty quickly into mad max situations.
There's going to be shortages.
There's going to be an increase in crime.
They're probably going to declare martial law, some version of that.
I don't see in certain areas of the country, I don't see how that doesn't happen.
It seems inevitable that if things continue the way they are continuing, all the big finance people, the Goldman Sachs guys, are all being told it's an 18-month pandemic with waves of sick people.
Waves of where we can all go back to work.
I'm sure that looks great, by the way.
I'm sure everybody's really excited.
Like, you know, waves where we have to shut down again.
It's just going to be cyclical.
And when we all go back to work, I don't think it's going to be boom times.
I got to be honest with you.
I don't think it's going to quite feel the same.
I think people are still going to be like, you know, what are we doing?
They're going to think long and hard about where they go, how they spend their money, what risk they're willing to take, what level of risk they're willing to take.
Concert, comedy show, restaurant, you know, beach.
These are all different things.
We're all going to know people who pass away tragically from this disease.
It's going to be emotionally scarring.
It's going to damage the psyche of people, not only individually, but the country's psyche.
And I think, unfortunately, the reality of how bad things are is going to push people further into their own world.
It's going to push them further into conspiracy, further into, you know, cults, religion, things that give people some level of hope or at least a way to organize the world.
And it's going to get bad.
And I think that when people are confronted with chaos, they need something.
And I think for the good of the country, it has to be this show.
It has to be the Patreon, the Tim Dylan show.
It has to be the merch.
I don't think it can be anything else.
I worry about you being taken in by charlatans out there online.
There's a lot of problems.
There's a lot of bad actors in the digital space just waiting for you.
Come here.
Come here.
We're giving you the information.
We're giving you the perspective.
I don't want to be hopeless.
There are good things coming.
Celebrities and politicians will die.
That's nice.
That will be fun to see and watch.
If we are still alive to watch that happen, that will be amusing.
Good things are going to come of this.
I'm telling you, real housewives are going to die.
That will be fun for all of us.
From what I see, the disease clearly does not discriminate.
So there's going to be some annoying people that are going to get it.
And they're going to go bye-bye.
And that might keep us sane for a little while because good people are going to go.
People you love are going to go.
People you respect are going to go.
But then other people are going to go too.
It's the little things.
It's the small victories that you can't lose sight of in these times.
You should put pictures on your wall of people you hope get it.
And when one of them does, put a check, have a drink, eat a good meal.
I'm, of course, joking about celebrating the deaths of others, but am I?
And how bad will it get where we need some form of entertainment as cryptic as that sounds, as depressing as that may be, as inhumane as you might find that to be, we're going to need light at the end of the tunnel.
And it is not going to come from the powers that be.
They are not going to help you.
Your community might help you.
Your friends and your family might help you.
Your local government could help you.
The powers that be are going to make a mad dash for the hills.
They're going to grab their money and their families and they're going to head out to the lifeboats.
It's going to happen.
This isn't a debate.
This isn't left or right.
Don't look for these people to show you a way out of this fucking mess.
It's not going to happen.
Comedians, get off Instagram live for the love of God, especially unsuccessful ones.
Especially ones that failed at the real thing.
Ones that couldn't do it when you had a stage and an audience.
Get the fuck off Instagram live.
Nobody wants your thoughts now enough.
Comedy couldn't be less essential.
Funny, yes.
Funny, we all need funny.
Comedy, no.
The entertainment business is about to get gutted.
If you are in the business and you've done well enough, you'll probably make it through if you survive, but your relationships are going to change.
Your business relationships are going to change.
How you do business is going to change.
How you attract a following is going to change.
How you make money at this business is going to change.
It's absolutely going to change.
If you're independent, the only way out of this is being self-sufficient.
You cannot rely on anybody anymore for anything.
And this is particularly aimed at people in creative fields.
You're not the sitcom bullshit, the pilot you thought you were going to get, the tour you were going on.
I mean, everything, unfortunately, you know, is sand through the hourglass.
How Business Will Change Forever00:02:30
It's fucked.
All you can do right now is have something valuable for other people and find a way to deliver it to them.
And that is not going on Instagram live with your act, with your stand-up act for the love of Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Does anyone right now want to see a half-decent comedian perform to an empty room?
What psychopath wants that?
Who are you all performing for?
It's over.
It's over.
What the fuck do you think happens next?
You get noticed on Instagram live, and then what?
What happens then?
They lead you with a mask through the gates of Paramount Studios.
It's curtains.
Collect your belongings and go.
Checkout is at 11 a.m.
There is no late checkout today.
The rooms are booked.
Get the fuck out.
The vacation has ended.
Your meaningless life is no longer public consumption.
Go back, put your privacy settings, go reestablish some relationship that matters before it all goes black.
Some of the things I've seen have been good, but the majority, the majority of them have not.
And I feel for people.
Oh, it's not so easy to do what Logan Paul does, is it?
You all thought you were slick and you shitted on YouTubers.
And now you're all trying to be YouTubers.
As the gypsy and thinner, the Stephen King movie said, die clean.
Die Clean in Pandemic Times00:04:05
Die clean.
Die clean, white boy.
That's what he said.
Some of you have no clue what's coming because you trust the government and the media, because you're children or you're insane.
They know things we don't know.
They're trying to avoid widespread panic.
They're trying to avoid chaos.
They know this is a lot worse than they're even letting on.
They know maybe this thing's mutated, who knows, taking out people left and right.
And it does.
This doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason why.
Maybe it's just this, a novel virus.
We don't have immunity people system.
Some can handle it, some can't, but how terrifying is that?
That is why they're like.
Well, it's mainly elderly people.
You know, Mike Pence said the other day he goes, the majority of Americans don't need to worry about getting this.
There's no, there's no statistics to back that up.
There's none.
What the ones out of China Italy, there's a thousand people a day are dying.
That's Spanish flu, China.
We don't know what the fuck's going on.
You can't trust the media, so we have the vice president going.
Yeah, most people don't have anything to worry about when contracting this disease.
There are no numbers to support that.
We don't know that that's the case.
We don't know what's the death toll in Italy right now, 4825.
Yeah, it's a lot of dead people.
Yesterday there was 793 and it's not over.
I know.
You know, if we, if we, if we were closing the book, people go 4 000, so what?
I don't know anybody with coronavirus.
Do you know how many people die of gunshot wounds?
You know how many people die of other things like the flu?
This isn't over.
We're just beginning.
The movie has just started.
We're barely through the previews.
You don't know what's coming.
We don't need a lot of people to die to unleash martial law and to doom the economy.
You don't need a lot of people to die to collapse the healthcare system.
You don't, but I do think you're gonna see sadly, a lot more people die.
I mean, what are the?
What are the totals right now?
We usually do the totals in the beginning, but let's?
Do them now, 301 627 000, so we're just past the 300 000 mark.
And then the deaths, 300 000 worldwide.
Yeah, the deaths are about to hit 13 000.
We're at 12 955 America.
What are the totals in America?
In the Usa we have.
Wouldn't it be funny if like had an old-time rock dj?
Like there was this guy, cousin Brucie, who 101.1 when I was growing up was like that type of old school and he'd be like, hey, it's cousin Brucie.
And it would just be funny if, like in the dystopian nightmare that we live in, he's like, hey baby, it's cousin Brucey.
Giving you the totals, giving you the totals, we got about 23 000 deaths right now.
Now, how about rocking out to the four seasons?
Um, where are we?
In America?
We have uh 22 813 cases and uh 288 deaths.
I can't wait for.
Coronavirus To Musical, Coronavirus To Musical.
Can you see it?
Broadway stage opens 2023.
People are standing there.
It's kind of like Rent, if you, if you remember Rent the stage is.
You know there's no real set, there's just some garbage cans and some stuff.
And you know there's a catwalk and it's kind of plain and there's just like people standing on the stage and you know, 2023.
Coronavirus To Musical.
You know the first number.
Everybody's standing there, just like you know they're doing it on the beat.
Living in Historic Uncertainty00:10:16
They Goodleo, Doodloo.
Uh-uh.
What was that?
What was that?
I heard about a pandemic happening.
What was that?
Wuhan, China.
What was that?
Pandemic.
Bat flu, plague, plague, and a bat flu.
And then, you know, I mean, it's coming.
It's coming.
Where are the tests?
We thought we had the tests.
Just doctors and nurses singing.
By the way, isn't the worst thing about this that we have to treat doctors and nurses with reverence and respect?
Is there anybody more annoying than doctors and nurses?
Let's be honest.
I mean, I know that now they're essential, but I wish they weren't.
I wish we were relying on like blackjack dealers or people that I like.
Doctors and nurses.
They're almost as bad as teachers.
Imagine if we all had to glorify teachers during this.
Oh, my God.
I would just go kill me now.
I do like, you know, it's just doctors are, you know, they're pompous.
Doctors are pompous.
And nurses as well think they're doctors.
It's not all of them, but it's a fair amount of them.
And many people in the medical field agree with me.
I'm just saying, I wish we were relying on another group that we had to exalt.
You know?
I don't know who.
You know, people that work at clam bars, like fat women who ladle clam chowder into a cop.
I wish they were the front lines and we could be like, yeah, I support, I support Donna.
I mean, you know, folks, you have to remember when all this is happening that you're living through a historic time.
I love that.
Isn't that people tell you that?
Like it's a good thing.
You're living through a historic time.
This is historic.
This is a historic time.
It is a historic time.
You know, so was the Holocaust.
It was historic.
You think they walked around Auschwitz and go, you know what we have to remember?
We're living in a historic time.
We really are.
We just get to see it all up close.
You think they talked about that?
Probably not.
But what do I know?
You know?
I'm itching.
I'm itching to get out there and do live stand-up comedy again, but it's just not going to happen.
It's not going to happen for a while.
And even when it does happen, who the fuck knows what it's going to look like?
You know?
What's Billie Eilish up to?
She was on tour too.
Google hit news on Billie Eilish.
What's she doing?
She always wore that mask anyway.
She was prepared.
Remember, she always had that Bane mask on her face?
What's she up to?
I mean, it looks like she's just on the voice right now.
The voice battle rounds.
Billie Eilish, Whitney Houston, more songs and pairings.
I mean, to put Billie Eilish and Whitney Houston in the same sentence, I mean, imagine what a decaying society we are.
How deserving are we of a plague to put those two?
Whitney Houston, one of the greatest voices ever, who did exactly what a musician should do, entertained the fuck out of us and then died in the tub.
Didn't stick around for too long.
Isn't the voice people covering stuff?
Who knows, but that's probably not that recent.
They shut down.
That was one day ago.
Really?
Yeah.
But didn't they shut down the production of all of these shows?
I guess they shot him so long ago.
Yeah.
That's the other thing now.
Jimmy Fallon's doing the tonight show from his house.
Whoopi Goldberg's like Skyping it in the view.
Enough!
I mean, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to be the bringer of bad news, but just shut it down.
I mean, are we going to be living under martial law and still watching Jimmy Fallon?
Is that what's going to happen here?
Are we going to be living under martial law and still watching Carpool karaoke?
Shut it down.
Have the decency to treat us like real dictators and just have state TV, which is what that is, by the way.
Fallon and Cordon, that is state TV.
I mean, am I going to look out my window, see a tank rolling down the street, and then turn on my TV and see Ellen dancing from her living room?
At what point do these people just go the fuck home and stay there?
Turn off the webcam and let us all be.
Let us be, please.
Give us a few months without you.
I mean, I mean, can you imagine it?
Jimmy Fallon going outside.
Ellen dancing with the military.
Jimmy Fallon taking pictures with the tank that's parked at the end of his block.
I mean, at what point can we just, can we, can we request that they shut the entertainment industry off, shut it off?
There should be martial law on Instagram.
You should have to get approval from the military to post.
That's what should happen.
That'd fuck me up.
They wouldn't give me any fucking, we'd have to go onto the dark web.
We'd have to live stream on the dark web.
Is that that?
Does anyone ever do that?
No.
I mean, that's what a red room is supposed to be.
Yeah, but it's not real.
It's not real.
That's what America is about to become, by the way.
A red room is supposedly where you torture and kill people, and the people in the comments are like, kill him.
Get his leg.
It's where it's like there's a torture chamber and you get to say what you want done to the person if you donate money, like a super chat on YouTube.
Get his leg.
Pin his leg back.
It's like not real.
But who knows?
Who knows what entertainment will be considered after this?
Every company in this country right now should be making ventilators.
Everybody, some of them are to their credit.
Every fucking company should be Mahagan Das, whoever.
Make fucking ventilators.
You're going to need a lot of ventilators.
You're going to need masks.
Make fucking masks.
You know?
This should have been happening months ago.
You know?
What good is it to call yourself the greatest country in the world and then get beaten by Taiwan at survival?
You know?
How does that happen?
How does it happen that all you do is call yourself, you pat yourself on the back for being the greatest country in the world.
Taiwan figures out a way to do it and you can't.
Taiwan.
I mean, that's amazing to me.
It's amazing to me how strong and virulent like nationalism is.
There's still people walking around being like, I love this country.
Relatives are dead in the street.
I love this country.
I love that I can't get tested for this thing I may or may not have.
It's a death wish.
Large segment of the population in this country wants to die.
They want to die.
They were brought up thinking that the glory would come after they died, that this life was a mere rehearsal for the next one.
This is what religion pounds into the heads of people while they're still kids.
And that's why many of those people grow up and they keep that belief and they treat their bodies and everything else like shit and they don't care because as soon as as soon as they have the glorious aneurysm or heart attack, you know, and they fall on the floor at Denny's, that's when things get good.
That's when things get good.
That's when it gets fun.
Our friend.
Our friend is calling.
Who is it?
Alex.
We'll call him later.
I will say this.
You know, I really truly every day get up and go, should I get the fuck out of Los Angeles?
Should I get the fuck out of Terminator?
Should I get the hell out of here?
And I don't know.
I don't know.
I believe that I don't think anywhere is going to be safe.
Truly.
If it goes as bad as it could and will go, potentially.
What'll save us is some antivirals.
Chloroquinine, little remdesivir.
What'll save us is some antivirals.
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
That becomes essential.
The erythromycin and the chloroquinine.
I hope it works.
I hope it works.
But I mean, and then we have, where's Joe Biden, by the way?
Where is Joe Biden?
Has Joe Biden, he's running for the presidency.
He's running for the highest office in the land.
He's disappeared.
His handlers are keeping him out of the spotlight because they know Hill will make a mess of this.
I mean, I had a joke in my actor.
I said the Trump-Biden debate is a debate where we don't need a country anymore.
We call China like a kid in a sleepover that's not working out and calls his parents and goes, hey, come now.
Just come now.
Leave now.
I'm ready now.
We're ready now.
There are people saying they're getting out of the Chinese quarantine and Americans living in China expats and who knows if they're writing these updates with a gun to their head.
They're going, things are better.
The bright future is ahead.
They just got a guy with a gun in your head.
You're sitting in a room staring at Chairman Mao's photo on the wall.
You're just typing.
Bright Future After Gunshot00:02:37
They just come in with a laptop, MacBook, sit it down, go, tell everybody how good it is.
Tell everyone outside how much fun we're all having.
This has been fun.
He says that they take your temperature everywhere now.
That might be the future.
Infrared technology.
In order to get into an event, you might not be able to get into an event with a fever anymore.
It's interesting.
If you have a fever, if you're feverish, if you're over 100, they might just say, you're not getting into this concert.
You're not coming in.
It's interesting.
That might be the future.
The future, I mean, Whitney Cummings was telling me she was going back from New York to L.A. and the flight, she said, was full.
No one spoke to each other.
Everybody was wiping down the plane.
There was no service.
The flight attendants did not speak to them and the pilot did not make any announcements.
It was like a crazy flight.
It was amazing.
You know, when I heard that, I was like, what a fucking amazing thing to go through, to witness, because I've flown so many times, and that has never been the case.
You know, I imagine even after 9-11, they made comments and they talked to you.
But right now, the level of fear is so high that nobody, you know, there was no communication between the flight attendants, the pilot, and the passengers on the plane.
Everybody was just sitting there, you know, wheels up, six and a half hour flight, wheels down, and then get off the plane and run.
The future doesn't look like the past did, especially in a way, you know, I'm watching these shows on Netflix.
There's this good show called Restaurants on the Edge, where they just go to restaurants that are in beautiful locations, but are failing because the food sucks.
They're poorly designed.
And what happens is Netflix goes, three people go, they have a designer, a restaurateur, and a chef.
They help redesign the menu.
They help redesign the restaurant.
And, you know, obviously all these restaurants probably still fail because the idiots, as soon as the Netflix team leaves, they go back to doing it their way.
You know, they're like, no, no, this actually, you know, and then, you know, whatever.
But I'm watching these chefs walk through these open-air markets to buy produce and to buy, and there's fish and, you know, fowl, you know, birds, and there's all kinds of things.
And you're saying to yourself, you know, obviously that is the reality for most of the world is these, you know, wet markets, these markets where live animals are sold.
You know, and then people walk through them and they take photos.
Do Chips Know Your Health00:04:02
I mean, are you going to, I mean, does that continue?
Are you going to go walk through those markets anymore?
Are you going to try something in one of those markets?
Somebody hands you a piece of fruit.
I mean, not that it's any better here.
I'm not, I'm not an idiot.
I know that things sitting in a supermarket are as likely to make you sick as anything.
But just the idea of walking through a market, you see live animals.
You see things like, is that, are you going to do that?
Are you going to hop up?
You know, are you going to go on a cruise?
Are you going to go on a cruise right now?
Are you going to eat at buffets?
Are you going to do all of that stuff?
Is that, does that survive?
Do those things survive a pandemic?
Probably.
People got to go somewhere to be disgusting animals.
But I mean, you know, travel.
Does travel take a hit?
Do people go, I'm good.
I'm good.
Or do people just say, fuck it, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go anyway.
I don't care.
That becomes the real question.
Is what does a world look like?
And I'm talking best case because worst case, forget it.
I mean, we've already went through that.
We're talking martial law.
We're talking crime.
We're talking the cities are abandoned.
We're talking the rich flee to their bunkers.
And that all looks to be the case.
But let's imagine we get on the other side of that or the effects of that somehow miraculously don't materialize fully.
On the other side of that, you know, are you allowed into an arena with a fever going forward?
If it is an 18-month pandemic that's cyclical where there's waves of sick people, are you allowed into a restaurant with a fever?
Are you allowed into a movie theater with a fever?
Fascinating shit to think about.
How does life change?
And then we get into the scary stuff.
And you know what that is?
The chips.
The bio, the bio security stuff.
You know, do they put a chip in you so they know how sick you are?
And if they don't like your behavior, do they just deactivate the chip?
They just deactivate you.
I mean, that's been those nano chips, the idea of putting that under your skin was so that they had all your health information.
So that now, in a world where anyone trusted the government, it's really not a bad idea on its face.
Like if you collapse in a Walmart and they come up to you and there's a chip that says, this guy's diabetic, he's this, he's that, he's got this, he's got that.
And they don't have to wait to find all that information out so you either regain consciousness or they can get your relatives on the phone.
The idea that that's all in a, in a, you know, there's a convenience there, but then how, but, but Jesus Christ, how much are you giving up for that?
How much are you giving up for that?
Giving all of your medical information to a government and letting them install a chip in you and then trusting that they can't do horrible things to you with, you know, because they have access to that chip.
Again, on its face, great idea.
That's an idea that's like, you know, but that's what comes down the pike.
What biotech firms right now are developing different types of, you know, diagnostic tools for concert venues, arenas, sporting events.
What restaurants, public places, resorts, amusement parks.
What biotech firms are going to go out there and start thinking about how to, you know, and maybe it's short term, maybe it's long term, maybe it's forever.
But if it is an 18-month pandemic with waves of things and you are, and you have, you know, you're a property that's insured and your insurance companies might come to you and go, you need to figure out a way to prevent sick people from coming in here.
You know, we got to insulate ourselves against the liability.
Fragility of Public Places00:14:55
We got to, it's fascinating.
It's very interesting to think about, you know?
We're going through some changes here.
The studio, we're going to modernize the studio.
Broadcasting has become is the future right here.
This is the reality.
We talked about this the other night.
Since live stand-up has been put on hold indefinitely, we are going to modernize the studio.
We're going to get a nice big television in here.
We're going to be able to pull up media in live time, in real time, whatever.
We're going to be able to bring you a better show, especially now it's super important that we are able to, you know, not only have some fun, but get out, you know, information or kind of, we all need to stay on top of what the fuck's going on, you know?
So we're going to be able to, you know, interview people on Skype and we're going to be able to pull up articles and pull up videos and things like that.
And that's coming down the pike and we appreciate that.
We also appreciate this one too, huh?
Oh, we'll do that at the very end.
Okay.
That one's audio only.
YouTube will get mad if we do that.
So the studio is going to, we appreciate everybody that's contributing on Patreon.
We know that everybody is in a bad spot right now.
Most people are in a bad spot.
We know that you don't have a lot of fucking money.
And that's why we're trying to put out as much free content as possible.
A lot of these free podcasts on our YouTube channel.
We also put out videos and everything on Instagram and Twitter, Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
And all the content and this podcast will always be free.
You'll always get one podcast a week free.
You'll always get a YouTube, one or two YouTubes, either an extra episode and then also a live stream that we do where you can ask questions.
All of those things are always going to be free.
The only thing you'll ever have to pay for is if you want the Patreon episodes.
And there's a lot of archives there.
There's like, you know, 10, 70 archived episodes, 170 hours of content you can sift through and a lot of interesting interviews with a lot of people.
And, you know, it's for $5 a month, it's a pretty good deal, but I totally get it if you don't have it.
And, you know, if you don't have it, we're still pumping out a lot of free stuff.
Don't worry about it.
You know, we want you to get yourself right.
Most important thing is for you to be financially okay during this thing.
We're going to try to figure out the best way to start donating some money to people or organizations.
I spoke to Andrew Schultz about it.
Right now, a lot of us are focusing on people that have been directly affected in our industry.
So waiters and waitresses at comedy clubs are fucked right now.
And those are the people that allowed us to earn a living being comedians.
You know, they were the support staff.
They brought you drinks.
They brought you food.
And they helped those operations run.
They made those operations run.
So we're helping those people now.
But of course, the scope of that, you know, is going to get bigger.
We're going to look for other ways to, you know, contribute money to people in real time that need it, whether it's food banks or stuff like that, because things are going to get ugly and they are going to get bad.
And if you do have money and you do have the wherewithal to kind of give people, you know, you can't volunteer right now.
Nobody wants you to leave your fucking house.
So the reality is if you do have the money, the money helps.
That's kind of going to be.
But I am also very careful about where you give money because there's a lot of institutions out there that misuse funds and misuse money.
So we're all going to have to figure out together how exactly we go forward with that.
And I'm speaking to some other comedians, you know, Rogan, a bunch of people that are, you know, that help a lot of different people, but we're all trying to figure out what's the best way forward.
You know, the next two to three weeks are going to tell us a lot.
They're going to tell us if the healthcare system completely collapses.
They're going to tell us if, you know, probably if we're heading into more of a severe lockdown, something that looks, or not that looks, that is a martial law.
These things are all on the table.
I don't know that we have to freak out about them because you don't really have control over them.
But the idea of, you know, the election getting pushed back or being canceled, the idea that, you know, come November, people are not going to be able or feel comfortable voting, getting together, you know, all of these things are going to change our lives for a foreseeable period.
It's not conspiracy mongering to say that we are, you know, in, you know, the survival of the country right now is not guaranteed.
And I don't say that, you know, to joke around, and I don't say that to be dramatic or to be an alarmist.
The survival of the country that we are living in right now in any, and by the way, the country in the sense that it looks or feels like anything you remember is not guaranteed.
It's not.
It's truly not.
And the people at the top know that.
We're at the precipice of something very, very challenging.
And if you see huge spikes in crime, if you see a global depression, if you see a loss of faith in the government, which I don't know how you don't see more of, I think it's because people are afraid right now.
So they're kind of ignoring certain things, the insider trading and stuff like that.
I think people are, you know, burying their heads in the sand.
But if you see those things happen, I mean, these are the ingredients that, you know, Bring about a fall.
And we see that.
And I'm hoping that doesn't happen.
And I'm hoping that we're able to weather it.
But it is not at all irresponsible to float those possibilities because they are real possibilities.
There's a real possibility that your city and local governments collapse because of this.
And that the federal government then rolls in the tanks and you don't have any more rights.
And it's not the America that you remembered.
And the rich go to planned communities where they have rights and you don't.
And they have the technology and they are able to weather the storm for however long it is, you know, and you, you know, sitting there in a Perkins, you know, or a Denny's or a pizza hut are not going to weather the storm because you are going to be left to unfortunately perish by the people that you put so much faith in.
And what will prevent that?
Bonds with your family, with your friends, when the time comes, you know, not right now, but when the time comes, probably there will be, you know, I mean, there will be some type of, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but it's like, there might be some type of organized resistance to what happens.
I don't know.
I'm fair.
I'm fair.
You know, it's funny because it's not, you know, we have to laugh at these things.
I mean, we are laughing at them, but no, if rich and powerful people leave us all to die, you know, you might have to go and visit them.
I don't know.
I'm just saying I am not, you know, I am not trying to sound the alarm here other than to say if you aren't going over these possibilities in your head, what is happening in your head?
What is happening in your head?
I'd love to know.
I mean, if you're not going over the real possibility that these people are going to pull the ladder up, I don't know what, is it the ladder up?
Is that the expression?
Yeah.
I don't know what you think is happening.
I don't know what you imagine is going to happen.
You better hope chloroquinine works.
You better hope Rem Desivir works.
And this might be, as Rogan said the other day, it might be a dress rehearsal.
Because the next pandemic, oh, you know.
But maybe, maybe we'll be prepared.
Probably not.
I'm going to be the Hollywood improv this weekend headlining.
Fuck them.
We're going to do it.
We're going to do it.
To cough minimum.
But those are the hack jokes that are going on on Instagram right now where people should be taken out and shot.
So, I mean, be careful the content you put out.
Be careful the content you consume.
You know?
You know, I wonder how it's all going to play out.
It's very interesting.
You know, the one thing that'll save us, this is literally what I believe.
This is truly what I believe.
I think the one thing that saves us is that the robots are not good enough yet.
If the robots could do all the things these people wanted, oh, goodbye.
I mean, truly, if AI and automation, like if AI was at the point where AI could do most of what the wealthy needed done, I would be like in total panic mode.
I think that we're still some years from that happening.
That might be the only thing that saves us.
It's not about Democrat or Republican.
It's not about any of that.
It's about this is just a strong survive in a sense.
This is Darwinian.
And that's what you're seeing right now is you're seeing nature.
You know, as Chris Hedges said the other day, we're in the middle of the sixth extinction or whatever.
This was a year before this even happened.
So, I mean, I'm not, don't, don't be too anxious.
Don't be too depressed.
Don't use too many mind-altering substances.
Stay sober.
Keep your mind sharp.
You're going to need it.
I'm hoping the worst doesn't happen.
I'm cautiously optimistic only because robots cannot do all of the jobs yet.
I don't think it's, you know, it's like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not trading on empathy here.
I'm like, thank God we're a little behind.
But, you know, keep your wits about you out there.
It's, it's, it's not going to be pretty.
And we appreciate you listening.
You know, reality really caught up with this show.
Really did.
And one of the reasons that the show has always kind of been darker is not because I'm some prophet or you're like, I, you know, I didn't, I don't live in a headspace all the time.
I'm funny.
But when you look around society, I always saw it as somewhat fragile.
And I think other people didn't.
I think that's what it comes down to.
I always looked at the institutions of society, how corrupt they were, the fools that were running the show.
And I always said to myself, these are fragile institutions.
It really wouldn't take much.
And now you're kind of seeing that this is how that manifests.
When you're led by sociopaths and clowns and goons and people that just really want money and power and they just enrich themselves and there's no checks on them and there's no democratic process that fucking means anything.
And everything is being sold to the highest bidder and everything's about the consolidation of power and it's a partnership of the public and the private sector.
It's the corporate state, as Hedges and other people have said.
When it gets so all-powerful, I mean, you look at it and you go, yeah, this is something that's just so corrupt, so incompetent, and yet also very ruthless, you know, and it lacks any empathy.
You look at a society that's like that and you go, yeah, there's the potential here for some real problems.
And we have children licking toilet seats on planes.
I mean, this is where we're at.
It's not a, I'm not making that up.
This is, there are people licking the toilet seats on planes because they're treating this as a joke.
It's a profoundly disturbed society.
I read today there's kids coughing on fruit as a joke in the store.
It's a profoundly sick and disturbed society.
And if you don't believe that, please point me to the evidence.
Please show me the evidence because I got a lot.
I got exhibit A, B, C, D, E, the whole alphabet.
So show me your evidence.
When we have kids licking the toilet seats on planes, tell me, by the way, fuck the pandemic.
Fuck that they're going to get a pandemic or that they're making their, you know, that they're putting old people at risk or that they're selfish.
Forget all about that.
What if they were just licking the toilet seats on planes?
How about that?
Let's ignore the social context.
What if kids, young people, young adults, were licking the toilet seats on an airliner and putting it on social media.
And you're telling me we are not a profoundly, these are the people.
It was pointed out by Whitney Cummings the other day on her podcast that last year were eating Tide Pods.
They were eating soap because they liked the colors and how it felt in their mouth.
And you're telling me we are not a profoundly sick and disturbed society.
They're eating soap and now they're licking the turlet.
Society Eating Soap and Licking Toilets00:03:50
And this is the future.
Okay?
I feel bad for coronavirus that it has to infest us.
Hopefully we fucking get ahead and beat this thing.
I really, really, really want life to go back to the way it was.
But this unmasks the whole thing if you're fucking thinking.
If you're looking around at how people are responding to this, how fragile it all is.
This unmasks the whole thing.
If you're fucking awake, you see how unsustainable our lives are.
Not only the systems which we've created, but how unsustainable our beliefs are.
The idea that we're safe and that people that know more than us are figuring things out on our behalf is not the case.
It's not the case.
Now, coronavirus tried to buy an ad on this show and I declined.
You know, I was contacted by somebody who said Corona wants to advertise on the show.
COVID-19 wants to advertise because they think they're getting a bad rap in the media.
And he goes, if anyone would understand population control, it's your listeners.
So COVID wants to come up and kind of just talk for a little bit.
And they're like, you want to interview COVID?
I'm like, not really.
Not really.
But good luck out there, folks.
It's going to be a fun couple of months.
We're putting out as much free content as we can.
Hope you and your family are safe.
Really try to get out there and, you know, but take some time to read some books.
Read some books.
How do we get here?
Read The Devil's Chessboard, David Talbot.
Read Family Secrets, Russ Baker.
Read other things.
Read Tragedy and Hope, Carol Quigley, History of, you know, the world in our time.
Read Harlot's Ghost by Norman Mailer, any of these things.
You know, read books like Sapiens.
Read other things.
Read books that I don't even know.
You know, read books about biology and epidemiology.
I don't know.
But, you know, figure out how we got here.
Figure out how most of our social media feeds are clogged up between a game show host, Mr. Trump, and a bartender, Misco Cortez.
And how those two people, we've decided that they are going to be our avatars.
They are going to be the people that speak on our behalf.
How do we get here?
How did that happen?
How did it happen?
It's not an accident.
Didn't happen by accident.
It's a long process of kind of giving up little by little, little by little, taking the hand off the wheel and just cruising and coasting.
And this is where it leads you.
This is where it leads you when you just take your foot off the gas and you just let it go.
This is where you end up.
So when you have the time, go and do a little reading and figure out exactly how and then read about other empires and how they fell and you start to go, oh, wow, this sounds familiar.
You know, everybody's obsessed with sex and food.
You know, they make celebrities out of chefs.
I mean, read about the fall of Rome.
It's fucking wild.
You know?
So, again, hopefully we make it over this hurdle.
Lessons from Fallen Empires00:00:48
Hopefully.
I'm somewhat in the middle.
I don't know.
Could be good.
Could be, you know, Lord of the Flies.
We don't know.
We don't know.
But if we do, we could look forward to coronavirus the musical.
We could look forward to so many shitty movies.
We could look forward to a banging Netflix doc.
Kids in 10 years would be smoking weed in their dorms watching a banging documentary about COVID-19.
You know, if there are dorms and if there are kids.