The Tim Dillon Show - 173: 173 - Shane Gillis

Nov. 10, 2019 - The Tim Dillon Show

01:41:37

173: 173 - Shane Gillis

# tim dillon steve bannon skid row american politics brennans cancel culture comedy industry david hogg donald trump fox news gun control debate hillary clinton joe rogan logan paul political polarization saturday night live shane gillis

Shane Gillis joins Tim in New York to discuss the SNL controversy, and stick around for the 30 minute patreon teaser where Tim discusses his potential presidential campaign and how he would seduce David Hogg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Timmy The Trash Can Intro 00:03:15
	Hi, I'm Timmy the Trash Can, and I love trash.
	Popcorn boxes, pops, and candy wrappers.
	Mmm, they all taste so good.
	Instead of throwing your trash on the floor, won't you please give it to me?
	Thank you for considering your fellow patrons.
	Hey, everybody, welcome to the Tim Dylan show back in the old studio.
	The great guest digital, thanks to Louis Gomez and Ralph Sutton.
	Uh, back here, Rogan did a podcast from this studio, so I said, You know what?
	I'm gonna fucking come in here and give him a real treat.
	We give him a real treat.
	You had Rogan Lang, now you have Tim Dylan with Shane Gillis, very funny guy.
	We love him, you know him.
	SNL, they're not using you a lot this season.
	They will, they'll start.
	They haven't written me in yet.
	They haven't written you in yet.
	Do you think, and I know you can't really say any of this shit, but like, is could you go on there and do like a bit?
	Yeah, is yeah, I think that I doubt it though.
	Yeah, I fucking uh no, I uh, you know what I mean?
	Like a little like a desk piece on update quick in and out, to boom me and be like something fun.
	Uh, yeah, that's the thing.
	I don't think it would be that fun.
	Yeah, I think it would be fun, right?
	Personally, yeah, but I think because I walked past uh last week, I walked past the fucking line.
	People sleep outside on Friday night.
	I always look at those people like, What's wrong with you?
	So, this city's got so much to do.
	I walked past them that night, and like they all, you know, it's all these like weirdos with like a Saturday Night Live snow hat like in a sleeping bag looking up from the street.
	I walked by and they were like, No, they recognize you, yeah, they all, of course, fucking knitted SNL scarves and shit.
	It was a good thing.
	Yeah, so these are sick people, yeah, yeah, these are sick because I always look at a show like that, and with all due respect to everyone who works there, because there's there's one or two people on there that are funny.
	I always look at a show like that, and I go, How does it have fans that are like the fervor of the fandom?
	I get watching it, I get being like, Hey, this is on at Sketch Comedy, and I think a lot of the fans of that show are casual fans of like this is the thing that's on Saturday nights.
	And listen, it's a historic, it's an important show throughout history, and it's had some really amazingly funny stuff happen.
	But, like, in its current incarnation, it's interesting that there are people sleeping on the street.
	Yeah, dude, I'm amazed that people are sleeping on the street to see anything, yeah, yeah.
	I mean, the one thing I that would make sense to me is sleeping on the street if like fucking Taylor Swift was there, sure, and you were about to see her in a really intimate, but uh, no, they were just SNL fan.
	And I walked past, and uh, this group of ladies, they were all ladies, a group of ladies were standing there, and they were like, Oh, it's Shane Gillis.
	Like, a couple of them were excited, and then one of them was just like, Gross, and gave me the finger, really.
	And I looked back and I was like, Oh, you don't mean that.
	Come on, can you imagine being that?
Walking Past Angry Fans 00:16:04
	Let me tell you right now: if I saw Bin Laden, and let's say I buy the idea that he killed 3,000 people, maybe he did, maybe he didn't.
	What do I know?
	11th grade.
	If I saw bin Laden, like my friend's parents were incinerated.
	If I saw Bin Laden at a restaurant, I would be like, ah, it's Bin Laden.
	Yeah, it's cool.
	It's cool.
	Like, the idea that people are that angry at you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	If I saw Bin Laden, I go, that's Bin Laden.
	Yeah.
	That's Chris Bin Laden.
	What's he about?
	It's like, if I saw fucking OJ, I'd be like, I love it.
	I do see OJ.
	I don't see him, see him, but I know where he hangs.
	I love OJ.
	I've said he's the only motivational speaker that anyone should follow.
	That's true.
	Because he's...
	What a comeback.
	He's lived the full life.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, O.J. Simpson has really, people are like, I've done it all.
	No, you haven't.
	Heisman.
	Have you?
	Heisman.
	Cut someone's fucking head off.
	Decapitated his wife and her fuckboy.
	Got away with it.
	Got away with it.
	Walked.
	Went back to jail.
	Somehow fucked himself that way.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	He is a guy.
	And I look, he's the healthiest person on Twitter.
	He's out golfing.
	How is he the most well-adjusted door advice?
	He gives advice.
	He's golfing.
	He's like, watch the drive.
	Like, I always watch his videos.
	He looks good for his age.
	He seems happy.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he's true.
	Do you laugh at the hate now?
	Because I know there was a time when you're obviously like, you're in it and you can't laugh at it as much.
	I suppose.
	I was laughing.
	You were kind of laughing at it.
	Were there death threats?
	They're not real, though.
	No, they're not real.
	Right.
	They're not real.
	So I knew that.
	I was never worried about death threats.
	Except at night, like before you go to sleep, then it's like, then you start thinking.
	And then you lock that fucking door.
	Yeah.
	You're like, oh, man.
	But no, death threats I didn't give a fuck about.
	Most of them were pretty funny.
	Like if someone would DM me, just like, you fucking fat racist pig piece of shit.
	I'd have to, like, I'd be walking around and reading that.
	It's so funny.
	What the fuck?
	Yeah, that's so funny.
	Yeah.
	A lot of it was really funny.
	And then even today, they did a fucking story.
	Judd Appatelle talked about me.
	And, well, they asked him about me.
	And he, truthfully, he like responded really nicely.
	Okay.
	Like a measured response.
	Yeah.
	Where he was like, I don't know him.
	So people said he was doing a character.
	I don't know whatever.
	Right.
	But the fucking title of the article is like SNL cast member fired for saying Judd Appatel was gayer than ISIS.
	And it's still how do you not laugh?
	Like, how do you not laugh?
	The headline is still funny.
	How do you not laugh at that?
	I don't know how you don't laugh at that.
	I guess Judd Appetow.
	I guess I get how he doesn't fucking really laugh.
	I don't know.
	If I had the money that Judd did and somebody said you're gayer than ISIS, I would go, like, who?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Think of what people deal with.
	And maybe he did that way.
	Maybe he was like, yeah, who gives a fuck?
	Who is that?
	I just, what he should have done.
	It's interesting that people, because it's interesting that anyone's, like, I get the Twitter mob, but anyone actually being mad, like seeing you on the street and being like, grabs, that's hilarious.
	That's crazy.
	When I looked back at her and I was like, oh, you don't mean that.
	Like, everyone kind of laughed and she smiled.
	It was like a fun thing.
	It's a fun thing.
	Publicly shaming.
	It's a fun public shaming.
	Is it weird?
	Have you seen any comics?
	You don't have to name their names.
	I mean, you're certainly welcome to.
	Have you seen any comics that threw you under the bus that it's awkward that you're near?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, for sure.
	Right.
	Like, yeah, there's Lori Kilmartin.
	Yes.
	She threw me under the bus a little bit.
	On Twitter.
	Just once.
	Yeah.
	She did.
	Yes.
	She did a show with me at the stand, came up after and was like, my bad.
	I didn't know.
	She was like, I didn't know you were actually kind of.
	Lori is funny and nice, but like she sat down at breakfast at me and Big J and we were discussing Nanette and like Lori was like, oh, did you guys not like it?
	I'm like, oh, you don't know any like we've never met, clearly.
	But no, she was actually cool about it.
	She was one of the things.
	Well, that's good.
	But she did it, you know, privately, not publicly.
	Well, that's what a lot of people.
	She shit on me on Twitter and then privately.
	A lot of people, the videos that I make, a lot of people will actually message me and go, that is so funny, but they will never retweet it.
	Fucking because they'll never, because we do some wild shit and they'll never retweet it.
	Yeah.
	They just go, oh, yeah, it's funny.
	Well, that's how it's always been.
	Yeah.
	Like when I went out to L.A.
	Yeah.
	And went on all these fucking general meetings.
	Right.
	I'd go in there and be like, I think Louie is the fucking best.
	Right.
	And every agent and fucking Hollywood.
	Like, yeah, he is.
	He is.
	Yeah.
	But we can't, you know.
	Yeah.
	Like every one of them.
	So behind closed doors, everybody knows what's funny.
	Well, that's what it is.
	It's like, and I think a lot of people that make a lot of big money, they got it.
	They got, I realize that I value freedom over money.
	Yeah.
	So like, I want to be able to say what I want to say.
	And if people are going to not like it, that's okay.
	But I don't know if there's enough money.
	I literally realized this and I'm like, I don't know if there's enough money to get me to shut up.
	It's just too hard.
	It's too hard.
	It's too hard just for me personally.
	And by the way, that makes me an idiot.
	That doesn't make me, I'm not being like, I'm a revolutionary.
	I'm too stupid.
	Like, I don't get, because there should be enough money to make me shut up.
	There should be.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	There should be, but I just don't know how to do it.
	I wouldn't know how to do it.
	Yeah, it's hard.
	Yeah.
	It's definitely hard.
	And that's what you and a lot of people don't realize.
	You could have went out and did a mea culpa and went, there's never been an excuse to die.
	I am ashamed of myself and I hate, but you didn't do it.
	No, I was asked to do that.
	You were asked to do it.
	And yeah, I couldn't, not because I was like fucking sorry about some things.
	Like I didn't want to fucking hurt anybody's feelings.
	Of course.
	I wouldn't want to, those words written like, that's not how I fucking said it or what the intent was behind it.
	I mean, and it did hurt a lot of people.
	I mean, that's what these Hong Kong protests are about.
	Yeah, they're fucking.
	It's about your podcast.
	It has nothing to do with the extradition treaty.
	That's a cover.
	It's a hurt a lot of people.
	Hurt a lot of people.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I don't, I mean, even saying that, I feel fucking corny.
	I don't even know if I really hurt to anybody.
	Well, listen, here's the deal.
	I think anything that we say, listen, this is what people don't understand about comedy.
	And it's because they're not funny or they don't understand the way that funny works.
	You cannot control how anyone takes a joke.
	Like I text people and I go, are they going to get what I'm doing?
	Yeah, no, they're not.
	You know, like I'll text somebody and I'll be like, I don't even, does this person hate me now?
	I'm texting a YouTube kid I'm kind of friends with, friendly with.
	And I text him with jokes and like, I don't know if he gets it.
	Yeah, I doubt it.
	But you, you, did you think to yourself, if I, if I apologize, I will for the rest of my life be owned?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	For sure.
	I was like, well, also, if I apologize for this and say like, this was inexcusable, they're going to find fucking way worse.
	They're going to be like, what about this?
	Way worse.
	What about this?
	Yeah, I'd be like, oh, well, that was also inexcusable.
	That was also inexcusable.
	And then when I'm done apologizing like that, what can I do?
	I can imagine them being like, you know, Mr. Dylan, did you make a joke about pedophilia?
	Yes.
	Did you dress up as a temple from a pedophile island?
	Yes.
	Yes, that was inexcusable.
	Yeah, I do apologize for that.
	But what I always say about your situation, I'm like, Shane Gillis got fired so that none of us can get hired.
	And I appreciate it.
	My agent called me the day it happened with you and went, well, we can kiss SNL goodbye.
	I was like, I didn't even know we were in contention.
	He's like, we weren't, but just in case he ever thought that's it.
	I don't fucking know I was in contention.
	Yeah.
	But what's great about, what I love about your thing is like, I, there's, I, I, part of comedy and the good part of it is like sports, right?
	Like there's like, there's, there's definite winners and losers.
	And like when you, when you watch somebody on stage crush, you're like, they're fucking winning.
	They might not have the comedy you like.
	They might, but as long as they're doing their own shit or whatever, it's like, it's a win.
	It could be an ugly win.
	It might not be a win you agree with.
	It's a win.
	And you, what people don't understand about that process, that audition process, it's a fucking hard process.
	It gets in a lot of people's heads.
	And to make it through that and to get the fucking job says something.
	And there's a lot of people that were probably angry at you, number one, because they knew that they could not make it through that process.
	Yeah.
	They didn't even get selected for the process.
	But it's like, what, can you talk about what the process is?
	Yeah, I can talk about my process.
	Yeah, I went, they saw me at JFL and Master Fest with Comedy Central and they were like, we want you to come in and test.
	So then you go in and you fucking audition on the main stage.
	And what is that?
	What is that audition?
	Usually you have to do like characters and impressions and shit.
	Right.
	But I think now they've loosened it to where like, if you're a stand-up, you can just do stand-up.
	Okay.
	So I just did five minutes of stand-up.
	And you're doing it to who?
	Table of writers in that whole fucking empty studio.
	In the whole big SNL studio.
	It's a table around Michaels.
	Lauren.
	Yeah.
	And that's the first time I ever fucking saw him.
	Yeah.
	He's a king.
	He's a kingmaker.
	Yeah.
	And when you get there, you don't, you wait in the green rooms or like the fucking cast members' rooms.
	Right.
	So you're just in there waiting.
	Right.
	And for like two, three hours while every single person they're auditioning goes through.
	And that's what gets in people's heads.
	That gets in people's heads.
	That gets in your head.
	Because this is the job in comedy.
	It's intentional.
	That's why they do it is to see if it gets in your head now.
	Right.
	Because it's a live show.
	They put it on Saturday night.
	It's live.
	So if you can't handle pressure or if you buckle, you can't be on the team.
	And I was sitting there thinking like, there's zero fucking chance I get this.
	So I literally, I was like, okay.
	You just had it for fun.
	Didn't give a fuck.
	Right.
	Just sitting in there.
	Best attitude to have.
	Dipping.
	Talking chewing tobacco in the back.
	Packing a lip.
	Yeah, I had a lip in.
	I was just sitting there.
	And then when they brought me in, though, that's when it really fucking hit.
	Because they bring you to a separate green room where you sit while the other person before you is on.
	And they're like, all right, you got five minutes.
	And it's like, oh, fuck, fuck.
	And it's not like people are killing because it's just a...
	You can't even see anybody else.
	You didn't see the room until you walk in.
	Right.
	I didn't even see the stage until I walked onto the stage.
	Right.
	So then you walk out in front of everybody and it's this big empty room with two cameras.
	All right.
	And they give you the fucking camera guy goes three, two, you say your name and go.
	Right.
	And then you just get the fuck off the stage after that.
	After you did the set where you're like, this is good.
	After I did the set, well, I had heard you're not like, people don't laugh.
	Right.
	But they laughed the whole time during the set.
	So I was like, good sign.
	Yeah, I think that's good.
	Yeah.
	And then when I, you know, I got the callback and I was like, fuck, I got it.
	And what was the callback?
	Callback was just to come in and meet all the writers and shit and producers.
	Crazy.
	It was wild.
	Crazy.
	And everyone was cool.
	Everybody was great.
	It was a fucking awesome.
	It was genuinely an awesome experience.
	It was all worked out.
	And that's why you have drinks.
	Because that's a wild process.
	And I've heard a few people have gone through that.
	And I know some people have not had the auditions they've wanted to have.
	And some people have had good auditions and it just still, for whatever reason, didn't work.
	Yeah.
	Well, also the thing is, is like, I mean, don't get me wrong, Saturday Night Live is fucking awesome.
	Of course.
	Like as soon as I got it, I was like, fuck yes.
	Yeah.
	But that was never on the agenda.
	Like, I was just, I knew I did this.
	Right.
	So I knew I was never going to be fucking mainstream like that.
	Yeah.
	I would have to, I just wanted to do stand-up.
	Yeah.
	It's interesting that we, you know, I feel like a few years ago, none of that was a consideration because nobody was doing, like, we, we were all kind of just waiting for people to give us a job.
	Yeah.
	You know, write us a check.
	And now, now that's a little different.
	I don't, I don't know.
	I, I, it sucks that everything is this fucking fractured.
	Yeah.
	Because I look at people that are talented that I think are very funny, but then I'm like, because I do this and I'm in this camp.
	Yeah.
	And they're in that other camp.
	And I'm like, could we ever collaborate or work together?
	Because you're like over there and you think I'm like, you know, in this camp of alt-right podcasters, which is completely insane and ridiculous.
	And I think all of them, like those guys are social justice warriors, but that's also insane and ridiculous.
	Like everybody's kind of afraid of each other, which is what it sucks.
	I feel like they bully us, you know?
	Yes.
	If I see them in public, I'm like, oh, fuck, they're going to, you know, he can.
	Some of these comics with complete impunity could walk up to me at a comedy club and be like, you piece of shit.
	Right.
	And everybody would be like, yeah, that's a lot of people.
	He's allowed to say that to you.
	Yeah.
	Or she's allowed to say that to you.
	It's like, okay.
	Have you had an incidence like that where people, somebody's been hostile openly?
	No.
	Right.
	No, it's mostly passive aggressive.
	It's like as they say in like hip-hop, it's like it's on wax.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's not real.
	It's not real.
	This isn't real.
	Same thing with Twitter.
	If you just delete Twitter, all the shit talk kind of goes away.
	It goes away.
	Yeah, it's hard, though.
	It's hard to stop looking.
	It's hard to stop looking.
	Yeah.
	I try not to read YouTube comments or Reddit comments or any of that stuff, but you kind of get back into that fray.
	Did you have any friends in your hometown that were happy?
	Because I would have friends, like my friends would be like, yeah, whoa, fuck you.
	Like I would, most of my friends would be happier that I was in a, embroiled in a national scandal than me getting a job.
	Because I'm from Long Island.
	So like SNL, they'd be like, whatever, national scandal?
	They'd be like, fuck yeah, yo, you see Tim?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like that, you know.
	Yeah, definitely had that.
	Definitely had, yeah, I mean, fucking comic friends were like that.
	Right.
	There was definitely like, there's a level of like people who own this network were like that.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Potentially.
	Yeah, right.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And I have it too.
	So I'm not shitting on it.
	Yeah.
	Or at least I had it.
	Hopefully I lost it a little, but where you kind of fucking, if you're not succeeding, when someone else succeeds, you're like, dah.
	And then when they get fucking brought down, you're instantly like, I'm here for that.
	Well, it also validates what a lot of people believe.
	It's a shitty thing, but a lot of people are like, you know, like a lot of people believe that the path we've all taken is the path and nobody, none of us will have mainstream success.
	And then when somebody does, we're like, oh, fuck.
	And then when somebody is yanked away, we're like, see?
	And it's, you know, I get it.
	It's not even.
	It'd be funny.
	If it happened to anybody else, I would definitely be laughing also.
	I was laughing and it happened to me.
	It was kind of funny the whole time.
	It was one of those things.
	Listen, one of the reasons I was going so hard on Twitter against a lot of this shit is like, I, I, I tend to view it all as like all of these people tweet about mental health every day and how important self-care.
	And then they're trying to tweet you out of a window.
	They're trying to tweet you to kill yourself.
	And it, to me, like the hypocrisy is so deep and thick as a comic.
	I look at it and I'm like, this is wild.
	You guys are the tolerant ones.
	All these comics that are exactly that are these super tolerant, like woke, fucking nice, all these things.
	They're the meanest fucking people I know.
	Yeah.
	Like Aaron Berg's the man.
	Yeah.
	Aaron Burt's a sweet guy.
	He's a sweet.
	And then you'll run into like a fucking gay writer from some show that's just a dickhead.
Twitter Hypocrisy And Mental Health 00:14:31
	That are angry.
	Yeah.
	Well, the thing that happened with the gay comedy scene, and I don't know when it happened, and I'm not a huge part of it, I'm not at all a huge part of it.
	I always forget.
	I'm no part of the gay comedy scene.
	And they just have no interest in me.
	I don't have a huge interest in them, but it's an insular scene.
	It's spun off from the alt scene.
	I will say this: in the queer comedy scene in New York, there's a little bit of talent, whereas in the alternative comedy scene, there's no talent.
	So it's a much better, it's a little, it's, but there's something going on now where people see that the route to success is to brand themselves as somebody with the right opinions and the right opinions on your thing were like that.
	What you do is hate speech or what we do in Legionist Kangs.
	Like these guys are hate speech.
	Skank Fest is Charlottesville.
	By the way, if they'd ever been near SkankFest, they would know that that's absurd, but none of them have because they're in this little scene and they don't go out and they don't know anybody and they don't know us.
	And to me, as a gay person, it was never interesting to me to just do a little scene of people in the East Village and entertain each other and entertain our friends.
	I didn't want to do that.
	I wanted to entertain as many people as I could because I'm a comic.
	That's my job.
	But I think the way that they, so they look at me and they're like, oh, this is a guy with the wrong opinions.
	Yeah.
	Like Tim Doh.
	You have to be like Ben Carson.
	Yeah, I'm like a Ben Carson.
	What the hell is he doing on that side?
	Yeah, I think, but they all still respect me that I'm funny and I can do well in the rooms they work in because I work those rooms.
	So there's no argument.
	They can't say that I'm not funny or that I can't do well in Brooklyn because I can do well and all that shit.
	But I just, I'm a little, I think they look at me and they're like, well, we don't really know where he stands or we don't like where he stands or whatever.
	But again, some of them message me privately.
	But what they don't realize is that the woke snake just eats itself.
	Totally.
	It'll eat itself.
	And what I like to gay guys used to pride themselves in being like tough, cynical, mean, catty, vicious.
	And then now they're moralists in this new and drag queens are moralists and it's boring.
	It's boring.
	The morality please is boring.
	That's why your aunt Cheryl is not a comedian.
	You know, it's like, because, you know, she's like, Jesus saves.
	You're like, that's nice.
	Thank you.
	Keep baking.
	That's fine.
	But nobody's going to pay money to see you in a nightclub, Cheryl.
	Like, so to me, seeing that, seeing, I mean, drag queens, when you talk about politically incorrect shit, they used to say the most fucked up shit.
	Yeah.
	Some of it was brutally, brutally funny.
	So insanely unpeasy.
	And now it's like they're afraid to say anything.
	And it's like, who wants a politically correct drag queen?
	Who wants a six foot three guy dressed up in a dress with a crazy wig who's like, the most important thing is to vote for Elizabeth Warren.
	It's like, what the fuck is going on?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Party lines.
	Make fun of that Asian guy and be like, he's got a little dick.
	Like, that's I don't know if I would do that.
	Well, you wouldn't do it, but if I saw drag queen not making, I want race humor.
	I want lowbrow like humor from a drag queen.
	I want lowbrow, not even good, not even particularly good, but just funny.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like funny, like, what the fuck am I even hearing?
	Humor from a drag queen.
	I don't want like some moral crusade.
	It would be insane.
	Like if Nanette was a drag queen, that would have been insane that special for her to walk out.
	Yeah.
	And, you know, I, you know, but I think it'll, it'll, it swings one way, it swings the other way.
	And some of those people are talented or whatever, but it is kind of funny that, you know, it is what it is.
	And some of those guys, you know, I'll message them privately and they'll message me back.
	They'll be like, oh, you're very funny.
	You know, one of them is like, I really enjoy your work or whatever.
	And then I'll be like, oh, cool.
	And, but again, there will be no public acknowledgement of that ever.
	Yeah.
	There'll be no public.
	Lewis is a sweet guy.
	People don't realize that Lewis Gomez is actually a good person.
	He is.
	He's a good father.
	Yeah.
	He's like a good dude.
	I know a lot of woke people who've done nothing for their kids.
	Lewis is like a good dude.
	And I think that that like fucking people don't understand that either.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Well, he is shitty, though, too.
	No, he's very shitty.
	He's shitty.
	He's shitty and good.
	I love him.
	You know, he's shitty.
	He's a good sweet man.
	He's a sweet guy.
	Yeah.
	But he's not a bad guy.
	Like these people think he's a hateful, bad guy.
	Yeah, but now he's doing that fucking thing with the glasses and the muscles.
	Well, he looks like Hunter S. Thompson if he didn't read or write.
	Yeah, it makes no sense.
	Yeah.
	It's not good to have a look.
	Yeah, but if you're getting branded right wing, don't have a particular look.
	Well, he just leans in.
	I mean, if they brand him as a furry, he'll walk around dressed like a rabbit.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, he just leans in.
	If they were like, Lewis is a furry, he'd be like, what up, doggies?
	Just with a big, you know, dog ears flopping around.
	He would lean into it.
	Are you, Matt and Shane's secret podcast, you should be.
	You still do that all the time?
	Yeah.
	Is that he's still in Philly?
	He's good.
	He's in Philly.
	He's having a kid and everything.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	What?
	How often?
	And Philly's two hours away.
	Yeah.
	It's easy.
	Yeah.
	It's the best.
	It's easy to drop down.
	Helium is one of the best clubs ever.
	It is.
	Yeah, I love that.
	Did I work with you there?
	No, we did McGoobies.
	We did Magoobies.
	I was with McKeever at Helium.
	He's a monster.
	He's a monster, ma'am.
	John McKeever.
	He was a monster.
	John McKeever was great.
	He featured.
	And then Chris.
	O'Connor.
	Chris O'Connor hosted.
	Those are my guys.
	And we had a lot of fun.
	And then I was with Chris in me and Chris O'Connor.
	Chris O'Connor is like crazy.
	He's like a guy that looks super normal in the night.
	And he's insane.
	He's a nightmare.
	Which way I like him.
	He's like my best friend.
	I love him, but he's not crazy for you.
	I'm going to expose him here.
	Go ahead.
	But me and him walked into a prison.
	We walked into a maximum security prison in North Carolina.
	Like he's like, I threw it out as a joke.
	I'm like, dude, we should walk in this prison.
	He's in.
	And offer to do a comedy show there.
	I want to see.
	And Chris is like, dude, yes.
	And I'm like, no, bro, what do we?
	And we walk into the prison and offered to do like a comedy show for the inmates because we wanted to see the prison.
	That's how insane.
	Well, O'Connor is that type of guy.
	Like, he's a guy he walks around in like a Patagonia jacket.
	Yeah.
	A North Face thing.
	He's like clean cut.
	He's from Connecticut, but then just inside, he's just unhinged.
	Right.
	He's just totally.
	Yeah.
	He's out of his mind.
	He's wild.
	This is how wild he is.
	Yeah.
	This is a story he's told before, so I don't feel bad telling it.
	Me and him did Helium Indianapolis.
	Yeah.
	While I was asleep, I came home late in the hotel room.
	Me and him shared a hotel room.
	I was passed out drunk.
	He got a hooker to come in.
	Great.
	Six in the morning when I got in.
	He woke up and was like, oh, fuck, I should get a hand job.
	Called a hooker.
	A hand job?
	Got a hand job in the bathroom while I was asleep.
	And she, like, that's the type of that's an insane hooker for a hand job.
	But it was an insane move.
	And the hooker was afraid of me.
	Like, she walked in and was like, you didn't mention.
	Yeah, well, you look like you look like you're going to disempower.
	She locked the door when I got in the bathroom.
	A hooker walking in a room doesn't want to see you or me unannounced.
	No, just they want to be prepared.
	They don't want to walk in and just see just some guy being like, oh, hello.
	Where's the party?
	Yeah.
	And he tried to hide it.
	He tried to hide it from me, but when I went to the bathroom in the morning, the lotion was all over the counter.
	God.
	I was like, Connor, what are you doing?
	Paying for a hand job.
	In Indiana?
	Great point.
	200, maybe.
	200 max to get her over there.
	200 max to just get her over there.
	God.
	Yeah.
	Do you?
	Sorry, sorry.
	Sorry, Chris.
	Chris O'Connor loves hookers.
	Great guy.
	He's a good guy.
	Yeah.
	Got 100,000 people listening to this.
	Go follow Chris.
	Tell him that there's nothing wrong that he likes prostitutes.
	Yeah, dude.
	Sex workers are.
	Sex workers are great.
	Yeah.
	And I'm pro-sex worker.
	I live in Los Angeles.
	The majority of people, like you look at couples in restaurants and you're like, this is just long, long.
	I fucked Chris.
	My bad.
	Yeah, we got good.
	We blew up.
	This show's done very well.
	Well, it started before that.
	It started with Art Shafir talking a lot of shit and then calling me and telling me to take it off the thing.
	Thanks.
	Oh, I remember that right here.
	So that started the bump.
	And then the bump just got bigger and bigger.
	And then Rogan, obviously huge.
	Me and Chris DeStefano, Giannis Papas just did a two-hour podcast that we don't know if we could release because we just went wild and started in a loving way shitting on other comics as a joke because it's fun.
	Getting in front of this because it's fun.
	And it's like, you know?
	Yeah.
	But and I use your example towards the end.
	I was like, why should we censor ourselves?
	None of them, they went after shame and they go after this.
	And these people say everybody's this and Louis's a rapist and none of them censor themselves, you know?
	But then at the end, we were like, still, we were like, probably like Chris, it was like, we shouldn't.
	Me and Giannis were like, yeah, we probably shouldn't.
	Yeah, I've done, yeah, put it out.
	Yeah, I've had a bunch of those.
	Yeah.
	And they still got me.
	Yeah.
	That was fucking watered down shit.
	Why didn't you?
	Do you think I had an argument with somebody?
	Do you think if there wasn't video to this, it wouldn't have somebody told me they had an interesting theory.
	They're like, if it wasn't video, it might not have been as big.
	Yeah.
	I don't, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	The whole time I was like, like leading up to it, I had like, I had like a month, like a week to be like, should I fucking delete everything?
	Yeah.
	And you didn't.
	I didn't delete it.
	I deleted a good chunk of our podcast, just the audio of it, just because there was some shit on there of like me shitting on comics.
	Right.
	That like now I'm friends with.
	Right.
	So it was from me in a basement in West Philly just resentful.
	Yeah.
	Talking shit on.
	Like I was doing open mics in Philly.
	Right.
	And I was like, oh, I'm not getting this because I'm a fucking straight white man.
	Right.
	Straight Alex Jones.
	And then as soon as I moved to New York, I got everything immediately.
	Right.
	And I was like, all right, well, maybe I was kind of being a pussy.
	Straight white thing.
	Right.
	And yeah, so I got rid of that stuff where I was like shitting on comics that I like.
	Do you know who found it and sent it to this guy?
	Somebody told me this, though, last night.
	I could find that out.
	Yeah.
	He told me, some kid last night told me it was a Philly, Philly Open.
	It had to be.
	That leaked it to, yeah.
	It had to be somebody that didn't like you.
	Yeah, I forgot to ask the kid.
	He has the, yeah, he could tell me it was.
	Yeah, it makes sense.
	The fucking the same fracture that happened here happened in Philly when I was there, where all the woke kids.
	Well, now I don't know what hell else to fucking describe them.
	There was just this.
	We'll say bad comedians.
	But here's the thing.
	Not all of them are.
	Like, there are talented people that are just insane now.
	And I think a lot of them are people that are like a lot of the interesting, it's like they're rich, white, straight guys in LA that have been at the top of that.
	And they're like, they're like, got to work extra hard.
	Yeah.
	Because they're like, I'm going to retain my position.
	So I got to fucking really.
	Yeah.
	There was one lady that literally fucking, she tweeted out that I called her the N-word.
	Right.
	Because she said I called her a sand N-word.
	That's not true.
	I was like, this is crazy.
	I was like, what part of the bit is that?
	I was like, that's a really aggressive crowd work.
	At Helium, I ran into one of her friends.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, well, what the fuck was that?
	Like, are we about to just lie?
	And she was, this is how she literally responded.
	This is the type of people we're dealing with.
	She was like, well, just because she wasn't telling the truth doesn't mean she was lying.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, wow.
	Fucking does because she tweeted my name out.
	Yeah.
	And said I called her the N-word.
	That's crazy.
	Yeah, man.
	It was fucking wild.
	So the fracture in Philly happened.
	The fracture in Philly happened like it did in most places when Trump won.
	Right.
	When Trump won, all those, the fucking harmony kind of broke and they needed to get somebody.
	Right.
	They felt compelled to be like, this is how we fight this power.
	And they just would attack like me.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	And yeah.
	Do you think, do you think that like your personal relationships with any of them impacted that?
	Totally.
	Do you think like when you look back, where you're like, man, maybe I could have been nicer to some of them or I could have been a little personal.
	Of course.
	Yeah.
	I mean, we were in the same scene.
	Sure.
	We're doing the fucking three mics a week together.
	I'm not really nice to people either.
	I'm getting drunk and getting on stage and being like, look, there's a decent chance I'm the only one here talented enough to do this.
	I mean, I did that every night.
	Every night I would get up and say, everyone should quit.
	I still do that.
	I do that to millionaires.
	I would get up and say, everyone should not do this.
	Yeah.
	Because I thought it was funny.
	And I also believed that every word I was saying was.
	It is funny.
	It's very funny.
	And accurate.
	So, but yeah, so I know that there's people out there that aren't that.
	And they hate it.
	They get really resentful.
	If somebody else did it, like if somebody got on stage and was like, you should quit, I'd laugh.
	I'd be like, yeah, that's pretty funny.
	Yeah.
	The other thing is like, dude, I had Norm McDonald who's a legend.
	Tell me I did Last Comic Standing.
	He's like, what are you doing here?
	It was like five years ago.
	He's like, what are you doing here?
	I'm like, he's like, how long are you doing comedy?
	I'm like, four years.
	He's like, it takes 10 years to be a comedian.
	So I was just like, and now he like thinks I'm great or he thinks the stuff I do is really funny.
	So it's like you get a gut punch from this legend, this icon.
Grandma Died Laughing 00:06:04
	Yeah.
	And you're like, you're in a thrust in a situation you're not ready to be in.
	And he's like, so it's like, if you can't take me or you with an open mic saying, I quit.
	Well, that's why.
	Yeah.
	That's why they should quit.
	Right.
	They couldn't handle that.
	Right.
	Like one, one guy got upset because when Trump won the night he won, the night of the election.
	Yeah.
	One of my favorite nights of comedy.
	It was wild.
	I'll tell you where I was after that.
	Yeah.
	So I was at Helium's open mic, which is a Tuesday night mic.
	Okay.
	So we're on stage just coming out and being like, because every comic was going on and crying.
	Right.
	And be like, this is horrible.
	And then I would go on and be like, woo, suck our fucking dicks, dude.
	We did it.
	USA.
	Like all that shit.
	But at the comics mic, like where it's.
	And you don't even care.
	It's just fun.
	I don't give a fuck.
	We didn't care.
	No one care.
	I don't want it.
	He shouldn't be the fucking person.
	No, it's a very show host.
	But it's like not good.
	But for me, it was.
	Yeah.
	I was sleeping on a fucking mattress EDFD.
	I was, I was, you know, I didn't care who won.
	Right.
	And at the comics mic, I was, I said, I said fag.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, well, we're allowed to say it now.
	Trump won.
	I don't know if you guys know this.
	We're allowed to say fag.
	Right.
	Clearly a fucking joke.
	Clearly a joke.
	Like, couldn't be more of a joke.
	And people, you know, some guys got upset.
	People got angry.
	They were upset afterwards.
	In the room, everyone was laughing.
	Then I got some angry shit.
	The power of comics.
	And a lot of us buy new our own bullshit of like what we can do.
	And I think the reality is that we're not that important, like at all.
	Not at all.
	We're not at all really important at all.
	And like none of us were.
	Like Carlin, Hicks, Pryor.
	Nobody really was.
	Listen, they were important to us.
	They were important in the art form.
	To the overall thing, they were not a huge deal, really.
	They just weren't.
	So I think that that inflated sense of what comics can do, but I was at the just to go off of that.
	Yeah.
	The inflated sense.
	The one thing I do want to apologize now that I have a decent audience here.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Didn't mean to say I'm a comedian that pushes boundaries.
	That shit was corny.
	Okay.
	I retract that statement.
	Yeah.
	In the moment it made sense.
	Right.
	I literally, I had five minutes to type that fucking thing.
	You're trying to write a statement for the entire world in five minutes.
	And it's, yeah, I literally, I had five minutes.
	Right.
	Because I was saying, no, I'm not going to write it.
	And then I got a phone call that said, hey, fucking write something or we have to fire you right now.
	Right.
	So I was like, all right, here's something.
	Yeah.
	And I didn't really apologize.
	You should have texted me.
	I would have written something.
	I had a pretty good guy writing.
	Man, I wish I had that platform.
	Dear World.
	I know.
	No, that's what you think.
	Yeah.
	That's what you think.
	No, of course.
	No, you don't want to.
	And I, yeah, there were so many times.
	I mean, I wish I just posted.
	My thing would have been, as a comedian, the Jews.
	It would have been fun.
	That would have been.
	Yeah, in hindsight, yeah, of course.
	I wish I wasn't.
	I was at the Chris Gethard live show.
	Okay.
	Sitting next to a guy dressed like a banana who was crying.
	He was crying like, what's the term for like just non-stop crying?
	Sobbing.
	It's like sobbing, wailing.
	And I said to him, I said, cheer up.
	But I was like, you're a banana.
	Like, cheer up.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He goes, I'm a plantain.
	And I said, well, it's Trump's America.
	You're a banana.
	You're a fucking banana, dude.
	And, you know, rich white women, of course, had thrown themselves on the floor and were beating their hands on the floor.
	Oh, yeah, man.
	They had brought me in and Ray and Ray Comp, who co-hosted the show at me for a long time.
	They brought us in as like lovable heels because they thought Hillary was going to win and we were going to be like, listen, who cares?
	She's corrupt.
	She's a crook, but it doesn't matter.
	You know, whatever.
	They brought us in as like that.
	Then when it looked like Trump was winning, and I was on the phone with my friend Drew Michael, and Drew Michael was working at SNL at the time as a writer.
	And he was telling me that Kate McKinnon and all those people were like crying.
	It was like wild.
	And I was like, well, didn't they know that this was an option?
	Like one of the two was going to win.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Like one of them was going to win.
	And I was on the road for that year.
	I knew that there was a very good possibility it was Trump.
	I didn't think it was going to be Trump, but I knew there was a possibility.
	Yeah.
	I haven't cried.
	Like my grandma died today.
	Right.
	That's true.
	Really?
	That's true.
	Oh, God.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	How old was she?
	I forgot about it.
	I don't know.
	She was 85.
	Interesting.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
	I didn't, like, that was a loss.
	But, you know, that's fucking life.
	These people, a fucking political candidate lost.
	And they were throwing them, like you said, rolling on the floor.
	Like it was some sort of like the Holy Spirit took over.
	Yeah, and it doesn't.
	It doesn't mean that grandma thing in there.
	No.
	It's pretty funny, though, right?
	It's hilarious.
	It's hilarious.
	I'll tell you that.
	Yeah, this old woman died.
	My mom's mom.
	That was my last grandparents.
	Did you like her?
	I couldn't think of one nice memory.
	And I lived with her for a little while.
	Okay.
	But she was funny.
	Do you think she leaked the podcast to Seth Seiner?
	Fucking good.
	That dirty bitch.
	I'll never be on that YouTube.
	Never.
	She was funny.
	I'll give her that.
	She was like an old dickhead.
	Mean people are.
	Mean, funny lady.
	Mean people.
	Almost died for the last year.
	But she almost died.
	She hung on to just torture everyone.
	I've had to iron a suit like three times this year.
	Yeah, everyone's like, get ready.
	She's going.
	She's still there.
	Come in.
	She's fully clothed, walking around.
	But while she was dying tonight, I was on the phone right before he came in.
	My mom and her siblings were around my dying grandma, and she took her like, and my aunt walked over and like grabbed her head and was like, oh, mom.
	And then my grandma was like, scared her.
	And she jumped and then they all started laughing.
	And my family was dying laughing while my grandma died.
	She died with her kids around her laughing.
	That's great.
	What a great.
Maya Named After Angelou 00:08:15
	The best way to go.
	What a nice best way to go.
	Just laughing their asses all the time.
	Just laughing.
	While she's choking.
	Yeah.
	Was she conscious to know that stuff was going on with you?
	I don't think.
	Oh, yeah.
	Fuck.
	Maybe that killed her.
	Maybe it did.
	Blood on your hands, Seth.
	Yeah.
	What do you think is wrong with a guy like that?
	I mean, obviously, probably, I don't give him a ton of attention because I don't want to.
	I mean, Giannis fights with him all day on Twitter.
	I'll wake up.
	Giannis fighting with him.
	I'm like, Giannis, I have a bagel.
	Yeah.
	But is a guy that just wants to watch things burn?
	He seems angry that he.
	He's a joker, dude.
	Yeah, he is a joker.
	He seems like a guy that's just unhappy.
	Did he ever reach out to you?
	Was he ever like you have a comment?
	Do you have it?
	He wanted no part of that.
	He just wanted to.
	I would have fucking talked to him, too.
	Because I also think he believes he's doing a fucking good thing.
	Right.
	Like, I think he does.
	I don't think it's this.
	No, he probably does.
	I don't think it's as vindictive or fucked up as.
	So did Muhammad Atta.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think he genuinely believes like he is doing something good.
	I don't think it's...
	I mean, of course, there's some vindictive shit underneath it all, but I think he probably thinks he's doing the right thing.
	Yeah.
	And you just kind of, you're like, I'm not holding grudge.
	I don't care.
	Right.
	Because if it wasn't him, it would have been somebody else.
	Yeah, for sure.
	I don't care at all about him.
	Yeah.
	Like, I think he's, I don't care.
	He's fine.
	Yeah.
	He's exactly who they are.
	Right.
	So it's impossible.
	Like, it's like getting mad at a dog for biting you.
	Right.
	You'd be a psycho.
	Right.
	It is what you know.
	It's just what that's that guy's nature for sure.
	Yeah.
	Is to do it.
	Is to be a tattle.
	Yeah.
	He's a tattletale.
	I've had those.
	I get that it's serious when Trump won, and I get that people were upset.
	And because they're like, well, there's, but it's like, it's also like, well, you're living in a country where half of the people disagree and the other half, like they all, like the reality is that people disagree.
	There are people that think abortion is murder.
	I don't think that, but there's people that think that.
	Yeah.
	There's people that think that gay people are dangerous.
	I don't believe that.
	I think that they're wrong.
	But there's people that believe that.
	I don't want those people put in internment camps.
	I don't want to lose any rights.
	I don't think gay people should lose any rights, but I don't care what you think of me.
	Like, that's the other thing.
	It's like, I don't really care what your opinion of me is.
	And I feel like a lot of this comes from the idea that everybody has to think a certain way and you have to control how they think.
	I don't care.
	It means nothing to me what people believe.
	And I think when Trump won, it was this affront to this idea.
	It's like, yeah, you're sharing the country with people that some of them agree with you.
	Some of them don't.
	Many of them don't care.
	You know, this whole thing about everybody hates everybody.
	It's like, no, people don't care.
	No, yeah.
	And here.
	I travel.
	You see these crowds of people.
	You can go from fucking Brooklyn to Nebraska and everybody's like, all right, whatever.
	And there's nobody who's really doing hate speech on stage and getting a laugh.
	Like, nobody's doing that.
	That doesn't happen.
	That's the other thing that people don't understand about comedy clubs.
	You can't get up and start saying wildly offensive things if they're not very, very, very funny.
	And everybody's laughing because they know it's a joke.
	And if they don't know it's a joke, even if they think it's not a joke, that guy looks like Andrew Schultz, who hasn't succeeded.
	Some guy just walked into Gast Digital.
	I don't know who that guy is.
	He didn't put the captions underneath.
	Yeah, he didn't do the captions.
	That guy did not put the captions.
	But it is wild.
	Now you just go from here, like, fuck it.
	Does anybody that you became friendly with in a surprising way from this?
	Yeah, there's been a couple, but like, as far as moving forward, it's like just fucking keep doing stand-up.
	That's all, like, again, that's it.
	Now I'm doing the road.
	I got fucking...
	That's what I was, that's what I was doing before this thing.
	Right.
	I just started headlining.
	Yeah.
	Just started headlining.
	Were there people that didn't have your back that you were disappointed that didn't have your back?
	I swear to God, I didn't give a fuck.
	Like throughout.
	Interesting.
	Most of the time, I didn't give a fuck.
	I mean, it took a lot out of me.
	It was just phone call after phone call after phone with agents and managers and fucking NBC and fucking the news was calling.
	Every news out in the world was calling.
	They all get your number immediately.
	It's crazy.
	Somehow they get your cell phone immediately.
	Of course.
	I get my family's cell phone immediately.
	But yeah, as far as people that didn't have my back, I don't know.
	No, I don't think.
	Yeah.
	There's nobody where you were like, eh.
	No.
	Yeah.
	That's good.
	No, I didn't have any grudges.
	I don't have any grudges against anyone that really, really spoke out against me.
	There's a couple that I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
	Right.
	Like, what are you fucking doing?
	Like people that you knew personally or no?
	People that I knew kind of.
	But just, again, I don't.
	Doesn't matter.
	It doesn't fucking matter.
	And also, I get people that listened to that clip.
	Yeah.
	If you read that clip under the headline that was like, this is racist as fuck.
	Wait till you hear this.
	Right.
	It's going to look pretty fucking bad.
	Right.
	But if you listen to it and are like, oh, maybe he's making fun of people that would segregate Chinatown.
	And then you also, and then you also get fans, and there are also people that think it is racist and think it's great.
	And then they start emailing you.
	They're like, you're great.
	Yeah, there's guys that'll fucking, yeah.
	The only people that recognize me are white dudes.
	So I'll be walking down the street and a white dude will just be like, oh, they're like, listen, you took it to the Asians.
	Now you got to talk about flat earth.
	You know?
	Just keep speaking your truth, bro.
	Yeah, some of that's crazy.
	Sometimes I'll get messages and I'm like, God.
	Yeah, you get a lot of those.
	Most of the hate, the fucking DM.
	I was getting like fucking hundreds of DMs every single day for the last like month of just people talking shit.
	Yeah.
	And everyone, if you respond with like a sad face emoji, they immediately retract.
	Well, the other one.
	They just want attention.
	Yeah, it's weird.
	They just want attention.
	Like somebody would be like, sometimes people attack me on DM.
	I'll respond to something.
	They'll be like, I'm just kidding.
	I love you.
	I love the show.
	And it's like, oh, you just, you want to just engage with people.
	You have some, you just want to engage.
	Yeah.
	What about your parents?
	What's the family?
	How did they?
	They were, they're fucking cool with it.
	I mean, they obviously have a sense of humor.
	My mom just laughed as her mom died tonight.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	They're obviously they're funny people.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They're dark, funny people.
	But my dad, the only one he got fired up at, and my mom, they got worried because when I got in trouble, I did a spot at the stand where I made fun of, I said it would be funny if Trump got shot.
	Like his assassination would be objectively a funny footage of the assassination would be comical.
	Him getting shot.
	So I did a joke about that and there were fucking reporters at the show that took it out.
	They wrote it down and sent it to Fox News like that week.
	Wow.
	So Fox News ran a fucking thing that like I was joking that it'd be funny if Trump got shot.
	Oh boy.
	Or like Shane Gillis calls for assassination of God.
	So when my parents saw that, my dad was like, what the hell?
	What the hell are you doing?
	Yeah.
	This is our only bridge.
	You're burning your last bridge here.
	Don't get the Trump people going yet.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's the last thing.
	So that was the one thing he was upset about.
	That's so funny.
	Yeah.
	Because he loves, dude, he loves our president.
	Yeah.
	He loves 45.
	Trump has a cult following.
	Yeah, he got dads.
	I think my dad liked him too, but he doesn't admit it because his wife is very liberal.
	So I think my dad, like, like my dad just texted me, like, his wife's listen to their three dogs names.
	Ruth for Ruth Peter Ginsburg, swear to God.
	Fred for Frederick Douglass, Freddie, and then Maya for Maya Angelou.
	These are his wife has named the dogs.
	Are the dogs that are named after Frederick and Maya?
	What color are they?
	One is white and one is black and white.
	Fred is black and white, and then Maya is all white.
	Oh, really?
	See, doesn't that seem a little...
	Listen, it all seems a little like it's a problem.
	Don't name your dogs.
	But my dad texted me the election night on the night of the election.
	My dad texted me, he did it.
	And I was just like, what do you mean?
	Don't you mean we did it?
	I was like, dad, what do you mean by he did it?
	I got the text and I was just like, yes, he did.
TikTok Cringe Compilations 00:09:10
	It was just funny.
	And I was like, oh, that doesn't seem like he, you know, his wife was like very upset and went to bed early and he was just kind of sitting up and he's texting me.
	What's the feeling?
	He's like, oh, it doesn't seem because it doesn't seem like you're broken up about this at all.
	Once everybody around us started crying, it kind of got like, you like, look around, you're like, this is pretty fucking funny.
	Well, to me, it was funny that I was also just like, a lot of this is a show, folks.
	It's all a show.
	So a lot of it's a show.
	Obama had the camps.
	He had the people in the camps.
	I mean, he wasn't dividing the families, but like it was a similar situation.
	It wasn't out of no, it wasn't one guy that can't deviate.
	Like, listen, Trump, I think the thing with Trump is the aesthetic, the way he talks, the way he deals with people.
	How good was that Baghdaddy speech, though?
	I mean, it's great.
	One of the better presidential speeches of all.
	He's made comedy almost irrelevant.
	Comedy almost doesn't make any sense now because you're never going to be funnier than him.
	He's the funniest guy alive.
	I mean, his speech about Ben Carson is still the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life where he goes, he went after his mother with a hammer.
	And the people in the audience, like, they don't know what's going on.
	And he's like, he's like, he's like, and he tried to hit his friend with a lock.
	And he's talking about these revelations in Ben Carson's book and he's an eye war or something.
	And he's just going and going.
	And it is so wild that you're like spellbound.
	You're like, this is fucking hilarious.
	And he's just, you know, that weird jazz kind of talk he does where he just, you know.
	Have you seen his hour right now?
	It's strong.
	His hour strong.
	You can YouTube any one of his live events.
	Dude, I've always wanted to go to a rally and not because I'm like agree with what he says and not because the people there aren't fucking insane.
	I think anyone at any political rally is mentally ill, right?
	Yes.
	Of all the things you could do at your time is stand in a fucking warehouse and hear a narcissist shout at you.
	Although when I go on tour, I would like you to do that for me.
	But at least, but I want to go to a rally because I think it is like the funniest show that you'll ever see.
	But I've fully accepted that America's over and that we're like, it's done.
	We're on the decline.
	I'm like, no.
	You don't think so?
	No.
	What positive?
	I'm fucking an idiot.
	I don't know anything.
	College football still fucking rules.
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	We got that going for you.
	Yeah, it's a good book.
	You been to a game lately?
	No, I should.
	You should go to that.
	It'll fucking get some.
	I just think the problems are too deep that if they do get solved, it'll be some miracle.
	And it's like, I'm not personally invested in like what it is.
	What's going to happen is going to happen.
	We got a lot of, you know, we got automation coming, AI.
	The reason that Trump, like Trump is like, I want Logan Paul because here's the thing.
	I like Logan Paul.
	I met Logan Paul doing Theo Vaughn's podcast.
	Do you remember Logan Paul with the whole thing in the Suicide Forest?
	Loved it.
	Yeah, well, I didn't realize why people got that angry at him, but he, you know, he was canceled.
	He was, you know, lost endorsements.
	He was being, you know, attacked.
	Everybody online, celebrities, people that were his friends.
	And I talked to him about that.
	He goes, people I knew that were my friends were turning on me.
	And he goes, I know I made a mistake and I did a stupid thing.
	But he goes, the vitriol and the hatred that was coming at me from people that I was friendly with and that I knew was wild.
	Well, it's also with that one.
	It's also like people like me.
	I had never watched any of his stuff until I watched that episode where he was in Japan, like dressed as a Pokemon, throwing Pokeballs at random Asian people.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	So then when you're watching that, you're like, Jesus Christ.
	Yeah, it's a little much.
	He fully admits that he was wild.
	He was a little wild.
	He was wild.
	And this is why I want him to be present.
	I went to his house to do a podcast.
	He lives like the kid from Blank Jack.
	He's just got sneakers and Ferraris strewn around the yard.
	You know, they've got a film crew filming him.
	Him and his brother just walk around.
	It's like Netflix, you know?
	It's terrifying.
	And he said to me, he said to me, and he said to me, he's like, you know what?
	In 10 years, if I'm bored, I will run for president.
	And I had this really dark thought.
	Not only would he do it, but that he might win.
	And then I had even the darker thought.
	I went, and he might not be that bad.
	He actually might be pretty good at it.
	And should I get involved now to start trying to groom him to be the president?
	Should I be Logan Paul Steve Bannon?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	And here's why I'm able to do it.
	I've given up on the idea that it's all going to be okay.
	Like, I think I've embraced what the stage of the empire we're in.
	And I think Logan Paul is a fitting president for that stage of the empire.
	He's a good Nero.
	I think he's a fitting Nero.
	And I want to help him get there because he...
	You have a horse and sent him.
	He's a highly disciplined guy.
	He's, I don't, I think he's.
	Yes, yes.
	No, I mean, he's, he's well put together.
	He's got abs.
	I think, I think he could do it.
	Here's the other thing I think.
	You have all these YouTube stars.
	They're all in 15 years, 20 years, they're all going to be multi-millionaires, have huge fan bases and no skills.
	So I think that's the pool of people that you're going to get your politicians from.
	They're going to come from YouTube because that's, you know, they just, their only provable skill is like amassing these large followings.
	Hey, guys.
	Made a lot of money.
	That's their skill.
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, guys.
	Just garbage.
	But that's what's going to win the presidency soon.
	Hey, guys.
	Are you feeling good?
	Like, I think things are going to get so bad where like these guys are just going to be able to like, because I think the fireside chat will be like a YouTube where they just get on and they go, hey, guys, are you feeling good today?
	I was feeling bad yesterday, but today I'm feeling a little better.
	There's a makeup tutorial.
	And I hope you are too.
	I think that's where we're going.
	And then they're going to be like, now watch me eat this cereal very slowly, you know?
	It's, it's, so I, I, that's where I'm, I'm actually trying to, to investigate what I would have to do to, to.
	I think you're doing the right thing right now, getting in front of this thing.
	Let him know.
	I'm letting him know.
	Who are you thinking for vice?
	Well, no, I got a Paul Paul ticket.
	Paul Paul, I don't know.
	I think we're going to got to go with a woman.
	We've got to balance out the straight whiteness of it all.
	You get woe Vicky.
	We need one of them.
	Yeah, Woe Vicki or bad baby.
	We need one of them.
	Bad baby.
	Bad baby.
	She just got smacked up.
	Yeah.
	By Woe Vicky.
	So Woe Vicki.
	Now is Woe Vicki Philly?
	She sounds Philly.
	They both look like Kensington to me.
	North Philly.
	Can you look up, Bobby, where Bad Baby's from, please, and start producing this goddamn show.
	And Woe Vick.
	Can we get a Bad Baby and Woe Vicky where they're from?
	Thank you, Bobby.
	I know when Rogan's in here, everybody pays attention.
	When I come in, everybody likes to go to sleep.
	They look like either Long Island or Philly.
	It does.
	Yeah.
	Well, they're a city where the opioid crisis is.
	Yeah, it's ravaged.
	It's ravaged.
	Ravaged the area.
	What do we got, Bobby?
	What do we got, Robert?
	Robert Hutchinson with us.
	Bad Baby is from Florida.
	Yeah, I'll do it.
	That's it.
	That'll do it.
	And what about Wo Vicki?
	I think she's from the desert.
	Now, Bad Baby has some catchy songs.
	What about Wovicky?
	Now, Lil Zan follows me on Twitter.
	You know Lil Zan?
	Little Zan?
	Little Zan.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Zan is.
	Yeah, I'm very happy about it.
	Wow, Zan's a decent candidate.
	Zan is, you're absolutely right about it.
	It's going to be a good cabinet.
	It's going to be good.
	I think the Chinese are.
	There's no part of me that's kidding about this.
	I want everyone to know that.
	I know.
	There's no part of me that's kidding about trying to put Logan Paul in the White House.
	That's a good ticket.
	I don't think he'd be that bad.
	Where is Wo Vicki from, Robert?
	She's from Atlanta, Georgia.
	Woe Vicki.
	Is she good?
	Is Woe Vicki good?
	That's good.
	That's what you want for those red states.
	You want to get someone from Georgia.
	You need somebody from Georgia in there.
	That's good.
	Logan Paul and Woe Vicki.
	I think Logan would be.
	Are there any of those YouTube guys?
	Because there's a, listen, in LA, man, you know, there's no real line between them and us.
	I mean, obviously the line of like, he lives in a mansion and I live in someone else's house that they've abandoned.
	What is the like, is there any YouTube guys that you watch and you're like, oh, that guy's funny?
	It's not our sensibility.
	Yeah, I don't really watch too many.
	I watched some fucking Vine.
	Some of those guys are good.
	Yeah.
	Some of those Vine stars.
	Some of them are.
	TikTok's hilarious.
	Well, TikTok's crazy.
	TikTok is every clip.
	Like, if you go to a TikTok cringe compilation, it is a person you've never imagined.
	Every scene.
	It's a face you've never seen.
	Right.
	Or thought that could exist.
	That's every person is that ugly.
	Do you think that we should be on TikTok?
Technology Is A Pandora Box 00:13:38
	Because I'm like, I wasn't on Twitter early.
	I wasn't on Instagram.
	I'll never.
	I don't think I'll ever be on any of that stuff.
	Oh, interesting.
	Well, you've had an experience with it.
	True, I'm not the biggest fan of social media.
	A little bit of an experience.
	You've had a negative experience.
	It was not a great time on Twitter.
	And I was just getting on Twitter.
	I was just figuring out how to use it.
	You're just figuring out.
	In 2019, I slowly figured out how to tweet things.
	Yeah.
	And then once I started, the wheel started turning.
	Your first tweet was like, hello, everybody.
	Hello.
	You retweeted the SNL.
	Sorry, that was your first tweet.
	Your second tweet was like, ladies and gentlemen.
	In fact, I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was wrong.
	Yeah, that was a funny part was having to write these congressional apologies.
	Well, talking to Logan, I talked to him about it and he was like, yeah, he goes, you really can't let that shit get in your head because it is a big thing when people just come for you.
	Yeah, it's embarrassing afterwards.
	Yeah.
	Afterwards, when you realize how serious you took it.
	Right.
	And I kept trying to remember that.
	I was like, just remember in like a month, you're going to be like, I wish I didn't say all that.
	That's embarrassing.
	Yeah.
	But I think I did.
	I'm proud of, not proud, but I'm okay with how I did it.
	Yeah.
	This is my first fucking year in New York.
	You made a splash, bro.
	Big year.
	Your first year in New York, you made a big splash.
	What are you going to do next year?
	Go on the view.
	Shane Gillis gets hired by the view.
	How great would that be?
	No, no, no.
	That was like one of my favorite.
	There was this, there's a knockoff view.
	There's like an urban view.
	The talk.
	The talk.
	Yeah.
	So on the talk, there's a big black lady that somebody on Reddit referred to as Mother Nature, which really made me laugh.
	Like, Mother Nature defends Shane Gillis.
	And it was that lady talking.
	And one of the sister sisters, Tia or Tiar Tamari.
	One of them that's on the show.
	So the black lady was like, white boys be saying like fucked up things on purpose.
	Like they know it's wrong, so they say it.
	Right.
	And comedy.
	Yeah.
	And she was defending it.
	She was like, that's how white guys are.
	They say fucked up things.
	And then sister sister was like, wait, so they know it's wrong and they say it anyway.
	Yeah.
	That's it.
	It's like, for sure, yes.
	Yeah.
	That's why he said it.
	Yeah.
	He knew it was wrong.
	Interesting.
	And what's funny to see a revelation occur.
	They were like, oh shit.
	Maybe that's what comedy is: saying stuff you shouldn't say.
	Dumb stuff that's a taboo.
	What would comedy be if it was just things you should say?
	Like, think of the think of what that would be like.
	I was not in my prime.
	Right.
	I was not in my prime.
	That's it.
	You know what?
	I've seen a few specials since hers.
	I had no idea how good hers was.
	Hers is not that bad.
	I got to be honest with you, dude.
	Some of the ones that have come out after that, I mean, you're like, God, give us Nanette.
	Yeah.
	There was a recent one where the lady who made it had talked some shit on me a little.
	And I was delighted to watch her special.
	It was, as Yannis Papa says, watching a dictator's daughter give a special to an audience with guns to their head.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's what it was.
	Yeah.
	You know, that's absolutely what it was.
	And, you know, we don't know if that pot's coming out.
	Mianni and Chris.
	That was wild.
	Yeah.
	I think it's funny.
	Hilarious.
	It's really, yeah, I mean, that's what.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's, you know, she didn't even seem like she was taping a special.
	She seemed like she just like rolled in and everyone was like, surprise, it's your birthday party.
	We're taping a special.
	Yeah.
	What did she say about you?
	Do you remember?
	I don't, I'm not certain we're talking about the same person, but I think we have to be.
	I mean, it has to be.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I didn't listen to it.
	I didn't listen to it.
	So it might not have even been that bad.
	Okay.
	But I ran into her later the next day, and the first thing she said to me was, have you gotten therapy?
	Have you seen someone?
	Oh, maybe, maybe we're not talking about the same person.
	Definitely not.
	And I feel bad.
	What?
	Who are you talking about?
	Probably shouldn't name him.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	There's no point.
	There's no point to me because she might be great.
	I don't know her.
	Right.
	And I don't even know exactly what she said.
	Interesting.
	So, like, can we play Mecky Leaper's?
	Yeah, let's just watch this fucking punk.
	Let's play Mecky Leaper's.
	Mecky Leaper is a friend of ours.
	Let's play.
	Go to his Instagram, Bobby.
	It's Mecky Leaper.
	We're going to play his video today.
	He made a video today in Times Square, and he's very proud of it.
	He thinks it's really what.
	And like, sometimes I'm like, he's a smart guy, very smart, very talented.
	But sometimes he does things, and I'm like, this is goofy.
	What are you doing?
	Oh, there it is.
	Here it is.
	Turn with the music up, Bobby.
	I mean, look at that.
	What is this?
	Put the music on, please, Bobby.
	Is there a way to put the music on?
	This is what I love about Gas Digital.
	I mean, he's spinning around and then he gets grabbed by what Iron Man.
	It's insanely bad.
	Yeah.
	It's so insane.
	Somebody goes laughing my ass off.
	This is like Glee 2007.
	Well, you know, you get so that's the thing.
	Like, the Mexican, the Mexican, he's got those glasses and shit.
	He's going to get those types of fans.
	He's going to get people be like, oh man, this is good.
	It reminds me of Glee.
	Now, meanwhile, you and me are getting fans.
	They're like, yeah, you should say those words.
	Please.
	I'm getting fans where they're like, I'm armed and I'm ready.
	And like, wait for a while.
	Hold on.
	Every dude, I get DMs every day to be like, hey, you want to come down and shoot?
	You want to shoot some guns with me?
	Interesting.
	Let's get fucked up and shoot some.
	You, me and my dad are going to go shoot guns.
	Isn't that sweet?
	It's like, thanks, man.
	Where?
	Now, where can it's interesting to ask you for plugs?
	Where can people find you?
	I mean, let's plug the pod because everybody loves that.
	Matt and Shane's secret podcast.
	Matt and Shane's secret podcast.
	Matt and Shane's not that secret anymore.
	It's not that secret anymore.
	Had it been secret, this guy would be.
	I'd be doing all right.
	You'd be on Weekend Update right now.
	Yeah, I would have got fired.
	You think?
	I think eventually I would have got fired.
	Interesting.
	Pretty, I mean, yeah.
	If, yeah.
	Live dates.
	Plug some live dates.
	We have a lot of people.
	What are we at?
	When's this getting released?
	Coming out Sunday.
	It's Wednesday right now.
	All right.
	So next week I'm in the city.
	The next thing I have is just November 30th, Laugh It Up Poughkeepsie, December 13th and 14th, Worcester Mass at Wuhaha, 26th, 27th, 28th of December, Magoobies.
	And I just added today, I just added Helium Buffalo.
	And then Stress Factory in New Jersey, both Stress Factories, Comics, Mohicans.
	I don't know.
	Just fucking go.
	Listen to Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast.
	And then your website?
	You have a website where your dates?
	Yeah, and I got to fix it because it sucks.
	ShaneMGillis.com.
	At Shane M. Gillis on Twitter.
	I'll post it.
	There you go.
	Hyenas, Fort Worth, folks.
	This weekend, November 14th to the 16th.
	Coming up.
	Vermont Comedy Club, November 21st through the 23rd.
	Stress Factory in Bridgeport, Connecticut, December 5th through the 7th.
	Comedy Connection, Providence, Rhode Island, 13th and 14th.
	Magoobies, January 9th through 11th.
	Zaney, Chicago, Illinois, February 5th through the 8th.
	House of Comedy, Bloomington, Minnesota, Minneapolis, Bloomington, Bloomington?
	MN.
	Bloomington, Minneapolis, April 9th through the 11th.
	House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona, May 7th through the 9th.
	Comic Shepherd, Edmonton, June 18th through the 20th.
	Carolines, first weekend headlining Carolines in New York.
	That'll be awesome.
	Yeah, March 12th through the 14th.
	Pretty wild.
	Very exciting.
	Yeah.
	Should be fun.
	So grab some of those tickets too.
	If you can, Tim J Dillon, D-I-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter.
	And go follow Shane.
	Go leave the show, you know, a five-star rating and a review.
	Tell your friends about it.
	Share those videos that we make, you know, unless they'll get you fired.
	We don't want that.
	I don't need that out of my fucking head.
	And or you know what?
	Or take a stand and get fired and share the video.
	Yeah, don't apologize.
	Go home and don't apologize.
	You know, tell your family, listen, we got to fucking just fucking take one for the team here.
	And we're not going to, no, we're not going to be able to live.
	We're not going to be able to live.
	But then show them and it'll be very funny.
	Show them the video.
	You know?
	All right.
	Thank you, folks.
	Goodbye.
	Hey, guys.
	It's Ben, the producer of the show.
	I'm recording alone in LA right now.
	Tim is still in New York.
	I'm not sure what he's up to.
	He's probably at Smith and Walinski's taking pictures of meat, or he's turning Epstein's townhouse into an influencer wall.
	I don't know what he's up to.
	So I'm just sort of laying around thinking of different ways to destroy Tim's career.
	If you listen to the show, you know that's pretty much my main role.
	I'm constantly trying to sabotage everything Tim has built over the past decade.
	I devised a great idea to take Tim down, and that is I'm going to post a 30-minute teaser for the Patreon episode this week at the end of this episode.
	So that's what you're about to hear: Tim and Ray Cump in a hotel in New York.
	Just a 30-minute teaser.
	I'm incentivizing you guys to go sign up for the Patreon, patreon.com slash the Tim Dylan show.
	Here's the thing.
	There's 145 archived episodes and a bonus episode we do every week.
	That's a lot of content to sift through.
	You could probably find something in there that's very foul or problematic and you could take down Tim.
	He's on the verge of becoming a very big comedian.
	I can't have that happening.
	So we need to take him down.
	There's conspiracy theory episodes.
	There's Whitney Webb, former CIA agents, Nick Bryant, Russ Baker.
	There's a great episode where Tim interviews someone who almost got killed by a gang of serial killers called the Smiley Face Killers.
	There's a lot of funny episodes too.
	There's an episode where me and Tim are just driving around Beverly Hills and he has the window rolled down and he's just screaming about, you know, pedophiles and billionaires and dark money.
	Episodes with Giannis Pappas, Ray Cump.
	There's a great episode with Jessa Reed where she talks about talking to aliens and tapping into a higher dimension.
	There's a whole assortment of stuff, not to mention we post longer versions of the sketches there and other video content.
	Tim posts pictures.
	He posts updates.
	There's about 1,500 people that have already joined the Patreon.
	So please go over and join that and help me finally take Tim down.
	So here now is a 30-minute teaser from the episode Tim did with the great Raymond Cump from a hotel in New York this week, where Tim considers running for president.
	But yeah, I mean, I don't know, man.
	I do think that YouTubers are, you know, as annoying as many of them are.
	Right.
	You know, they figured something out.
	Should I get on YouTube?
	When I walk around, yes, no, yes.
	What would my gimmick be?
	Should I be like a chef or something?
	I think you'd have to go pay pig.
	Paypig.
	But there's no legitimate pay pigs, are there?
	No, well, pay pigs are like FIDOM, like financial domination, where you'd call someone up and be like, come here, Monty.
	But that's not, that's like hot chicks to that.
	What I think you should do is like mukbangs where people feed you.
	Oh, you'd have to like eat a whole, you could get on and like eat a whole Boston market chicken and make like the sounds, you know, and then describe it.
	Dude, you would get 200,000 views.
	If I mukbanged, if you went and recorded yourself eating a Boston Market chicken with the gravy and just slurping and eating like an animal.
	You'd eat the bones?
	I don't know if you'd eat the bones, but I think you would get, you could, I'm not even kidding.
	You might get a quarter million views or more.
	I like watching.
	You could go viral if you started thinking like that.
	I like watching those videos where those guys go to the Taco Bell and eat the whole menu.
	Or like Arby's.
	There's something comforting about like a guy goes to Olive Garden and he eats like everything on the menu.
	And it's just like, look, all these weird variations and he's just like getting sick and he hates it and he's feeling like, you know, he's slurring and getting slow.
	Is that true?
	Yeah.
	I mean, he's not eating the whole thing.
	He's eating like a bite of each.
	But like, yeah, like, well, he's eating, you know, chicken carbonara, chicken carbonara with bacon now, chicken carbonara with like a bite or two if he's a bite to each, but you know, you're there for an hour, two hours.
	And he's eating the entire meal menu of Olive Garden.
	Yeah.
	I didn't even know that was a genre.
	It's called, it's a try guys.
	Oh, and they just eat the whole restaurant?
	Well, it's not the only thing they do, I guess, but that's all I watch with them.
	He goes to McDonald's or Burger King.
	He did Arby's.
	You know why I used to watch on YouTube a lot and I used to enjoy Alex Jones.
	Yeah.
	What happened to him?
	He didn't really eat a lot.
	He would talk about coffee occasionally.
	But yeah, I think if you went into that situation where you started like, you know, you had a channel where I don't be a competitive eater, right?
	Because there's that guy's like stony.
	Oh, no.
	Like, he'll eat like literally like a hundred Big Macs.
	If you like went on YouTube, put like beat, like ground chuck beef, you'd cook it.
	You'd cook it.
	Right.
	Like you put it in your mouth and just squish it and ate it and then poured milk over your head.
	You would get like hundreds of thousands of views.
	Why am I not doing that?
	Because here's what people don't realize.
	Technology is that Pandora's box that's been opened.
	You can't put it back in, and it's really making people sick.
	Yeah.
	Like all the things that just crossed your head where you would just be like, all right, that's not right.
Son Had A Voice Box 00:02:33
	I'll just get rid of that.
	Like, we're really going into this very strange, weird rabbit hole of like things we just want to see.
	Yeah.
	We just want to watch things.
	Right.
	We're all becoming weird, passive viewers, and we just want to watch things.
	You need to get a hobby.
	I keep saying it, but like, you know, people need to.
	People do have hobbies is watching the trial.
	That's not a hobby.
	Passive things aren't hobbies.
	Okay.
	Build a model car.
	Okay.
	That's to be the biggest loser hobby ever.
	All right.
	Stamp collecting.
	Tennis.
	What about tennis?
	That's a hobby, sure.
	Yeah, why do you have to be stamp collecting?
	Why does it have to be some weird serial collection?
	Maybe a fucking hobby.
	Collecting people's skin.
	Got something you can really sink your teeth into.
	Stamp collector.
	That's a valid hobby.
	Stamp collector.
	It's not as big as it used to be.
	But the guy who I used to live in his house and he died.
	Why did he?
	Are you confessing to something?
	No.
	He sounded like he was about to confess.
	He was an old man.
	Wait a minute.
	Hold on.
	How old was he?
	98.
	How did he let you live in his home?
	Well, I was my landlord.
	Oh.
	He had a huge stamp collection.
	He was also the head of the prisons of the psychiatric prisons in Suffolk County for a while.
	How did you meet him?
	I was just Craigslist.
	They vouched for you?
	Who did?
	No, I mean, like, I thought you got him through the prison.
	No, he was a head of psychiatric prison.
	Oh, so you just met him through Craigslist?
	Yeah.
	And you told him you worked at the jail.
	Did he like that?
	The morgue at the time.
	He liked that.
	Yeah.
	That was good.
	That's interesting.
	I used to work.
	I mean, he's like, he probably talked he had stroke already at that point.
	And sometimes I would hear him at night going, Icewater.
	Ice water.
	Because his son is drug recovering.
	His son was in recovery.
	He had a voice box.
	Like, wow.
	He was a good guy.
	His son had no voice.
	Well, he had the voice box.
	You know, he's like, hello.
	That thing.
	Hello, when I talk like this.
	Yeah.
	Hello.
	Why did he have a voice?
	Was it lung cancer?
	I think lung cancer.
	His son had a voice box.
	Yeah.
	He told me when I first came in, like, my son is a survivor.
	I'm like, great.
	Perfect.
	He was a good guy as a son.
	But I guess he would get annoyed.
	I think the dad was a little abusive when they were growing up because he would not go get him ice water, even though he was asking for it.
	Really?
	I mean, eventually, maybe.
	I know one time he fell in the bathroom.
	And my friend was over.
	My friend was a little drunk.
	And he was.
	Well, because, like, we're hearing this.
	We're hearing like he's going.
	Oh, God.
	He's going, help, help, help.
	And I'm like, I'm at this point a little desensitized to, like, he's always making noises.
Stock Market Rates Discussion 00:14:31
	And, like, the sun's going to come down.
	Like, oh, I'm going to storm into their house.
	Like, I'm in the basement.
	It'd be like, I don't have free reign in the house.
	As he's yelling, help, help.
	What are you and your drunk friend doing?
	Well, I'm just going, it's fine.
	It's fine.
	And my friend's like, we have to help that man.
	And he was probably right.
	Fine.
	Sit back down.
	What are you a hero?
	Sit down.
	And eventually, my friend wouldn't shove about it.
	So I called Robert.
	I said, I think your father is falling.
	And eventually, like, oh, I'll take a look at it.
	And yeah, the next day, he's like, thanks for calling me because he was, you know, he's falling in the bathroom.
	And he was stuck between the toilet and the bathtub, I think.
	God.
	But he was a stamp collector is my point.
	We need a war with China.
	We need a war with China.
	Be nice to your kids.
	Maybe we'll get you ice water in 40 years.
	I mean, I, man, God, thank God we will not be 90.
	Yeah.
	I was at this wedding recently and I was like, I think I want to get married and have more of a traditional life.
	Yeah, me too.
	Yeah.
	Why don't we have a joint?
	Like, I'm not marrying you.
	We'll have a joint wedding together.
	That's an interesting idea.
	Yeah.
	Like, I'll marry Lucy and you can marry, you know, I don't know.
	Logan Paul or whoever.
	Yeah, Logan Paul, man.
	I'm telling you.
	The marriage is convenience for him.
	He's going to do a lot better than you think.
	I will back him for president.
	I need a, you know, I was watching that Steve Bannon talk the other night, and I'm like, I need a Trump.
	You need.
	I need a Trump.
	You think you have a tactical mind for that kind of thing?
	Well, I mean, if not, who cares?
	Sure.
	But you just want to, you want to be a kingmaker.
	I mean, I thought you were the star.
	You need a Bannon.
	I like to play a little game, though, but I'm talking about years from now when I'm bored of comedy and I don't give a shit.
	Right.
	You need to be Trump.
	You don't need to find it.
	You need to find a Bannon.
	It's an interesting question.
	Should I be the president?
	Fair point, right?
	I take you over fucking.
	I don't think Logan Paul is going to connect with the masses.
	He's connecting with kids, but like the people who like he's not going to whip people into a frenzy like you can.
	You can, you know, you can get this.
	This is interesting.
	Now you're making me think maybe the president of the United States shouldn't be Logan Paul, should be me.
	Yeah, I agree.
	Wow.
	This is very interesting.
	I don't know.
	I'll be your goddamn Steve Bannon.
	Yeah, I mean, maybe.
	I mean, this is an interesting question, you know?
	First thing you do is you got to get fatter.
	You're not weird in between.
	You need to be a Chris Christie type.
	They want real fat.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And you need to.
	They want political cartoon fat.
	You need to move your permanent residence.
	You have to live there, but you have to be a resident of Pittsburgh.
	I like that.
	Yeah.
	First of all, I don't hate these ideas.
	Right.
	And I have.
	Now, here's the thing.
	I have a nickname.
	Yeah.
	Now, what is the nickname?
	Oh, what was Trump's nickname?
	What do you mean?
	Like the Donald?
	Well, there was the Donald.
	There was.
	I'm trying to think.
	Oh, they call him the God Emperor.
	Who calls him a God Emperor?
	They're all right.
	Everybody online.
	They call him the God Emperor.
	So are you asking me for what the alt-right's going to call you online or are you asking for a nickname?
	I need a nickname.
	El Fuego.
	El Fuego?
	What does that mean?
	The flame of the fire.
	Not because you're a gang.
	This is like just in general.
	I don't know if I can pull that off.
	That sounds very Latin.
	It is.
	Spanish.
	What about the boss?
	No, the chunk.
	Chunk.
	Chunk.
	What about cum chunk?
	Come chunk?
	Come chunk?
	Come chunk.
	Why not just like, you know, slut pig?
	What are you doing?
	Why not slut?
	Yeah.
	Well, look, you can call yourself.
	Yeah, call yourself the pig.
	The pig.
	Yeah.
	That I like.
	The pig.
	The pig will get it done.
	Pig eats what it has to eat.
	That's what you need.
	The country needs a pig.
	A pig's comfortable in the mud.
	Pig eats a shit of an ass too.
	Pig will do what it wants.
	And pig tastes real good.
	Smarter than me.
	Look.
	Pig is smarter than he looks, and pig sometimes makes a sacrifice.
	It feeds the whole family.
	Yeah.
	A pig can do it.
	Yeah.
	A pig will do it.
	I'm a hardworking pig.
	I'm a pig.
	I've been a pig my whole life.
	I'm your pig.
	I'm now your pig, America.
	You actually have your announcement speech.
	Like, look, as crazy as Trump coming down the escalator, making that offhing thing, you literally get naked.
	You get in the nude and you get into the mud.
	With hogs, pigs.
	Yeah, like with pigs.
	And you go, this is what I am now.
	I'm here for you.
	I am your pig.
	Yeah.
	And you're just like, you know, they have to blur you out to show you.
	Look at these animals.
	These animals, they're perfectly adapted for their environment.
	Yeah.
	They roll around in the mud.
	They love it.
	They enjoy it.
	You're not like humping the pig, but you're kind of like mounting it just for the sake of it.
	Projection of power.
	Yeah.
	The pig.
	Tim Dylan, the pig is here.
	Yeah.
	I'm your pig, America.
	I'm just sitting there watching with a clipboard going like, you know.
	Tim Dylan, American pig.
	American pig.
	American pig.
	This could win.
	This could fucking win.
	I'm not even kidding.
	This is not the worst idea.
	Are we doing 2020 or waiting for 2022?
	We're waiting.
	We're waiting.
	We missed the boat on 2020.
	But we're doing 2020 for American Pig.
	Yeah.
	He's from Pittsburgh.
	Right.
	What are they famous for?
	It's not Philly cheesesteaks.
	What do they eat?
	Yeah, like a loose meat sandwich, I think.
	Yeah, that's what they are.
	Yeah.
	Acoustic people.
	Oh, you're simple people.
	You're solid on the earth.
	Just want a nice cold beer and a sandwich of loose meat.
	And I'm your pig.
	Watch the Steelers.
	You need a pig to do your bidding in Washington.
	Yeah.
	I will be that pig.
	Right.
	Interesting.
	The Pittsburgh pig.
	And when you call out a fellow congressman or whatever, it's oi coink, I say to you.
	Right.
	That's what all my supporters will do.
	They'll go, oi, coink, oink, oink.
	This MAGAS will be pig noses.
	This is so much less tasteful than Joker.
	Like, if Joker won, you know, this is like the most tasteless villain.
	Oink oink.
	We just hand out bacon at the rallies.
	Eat your pig.
	I feel like we can make this work.
	I mean, now I'm really thinking maybe I was wrong about Logan Paul.
	Maybe I should just do it.
	Logan Paul can be like treasury or something.
	Right.
	Good idea.
	Make him like national security advisor.
	He's lean.
	He's tough.
	He's buff.
	Yeah, exactly.
	But I need to really run the show.
	Yeah.
	Use the cabinet.
	We'll have Logan Paul.
	Can you find me a job?
	Yeah, economics, treasury.
	Yeah, treasury or chairman of the Fed or something.
	Ooh.
	Ooh.
	Qualify for that.
	Mervoff.
	I mean, who else?
	We got to staff it up.
	Defense.
	Who we get for the defense?
	Defense.
	Jesse Ventura.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	For Rogan's got to do something.
	Rogan can be National Security Advisor.
	I don't feel he.
	He's a very highly disciplined guy.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I'm thinking more of it.
	I was getting.
	Secretary of State.
	He's very good at talking to people.
	Yeah, I think more of a science-y kind of thing.
	Ooh, interesting.
	But what is that even?
	I mean, the thing is, like the agriculture, the agricultural secretary got a sign.
	It seems like an insult.
	I don't want to get agricultural in there in state.
	State.
	Secretary of State.
	We need Rogan on our side.
	State.
	Okay.
	We can get Andrew Yang to run the private prisons.
	Okay.
	I feel like he'd be good at that.
	I like that.
	Bernie can.
	Bernie's dead by the time.
	We've killed Bernie.
	He's going to die.
	He'll die naturally.
	Can we get Hillary to be your running mate?
	No, she's going to.
	She goes, I said, dude, do you think she's getting back in?
	Why is she all over the news right now?
	What's she been doing on the news?
	I heard there was a little bit about this, but what's going on?
	You know, she's on the daily show.
	She's on The View.
	She's kind of making the round.
	She's doing the late night show.
	She's doing Colbert.
	She's out there.
	Do you think she's going to make a last-minute swoop into the primary?
	I don't know what she's going to do, but Fox News, you're at a poll where she beats Trump.
	She beats Trump.
	Yeah.
	Fox News is though.
	Did Fox News completely turn on Trump?
	It seems like they.
	No.
	They've definitely shifted a bit.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I don't really watch them frequently.
	No, neither I.
	They hated them in the beginning, and then they got on board.
	They got on board very late.
	Fox News?
	They're the organ of establishment, Republican opinion.
	Sure, but they're also like, you know, pig sloppers.
	Yeah, but only when they realized it was too much slop that they had to get in the mud.
	They weren't, they were going to back Bush.
	Dude, Rush Limbaugh was all against Trump Hannity, the whole crew.
	Really?
	The only person who was with him was Ann Coulter.
	Everybody.
	No, I know they weren't like backing him as a de facto candidate, but I don't feel like Fox News isn't like Charles Krautheimer and fucking, you know, like.
	He was on Fox.
	He was, but he's also like, you know, outspoken.
	My point is, it was a polite Republican establishment.
	And Trump, I mean, Fox wasn't really like that.
	No.
	But they were a very mainstream country club, conservative establishment that also did not like Trump in the beginning.
	Okay.
	They briskly.
	I know they weren't.
	They didn't love him, but I mean, like, the country club Republicans didn't watch Fox.
	Yeah, yeah, they did.
	Yeah, they did, buddy.
	What are you talking about?
	Of course they did.
	You're talking about this Efeat intellectual Bill Crystal Wing, National Review.
	Right.
	That is very small, heritage, you know, think tank guys.
	Yeah, you're right.
	That's not the rank and file.
	Right.
	You know?
	Even though the other guys make 300 grand a year, they're dummies.
	No, of course.
	They want entertainment.
	Right.
	They want to go home and hear Lori Ingram defend the use of the N-word or something.
	Yeah, sure.
	No, you're right.
	They want some nice entertainment.
	But Clinton.
	Yeah, I don't.
	Is she beating?
	Is she getting the nomination?
	Is she beating Warren even?
	No, but I don't know.
	I mean, here's the bigger question.
	The one thing, this whole impeachment.
	Dude, Biden wins.
	Do you think Biden's going to win?
	Listen, listen to me.
	Biden wins.
	He picks Hillary as his VP.
	Yeah.
	They win.
	Biden's so dirty with this Ukraine shit.
	Right.
	He gets impeached.
	Hillary's the president.
	House of Cards.
	Sure.
	That'd be fun.
	Do you think this Ukraine thing hurts Biden severely?
	I think, I don't know.
	I think that obviously I'm just floating a conspiracy theory that's fun.
	No, of course, but he is dirty.
	It could wound him.
	He's like, he's definitely.
	He's not getting mortally.
	I don't know.
	I mean, I think Trump's dirtier, but I mean, I do think he looks like a bad thing.
	What about, you know, what about you?
	You don't think Hill Dog's getting back in?
	I'm not saying she isn't.
	I'm just trying to think of why she would wait.
	Interesting.
	I just think that there is no clear.
	Well, my point is, do you think she's seeing a field going, yeah, no one's really got it?
	I think she is.
	Yeah.
	I think there's a potential that she's looking at the field going, nobody's got it.
	Nobody has a plurality of support.
	The left and the right, the flanks are between Warren and Bernie and Biden and Buttichej are the divides are pretty deep between the Medicare for all socialists and blue dog Democrat corporatists, whatever you want to call them.
	And I think Hillary might want to just come out and be like, listen, I'm the first one to bring up Medicare for All.
	I'm the first one to try to do it years ago in the 90s.
	I made a mess, but I was, you know, and I'm also a warmonger and I love it.
	I put my email on a private server.
	Why did I do that?
	I got a lot of fingers and pies.
	Maybe she should have just said that.
	Dude, if she was like Trump, she might have won.
	Like, if she's just like, listen, who gives a fuck?
	The people die.
	Don't worry a pretty little head about it.
	People close to me die.
	Everyone is someone close to them that dies.
	Hey, Jake Tapper, don't worry your pretty little head about where my emails go.
	I'm not saying I killed Vernon Jordan, but he was a rat.
	Wait, what the Vernon Jordan's?
	No.
	Vernon Jordan's a black guy still alive.
	Who am I thinking of?
	Oh, that guy shot him twice in the head, Vince Foster.
	Vince Foster, yeah.
	She's like, nobody cries for Vince Foster.
	That's all.
	You think he was a hero?
	You think Vince Foster was a hero?
	I don't know, man.
	It'd be interesting to see her get back in.
	Yeah, I mean, she almost won.
	She won the popular vote.
	Oh, yeah, by millions.
	Yeah.
	He'll win again, though, if she runs, probably.
	I don't know.
	I mean, Fox News has never been wrong.
	She has to, if she runs again, she has to be to the right and to the left of him.
	Yeah, she has to say this.
	We're going to kill people who come across the border.
	We'll kill them.
	We're going to kill them.
	We're going to put them in camps.
	They are going to be concentration camps.
	Yeah.
	And Medicare for all and guaranteed two-year unemployment.
	I'm building a wall in China.
	Yes.
	She goes, we're going to turn those, you know, those camps on the border?
	We're going to turn them into concentration camps.
	It's not just going to be a slogan anymore.
	It's going to be an actual camp.
	Not fucking around here.
	Yeah.
	It's a nasty, brutal sport.
	This political.
	Do you think it'd be better with Hillary?
	Do I think the country would be doing better with Hillary?
	I mean, listen, we always talk about this.
	The majority of things wouldn't be that different, right?
	She'd be, you know, maybe lobbing a few more missiles into Syria.
	People, yeah, you know, Syria would, you know, we'd...
	The economy would be similar, right?
	She wouldn't be doing.
	He's duped the economy.
	He's done well with that.
	Yeah, I think the stock market rates.
	I mean, like, was Hillary really doing anything to hurt stocks, though?
	No.
	Like, why would they?
	Congress, I mean, Wall Street, I mean, sorry, is pretty dumb a lot of the time.
	Yeah.
	I mean, they have some guys who are smarter than me.
	Don't get me wrong.
	But some?
	Some.
	But the point is, like, oh, Trump's in.
	Now his stock market is booming.
	Like, what do you think Hillary was going to do?
	No, yeah, yeah.
	Like, you idiots.
	He's like giving speeches to these people.
	Yeah.
New Orleans Egg Soussard 00:10:45
	But I'll tell you this.
	It would be, I feel like, I said this Rogan the other day.
	I was like, I feel like we're on the edge of it.
	Feels like that scene in the movie where a car is hanging off the edge of a cliff and just it's not falling.
	Nothing's happening.
	We've been living at that moment for the last since Trump got elected.
	And a lot of it's the media, but a lot of it's just him as well.
	And it's such an unhealthy place to be in that second with no resolution to anything.
	It just feels like we're all suspended in midair waiting for something.
	Here's why Bannon is either a moron or a liar.
	Because he kept saying how if we don't change something, revolution is going to happen.
	Who's going to fight it?
	Yeah.
	Us fat fucking whales.
	We're not doing anything.
	He knows full well that revolution is not happening, but Bannon also knows the idea of it is what keeps, you know.
	My point is, I think he's like low-level white nationalist terrorism.
	Oh, sure.
	But my point is, to the larger point, oh, we feel like we're on the brink of something.
	I mean, we're going to all realize that like, we're not on the brink of anything.
	We're the brink of realizing that there's nothing we can do to change it.
	And like this is the status quo.
	And like, that's what Putin does.
	Putin has a different strategy.
	Puts more like, yeah, you know, I'm fucking you.
	I know you know I'm fucking you.
	That's what we're doing.
	And like, it's just kind of accepted.
	It's hypernormal.
	Well, that's also the way that they've been for a very long time.
	Sure.
	This country operates in its own with pathos.
	You know, the entertainment industry and the media and like you know, myth-making and storytelling.
	And we're very good at that.
	And I think that the younger generation, maybe they are more active.
	Maybe they will push things in the right direction.
	I don't know.
	We needed the new fast food thing.
	Should I date David Hogg?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I think I should start dating him.
	Yeah.
	He's gay, right?
	No.
	We can make him gay, right?
	I don't think he has a sexuality.
	He has a very odd mouth.
	It's like a mealy mouth or a strange man.
	You could seduce him.
	I don't know.
	How would you like?
	I'm David Hogg.
	Hello.
	Who is this?
	Oh, hi, David.
	This is Tim Dylan.
	How are you?
	Oh, I've seen you on Life of Gotham.
	You're hilarious.
	David, David, I wasn't on that.
	I was on a show called Gotham Access Comedy Live on Axis TV.
	Well, it was great.
	You're ranting about Popeye.
	So how are you?
	It was a good bit.
	Thank you, David.
	How are you doing?
	Have you been okay?
	I know that a lot of people are angry.
	You know, I was in the school shooting.
	Yes.
	And David, I'm sorry.
	Thank you.
	I'm sorry about that.
	And I also think that it should be harder for people to get guns.
	You want to make love?
	David, I need you to relax.
	I'm supposed to be seducing you.
	You're getting out of control.
	David, I feel like this isn't you.
	I feel like this is somebody.
	I want to make love.
	I mean, what's a guy like that do for fun?
	What's a guy like David Hogg do for fun?
	I mean, I feel like he.
	Wouldn't it be funny if he goes shooting?
	Yeah.
	He's building.
	I feel like he's got a gun.
	You think so?
	I absolutely believe.
	What if he can only come if I put a gun to his head?
	We're the only one way to find out.
	You know, David.
	Yeah.
	He's like, you know, as much of an activist as I am, I can actually only come if Tim puts a gun to my head.
	He's an interesting person.
	Is this terrorism over recording though?
	Is this terror?
	I don't know.
	Sometimes I send this to Ben and he goes, It was so funny.
	That has to be the regular episode, not the Patreon episode.
	So we never really, we never really know where it goes.
	But usually for Patreon, people get that we're kidding around and that everything's a joke and that everybody is a joke and that all we all we care about, you know, all the children of the world and, you know, the climate and the people and all the goodness.
	Should pay.
	Yeah, that's the maybe that'll be the thing that really invalidates like the climate might just start kicking our asses in a way that like politics seems like the good old days.
	Well, look, that's going to be what, 20 years from now when it really gets bad.
	You're saying that Manhattan's underwater in 20.
	I don't think that's true.
	I don't know.
	I'm saying people are saying.
	What are you basing your thing on?
	The way people talk.
	They just run.
	So listen, me and Ben had this.
	Me and Ben, we may film this sketch.
	Ready?
	Do you know the song Bobby Short?
	I happen to like New York.
	No, no.
	Play it.
	Get it.
	Because we want to film this sketch with you.
	We want to rent out the Carlisle.
	This is going to cost too much money.
	And have you.
	Bobby Short.
	Yeah.
	I happen to love New York.
	You're in a suit.
	It's a very small jazz band in Cafe Carlisle.
	And you sing this song.
	I happen to like you.
	And the families and the children are smiling and swaying.
	Yes.
	And everybody's mad.
	It is magical in the Carlisle.
	And you're just singing it.
	And you just look great.
	You're in a big suit.
	New York.
	I want a battery park.
	Take the Liberty Cruise.
	I like to go to Battle Cruise.
	That thing that flashed.
	We were sitting in Ben's station in the waiting room.
	Surrounded by like homeless people.
	Heroin addicts, people vomiting.
	And then there was just this on the TV.
	There's this just flash where it goes, take the Liberty Cruise.
	There's a shitty boat that took you around this Dacha Liberty.
	And it was just, it encapsulated this whole show and everything that we had thought like in just that one image with like this girl just vomiting all over, people crawling on the floor.
	Scratching themselves, bugs.
	Heroin addicts scratching themselves, crackheads.
	And then it just said, hey, take the Liberty Cruise.
	You're free.
	Don't you know that?
	You're free, dummy.
	It's going to be fun.
	It's going to be fun.
	How long have we done here?
	We're at an hour at 15.
	I like to go to Battery Park.
	I think that would be such a great.
	Yeah.
	We get a little rent to talk.
	So I, you know, get one of those microphones.
	Welcome to New York.
	I love New York.
	I happen to like New York.
	I happen to like New York.
	Now you're, you, it has a, it has a thing.
	I happen to like New York.
	I happen to like New York.
	I like to go to Battery Park.
	I like to go to Battery Park.
	And then the whole, the whole place is swaying and all the kids are happy.
	There's just a magic to it.
	There's a magic.
	So maybe you're in a big white suit.
	Kids around Christmas.
	Okay, that's not the lyrics.
	Kids around Christmas.
	Not fucking them, just having them around because they're fun.
	They make you think about the future.
	If you did, I happened to like New York and be, I happen to like New York.
	I like to eat brain at this place in Queens.
	I edit out a media conglomerate to trailing.
	I do enjoy the Uber pool.
	I had my phone stolen by a hype beast.
	I still love New York.
	I like to eat hot dogs in the rain.
	Yeah, you got to come out to Los Angeles a little bit.
	You got to get the vibe of it.
	Because, you know, you got to wear like Supreme and you got to start skating.
	I mean, I have a skate park right next to me.
	Why don't you start skating and then start wearing Supreme and become a hype beast?
	I mean, I don't think most skaters are hype beasts, are they?
	I have a skate park.
	I live near a skate park.
	Well, I'm just saying.
	Should I go hang out there?
	No.
	I think what you should do, though, is you come to LA and you get the idea.
	It's nice and warm.
	It feels nice.
	It's on fire.
	Sure.
	People are going to blame me for the fire.
	People should.
	People might.
	They absolutely could blame you.
	No, I mean, I'd love to go out there.
	I mean, I could probably get a job out there.
	Well, I don't know about that.
	You should get a job.
	Can you get a job?
	I could probably get an editing job of some sort.
	Interesting.
	Interesting.
	What does Lucy feel about that?
	Well, she might.
	I mean, look, if she gets a writing job, she wants them.
	She keeps trying to get writing jobs.
	If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.
	What does that mean?
	Lucy's work for...
	I'm not saying that Lucy's not going to get a writing job.
	I'm saying there's too many ifs.
	What do you say?
	We should have a writing job here.
	No.
	So then, so then, so then what's the, you know, if that happened, we'd immediately move.
	Okay.
	But I'm saying we talk about going to L.A.
	Okay.
	I might get a writing job.
	Who knows?
	Who knows?
	Could all get writing jobs.
	I'm just saying it might be interesting to take a little vacation.
	I would love to, yeah.
	To see what it's about.
	We might do that soon.
	You could stay with me, you know, on the street in front of my house.
	Sure.
	You know, you and Lucy could stay right on the street.
	And you could see the whole operation out there.
	Like Skid Row?
	Well, yes.
	I mean, Skid Row is not even anything.
	I mean, it's like, it's pretty, it's post-apocalyptic.
	Right.
	But all of downtown LA is.
	Really?
	Which no one goes to downtown.
	Downtown's like the city of LA.
	Like the city with the skyscrapers, Terminator.
	No one's known.
	Who's in those buildings?
	Record companies?
	Some rich people that have big lofts, some artists.
	I mean, like, what companies are down there?
	Like, what kind of company?
	Let me ask you this question.
	What kind of company?
	Important export huge.
	Okay.
	Biggest, biggest, biggest input-export in LA.
	Everything comes from China through LA.
	Massive companies like that.
	Okay, so like commercial shipping.
	Yeah, but there's some rich people down there.
	But I think the majority of rich people live in the hills.
	They live the LA life as a suburban life.
	Right.
	So nobody wants that city.
	When you go downtown LA, you're like, what is this?
	Right.
	You know, where I live in West Hollywood, that's the LA that people know about or Beverly Hills or go down to the beach, like Santa Monica, Venice.
	Can you Airbnb Beverly Hills?
	Do you get in there, you think?
	No, I mean, parts of it maybe, but not what you're thinking about.
	Right.
	I mean, yeah, I mean, there's probably, there's a houses there that you could rent for $100,000 a week or something.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	I mean, there's some homes you could probably work.
	What if I let him fuck me?
	It would probably be, you'd have to pay more for that.
	You'd have to pay.
	It would be $150,000.
	But no, I would be, it would be interesting to see what your...
Renting Beverly Hills for $100k 00:02:14
	I think you should come in January when it gets frozen.
	Sure.
	I mean, I'll start saving up for you.
	I mean, it's not that expensive.
	No, no.
	I'll put the money aside.
	What?
	I'm saying I'll put some money aside.
	You'll come.
	Yeah.
	For a ticket.
	You know what I'm saying?
	For a sucker.
	Oh, because you've never flew Coach.
	I've never flown Coach.
	I don't know what it's like.
	You complain a lot about Coach.
	Yeah.
	I've only flown first class.
	And Ray, it's true.
	He's only first class.
	Right.
	To and from New Orleans.
	Yeah, one, yeah.
	Two talking about crab cakes on the way there.
	And I think some kind of pilaf on the way back.
	Interesting.
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	And that is the only flight you've been on.
	Yeah.
	And it was first class.
	That is the way to do it.
	I mean, it wasn't even that nice.
	It's kind of the way to do it.
	Well, yeah, it's not that long a flight.
	You'd think it'd be like leather recliners or something, but it's just kind of like whatever.
	Yeah, it's a nice.
	It's like a coach bus.
	It was what airline?
	Delta.
	Yeah, I mean, listen.
	Probably a little nicer than the coach bus, but like.
	It's a short flight.
	What's New Orleans?
	Three and a half?
	Two and a half, maybe?
	Two and a half, three.
	I want to go back to New Orleans.
	That was a great city.
	When does it, it's cold, though, now, right?
	No.
	No, I went there in December and it was like 70s.
	Yeah, that's right.
	You're right about that.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I got to get down there.
	I think it ever gets cold, really.
	I mean, that's a good point.
	It probably doesn't get that cold.
	Yeah.
	God, I miss that place.
	Brennan's.
	Maybe I should go there.
	Maybe I'll go.
	Maybe Thursday, Friday.
	I'll just ditch my spots and go there.
	Oh, yeah, get some Egg Soussard.
	Oh, it's the best.
	Yeah.
	Eggs Soussard is the best.
	If you're in New Orleans, go to Brennan's, get the Egg Soussard.
	Wait, like a Big Spencer with a wine reduction?
	It's a Convincing Sauce, which is like a poor wine, red wine reduction, whatever.
	Yeah, so good.
	It's just so good.
	New Orleans, and those hotels, you can get really nice hotels, super cheap, really good.
	Really good, really interesting.
	Yeah, man.
	Yas!
	Maybe you have to be a guy from New Orleans.
	Yeah, like Mark Norman said to me once, he's like, my truest form is like a guy sweating in a white suit in Commander's Palace in New Orleans, like hitting on the waiter, like making him very uncomfortable.
	He's like, bro, go and get me some butter.
	You know what Buddha is, don't you?

Chapters

00:00:31 Timmy The Trash Can Intro
00:03:47 Walking Past Angry Fans
00:19:51 Twitter Hypocrisy And Mental Health
00:34:22 Grandma Died Laughing
00:40:27 Maya Named After Angelou
00:48:43 TikTok Cringe Compilations
00:57:53 Technology Is A Pandora Box
01:11:32 Son Had A Voice Box
01:14:06 Stock Market Rates Discussion
01:28:37 New Orleans Egg Soussard
01:39:23 Renting Beverly Hills for $100k