Well guys, really big news in the oppressed lives of famous Hollywood celebrities.
Apparently Lizzo is oppressed.
I didn't realize that being really famous, being a darling of the media, being worth like 12 million dollars, definitely not missing any meals, didn't realize that made you oppressed in America Day.
Like imagine like Imagine how oppressed, like, someone who lost their jobs because they wouldn't get vaccinated.
Imagine how oppressed that person is.
Imagine being, like, targeted by the IRS or the FBI. Because if Lizzo's oppressed, folks, I'm going to say this, and someone's going to clip without the detail and, you know, try to own me with this.
But, like, if Lizzo's oppressed, then so am I, right, in this world.
I mean, I've got the FBI breaking down our doors with the hostage rescue team at my family house.
Like... If Lizzo's oppressed, so is Donald Trump Jr., folks.
Give me a break.
This is the insanity of the left, right?
Again, I didn't realize being a multi-millionaire, going around on private jets, like, taking photo shoots in, like, a bikini while being, like, north of 300 pounds, and, like, being like, this is healthy.
This is the new...
Beauty, you know, being a media darling like that, you know, going around in mansions and winning awards, that makes you oppressed if you're a leftist today in America.
Think of how insane that is.
Is there anyone less oppressed in America perhaps than Lizzo?
Maybe? Overfed?
Maybe if you can wear a garbage bag or whatever that outfit was like to the end and be like, oh, this is wonderful.
This is fashion. It's like Mugatsu.
I feel like I'm living in bizarro world.
That can make her oppressed.
Celebrities will tell you this stuff with a straight face.
Like, and talk about how terrible America is.
I just don't get it, man.
That she can get on a stage and say that she's oppressed.
Your vote means everything to me.
It means everything. We can change history when you're voting for the laws that are oppressing us.
Like, hey, can I think of someone less oppressed than Lizzo?
You probably are wearing a dress at this event that costs more than most people's rent.
You're adored as like a demigod by strangers and like you're oppressed in America.
You're so oppressed that you can wear like a bikini with your rear end hanging out while getting on a private plane and do a photo shoot and no one's like that's a little bit weird or like ridiculous or terrible like you're so oppressed that you feel comfortable doing that look at some of the pictures of just how oppressed Lizzo is that she can do this take these shots wear this clothing Live this lavishly, and say it with a straight face.
Tell us how oppressed you are again, please.
I gotta see this, because like I said, if Lizzo's oppressed, and so is Donald Trump Jr., Because I imagine she's got a lot more adoring people in the media than I do.
And I can't exactly figure out why.
Especially when you talk that kind of smack about your country.
And when you're that tone deaf that you don't know what's even going on in this country.
People are getting crushed with $5 gas.
Lizzo's wearing a bikini with a body mass index of like a billion.
And, like, that's fine.
They've literally changed, like, the definition of healthy.
I think it was for Lizzo. I don't want to be wrong.
I don't want to get fact-checked, but, like, there was someone else that was rather really portly and put on, like, the cover of, like, one of these, like, in-shape magazines in the not-so-distant past, and there's, like, the new healthy.
And it's like, really?
Like, you're so oppressed, they literally almost changed the definition of, like, body mass index that they used for health for so long.
That's how oppressed you are.
That's how insane we are.
That's how not oppressed Lizzo is.
That she can say that in a country and like people aren't laughing about it.
Like people are like, you're insane.
That's how oppressed she is.
Like, man, I can only hope that everyone all over the world is one day as oppressed as Lizzo.
Okay? We can all hope that if we live in that, we would live in the greatest universe ever.
If Lizzo is oppressed, folks, Man, imagine what real people who are losing their jobs, who are getting crushed by inflation, who are getting crushed by incompetence.