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May 12, 2023 - Doug Collins Podcast
45:00
Would you eat the Banana on the Wall?
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You want to listen to a podcast?
By who?
Georgia GOP Congressman Doug Collins.
How is it?
The greatest thing I have ever heard in my whole life.
I could not believe my ears.
In this house, wherever the rules are disregarded, chaos and mob rule.
It has been said today, where is bravery?
I'll tell you where bravery is found and courage is found.
It's found in this minority who has lived through the last year of nothing but rules being broken, people being put down, questions not being answered, and this majority say, be damned with anything else.
We're going to impeach and do whatever we want to do.
Why?
Because we won an election.
I guarantee you, one day you'll be back in the minority and it ain't gonna be that fun.
Hey everybody, ready to go for Friday?
I am, Friday's Finest.
It's going to come up here in just a minute.
James is back.
And we're going to talk about a lot of, we got some weird stuff today.
So today is going to be a great Friday's Finest for some of the random stuff that we search around the world.
The old ABC motto.
Search the wild world of sports.
Well, we search the wild world of stories and bring them to you on Friday.
Just for your entertainment.
Friday's Finest today.
But look, I can't start today without going over last night.
He had not been on the network since 2016. He did this town hall in which the town hall couldn't have been a more friendlier audience to him.
And Caitlin Collins, the CNN host, was just out of her league.
Let's just face it.
And I'm going to get into this a little bit later in Friday's Finest.
In fact, we're going to start off Friday's Finest with this.
But let me just say, it was owned completely.
They don't understand Donald Trump.
Donald Trump was in his element last night.
You like him, you don't like him, vote for him, don't vote for him.
There was no question.
Last night, Donald Trump owned the room and owned the network for that time.
So again, if anybody out there have any doubts about all the things going on with him, and yeah, we can talk about the lawsuits and losing lawsuits, and we can talk about the pending and possible legal issues in other places.
But right now, no one is really making a challenge at Donald Trump in the Republican primaries.
There's not.
Now, that Could it change?
Yeah, I mean, sure, everything's possible.
But right now, he showed last night why people voted for him.
And, you know, the others in the race are going to have a hard time trying to catch up to that.
Also, I am not one for term limits, okay, in a sense of a mandatory term limit.
I've said this before on this podcast.
But at a certain point in time, an age limit, and I even testify that I don't like an age limit, but what you're seeing in the United States Senate right now, and you see it about every few years, and even in the United States House, you see members who stay too long.
Senator Dianne Feinstein, for a liberal icon that she's been, she's way past her prime.
And it was cruelty almost to watch her go back to the Senate yesterday.
And they only get her back because they've got to have her vote to get things out of committee.
I mean, it's just at a certain point in time, it's just cruelty, in my mind.
I mean, this lady is suffering from shingles.
She did not look good.
It was just bad optics.
And all four...
I mean, it's just, it's sad to watch.
And so folks, look, I'm still not a fan of term limits, not a fan of age limits, but voters, guys, you gotta wake up.
If you've got somebody, you know, and this could play into the presidential race as well, but right now, in fairness, they're not like, you know, the oldest in the race of Trump, Biden, others.
Although Biden is showing his age a great deal, Donald Trump didn't seem to show anything last night in the debate.
But when you get to the point where you have trouble showing up for work and doing your basic functions of work, then that is a problem.
And I think it's going to be something to talk about whether any candidate wants to talk about it or not.
The competency factor and the physical just being able to do your job factor is going to be there.
So, look, a lot of things going on as we go.
Title 42, I did the podcast the other day.
If you missed it, go back to the podcast from Wednesday about, you know, the fact that the immigration and our borders are just being completely overrun right now.
It's going to get far worse.
And I warned you about it on Wednesday, told you what to look for, go back and see it.
But it is happening as we speak.
So it's just a sad, sad day for me.
And it should be for all Americans when we see what's happening at our border.
Today is Friday.
And on Friday, we don't dwell on hard topics like that.
We don't dwell on the topics that we deal with on the rest of the show.
We deal in interesting topics and just cultural things that are going on.
So today is James and I on Friday's Finest.
We'll be back in just a second.
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It's Friday's Finest.
Can you believe it?
It just seems like yesterday we were taping last week's Friday's Finest.
Yeah, we were outside while I was outside, and there were lizards everywhere, and it was terrifying.
Yeah.
But now we're back, and it's all good.
I mean, I'm sure there were people out there having nightmares about the lizard takeover of your backyard.
Yeah, I imagine that people were concerned for me more than anything.
But don't worry, because my dog is on the case.
He's basically any animal.
He's the backyard police.
And if you come into our yard, this very lazy hound dog will hop off his...
Keister, and he'll start running in circles trying to chase you out of the yard.
Well, I'm glad somebody's got, you know, the energy to do that out there.
Somebody's looking out for it.
Especially when you're being attacked by the lizards.
I mean, that's a certain area that you've got to look at.
I'm from New Jersey, you know?
We don't do this.
Hey, since we have now, the king has been coronated.
We talked about it a little bit last Friday, but now we've got the king coronated again.
Has it been interesting to you, and I'm going to throw this out there, because look, I'm fascinated by the monarchy in England, and if you go back and look at how they're all intertwined, especially in the 1700s, 1800s, how Germany and England and Sweden, all these were intertwined family-wise.
It's really a strange thing.
But, you know, I watched this this week, James, and you're the millennial looking at this, the elder millennial in this process.
And what is it with people...
I mean, some of the comments I saw, especially with...
And we won't even get into the Harry in that yet.
We'll do that maybe later.
But, you know, there were people on my Twitter stream that were saying, why should Americans celebrate a king?
I... We weren't.
I don't know if we're celebrating it.
Are we celebrating it?
I mean, I was, and I thought it was pretty interesting, but you had people on Twitter going off on, America shouldn't glorify or do the king.
We had our folks in 1776 tell them to stiff it, and we don't do the king.
Those are people who don't actually know.
Those are people that are just bored.
Doug, first of all, don't read comments on the internet.
That's rule number one.
All right.
As a millennial, I can't stand the whole thing.
I think it's absurd.
I know you like it.
I can't even get...
I thought just the perfect picture to describe the whole event was the king in a golden chariot.
Going down the street with potholes covered in sand.
Do you understand the irony in that?
Yeah.
They can't afford to fix their potholes, but this man is in arguably a $150,000 plus chariot.
$150,000?
I bet that sucker's worth a million or more.
I also did laugh at the...
Because, okay, again, I think it's silly because the king and queen thing is a little ridiculous to me, but I get it.
There's a history and whatever.
But there's a photo of the king and queen, and someone said it looks like the cover photo for a Halloween costume.
Yeah.
That you'd see it like...
And it really does.
It does look a little crazy.
So if you're asking the millennials' perspective, most of us just do not care about it.
Like, it just doesn't interest us at all and it seems silly.
But people love to...
Doug, people love to argue about that stuff.
People love to get online and be like, why are we celebrating 1776?
And I was like, alright.
I'm sure your opinion matters.
It just amazes me.
It really goes to a lot of things in life.
You know...
More people could tell you the fight between Meghan and Harry and William and Kate and Charles and Camilla and everything else.
They could tell you, you know, if Kanye West is, you know, sneezing wrong, if Kim and the rest of the Kardashians are jumping off a boat in the Mediterranean, they can tell you if Brad and...
You know, they can tell you all this, but they can't tell you the names of their own senators in their own state.
They can't tell you the name of the vice president, which in this case is not surprising.
But, you know, I mean, we wonder why our country is as screwed up as it is when young people do not even know the basics of their federal government.
They don't know the basics of why things go on, but yet they find time to gripe about it.
Yeah, they find time to gripe about other countries' things.
And America!
It's the craziest, I mean, it's just the dumbest thing.
You know what you could do is, here's the craziest thought, because this is how I feel about everything.
I think the whole idea that people, like, and this is a topic of conversation that you could get too far, but the idea that people comment on things that have quite literally nothing to do with them is so strange.
Like, let me ask you something, Doug.
There's...
The King's Coronation has...
I mean, when I say zero to do with us, zero is the zero to do with us.
To get on and be like, we shouldn't be celebrating it?
Who cares?
You don't celebrate.
It really doesn't even have that much to do with the British.
I mean, they are figureheads.
I have a fear of roller coasters.
Okay, don't go on one.
You know what I'm saying?
It makes no sense.
We write ink and ink and ink about Harry showing up.
Now, I have to say this.
I mean, you know...
There was a lot of stories come out that Charles' net worth, I mean, his property net worth, which I think is really interesting because you don't really ever see him labeled as the richest people in the world, but he's like $40 or $50 billion in property and wealth.
Yeah, I mean, they get whatever they want.
They're a royal bloodline.
I hate the sound of that.
Again, it's accumulated wealth.
I mean, they've had it over time.
Then they sell everything.
They can do whatever.
But yeah, it's like they've been set aside now.
It used to, I mean, when the king, what was it?
They were saying, was it now a thousand years in the coronation line or whatever, how they coronated in Westminster Abbey.
I mean, back then, kings had real authority.
Kings could live there and look at you and say, you're dead.
Yeah, they have no authority now.
He's just an old man with a weird hat on.
And you're waiting for William and Kate to revisit Camelot at some point here.
You know, look, I mean, some of it's interesting to me.
I mean, have I watched The Crown on the Netflix?
Yeah, I did.
And was it interesting?
Yeah, it was interesting.
I mean, from a perspective...
Of course it's interesting.
They're historical figures, okay?
I mean, that is...
Yes, they are.
They are historical figures.
Charles, but the one that amazes me, and if we talk about this for a few minutes, is Camilla.
Now Queen, she got the crown.
But if you go back, and especially through all the stuff that's been written, through the crown on Netflix, through all the movies, the Diana stuff, everything.
I mean, has there ever been somebody more rightly or wrongly?
I'm not going to say because I have no first-hand knowledge of this.
But the ultimate, I mean, if you looked up under, you know, in many ways, what people consider, I guess, Gold digging, however you want to call it.
Camilla's picture has to be an exhibit.
Yeah, for sure.
She's...
Talk about...
And I don't know the whole story of everything because I don't...
I know about Princess Diana and all that, but...
I don't know what you have to do to become this, but man.
The story is this, and it's pretty well out there.
I mean, this is the story.
Charles, of course, is the heir apparent.
He's going to be king.
He's younger growing up.
He's a little awkward.
You go through this.
He falls in love with Camilla.
But Camilla is not the bloodline, I guess, that the queen wanted.
She then gets married and Her and Charles still, I mean, and what I'm saying here is not Doug's opinion.
This has been written ad nauseam, okay?
It was written at the time it was happening.
Charles and her were still doing the hot thing any chance they could.
While she was married, okay?
She had kids with Mr. Bowles, who she married.
By the way, her husband actually had a thing with Princess Anne, Charles' sister.
I mean, again, Young and Restless got nothing on this.
All right?
They keep on going.
The Prince Philip, Lord Mountbatten, and the others basically say, Charles, you can't do this.
You can't be with Camilla.
Da-da-da-da-da.
Oh, Camilla loves me.
I love Camilla.
Oh, you know.
So he goes and he finds Diana.
This is how they saw it.
Diana's very young, naive.
They have the honeymoon, they have the wedding, but it's never really good because Charles is never happy.
Why?
Because he's in love with Camilla.
And Camilla...
Undoubtedly, he's still in love with Charles.
So anyway, this rocks and rolls on.
We know the whole story.
I mean, it's very brutal with Diana's story and whether you like Diana, don't like Diana, whatever, I don't care.
And then, of course, the tragedy, they have the divorce.
Again, all over, guess who?
Let's say it together.
Camilla.
Okay?
And so they keep this up, keep it going, and finally, Charles and Camilla get married, I think it's about 15, 16 years ago.
You have William and Harry, and now she has waited, I guess, around long enough to become queen.
By the way, her husband, former husband, Bowles, and her still talk all the time, according to reports that are from England and other places.
I don't get this.
They're late 70s, both of them.
And, you know...
To me, okay, here is the switch to the question.
Now that I gave you the history of what, you know, is termed the longest waiting around gold digging, whatever you want to call it, in history.
Would it be better if you had the monarchy and you wanted it to still thrive and survive and whatever you want it to do?
Wouldn't it be logical for Charles to serve a few years and then say, and he'll never do this, by the way, because he waited 70-something years to become king, Just say, look, I'm going to retire and William, you and Kate, you got three young kids.
The world will be fascinated by you.
England will be lifted up.
We're going to make you quick.
I'm going to go ahead and step down and William, you become king.
Are you actually asking me that question?
Yeah, I'm actually asking you.
Never do that.
These people, all they care about is their status.
That's all it's about, ever and it always will be.
And now that he's finally got a chance to wear a silly purple hat and go down the street with his wife and they get to do whatever they want now.
Not that they couldn't do whatever they wanted before, but...
I mean, listen, I think the whole thing is just...
Did you see his shoes or his slippers or whatever?
They're this crushed velvet kind of stuff.
Yeah, I want those too.
I want to walk around the house in those in a robe.
I mean, it's like he just got up.
But anyway.
All right.
For folks, though, if you really want to comment, and we'd love to get your interaction, go to AtRepDougCollins.
You can see my stuff on Twitter.
You can answer us there.
You can lay comments on our Facebook, Instagram.
Or you can go to DougCollins.com, DougCollinsPodcast.com, and hit the email button and email us your thoughts about the coronation.
But again, it just seems a little bit ridiculous in a world that is dealing with real issues and real problems that this is the comic relief However you want to put it, that the world looks to move us past that as we go.
But James, again, it just still fascinates me.
More people, though, can tell you more about what goes on with that coronation than they can tell you what's going on in the Southern border.
You know what else people can tell you about?
About rich people?
We can get into another...
We can get to another conversation about rich people spending their money on whatever they want.
You brought up the Grand Prix before we started this.
Oh, yeah.
And you talked about how the cost of food and everything.
But you do understand it is just an event for rich people to wear...
Something flashy, look cool, and watch cars go a million miles an hour in something they could never do in their lifetime.
I do have a question for you, though.
By the way, folks, if you're listening to this today...
James just brought up the fact that at the Miami Grand Prix, Formula 1, there was menu items like $275 for nachos, $200 and something dollars for ice cream, $400 for lobster rolls.
I mean, it's just ridiculous.
But I do have, this brings up a legit question.
And my kids and I have been talking about, you know, Copeland and Bo and I have been talking about this a little bit too.
And we've mentioned it here on Friday's Finest before.
Why is it that NASCAR seems to be, and this is perception, and perception is reality.
And if you don't believe it, ask Bud Light.
The perception is reality.
And perception is that NASCAR is going backwards and Formula One is going forward.
And you said, and James, you clarified it as it's just a rich person's event.
Then why?
It is.
It's high stakes.
Alright, let me ask you something.
I'm just throwing this out here.
Would you rather go to a...
Would you rather go to an event in North Carolina?
Remember, you're living in Texas now, James.
Be careful.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
Would you rather go to an event in North Carolina, or would you rather go to an event in, like, Morocco or Monaco?
I mean, in Monaco or Miami or Las Vegas.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Like, the event is...
NASCAR has the perception of...
Being like a wild man sport.
No, it really does.
It came from bootlegging.
Hey, look, NASCAR started...
Yeah, there you go.
There's your answer.
In my part of the world, it started in North Georgia, Western North Carolina.
It's bootleggers.
That's how NASCAR got started.
Well, there's your answer then.
That is not a rich person's sport.
No, but rich people...
Think about it.
Golf and...
Rich people play for them pints, I'm telling you.
They certainly did.
Um...
But in all seriousness, the idea of the Grand Prix has always been held to a high standard.
And also, let's take a moment.
As long as one rich person follows the sport, then every other rich person has to follow the sport.
One of the rules...
Do you know what I'm saying?
As soon as it begins...
As soon as it becomes popular...
Like I said, it's like going to the Kentucky Derby.
It's like going to...
Well, people don't really...
Not everybody goes to the Masters because Masters has reasonably priced stuff.
But the point is that the event, like the Grand Prix, is something that...
It's like a pageant almost.
But it just seems to be...
Is it become the it thing?
I mean, because like I said, I've heard more and more younger people.
It is.
It is an it.
It is the it thing.
Okay.
All right.
Because like I said, I've heard more and more people.
Oh, Formula One.
I'm going to watch it.
Get up on it.
And now...
For 10 years, Formula One's exploded.
And I only know that because my brother's pretty into it, but also my friends are pretending to be into it so they can seem cool.
They're idiots, but I love them.
But it's like, relax.
It's a really cool sport, and you don't have to pretend to be into something because rich people are, or famous people are.
That's silly.
I believe you that you like stuff.
You don't have to pretend.
But $400 for nachos or $250 for nachos, that should be condemned.
Somebody should be fired.
$250 nachos?
You can't even spend $250 at normal places that sell nachos.
No, you could go to the grocery store and buy the entire lot of nachos and couldn't get that much.
Hey, speaking of which though, you just brought up an interesting part about rich people and, you know, famous people doing stuff.
What is it about this trend?
And look, I think it's pretty cool, but I didn't realize it was growing as much as it has.
You know, you had the Ryan Reynolds stuff with Wexham.
Oh, Wrexham.
Yeah, Wrexham had the football.
And now they're getting relegated.
I mean, they're not getting relegated.
They're getting elevated, not relegated.
They're getting elevated to the next level, one below, I think, you know, what would be England's premiere, which would be pretty wild.
But he took the team, him and his business partner, and that's turned out pretty good.
I did not realize, though.
Yeah, Rob McIntyre.
Yeah, Rob McIntyre.
And it's a great story to sit there and watch because they've done a lot.
And I like Ryan Reynolds.
I just really do.
I like his acting.
The Deadpool stuff is hurt-yourself-laughing kind of stuff.
Have you ever watched some of his Aviator Gen ones?
His commercials?
Yes.
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen everything he's done.
First of all, you can't avoid Ryan Reynolds.
In fact, just for your listening entertainment, and if you're watching this, we'll try and put it on the video side as well.
James, we're gonna put in, you know, and we're gonna pop it.
We'll put it in right here This gin is really smooth Yeah.
We can get you another one.
If you like.
You're safe here.
To new beginnings.
To new beginnings.
Here you go.
It's gonna be a fun night.
Here you go.
Take this too.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You look great, by the way.
Yep.
Okay, and that was the video that Aviation Gin did with the Peloton girl that got the Christmas gift.
It is one of the funniest ads I have ever seen in my life.
And if you just heard it, you just heard it.
I mean, God, that's killer right there as we go.
But let me bring this up.
I just saw I was flipping around the TV. I was traveling this week.
And so if I'm having trouble going to sleep, I just flip around and I caught one of the soccer channels.
And JT... Oh, Fiddle.
He just retired.
Watts.
T.J. Watts.
T.J. Watts.
He's now bought into another soccer league scheme in England.
Is this becoming the, you know, it used to be, and I say this tongue-in-cheek, the Hollywood class goes and adopts children from Africa, but now is it that the Hollywood and media people and the professional sports people go buy into soccer teams in England?
Well, think about it this way, right?
You do something in America, that's America.
You do something soccer-wise, like you play, you invest in a sport in America, it's pretty much America.
But if you invest in a sport outside of, like, if you invest in a sport like soccer or football, that's global.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there's a, like, we, look, I don't know anyone.
I know a lot of soccer fans.
All right, Doug, let me ask something.
You've been to a bar and watched a football game, right?
Oh, yeah.
I have.
I've gone to, you've gone to tailgates for professional and college football games, I assume, yes?
I have.
Okay.
Those are pretty wild events.
If you go to a college football tailgate, you might end up missing the whole game.
Because you might not make it out of the place.
Let's be honest.
We've all been there.
But I've been to bars for college football games, college basketball games, NBA, NFL, all of it.
Baseball, a whole shebang.
I have been to two, two soccer bars.
In my life in New York City.
And those are the best times I've ever had in my life.
At a sporting event on TV. What were the teams?
It was...
I went to one for FC Barcelona.
That was insane.
And then I went for Man City.
And one of my best friends is a Man City fan.
That was one of the best experiences I have ever had.
And I get it.
Like, those fans...
Because, I guess...
And it's the same thing with hockey.
It just hasn't grown here.
And it's the same reason soccer doesn't grow here.
There's not enough points on the board.
But...
But, like, for me, I've always been a basketball fan, so I love the constant scoring and everything.
But you don't hang on to it as much as you hang on to one point with four minutes to go and they have the ball.
That is something your stomach curdles.
You can't even handle it.
And I'm telling you, for two, three hours of my life, I've never been through something like that.
Emotionally, with other people, and I didn't even care about the sport.
So I understand people buying these things.
Their fans are more real than any fans that we have here, maybe outside of Texas football.
Or Georgia high school football and college football.
Yeah.
I mean, I get you.
Well, I mean, it's just funny to watch and see the fan bases.
And one of my bucket list goals is to go to an EPL game, an English Premier League game at Tottenham, at Tottenham Stadium, and just be a part.
Because ever since I was young, it has always fascinated me.
You know, when you get these glimpse of it on these weird ESPN shows or something that they show on ABC's Wide World of Sports, and you would hear them all chanting.
And they did it the entire game, the entire match.
They just go at it.
It is just amazing.
I got a good buddy of mine.
We see each other.
He's a good friend.
Great guy.
Actually bought me some Tottenham stuff.
John, he's my dad now.
We see him every Sunday at Waffle House before we go out and eat in church and everything.
He's a big Arsenal fan.
He's biting his nails right now.
He'll listen to this podcast probably tomorrow.
Go at it, but Arsenal is right there in it.
So, again, you're in the last few games of the English Premier League, but I've always wanted to go.
But on a funny note, speaking back to the coronation, did you see the clip that went sort of viral from Scotland, from Glasgow, Scotland, that the fans were changing?
Oh, during the game when they were...
Yeah, it was hilarious.
Shove the coronation up there.
Yeah, I wonder, I don't know why they have so much animosity.
Ooh, Scotland, yeah.
Why don't people take a Google on the history and find out why they don't love it?
Oh yeah, Scotland and England, I mean, William Wallace, I mean, they want to be independent up there.
It would be very difficult for them, you know, in many ways.
But anyway, I just thought that was just hilarious.
Yeah, no, no.
I thought it was very funny.
Maybe we'll play it with a bleep.
We got all this.
All right.
We don't have a necessarily have...
Now, you mentioned that, you know, cows getting out.
And offline, we're talking about that.
I mean, I grew up on, you know, my grandparents' dairy farm and cows got out all the time.
But I've got one for you, okay?
For some reason, it always seemed to gin around back to New Jersey.
And the latest story out of New Jersey...
And maybe you can help me here.
Hundreds of pounds of pasta dumped near New Jersey Stream.
Authorities in central New Jersey towns say they're no longer noodling over the mystery of how hundreds of pounds of pasta were dumped near a stream.
Well, there's just so many Italians in New Jersey that we have to feed certain families every once in a while.
So we all bring pasta down to the river and we let them pick it up.
My friend sent me this and we were dying.
Just because it's just the idea that somebody is going to get arrested for dumping that much pasta.
But also, imagine if you're the detective on PastaGate.
If that's what you have to do, you woke up in the morning, you got dressed, you put your best uniform on to go into work, and your chief or your captain comes up to you and says, hey, listen, we're going to need you to work on this huge case.
We're going to need you to find out who's been dumping hundreds of pounds of pasta.
What I loved is they said, well, it wasn't really an environmental hazard.
They didn't really care.
Yeah, he shouldn't care.
It's just gonna feed some bear and he's gonna get used to eating pasta.
He's gonna be pretty pissed when he finds out he can't get more, but...
It's great.
It's so funny.
Just the idea that, like, it's either two things.
It's either somebody just was like, you know what, let's have some fun and dump pasta somewhere.
But also, like, the idea that they were thinking about arresting somebody for it is so crazy.
It is.
Well, moving right along, speaking of craziness, I mean, I am not a connoisseur of what we would call modern art, okay?
I think the Renaissance arts, the painters, you know, I can sort of see the Picasso, I can see the Rembrandt, I can see some of the ones.
I get a little bit of the modern-y kind of art, but I don't get art that, like, this next story...
An iteration of a, and I don't even pronounce his name, Cannellon the Comedian, was sold for $120,000.
Okay, it's an Italian artist, famously provocative, but his signature work was a banana taped to a wall.
Fell prey to a basic impulse, the hunger it provoked in a South Korean college unit.
The art in question, comedian, is frequently replaced, duct tape banana, is a frequently replaced duct tape banana that is meant to evoke everything from Charlie Chaplin's slapstick comedy to fruit status as a emblem of global trade.
Okay, if you looked at a piece of, looked at a banana taped, duct taped to a wall, would the first thing to jump to your mind was Charlie Chaplin's slapstick comedy?
Dub, no.
None of it would.
Nothing about that would draw me to anything.
Ever.
Yeah, I mean, but to this young Korean student, it didn't say that to him.
It didn't say anything about banana status in the global fruit trade.
It didn't say anything about the, I guess, the...
Tortured chamber of the people picking fruit taped to their trees because they couldn't go anywhere by the oppressive overlords of the globalist fruit companies.
He didn't think anything about that.
What he thought about was he had skipped breakfast and he was hungry.
So last week at around noon, he seized the yellow fruit and ate it, ignoring the alarm cry of the museum staffer.
It took Noah around one minute to yank the banana and eat it.
When he was done, he reattached the pill to the spot on the wall.
Could you imagine what everyone else must have been seeing there while that was going down?
You know, it's kind of like when you're like, like, like if you're, if your grandparents don't know something and like they're saying something they don't understand and they're saying it at the dinner table, you're like, you can't use that word anymore, grandma.
You know what I'm saying?
That kind of thing.
That's what it must've looked like to everybody else around like, Oh my God, is this guy just going to grab that?
Like every mental and nobody, probably nobody was going to do anything because they all knew it was going to be hilarious in the end anyway.
But you know what?
He should have just lied and been like, yeah, I was taking on Big Fruit or whatever you want to call it.
Yeah, well, that's not one of these idiots.
Look, if you're listening and you believe that this is a good thing where these idiots go and they try to defame art and they put themselves, they tape themselves, they put oil or they put water on these famous paintings, and then they sit there and say, I'm raising attention for global warming.
No, you need to be put in jail for long, long periods of time.
What are you doing, man?
If you think that I, like, however you feel about Global Warning, if you think that you doing something to a really famous painting is going to get me to donate or help or change, like, what do you think is going to happen?
Somebody saw you burn the Mona Lisa, and all of a sudden they're going to be like, you know what that reminds me of?
Glaciers.
Like, how are you going to yell and scream about it, cover yourself in paint, dust, or whatever that is?
Yeah.
I don't know.
You just look dumb.
It makes no sense.
You're not doing anything productive for anyone.
I agree.
Well, interestingly enough, he's this...
Guy studies aesthetics and religion at Seoul National University.
Also opined about the artist's intent in an interview later with KBS asking if the fruit, which is replaced every few days to keep the installation looking fresh, is meant to be eaten.
I don't know who this guy is, but I kind of want to hang out with him.
Yeah, he seems pretty good.
He also suggested his own actions might qualify as art rather than a mere transgressions as he transformed Catalan work and put it back on display.
I love that.
He said, if you could duct tape a banana to the wall, then me pulling it off and eating it is also art.
Yep.
I like that.
I like that attitude.
I also think he's just trying to get out of having to pay $120,000 is what it sounds like.
Yeah, from doing it all together.
You think I don't like bananas, Doug?
Yeah, you gotta like it.
Alright, well, for those of us, you know, I've always been told, James, that if you want to win the lottery, the first thing you have to do is actually buy a ticket.
Correct.
Well, for those of us who don't normally buy tickets, we've only bought a few tickets.
Lisa and I have only bought a few tickets in our life.
You've got to sort of feel for this guy, this interesting guy, 70-year-old up in Michigan.
He bought a ticket on the Lucky for Life last August.
He checked it about a month or so later, and he said you had to contact the lottery office for his prize.
He thought he'd won maybe $5,000.
So he was going to call and check it later, and he forgot about it.
Then his girlfriend...
Good for him.
Found the ticket in the car and asked if he checked.
He said, yeah, I checked it.
And he said, when I came up, I scanned it at the store.
She checked the winning numbers online.
We found out that I had won $25,000 a year for life.
We couldn't believe it.
He ended up taking the $390,000 lump sum prize.
I can understand that from a 70-year-old.
I mean, think about that.
He came out way, way ahead.
Even if he lived...
I mean, he'd have to live, you know, what, 25, 30 more years to make the same there?
You know they were pissed when they found out how old he was.
Oh, yeah.
They were like, he's what?
No, no, no, no.
Take the ticket away.
You know what?
Just tell him it's $10,000.
Listen, if you just handed me $350,000, something like that?
Yep.
Think about what you could do 70 years old with $350,000.
Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah.
First of all, 70 years old, I think I would just, because it's, alright, let's say he lives to 100, right?
From 90 to 100, you're probably not doing a ton of stuff, right?
Right.
Buy the boat that everyone says is going to be a huge, horrible investment.
You're not going to live that long.
I'm not going to buy a boat at $40,000 or $50,000 because I'm going to have it for a while.
But at $70,000, I'm going to buy a boat and I'm going to go just sail on it and let it get ruined and then that's it.
It doesn't go to anybody.
It's just me.
Look, at $300,000, Average cost, plane ticket and everything for like an all-inclusive resort for a week is like, let's just say around $3,000 or $4,000.
And if y'all don't believe that, you can contact my wife, Lisa, who would be happy to book a trip.
You know, we can do that.
So think about it.
$300,000.
He could just book trips every month for the next...
You know, 20 years.
Yeah, he can just hang out.
Yeah, he literally gets to be like, where do you want to go this week?
Barbados.
Okay.
And you know what he could do?
Anyway, there's a million things he could do with $300,000.
But anyway, we don't have to get into that.
It all makes it up.
Interestingly enough, as we finish up, we wrap up here, I do want to let you get in a little moment here.
I won't say anything about the stellar pace the Atlanta Braves are currently on.
The Mets are hanging close.
I mean, the Mets are so bad at baseball right now.
All of New York is in shambles.
But it doesn't matter, Doug.
You know why?
Because today the NFL schedule is being released, and baseball doesn't matter, for just one more day.
Well, the Knicks are still going to bring in it.
Doug, the Knicks, I hate the Knicks, everything about them, just the whole organization could go away.
They will lose tomorrow or the next day in Miami, whenever it is.
But I do want to say, Doug, that I did see one of the schedule leaks.
Yes.
And it turns out that the Minnesota Vikings are going to be visiting the Las Vegas Raiders.
Uh-oh.
When?
I don't know the day.
I think it's like week eight or something.
So we got a week late.
Could this be a Friday's Finest from Vegas?
Doug, don't get me.
Don't, don't, don't.
A Friday's finest from Vegas is a dangerous time.
One of us might get lost.
I'm not trying to pretend this is going to be the hangover, but if we lose one of us...
It's time to book a trip!
All right.
Tickets on you, you said?
We'll figure it out, but not now.
Hey, look at it.
Here's your poll question for you.
If you want to see, and you would like to be a part of the studio audience for Doug and James in Vegas for the Vikings Raiders game for a Friday's Finest episode, go to DougCollinsPodcast.com, shoot us an email.
Let us know if you think that would be a great time.
Who knows where this thing may...
James, you may have started something here.
I hope I did, and I also hope I didn't.
It will be amazing.
We have the schedules out.
By the way, Falcons are going to...
I actually did think about the Falcons and Jaguars are October 1st in London, and I came real close to saying, oh, let's go to that, until I realized that, and Copeland, I know you're listening to the podcast, and Holly probably as well, your wedding's the day before, so we won't be going.
Look at that.
You chose family over one of your football teams.
I'm there.
I'm there.
Now, the other son says we can leave right after the wedding.
I like his attitude.
He's like, let's just go.
We'll just get there.
Don't worry about it.
We'll get there.
We'll get it.
Well, folks, that's what we have on this Friday.
We didn't even get into one that I wanted to discuss.
We may do this a little later time.
I discussed it in the opening, James, but Look, if CNN or anybody else thought that they were going to embarrass Donald Trump, they were going to try and make him irrelevant, they didn't do anything but just continue to show why he's dominating this field.
There'll be more times to talk about this as we go forward, but how else can you get from lottery numbers to pasta To, you know, $250 nachos only on the Doug Collins Podcast and only on Friday's Finest when James and I discuss the world and give you the insight that you've been dying for.
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