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Aug. 19, 2024 - The Dan Bongino Show
59:10
Deep State Plot Against Trump Takes Troubling Twist (Ep. 2311)
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Time Text
Thank you.
Oh man, I got a weekend update for you.
Everything's crazy right now.
You ever move?
You've moved.
Of course you've moved.
Everybody's moved.
Well, man, who knows?
Maybe some haven't.
You're blessed if you're in your childhood home, right?
Most people aren't.
We're like all nomads now.
Everybody moves around.
So I'm finally done moving and I'm in the new crib, right?
And everything's strange.
Everything's strange.
We upgraded a little bit so I can't find anything.
And it's like I get up in the morning and you ever move and you don't even realize like you don't have something until you don't have it.
And you know why you realize it?
Because you don't have it.
And you're like, it's not there.
And you're like, I think it's in the other house, which we haven't fully moved out of yet.
Luckily, they're not too far apart.
But I probably put a thousand miles on my car this week and going back and forth, getting stuff I forgot.
I'm like, I forgot the fish oil.
I forgot the red light guy.
I forgot this guy.
The craziest week.
Out on a boat.
Big weekend.
Funniest thing I've ever seen with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
They are the biggest phonies out there.
New Secret Service thing I've told you about.
Beat them to the punch.
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I got that good weekend update for you.
And again, the DNC proving conservatives are right about everything.
The DNC proving conservatives are right.
I thought walls don't work.
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Alright fellas, let's get this started.
So today was my first day commuting over to the studio from the new crib.
So moved I love the place.
Paula did an amazing job.
And I have this really blacked out room.
Knockout drapes.
There's no light in there whatsoever.
Which is good at night because it makes me go to sleep.
And I get this cold plunge.
So I take cold showers in the morning.
Freezing cold showers.
And I thought I understood...
I thought I understood how cold water could be.
The shower in my house, because it's Florida, it's not that cold.
Probably 60 degrees.
But you think it's cold.
So the guy installs this cold plunge, right?
Because I love this cold.
I'm all into cold exposure and life hacks, right?
And the dude says to me, what do you want the temperature at?
Any of you guys ever been in a cold plunge ever?
Like an ice bath?
You know, you played football in college or whatever.
They throw you in the ice.
Same thing, right?
I don't know.
I say, put it at 40. He's like, 40?
Are you crazy?
I'm like, He's like 55. He's like 40. He goes, you're going to pass?
I take cold showers.
You know me.
If I can do 55, I can do 40. I jumped in that thing this morning.
Justin, what did I tell you?
I almost died.
Folks, if I was in there five seconds, the only reason I was in there five seconds is it's hard to get out of because it's a cold plunge.
You've got to plunge in.
And I was like, you might as well have dropped me on hot irons and charcoal.
I get out of there so fast, maybe 5.27 seconds I was in there.
I jumped back in for about 15 seconds afterwards because I was so embarrassed.
I was such a wuss bag.
I don't like being a wuss bag.
I'm like, get back in that sucker!
But now I'm bumping that thing up to 50. I... Do you have any idea how freaking cold 40 degree water is?
Man, you don't even need coffee anymore.
Went out on the boat this weekend.
Saw a lot of people at the Stewart's Sandbar.
Love you all.
Thank you for all the kind words.
It was great seeing you.
And listen, had some good times with some friends.
You know, maybe...
I'm gonna send you this picture.
I'm going to send this to show prep.
You got to throw this up by the end of the show.
I'll show you.
You want to see this picture?
This is me and my homies.
I'm going to send this to my...
Here, put this up in the show if you can.
I wasn't going to do this, but what the hell?
Because I have a drink in my hand.
It's Gatorade, I promise.
It was hot out there today, that day.
It is.
It's electrolyte water.
The fermented kind of election.
But we had a good time.
So I was not driving the boat.
We have a skipper.
It's not my boat.
I don't have a boat.
It's my friend's boat.
We have a skipper.
But we had a good time at the Stuart Sandbar.
So many nice people came up and said hello.
So, listen, thank you all, man.
You all are the best.
I appreciate it.
Alright, there's my weekend update.
Oh, you got it already?
Look at that!
Look at that guy!
What shoulders on that dude?
So, that's my doctor friend to the left, because remember my rule, right?
Always hang out with people smarter than you.
If you are the dumbest guy in the room, you're doing it right, because you'll always be smarter.
Guy to my left is my doctor friend, That the other guy next to me is one of the smartest business guys I know.
That's his kid.
That's the orthodontist.
And then this other guy is a foreign exchange guy we know who comes to the area and has a skipper over there on the far right.
So we had a good time.
And again, there's electrolytes in the water.
Fermented electrolytes.
And it's funny.
They make the electrolytes, Justin, taste like tequila.
It's crazy.
Tequila-flavored electrolytes.
It's so nuts.
Yes!
Yes!
I see.
You know, he's in college.
Unfortunately, he has some experience with that.
So, it was a fun weekend.
Alright, getting into the serious stuff.
So, one of the Benny's...
Yeah, the serious stuff.
I know.
This is like the most non-serious thing ever.
Like, that's the joke here.
This is even funnier than what I just said, even though it's not intentional.
Folks, I did this for a living for 12 years, okay?
I will never, ever bullshit you, I promise, okay?
Every politician does this type of thing, where they stage some event.
I'll give you an example.
A Republican, Democrat, I'm only using a Democrat example not to be partisan, even though I don't like Democrats, but because it was the last one I remember.
When I was on Obama's security detail, they wanted to go stop at a lemonade stand.
I think it was near Chicago.
I've told this story before.
So they send an advance guy out there.
I mean, about an hour out.
I don't want to make it out like it was like a two-week advance.
And they stop, and it looked like it was all extemporaneous.
Like, oh my gosh, Obama just stopped for lemonade.
I promise you, folks, none of this stuff is just like, oh, boom, let's just stop and get lemonade.
Like, it doesn't work that way.
Everything's scripted.
Bush did it.
I'm sure Donald Trump did it.
Every Republican that they scripted.
The reason this is funny, this, air quotes, unscripted moment with Kamala Harris, her husband, and Tampon Tim Walls, it's not that it's phony.
It's all phony.
I just told you that.
It's that they're so bad at pretending it's real.
Obama faked it like that looked real.
Oh, man, look, Obama stopped for lemonade.
Even Bush was good at faking it.
This woman is the most inauthentic, non-genuine...
Are we going to play this as a side?
Play it as a side because I don't want to talk over this.
I want you to watch.
She goes in like a Sheetz or a Wawa.
I don't know what it is.
And she pretends she's looking for Doritos.
And Tim Walz is like, you've seen it, right?
She said, look, I found the Doritos.
And she's like, is there corn nuts over there too?
Corn nuts and Doritos.
Really?
You really believe she was like jonesing for corn nuts and Doritos and just randomly stopped at his sheets?
Watch this video.
You want to laugh your ass.
This is funnier than my weekend update.
Check this out.
What?
Oh, I found new Doritos.
And it's just like, oh, wow, Doritos!
Look at that.
That's so cool.
And it's jumbo sized.
Look at Dougie.
Look at Dougie, the husband.
Dougie's like, we got the Doritos!
Oh, look!
Look at it!
Wow, Doritos!
Let me reach over here.
As if she doesn't know, like, the Doritos.
Notice she's in, like, the candy section.
Here's her hint, Kamala.
The Doritos are on the chip side.
Have you ever been in a Sheetz or a Wawa?
Look!
Look, look!
Look, I found them!
I found the Dorito!
This is so great!
Thank you, Tim!
I promise you, not a single Dorito was eaten.
Let me let you in on a little secret, okay?
When you're the vice president of president, in the limo, on Air Force Two and Air Force One, whatever snacks you want are there times a thousand.
George W. liked it.
They had these little dove chocolates.
Trump, I think, was the M&M's guy or whatever.
Whatever you want, they have.
I promise she was not hunting for Doritos.
She is the phoniest candidate ever.
I say that as the DNC starts this week because, folks, this is not about issues, okay?
I'm sorry.
I was watching Fox this morning.
I was working out.
This is after I almost died, Nicole.
Almost died.
Justin, did I not tell you I almost died?
The show almost didn't happen today!
I almost had a...
I was like...
The only thing to save me was getting out immediately, warming up.
After I get out, I go back to the house.
I dry off.
I recover.
I had to put myself under a heat lamp.
I'm being so dramatic.
I had to put myself...
Star Wars reference.
This is only for Guy.
What was the thing?
The Tauntaun where they cut him open?
Was that a Tauntaun?
See, I got there.
I had to laser lights and get myself in a Tauntaun.
So I made it.
But when I turn on Fox, I'm working out.
Doing the workout.
And there's a lady, Lawrence Jones, who's a great guy, in Chicago at the DNC. And he's asking all these people about the election.
And it's funny to listen to people talk.
And I'm not knocking them.
What are these guys?
I can already see.
Here we go.
There he is!
With Doritos Tim!
Cat Turd!
Cat Turd Army!
Get it trending!
Doritos Tim!
There he is!
He's Doritos the champion of the Doritos!
Folks, I'm sorry.
The Monday show is always a little nuts because I got a little pent up energy from the weekend.
But no, this is serious.
I'm watching Fox.
And they're doing man-on-the-street interviews with Lawrence Jones.
And people are like, listen, and it was good to hear them say this.
They were interviewing largely minority voters, which is cool that they said, but they're like, well, we're not really locked in with the Democrats.
Awesome.
I'm glad you're giving the Republicans a chance.
But a lot of people said this, and I had us kind of like, for a second, I was like, really?
Like, well, I got to hear their platforms first.
What?
You really don't know what the Democrats stand for?
I mean, we've had four years of big government, excessive money printing, open borders, castrating kids, porn in schools, public safety crises, defund or repurpose police money, reimagine ICE. They've said it!
Government health care for all.
A war on energy.
I mean, you can look this stuff up.
Folks, I'm not trying to sound like a dick, okay?
Seriously.
To voters who are open to voting Republican, I'm just saying, like, you can look this stuff up.
They've done all this.
How does this tie you into the Doritos story?
See how I do all this?
Folks, none of this is about issues.
Campaigns are about two things.
What are they?
Chat.
Get on it.
Snapshots and soundbites.
How many times I got to tell you that?
We are 77 days from an election or something?
And you're telling me you still don't know the platforms of the two candidates?
I'm telling you, they're not kidding.
A lot of people don't.
They hear snapshots and soundbites.
That is it.
Kamala Harris is a fake.
She's a phony.
Everything they're telling you right now is a big freaking fraud.
I want you to watch this video.
This is freaking tragically hilarious.
I mean, it's a tragedy, but at the same time, it's so hilarious that people keep falling for this.
I don't understand the Democrats' platform.
I do.
The Democrats have voted against every single border wall measure at the southern border.
Are border walls going to stop every single illegal immigrant?
No.
Not even close.
People cut through them.
People do climb over them.
The point of a border wall is it's an obstacle.
And if it stops 60% of people, that's 60% of criminal activity that's not happening.
Why do liberals pretend to be stupid with this?
It's like...
Putting police officers in a neighborhood.
Is crime going to be zero?
No.
You put police officers in a neighborhood hoping to reduce crime.
Just like a wall would reduce but not stop illegal immigration.
Why do you pretend to not know this?
The answer is because the people doing this are evil and want open borders like Kamala Harris.
Why am I bringing this up?
Here's a local news report out of Chicago.
Even the local Democrats in the area are all ticked off that they're putting up walls all over the place.
But I don't understand.
If liberals keep telling us walls don't work, then why do they keep using walls at their event?
Folks in the chat, is this a dumbass question?
If it is, stop me.
I don't understand.
If you're telling me this item, the wall, the wheel, the lever, the inclined plane, the pulley, if you're telling me these things don't work, then why do you keep using them?
I thought that, oh no, people can climb over them.
Yeah, no kidding.
But most of them won't.
Watch this.
Behind me, over my shoulder, you'll notice those fences and snow plows in place.
We've actually watched all morning as they have started to bring in more metal fencing, more barricades, and these snow plows have been kind of navigating around those barricades and getting into place around the UC. Take a look at some of this video we got earlier this morning.
You can see a lot of cars have been turning around already as they're met with these new closures that have been set in place overnight and early this morning.
You know, I didn't even catch this.
They got a guy named literally Walls on the ticket.
Walls don't work.
You know what?
Walls don't work.
Tim Walls.
That Tim Walls don't work.
Walls actually work.
Listen, I get it, folks, in the chat.
You'd be paying me the biggest compliment right now, everyone in the chat.
Dan, this is the dumbest segment ever.
It's the best compliment you could give me.
Because it is!
Because you're all smart.
You're like, yes, there are obstructions.
They'll stop 90% of people.
That's why we use them.
Look at this.
Now it's the tragedy part.
Sorry to take you through an emotional rollercoaster, but that's what this show is.
Bill Malugian, great reporter at Fox, and a super nice guy, by the way.
Follow him on Twitter.
He's at BillMalugian underscore.
This past week alone, this past week, not year, Illegal aliens were arrested for rapes of two women in New York City.
The rape of a pregnant woman in Massachusetts.
The attempted rape of another woman in Massachusetts.
A Peruvian gang leader wanted for 23 murders was also arrested.
All were caught and released at the border under the Biden administration.
Thought they were about protecting women.
Folks, it's all BS, man.
All of it.
It's all BS. Walls don't work.
Walls do.
Yeah, that's good.
There you go.
You're absolutely right.
Walls don't work.
We've got to get on that one on social media, too.
W-A-L-Z don't work.
W-A-L-L-S, or three L's if you're Biden.
Definitely work.
Folks, don't buy anything they're telling you.
These people are full of crap.
Alright, I got an update on the Secret Service story.
And shockingly, it continues to get worse.
Folks, everything I told you, we were two to three weeks ahead of the news cycle.
I promise you, self-praise stinks.
I just never want you to waste your time here.
Remember what I told you?
About Mar-a-Lago, how Secret Service management kept telling this Trump detail, we're not going to secure, well, I shouldn't say that.
They didn't say that.
We're not going to provide extra security at Mar-a-Lago because we don't secure nightclubs.
Remember I told you that?
How many people in the chat remember that?
I told you this, what, August of 2023, last year?
The Washington Post finally picked up the story yesterday.
Finally.
Finally.
You were a year, literally a year, August of 2023, ahead of him.
Let me take a quick break and then I'm going to get to that.
And I'll show you how, again, we keep beating billion-dollar media enterprises on this show just doing homework.
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We beat the Washington Post again despite an entire cadre of reporters out there claiming to be doing journalism.
Everything in this article you already knew.
But now they claim to have their own sources.
And just to be clear...
I'm not questioning the fact that these sources are legitimate.
They claim to have eight Secret Service insiders as sources.
I don't think they're making it up because the story's true.
And, you know, unlike the Washington Post that'll, you know, crap on me at any opportunity, I don't return the favor unless they lie.
This article is in the newsletter.
Bongino.com slash newsletter.
Please subscribe.
Check it out.
Secret Service finds protecting Trump is extraordinarily challenging.
The gist of this article, I think, is to kind of take a shot at Donald Trump.
But remember what I told you about, how the Secret Service is a government entity.
And because it's a government entity, there's almost no accountability whatsoever.
And they apply their security model based on titles, not based on threat.
I want you to read this.
Did I not tell you that?
Don't take this down.
Leave this up for a second.
Just to remind you what I said.
One of the biggest errors the Secret Service makes in allocating agents to a protectee...
Is they do it based on title.
Oh, well this guy's the president.
So he should get more.
Well, why?
Well, because he's the president.
Well, is his threat level higher?
No.
So why is he getting more?
Because we said so.
There's no method to the madness at all.
Well, we give him less protection because he's a former president.
Well, what if there's a high threat level?
Too bad.
Here, quote, current and former officials says the agency's never been asked to provide such a heavy level of protection to a former president, and the levels provided even before the shooting went beyond Secret Service guidelines.
Some agency officials have grown frustrated with requests from Trump's team to schedule events that seem especially challenging to protect, two of the people said.
You get in the gist of this, how the Washington Post is putting lipstick on this pig I freaking warned you about!
Folks, yes, the President of the United States has the nuclear football.
He has a staff around him.
If we lose the President of the United States, the entire world goes into chaos.
There is no doubt, no matter who he is, his threat levels are 99 out of 100. The problem is, Donald Trump's is a 99 out of 100. And the angle of the Washington Post, it appears they're trying to take here.
I applaud them for even writing the piece.
Well, I shouldn't be applauding these idiots, but at least they wrote it.
But you see how they're still trying to pawn it off on Trump?
Like, oh my gosh, he just travels a lot.
Obama traveled a lot, so did Clinton after they left office.
Trump's threat level is through the roof.
Now, remember what I told you about Mar-a-Lago, where the agents who run Trump's detail...
The agents, the entire management structure, they were horrified at the Mar-a-Lago security plan.
It doesn't matter that Donald Trump has people at Mar-a-Lago.
That's not your business, Secret Service management, at all.
Your business is to secure it, not to tell him how to live his life.
Trump's Secret Service detail put together an intrusion detection plan they believe would make Mar-a-Lago a safer place for Trump.
But when they asked for the funds, several million dollars, according to people with knowledge of the request, they were mostly denied by the Secret Service.
Ladies and gentlemen, the current director, Ron Rowe, was part of this.
They received about 10% of what they requested, meaning 9 out of 10 requests were denied.
According to people familiar with the dispute, let me tell you on my integrity and everything that matters to me, this story, even though it's in the Washington Post, the pee-pee tape paper, is 100% accurate.
I told you the line that was used when they made these requests about Mar-a-Lago.
We don't secure nightclubs, like real smartasses, the management team of the Secret Service.
It's not your business.
What if a nightclub owner wins the presidency?
You're going to let the president get killed because you don't secure nightclubs?
It's not even a nightclub.
Folks, listen, I'm not telling you anything different.
I haven't told insiders and people in the Trump circle too.
This guy is in real danger.
This management team in charge right now is entirely incapable of putting together a thorough security plan to make sure Donald Trump doesn't get hurt.
They are not.
The people on the Trump detail have a different mindset.
You heard it here first.
Washington Post, if you would have written the story, Carol Lenning and Josh Dorsey, and I know Carol, August of 2023, instead of, you know, your lackey friends in the media calling me a conspiracy theorist, like that asshole at NBC, Daniel, whatever his name was, saying that me and Tucker were conspiracy theorists for saying Trump was going to get shot or killed or worse.
Maybe if you guys had written a story about what I talked about, we wouldn't have had this murder scene.
What was that guy's name?
Do you remember the Daniel guy at NBC? Dan Arkin.
Yeah.
Dan Bongino is a conspiracy theorist.
As if I didn't have sources in my old job, you dipshit.
And by the way, when is that asshole going to apologize?
The answer is never.
You guys are a year late.
All right, let me get back to the show.
I got a couple other things I want to talk about too here.
A lot of things to talk about.
Folks, the liberal media is losing their monopoly over the messaging now.
This has been obvious for years.
What was Walter Cronkite, NBC, you know, Peter Jennings at ABC and Brokaw years ago, if it didn't happen on those shows and the weekend shows, it didn't happen.
It disappeared.
Social media and the decreasing power of these liberal enterprises has really, really made it harder to hide the stupid.
I want you to focus on this for the next few minutes of the show because it's an important segment.
Friday, I got off of work to show, you know, three o'clock on Friday.
And I was really excited about the weekend.
I was going out on a boat with my friends, as you saw.
And I really enjoy, I love my life.
And I thank God every day for all the gifts.
But it hit me this weekend, and that's why I talked about it in the beginning of the show, how there are people out there who either claim they don't know the Democrats' platform, and the far-left radicals that do will advocate for the dumbest things known to humankind.
Walls don't work, defund the police.
Some people fall for this.
The evil ones push it and know it's stupid, but some people fall for this.
It's getting...
Here's the good news.
Now here we take a turn, okay?
Because I don't want to be, you know, Danny Downer on a Monday.
The dumbassery is getting harder to hide.
I want you to watch this segment that's hilarious.
I don't know if Don Lemon did.
Remember Don Lemon?
Who CNN parted ways with him and then he's got this like failing show and I mean he's trying to break through in the podcasting space.
And by the way, we're kicking ass and taking aims.
Evita's new show is like blowing up the charts.
We're still killing it.
Thanks to you all.
So Don, what does Tucker call him?
Don Lamont?
So Don Lemon is trying to start some kind of podcast.
And whether he intended this to go viral or not, it went viral for all the wrong reasons.
He's obviously a devout liberal activist.
And he's genuinely dumb.
Like, he falls for this stuff.
He actually believes the Biden economy is doing well.
Real wages down.
Labor force participation.
Productivity suffering.
Now we've got a jobs revision down a million jobs.
They said we're up.
It's really comical how stupid you have to be.
Watch him go to a blue part of New Jersey and just randomly do another man on the street.
How many of these have we played now, guys?
About 20?
They can't find a freaking Biden-Harris supporter anywhere!
Even the liberals!
Check this out.
We're here in Jersey, Atlantic City.
Who do you support?
I plead the fifth.
Trump for the win.
Tell me why.
I can't really call that right now, but I just feel like she's not good for president.
She's good vice, but not for the actual lead role for the country.
Does it have anything to do with being a woman?
No.
Mm-mm.
No.
Because I feel like women, nah, you're not going to give me that.
Your money's on Harris.
Yeah.
Who do you want?
Trump.
Why don't you like Harris?
She doesn't have any experience.
She's the vice president.
She's a senator.
She had no experience.
Well, I want Donald Trump.
I just feel we need somebody that has a stronger background with the military.
The world in general.
She was a prosecutor and an attorney general and a senator and a vice president.
You're in a gambling town.
Who's your money on?
I'm going to support the Democratic Party, but, I mean, Trump looks like he got it in the bag right now.
Four years ago, it was a lot better.
I made a lot more money than I do now.
I know you feel that way, but that's not actually what the record shows.
The economy is actually better under Biden.
No, I'm serious.
What?
That's what the facts show.
Okay, you know what?
No, no, no.
That's not because I watch CNN. Trump or Harris?
Trump.
That's who's going to win.
That's who's going to win.
Folks, again, I am a man of numbers and facts.
I believe in data.
When I'm speculating, I tell you that, but I build my opinion based on a set, a data set.
Polling, issues, numbers, and I put together and formulate some kind of a hopefully educated opinion in the end.
I get that man-on-the-street interviews are not a statistically sound way to determine who's going to win an election.
I understand.
However, don't you find it odd that I have now played, seriously, probably 20-plus man-on-the-street interviews from Don Lemon, Newsmax, OAN, I mean, you name it.
Nobody can find a Biden supporter anywhere.
They're in Atlantic City, folks.
This is not some die-hard conservative stronghold like Norman, Oklahoma or something.
They can't find a supporter.
Let's go back to the beginning of the show.
Why?
Why can't they find a supporter?
Because they don't like the platform?
Forget the platform.
For you admit, soundbites and snapshots.
People find Donald Trump relatable.
You know why?
He goes to a Chick-fil-A and he's not like, hey, who has the Doritos?
That's why.
The snapshots will always be bad for Kamala Harris and the soundbites are even worse.
That's it.
I'm not telling you it's going to be a landslide.
I'm not.
No talk of that.
I'm just saying, don't get all down either after this week.
All the gaslighting that's going to happen at the DNC. Oh, it's over, man.
This was the best presentation ever.
You're going to hear it this week to try to take the air out of the Republican balloon.
Don't let that happen either.
The stupid people are starting to see through it.
I'll show you what I mean coming up in a second.
Again, even the Washington Post, it's like Kamala Harris is a moron.
This is how bad her economic plan last week was.
Folks, I am really stoked to have this new sponsor.
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Folks, they can't hide the stupid anymore, okay?
People are starting to see through the dopey soundbites.
So Kamala Harris came out with what she alleges is an economic plan last week.
And she said, we're going to institute Soviet-style price controls.
She didn't use those words, of course.
She used flowery soundbites.
But proving to you that the stupid isn't sticking anymore...
The left-wing communist Washington Post wrote a piece just destroying the stupidity of Soviet-style price controls in the United States.
Here it is right here.
You think I'm lying here?
The Times demands serious economic ideas.
The Times demands serious economic ideas.
Harris supplies gimmicks.
Price gouging is not causing inflation.
So why is the Vice President promising to stamp it out?
Folks, this is the Washington Post.
I want you to understand something.
I know you guys like the economic segments.
Why?
Our poll had a big sample size.
Folks, whenever the government tells a company, you can only charge this much for a product, if it costs more, the company's not going to produce the product.
Because they can't make money.
Folks, please in the chat, help me.
Help me.
Help me before I lose my mind.
Because I'm serious.
I can't do this stupid anymore.
Especially after I was dying.
I had a near-death experience.
Near-death.
I had to go into Tauntaun.
Avina's like, I think you're being a little traumatic.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm totally not.
Disclose, folks.
Disclose.
So, Evita's like, this is going on the show tomorrow.
I want full coverage of my near-death experience on our early edition with Evita tomorrow.
I'll be very upset.
I'm finding a new host if she doesn't cover it tomorrow.
Extensively.
The whole show, as a matter of fact.
Start to finish.
Folks, chat, please help me.
Is there anyone in the chat, seriously, who doesn't understand this?
I'm not being a jerk.
Does anyone in the chat understand that the government that has no idea...
How to run your business or how much it costs to make your product?
That the government, if they tell you you can only charge this and it costs you this plus this, you will not produce the product because you will lose money and go out of business?
Is there anyone...
Guys, can you watch the chat?
If anyone says, no, Dan, I don't understand.
Please, I'm going to send you a link to an economics book.
It's called Charlie Brown's Economics.
I think it's still out there, okay?
It comes with a crayon set, as Michael just said.
It comes with crayons, and you can figure it out.
This is not hard.
So now even the Washington Post is like, Kamala Harris is as dumb as she looks.
Soviet price controls don't work.
Here is CNN. CNN. I had to cut these two clips, which I never do, from the same clip on CNN. This is a CNN clip, where even CNN and Catherine Rampell, the guests, are like, this is the dumbest freaking thing I've ever heard.
You want Soviet-style economics?
Vote Kamala Harris.
Here's part one where the lady, Rampell, they're mocking price gouging, saying, what the hell is price gouging?
How does the government know what a fair price is?
The government needs to know how to run the government.
Check this out.
Catherine, I read your piece and I heard you just mention it.
The federal ban on price gouging for groceries.
You are skeptical of this.
Why?
Why?
Well, first of all, nobody can explain what price gouging means.
It's like that old line about pornography.
I know it when I see it.
In the sense that, what does it mean to have an excessive price or an excessive profit margin?
That seems to be shorthand for a price or a profit margin that bugs me.
That seems too high.
The government doesn't know how to run the government.
If you have a company, look, this keychain I got, right?
It's like this cool magnetic little thing.
So, you know, when I leave the key fob in the car or something like that, well, I don't know anything about it.
Anything.
Dan, you're a reasonably smart guy.
Even if you think I'm like only an average smart, even if you think I'm a dumb guy, how hard can it be to figure out how to make magnetic keychains?
The answer, really hard.
Or else everybody would be making millions selling magnetic keychains, but only a few people are.
Because they're really good at it.
They found the best magnet people at the best price, the best metal people, the best fabricators.
None of this is easy.
We don't like your price for the keychain.
That's gouging.
Really?
Explain to me how to run my business.
We don't know how to run your business.
Then shut the...
This is CNN. Here's the same segment.
I never make two cuts from the same thing on CNN because this is like the Moron Network.
Here they are again, noting that, you know, this has been tried before.
The government, that's too stupid to run the government, trying to run private businesses.
It's been tried in these really successful places.
The Soviet Union, Cuba, Venezuela, and it has a 100% success rate of failing every time.
Again, CNN clip.
Check this out.
It also would be very bad for markets.
We've seen this kind of thing tried in lots of other countries before.
Venezuela, Argentina, the Soviet Union, etc.
It leads to shortages.
It leads to black markets.
You know, plenty of uncertainty.
And beyond that, the specific way this bill is written might actually increase prices because of some of the other language in it.
Folks, I want to tell you what.
They brought up a good point, these guys.
The government and its official money printer, the Federal Reserve, can't even control effectively the price of the dollar.
The price of the dollar by inflation or deflation, what a dollar buys, the value of it.
They can't even control that.
How the hell is the government going to control a magnetic key maker?
They're too stupid!
Now, because folks, I hate being put in some kind of partisan box.
I'm a conservative first, a Republican, believe me, a distant second.
I am not ever going to tell you that dumb Republicans haven't fallen into this same trap.
The government's going to control the economy.
They have.
Richard Nixon tried it.
He was a Republican.
Won in a big landslide.
His re-election.
Wall Street Journal.
It's a good piece.
It's not inaccurate.
Kamala Harris endorses Nixonomics.
They note in a piece that, by the way, Kamala Harris is promising to fight price gouging at supermarkets.
The journal notes, there's no evidence basically at all that supermarkets or food retailers are gouging anyone.
Food prices are higher than they were before the Biden presidency, but it's because of inflation.
Retail grocery prices have risen roughly in tandem with wholesale prices, meaning the supermarkets are charging more because they're paying more to get the stuff.
Supermarkets also have narrow margins on sales, roughly 2%, compared to 8% on average for other businesses.
So basically, Kamala Harris thinks you're a moron.
None of what she's saying is actually true.
They note the last American president to try price controls was Nixon.
He had to stage a humiliating retreat amid shortages and market dislocations, and prices immediately soared when controls were lifted.
Oh, man.
Folks, this is extremely dangerous stuff.
I need you to listen to me.
We now have a series, a set of open communists running for president.
Tim Walls, Tampon Tim, Doritos Tim, right?
We have Doritos here running for president as a communist, for vice president, with an open communist running on actual Soviet price controls.
We have a communist running for president.
This is extremely dangerous.
I get it.
You've heard it.
It's the most important election of your lifetime.
It is.
It is the most important election of your lifetime.
By the way, if you live in Florida, there's a primary tomorrow.
Make sure you vote in a primary tomorrow in Florida.
Folks, here is communist Kamala.
That's exactly what she is.
She is a communist.
The proof is everywhere.
Government take over healthcare, price controls.
Here's a recently resurfaced clip from our last run for office.
Here's Kamala Kamala.
Outright communist, saying she wants to confiscate people's patents.
So just to be clear, you invent a new way to make a cassette tape or whatever it is, they want to confiscate that because the government's entitled to your earnings, not you.
She didn't say that.
Okay, listen to yourself.
Check this out.
I will snatch their patent so that we will take over.
And yes, we can do that.
Yes.
Yes, we can do that.
The question is, do you have the will to do it?
I have the will to do it.
What else could you possibly want to see?
You've got 70, less than 70 years.
Early voting starts very soon.
You've got half that time.
You have an open commie running.
She is a communist.
Can I ask you a simple question again, folks?
Chat, please help me.
I'm not trying to be a jerk.
Anyone in the chat who doesn't understand this, I will send you the link to the Charlie Brown Encyclopedia about economics.
I will send you the link.
You can go pick it up yourself, okay?
Does anyone not understand why you would never get another invention if people can't profit from the invention?
There was a lady who lived next door to me when I was in Severna Park.
Her name was Rachel.
She invented this hair clip product called the Clever Clip.
You ever see those little like sock holder thingies like that?
You know what?
They look like a U, like a thin U, and the sock gets looped through it.
Sometimes you see like hangers that look like that too with pants.
Well, one day in college, this lady Rachel was looking for a thing for her hair, and she couldn't find it.
So she took the sock thing, and she did the hair thing and clipped it, and she was like, wow.
And she invented this product called the Clever Clip.
And you know what they do?
They patent these things, okay?
Because they make money on them.
They make money on them.
If you steal people's patents, nobody's going to invent anything.
Or they're going to take it to another country.
Does anybody not understand this?
This is what happens when an idiot like communist Kamala Harris runs for president who has never had a real job in her adult life.
Ever.
She is an idiot.
Here's Charlie Gasparino.
He's the Fox, one of the business guys over at Fox.
He's got some good context in the field.
Wall Street people, I got news for you, ladies and gentlemen.
This may shock you.
A lot of Wall Street people are diehard libs.
You know that?
They are.
I mean, look at it.
The Corzine, the old governor of New Jersey, Phil Murphy, these are all Wall Street guys.
He's noting that even these Wall Street lefties, their research departments are working overtime to alert clients about the potential for the socialist economic agenda of Kamala Harris since her speech on Friday.
Especially since there are calls for price controls.
He notes even the gentle souls of finance can't escape the reality that Kamala Harris is clueless about business.
Price controls always lead to shortages and is looking to take the country down a dangerous socialist path.
Folks, the goons, lefties at Wall Street who've been screwing us over forever, even they're worried about the communists.
She's a commie.
Snapshots and soundbites, kids.
Snapshots and soundbites.
That's why I love this short ad from the Trump team about the communist ticket.
Harris walls.
Commies.
Hammer and sickle commies.
Straight up commies.
Snapshots and soundbites.
Keep it punchy.
That's why this ad, pay close attention because I promise it's short, is one of the best I've ever seen.
You ready?
All right, go.
A loaf of bread costs 50% more today than it did before the pandemic.
Ground beef is up almost 50%.
I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message.
Did you?
Snapshots and sound bites.
Did you miss it?
It's good, right?
Best spot I've seen yet.
That is Kamala Harris' communist agenda.
Now you see why black markets are going to develop the minute she gets in?
Because people aren't going to pay that.
What happened when they put confiscatory taxes on cigarettes?
You get a black market for cigarettes.
None of this is new.
Here's Larry Kudlow explaining this, by the way, why people are hurting so bad.
Folks, you can get a nominal raise due to inflation.
If it buys less stuff, you're making less money.
The only thing you should be concerned about are real wages.
Real wages, i.e.
what your money buys, not the number.
The number is meaningless.
What it buys is what matters.
Check this out.
Wages have not kept up with prices.
That's right.
So you have what I call the affordability crisis, where real wages are falling about 4% over the course of the Biden-Harris term.
And prices, average families can't afford it.
Mortgage rates are still relevant.
It's what your money buys that matters.
Not the number at the end of the paycheck.
What does it buy?
But don't worry, folks.
Kamala the communist and her communist running mate.
Don't worry, he's got Doritos.
If you guys are listening on Apple and Spotify, you may have to...
You go to the 49-minute mark.
Just watch the...
Things just randomly pop up on the screen now.
Straight up commies!
This is what communists do.
They try to break down...
Can I get a little wonky here for a second?
Forgive me.
I'll make it real quick.
One of the things communists like Kamala Harris and Tim Walls love to do is break down any objective truth.
Objective truth, meaning evil is real, values come from the family, this kind of thing.
Anything objective, you know, male, female, they need to break it down.
Because once they break down the fact that there's no objective truth, no God, there's no evil versus good, then the government can do anything to people because it's not evil because the ends justify the means.
You get it?
Anything objective.
There is a reason they are involved in gender warfare.
It's not because they don't know what a woman is.
It's they don't want you to know what a woman is.
Because anything objective, male and female, has to be wiped out.
Don't ever forget this clip, where she was such a radical moron on the stage with CNN and Chris Cuomo.
Even Chris Cuomo was taken aback by her giving out her pronouns as if anyone was confused as to if she was a male or a female.
Remember this?
Good to see you, Senator.
Thank you for joining us.
Appreciate it.
How are you?
And my pronouns are she, her, and hers.
She, her, and hers.
Mine, too.
Alright.
Alright, first question for the night.
The cringiest...
Did you forget about that?
Chris Cuomo's like, uh, okay.
Yeah, me too.
Because he's so confused by the stupid.
He's like, she's actually doing this?
Oh gosh, she practiced that.
Some focus group told her to say that.
She is the most inauthentic, fake, phony person.
You got corn nuts?
You got Doritos?
She's a fraud.
I get it.
They're all phonies, folks.
Some people fake it better and at least do smart things.
Kamala Harris doesn't fake it and does dumb things that get people killed, like communism.
I'm going to help you out here because I love you.
I try not to play these too much.
And you guys, if you see Milton Friedman, honestly, they know it's probably a pretty slow news week because I like to take those opportunities to put a little educational material.
Look, I got two full pages.
I promise you that's not the case today at all.
I really need to play this before the election.
It's only about a minute.
This is Milton Friedman describing why Kamala Harris expanding the government even more than it is now.
It's such a threat to you.
Tax rates matter.
But what matters more is what the government spends.
Because whether you're paying it in taxes now or taxes tomorrow or inflation today, every single government debt is paid by you.
Every debt.
Don't forget it.
Save this clip and play this clip for every one of your liberal friends and ask them to debate you.
It's only a minute long.
What government spends is what matters, and Kamala wants to spend a whole lot more.
Watch this.
As I said before, keep your eye on one thing and one thing only, how much government is spending, because that's the true tax.
Every budget is balanced.
There is no such thing as an unbalanced federal budget.
You're paying for it.
If you're not paying for it through it in the form of explicit taxes, you're paying for it indirectly in the form of inflation or in the form of borrowing.
The thing you should keep your eye on is what government spends.
And the real problem is to hold down government spending as a fraction of our income.
And if you do that, you can stop worrying about the debt.
Folks, Kamala Harris wants to spend more, not less.
Every dollar spent is a dollar taken from you in the form of a tax, in the form of inflation, and in the form of a lower quality of life.
Period.
J.D. Vance had a...
J.D.'s getting better.
He had a hell of a weekend again.
He is just killing it on...
Come along.
Anita always crushing it.
Anita and the McGroin crew.
We were talking about this morning, the original McGroin.
Remember Holden McGroin, how the whole thing started?
At the end of the year, we're going to do a shout-out to you, McGroins.
The original McGroin show.
JD's been crushing on the weekend shows.
Here he is this weekend.
One of the best analogies I've ever heard on TV. Why allowing Kamala to control the government budget as president and inflation?
Listen to this analogy.
You'll get it after it's done.
Check this out.
The American people just don't buy the idea that Kamala Harris, who has been vice president for three and a half years, is somehow going to tackle the inflation crisis in a way tomorrow that she hasn't for the past 1300 days.
Giving Kamala Harris control over inflation policy, Shannon, it's like giving Jeffrey Epstein control over human trafficking policy.
The American people are much smarter than that.
They don't buy the idea that Kamala Harris represents a fresh start.
She is more of the same.
It is doubling down on the failed policies of the Harris administration to give Kamala Harris a promotion rather than to fire her, which is what I think most Americans are going to do on November. which is what I think most Americans are going to He shot a brief face.
That's hilarious.
They don't control inflation as they put Jeffrey Epstein in charge of human trafficking.
JD, again.
What did I tell you?
Listen to your boy Dan.
Listen.
Listen.
I know these guys.
These guys.
I promise it's only going to get better.
Guy is a freaking bulldog.
That is one of the best things I've ever heard on TV. Alright, I'm going to end the show today with something hilarious, okay?
So this guy Jason works with me on social media.
Good guy.
And this weekend, I'm in the house.
We're moving.
I'm like all tired.
I'm sitting down.
I needed a good laugh, so I'm just scrolling through X. And I see on Jason's feed...
He's like, oh my gosh, you got to hear this comedian.
And every time I hear you got to hear this comedian, I'm like, yeah, boy, it's not going to be funny.
But I was like, ah, whatever.
I was sitting at the couch.
I had a minute or two.
I'm like, let me play this clip.
Have you ever heard of this guy, Drew Dunn?
Anyone in the chat?
You know this guy?
I don't know him.
Never met him.
Again, I don't care about anybody's politics.
If you're funny, you're funny.
I'm not interested in like, wait...
This guy has the funniest clip.
Listen, I get it.
It's about the whole Trump thing, but we gotta learn to at least laugh a little bit, even in times of crisis.
It keeps us all sane.
Drew Dunn has his bit about the butler.
Just listen about what happened with the assassination plot.
And you tell me at the end.
Check this out.
All the conspiracy theories come out around it, too.
I don't know what to believe.
All I do know is that if our government tried to do an assassination attempt, that's kind of how it would look.
It was very inefficient.
That was the DMV of assassination attack.
That was...
That's not good.
At a very small budget, you could tell.
They wanted to do it with a grassy knoll at a parade like they were used to.
Like, we can't swing that.
We gotta do a tin roof at a town fair.
That's all we got.
Can't get any ex-military people to take the shot.
Let's get the kid who came in last place on his marksman team.
That apparently high schools have marksman teams.
I've never...
Dude, that was just one big government block of cheese.
Like, that's all that was.
It was insane.
I was hoping Trump was gonna come out the same day here still bleeding and do the press conference.
They tried to shoot me!
They tried to shoot me.
They were too slow and I'm too fast.
I dodged the bullet.
They didn't even see me.
At Drew Dunn Comedy.
You want to give him a follow?
I laughed.
You know, listen, it's crazy times.
Sometimes you just need to blow some steam off.
Folks, thanks so much for tuning in.
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