Do men ever have truly platonic female friends? Is it worth dating people with political and religious differences? What are the real ways for a woman to attract a man, and vice versa? Charlie and Erika Kirk had a marriage and love that millions of other young Americans envied, and in a joint AMA back in 2023, they fielded all kinds of questions about love, marriage, and relationships. It's timeless advice that all young people need to hear. Watch every episode ad-free on members.charliekirk.com! Get new merch at charliekirkstore.com!Support the show: http://www.charliekirk.com/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You got to stop sending your kids to college.
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Buckle up, everybody.
Here we go.
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Okay, everybody, welcome to the special conversation with my wife, Erica Kirk.
Hi.
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So we're here to answer people's questions about dating.
Right.
It's like ask the Kirks about marriage.
Pursued Pentecostally00:15:19
I don't know if people can handle the truth, though.
So we'll see.
I think they can.
I don't know.
it's tough love right do you want to start off with a softball or do you want to start off with a softball is fine Does your husband ever cook dinner?
Very rarely.
No.
You've cooked once.
I think once.
The man should not be cooking, though.
I understand.
I mean, every now and then it'd be nice, but that's my domain.
I get it.
That's the wife's job.
I think so too.
How do you find real men of God who follow Jesus first and with their whole heart and lives?
You answer that.
Well, first you have to pray to God for him to reveal your future husband to you.
But also, I think you need to be focusing on digging into the word and getting your life together.
Don't you agree?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of women are quite trashy, actually.
And they're looking around for men, and it's like you're dressing.
Well, you're dressing for a different demographic than you're looking for.
Yeah, is what you're meaning.
They don't act with piety or with purity.
And so men want what they can't find or they can't see.
So keep that in mind.
Leave something to the imagination.
Yeah, and just don't act with trash and don't act.
Be classy.
Be a lady.
Yeah, don't act like a feminist.
I'm sorry.
We're supposed to do this and just tell the truth.
We have to tell the truth.
Okay, we have to tell the truth.
We're not going to do Patty K Christian podcast where people are like, it's all going to work.
Go get them.
Like, no, just stop looking like a bum.
Brush your hair.
Yeah, wash your hair, lose some weight.
Brush your teeth.
Eat healthy.
Yeah.
Take your vitamins.
I am considering dating my best friend, but I am afraid to ruin the relationship.
Well, women shouldn't have best male friends.
So does she mean like she's a lesbian?
I don't think she's a lesbian if she's submitting these through my Instagram.
Well, maybe she is.
But women shouldn't have male friends.
Okay.
You're saying in a relationship, a woman shouldn't have a male friend.
Just in general, I think it's really unhealthy.
So if I was single and you were single, you wouldn't be my friend because I'm not allowed to have male friends.
Usually it ends up the man is gay, because all really men want is a relationship.
Like an idea of a man having a female friend, it's all a facade.
So you're saying that obviously the male is friends with you for a reason.
Yeah, he wants to be with you romantically.
Yeah.
But not every male feels that way.
Some males might be like, oh, you're like a sister to me.
That's what they might say.
Put in your head when they say that that means they're gay.
Well, they might have homosexual tendencies.
Yeah.
If they want to be your friend.
I don't, like, real men don't have female friends.
Okay.
They might have acquaintances, like people you know, but like real deep friendship.
You're saying like a super, super best friend.
Yes.
Okay.
That's what she said.
Best friends.
So you're saying.
So either that guy is obviously gay, which women feel comfortable with.
Right.
And gay men enjoy female friends, which is a thing.
That's fine.
Or he's only doing that because he actually wants it to lead to romance.
So should she take the, should she do it?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, but I don't know if, again, I don't know if she's a lesbian or not.
Okay, so if she's not a lesbian, then maybe.
Yeah, of course.
What are you waiting for?
There we go.
There we go.
Okay.
How to start a new relationship in a godly way as a teen girl.
I don't think you should have, I don't think you should be focusing on relationships when you're a teen.
Well, definitely save yourself your marriage.
It depends what teen is it?
17, 18?
I don't know.
I was so focused on basketball, like playing in college.
I was not in school.
I was not thinking about.
Teen girl answers are all you.
I don't know.
God bless our daughter.
Okay.
How do you know if you've just know if you just haven't met the right person or if you need personal growth?
That's a good question.
Everyone needs personal growth.
Yeah, that's one of the big problems is that, you know, I get these emails from these 33-year-old cat ladies that are really angry they don't have a man.
It's like, have you spent time getting smarter, getting fitter, growing deeper in the word, becoming more interesting, become funnier, become wiser?
Everyone can grow, men and women.
Right.
And so if you don't have a partner, it's because of you.
It's not because of the world.
And they're like, oh, the men are gone or the world's against me.
You're not trying hard enough, honey.
I'm sorry.
You're just not putting enough commitment into it.
Okay.
So it's you.
It's about personal growth.
It's about showing up, going to church, making yourself available, making yourself as attractive as possible.
Putting yourself in positions of learning.
Yes, making yourself interesting, reading books, listening to podcasts, becoming really aware of current events.
Like really understanding how, you know, you work as a physical being, right?
And you don't.
But I think you should always have personal growth.
Like even if you're, even if you haven't, okay, you haven't met the right person, but even when you do meet the right person, like both of us are really big on constant improvement.
Yeah, if you're not growing, you're dying.
And Tony Robbins talks about this a lot, who I like, who he isn't outspokenly Christian, but he is a Christian.
Right.
Quotes the Bible a lot, which is that if you aren't growing, you're going to be depressed.
One of the main reasons why people are depressed or anxious is they're not growing.
And so you have to set goals for yourself, like physical fitness goals or reading the books or learning a language.
And that literally is actually what triggers dopamine, which is the reward molecule.
Totally.
Or putting yourself in social positions that might make you uncomfortable, like going to a new Bible study.
Yes, yes, exactly.
Or meeting new people.
I mean, and so you have to know what is good for you and then commit yourself to that.
If you think you've already reached your destination at 25, well, then of course you'd be depressed.
And that's why we have so many kids committing suicide and so many kids on drugs is they don't make personal growth a priority for their own life.
I agree.
How to know when you have found the one?
You know.
If you're asking the question, then you don't.
No, it's so true.
If you're asking if that person's the one, then you haven't found the one.
That's right.
I knew.
So did I. You grilled me at Billsburgers.
I did.
And you passed the test.
Oh, man.
That was great.
Okay.
Please talk about missionary dating or thinking you can win someone over to Christ.
Very bad idea.
I think so too.
Do not date to change them.
That's a really bad idea.
It could be different if you're dating them and you're like, oh, we can up your wardrobe.
But if you're trying to like completely change them.
No, baby, you were fine.
You were great.
We just needed to enhance a few things.
Shoes.
There we go.
A little tighter fit of clothes.
No, but you have to have the same worldview of the person you want to marry.
So dating is not a recreation.
So if you're recreationally dating and you're like, oh, I can change you, you're dating for the wrong reason.
Right, because that parlays into another question about interfaith marriage.
Bad idea.
Like Catholic and a Jew was an example.
Do not do that.
Catholic and Protestant can work because the big things are in agreement, but even that at times can be really tough.
Right, because then you're dealing with baptism.
Yeah, I mean, you have to, if you do not agree on heaven, hell, redemption, sin, the scriptures, which Catholics and Protestants largely agree, there's some big disagreements, then you should not marry that person.
You should absolutely break up and find somebody else.
Do not try to change them either.
Because they'll always either fake change.
If it's a true conversion, great, but that's very rare.
Or it's a fake change, or they'll change with resentment.
I was going to say they'll resent and then they'll sidentally resent it.
But then they'll hold it over to you as soon as there's a conflict.
Like, I became a Catholic just for you.
And I don't even believe this stuff.
Right.
And I mean, who's going to educate your kids?
What are you going to teach them?
What prayers are you going to say?
What holidays?
Yeah, what holidays are you going to observe?
Are you going to Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, or Christmas and Easter?
And, you know, which Pentecost are you going to, you know, observe?
The Christian Pentecost or the Judaic Pentecost?
It's a bad idea.
It's a Judaic Pentecost.
It's about the same thing.
It's at the same time.
If Pennant means 50, so it's like 50 days post-Passover is what Pentecost is supposed to be.
Do you agree with women dropping the handkerchief to get in contact with a guy she likes or a guy she would want to pursue?
A guy she would want to pursue her.
I don't know what dropping the handkerchief means.
I guess like my assumption would be like faking a damsel in distress.
Or like you're dropping.
Daisy.
You drop the handkerchief to get attention from the guy.
I guess it's like the.
Oh, Daisy says it's like giving a hint.
Is that a Gen Z thing?
Is that like a heterosexual dropping the soap?
I can't.
I've never heard these terms before.
Are you enjoying this, Daisy?
This is the same thing.
If you're dropping the soap and you're a woman trying to get in contact with a guy, that's not Christian.
But no, I don't, I don't know.
So should women give a hint?
Yeah, they could give hints.
Yeah, they don't have to be aggressive.
But it's the man's job to approach the woman.
Right.
But the woman doesn't have to be aggressive, too, from the standpoint of ultimatums of like, we first, we just met.
I mean, there's something to be said, though, for being saying, I'm intentionally dating you.
I'm not just dating you to date, but you don't know.
Yeah, I mean, but deep down women want to be approached.
Deep down, women want to be led by men.
I totally agree.
We're honored to be partnering with Alan Jackson Ministries.
And today, I want to point you to their podcast.
It's called Culture in Christianity, the Allen Jackson Podcast.
What makes it unique is Pastor Alan's biblical perspective.
He takes the truth from the Bible and applies it to issues we're facing today.
Gender confusion, abortion, immigration, Doge, Trump in the White House, issues in the church.
He doesn't just discuss the problems.
In every episode, he gives practical things we can do to make a difference.
His guests have incredible expertise and powerful testimonies.
They've been great friends.
And now you can hear from Charlie in his own words.
Each episode will make you recognize the power of your faith and how God can use your life to impact our world today.
The Culture and Christianity podcast is informative and encouraging.
You could find it on YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes.
Alan Jackson Ministries is working hard to bring biblical truth back into our culture.
You can find out more about Pastor Allen and the ministry at alanjackson.com forward slash Charlie.
I have never, there's a few questions in here.
I have never been pursued for the right reasons.
I worry about my future husband's free will.
Will he not choose me?
How does God work with women not being pursued and therefore his image of Christ in church?
Christian women are waiting and how about how a lot of us are not being pursued.
I think she's just basically saying why Christian women aren't being pursued.
Well, if she's been pursued for the wrong reasons, and I don't want to assume too much, she's probably been preyed on for her physical beauty and not for what she considers to be, you know, her spirituality.
So she has to be more pious in how she presents herself.
I'm making a lot of assumptions here, if that's the case, right?
For example, very few women say, you know what?
The guy only cares about my sense of humor and doesn't care about my body.
Like, that's not exactly a thing.
So the subtext of her question.
He loves my eyebrows.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like he only cares about, you know, my writing skills and he won't care about, you know, my fitness.
So she's implying that men pursue her only for physical reasons.
So then she has to be more pious in how she presents herself, how she dresses.
Then she said something, why aren't Christian women being approached?
Approached or pursued?
Because a lot of men are weak versions of their former selves.
They're basically metrosexuals, you know, skinny jeans and basically very cowardly women-looking men.
I feel like, though, too, women have a tendency, the older that you get as a woman not married, you're more aggressive and a little bit more hardened.
Right.
So when a guy pursues you or tries to approach you, and if they don't do it the right way, you immediately like snap.
Yeah, that's right.
And they feel entitled to a man.
There's a lot of entitlement for, because I mean, think about it.
If you're a late 20, early 30-something cat lady, you probably have a lot of corporate success.
You probably got really good grades in college, right?
Yeah.
You probably are really well respected amongst your family for like socioeconomic.
You probably are not in a lot of debt.
And so this understandably creates a lot of frustration because they have a good credit score, right?
They have a lot of friends.
They can go on nice trips to Bellize, but the one thing they can't figure out is why won't a man love me?
Right.
Which is sad.
Well, it's sad, but they have a great credit score, but they don't have a man because they might have prioritized it upside down.
And the not-so-hidden secret is your prime as a lady is 20 to 25.
Right.
So be careful squandering that just on corporate success and good grades in college.
Well, if you take care of yourself, your prime kind of extends a little, but no, it does, but a lot of ladies lose that.
And then I know what you mean.
They need to hear that, though.
Like, there's a 21-year-old probably listening to this being like, oh, I can go get good grades at Stanford, fool around, sleep around, and then a man will love me when I'm 32 or 33.
It's a risk.
And your egg production goes down.
And, you know, it's a fact of life.
Men in their 30s reach more of a dating prime, and young ladies do not.
Young women do not.
We were talking about that the other day about how an older guy would not, yeah, he did not want to date a 30-year-old.
We both know a Christian, eligible bachelor, tall, you know, charismatic, whatever, all that stuff.
Checks the boxes, but will not date someone who is like between 30, 35.
And has to be between 20, he said it was like 24 to 27.
Yeah, and I don't think he's being totally fair, but then on the flip side, I get why he believes a girl doesn't want to date that guy.
No, no, we know girls, we know young ladies that don't want to date older men, but that will change.
I mean, the thing about older men is they're usually financially stable.
They're established in career, and like a 23-year-old, 24-year-old, that's too big of an age gap.
I think a decade is too long of an age gap.
I think five to seven years is fine.
But a decade, you're in total, you're in different generations, you have different slangs.
I totally agree.
You have different TV shows.
Yeah.
So.
We love Frasier.
Frasier is amazing.
He's the best.
That's not even within our age range.
Okay.
Adversity Makes Relationships Stronger00:04:07
Advice for learning to submit to your man if you naturally take charge and are a leader.
So I think there's a difference between being an alpha female within the sphere that you operate in from like work standpoint, friendship circles, all of that.
But when it comes to your husband, you are always, he is your alpha.
You are always to submit to your husband and not in a way of slave versus master, but in a helpmate way because you and your husband are one.
Yeah, the reason she's asking this question is her husband's not leaving well.
So he's leaving the pants on the ground and she's picking them up and putting them on.
And so if a wife ever even asks this question, it's 100% the man's fault.
For not taking charge.
Because no woman who's being led well be like, I have real trouble submitting or trouble.
It just means that he's probably a drunk or he's watching pornography or I'm not saying he is doing these things.
No, but typically this is the behavioral pattern we see is when young moms or women are like, I am a go-getter.
That's fine.
But if you even have that kind of thought process, that means that your husband is not doing his job.
Right.
Because I never have that issue with you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks for leading us so well, babe.
Okay, how to date for marriage and how to best communicate that to the potential man.
First date.
Tell him I want to marry you.
Just be like, I'm not here to play around.
No, I know.
Date with intention.
Yeah, this is not, if this is just fun or a hobby, we're done.
Totally.
But the women, the woman has to say that.
See, women have this built-in fear of rejection and it makes them do weird things.
So women have to be okay with being rejected early.
But I think, and I was, we were talking about this to some extent.
I think you need to have all of the spheres of your life kind of built out too.
So you're not just so heavily fixated and anxiety driven over just that one small little, I mean, it's a big part of your life.
But if you're so focused on, I need to find a man, I need to find a man, I need to find a man, you're looking at your life from a lack view standpoint versus being like, wow, I have an incredible life.
I have a great family.
I have this.
I have that.
And living from a viewpoint of abundance and then being so absorbed and focused on the amazing things that you're building and you're growing that God will bring up someone alongside you that's not going to distract you from all the amazing things that you have in your life.
I agree.
So you can't even be depressed because the guy's right there.
Okay.
What has kept your relationship alive?
Quality time, constant growth.
Yeah.
And adversity.
Adversity actually can make a relationship stronger.
External adversity.
Our travel schedule, all the people that want to murder us.
Death threats.
Yeah.
Bond wealth.
You know, complacency is the death of anything.
Right.
Right.
So we have a different fear, which is too crazy.
But I think we've done a good job with the Shabbat of dialing that out.
But do you want to talk about that?
Yes.
A lot of people don't.
Well, if you look, it's a great thing for you.
Every single Christian should be honoring the Shabbat.
Not because I think you're commanded, because that's debated, but because it's one of the coolest, most amazing, it is biblical things ever.
God rested on the seventh day of creation.
And so every Friday night, we do the Shabbat dinner and do our version of the Kaddush, which is the Jewish prayer.
And in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
And just Shabbat means stop.
And then what do you do?
I turn my phone off from Friday night to Sunday morning.
I put it right in the kitchen drawer.
I'm untouchable, unreachable.
And so it's just a reminder of a couple things.
Again, everything is what you do with it, but that God created the heavens and the earth, that you didn't create this, that you're just a sole little speck of a member there.
So it should be humbling.
You could pridefully do it too, you know, in anything.
But I think that commandment, which depending on how you detail it, I think it's the third commandment, third or fourth commandment.
Well, no, it's do not take the Lord's name in vain, I think.
Six Days of Creation00:05:47
Depends.
It depends how you break it.
But yeah, it's third or fourth.
It's the only ritual in the Ten Commandments.
And it is for six days you shall work, and for the seventh day you shall rest.
So we're commanded to work for six days, which we do good and do very well, I should say.
And I think it keeps families together.
Totally.
Yeah.
I think also, too, something that's really special is that we always ask each other, we check in with each other constantly throughout the day: how can I make your day better?
How can I help you with this?
How can I serve you with that?
How can I just like constantly being able to see?
I mean, just check in and touch base.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay.
What if he checks all the boxes, but you're not attracted to him?
Well, then you should not marry him.
Well, he obviously didn't check all the boxes.
Well, I mean, yeah, attraction is absolutely so unbelievably important, or else it's just going to be, you might as well just get a sperm donor.
Are you laughing, Daisy?
Okay, well, I mean, obviously, looks fade, so you can't be like super fixated on that.
Is this a woman asking this question?
Yeah.
But women can be attracted to men that are unkept for other reasons.
Okay, but here's the thing: you can't, you can, if he is super smart, but he needs a haircut or he needs to groom himself a little bit better or something, a guy can change a lot between the ages of 20 to 25 or 25 to 30.
Like their face changes a little bit.
Do you know what I mean?
She wouldn't ask this question if there wasn't a major.
And by the way, that's an unusual question for a female because most females don't consider looks to be nearly as important as character or financial stability.
I don't know.
Genetics is a big thing.
Like you're looking, that's your kid might look more like him than you.
Yeah, but very rarely do I hear from women, I'm not attracted to him, but he checks all the other boxes.
That's rare.
That's a very visually stimulated female, which is usually a male characteristic.
So are you saying she's a lesbian?
Just kidding.
Why are we getting so many lesbian submissions?
It could be.
I don't know.
We're getting trolled.
We're honored to be partnering with Alan Jackson Ministries.
And today, I want to point you to their podcast.
It's called Culture in Christianity: the Allen Jackson Podcast.
What makes it unique is Pastor Allen's biblical perspective.
He takes the truth from the Bible and applies it to issues we're facing today: gender confusion, abortion, immigration, Doge, Trump in the White House, issues in the church.
He doesn't just discuss the problems.
In every episode, he gives practical things we can do to make a difference.
His guests have incredible expertise and powerful testimonies.
They've been great friends.
And now you can hear from Charlie in his own words.
Each episode will make you recognize the power of your faith and how God can use your life to impact our world today.
The Culture and Christianity podcast is informative and encouraging.
You could find it on YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes.
Alan Jackson Ministries is working hard to bring biblical truth back into our culture.
You can find out more about Pastor Allen and the ministry at alanjackson.com forward slash Charlie.
Okay, how do you cope with feeling that God does not hear your prayers regarding relationships?
I feel like God always hears your prayers.
It's just he's answering them in a way that you might not like.
Yeah, that's exactly how I would have answered it.
That's exactly right.
He hears all prayers, but there's a lot of pride in that question, respectfully, that you are so important, that God is your celestial butler to ask for all your questions, ask for all your stuff.
God is the lamp.
Yeah, God is not the room service phone at the hotel.
At the four seasons.
Yeah, I want a burger.
I want a milkshake.
That's not God.
It's not the way it works.
So she has an unbiblical view of God.
Prayer is a petition to the divine out of obedience and gratitude and piety and service and duty.
You don't go to God.
And God, I also want the Corvette.
It's not your Amazon shopping cart.
No, literally.
But he also, he hears your prayers, but also too, if you feel like he's not quote-unquote delivering you, you're human in time, I feel like it's also because you still have a lot of growth to do yourself.
He's still trying to prune from your life maybe a past relationship, or maybe he's trying to get something out of your life that you're holding on to.
He's trying to make you more obedient to do things you're not doing.
Right.
Like maybe you shouldn't.
Stop watching a TV show or go to club or stop drinking alcohol or stop hanging out with your friends.
Yes.
Well, your friends.
There's a great song.
I think it's by Toby Keith, Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.
It's true.
If you think every prayer you're giving, you know exactly how it's going to end up.
That's a very arrogant, prideful way of looking at the sovereignty of God.
Well, and too, that means you don't understand how beautiful God's will is.
That's right.
Because God's will will always be way better than anything you could have ever been.
Yeah, and this person's question is: she's obviously in pain.
So I would just have her change her opinion.
And instead, she should have, instead of why is God not answering my prayer, what am I not yet doing to find my future mate?
To get to the place where only God can open the door.
I believe God meets us halfway.
Yeah.
And you know what I would recommend her doing too is instead of in her mind thinking God's not answering her prayers, she should look back in her life and write down the things that God saved her from, that she thought that she wanted and write and meditate and pray on the things that God saved you from that you thought you needed.
Okay, next question.
God Meets Us Halfway00:11:30
Should a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law honor the parents of the partner?
Yes.
Because it's your marriage.
You're now one.
Well, no, just practically, it makes life a lot easier.
100%.
No, totally.
I'm very blessed.
We have the best in law.
I have the best-in-laws ever.
We have a great family.
She's the best.
Yeah, we have a great unit.
Yes, great family all together.
I say absolutely.
You are one, but it makes your spouse's life infinitely easier.
Well, and two, their parents are like your parents, I'm grateful for because they brought you into the world.
Yes, and they raised me.
They taught you how to use a spoon and a fork and everything else.
The answer is 100% yes.
Okay, where to meet single conservative Christian men in their 30s?
You know where?
AmFest.
Yeah, Amfest.com.
That's right.
You can go to A-M-F-E-S-T.com, but also church.
Their church.
Their pastor.
Yeah, just the pastor's wife.
Most pastor's wives operate as like Christian mingle.
So with that said, though, some churches, when they know that you're single, it's the most awkward because you're in a group.
Let's say you're in a youth, not a youth group, but a younger group, and everyone knows you're single.
And then it's like, if someone starts flirting with you, then another guy's like, oh, that guy's flirting with her.
I'm going to not touch her.
Yeah.
I mean, you know what I mean?
My experience is whether it be uncles, aunts, cousins, if you really want to get married and you're in your 30s and you feel like your biological clock is ticking, which obviously you do as a female, then you need to kind of be a little aggressive, which is not a female characteristic naturally.
Right.
And text everyone and say, I'm looking for a mate.
Can you set, and you're going to probably have some pretty awful dates.
I'm just being honest.
Like, that's what, once you get into your 30s and you're unmarried, I hope every 20-something woman hears me.
You get in a little desperation mode.
But then it also, too, you have to be careful from the standpoint of your CVS list receipt of non-negotiables is going to have to get to be like 10.
Be chopped a little bit.
Or like four.
Yeah.
Or two.
You're going to have to have like an Einstein.
Yeah, I know a young lady texted you recently.
She's like, I want this and I want this and I want this and I want that.
I was like, geez, are you like customizing literally?
Like, and I want the, you know, the heated seats and I want the four-wheel drive and satellite radio.
Spinning rims.
I was like, wow, that's even still a thing.
It's a very narrow path.
Should you just get married if you don't feel peace about it yet?
No, absolutely not.
I totally agree.
Marriage is not just a funny thing.
No, absolutely not.
You need to find a pastor to help sort that out.
See, that's the thing, though, is that I don't think the weight of marriage, I don't know if it's as good.
It's better to not marry than marry wrongly.
I completely agree.
And I'm a huge fan of marriage, but if you have any sort of lack of shalom, then you need to find a pastor and figure that out.
It's either on you or it's on them.
And then if you need to have the intellectual and spiritual courage to admit maybe it's you.
Yeah.
Commitment issues, your father left you, stuff like that.
We only have a few more minutes.
We have five more minutes.
Okay.
Does equally yoked mean commitment to Jesus or theological knowledge?
I don't know.
You have to ask a pastor that.
I don't know.
Well, probably both.
I mean, I would say it would have to do somewhat with both.
I don't want to speak out of turn theological.
No, that's true.
There's some people that feel as though as long as they say Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, that means we're equally yoked.
But then there might be some theological things where they might have the same worldview.
And so the Catholic Protestant thing can work, but it's still risky.
But you need to believe in the inerrancy of scripture.
If you both believe in that, Jesus is the king of the world, Nicene Creed.
If you don't believe in that, then you're not equally yoked.
Right.
It's not fair because, I mean, if your husband's a theologian, you're not going to know as much as he does, right?
So that's not exactly a fair question.
So I don't think so.
Okay.
So then a lot of these questions, just to skim through, is like 33 and single, no prospects, any advice, or heading into 30s plus and single, hitting the deadline, but still being single and feeling the pressure of that.
I don't mean to speak down to these people.
And we're going to get so many hateful emails.
I don't care.
It's like someone needs to tell you that you have to focus on your personal growth, your walk with Christ, right?
Do not blame others.
Because guess why?
For no other reason, then that's very unattractive to other men.
A man has a certain, you know, men are not necessarily atmospherically very aware of things, but men can sense bitterness in a woman like immediately.
And it's very unattractive.
Right.
So a 33-year-old single male.
Oh, male's got plenty of time.
He'll figure it out.
No, I understand, but is when a 33-year-old single man meets a 33-year-old single woman, the tension there.
Yeah, the man is probably financially stable, just beginning to look for his options.
And the woman is like, I only have 30 seconds left on the clock.
No, and that really does suck for the woman.
It does suck, but it's, I'm just reiterating the culture lied to her.
And so I hope she's able to find her mate.
No, I understand.
Because she's put career and stuff first, but they, but they, it was almost like also to what if their parents were like, you have to find a job and go and do this and go to college.
And these boomer parents have created really anxious 33-year-old women.
No, I could not agree more.
And these boomer parents were like, well, I'm glad you didn't get married at 23.
Are you?
No, but that's exactly what I'm saying.
You don't have grandma.
That is exactly right because they said you need to go to the Ivy League school.
You need to get the top job.
Work your way up through Google.
And then get on the pill.
We don't want you to get pregnant when you're 19.
Well, obviously you don't want to agree with that.
Or even 26 or 27.
Don't even start seriously dating.
Right.
And then now the parent is.
They're like, where are your grandkids?
And then it creates a lot of acrimony in the family.
So, I mean, my heart goes out for these women that are in their 30s.
I don't have easy answers for you, though, because I don't lie.
I don't mislead people.
No, but okay.
So let's create, but because we're closing out, let's create kind of a checklist, if you will.
Because a lot of these questions were submitted by women who are still single looking for the guy.
Yeah.
What's take care of yourself?
So, okay, what about this?
Take care of yourself from the inside, meaning spiritually nourish yourself.
Correct.
But also, too, take your vitamins.
Yeah.
Don't drink.
Do not take some time off drinking.
That's a great idea.
So if you are looking for a man, literally alcohol is a toxin.
It ages you.
Right.
So, like, if you are looking for a man, zero alcohol, zero drugs.
Why don't you make a commitment to yourself to stop drinking?
That's a big one.
Until you find.
Why does everyone drink?
I totally agree.
You and I are the same.
So stop drinking.
Stop smoking or doing, you know.
I would hope so.
That would.
Yeah.
I mean, this goes to my point.
If you're 33 and you're telling us you can't find someone and you're doing a marble a pack a day.
Or rolling blunts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're not exactly making the case.
Right.
But I doubt your listeners are like that.
But yes.
Well, I don't know.
You just told me I had two lesbians that are submitting questions.
I said, what woman?
Riley, we're going to have to come through this.
What woman has a best friend that's a man?
Like, that's very strange.
Okay.
Well, so taking care of yourself, vitamins, eating healthy, comb your hair, like shower.
Yeah, and I would even go as far to say, like, embrace every trick in the naturopathic world to like fight aging.
100%.
Working out.
Nuclear vitamins.
Saunas, cold tubs, tanning, vitamin D levels.
Get your hormones balanced.
Right.
Like you can, you can extend that clock a little bit further than even some people.
You don't have to surrender to it.
Like, don't eat carbohydrates.
Don't eat refined sugars.
That's another thing that's really interesting.
It's super, it's kind of superficial.
But if a girl has her nails done and is like well presented, you know, that's a thing.
Yeah, and then have a, I mean, I don't know the wardrobe thing as well as you do, obviously.
Dress classy.
Dress classy.
And so you have to do everything possible, yes.
Right.
Carry yourself knowing that you have self-worth.
You have to go into environments that might make you uncomfortable to find a future match.
And, you know, Dennis.
And when you go there, don't be rude and pompous when you meet the man.
That's the other thing, is that you have to basically surrender to God.
I mean, surrender is the only way.
Otherwise, the anxiety will absolutely kill you.
I see it happen.
You don't have to immediately go to dinner.
You can grab coffee.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, again, nothing will be more unattractive for an eligible bachelor man than desperation.
Well, okay, so in New York City, it would be like a thing where a guy would come in and be like, okay, so I have drinks with Bethany at six, and then I have dinner with, give me another girl's name.
Cindy.
Cindy at 7:30.
And then whatever, they have a nightcap with what's another name?
Rolanda.
Okay.
These are real names.
Rolanda.
That reminds me of that thing we watched the other day.
Huh?
The sweet tea thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyways, so guys, sometimes there are some guys like in New York City that stack their schedule like that because they're just.
Here's the thing.
People are going to email us.
They say it's not fair.
You're right.
It's not fair.
The game is rigged for men right now in that way.
Men have a longer clock.
It's harder to find a man.
In Arizona, there's like three times the amount of single women than a single woman.
Unbelievable.
Yeah.
So it's just, that's why I got so many lesbians, right?
Because they want to find somebody.
They're all my followers, apparently.
No, it's just, it's just the way it is.
Okay.
So then to close out that list, because we got to go, you're healthy, putting yourself in uncomfortable positions that are going to be productive towards personal growth.
And then I think too.
Spiritually nourish yourself.
Yeah, and like be so just ingrained with the word and have the word so imprinted on your heart that it will literally take God saying that's him and you'll know.
Amen.
And you'll know.
That's where piety comes in.
And he'll treat you so well.
And it doesn't matter if you're in LA.
It doesn't matter if you're in New York City.
I was in New York City and I found you.
That's right.
Well, you weren't from New York City.
You kind of plopped in to Bill's Burgers.
Everyone, check out Proclaim Streetwear.
If we offended you, maybe you needed to hear it.
It was tough luck from the middle.
Maybe it was a problem.
Yeah, it all comes in love.
Tough luck from the curve.
Again, we don't do happy talk.
I can't stand these Christian podcasts.
Sit around and God will deliver you your future mate and keep eating krispy creams.
Bunch of nonsense.
Okay.
Like improve yourself out of obedience and duty to the divine.
And check out Proclaim Streetwear and buy your shirt.