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June 12, 2015 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
28:32
Male Privilege as Experienced by Women
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You know, I have seen some phenomenal bullshit in my time, but very little compares to some of the crap that comes out of BuzzFeed.
In particular, this article.
25 examples of male privilege from a trans guy's perspective.
A short list of the everyday ways people have changed their behaviour towards me for no logical reason whatsoever.
Via everyday feminism.
Oh, I'm not sensing any confirmation bias in this article.
It's not like this isn't going to tell the feminists everything they fucking want to hear.
Let's get started.
Quite a bit changed for me over the first couple of years I started testosterone.
My health and mental well-being improved.
My happy button, clitoris, grew over an inch in length.
Wow.
Okay, so you've got, what, a two inch long clitoris now?
Does that count as a penis?
I'm not sure how these things work.
My natural musk became so fragrant that now I gross even myself out if I don't shower pretty much every day.
No deodorant can contain this beast.
Yes, men have to shower every day or else they smell.
So many awesome big deal body changes and mind improvements flourished.
Then there were smaller, odder things.
I finally gained an appreciation for peanut butter and chocolate.
My favourite colour went from blue to green.
My most hated school subject suddenly became a favourite pastime.
Well, if it helps, you still write like you're a woman.
In short, I was being treated better by everyday America because people were reading me as a young white straight male and I recognized my many new privileges that came my way because of it.
It's if this was all true, it makes you wonder why so many other feminists don't just choose to become male.
Alrighty, let's have a look at these privileges.
Number one, I'm suddenly funny.
I've always been dry, sarcastic and satirical with my humour.
In the olden times, I was considered unfunny at best and a bitch at worst.
Now that I'm a short white guy, people automatically peg me for a comedian and laugh at the bulk of my mouth things.
Maybe they're not laughing with you.
Maybe they're laughing at you.
But nothing has changed.
I've even recycled some of my old material that people didn't find funny just to make sure.
Again, maybe they're just laughing at you, not your jokes.
But, you know, I'll let, you know, I'm going to give you the benefit of that.
I'm sure that suddenly you're funny.
Maybe there is a bias against women comedians.
Maybe there is.
I mean, maybe that's why the BBC have put in female quotas for their comedy programmes.
Because, you know, women are really funny.
It's just that everyone's really biased against women.
And so the best way to fix this is to force it on people.
I know that this is in the UK and you're in America, but how different can it really be?
Number two, yet I'm still taken more seriously.
I'm amazed at the amount of people that now immediately shut their mouths the second I open mine.
Believe me, my ideas haven't improved at all.
I believe you.
I've even tried to derail serious conversations with ludicrous stuff just to see what would happen and I'd still be regarded highly.
I don't believe you, because I know from seeing it that short men aren't really taken all that seriously.
In fact, most of them are heavily bullied in school.
And we end up with something that's called short man syndrome that scientists have actually found really does exist.
So I think you're talking shit.
Number three, I rarely get interrupted.
I used to be interrupted so often while presenting as a woman that I in turn started to talk over people as a form of conversational survival.
I believe you.
I totally believe that's the case.
And it's not just a bad excuse for interrupting people constantly.
But you know what?
I'm sure this doesn't happen at all now.
Whenever the short guy is about to speak, everyone's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, the short guy's about to speak.
Let's all be quiet and listen.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of the way this sort of dynamic goes, but let's be honest with ourselves for a second, shall we?
Number four, I get paid more.
The proof is in my paychecks.
Actual numerical proof.
Wow.
I can't believe you expect everyone to believe this This is are you saying that one day you were like, oh hey boss I need tomorrow off because I'm gonna go get my sex change into a man And your boss was like, oh, oh, really?
Okay, what I'll do is I'll get your pay increased as well then.
And you're like, oh, thanks.
You came in after the operation and your boss's like, yeah, you've got 23% extra pay now.
Just because of your two-inch dick.
And you know, I don't know whether you've been paying attention, but young women are actually out-earning young men now.
So not only are you obviously talking shit, but you've also probably screwed yourself out of future earnings.
But hey, money isn't everything, is it?
You know, peace of mind is much more important.
Number five, it's easier for me to be poor.
Aside from usually getting paid more, sorry, we've established that that's not the case.
It's been easier to find work when the person doing the hiring is a white guy.
It's like helping out a buddy or something.
Hang on, hang on.
Is this how women work?
Because I'm telling you now, this is certainly not how men work.
So I don't know where you're getting this impression from.
I can only imagine that this is projection.
But you know what?
I really hope that what you're saying is true because if you're a man, you are in fact far more likely to be exceedingly impoverished and in fact homeless.
So I really hope there is some kind of buddy system for white men because there clearly is already one for women.
Number six, my clothing is more practical and better made and longer lasting and cheaper and less judged.
What was stopping you as a woman from wearing jeans and t-shirt?
Nothing.
Oh, well there we go then.
Number seven, I get a ton of free passes.
Oh, oh do go on.
For the record, I've never done anything horrific enough to invoke the all-saving phrase of boys will be boys.
Are you saying you've never raped anyone with your two inch penis?
Because I tell you, you get to the courtroom and the judge is like, excuse me, did you rape that woman?
You just shrug your shoulders, give the judge a little smile and go, yeah, but boys will be boys.
And the judge is like, ah, get out of here, you joker.
Believe it or not, you fucking lunatic.
The phrase boys will be boys is only an excuse that's valid when a child has, say, broken something while they were running around the house or scuffed their knee or got into a fight with a school friend or something like that.
It is not a phrase that saves people from having done something quote horrific.
You fucking idiot.
But you say that while I was getting into tons of trouble for the smallest thing through school in my earliest jobs, these days I can't recall a single time that I've been called out or reprimanded.
Well, okay, for a start, when you're a kid, when you were young, maybe you were just doing lots of things that were wrong, and now that you're older, you're not.
But secondly, bullshit.
Do you want to know who actually gets let off after doing things that could be considered horrific?
That's right.
Women.
Women get a fucking free pass, you psycho.
Whether it's domestic violence or sexual abuse, women are getting much more lenient treatment by design.
And if by some miracle a woman is sentenced to jail, a man who has committed the same crime will get a sentence that is 63% longer.
So I really hope that transitioning into a short man with a two-inch penis is going to pay off for you.
I really do.
Number eight, I'm not held accountable for keeping rape from happening.
I remember all of the rape prevention education I got, which always focused on how I should behave, where I should walk when, how to appropriately cover my drink, and so on.
These days I'm told nothing, not even not to rape.
Um, objection.
You're implying here that men don't get raped, but they do, so what you're saying is in fact a bad thing.
But not only that, but not only that, teach men not to rape is a phrase shrieked so incessantly by hyperactive feminists that other women are writing articles saying, look, can we just turn off the outrage machine, please?
Because ultimately, men who rape already know it's bad.
The problem is that some people will commit crimes even though they know it's against the law.
I know, I know, it's crazy, but it's been happening since time immemorial, and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon.
Bafflingly though, universities are still adopting mandatory consent courses, as if this is going to fix the fucking problem.
Because modern universities appear to be staffed exclusively by imbeciles and attended exclusively by cretins.
Number nine, I'm very likely to arrive home safely after walking alone at night.
Well, so are women.
They're very likely to arrive home safely.
Assuming nobody is out looking to fag bash, okay, well stop you there.
That implies that people don't know you're a fucking man, or at least are aware that you're not a standard heterosexual cisgendered man.
But it remains that I walk alone at night far more than I used to purely because I'm a dude.
I put up my hoodie and people have even been known to cross the sidewalk to avoid passing me.
You know what's funny about this is that the statistics are not in your favour.
Again, in the UK outside the home, men make up over two-thirds of murder victims.
And in the US, this number is even higher with men making up 77% of homicide victims.
Seriously, you're a fucking idiot.
You're more likely to be killed now that you have become a man.
Well done.
Number 10.
I don't have to worry about keeping an eye on my drink at parties.
Unless it's at a gay venue.
God, you're just constantly gay bashing, aren't you?
Where there seem to be some questionable creepy chicken hawks around, drink safety doesn't even cross my mind anymore.
Well, that doesn't mean it shouldn't cross your mind anymore, because it's not like men have never fallen prey to date rape drug gangs or anything.
Although, admittedly, this does happen in gay venues a lot more often than it happens in straight venues, to men at least.
Number 11.
I'm not told by strangers or anyone else to smile.
Not once has it happened since.
Not once.
Well, you know what?
Good for you.
This is the one area so far that you've mentioned that men have got a categoric advantage.
No one tells me to smile either.
I've never seen another man tell another man not to smile.
That's not true, actually.
I have seen that.
Okay, I've got nothing.
I'll just give it.
You know what?
We'll pretend that nobody has ever said that to a man.
No man has ever said that to a man in jest or anything like that.
Because, you know, it'll make you feel better, I'm sure.
Number 12.
I don't have strangers giving uninvited opinions about my body as I pass by.
Or then expecting me to thank them for it.
Again, not once has this happened in the usual everyday world.
Well, how about this?
Try getting fat.
See if it happens then.
Number 13.
I'm allowed to have body hair.
Enough said.
Well, if only there was a social movement that was petitioning for women to not be ashamed of having body hair.
Can't think of what movement that'd be, though.
Just, if only, if only.
Number 14.
I'm allowed to grow old.
I think that's mandatory.
And likely will even be considered handsome or sophisticated because of it.
You know, I think that this is really one of those things, isn't it?
That, I guess, is the real difference between men and women.
I mean, men don't have this kind of innate beauty that the world scrambles for when they're young.
And they do grow in grace and gravitas as they grow older because they can't rely on their looks.
Or at least most of them can't rely on their looks to get by.
So they have to cultivate personality skills, charisma, charm, all these other sort of things that, well, a lot of women didn't have to cultivate because they had natural beauty.
And that leads to situations where you get people like Kirsten Scott's Thomas at 53 saying, well, men grow in gravitas while women just disappear.
Well, well, I mean, that's not always true, but gravitas is something you work on.
It's something that you gain as you gain skills and experience.
It's not just handed to you.
And if you didn't cultivate it yourself, then you won't have it.
And when the good looks that made your career disappear, then you may well find yourself standing in a room full of younger, more attractive women wondering why people aren't paying attention to you.
Number 15.
I'm allowed to eat without being policed.
I'm actually still really damn skinny.
Hey, that's fat shaming.
But people no longer do things like judge me about what I'm eating or ask if I should be eating at all.
Why would people say this to a really skinny person of either gender?
But okay, let's presume they do.
This is again another one that I'll give you.
Yes, it is better for a man because no one is concerned about a man getting fat.
No one cares.
Number 16.
My abilities speak louder than my appearances at work.
Hey, this really harks back to number 14, doesn't it?
When I work on-site gigs, I tend to just wear jeans and a t-shirt.
Nobody cares.
It's all about the quality of my work.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
It is a very rare and exceptionally good-looking man who can coast by in life on his looks.
It really is.
Unlike with merely a reasonably attractive woman, men have to validate themselves by the quality of their work in every sphere they are in.
Number 17.
The bulk of porn is made with me in mind.
Well, duh, that's how the free market works.
If women were the primary consumers of porn, then most porn would be made with women in mind.
But even lesbian porn is often geared towards the male gaze.
Again, if lesbians were the primary consumer of lesbian porn.
Number 18.
Older white guys treat me like a best friend, especially when I have to wear professional slacks and a tie.
I've been amazed at how many strangers happily strike up conversation with me in this kind of fatherly way.
Their smiles are warm, their eyes are bright, and they seem eager to bestow any wisdom upon me that I could ever think to ask.
It's like I'm automatically their patriarchal protégé or something.
Now, I found this really baffling the first time I read it.
I thought, what?
This is not a universal male experience.
Older men don't try and talk to me as if they're my father or anything.
But then it occurred to me that I don't need them to, and they can probably tell that.
And then it occurred to me that they're probably taking pity on our short, skinny, transsexual man.
Because honestly, this person is probably, if there is male privilege, I very much doubt this person is actually benefiting from it at all.
Apart from being transgendered, this person could be describing this guy, and listen to what he has to say.
So why do I, a dude, need feminism, right?
I stand to benefit a lot from the current power structures of the genders, right?
A lot.
And these are my selfish reasons for needing feminism.
I need feminism because in a world governed by the current gender roles applied to men and women, I would not be very successful at that.
If all of a sudden I found myself time-traveled back into the 1950s, being married with two kids, having to provide for the family, having to make all the decisions completely for everyone in the house, oh god, I would not do well at that at all.
I'm shy, I'm passive, I'm definitely not good at making decisions for other people.
That would be bad news bears.
The family would fall the freak apart.
Bad news bears indeed.
My point is that being male is not enough to be a man.
And frankly, being small, skinny, and effeminate probably isn't helping you on the road to being a man either.
So I suspect that these older men help you in a rather fatherly way out of the kindness of their heart because they're looking at you and thinking that you're probably failing at being a man and I guess they want to help.
Number 19.
I can be a gamer without worry of being threatened, insulting or demeaned.
The gaming industry is still very much a man's world.
Female characters are frequently sexualized, brutalized, and demeaned when they're represented at all, right along with the female gamers themselves.
Well.
It turns out that men are harassed more than women online, including in games, so you've got that to look forward to.
And since you're no longer a woman, you're going to have to pretend to be a woman in online games if you want to continue receiving all that free loot.
Number 20.
My comfort comes before anyone else's.
Nobody expects me to sacrifice a thing for them anymore.
Are you fucking kidding?
A, you're not married, clearly.
And B, you're not on a sinking ship.
So, yes.
We're going to go on to the next one.
21.
I have significantly less sexual liability.
I can now have as much sex with as many people as I want and nobody says boo about it.
Well, you know, if you get your average woman into bed and you flop out your two-incher, you're not gonna be getting as much sex as you think.
And also, you don't know what child support and alimony is, do you?
Not, of course, that you're ever going to actually have to pay child support.
22.
I'm allowed to take up space and lots of it.
If I feel like spreading out on public transportation, nobody, regardless of gender, tells me to move over anymore.
They just act like I have the full right to be obnoxious.
Please note that I've only ever done this for experimental purposes.
Well, I have to tell you that the police will do something about this.
You will in fact be arrested.
You fucking liar.
23.
I'm not subjected to soft sexism.
Being asked to grab someone their coffee or help decorate a work party or help clean up said party is simply a thing of the past.
You know what, that might be true.
Let's assume that none of these things have ever happened to any man anywhere nor will ever happen.
But let's have a look at the things that, statistically speaking, very often happen to men.
So 97% of combat fatalities, yeah, that's bad.
97% of phalimony, that's bad, but you'll probably be alright in both of those.
94% of work suicides, well, maybe.
I wouldn't rule that out.
93% of work fatalities, hey, that's definitely something that's a risk for you now.
81% of all war deaths?
Probably not, let's be fair.
Custody and 84% of divorces?
Probably not going to be your problem.
80% of all suicides are men.
Well, you are now in that category.
77% of all homicides victims are men.
Again, you're in that category.
89% of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime.
Just you wait.
Men are over twice as victimized by strangers as women.
Men are 165% more likely to be convicted than women, yep.
Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same crime.
Court bias against men is at least six times bigger than racial bias.
Ooh.
Males are discriminated against in school and university.
That's true.
Boys face vastly more corporal punishment than girls, yeah.
60 to 80% of the homeless are men, yep, that's true.
Women's cancers receive 15 times more funding than men's, so, you know, let's hope you don't get cancer, or at least cancer doesn't recognise your transition.
At least 10% of fathers are victims of paternity fraud.
Hey, that's probably not going to be your problem.
And one-third of all fathers in the USA have lost custody of children, and most are expected to pay for this.
Well, again, that's probably not your problem either.
So, you know, I mean, there are some things in this list of, you know, hard sexisms, not soft sexisms, that don't apply to you.
So that's okay.
That's just fine.
Number 24.
People think my successes have been made purely by my own gunchin.
Okay, I'm not even going to read the rest.
Do you know why that is?
I can tell you why that is.
There is not a straight white male quota anywhere.
Nobody is desperate to get straight white males into positions of wherever.
Any straight white male that is in any kind of position of authority or power or success has earned it.
There's fucking no other way for straight white men, which is why they all have so much fucking gravitas when they're older.
Believe it or not, this is actually a privilege, even though it's kind of a privilege in disguise, because you would think that all of these other people being given a leg up their whole lives is the privilege in itself, but it's not.
That's actually a drawback.
It doesn't teach them anything.
It doesn't make them better people.
It doesn't make them more skilled.
It doesn't make them more resilient.
Whereas straight white men, they've got to take the knocks, they've got to take the failures and disappointments and overcome them.
Read the poem If by Rudyard Kipling if you want to know what it's like to be a man.
And number 25, I can say the most ridiculous things imaginable and people will still think I'm right.
Seriously, I've tested this.
I wonder who the people you're talking to are.
Because I found, running my YouTube channel, if I say something wrong or stupid, the last thing that happens is people go, you know what?
It's fine.
He's a white male, so we'll take him at his word.
They call me a fucking idiot.
And you know why?
Because I've been a fucking idiot and I deserve it.
And so finally they say, I would go on, but you know, space issues.
Well, almost none of the things that you've said have actually been male privileges.
But the above examples poured out of me just about as fast as I could type them.
Yes, because you have indoctrinated yourself with this feminist bullshit.
And these are all the biases that you are trying to confirm.
These are all feminist talking points that you're like, oh yeah, this was true, this was true.
I'm just sure all of these things are true, even though, let's be fair, you've probably misinterpreted a lot of the things that have happened or frankly fucking fictionalized them out of whole cloth to suit your agenda.
Having been treated as both a man and a woman, stop you that.
I don't think you have actually been treated as a man.
I think you have been treated as a transgender woman.
These privileges are glaringly obvious to me.
There are far, far too many to count.
Okay, well, you know what?
I'm a man, but I don't want you to take my word for that.
I don't want you to take my lived experiences as being representative of a man's lived experiences.
Let's ask another woman who has lived convincingly as a man and convinced other men that she is also male, shall we?
What Nora went through, or more accurately, what she became in the last two years, was a man.
Yeah, a little bit shorter on the top.
Okay.
No, Nora didn't get a sex change operation.
She did it the old-fashioned way with acting and a disguise.
At 5'10, 155 pounds, and wearing men's size 11 shoes, Nora was a natural.
So not only does Nora have the physical stature to be able to impersonate a man accurately, she went through a great deal of actual training and makeup artistry to look the part.
Growing up in the Midwest with her actress mother, lawyer father, and two older brothers, Nora was a tomboy with a flair for the dramatic.
She says she's still a tomboy and in fact is a lesbian living in Midtown Manhattan with her partner Lisa.
I think we can work with this.
Her transformation into the guy she calls Ned begins with a buzz cut, baggy man's clothes, and a two small sports bra to flatten her breasts.
She even wore a little padding in a jock strap.
I also try to think, well, what kind of guy is Ned and gets it?
For the rest, she enlisted the help of makeup artist Ryan McWilliams.
She just came to me and said, Ryan, I need to turn into a man.
The hair is small as we can make it, right?
And so they came up with a method of shredding braided wool into whisker-sized bits and gluing it onto her face.
Women have much stronger nasal resonances as well.
And then there's the theatrical component.
Ah, so just easy.
Tarzan out on your chest a little.
Ah, good.
Juilliard voice teacher Kate Murray coached Nora for months on a program of movement, breathing, and speaking.
I want you to be the best man you can be over.
All to incorporate some of the subtle and not so subtle characteristics of being a guy.
Notice what men do.
If they need to suddenly grab a taxi, hey, they just do that.
Whereas women will ask for a taxi instead of demand one.
And after all this preparation and training, Nora did look like a convincing man.
The transformation is complete.
She really does make a relatively convincing man.
You wouldn't look at this person and think that they were a woman, would you?
A bit baby-faced, maybe, but some guys are like that.
The book, Self-Made Man, is out today and is about Nora's 18 months living as Ned.
I wanted to enter male spheres of interest and see how men are with each other.
I wanted to make friends with men.
I wanted to know how male friendships work from the inside out.
I won't play you the whole 18-minute clip, obviously.
The link's in the description.
You'll be able to watch it for yourself.
And it's very, very interesting.
I do recommend that you do.
I'll just skip to her conclusion and what, after being 18 months of being a man, she thought and what she preferred, being a man or being a woman.
Does that kind of living in the skin of a man in the bar scene, in the dating scene, give you a different kind of respect for men?
It gives me a certain definite sympathy.
And I don't mean that there's any disrespect, but it just makes me understand what's going on.
Nora, as Ned, also went on about 30 dates with women, mostly arranging them on the internet.
Did you have any fun?
Rarely.
Rarely.
It was just an idea.
Yeah.
She says the pressure of Ned having to prove himself was grueling.
Nora was surprised that many women had no interest in a soft, vulnerable man.
My prejudice was that the ideal man is a woman in a man's body.
And I learned, no, that's really not.
There are a lot of women out there who really want a manly man.
If there are any feminists watching this, I hope you're paying attention.
Nora displays a remarkable capacity for empathy with the men that she's dealing with.
She really does.
Just watch this.
Nora thought the perfect end to her 18-month saga was to join a men-only therapy group, a place where guys tried to bond and show their emotions instead of hiding them.
They don't get to show the weakness.
They don't get to show the affection, especially with each other.
And so so often all of their emotions are shown in rage.
And they kept talking about their rage, often their rage toward women and what they would do physically and violently towards women.
Right.
A lot of this was blowing off steam.
It's sort of talking about the things that need to be said that you know you would never do.
I mean, you know, they would talk about fantasizing about chopping up their wives or something.
It's not that they would ever do that, but it was a way to get out the blackest thoughts.
See, she's not painting men as monsters, and she's also not painting men as some kind of class of ubermensch who are just sailing through life without a care in the world because the world is geared towards them.
The feminist impression of male privilege is wrong.
And a week later, checked into a hospital with severe depression.
Identity, she concluded, was not something to play around with.
When you mess around with that, you really mess around with something that you need that helps you to function.
And I found out that gender lives in your brain and it's something much more than costume.
And I really learned that the hard way.
I think it's really important to remember she was actually playing a convincing man that other men did not know was not a man.
And she found it rough going.
It wasn't easy.
Nora says she's healed now and glad to be rid of Ned.
But her views about men have changed forever.
Men are suffering.
They have different problems than women have, but they don't have it better.
They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else.
They need to be together.
Do you hear this, feminists?
This is a lesbian woman arguing that men need male-only spaces.
Just so we're clear as to what she's just said.
Do you think women understand what it's like to be a man?
Not at all.
No clue.
No idea.
And there we have it.
Dear feminists, you don't know what it's like to be a man.
You don't know what you're talking about with regard to male privilege.
And this isn't coming from me, a man, who's telling you this.
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