| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Questions For Men
00:10:05
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| So I'm going to answer some of these questions from men that were so popular on Twitter. | |
| I understand they're meant to be rhetorical, but it's so much funnier if you take them literally. | |
| If you happen to go into a technical field, do your colleagues continuously ask if your wife taught you all you know? | |
| Of course not. | |
| My wife didn't go into a technical field, just like the woman asking this question probably didn't. | |
| Have you ever had a woman clearly over 50 say they'd fuck you if you were alone when you were 15 and at lunch with your mum? | |
| That's a strangely specific question, but um I was 13 and she was probably about 45. | |
| Yes, believe it or not, there are old women who are leches as well. | |
| Have you ever read a think piece by a respected female writer? | |
| No. | |
| Oh wait, there's more. | |
| Explaining why and how men aren't funny. | |
| No, men are funny. | |
| Let's say you're married and your wife cheats on you once, just once. | |
| Is that grounds for divorce? | |
| Wow, this seems to be an actual question. | |
| But yeah, keep your legs together you nasty skank. | |
| How often do you have to tell yourself to lean in or stand up for your ideas? | |
| Well, I've got to stand up for my ideas all the time. | |
| What kind of entitlement is it to think that your ideas should go unchallenged? | |
| Do females get pissed off when she asks for your number and you refuse to give it? | |
| Yes, you would not believe how badly women deal with rejection. | |
| I'm guessing it's because they're not rejected all that often. | |
| Being anti-feminism from the facts is just like climate denial. | |
| It's nonsense, not rational, just insecurity. | |
| Well, that's not a question, but are you suggesting that the facts aren't really all that important? | |
| Have you ever lied to a date about where you live or refused to ride home in the car because it didn't feel safe? | |
| Oh yes, you don't know how many women are fucking bunny boilers. | |
| Do you ever pretend to be a girl while gaming online so you don't get bombarded with, oh my god, it's a boy? | |
| I don't think we play the same games love, but um, if I pretend to be a girl online, it's to get free stuff. | |
| Does your doctor regularly ask what form of birth control you're using? | |
| No, because for men there is only one form of birth control. | |
| Kanbans. | |
| In disagreements, do women tell you to calm down and not to be so emotional as a way of shutting down your argument? | |
| No, it's generally the women who are getting hysterical and overly emotional. | |
| Generally, I'm the one who's staying calm. | |
| Is your wife okay with your short hair? | |
| Yes. | |
| Is your wife okay with your short hair? | |
| Daily do you see here about the rape of men broadcast on television shows, news, post campaigns, movies? | |
| Daily. | |
| No, but I don't tend to kind of consume the sort of media that talks about rape a lot. | |
| I don't go to Jezebel.com is what I'm saying. | |
| Have you ever had your ass and genitals roughly fondled without your consent by a stranger in a crowd? | |
| Not both at the same time. | |
| Has anyone ever told you that you're too emotional or not emotional enough? | |
| Yes. | |
| Have you ever been asked, where do you think you're going dressed like that? | |
| Yes, I have. | |
| I prefer to wear jeans and t-shirts, so when I get invited to people's weddings, that question comes up a lot. | |
| Do these pants make my butt look fab? | |
| The answer of course is yes, even if they don't. | |
| Tennis, anyone? | |
| Uh yes. | |
| I don't normally play tennis, but suddenly I'm feeling rather inclined. | |
| If he has lunch with the boss, he's on his way up in the world. | |
| If she has lunch with him, oh my, they're having an affair. | |
| Not really a question, but um, most people aren't gay. | |
| At Project's kickoff meeting, have you ever been asked if you're going to have kids and quit? | |
| There's an awful lot of privilege here. | |
| I've never really had jobs where I'm privileged enough to be at project kickoff meetings. | |
| I've always had jobs where I'm a pleb. | |
| And if I have kids, I simply don't have the option of quitting my job. | |
| In fact, generally it means I'm going to have to do overtime. | |
| I wonder if Questions for Men is going to be a part of This Week in Stupid by Sagan of a Cad. | |
| Nope, it's going to be its own video entirely. | |
| Have you ever had to rearrange your body chemistry for the sake of family planning? | |
| No, I simply do not have that option. | |
| How much do you spend a year in cosmetics, lingerie, magazines, creams, laser and waxing? | |
| Not much, and neither should you. | |
| Do you find topless images of men in newspapers being oogled at by women offensive and uncomfortable? | |
| No, why would I? | |
| If something makes you insecure, shouldn't you like go down to the gym or something, lard ass? | |
| Do your female friends offer to walk you home as it's not safe out there in the dark? | |
| Well, even though I'm more likely to suffer an assault than one of my female friends, they don't. | |
| Honestly though, I don't really see why they would, because frankly, they punch like girls. | |
| Have you ever thought I'm going to date an ugly girl so she's super grateful with me and treat me like gold? | |
| No, because I'm not the kind of person who likes to manipulate others. | |
| Have you ever been harassed and called a bitch for not wanting to have sex and saying no? | |
| No, no, men tend to get called much worse things if they don't want to have sex. | |
| Is it okay for a woman's career aspirations to be limited by the profound fact that she has a uterus? | |
| It is not a profound fact that a woman has a uterus, but it really depends on whether she's planning on using it, because everyone has this limited resource called time. | |
| And children require a lot of time, and careers also require a lot of time. | |
| And since you only have a finite amount of time, it's really up to you with how you use it. | |
| If capitalist patriarchy oppresses feminism, why is feminism most developed and mature in capitalist countries in the world? | |
| That's a good question. | |
| It's almost like the feminists haven't thought this through. | |
| Without an appreciation of gender differences, a woman would just be a short, lumpy, weak-wristed man or no. | |
| She'd also be weak-ankled. | |
| Are you taught to hate each other and see each other as competition for everything? | |
| Absolutely. | |
| It's amazing men can cooperate on anything, let alone that they can cooperate better than women. | |
| I have yet to figure out why all the hoes get all the attractive men. | |
| Because they're easy, but they don't keep them. | |
| Do you get told that you are responsible by what you wear, for a woman's eyes, what she looks at, and therefore her purity? | |
| Women seem to have abandoned regard for their purity long ago. | |
| It's not something that really comes up anymore. | |
| Do you realise that Ladies Night was created for men to get women drunk and take advantage of us? | |
| That's why drinks are cheap. | |
| Oh shit, the women are onto us. | |
| On dating sites, you see a lot of women specifying that they want an independent guy, or one that knows what he wants in life. | |
| I assume you mean do you? | |
| And the answer is no. | |
| Often you see a lot of women asking for a prince under the delusion that they themselves are a princess. | |
| I actually live in a monarchy, so there are a few princes around, but the ratio is literally millions to one. | |
| Godspeed, fan maidens of dating sites. | |
| Do you know why we're feminists? | |
| Yes, self-interest. | |
| Have you ever been told that women won't marry a fat man and even if you're not a trophy husband, would it kill you to look the part? | |
| Bitch, getting married is really not my concern. | |
| It's your concern. | |
| Because you're the woman here and you are the one who wants the commitment. | |
| I'm getting fat to try and scare you the fuck off. | |
| Have you ever been given feedback at work that you just don't smile enough? | |
| Yes, I have worked in customer service, although my manager was far less inclined to say it in such nice terms. | |
| It was more like, why do you look like such a grumpy cunt? | |
| Aren't you sick of racism, sexism against whites and males isn't real being used to justify extreme bigotry by feminists? | |
| Why yes I am, in fact. | |
| What an interesting and astute question. | |
| Have you ever gone to the emergency room or a primary care provider and been told that you are just anxious? | |
| No, but then I don't tend to go to emergency rooms unless there is a self-evident emergency. | |
| Seriously, what the fuck is it about the remote control? | |
| You watch shit TV. | |
| Why is it that any man who stands up for women's rights is automatically the subject of gay bashing? | |
| Look, being a faggot is not gay bashing. | |
| I know loads of gay people that aren't faggots at all. | |
| Have you ever had a great interview that you were 100% qualified for only to be asked out for dinner at the end? | |
| No, no one offers to pay for my dinner. | |
| Do you ever get told that you're too handsome for your job and then you're expected to take that as a compliment? | |
| No, but if I was told that, I would take it as a compliment. | |
| Do most business introductions include a comment about how attractive someone finds you? | |
| No, but I don't carry the heavy burden of being an attractive person, Sarah. | |
| If you'll allow me to quote from the Cyberpunk 2020 manual, if you want to decrease your attractiveness, a straight-edge razor cost 59 cents. | |
|
Women Whining About Men
00:00:42
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| Do you ever have two women walk down the sidewalk next to you talking about you like you're not a thing, not a you? | |
| Yeah, bitches exist and they talk about men as well as women. | |
| Bastu um post na para incia si uma discussiao internacial sombre liva cantada na rua? | |
| I don't know, I don't speak foreign. | |
| Would you go back in time to rape Hitler? | |
| Yes. | |
| And finally, the majority of women on questions for men just want to whine. | |