Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - This Week in Stupid (02⧸11⧸2014)

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Nov. 2, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin

26:39

This Week in Stupid (02⧸11⧸2014)

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	Hello everyone, welcome to this week in Stupid for the 2nd of November 2014.
	I really did try to stay away from feminism this week, but no matter where I went, feminism was already there, fucking things up for people.
	In fact, the only thing I could find that was really stupid and didn't involve feminism was extraterrestrial life of all things.
	Yes, a Lockheed Martin scientist on his deathbed says that aliens are real.
	Aliens, some as old as 200 years, are real and have visited Earth, a former Lockheed Martin senior scientist has claimed.
	In his final moments, he provided photo evidence while sharing his personal experiences of UFOs and extraterrestrials.
	Well, shit.
	The controversial 33 minute video, What Are The Aliens Complaining?, was made shortly before Boyd Bushman died on the 7th of August 2014.
	However, the footage has only recently emerged and is starting to gain widespread attention.
	I do have a top secret clearance, he affirms at the beginning of the video.
	He then goes on to state that instance such as Roswell in 1947, when a military Air Force surveillance balloon crashed, happened at the hands of aliens.
	Hang on, are we saying that Roswell was a military balloon that crashed, and that aliens are the cause, rather than the usual story of it was an alien spacecraft that crashed and the cover-up was that it was a military balloon?
	Bushman shared details about aliens, UFOs and anti-gravity technology, which he says is being developed by US, Russian and Chinese scientists at Area 51.
	In the video, Bushman is seen holding up second-hand photo evidence of aliens while describing them to the viewers.
	They were approximately four and a half to five feet tall, the former top aerospace scientist said.
	They have three backbones and they're actually cartilage, he added, stating that they have fewer ribs than human beings.
	These aliens have five fingers and toes like human beings.
	He went on to state that their eyes and noses are different from humans and that they are telepathic mind readers.
	Apparently they're able to use their own voice by telepathy to talk to you.
	You walk in the room with one of them and all of a sudden you find yourself giving the answer to your question in your own voice.
	I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but he was an old man on his deathbed, so.
	However, Bushman does have the answer to the King of Poles' question on what's the deal with aliens.
	According to him, there are two different groups.
	It's like a cattle ranch, he stated, adding that some can live up to 230 years old.
	One group is Wranglers and the other are Rustlers, the stealers of cattle.
	So there we have it.
	We are merely cattle to the aliens.
	Some of them raise and breed these cattle and some steal these cattle.
	The Wranglers are unsurprisingly much more friendly and have a better relationship with us.
	Well at least the story is internally consistent.
	But Bushman seemed to have known the details of where and how those aliens live.
	He claimed the creatures are the inhabitants of a planet called Quintumnia, I think, and is located 68 light years away from Earth, yet it only takes them 45 minutes to travel to our planet.
	At home they commute through telepathy, Bushman insisted.
	Can't tell if crazy old man or shitty fucking journalist.
	He went on to say that he actually saw their homes because he gave the aliens a camera to take pictures with.
	However, it's hard to say what those pictures contain because the images turned out to be blurry.
	Don't get me wrong, I take awful pictures, I hardly know how to operate a camera myself, but could the aliens not have provided any of their own images?
	And apparently there are Americans working on the UFOs from outer space 24 hours a day reported the Metro.
	Okay, so on one hand, Guy's reporting on his deathbed about UFOs, which is the best time for anyone to report about UFOs because it means they don't get to face any ridicule, it means they don't get to get punished for breaching any security clearances or anything like that, and they're not really around to answer any further questions that might incriminate them or, you know, shed doubt on their story.
	There's a whole list of reasons that anyone would do this if they actually had information or not.
	So that doesn't really help.
	But on the other hand, I do worry that this is kind of like the curse of Cassandra, which is where someone has information or knowledge that other people might need or want, but they're never believed when they present it.
	I mean, I have no idea whether aliens are real, but this guy's claiming they're real, and the only argument against him I have is just, well, that's crazy.
	What?
	That would mean that all of these other things are true.
	And he would probably say, well, yes, that does mean that.
	And I'd say, but, but, but, and then I would just not want to believe it.
	So this guy's in a bit of a catch-22.
	Even if he says, they're aliens, here I have pictures of aliens.
	I obviously can't bring you an alien because it was 50 years ago I saw them, but I have the evidence.
	Honestly, I swear to God, they're aliens.
	He's probably not going to be believed.
	So for his sake, I do hope he was actually lying or crazy.
	But if you watch the video of him, he doesn't really sound like a giant fucking lie.
	Alright, next.
	The New York Times.
	Op-ed contribution.
	Gamers Are Over by Anita Sarkeesian reporting from San Francisco on the two-month anniversary of declaring Gamers Over.
	How's that working out for you, Anita?
	Since she was two months late, I'm not even going to read Sarkeesian's article, How to Talk to Your Guy Friends About Not Threatening to Rape and Murder Women on the Internet by Andrea Grimes, senior political reporter for RH Reality Check.
	Wow, I'm already impressed.
	Dudes, can I turn my chair around and get real with you for a minute?
	Oh, fucking hell alright, Dadcon.
	We need to talk about the fact that scores of you and your buddies are jumping on the internet and threatening to rape, maim, and murder women.
	Really, scores.
	Okay, for a long time, even before Gamergate was a twinkle in a sad white dude's eye, feminist cultural critics and some mostly not cis dude developers and gamers have been subjected to violent harassment from individuals who seem to be mildly troubled by their predilections for typing, talking or otherwise expressing themselves in public, as opposed to shutting up and making sandwiches.
	Yeah, that wasn't just insanely bigoted or anything.
	There are no undercurrents of hatred towards cis white dudes in that.
	In any way, all this talk of leaving women's mutilated corpses on the front page of Jezebel.
	Wait, are you suggesting that the Twitter account at chatterwhiteman named Death to Brianna is actually someone who blogs for Jezebel?
	Because judging from the things they've said, I could believe it.
	But anyway, all this talk is, I'm sure, out of concern for journalistic ethics.
	Objectification, Your Honor.
	This has got nothing to do with Gamergate.
	Seems to be entirely someone who's got a personal grudge against Brianna Wu.
	But it's apparently definitely not because of a widespread, deeply ingrained culture of toxic masculinity.
	Wait.
	Would you Christmas fucking Eve it?
	Yes, she does follow and retweet Jonathan Macintosh on the Twitter.
	Full Macintosh ahead.
	But look, on the teeny, tiny chance that Gamergators are indeed a horde of gender policing, misogynist trolls, gender policing.
	Okay, who believe that they can operate with impunity in a society wherein boys will be boys, yes, the traditional legal defense against rape, and women will live in abject goddamn fear for every moment of their fucking lives because so many of them are now feminists, it's time for all the cool good dudes out there to have a talk with their bros about how saying that they'll rape and murder people isn't okay.
	Oh fucking hell, this really is going full Macintosh.
	Maybe you think that goes without saying.
	I do, but apparently feminists don't.
	But hey, it doesn't go without saying for everybody, because literal thousands of somebodies are currently out there on the internet right this minute, terrorizing people with the promise of sexual violence of all kinds.
	I'm not going to tell you how many of those quote-unquote promises are actual threats that actually lead to sexual violence because that might undermine the point I'm trying to make somewhat.
	Bros, dudes, guys, and buddies of the privileged cisgender heterosexual persuasion, you know who I'm talking about.
	You know, scum.
	This is not my problem.
	This is not women's or queer folks or trans folks problem.
	Which is a strange thing to say because it very much sounds like their problem.
	But no, this is your problem.
	You fix it.
	Obviously, no one is in favour of harassment, but this is the stupidest thing I've heard since this.
	Um, instead of cleaning these girls' mouths out with soap, maybe society should clean up its act!
	Yeah, society, clean up your fucking act.
	Come on, everyone's waiting on you, especially the bossiest and most entitled woman I've ever seen in my life.
	And while we're at it, mainstream feminism, time for you to clean up your act as well, because these young women are calling out mainstream feminism for the voices it has neglected.
	Feminism might be all about equality, but these Denver-based slam poets point out all women aren't always heard.
	Well, at least they're not from San Francisco.
	They tackled the topic of mainstream feminism at the 2014 Brave New Voices Festival, where a bunch of feminists get together and bitch and moan about their first world problems.
	I mean, an annual poetry slam held in Philadelphia.
	In a video of their performance, which was recently posted on YouTube, they note how women of colour often seem to be left out of the discussion.
	One of them was ginger, but ginger is a colour, so I guess they've got me there.
	Before I am a woman, I am black.
	But women and colour should not have to surrender to each other, Obi-Wall says, arguing that her identity as a person of colour should not prevent her from being a visible part of the movement for gender equality.
	I see.
	Well, it's very nice to meet you, young miss, because I'm actually white, and I'm also male.
	And if there's one thing these racists and sexists have been doing to me, it's castigating me on my race and gender.
	How does the enemy of my enemy is my friend sound to you?
	Even when women of colour are invited to contribute to the larger feminist conversation, the poets suggest that they are met with microaggressions and a lack of support.
	Those fucking microaggressions, man.
	We just lose far too many to them.
	Just so many brave voices snuffed out.
	But in the poem, they take down a number of the perceived hypocrisies of saviour complex feminism, and they also say the movement is making changes.
	One of these changes is saying feminism isn't just for white women anymore.
	Which is fine.
	And the other three continue her thought with, and it never was.
	Okay, you fucking maniacs.
	So either it was always for white women and you're changing it, or it was never just for white women and you were doing nothing.
	Fucking choose one, you crazies.
	I can't read this with a straight face.
	Even when we disagree, we are burning the table and building a new one.
	It's going to look like something out of a Salvador Dali painting.
	I rather think it's becoming unfair for us to expect feminism to even make any kind of sense whatsoever when it's built this way.
	But yeah, so apparently no one is invited because everyone is already here.
	Which makes me wonder what the need for slam poetry was then.
	Actually, that's just a generally good question.
	Anyone know what Hello Kitty is?
	Yeah, I don't fucking know what it is either.
	But I know it's something the kids like.
	And this is apparently something that feminists hate.
	Hello Kitty at 40.
	Sexist throwback or empowering icon?
	I imagine it's going to be both.
	Depends on which feminist you ask.
	So this week, about 25,000 of the world's most devoted Hello Kitty fans are expected to assemble in Los Angeles' little Tokyo district for the first ever Hello Kitty Con, a four-day celebration of the character's 40th birthday going on now.
	Great.
	I hope they have a good time.
	Created by the Japanese company Sanrio, the little white cartoon has become one of the best-selling licensed entertainment characters ever, generating an estimated $8 billion annually.
	Good for them.
	It's nice to see a homegrown success story.
	Despite her seemingly benign and utterly adorable appearance, the character has become a polarising cult figure around the world.
	Let me guess.
	On one side, you have people who like Hello Kitty, and on the other side you have feminists.
	Fans who collect everything Hello Kitty says she's empowering, or at the very least a harmless hobby.
	This is sounding rather familiar.
	Critics say she's a sexist throwback to a time when girls, particularly Asian girls, were supposed to be cute and silent.
	Brackets, the character has no mouth, and she must scream, I imagine.
	Meanwhile, in some feminist circles, here we go.
	I'm fucking prescient.
	She's also been embraced as counterintuitive symbol of freedom to be feminine and strong.
	And to further muddy the picture, I think you muddy water, but anyway, they clarified the character is actually a third grade girl and not a cat.
	Right, that doesn't make any fucking sense, and if anything, it raises further questions.
	I presumed it was a world full of animals, therefore, in context, it was normal.
	But she was made by an Asian company, so unlike Barbie, it was cool to have this Asian cartoon that was ours, says Christina Wong, 36, a Chinese-American writer and comedian.
	Sorry, Christina, are you suggesting that you were culturally appropriating American culture?
	Because that does not go down well in feminist circles.
	In fact, I would have thought that this was the feminist position to take, especially given that this is also the diversity, as in they're not white.
	And so when she's like the first people to get Hello Kitty stuff for Asian girls, they should be thrilled by that, I would have thought.
	But apparently not everyone's a fan, you see, because in the West, having a mouth is important because it gives you a voice, which is power.
	So some see her as anti-feminist, anti-assertive, anti-vocal, explains Yano, author of Pink Globalization, Hello Kitty's trek across the Pacific.
	Well, if there's one thing feminists like to do, it's yellow people.
	So, yeah, Hello Kitty is seeming rather anti-feminist now you mention it.
	And indeed, the quiet kitty has gotten a lot of flack off some Western parenting blogs.
	One mother writes, Parents praise their daughters to be confident, articulate, and outspoken.
	So Hello Kitty's lack of mouth sends these girls mixed messages about self-esteem.
	Okay.
	Fucking alright.
	I'm sure that there are loads of girls out there saying, you know what?
	That cat doesn't have a fucking mouth.
	If that cat's not a cat, it's a little girl and it doesn't have a fucking mouth.
	I think I'm going to be really, really lacking confidence throughout my entire life from this.
	While another says, it's hard to shout, I am woman, hear me, raw, sans mouth.
	Oh, fuck me.
	Alright.
	Yeah, no, I mean, that's that's technically true, I suppose.
	You can't yell, I am a woman, hear me, raw, if you don't have a fucking mouth.
	That's true, you maniacs.
	But the thing is, her three-year-old daughter fell in love with the character.
	Fuck, that daughter's never gonna speak.
	She'll probably be the last married woman on earth.
	Apparently, a 2004 editorial in the Japan Times, an English-language Japanese newspaper, argued that UNICEF shouldn't be using Hello Kitty to raise money for girls' education programs, noting that someone needs to explain how a cat with no mouth can be a spokesperson for anything, especially girls' education, and that how an image that embodies female submissiveness is supposed to help banish gender-based stereotypes.
	Well, I'm quite interested in how a cat is a spokesman anyway, and yes, it having no mouth does indeed increase the level of mystery behind that.
	I don't really know anything about the female submissiveness side.
	There does seem to be this preconception here that gender-based stereotypes must be banished.
	And I feel the need to point out that the only way to banish a stereotype is to act in a different way.
	Kitty is soft and pliable and doesn't speak and sports a cute bow on her head.
	There's your role model, girls.
	Is it really a role model?
	Are these young girls giving this cartoon cat a hug, saying, I love you, Hello Kitty, one day I'm going to be just like you?
	Or are they, you know, just cuddling a toy because they like cuddling things?
	Critics apparently bashed Avril Levine's 2014 music video for Hello Kitty because she used expressionless Japanese women as backup dancers who looked like props as she screamed, Hello Kitty, you're so pretty over and over again.
	Okay, I agree, that truly is monstrous.
	Avril does not relate to, talk to, look to the Japanese women in the video, says Sharon Kinsella.
	Look, Sharon, just say it, you think she's a bitch.
	Alright, okay.
	I find the presentation of the Japanese women as asexual and silent background dancers with mute, inscrutable expressions, embarrassingly passe and disturbingly colonial in undertone.
	Holy shit, Sharon.
	That came out of your fucking mouth.
	That didn't come out of her mouth, didn't come out of anyone else's mouth.
	You're the one who sees them as mysterious, inscrutable orientals instead of people, you freak.
	It's really, really hard to take these people seriously when they say such ridiculous shit.
	Of course, she wasn't looking at or relating to the background dancers.
	She's doing a little singy thing for the camera.
	I think they're all dressed like toys or something.
	I don't know.
	Bloody hellwoman.
	Calm yourself.
	Disturbingly colonial.
	Jesus fucking Christ.
	Meanwhile, feminist blogs railed against a 2012 ad for Sephora's Hello Kitty head of the class makeup collection that shows a woman in business attire putting down her book, raising math equations on a chalkboard and applying Hello Kitty makeup, arguing that the brands are teaching girls that looking beautiful is more important than smarts.
	she's already a businesswoman you fucking the feminist argument and there is always an argument is a perception that women might be infantilized by this cute product that doesn't speak to their powerful womanhood or their sexuality Well good fucking God Mary White.
	They're selling hello fucking kitty.
	They're not selling vibrators.
	Get a fucking grip.
	But the place where I found feminism most interesting this week was in politics.
	David Cameron refused to wear a this is what a feminist looks like t-shirt.
	Cameron has faced fierce criticism on social media on Monday for his refusal to wear a t-shirt supporting feminism.
	I guess he watched Emma Watson's speech.
	While rival party leaders Don the shirts captioned, this is what a feminist looks like, Cameron declined.
	The campaign by Elmites find this so funny.
	Sorry, I can't.
	I've tried reading this without laughing.
	The campaign with Elle magazine follows Emma Watson's speech to the UN, in which he called for men to become engaged in the feminist cause for a movement called He for She.
	Yes, it wasn't very good.
	The whole thing is stupid.
	Strong empowered women need men's help.
	Elle's t-shirt campaign attracted interest from high-profile celebrities, including Benedict Cumberbatch and Joseph Gordon Levitt.
	This is a shame on so many levels, especially given that he knew Nick Clegg and Ed Milband had agreed without hesitation.
	That's because they are an even more spineless variant of politician than Cameron.
	Cameron is at least prepared to stand up for his own best interests.
	Unlike our Ed, if you're going to give someone some money, give them more than two pence and look them in the eye while you do it.
	Yeah, you definitely have to wear the feminist t-shirt as penance.
	Anyway, she said that Cameron would have been alongside many other influential men who had been more than happy to call themselves feminists, adding, it seems that the Prime Minister still has an issue with the word feminist.
	He might well do, but I think that's really rather irrelevant.
	I think it's more that the public at large are starting to take issue with the word feminist.
	But the PM's press office said that rather than wear the t-shirt, Cameron would provide a quote in support of the campaign.
	And it later materialised that quote did not mention the word feminism.
	Holy shit, Cameron, that is some impressive weaseling.
	I don't know why they did this, but they seem to have found the bitchiest responses on Twitter to David Cameron saying, look, I don't really want to wear your fucking t-shirt.
	And put them on their article.
	For example, if David Cameron had worn a t-shirt saying, this is what a feminist looks like, I would have to stop being a feminist.
	I think what she's saying is they have enough feminists now and they don't need any more.
	Or this one that, I don't think David Cameron should wear a t-shirt declaring himself a feminist, but I doubt we agree for the same reasons.
	That's brilliant.
	There are so many other people watching this saying, well Jesus Christ, I was going to become a feminist, but I don't really want to be associated with this sort of behaviour.
	And this sort of behaviour is what is in the news.
	His refusal to wear the t-shirt prompted outcry on social media.
	Outcry.
	Is that the word we're going for?
	With feminists eager to claim the PM would not be an appropriate ambassador for the movement.
	Well, that's a good thing that he didn't wear that t-shirt then.
	They cited Cameron's membership of the exclusive male-only Oxford drinking society, the Bullingdon Club.
	I can only imagine how much the very existence of this drinking society must enrage feminists.
	But Annabel Brog thinks that David Cameron doesn't care about half of his voters.
	See, what they don't understand is that David Cameron, he's a Tory.
	He represents big business.
	And if there's one thing that business knows, it's that you don't go around claiming to be a feminist when you're paying women in the third world 62p an hour to make this is what a feminist looks like t-shirts.
	Because rookie mistakes like that are the sort of things that will eventually drive you out of business.
	Cameron understands that you have to be a weather vane.
	Feminist t-shirts proudly worn by Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg and Harriet Harmon are made in sweatshop conditions by migrant women, paid 62p an hour and male on Sunday investigation is revealed.
	I can't believe the Daily Mail are the people who do investigations these days.
	The woman machinists on the Indian Ocean island of Mauritius sleep 16 to a room and earn much less than the average wage on the island.
	The £45 t-shirts carry the defiant slogan, this is what a feminist looks like.
	But one of the thousands of machinists declared, we do not see ourselves as feminists, we see ourselves as trapped.
	Outside, we spoke to one 30-year-old worker.
	She told us, I have worked here for four years and I have not been able to see my son or husband in Bangladesh during all that time.
	We work very hard, sometimes 12 hours a day, for not much money.
	I send all my money home and could not afford to fly back and see my family.
	It's awful, but we have no choice.
	In my country, the rupees I earn here are worth three times as much as they are in Mauritius.
	How can this t-shirt be a symbol of feminism?
	These politicians say that they support equality for all, but we are not equal.
	The company doing this has an annual turnover of £125 million, produces 40 million t-shirts a year for clients including Top Shop, Next and Urban Outfitters.
	So we're clear, these women are not feminists, but this woman is.
	And lastly this week, I discovered the unmitigated joy of adding laughter tracks to the unmitigated hysterics of social justice warriors.
	It's a frightening and disgusting trend in the world of online gaming, hackers rewriting code to simulate sexual assault.
	Shana Hunt is live with the disturbing reality of virtual rage, Shana.
	Well, Roger, in the world of gaming, modifying characters is actually a common thing, but these cases are extreme.
	These hackers, they're taking control of games being played online and they're staging these violent attacks.
	And the scenes are so disturbing, you have to blur the images.
	Online, they can take your character, lock them in place, have made their character pinchless, and they can simulate sexual assault with your character, and you are helpless to stop it.
	The graphics are so good, this attack is eerily realistic, but this is virtual rape.
	Hackers rewriting codes and hijacking online video games like zombie apocalypse and Grand Theft Auto.
	The vile scenes are then posted to YouTube.
	That's deplorable and should not be allowed anywhere.
	Like they should be banned off the servers immediately.
	And Sam Megs, an adam gamer and blogger, tells me in some cases these hackers, also known as modders for modifying the game, will talk to victims on their headsets during the attacks.

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