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Aug. 10, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
23:51
This Week in Stupid (10⧸08⧸2014)
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Time Text
Hello everyone, welcome to this week in Stupid for the 10th of August 2014.
I swear to God, as time goes on, the world becomes a stupider and stupider place.
Yes, that is Michelle Obama telling men to ask themselves if they truly view women as equals.
Because equality is obviously something men are going to have to do for women.
She said men worldwide needed to look into their hearts and souls and ask if they truly view women as their equals.
Well, Michelle, if you want me to look into my heart, I've got to say, my equals don't generally require a movement based around furthering their interests over mine.
My equals don't usually require quotas.
My equals don't usually require any kind of special treatment because I don't receive any kind of special treatment.
And that's what I would consider to be equality.
But I'll tell you what, what do you think, Michelle?
Well, of course you do.
I don't think it's possible to be a feminist without being a hypocrite.
She says, We can't waste this spotlight.
It is temporary, and life is short, and change is needed.
And women are smarter than men.
And the men can't complain because you're outnumbered today, she said as the audience laughed.
That's a frighteningly totalitarian mindset you have, Michelle.
But okay, you think women are smarter.
Which is presumably why you became one.
Yeah, I saw that video.
I even saw President Obama's reaction.
We can all see who wears the trousers in this relationship.
You know, I'm sure it's not true.
I'm sure it's not true.
I'm sure she's just Amazonian.
Because I enjoy ruining people's days.
They're going to make a female-centric reboot of Ghostbusters.
And apparently it matters, according to the rapiest-looking man I've ever seen, who then goes on to spout a bunch of absolute contradictory bollocks.
He basically goes on to say that in the 90s women apparently had loads of films made for them, and what we're seeing now is the increasing masculinization of cinema.
For example, he says, mainstream animation, which once gave us Beauty and the Beast and Fival Goes West within a week of each other, has become so male-centric that it's considered a big deal when one comes along that features a female lead.
But he then goes on to mention Tangled, Brave and Frozen in this very article.
This is the sort of thing a moron would write.
He says, we all know that more women go to the movies than men, with the seemingly all-important young male demographic forsaking cinema in greater numbers than their female and older counterparts.
We all saw as Angelina Jolie's Maleficent ended up becoming one of the biggest grossing films of the year domestically and worldwide, following a year when the biggest film in America, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Worldwide Frozen were female-centric.
So what are you fucking complaining about, you idiot?
You've got loads of female-centric films.
They're doing really well.
Why are you complaining that they're not making female-centric films?
See, his problem is that apparently, top female actresses are less likely to get starring slash lead roles over their careers than the likes of Tom Hardy or Chris Pine, purely because far more films will be produced with the white male-centric narratives.
Now, I don't know if that's true, but there really doesn't seem to be a dearth of white female-centric narratives, does there?
He wraps up his article with a wonderfully patronising paragraph, saying, Don't worry, ye frightened male movie-goers.
You'll still have plenty of entertainment pitched directly to you, with some of the best actresses of our generation playing token girlfriends, crying hostages, and or good-hearted strippers.
Yeah, because they are the only roles in male-centric films.
Agenda-reversed Ghostbusters won't just be more exciting and potentially more successful than a standard male-centric rebrute with whatever big male comic stars will say yes.
Not surprised in the least, gone.
It's also a small step in what can only be rightfully called a course correction.
Oh, yeah.
A rare chance for women, plural, hmm, to play in the now male-dominated big-budget fantasy sandbox.
Agenda-swapped Ghostbusters matters so much more than it would have twenty years ago when said sub-genre wasn't the only sandbox on the playground.
Listen, idiot.
All they're doing is coming in and stealing someone else's toys, which is precisely what they've done to Comic-Con.
Yes, apparently these people are on a bit of a high thanks to San Diego Comic-Con International this year.
Well, because women totally stole the show and it was great.
Obviously, there are still many strides that need to be taken in equality in the nerdverse.
But let's just take a moment to applaud just how badass the ladies were at the 2014 convention.
Why fucking not?
This article then goes on to waffle on about how fucking many women there were.
Woo!
Vaginas!
Obviously, despite this magnificent success, there are still places where there is improvement to be desired.
But it is an exciting time.
Even with all the news and exclusives and information that came out of this year's San Diego Comic-Con International, women clearly have a chokehold on geek culture at the moment, and her freaking czar for that.
Yeah, yeah, what we'll do is rename this VaginaCon, because it's not about the comics anymore.
And we'll go and set another Comic-Con up over there for people who actually care about the comics.
And you guys can have your VaginaCon, where you dress up as whatever you fucking want, and congratulate each other on how many of you there are dressing up as whatever you fucking want.
Thankfully, men are always going to be enterprising, and they're always going to set up new spaces where they can deal with the things that they want to deal with.
And in this case, I'd recommend Cheshire Cat Studios on YouTube.
They're really very good.
Very entertaining to listen to.
Give them a look.
That's the only ray of sunshine I'm bringing, though.
Because in other news, this woman deserves a high five.
She brings her daughter to work every day.
She is Lucia Ronzuli.
Wow, where does she work?
Can't be too important.
You know, having your kid there all day kind of would be distracted from your work, wouldn't you?
Oh, she works in the European Parliament.
Yep, that's just exactly what I'd expect from the European Parliament.
Exactly what I'd expect.
I mean, that's clearly good for the child.
That's clearly good for her full understanding and comprehension of the issues.
She is quite evidently fulfilling all of the needs of her constituents with no problems at all.
I mean, what do you think they say about this in Moscow?
Just like Mr. President, they have swaddling child in European Parliament.
What kind of fucking madness is this?
How is she the best person to do this job?
Feminists are still absolutely baffled by the idea of women against feminism and continue to demonstrate their absolute ignorance on the subject.
This one article out of many was How Not to React for Anti-Feminist Women.
So this woman goes on about how she was at a party and her sister, whom she had argued with, turned to her and said, I'm not a feminist, and this was some sort of catastrophe for this woman.
She goes over all the usual feminist talking points when she describes her journey into feminism.
And I find it very interesting how she describes it very much like Neo describes the Matrix, or Morpheus describes the Matrix.
She says, The deeper I went down the feminist rabbit hole, the more I found answers, the more I forgot the question.
It is endless.
Of course, this is not something to celebrate.
Feminist voices are being heard, but before long I found myself cowering slightly from the whirling opinions spiralling up around in my head, up into the sky and back into history.
At one point, I just wanted to throw the women's magazines and feminist blogs in the air around me and shout at the top of my lungs, I don't fucking know.
Boy or shit, should that be girl?
Did feminism rear up and roar at me?
I was just reaching saturation point when I found women against feminism.
The thing is, she's had an epiphany.
She says, I began to feel that we were being too shouty, too quiet, too victimizing, too forceful.
Then we have already started to fail, and I hate it.
She knows the end is in sight.
On the Women Against Feminism blog, I can see posts by people saying they have received hate messages from feminazis.
All I can think of as I scroll through the fast accumulated likes and posts is how the fuck did this happen?
I feel like I'm spinning on the spot, arms outspread, looking at my fellow feminists and asking, seriously, guys, where the hell were we?
Then I remembered where I was.
Back at the party.
No, I'm not a feminist.
After this calm, totally genuine admission from this woman, I went on what I can only politely describe as a tirade, pummeling with facts and figures, yeah, I'm sure you were, trying to convince her that she was wrong, that she was mistaken, that she just didn't understand what feminism was.
Oh, if only people could understand what feminism actually is, eh?
Maybe they'd all be feminists.
Slowly as I began to tell her, my face melted from determination to utter disbelief.
Hers hardened in quiet confidence that she had just been proven right.
Because she had just been proven right.
That we feminists are all the same, shouty, elitist, and actually a little bit mean.
Not just a little bit.
Man haters and blamers, women victimizers and blamers.
I pawed at her with words, desperately trying to persuade her that she was most definitely a feminist because, and here comes my moment of glory, you're a woman, how could you not be?
Well, at least this woman has the decency to say uh she got up and walked away and on reflection I would probably have done the same.
What an epic fail.
Fair enough, Grace Chapman.
That was an absolutely epic fail, but at least it was a moment of enlightenment for you.
Right?
She goes on to say that look, feminism's become this terrible beast that people are afraid of angering, and she's right.
And there's no coming back from it there, Grace.
Because the only women left in feminism are fucking bonkers.
As you can see from the commenters on this very article.
For example, when Teabag says, like the article about how we ought to spend more time being nice to rape apologists so that they don't hate us, I can't help thinking that we're wasting time on making feminism attractive to women who post pictures of themselves holding these kind of statements about feminism.
It's pretty pointless.
These women are so frightened of acknowledging structural disadvantages and social contexts that they have buried their heads in the quicksand of patriarchy and hope that if they placate men enough they won't be discriminated against, raped, or any of the other things that they claim to be mysteriously immune to.
Ironically, although they're designed not to be victims to have good relationships with men, etc., is pure feminism, apparently, they choose not to see it.
Instead, they have brought the line that is used by male anti-feminists from the MRAs to the Christian right, from fundamentalist Islamic leaders, that feminism is actually causing men to hate women more than they did before in the olden days.
Feminists, you idiots.
Not women, feminists.
You know, that's not quite crazy enough for me.
Feminism can do better than that.
How about why women against feminism is pro-feminist?
Absolutely fucking barking.
Just I I'm lost for words at how m dangerously lunatic that is.
Obviously is the result of years of Orwellian conditioning.
What women against feminism is doing for feminism can be regarded as the impetus that it needs to establish its modern image.
Listen love, feminism has its modern image and it's not good.
Feminism is still a movement that seeks suffrage for women in Saudi Arabia.
Fuck the men.
She probably thinks they vote.
Equal pay in the United Kingdom, yeah, right, whatever.
Which seeks equal education for women developing nations, good luck.
Which seeks convictions from rape and sexual assault.
Okay, well, I suppose we could probably get rid of the judicial system.
That's obviously not what that's for.
Most importantly, Women Against Feminism gives women the voice to be anti-feminists.
Something which could not have been achieved without feminism.
Just, that's just unbelievable.
I, I...
Yes, I suppose the benefit of Nazism is that everyone gets to be anti-Nazi.
You fucking moron!
You want to create something bad so you can give people the opportunity to be good by being in opposition to the bad thing!
But that's not the end of the insanity, because one feminist clearly needs to be put away.
In a desperate attempt to be ironic, this woman who's posted these things online and she just looks mental.
She looks like some sort of sociopath.
I don't need feminism because I have poor reasoning skills and I've failed to see aggressive or defensive feminist rhetoric within the context of centuries of ongoing violence against women.
Apart from looking like the sort of woman I would be worried about murdering my children, the palpable untruth of what you're trying to say just makes this look like it's honest that you have no reasoning skills and that you are actually crazy rather than you're putting this on.
I mean she's actually stupid enough to put one, again, looking like a moron, saying, I don't need feminism because the only way I think I can get along in this world is by pandering to the status quo and shitting on other women.
The status quo, as we have established, is women having a stranglehold on Comic-Con and the movies and just the the cultural narrative.
You absolute fool.
You've got feminists doing their victory lap and you're going, well, the status quo is awful.
Well, the status quo is feminists doing their victory lap.
And shitting on other women, yeah, oh, they're such betrayers, aren't they?
Traitors to the sisterhood.
I don't need feminism because I spent my childhood around people who told me that women who had sex before marriage were sluts and whores and so now I'm afraid of my own body.
Or it could be that they've got some self-respect.
Maybe they don't want to slag it up around town like you guys do.
I don't need feminism because I have magical powers and I made it so that history didn't happen.
Nothing about the feminist narrative of history is true.
It's all bollocks.
In the words of Matt Binder, a hundred years ago, women were chattel.
I forget where the slave markets were located in early 20th century England, but I'm sure they were.
I'm sure there were plenty of women slave markets.
And my personal favourite one of these, I don't need feminism because I'm a teenager who hasn't entered the workforce yet.
And I don't know what constant sexual harassment or watching unqualified people get promoted over me feels like.
Oh my fucking god, I think I figured this woman out.
I think she works at a strip club.
She's a poll dancer.
She's like, this is just disgusting.
I'm just constantly objectified.
Seriously, does it not occur to you, love, that most feminists on YouTube are teenagers?
Does it stop there, though?
Of course it fucking doesn't stop there.
I'm having an abortion this weekend, and what an empowering experience it'll be.
And we can tell from the comments that this person wasn't the only one.
Eliana says, relief.
That's what I felt.
I was 17 when I had my abortion.
I remember sitting in the Planned Parenthood Clinic in tears thinking, no, I can't be.
I'm here for birth control, not this.
My parents in the middle of a divorce.
My boyfriend just got full scholarship to Michigan State.
I have another year of high school.
This was 1999.
I suppose this was when people had morals.
I was scared I would never amount to anything.
That I would be stuck in a poor suburb of Detroit my whole life.
That I would create a cycle of babies having babies.
The weeks ahead, I had to jump through hoops.
I trembled at the clinic I had scheduled the termination with.
I was only 17, so I had to get the judge's permission in order to terminate my pregnancy.
I was told that Wayne County was for fathers, and travelled to Washington County to get court approval.
I remember standing in front of a judge, feeling scared and alone.
Knowing that this adult had a say in my future, what I'd come to do with my life.
She granted my request.
The day I had the abortion, a piece of me died.
Right?
That's important.
But a piece of me was also liberated.
This was empowering.
I sat in a room full of women whom were about to experience the same thing, and I drew from their power.
I drew from their experience?
What?
Jesus.
How many no, I don't want to know.
I felt safe.
Scared, but safe.
When it was my turn, I went in like a lamb.
I returned as a lion.
It took years to get to the lion stage, so you didn't return as a lion, did you?
Fuck's sake.
I had to overcome my own guilt from growing up Catholic and my own personal worry.
But eventually I realised I am stronger than I thought I was.
I am worthy of the life I want.
And my body is mine and my life is mine.
Until I want to bring another life into this world, until I am ready, I guess you need to terminate as many features as possible.
It's not an easy decision, it's hard.
You will lose many nights of sleep.
You'll second guess yourself for a while.
Then you'll realise your destiny.
I happen to work with children who are at poverty or below.
It has been my life's work.
Yes, I'm not saying that abortions aren't necessary.
I'm not anti-abortion.
I'm anti-going into an abortion saying I came out like a lion.
For fuck's sake, it's disgusting.
Drawing empowerment from terminating human life is not a good thing.
It's not noble, it's not moral, it's not courageous.
It's the cowardly way out.
I'm not saying you were necessarily wrong to take it, but that doesn't change it.
Alright, this is getting a bit heavy.
Let's get back to something silly.
Popular gardening show is racist because it talks about non-native species, says academic.
Apparently, Radio 4's Gardener's Question Time has been described as racist by Dr. Ben Pitcher, a senior lecturer in sociology at the University of Westminster, that said discussions on non-native species and soil purity promote racial stereotypes, with white listeners using the show as a covert way to vent discriminatory opinions.
This is the conspiracy theory to end all conspiracy theories.
Fucking hell!
Dr. Pitcher says that the panel show is saturated with racial language.
Speaking on another Radio 4 show, thinking aloud Ministry of Truth.
He said, Gardener's Question Time is not the most controversial show on Radio 4, and yet it is layered with, saturated with, racial meanings.
The context here is the rise of nationalism.
The rise of racist and fascist parties across Europe.
Nationalism is about shoring up a fancy of national integrity.
My question is: what feeds nationalism?
What makes nationalism powerful?
I'm pretty sure it's gardening.
Dr. Pitcher can't-I can't say this with a straight face.
Dr. Pitcher added that there is a crisis in white identity in multicultural Britain.
And that means that people are unable to express what they really think of immigrants and ethnic minorities for fear of being labelled racist.
So they express their opinions in other ways, including through gardening.
Nationalism is historically about narratives of blood and soil, he said.
Yeah, if you're in Germany.
Thankfully, one of the presenters actually gave his opinion.
He's appeared on the show for 13 years, and he said the claims were utterly absurd, which they are.
Many things have been said again.
Many things have been said about Gardener's question time, but you can't say that it's racist.
His comments show a complete lack of understanding of the natural world.
Gardeners understand the fluidity of species over space and time.
They come and go.
They adapt to different environments.
This is what we mean by non-native and native species.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with nationalism or racism.
And he then rightly points out, there is enough real racism in the world without looking for it in places that it doesn't exist.
That's absolutely fucking true.
Holy shit, that is the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard in my life.
That was until I saw a mock-up of Alex Salmond on a pound coin.
Scotland, you need to ask yourself some serious questions.
Do you want Alex Salmond to be your George Washington?
Do you want this guy to be your George Washington?
I mean, I know Scotland are going to keep the pound, but this would be the guy who's going to go down in history about liberating Scotland.
Is that what you want?
Especially when he's militarising the police force.
That's right, he's actually turning Scotland into a police state, arming them on routine patrol throughout Scotland.
Scottish Conservatives said the use of armed police was disturbing, because it is, while Scottish Labour accused Justice Secretary Kenny McCaskill of having an indifferent attitude towards the police, I suppose.
Scottish Lib Dems have called the Justice Secretary deeply illiberal.
Petitions opposing the policy have been started by Lib Dem MP Danny Alexander.
It's baffling to even know why they're doing it, because fararm offences are actually down by 32% to the lowest for 10 years, obviously reducing the need for armed response units.
I don't know why Alex Salmond's creating a nice little independent police state north of England.
But, um, I don't know, maybe David Cameron can help us out with that.
Oh no, he can't, he's too busy looking at tits on Twitter.
That's right.
Downing Street's official Twitter account, UK Prime Minister, is following a series of Twitter accounts ranging from the strange to the downright salacious, including one called I Like Tits Daily, which I'm about to follow.
The account, which describes itself as the number one for Twitter hotties with nice boobs, sold, is not the only headturner among Cameron's 36,000 strong follower base.
Others being followed by the PM include an American biker gang and a plus-size model who claims to be from outer space.
According to Downing Street, the dodgy accounts were followed as the result of software that automatically followed Twitter users when they followed the Prime Minister.
Why I Like Tits Daily would follow David Cameron is beyond me, but you know what?
You're alright, Cameron.
Everything I've said before, I take it back.
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