Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - This Week in Stupid (03⧸08⧸2014)

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Aug. 3, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin

13:34

This Week in Stupid (03⧸08⧸2014)

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	Hello everyone, welcome to this week in Stupid for the 3rd of August 2014.
	This week we're all gonna die.
	But before that, some first world problems.
	The Vancouver Transit Police thought they were doing the right thing when they put a sign up saying not reporting sexual assault is the real shame, because obviously if people don't report sexual assaults to the police, how can the police deal with them?
	Obviously, they've had several angry complaints from social justice warriors.
	When I saw the ad, my initial reaction was shock and anger.
	Such obvious victim shaming was infuriating, and very triggering to see it on my morning commute.
	Vancouver artist, not even going to try and pronounce it, wrote to the Huffington Post in an email.
	Sending the message that not reporting an assault is worse than the actual assault definitely doesn't inspire faith in the police.
	Very much a case of don't teach me to report assault.
	Someone else should do it?
	Is she arguing for like increased coverage of CCTV?
	Biometric sort of feedback scanners?
	I don't know.
	I don't know what she's asking for.
	If you don't tell them, how else are they going to know, you moron?
	Speaking of morons, I came across this Jessica Valenti article.
	Now, I know what you're thinking.
	She's an idiot, but she's a special kind of idiot this week.
	So older women don't need man-splaining bona prose in praise of their sexiness.
	A homage in a men's magazine to the carnal appeal of a 42-year-old woman is no great win for feminism.
	It's no great win for anyone, to be honest.
	Very little carnal appeal in 42-year-old women.
	So Esquire magazine was silly enough to post, A few generations ago, a woman turning 42 was expected to voluntarily accept the shackles of biology and convention.
	Now it seems there is no one in our society quite so determined to be free.
	Conservatives still attack feminism with the absurd notion that it makes its adherents less attractive to men.
	In truth, it is feminism that has made 42-year-old women so desirable.
	So Esquire is actually fighting in the feminist corner.
	But obviously it's about men enjoying something, and if there's one thing feminists despise, it's men enjoying something.
	And Jessica Valenti goes on to say, pro tip to male writers gorging on self-congratulation as they deem grown women fuckable.
	Leave feminism out of it.
	Because Jessica Valenti is the boss of feminism.
	Not only that, but Jessica Valenti speaks for all women.
	When she says, it's easy for men to call women superior in a society that privileges men at every turn.
	They're not the ones being grossly objectified under the guise of a compliment.
	Certainly, women over 40 deserve more reverence and respect than they typically get, possibly because Jessica Valenti can see it on the horizon.
	And I'd love to see women of all ages receive that, outside of women's magazines and daytime talk shows.
	We live in a culture, well done, often driven by the media, brilliant, and Hollywood, magnificent, that paints women over 25 as desperate and pathetic.
	You know what?
	Art reflects life.
	Anyway, we're considered past our prime, never to be nubile, a word worth banning from our collective consciousness if ever there was one again.
	Oh, fucking hell, Valenti, you are just barking.
	You are absolutely just howling at the moon.
	But the validation women seek is generally not of the erection-producing variety.
	Is it not, Valenti?
	Do you know this?
	Have you asked all women, did they vote for you to represent them?
	I think you mean the validation Jessica Valenti is seeking is generally not of the erection producing variety, which is lucky.
	It's very nice and all that writers are catching on that women of all ages can be sexy, but framing it as an amazing new discovery makes it more about men than it is about us.
	Which feels about par for the course.
	Oh, Jessica.
	I tell you what, love.
	How about you, I don't know, take a nice sexy photo of yourself at the beach and I'll objectify that.
	Perfect.
	This was going around Twitter, and well done to Jessica for being just such an idiot.
	You know, there are feminists out there saying, look, feminism's for everyone.
	Feminism doesn't hate men, and since Jessica Valenti is the boss of feminism, we can see exactly what feminism's about.
	Well done for setting feminism back, Valenti, you moron.
	This leads to another article from The Guardian about how a feminist debate was derailed by asking all men to leave.
	I'm not even joking.
	The opening night of the London Film Festival last Friday seemed like a huge success.
	Miriam f whatever, Lesbiana, a parallel revolution about lesbian separatist communities in North America in the 1980s, was screened at some film festival.
	Anti-porn activist and academic Julia Long was on a panel there after the film.
	But before the floor was open for questions, Long raised her hand and asked all the men in the audience to leave.
	There was instant uproar, lots of clapping, but also lots of booing.
	Many men and women got up and left, visibly disgruntled.
	Long then elaborated on her point, saying how politically disastrous it had been to allow men to attend feminist events and conferences in recent years, although she did not specify what the harm was.
	She made further controversial claims, such as that heterosexuality can be a death sentence, or that in the face of off-the-scale sexual violence and misogyny, there is nothing more threatening than women withdrawing from men completely.
	Well, that is definitely the less crazy side of the argument.
	This is from a third party.
	Let's see what Julia Long's opinion on this was herself.
	So I'm a feminist troublemaker for requesting some women-only space.
	Yes, I asked men if they'd like to leave a screening of a lesbian feminist film, but let's move on to discussing the bigger picture.
	That is the bigger picture, you delirious bigot.
	In the previous article, I reputedly asked all the men in the audience to leave, except for the record, that wasn't quite what happened.
	Quote, I just wonder if there are any men that would like to show their solidarity and leave at this point, out of respect for autonomous women's space.
	It's a polite invitation, I just thought you might like to consider it.
	As political allies, thank you.
	So you did, in fact, ask them to leave, you unhinged lunatic.
	With feminists like these, who needs enemies, eh?
	Feminism?
	Seriously, why are you letting these people have the public discourse?
	I know I shouldn't interrupt my enemy when they're making a mistake, but god damn it, this is an insult to everyone's intelligence.
	It seems that feminism needs membership cards or something, so you really can say, well, that's not a real feminist.
	Women in London, although quite hard-working, apparently are getting lazier, as the pay gap has widened to 13% less than men in London, in a desperate attempt to make this sound like a much bigger problem than it actually is.
	Listen to the language used.
	Men are now being paid in excess of 13% more than women across London as the gender wage gap widens.
	Shock official figures today revealed that for each pound paid to men per hour last year, women receive 86.8p, down from 89.1p a year ago.
	Who gives a fuck?
	The trend is possibly being fuelled by bigger bonuses going to men in the city, while women are being pushed more than ever into low-paid, part-time jobs, experts said today.
	Shadow women's minister Gloria DiPiro said, whether you're a chief executive or a hairdresser, women across the capital are being paid less than men for doing the same or equivalent work.
	Well, can't you do something then?
	Can't you begin investigations into companies?
	Or are you just going to fucking whine about it because you know you are lying?
	There are some great examples of companies that are leading the way in efforts to close the pay gap, but delivering equal pay should be a priority for all employers.
	They are.
	They all are.
	The problem is that women are making different choices to men.
	I guarantee any investigation will find that completely.
	However, women working part-time are paid more than men on average, apparently, but this gap is closed, according to the Office of National Statistics obtained by Labour.
	The way they're talking about this is as if there are some predetermined figures that we must arrive at.
	And I'm assuming that that is absolute parity.
	This is probably going to involve us having to restrict women of many of their liberties, such as the freedom to choose their own careers.
	Because obviously it's not coming out with the right results in the shock official figures.
	So something has to be done.
	Women, sorry, you're going to have to basically work all the time.
	It's going to suck, you're not going to like it, but you're going to have to work a lot just to make sure these figures are all equal, because otherwise Gloria DiPiro is going to fucking come for you.
	So I did say that the world was going to end and we're all going to die.
	And that's going to be because of immigrants.
	But private militias in the US are patrolling the US-Mexico border.
	I'm sure these are going to be a really, really normal bunch of guys.
	And nothing unhinged about any of them.
	There are more than 10 independently operated private militia groups patrolling the border between Texas and Mexico, ignoring calls from Custom and Border Patrol to back off and inviting criticism from local lawmakers.
	In a new report by the San Antonio Express News, the newspaper obtained more than 30 photographs from unnamed members of the militia showing numerous individuals sporting semi-automatic rifle masks camouflage and tactical gear.
	Jesus, this is going to go well, isn't it?
	Well, we'd better take a look at these guys.
	I mean, I'm sure they're all normal, responsible people.
	See?
	Nothing to worry about.
	Just honest to goodness patriots.
	Absolutely normal in every way.
	Except for this chappie who probably haunts the nightmares of children.
	I'm pretty sure that any Mexicans crossing the border who are confronted by this guy in his demented mask are literally just going to turn around screaming, El Diablo, El Diablo.
	I'm not denying its effectiveness in border control, but why would you agree to have a picture taken with it?
	But that guy's only scary to Mexican immigrants.
	This is scary to everyone.
	Yeah, the US Army's making warheads with 3D printing.
	The US Army is obviously building deadlier, more efficient, and less costly warheads using 3D printing technology, according to new reports.
	Nothing scary about that, unless you're a terrorist.
	While 3D printers have made more headlines for their ability to make homemade firearms, and for more benevolent uses like the development of prosthetic arms or facial reconstruction surgery, the Army is planning to use them to print sophisticated warhead components on the cheap, according to Army Technology magazine.
	A sensible cost-cutting measure, you would think.
	And it's all hunky-dory about saving money until you get to, maybe someday an entire warhead or rocket could be produced as the technology further matures.
	I can't be the only one worrying about Skynet, can I?
	Just to be clear, we've got drone robots, drone planes, and drone delivery helicopters, and they want to produce factories that can 3D print entire warheads.
	I'm just saying that when the singularity does occur, the machines are going to have everything they need if they choose to use it.
	Let's hope that our new robot overlords are benevolent.
	The third thing that's going to kill us this week is a fast-spreading outbreak of Ebola virus that can't apparently be contained.
	So instead of quarantining the countries involved, we've naturally decided to import the Ebola virus over to Europe so we can try and help treat people, rather than, I don't know, sending people to the countries involved to treat them there.
	I don't think it's unfair for me to assume that everyone listening to this is already dead.
	Any survivors of this Ebola outbreak are probably going to be finished off by feminist slappers who are a nest of STDs.
	There appears to be no hope for the human race, and in fact, as I'm sure many Christians listening have already worked out, we are in fact witnessing the apocalypse.
	Because the Antichrist has returned to Earth.
	That's right.
	Apparently the Sun think that a boy of four has the mark of the devil.
	The New Statesmen were well on the case with this, with boy with the devil mark front page should make you uneasy.
	Yes, it does make me uneasy.
	It makes me uneasy that this kind of shit makes it to the front page of newspapers.
	And then other more respectable publications go on to comment on it.
	The new statesmen assume that the child had been the recipient of abuse, but they clearly haven't read revelations because that child apparently wasn't abused and the police aren't involved.
	Social workers aren't involved.
	No, that's right.
	The Sun are actually insisting this is the Son of the Devil.
	The end times are clearly upon us.
	That's right.
	A river in China mysteriously turns blood red overnight.
	Despite previously being a clean river, unbeliever Emily Stanley, a professor of limnology, the study of inland waters, at the University of Wisconsin, told Life Science at the time, it looks like a pollutant phenomenon, she said.
	Water bodies that have turned red very fast in the past have happened because people have dumped dyes into them.
	Although this does indeed seem like a very reasonable explanation, it doesn't actually contradict biblical apocalyptica.
	2,000 years ago when John was writing his apocalypse and he was receiving divine visions of the future and what would come to pass, all he saw were blood-red rivers.
	And so he naturally wrote a river of blood.

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