| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Why I'm a Feminist
00:05:49
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|
| Right, back to the yucks. | |
| I haven't actually watched this video yet, but I know by the title, it's gonna be fucking great. | |
| Here's Why I'm a Feminist by Lacey Green. | |
| The rumors are true. | |
| What they've been saying about me. | |
| What, but I need to get legal advice and have the supervision of a police officer or my own parents before I can fondle your tits. | |
| Yeah, everyone saw that video and you look like a fucking idiot. | |
| I have to come clean. | |
| I, Lacey Green, am a feminist. | |
| I think you're the first one. | |
| What? | |
| You're a lesbian now? | |
| Man-hater! | |
| Hairy armpits! | |
| Say it so! | |
| It's gonna be okay, those are just stereotypes. | |
| Yeah, because not every woman has really got the balls to commit to them. | |
| But they do certainly sit around and give a golf clap to any woman who does have the balls to go, I'm actually gonna let my armpit hair grow. | |
| I think that feminism is both kick-ass and super important, and here are a few of my reasons why. | |
| Because feminist supremacy would make you a primary beneficiary of all the benefits it would bring to a privileged class. | |
| Oh, I'm sure that's not it, Lacey. | |
| I'm sure it's not. | |
| I'm a feminist because girls are taught in public school that once she has sex, she'll lose a part of herself. | |
| Do you mean because a woman's hymen breaks the first time she has intercourse? | |
| Because I tell you what, if a part of my foreskin ripped off the first time I had sex, I would like that to be mentioned in advance. | |
| Because women who have a lot of sex are sluts while guys are stunned. | |
| And women who beat up men are considered heroes, and men who beat up women are considered villains. | |
| It's about the balance of power, you pillock. | |
| Amanda Todd, Felicia Garcia, Charisse Morales. | |
| Alright, let's hold it there. | |
| Tormented 15-year-old Felicia Garcia jumped to death in front of a train after bullying over sex with football players. | |
| So someone like you persuaded her to whore herself out to a bunch of football players and when they laughed at her for being a slut, which they were inevitably going to do, she didn't know how to take it because the sort of shit you people are saying doesn't help them. | |
| If she had been persuaded not to have sex with all those football players, she would still be alive. | |
| Chalk another death up to feminism. | |
| Well fucking done. | |
| Because of the sexism that drove them to end their lives. | |
| Alright, stop you there. | |
| If there's one thing that this wasn't, it was sexism. | |
| Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender. | |
| Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles and may include the belief that person of one sex is intrinsically superior to another. | |
| This is not what happened here. | |
| These guys don't go around bullying every woman they know because they think women are naturally inferior. | |
| They were bullying this woman because of her actions. | |
| She did something really fucking stupid. | |
| And now they think she's a joke. | |
| And they laugh at her and bully her and whatever. | |
| I'm not saying it's right. | |
| I'm just saying this is why it happened. | |
| It was not to do with the fact that she was just a woman and they hate women. | |
| This was not sexism. | |
| It was just regular garden variety bullying, which I agree is unacceptable. | |
| I'm a feminist because I was told the first time I had sex would be painful and bloody. | |
| And because it wasn't painful or bloody for you, it's not painful or bloody for anyone, is it? | |
| I was terrified. | |
| Because one in four young women is assaulted and society still asks, what was she wearing? | |
| Can I interest you in sex? | |
| No, thank you, darling. | |
| I'm not in the mood. | |
| Oh, go on, I really fancy it. | |
| You're a fucking rapist. | |
| And I am now part of one in four women in the world who has been sexually assaulted. | |
| Thanks a fucking lot. | |
| I'm going to sleep. | |
| Because male victims of rape aren't believed since guys want sex all the time anyway, right? | |
| Because of cat calling and street harassment. | |
| Because no, it is not a f ⁇ ing compliment. | |
| You just proved your own fucking point. | |
| Men are so desperate for sex, they will call out to women in the street to try and get it off them. | |
| Fucking idiot! | |
| I'm a feminist because my first boyfriend sexually assaulted me, and when I went to my friends for help, they called me a slut. | |
| Given that you run a YouTube channel exclusively about sex, I'm gonna guess that you've gotten over it. | |
| And I'm actually gonna guess that he didn't actually assault you by any legal definition. | |
| He assaulted you by a feminist definition. | |
| Go on, I want some. | |
| Mo! | |
| You raping me! | |
| I can't even get to sleep. | |
| Now I'm gonna sleep on the couch! | |
| Because when I speak at universities about the absolute necessity of consent, there are people in the audience who laugh. | |
| Because boobs are used to sell everything from burgers to soap, but don't you dare breastfeed out in the open. | |
| Well, they're not bare, and let's be fair, is this not a sign of a sexually healthy and liberated society? | |
| They're just bikinis. | |
| What do you want? | |
| They're all wearing burkers or something. | |
| Because this shocks and terrifies people. | |
| I'm not even kidding. | |
| You should see some of the looks that I get. | |
| From women, may I ask? | |
| Anyway, I've got to give some kudos. | |
| You did have the balls. | |
| I'm sure there are going to be a million golf claps for you now. | |
| And I bet that if you were the first feminist, you wouldn't do that. | |
| I'm a feminist because of how much pressure we put on girls to value their appearance above everything else. | |
| I suppose if you can't think for your fucking self, it must be. | |
| Everything you see must be like propaganda to you. | |
| Males, because of labioplasties, boob jobs, honeymenoplasties. | |
| You are a feminist because some women are both rich and vain. | |
| Because our culture considers it normal to cut off part of an infant's penis. | |
|
Feminism And Orgasm Ratings
00:08:43
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|
| That's weird. | |
| I've never heard a feminist say that was a feminist goal. | |
| I've heard a lot of feminists saying that it's really not that bad and it's fine and every man should have it done. | |
| But I've never heard it say that. | |
| It's almost like feminism is bullshit and should actually be renamed collective I'm trying to get what I wantism. | |
| I'm a feminist because male orgasm in the movies is rated PG-13 while female orgasm is rated R. | |
| This isn't a point of complaint, but I would point out that they can't show an erect penis. | |
| So, you know, who's more sexist now? | |
| I'm a feminist because in 2013 there were over 700 bills proposed to regulate a woman's body. | |
| And for men, the rightful number, zero. | |
| I agree. | |
| There should be zero legislation that's created that affects only one gender. | |
| I'm a feminist because the political body making decisions about my body is over 80% male. | |
| Wow. | |
| In the words of someone who was actually oppressed, be the change you want to see. | |
| Because men occupy the top realms of not just politics, but every industry in the world. | |
| Yes, there is a kind of dedicated person, and in this case, men, who do work very hard and strive to reach the very top. | |
| I'd say there's nothing holding you back, but... | |
| I'm a feminist because of jobs! | |
| Jobs! | |
| You're 35 years old, playing hide and go seek! | |
| You're living the dream! | |
| You live with the dream! | |
| No time card! | |
| No taxes! | |
| You're off the fing brick! | |
| Women only hold one in four STEM jobs. | |
| But three out of four gender studies degrees? | |
| 6% of TV stations. | |
| 5% of executive positions in the media. | |
| Because when I was younger and I took on a leadership role, all the adults in my life said, you're being bossy. | |
| A. Bullshit. | |
| I think you're just trying to capitalize on the ban bossy bullshit. | |
| But B, stop being fucking bossy then and fucking lead. | |
| And let's not forget that sneaky little pay gaff. | |
| By the time the average woman reaches 60 years old, she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same exact position. | |
| You fucking liar. | |
| Why don't you go to the police then? | |
| There are laws that they have broken if that were true. | |
| But you don't because the police would say, you know what, we've investigated it. | |
| It turns out women are just fucking lazy and you're wrong. | |
| Oh, I'm not fucking lazy. | |
| This is discrimination. | |
| Just because I didn't get to the effort of becoming a CEO and earning a good job doesn't mean I should be paid less. | |
| What is this capitalist fucking America or something? | |
| Discrimination! | |
| That's like a fancy ass house! | |
| A truckload of chocolate bars or ten. | |
| Hell, I'm not even surprised by it. | |
| At my first job, I learned that my less qualified male co-worker was making almost twice as much as me. | |
| Hello, police. | |
| Yeah, I'd like to complain because my co-worker's making twice as much money as me. | |
| Really? | |
| On what basis? | |
| On the grounds that he's male and I'm female. | |
| Shit. | |
| Right, okay, that's all. | |
| That's alright. | |
| What company do you work for? | |
| Right, okay, yeah, we'll get right on that. | |
| Hello, hello, is that- is that Lacey Green, yeah? | |
| It turns out it does he doesn't, and you're talking shit. | |
| They'd be in violation, I think, is the 1963 Act. | |
| So, yeah, don't know what you're talking about, but you're full of it. | |
| I'm a feminist because the media told me that women are my competition, destroying my friendships with them for almost 20 years. | |
| Because everything I see on TV is a command and not a suggestion. | |
| It's because gender rolls! | |
| Because that one-size-fits-all binary that shoves us into boxes and erases who we are. | |
| Hello, toys are us. | |
| You put certain toys in one section and certain toys in another based on preferences that children obviously show. | |
| Yes, ma'am, we do that to make it easier for our customers. | |
| Because 99% of those who have boys go to one section, and 99% of those who have girls go to the other. | |
| And nine out of ten times, it's the child leading the parent to these sections. | |
| So, that's fucking discrimination! | |
| That's disgusting. | |
| That's not true. | |
| It's just entirely socialized. | |
| How dare you? | |
| Well, ma'am, it just makes our customer shopping experience much easier. | |
| But fuck you! | |
| You are evil and part of the patriarchy. | |
| I'm a feminist because in 10th grade someone called my best friend a pussy and it tore him up for weeks. | |
| Thanks for showing us exactly why they called him a pussy. | |
| And I realized the worst insult was to be compared to a woman. | |
| Yeah, because nobody actually wants to be called what they are. | |
| They want to be told they are actually the opposite. | |
| Because boys are shamed for being emotionally open, because that's a girl thing, and womanhood is weak. | |
| Weak? | |
| By comparison to men, yes. | |
| If we were to have a fight, Lacey, it'd go like this. | |
| What do you want, Lacey? | |
| I want to fight you. | |
| Alright, we can fight if you want. | |
| I'm gonna hit you back, though. | |
| You're not allowed to hit me back. | |
| I'm a woman, and boys are stronger than girls, so they're not allowed to hit them. | |
| Oh, I thought you weren't weak, though. | |
| I'm not weak. | |
| But you're making it so I can't hit you back, meaning this isn't a fair competition. | |
| It's not fair competition because you're stronger than me. | |
| That means you're weak, then, doesn't it? | |
| No. | |
| Never mind the fact that it was most likely a woman who pushed your body out of her vagina. | |
| So? | |
| That's not evidence of strength. | |
| That's evidence of biological fucking function. | |
| I'm a feminist because my father never once did the laundry, made dinner, or cleaned the house. | |
| I bet he had a fucking job, though, didn't he? | |
| When I suggested he help, my grandpa told me I was out of my damn mind. | |
| Wow. | |
| Wow. | |
| Out of my mind. | |
| Am I taking crazy pills? | |
| Yes, you fucking are. | |
| Because he's worked 40 hours a week and your mother probably didn't have a job going by the sound of this example. | |
| So it would have gone like this. | |
| Dad, why didn't you help mum with the dishes? | |
| Because I've been fucking at work all day and I want to relax. | |
| I've had a hard fucking day. | |
| Well, that's no excuse. | |
| Mum's had a hard day too. | |
| She's mopped a few floors. | |
| And she caught up with all her favourite soaps on daytime TV. | |
| You can't compare with that. | |
| Oh, fucking hell. | |
| Are you serious? | |
| Yeah, I am serious. | |
| You're a terrible. | |
| Lucy, come on. | |
| He has been at work all day. | |
| Your mother hasn't. | |
| Let him have a rest. | |
| Oh, Granddad, what are you talking about? | |
| Lucy, are you out of your damn mind? | |
| I'm out of my mind. | |
| I'm buying crazy pills or something. | |
| I'm a feminist because people still say that asexual, bisexual, and trans folk don't exist. | |
| Which are totally relevant to equality for women. | |
| I'm a feminist because same-sex marriage is a no-brainer. | |
| Because in 34 states, it's legal to discriminate against someone who's transgender. | |
| Really? | |
| Really? | |
| You don't have to be a feminist to oppose this. | |
| I think it's wrong to discriminate against gays and transsexuals too. | |
| And I think the last thing anyone would call me is a fucking feminist. | |
| I'm a feminist because representation! | |
| It matters! | |
| In LGBT votes, women, and particularly women of colour, hardly ever have their stories told on screen. | |
| And how much of the audience come into that category? | |
| I doubt it's five fucking percent. | |
| I'm a feminist because I believe that the world should be safe for girls. | |
| But not men because all men are rapists. | |
| Everywhere. | |
| Because half the girls in Yemen will become child brides. | |
| Because 65% of Brazilians believe that a woman who dresses in revealing clothes deserves to be raped. | |
| Because in Saudi Arabia, women still can't vote or drive. | |
| Thanks for pointing out the places that I may likely move to. | |
| Seriously though, well done for actually getting to the places that actually need feminism. | |
| Notice the disparity between the toys in Toys R Us and the fact that women aren't allowed out by themselves, not able to drive, and they have to wear incredibly covering clothing and whatnot. | |
| Do you see the difference? | |
| This is called false equivalency. | |
| These aren't the same fucking thing. | |
| This didn't happen because Saudi Arabia actually was a really liberal and open society. | |
| And then Toys R Us came in, started dividing the toys into gender-specific aisles, and then boom, women aren't allowed out of the house, they're not allowed to drive, and they're not treated as people. | |
| I'm a feminist because in every corner of the world, every day, women's bodies are used as a battleground in wars started by men. | |
| Raped, beaten, sold into slavery, mutilated, burned with acid. | |
| I'm a feminist. | |
| I'm a feminist because I'm so fucking stupid to think that the consequences of a war are the causes of a war. | |
| And it's because when I dare to get pissed off at injustice, I'm just another angry feminist who's on her period. | |
| If you had some actual injustices, people wouldn't dismiss you. | |
| I'm a feminist because of the reality that there are people who would take these words more seriously. | |
| If they are coming out of my mouth. | |
| He hasn't said anything stupid yet. | |
| If he said loads of stupid stuff, we wouldn't listen to him either. | |
| Most of all, I'm a feminist because I believe in gender equality. | |
| And my eyes are open. | |
| My mind is active. | |
| Liar. | |
| I know. | |
| We're not there yet. | |
| Yet, obviously being unchallengeable female superiority. | |