Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - Guest-starring Laci Green
Aired: 2014-04-30
Duration: 14:18


=== Why I'm a Feminist (05:49) ===

[00:00:00]  Right, back to the yucks.
[00:00:01]  I haven't actually watched this video yet, but I know by the title, it's gonna be fucking great.
[00:00:06]  Here's Why I'm a Feminist by Lacey Green.
[00:00:09]  The rumors are true.
[00:00:11]  What they've been saying about me.
[00:00:12]  What, but I need to get legal advice and have the supervision of a police officer or my own parents before I can fondle your tits.
[00:00:20]  Yeah, everyone saw that video and you look like a fucking idiot.
[00:00:23]  I have to come clean.
[00:00:24]  I, Lacey Green, am a feminist.
[00:00:28]  I think you're the first one.
[00:00:30]  What?
[00:00:30]  You're a lesbian now?
[00:00:32]  Man-hater!
[00:00:33]  Hairy armpits!
[00:00:34]  Say it so!
[00:00:36]  It's gonna be okay, those are just stereotypes.
[00:00:39]  Yeah, because not every woman has really got the balls to commit to them.
[00:00:43]  But they do certainly sit around and give a golf clap to any woman who does have the balls to go, I'm actually gonna let my armpit hair grow.
[00:00:50]  I think that feminism is both kick-ass and super important, and here are a few of my reasons why.
[00:00:56]  Because feminist supremacy would make you a primary beneficiary of all the benefits it would bring to a privileged class.
[00:01:04]  Oh, I'm sure that's not it, Lacey.
[00:01:06]  I'm sure it's not.
[00:01:08]  I'm a feminist because girls are taught in public school that once she has sex, she'll lose a part of herself.
[00:01:13]  Do you mean because a woman's hymen breaks the first time she has intercourse?
[00:01:18]  Because I tell you what, if a part of my foreskin ripped off the first time I had sex, I would like that to be mentioned in advance.
[00:01:27]  Because women who have a lot of sex are sluts while guys are stunned.
[00:01:30]  And women who beat up men are considered heroes, and men who beat up women are considered villains.
[00:01:36]  It's about the balance of power, you pillock.
[00:01:39]  Amanda Todd, Felicia Garcia, Charisse Morales.
[00:01:42]  Alright, let's hold it there.
[00:01:43]  Tormented 15-year-old Felicia Garcia jumped to death in front of a train after bullying over sex with football players.
[00:01:49]  So someone like you persuaded her to whore herself out to a bunch of football players and when they laughed at her for being a slut, which they were inevitably going to do, she didn't know how to take it because the sort of shit you people are saying doesn't help them.
[00:02:08]  If she had been persuaded not to have sex with all those football players, she would still be alive.
[00:02:14]  Chalk another death up to feminism.
[00:02:16]  Well fucking done.
[00:02:17]  Because of the sexism that drove them to end their lives.
[00:02:20]  Alright, stop you there.
[00:02:21]  If there's one thing that this wasn't, it was sexism.
[00:02:24]  Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender.
[00:02:28]  Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles and may include the belief that person of one sex is intrinsically superior to another.
[00:02:37]  This is not what happened here.
[00:02:38]  These guys don't go around bullying every woman they know because they think women are naturally inferior.
[00:02:44]  They were bullying this woman because of her actions.
[00:02:48]  She did something really fucking stupid.
[00:02:52]  And now they think she's a joke.
[00:02:55]  And they laugh at her and bully her and whatever.
[00:02:57]  I'm not saying it's right.
[00:02:58]  I'm just saying this is why it happened.
[00:03:00]  It was not to do with the fact that she was just a woman and they hate women.
[00:03:05]  This was not sexism.
[00:03:07]  It was just regular garden variety bullying, which I agree is unacceptable.
[00:03:13]  I'm a feminist because I was told the first time I had sex would be painful and bloody.
[00:03:17]  And because it wasn't painful or bloody for you, it's not painful or bloody for anyone, is it?
[00:03:22]  I was terrified.
[00:03:24]  Because one in four young women is assaulted and society still asks, what was she wearing?
[00:03:28]  Can I interest you in sex?
[00:03:30]  No, thank you, darling.
[00:03:31]  I'm not in the mood.
[00:03:32]  Oh, go on, I really fancy it.
[00:03:34]  You're a fucking rapist.
[00:03:36]  And I am now part of one in four women in the world who has been sexually assaulted.
[00:03:40]  Thanks a fucking lot.
[00:03:41]  I'm going to sleep.
[00:03:42]  Because male victims of rape aren't believed since guys want sex all the time anyway, right?
[00:03:48]  Because of cat calling and street harassment.
[00:03:50]  Because no, it is not a f  ⁇ ing compliment.
[00:03:52]  You just proved your own fucking point.
[00:03:55]  Men are so desperate for sex, they will call out to women in the street to try and get it off them.
[00:04:02]  Fucking idiot!
[00:04:03]  I'm a feminist because my first boyfriend sexually assaulted me, and when I went to my friends for help, they called me a slut.
[00:04:08]  Given that you run a YouTube channel exclusively about sex, I'm gonna guess that you've gotten over it.
[00:04:13]  And I'm actually gonna guess that he didn't actually assault you by any legal definition.
[00:04:19]  He assaulted you by a feminist definition.
[00:04:22]  Go on, I want some.
[00:04:23]  Mo!
[00:04:24]  You raping me!
[00:04:25]  I can't even get to sleep.
[00:04:26]  Now I'm gonna sleep on the couch!
[00:04:28]  Because when I speak at universities about the absolute necessity of consent, there are people in the audience who laugh.
[00:04:37]  Because boobs are used to sell everything from burgers to soap, but don't you dare breastfeed out in the open.
[00:04:43]  Well, they're not bare, and let's be fair, is this not a sign of a sexually healthy and liberated society?
[00:04:48]  They're just bikinis.
[00:04:50]  What do you want?
[00:04:50]  They're all wearing burkers or something.
[00:04:53]  Because this shocks and terrifies people.
[00:04:56]  I'm not even kidding.
[00:04:57]  You should see some of the looks that I get.
[00:04:59]  From women, may I ask?
[00:05:01]  Anyway, I've got to give some kudos.
[00:05:02]  You did have the balls.
[00:05:04]  I'm sure there are going to be a million golf claps for you now.
[00:05:06]  And I bet that if you were the first feminist, you wouldn't do that.
[00:05:11]  I'm a feminist because of how much pressure we put on girls to value their appearance above everything else.
[00:05:15]  I suppose if you can't think for your fucking self, it must be.
[00:05:18]  Everything you see must be like propaganda to you.
[00:05:21]  Males, because of labioplasties, boob jobs, honeymenoplasties.
[00:05:25]  You are a feminist because some women are both rich and vain.
[00:05:30]  Because our culture considers it normal to cut off part of an infant's penis.

=== Feminism And Orgasm Ratings (08:43) ===

[00:05:35]  That's weird.
[00:05:36]  I've never heard a feminist say that was a feminist goal.
[00:05:40]  I've heard a lot of feminists saying that it's really not that bad and it's fine and every man should have it done.
[00:05:47]  But I've never heard it say that.
[00:05:49]  It's almost like feminism is bullshit and should actually be renamed collective I'm trying to get what I wantism.
[00:05:59]  I'm a feminist because male orgasm in the movies is rated PG-13 while female orgasm is rated R.
[00:06:05]  This isn't a point of complaint, but I would point out that they can't show an erect penis.
[00:06:10]  So, you know, who's more sexist now?
[00:06:12]  I'm a feminist because in 2013 there were over 700 bills proposed to regulate a woman's body.
[00:06:17]  And for men, the rightful number, zero.
[00:06:19]  I agree.
[00:06:20]  There should be zero legislation that's created that affects only one gender.
[00:06:24]  I'm a feminist because the political body making decisions about my body is over 80% male.
[00:06:30]  Wow.
[00:06:31]  In the words of someone who was actually oppressed, be the change you want to see.
[00:06:37]  Because men occupy the top realms of not just politics, but every industry in the world.
[00:06:43]  Yes, there is a kind of dedicated person, and in this case, men, who do work very hard and strive to reach the very top.
[00:06:51]  I'd say there's nothing holding you back, but...
[00:06:54]  I'm a feminist because of jobs!
[00:06:56]  Jobs!
[00:06:56]  You're 35 years old, playing hide and go seek!
[00:06:59]  You're living the dream!
[00:07:01]  You live with the dream!
[00:07:03]  No time card!
[00:07:04]  No taxes!
[00:07:05]  You're off the fing brick!
[00:07:07]  Women only hold one in four STEM jobs.
[00:07:10]  But three out of four gender studies degrees?
[00:07:13]  6% of TV stations.
[00:07:14]  5% of executive positions in the media.
[00:07:16]  Because when I was younger and I took on a leadership role, all the adults in my life said, you're being bossy.
[00:07:21]  A. Bullshit.
[00:07:22]  I think you're just trying to capitalize on the ban bossy bullshit.
[00:07:26]  But B, stop being fucking bossy then and fucking lead.
[00:07:31]  And let's not forget that sneaky little pay gaff.
[00:07:33]  By the time the average woman reaches 60 years old, she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same exact position.
[00:07:42]  You fucking liar.
[00:07:45]  Why don't you go to the police then?
[00:07:48]  There are laws that they have broken if that were true.
[00:07:51]  But you don't because the police would say, you know what, we've investigated it.
[00:07:54]  It turns out women are just fucking lazy and you're wrong.
[00:07:57]  Oh, I'm not fucking lazy.
[00:07:58]  This is discrimination.
[00:08:00]  Just because I didn't get to the effort of becoming a CEO and earning a good job doesn't mean I should be paid less.
[00:08:06]  What is this capitalist fucking America or something?
[00:08:10]  Discrimination!
[00:08:11]  That's like a fancy ass house!
[00:08:13]  A truckload of chocolate bars or ten.
[00:08:15]  Hell, I'm not even surprised by it.
[00:08:17]  At my first job, I learned that my less qualified male co-worker was making almost twice as much as me.
[00:08:23]  Hello, police.
[00:08:24]  Yeah, I'd like to complain because my co-worker's making twice as much money as me.
[00:08:28]  Really?
[00:08:28]  On what basis?
[00:08:29]  On the grounds that he's male and I'm female.
[00:08:32]  Shit.
[00:08:33]  Right, okay, that's all.
[00:08:34]  That's alright.
[00:08:34]  What company do you work for?
[00:08:35]  Right, okay, yeah, we'll get right on that.
[00:08:37]  Hello, hello, is that- is that Lacey Green, yeah?
[00:08:40]  It turns out it does he doesn't, and you're talking shit.
[00:08:42]  They'd be in violation, I think, is the 1963 Act.
[00:08:46]  So, yeah, don't know what you're talking about, but you're full of it.
[00:08:48]  I'm a feminist because the media told me that women are my competition, destroying my friendships with them for almost 20 years.
[00:08:54]  Because everything I see on TV is a command and not a suggestion.
[00:08:58]  It's because gender rolls!
[00:09:00]  Because that one-size-fits-all binary that shoves us into boxes and erases who we are.
[00:09:05]  Hello, toys are us.
[00:09:06]  You put certain toys in one section and certain toys in another based on preferences that children obviously show.
[00:09:13]  Yes, ma'am, we do that to make it easier for our customers.
[00:09:16]  Because 99% of those who have boys go to one section, and 99% of those who have girls go to the other.
[00:09:22]  And nine out of ten times, it's the child leading the parent to these sections.
[00:09:27]  So, that's fucking discrimination!
[00:09:29]  That's disgusting.
[00:09:30]  That's not true.
[00:09:30]  It's just entirely socialized.
[00:09:33]  How dare you?
[00:09:34]  Well, ma'am, it just makes our customer shopping experience much easier.
[00:09:37]  But fuck you!
[00:09:38]  You are evil and part of the patriarchy.
[00:09:40]  I'm a feminist because in 10th grade someone called my best friend a pussy and it tore him up for weeks.
[00:09:45]  Thanks for showing us exactly why they called him a pussy.
[00:09:48]  And I realized the worst insult was to be compared to a woman.
[00:09:50]  Yeah, because nobody actually wants to be called what they are.
[00:09:53]  They want to be told they are actually the opposite.
[00:09:56]  Because boys are shamed for being emotionally open, because that's a girl thing, and womanhood is weak.
[00:10:01]  Weak?
[00:10:03]  By comparison to men, yes.
[00:10:05]  If we were to have a fight, Lacey, it'd go like this.
[00:10:07]  What do you want, Lacey?
[00:10:08]  I want to fight you.
[00:10:10]  Alright, we can fight if you want.
[00:10:11]  I'm gonna hit you back, though.
[00:10:12]  You're not allowed to hit me back.
[00:10:14]  I'm a woman, and boys are stronger than girls, so they're not allowed to hit them.
[00:10:17]  Oh, I thought you weren't weak, though.
[00:10:19]  I'm not weak.
[00:10:20]  But you're making it so I can't hit you back, meaning this isn't a fair competition.
[00:10:24]  It's not fair competition because you're stronger than me.
[00:10:26]  That means you're weak, then, doesn't it?
[00:10:28]  No.
[00:10:30]  Never mind the fact that it was most likely a woman who pushed your body out of her vagina.
[00:10:35]  So?
[00:10:36]  That's not evidence of strength.
[00:10:37]  That's evidence of biological fucking function.
[00:10:40]  I'm a feminist because my father never once did the laundry, made dinner, or cleaned the house.
[00:10:45]  I bet he had a fucking job, though, didn't he?
[00:10:48]  When I suggested he help, my grandpa told me I was out of my damn mind.
[00:10:53]  Wow.
[00:10:54]  Wow.
[00:10:54]  Out of my mind.
[00:10:56]  Am I taking crazy pills?
[00:10:58]  Yes, you fucking are.
[00:11:00]  Because he's worked 40 hours a week and your mother probably didn't have a job going by the sound of this example.
[00:11:06]  So it would have gone like this.
[00:11:08]  Dad, why didn't you help mum with the dishes?
[00:11:10]  Because I've been fucking at work all day and I want to relax.
[00:11:14]  I've had a hard fucking day.
[00:11:15]  Well, that's no excuse.
[00:11:16]  Mum's had a hard day too.
[00:11:17]  She's mopped a few floors.
[00:11:19]  And she caught up with all her favourite soaps on daytime TV.
[00:11:22]  You can't compare with that.
[00:11:23]  Oh, fucking hell.
[00:11:24]  Are you serious?
[00:11:25]  Yeah, I am serious.
[00:11:26]  You're a terrible.
[00:11:27]  Lucy, come on.
[00:11:28]  He has been at work all day.
[00:11:29]  Your mother hasn't.
[00:11:30]  Let him have a rest.
[00:11:32]  Oh, Granddad, what are you talking about?
[00:11:33]  Lucy, are you out of your damn mind?
[00:11:35]  I'm out of my mind.
[00:11:36]  I'm buying crazy pills or something.
[00:11:39]  I'm a feminist because people still say that asexual, bisexual, and trans folk don't exist.
[00:11:43]  Which are totally relevant to equality for women.
[00:11:46]  I'm a feminist because same-sex marriage is a no-brainer.
[00:11:50]  Because in 34 states, it's legal to discriminate against someone who's transgender.
[00:11:54]  Really?
[00:11:54]  Really?
[00:11:55]  You don't have to be a feminist to oppose this.
[00:11:57]  I think it's wrong to discriminate against gays and transsexuals too.
[00:12:00]  And I think the last thing anyone would call me is a fucking feminist.
[00:12:04]  I'm a feminist because representation!
[00:12:06]  It matters!
[00:12:08]  In LGBT votes, women, and particularly women of colour, hardly ever have their stories told on screen.
[00:12:13]  And how much of the audience come into that category?
[00:12:17]  I doubt it's five fucking percent.
[00:12:20]  I'm a feminist because I believe that the world should be safe for girls.
[00:12:24]  But not men because all men are rapists.
[00:12:26]  Everywhere.
[00:12:27]  Because half the girls in Yemen will become child brides.
[00:12:29]  Because 65% of Brazilians believe that a woman who dresses in revealing clothes deserves to be raped.
[00:12:34]  Because in Saudi Arabia, women still can't vote or drive.
[00:12:37]  Thanks for pointing out the places that I may likely move to.
[00:12:39]  Seriously though, well done for actually getting to the places that actually need feminism.
[00:12:46]  Notice the disparity between the toys in Toys R Us and the fact that women aren't allowed out by themselves, not able to drive, and they have to wear incredibly covering clothing and whatnot.
[00:12:57]  Do you see the difference?
[00:12:59]  This is called false equivalency.
[00:13:01]  These aren't the same fucking thing.
[00:13:03]  This didn't happen because Saudi Arabia actually was a really liberal and open society.
[00:13:09]  And then Toys R Us came in, started dividing the toys into gender-specific aisles, and then boom, women aren't allowed out of the house, they're not allowed to drive, and they're not treated as people.
[00:13:19]  I'm a feminist because in every corner of the world, every day, women's bodies are used as a battleground in wars started by men.
[00:13:26]  Raped, beaten, sold into slavery, mutilated, burned with acid.
[00:13:29]  I'm a feminist.
[00:13:30]  I'm a feminist because I'm so fucking stupid to think that the consequences of a war are the causes of a war.
[00:13:37]  And it's because when I dare to get pissed off at injustice, I'm just another angry feminist who's on her period.
[00:13:47]  If you had some actual injustices, people wouldn't dismiss you.
[00:13:51]  I'm a feminist because of the reality that there are people who would take these words more seriously.
[00:13:55]  If they are coming out of my mouth.
[00:13:57]  He hasn't said anything stupid yet.
[00:14:00]  If he said loads of stupid stuff, we wouldn't listen to him either.
[00:14:06]  Most of all, I'm a feminist because I believe in gender equality.
[00:14:09]  And my eyes are open.
[00:14:10]  My mind is active.
[00:14:12]  Liar.
[00:14:13]  I know.
[00:14:13]  We're not there yet.
[00:14:15]  Yet, obviously being unchallengeable female superiority.