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Feb. 5, 2014 - Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin
10:20
I need feminism because I am against equality
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Time Text
Hello again.
I've actually uh got loads of these.
I need feminism because I have brain damage pictures left.
So I thought I may as well use them because frankly I like taking the piss out of these people.
Enjoy.
I need feminism because women can be doctors too.
I'm pretty sure that medical school will be more useful.
I need feminism because my gender does not define me, I define myself.
It'll come as a complete surprise when it turns out you define yourself as a woman.
I need feminism because whenever I tell people my father has six daughters and no sons, they always reply with, oh your poor father.
Oh your poor fucking father indeed.
I know you, miss centre of the universe, do not understand this, but your father is a person of his own and he has had to deal with six fucking daughters.
My girlfriend has a daughter and she is hoping for a son next.
I wonder why.
It's probably because she needs fucking feminism, isn't it?
I need feminism because ain't nobody got time for heteronormativity.
Except almost everybody.
I need feminism because I'm sick of people being shocked when I say I never want children.
Well, you are going to have to get feminism to persuade every other woman not to want children then, because believe it or not, most women, and when I say most, I mean the overwhelming majority, they do want children.
And so other people have noticed this and think, oh right, women, in general, want children.
And then when a woman comes along and says, I really don't want children, it's like a man saying, you know what, I really don't want sex.
Everyone's like, what?
Why?
What's wrong with you?
That's really abnormal for a woman.
I need feminism because everyone can make their own sandwiches.
Oh, that means everyone should make their own sandwiches.
That means you shouldn't do anything for anyone else.
You should only do things for yourself.
Because feminism is, fundamentally, a movement about phenomenal self-involvement and incredible self-centeredness.
I need feminism because when I grow up, I could have a high-flying job or I could have a family.
I'd rather have both.
Well, that means you don't want a high-flying job.
You would rather have the family, but you have been brainwashed into thinking you should have a high-flying job.
This is why you are suffering such cognitive dissonance.
A family, for a woman, is a large investment.
You know, women tend to want to spend a lot of time with their children, and understandably so.
You know, they need a lot of time off when they're pregnant.
Being pregnant is not an easy job.
And I'm just looking at it from an observer's point of view.
I don't know what it must be like to actually do it.
I can't imagine.
It must be horrible.
Must be really difficult.
Must be a real challenge.
But that means you can't spend 80 hours a week in the boardroom yelling at other businesses for, you know, and out doing your competition.
You only have enough time.
And what you clearly really actually rather want is not the job.
Otherwise, you wouldn't even mention the family.
You'd just get on with it.
You'd be too busy to hold this stupid fucking sign-up and look like an idiot.
You'd be too busy to hold this stupid fucking sign-up and look like an idiot!
I need feminism because I don't want my gender to make choices for me.
Unfortunately, love, it does.
It's just a fact of life.
You can need feminism all you want, but it's not going to stop you having periods.
You're never going to qualify for the men's Olympics.
There are a lot of things your gender will prevent you from doing.
You know what?
My gender makes choices for me too.
I'm never going to be a mother.
I have a funny feeling that I might need feminism too.
I need feminism because I make too many misogynistic comments after being raised by a single mother.
You know what?
I can tell you were raised by a single mother because you're not thinking about doing anything for your fucking self.
You're going to sit back and hope someone else fixes it for you.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You are in control of your life.
don't have to make any comments you don't want to and it could I actually feel a bit bad for you because I think you're not making misogynistic comments I just think that every woman around you is telling you that they're misogynistic because they're coming from you, a man.
Not because they are actually inherently misogynistic.
But to be honest with you, I know that a lot of men raised by single mothers really wish they hadn't been.
So if you were a bit misogynistic, you probably have good reason.
I need feminism because I'm tired of being told to calm down when I disagree with something.
This plank of wood is well known for its histrionics and it really does need to calm the fuck down when it disagrees with something.
I'm guessing whoever wrote this, if you aren't just a plank of wood, you probably get hysterical when you're disagreeing with something, which is why people tell you to calm down.
People do not tell calm people to calm down.
I need feminism because I'm tired of being scared.
Rape, assault, groped.
Disrespected.
Not having equal opportunities ignored.
These are my biggest fears.
You know, you don't have to be scared.
You don't have to go wallow in bullshit feminist statistics that make it sound like every man on earth is a rapist and is just on the prowl constantly.
The feminists don't have a realistic world view.
They don't look at the world as it actually is.
They look at the world as the nightmare dystopia that they actually want it to be.
Don't get me wrong, it is becoming a nightmare dystopia, but not in the way you're thinking.
It's becoming a nightmare dystopia for anyone who has an independent thought and who has a thought away from the group and who doesn't actually agree that everyone is a giant fucking pussy.
Of course, you are a giant fucking pussy, so you probably do need feminism.
But at the end of the day, you're not helping anyone.
You're not even helping yourself.
You're just reducing everyone else to your level.
Which is shit.
I need feminism because whenever I tell someone that I'm a feminist, they laugh.
Especially women.
Those traitors!
How dare they betray the sisterhood?
How do they think the war on men is ever going to be won when they keep siding with the enemy?
Those bitches.
I need feminism because I want to live in a world where girls and boys have the same expectations and choices.
This may well have read, I need feminism because I want left-handed things to be the same as right-handed things.
Some things are just fundamentally different.
That doesn't make them wrong, it doesn't make them bad.
It just means you have to accept differences.
I thought that was what tolerance was all about.
I need feminism because I need to show my dad that I can be a doctor and not someone's assistant.
Your dad was probably just giving you a realistic assessment of your personal capabilities.
I need feminism because never having experienced street harassment shouldn't make me feel unattractive.
See, this is why feminism is never actually going to win.
All you're going to do is piss a lot of people off, confuse a lot of people who don't know any better because, like this woman, they're fucking idiots, and eventually it's just going to lead into a quagmire that's just going to collapse in on itself.
Because, like it is at the moment.
Because it has no idea what it wants.
It wants mutually contradictory things.
You want there to be no street harassment.
And then when you're not being harassed on the street, you don't ascribe that to the success of feminism.
You ascribe that to you being a munter.
But okay, let's have a think about this.
What can we do about this?
We could create a quota.
We could actively employ someone to go and harass you on the street.
Because we know that feminists love quotas.
God forbid the world be run on merit or anything crazy like that.
But then that's just reinforcing the issue that feminism claims that there is.
And I'm sure that there is.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
But it's never going to go away if we're then making people harass you in the street so you feel a little bit better.
It's just going to make you say, oh, now I need feminism even more because I was harassed.
Even though feminism was the cause of your harassment because we had to make someone harass you because I can only assume feminism was doing a good job and not because you've got a face like a brick.
i need feminism because my opinion matters less than those of women people of colour trans and queer folk and feminism reminds us why Right, let's take a close look at this.
Because he is a white man, his opinion matters less.
It is entirely about what he is and not who he is.
Nothing he can do will ever change the fact that, in the eyes of feminists, his opinion will always be second rate.
This is the problem with feminism.
It is literally about demonizing other people.
No movement should ever say someone's opinion is worth less than another's.
Opinions are all equally valid because they are opinions, even when they're misspelled.
This poor guy is literally a victim, and I don't like using that word, and I don't use it lightly, but this guy is a victim of a toxic, sick ideology that is telling him on nothing more than what he was born, he is lesser.
He is not as good, he is not acceptable, and he is the one who is responsible for that.
Fuck feminism in its fucking ass.
Feminism is about equality.
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