Sargon of Akkad - Carl Benjamin - I need feminism because I am against equality
Aired: 2014-02-05
Duration: 10:20


=== I Need Feminism Because (08:36) ===

[00:00:00]  Hello again.
[00:00:01]  I've actually uh got loads of these.
[00:00:03]  I need feminism because I have brain damage pictures left.
[00:00:06]  So I thought I may as well use them because frankly I like taking the piss out of these people.
[00:00:11]  Enjoy.
[00:00:13]  I need feminism because women can be doctors too.
[00:00:16]  I'm pretty sure that medical school will be more useful.
[00:00:21]  I need feminism because my gender does not define me, I define myself.
[00:00:25]  It'll come as a complete surprise when it turns out you define yourself as a woman.
[00:00:31]  I need feminism because whenever I tell people my father has six daughters and no sons, they always reply with, oh your poor father.
[00:00:39]  Oh your poor fucking father indeed.
[00:00:42]  I know you, miss centre of the universe, do not understand this, but your father is a person of his own and he has had to deal with six fucking daughters.
[00:00:52]  My girlfriend has a daughter and she is hoping for a son next.
[00:00:56]  I wonder why.
[00:00:58]  It's probably because she needs fucking feminism, isn't it?
[00:01:02]  I need feminism because ain't nobody got time for heteronormativity.
[00:01:07]  Except almost everybody.
[00:01:10]  I need feminism because I'm sick of people being shocked when I say I never want children.
[00:01:16]  Well, you are going to have to get feminism to persuade every other woman not to want children then, because believe it or not, most women, and when I say most, I mean the overwhelming majority, they do want children.
[00:01:31]  And so other people have noticed this and think, oh right, women, in general, want children.
[00:01:36]  And then when a woman comes along and says, I really don't want children, it's like a man saying, you know what, I really don't want sex.
[00:01:42]  Everyone's like, what?
[00:01:44]  Why?
[00:01:44]  What's wrong with you?
[00:01:46]  That's really abnormal for a woman.
[00:01:50]  I need feminism because everyone can make their own sandwiches.
[00:01:54]  Oh, that means everyone should make their own sandwiches.
[00:01:57]  That means you shouldn't do anything for anyone else.
[00:01:59]  You should only do things for yourself.
[00:02:01]  Because feminism is, fundamentally, a movement about phenomenal self-involvement and incredible self-centeredness.
[00:02:10]  I need feminism because when I grow up, I could have a high-flying job or I could have a family.
[00:02:15]  I'd rather have both.
[00:02:17]  Well, that means you don't want a high-flying job.
[00:02:21]  You would rather have the family, but you have been brainwashed into thinking you should have a high-flying job.
[00:02:27]  This is why you are suffering such cognitive dissonance.
[00:02:30]  A family, for a woman, is a large investment.
[00:02:34]  You know, women tend to want to spend a lot of time with their children, and understandably so.
[00:02:39]  You know, they need a lot of time off when they're pregnant.
[00:02:42]  Being pregnant is not an easy job.
[00:02:44]  And I'm just looking at it from an observer's point of view.
[00:02:47]  I don't know what it must be like to actually do it.
[00:02:49]  I can't imagine.
[00:02:50]  It must be horrible.
[00:02:51]  Must be really difficult.
[00:02:52]  Must be a real challenge.
[00:02:53]  But that means you can't spend 80 hours a week in the boardroom yelling at other businesses for, you know, and out doing your competition.
[00:03:01]  You only have enough time.
[00:03:03]  And what you clearly really actually rather want is not the job.
[00:03:08]  Otherwise, you wouldn't even mention the family.
[00:03:09]  You'd just get on with it.
[00:03:11]  You'd be too busy to hold this stupid fucking sign-up and look like an idiot.
[00:03:12]  You'd be too busy to hold this stupid fucking sign-up and look like an idiot!
[00:03:22]  I need feminism because I don't want my gender to make choices for me.
[00:03:27]  Unfortunately, love, it does.
[00:03:30]  It's just a fact of life.
[00:03:32]  You can need feminism all you want, but it's not going to stop you having periods.
[00:03:37]  You're never going to qualify for the men's Olympics.
[00:03:40]  There are a lot of things your gender will prevent you from doing.
[00:03:43]  You know what?
[00:03:44]  My gender makes choices for me too.
[00:03:46]  I'm never going to be a mother.
[00:03:48]  I have a funny feeling that I might need feminism too.
[00:03:52]  I need feminism because I make too many misogynistic comments after being raised by a single mother.
[00:03:58]  You know what?
[00:03:58]  I can tell you were raised by a single mother because you're not thinking about doing anything for your fucking self.
[00:04:03]  You're going to sit back and hope someone else fixes it for you.
[00:04:07]  What the fuck are you talking about?
[00:04:09]  You are in control of your life.
[00:04:11]  don't have to make any comments you don't want to and it could I actually feel a bit bad for you because I think you're not making misogynistic comments I just think that every woman around you is telling you that they're misogynistic because they're coming from you, a man.
[00:04:27]  Not because they are actually inherently misogynistic.
[00:04:31]  But to be honest with you, I know that a lot of men raised by single mothers really wish they hadn't been.
[00:04:39]  So if you were a bit misogynistic, you probably have good reason.
[00:04:44]  I need feminism because I'm tired of being told to calm down when I disagree with something.
[00:04:49]  This plank of wood is well known for its histrionics and it really does need to calm the fuck down when it disagrees with something.
[00:04:57]  I'm guessing whoever wrote this, if you aren't just a plank of wood, you probably get hysterical when you're disagreeing with something, which is why people tell you to calm down.
[00:05:08]  People do not tell calm people to calm down.
[00:05:12]  I need feminism because I'm tired of being scared.
[00:05:15]  Rape, assault, groped.
[00:05:17]  Disrespected.
[00:05:18]  Not having equal opportunities ignored.
[00:05:21]  These are my biggest fears.
[00:05:23]  You know, you don't have to be scared.
[00:05:27]  You don't have to go wallow in bullshit feminist statistics that make it sound like every man on earth is a rapist and is just on the prowl constantly.
[00:05:38]  The feminists don't have a realistic world view.
[00:05:42]  They don't look at the world as it actually is.
[00:05:44]  They look at the world as the nightmare dystopia that they actually want it to be.
[00:05:47]  Don't get me wrong, it is becoming a nightmare dystopia, but not in the way you're thinking.
[00:05:51]  It's becoming a nightmare dystopia for anyone who has an independent thought and who has a thought away from the group and who doesn't actually agree that everyone is a giant fucking pussy.
[00:06:03]  Of course, you are a giant fucking pussy, so you probably do need feminism.
[00:06:08]  But at the end of the day, you're not helping anyone.
[00:06:10]  You're not even helping yourself.
[00:06:12]  You're just reducing everyone else to your level.
[00:06:15]  Which is shit.
[00:06:17]  I need feminism because whenever I tell someone that I'm a feminist, they laugh.
[00:06:22]  Especially women.
[00:06:24]  Those traitors!
[00:06:25]  How dare they betray the sisterhood?
[00:06:27]  How do they think the war on men is ever going to be won when they keep siding with the enemy?
[00:06:33]  Those bitches.
[00:06:37]  I need feminism because I want to live in a world where girls and boys have the same expectations and choices.
[00:06:43]  This may well have read, I need feminism because I want left-handed things to be the same as right-handed things.
[00:06:50]  Some things are just fundamentally different.
[00:06:52]  That doesn't make them wrong, it doesn't make them bad.
[00:06:55]  It just means you have to accept differences.
[00:06:57]  I thought that was what tolerance was all about.
[00:07:00]  I need feminism because I need to show my dad that I can be a doctor and not someone's assistant.
[00:07:05]  Your dad was probably just giving you a realistic assessment of your personal capabilities.
[00:07:11]  I need feminism because never having experienced street harassment shouldn't make me feel unattractive.
[00:07:21]  See, this is why feminism is never actually going to win.
[00:07:26]  All you're going to do is piss a lot of people off, confuse a lot of people who don't know any better because, like this woman, they're fucking idiots, and eventually it's just going to lead into a quagmire that's just going to collapse in on itself.
[00:07:42]  Because, like it is at the moment.
[00:07:43]  Because it has no idea what it wants.
[00:07:46]  It wants mutually contradictory things.
[00:07:48]  You want there to be no street harassment.
[00:07:51]  And then when you're not being harassed on the street, you don't ascribe that to the success of feminism.
[00:07:56]  You ascribe that to you being a munter.
[00:07:58]  But okay, let's have a think about this.
[00:08:00]  What can we do about this?
[00:08:02]  We could create a quota.
[00:08:04]  We could actively employ someone to go and harass you on the street.
[00:08:10]  Because we know that feminists love quotas.
[00:08:12]  God forbid the world be run on merit or anything crazy like that.
[00:08:16]  But then that's just reinforcing the issue that feminism claims that there is.

=== Opinions Matter Equally (01:59) ===

[00:08:21]  And I'm sure that there is.
[00:08:22]  I mean, don't get me wrong.
[00:08:24]  But it's never going to go away if we're then making people harass you in the street so you feel a little bit better.
[00:08:31]  It's just going to make you say, oh, now I need feminism even more because I was harassed.
[00:08:36]  Even though feminism was the cause of your harassment because we had to make someone harass you because I can only assume feminism was doing a good job and not because you've got a face like a brick.
[00:08:56]  i need feminism because my opinion matters less than those of women people of colour trans and queer folk and feminism reminds us why Right, let's take a close look at this.
[00:09:11]  Because he is a white man, his opinion matters less.
[00:09:15]  It is entirely about what he is and not who he is.
[00:09:20]  Nothing he can do will ever change the fact that, in the eyes of feminists, his opinion will always be second rate.
[00:09:29]  This is the problem with feminism.
[00:09:32]  It is literally about demonizing other people.
[00:09:36]  No movement should ever say someone's opinion is worth less than another's.
[00:09:42]  Opinions are all equally valid because they are opinions, even when they're misspelled.
[00:09:49]  This poor guy is literally a victim, and I don't like using that word, and I don't use it lightly, but this guy is a victim of a toxic, sick ideology that is telling him on nothing more than what he was born, he is lesser.
[00:10:08]  He is not as good, he is not acceptable, and he is the one who is responsible for that.
[00:10:14]  Fuck feminism in its fucking ass.
[00:10:18]  Feminism is about equality.