| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| January 25th, Neverquit Wrestling is bringing a new year in with the Fall River Rumble in Fall River, Massachusetts at the VFW. | |
| But I noticed that Northeast Openweight Champion Hack Robinson, known as a badass baboon, he doesn't have an opponent. | |
| So I, Bayan Dambadondi, the unified AWL United States Highway Champion, issue an open challenge, title for title, champion versus champion at the Fall River Rumble. | |
| So if you are truly a badass, you will accept this challenge. | |
| The Badass Baboon! | |
| Today, I should be ecstatic over the moon. | |
| Today is my birthday, but no, I'm not. | |
| I'm kind of pissed off because January 25th, Fall River Rumble, I was going to enjoy a bunch of morons beating each other for a number one contender spot for my Northeastern Open Weight Championship. | |
| No, no, no, no. | |
| An outsider of all people has challenged me to a champion versus champion. | |
| And that idiot, Mason Mars, signs off on it. | |
| So guess what? | |
| I'm going to have to lace up my shoes once more and eat the Bionic Man's ass. | |
| I don't care if you hold two titles because one of those is about to become mine. | |
| I am the badass baboon, Hack Robinson. | |
| I'm the man who brought gold back to the brotherhood. | |
| And you know what? | |
| I'll see you and everyone else there. | |
| Think this is funny. | |
| You think this is funny? | |
| Not at all. | |
| Thinking that I had a day off and now I got to work? | |
| No, you're going to get the worst of it. |