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Aug. 4, 1995 - Bill Cooper
59:21
Allyson D. Cooper
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Time Text
Folks, due to my ineptness after the birth of my daughter, Allison, I forgot to turn on a key piece of equipment.
So the first few minutes of this tape are dead air space, and then the broadcast begins.
Thank you for your understanding and for your patience.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Once upon a good old movie, the good old frog had a silly big frog.
The End
You're listening to the Hour of the Time.
I'm William Cooper.
Sorry we signed on late tonight, folks, but we're all fried around here.
And I mean fried.
I forgot to turn on a key piece of equipment.
And in just a few moments, you're going to find out why.
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Well, folks, I really don't know where to begin.
But, as in all good stories, I must begin once upon a time.
Once upon a time in the West, as a matter of fact.
Now, I don't... There we go.
Yesterday, I was busy.
Defragmenting hard drives and loading new fax and answering mailbox program, all of that kind of stuff.
And Annie had gone to Show Low and Taylor to get the mail with Pooh.
And she came back and didn't say anything, and I just kept on working.
And then, lo and behold, about two hours before broadcast time, And he came in and said her stomach was hurting a little bit.
And I'd noticed that she was going up and down the stairs.
She'd go down to the kitchen, and then she'd come up to the mid-level.
We have a tri-level.
And then she'd go into the bedroom, and then I'd see her go back, and then she'd go down the stairs.
And I thought, you know, are you trying out for the Olympics in Atlanta, or what?
She said, uh, no, I just don't feel good.
I don't want to sit still.
So, uh, she disappeared for a little while.
Came back and, uh, said she wanted to go to the doctor.
So I said, fine, and I've been through this before, so I told her to go pack her little bag and lay down on the bed and stay there for a little while and see what happens.
Well, she kept going up and down the stairs again.
Finally made her go lay down on the bed.
And she had her little backpack.
And then pretty soon she said she had to go.
And then, then was when she told me that a major indication that a baby was going to be born happened in Taylor.
Way earlier that afternoon, her water broke.
And she was in the process of, at that time, Telling me that she was having contractions every five minutes.
Here it is almost broadcast time, and I had to hurriedly call Gary Bourgeois, who, by the way, folks, we owe a great round of applause because he's the one who takes care of our reruns when I can't be here.
And I'll especially thank him yesterday on such short notice that he did A rerun broadcast.
I apologize that it wasn't a less played rerun, but this was totally unexpected.
I mean, it wasn't unexpected, but it was unexpected, if you understand what I mean.
So, it's 50 miles to the hospital on winding country mountain roads.
And of course, every police car in Arizona has a radar.
So I hooked up the ECM, the electronic countermeasures, and loaded Annie and Pooh into the Bronco.
and he's having contractions every five minutes, and Pooh looks like she's seen a ghost and doesn't really understand what's going on, even though we had bought her a book explaining pregnancy and babies and all of that kind of stuff,
and I had read it to her and with her and she'd asked questions and we talked about the questions and the answers and I thought she understood but she didn't really and that will be a little obvious a little later so Annie's in the Bronco and
has a reclining seat on that side but she doesn't want to put the seat down and recline and she's got a seat belt around her and a shoulder strap and you know a womb full of baby.
and And I knew she wasn't comfortable.
There wasn't really much I could do about it.
I had my hands full on the road.
And by the way folks, at this time of year, it's not unusual to find big, giant, 2,000 pound elk standing right in the middle of the highway.
Or deer crossing.
And occasionally, even a whole herd of antelope.
I had to be very careful.
It was twilight and it's so difficult to see things in twilight.
And I was trying to exceed the limit, so to speak, without getting caught, knowing that if I didn't make it to that hospital, and she was already having contractions five minutes apart, that it's possible that that baby was going to be born on that road.
Last time I helped give birth to a baby was in Vietnam many, many years ago, and to tell you the truth, I don't even remember what I did.
So we raced down the highway and ran into a whole convoy of highway repair, highway construction equipment, you know, the ones that lay down the tar stuff and spread it and they creep like One half mile an hour.
It wasn't just one or two, it was a whole long line of these things.
Now this, needless to say, made me a little nervous.
Made Annie a lot nervous.
And Pooh was trying to talk to Annie and tell her how much she loved her and she knew Annie was in pain and every once in a while Annie would yell out a few yelps like a wolf howling at the moon.
Poor Poo would be beside herself wanting to comfort her mother and not really even knowing what was wrong.
And her mother, of course, at times, being in the condition she was, would snap at both of us.
Leave me alone!
Drive faster!
Oh, it hurts!
You know, that kind of stuff.
And it's not funny.
I mean, it wasn't funny to her at all.
It's kind of funny looking back on it for all of us, but at the time it wasn't funny.
And Pooh was beside herself.
And I'm trying to explain to Pooh what's going on and how her mother feels and where we're going while I'm driving.
Hoping not to come across an elk in the road or a deer or a herd of deer.
and then I had to pass this long line of highway construction equipment in the twilight not knowing if there was some fool in the other lane coming toward me with no lights on in one of these sort of gray cars that you can't see during twilight and as we began to get closer to the hospital her contractions began to get closer together until it wasn't five minutes apart
it was more like two minutes apart.
And I began to get very, very nervous.
And I and Annie and Boo, all of us, were extremely happy to get to that hospital, and nothing had transpired up to that point.
Except an awful lot of sweat and nervousness and screaming and yelling and all kinds of things.
But we got there and we got her in.
Went right into the room and they stripped her down and put her in the bed and put all kinds of wires and tubes and microphones and stuff on her and then it began to become clear to everybody what was happening.
And just how far along it was, because right there on that monitor, right in front of me, was the baby's heartbeat.
And it was wonderful.
And then he was on the bed and the contractions were coming faster and faster and faster.
And the nurse looked up at me and she said, I need to examine her cervix.
She'd gone to the doctor yesterday.
He told her that he would check her dilation next week.
Little did he know, if he'd have checked her yesterday, we wouldn't have been up against the wall like we were.
But we were up against the wall because I took Pooh out of the hallway.
Pooh and I played toss the teddy bear.
For a few minutes, the nurse came out and said, if she's going to deliver any second, would you help me wheel her bed into the delivery room?
So I did.
No sooner did we get into the delivery room and get her transferred over to the delivery table, I guess it's called, and get her legs in those weird things that you would catch me dead with my legs in them.
The doctor walked in and took one look and he started bearing down and...
Let me backtrack a little bit.
See, when Pooh was born, this all really took us by surprise, because when Pooh was born, folks, Annie was in labor for twelve hours.
And it was just as excruciating for me as it was for her.
And, uh, there were times during that 12 hours where I could, I swear, I felt exactly what she felt.
And, uh, so, last night was a big shock.
I mean, we were expecting not as long, because I've talked to many women who've given several births, and they say that the second time isn't as hard or as long.
But I didn't expect it to be, like, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
It's all over.
And neither did Annie, but she was thankful for that.
But I'll tell you, I think Annie suffered a little more pain this time than she did with Pooh.
I mean, the screams were primal.
They came from somewhere that I can't touch.
And so it touched me deeply.
And at one point, she took a deep breath and bore down and pushed, and then when she let out this breath, that just this primal scream came out.
And in the scream, she said, Oh, honey, I'm hurt.
And I gotta tell you folks, something primal in me let loose.
I mean, I could feel the adrenaline rushing and I was ready to fight.
I wanted to kill somebody to stop her from being hurt.
And I don't know where that comes from, but I think it's in all of us.
And I had to really hold that back because I think that's the instinct in men that has been bred over the centuries to protect our women.
Boy, there it was, welling up in me.
And all of a sudden, Annie became superwoman.
She almost broke my arm a couple of times when, of course, she was holding my hands and I was holding her hands and trying to help her with her breathing.
And the next thing I knew, my arms were in positions that I never thought they could be in.
And of course, she didn't even realize she was doing it.
And then I saw the baby's head.
And I knew that it was almost over.
And at 8.36 last night, 8.36 p.m., our second daughter was born.
And Annie was able to lay back and breathe deeply and slowly.
And a smile came over her face.
The doctor did all the necessary things that he has to do.
He took the baby over and put it in the bassinet.
And in the meantime, Pooh had come to the delivery room with us.
Just followed the bed right in there.
I mean, this is the craziest hospital I ever saw.
Because when Pooh was born, they made me put on all kinds of weird things and scrub and put on a mask and a thing over my head and booties over my shoes.
And told me I could do this and couldn't do that and stand here and don't stand there. - This hospital, nobody said anything to anybody at any time.
You didn't have to put anything on or take anything off or stand anywhere.
I mean, I could have done anything I wanted, which is a big difference between big city hospitals and rural hospitals.
And it was wonderful.
So Pooh got to see a little bit of the beginnings of the birth of her little sister.
And I think that after the explanation in the car while we were on the way to the hospital and all of that stuff, I think she was deeply impressed and has a better understanding of what life's all about now than she did before.
And at some point, one of the nurses took her by the hand and took her down and bought her a Coke and set her in the chair.
Pooh sat there and cried for her mother for a little bit, because, as she told me later, she wanted to make her mother not hurt.
Pooh is a good little girl.
She's always been a good little girl.
And then, after the baby was born, Pooh came down, all by herself, pushed open the delivery room door, and came in to look at her little newborn baby sister.
And Pooh and I, because her mother had not been able to pick a name, had picked Allison Dovey Cooper.
Allison because Annie had expressed at some time within the last week that she liked that name.
and Dovey because that's my mother's name.
And who chose the speller?
She liked it with a Y. So her name is A-L-L-Y-S-O-N Allison Dovey Cooper.
And Pooh stayed in the delivery room after that, right up until the time that we all helped take Mom down to her room where she could sleep for the night.
When they put the baby in the bassinet in the delivery room after the baby had been born, the baby began to cry and wail and scream bloody murder.
And she just turned beet red all over and clenched her little fist just as hard as she could.
And I knew that she needed somebody to hold her.
That was very clear to me, and everybody was so busy that finally I asked the nurse if she could get the baby, and she did.
She brought the baby over, and folks, I held that baby in my arms, and she stopped crying instantly and just Opened her eyes, and I know the babies can't see at that point, but they'd already washed out her eyes, and she opened them up, and had the biggest, beautiful brown eyes, and just appeared to be looking at me, but I know, I'm not deluding myself, I know that she couldn't see a thing.
I know that she could hear my voice, though, and Pooh and I had spent many hours talking to her through her mommy's tummy before she was born.
And when I began to talk to her, she just soothed right down.
And I knew.
Well, I don't know where that came from.
I wonder if anybody does.
Well, I don't know where that came from I wonder if anybody does Let me just check what I've got here Because I don't even know what's Come on
Anyway, I held that little baby and she was just wrapped in a blanket I guess it was And I held her for a long time.
Quite a long time, as a matter of fact.
And, uh... As I said, she loved it.
She loved every single second of it.
She loves to be rocked.
She just settled right in.
Sort of, uh, went to sleep, if you will.
But she really wasn't asleep, and then I held her down so that Pooh could see her little baby sister.
And, uh, Pooh began to talk to her, and she opened her eyes, and it looked just exactly like she was looking at Pooh.
The most incredible thing I've ever seen.
It was like she knew who we were.
And maybe she did because of all the hours that we did spend talking to her through her mommy's tummy.
And so she was very comfortable with us.
She wasn't as comfortable with the nurse or with the doctor.
In fact, she didn't like that doctor at all after he had done what he had to do.
And then I stood back up with Allison and talk to her some more.
this folks is what she said to me To Daddy.
If I invite a boy from night to dine on my finances and have tea, I just don't want to ask him for more.
But my heart belongs to Daddy.
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy.
So I simply couldn't be better.
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy.
So I want to warn you, laddie.
Though I know that you're perfectly well.
That my heart belongs to Daddy.
Cause my daddy, he treats me.
So.
And that's the way that it ended up.
I had to give her back to the nurse.
I didn't want to.
I wanted to take her home, but of course I couldn't do that, and Annie couldn't go home anyway.
So the baby went back in the bassinet, and the bassinet disappeared to the nursery.
For the baby to be all cleaned off and weighed seven pounds, one ounce.
And I forget how long she was.
But to a big man like me, she's not very long.
I don't care how long she is.
She's just a little bitty, tiny, tiny little baby.
And I just love her dearly.
I loved her before she was born.
And I'll love her Until the day I die or the day she dies and beyond anyway.
So it really doesn't make any difference.
Now, Annie, everybody disappeared because all of a sudden we began to hear some screams from other parts of this place.
And everybody, the doctor, the nurses, everybody disappeared.
And there's Annie still laying on this table and not very comfortable.
And not finished.
And everybody disappeared.
And there's Pooh and I, and I'm trying to keep Pooh entertained and talk to her and tell her what's going on.
And Annie doesn't feel too good.
I've got to tell you that.
She felt a lot better than she did when she was giving birth, but she didn't feel too good at all.
She wanted some water in the worst kind of way.
Finally got her some ice water.
And she did the first thing that you're never supposed to do when you've gone through tremendous physical effort.
And you're real thirsty and real tired.
She wolfed down a half of a big giant cup.
And I don't mean cup like cup of coffee.
I mean big giant like, you know, these super whammo whopper deals you get at Circle K or places like that.
It looked like one of those big giant cups that they brought her ice water.
Well she sucked down about half of that before you could even blink an eye.
Poo and I played toss the teddy bear and talked to Mommy and held her hand and explained what happened and all that kind of stuff until people began to come back.
And then got Annie all finished and cleaned up and ready to go and we helped her off the table and into a wheelchair.
And that's when drinking that much water all of a sudden produced the inevitable result that all men who have ever performed hard labor in the sun and then have done the same thing have discovered it all comes right back up.
And that's what happened.
So we spent a while sort of getting anything.
Back to normal and cleaned up from that little episode, and then down to the room she went.
Well, by this time it was pretty late at night, and actually it was about ten minutes till ten, or I called Gary, and I believe that he announced the birth of our new baby girl at the end of the broadcast last night, for those of you who weren't listening.
And for those of you who called today to congratulate us, I'm sorry we weren't home.
Poo and I get up to-- Will, I'll tell you the rest of the story in a moment.
But we weren't here.
As you all discovered when you called, And I want to thank those of you who sent flowers and wished us well.
And thank Anthony Hilder and Daphne who called and left a wonderful message on the machine.
I couldn't believe it.
They sang a duet together and it really sounded good.
In fact, it sounded so good I couldn't figure out who this was for a few minutes.
It was Anthony J. Hilder and Daphne, his girlfriend.
And it was wonderful.
And thanks, Swiss America Trading, for the flowers that you sent and Allison's first little stuffed toy, which is a little stuffed pink pig.
And I bet she'll love it, and it'll probably be her favorite forever.
So everybody at Swiss America, thank you dearly for that.
Well, after we got Mom to her room where she could get into bed and relax for a while and not have to meet anybody's expectations of anything, and all her tests were done and everything, it was late. and all her tests were done and everything, it was And I still had to feed Pooh because we hadn't eaten anything, and whether or not I was hungry, I had this little five-year-old girl.
Who had just been going like a lightning ball all day, and I knew that she needed to be fed.
So we said our goodbyes to Mom, and Pooh and I walked out in the parking lot and got the Bronco, and then we sat there and just talked for a little bit, because I wanted to make sure that she was okay with all of this, and there wasn't any trauma that was going to come up later.
Because really, I was really surprised, folks, that she could just go anywhere she wanted, and she did.
Because we were all busy with other things, and nobody was really watching her, although I'm sure all the nurses were sort of keeping an eye on her, and if she'd have gotten in any trouble, they would have, you know, helped her out, whatever.
But this is a different kind of a place where we live.
It's one of the most beautiful places in this world.
And people here are more real people.
It's more like it used to be in other places in the country and is no more.
It's one of the reasons that I moved here.
This is like America used to be.
Everywhere, but is only like this in some places like this across this country now.
And you'll learn a little bit more about that later in this story, because it's surprising.
So Pua and I sat there and talked, and that's when I heard that the nurse took her down and put her in the little waiting room and gave her a Coke.
Actually, it wasn't Coke.
It was a Nestle's Grape, is what it was.
She told me how she had cried for her mommy because she didn't want her mommy to hurt so bad.
So we just talked, and I just asked her questions, and talked to her, and explained things to her, and she asked me questions.
She felt pretty good about all that, and I figured that it was all okay.
She was really happy with her baby sister.
We set off to get some chow, some food, some stuff in the belly.
And there were some restaurants along the way.
But I don't know if any of them were open.
I know that we passed the Jack in the Box and McDonald's, and even Pooh won't eat at McDonald's in this family.
We ate there.
Two places we'll never eat.
That's McDonald's and Burger King.
Anyplace else, it's fair game.
We passed the Jack in the Box and all kinds, but Pooh didn't want to eat in any of those places.
She didn't even want to stop and check and see if a restaurant was open.
She wanted to go to the Sonic Drive-In.
And she really likes the Sonic Drive-In, and so do I. But I didn't suggest that.
That was her idea, and that's where she wanted to go.
See, we have a 58 Chevy, and the Sonic Drive-In kind of takes you back to the 50s, so every once in a while I'd take her and her mom to the Sonic Drive-In and the 58 Chevy, and that just carried over into liking to go there all the time.
It's kind of like the old A&W Root Beer places.
They have real good hamburgers, not junky hamburgers, but good hamburgers, and good drinks, and limeade made from real limes, and stuff like that, you know?
Not limeade made from something that tastes almost like Kool-Aid, but not as good, you know?
So we went to the Sonic Drive-In, and Pooh ordered a hamburger and some fries and a Diet Coke, which turned out to be a Pepsi because they didn't sell Coke.
And I had a limeade and a steak sandwich and some onion rings.
And then we sat and talked some more.
Talked quite a bit, in fact.
Poo and I talked probably last night as much as we've ever talked.
Talked a lot.
And, you know, Poo and I have been friends from the day she was born, because when she was born she was having some problems and she wasn't too happy for about a week or two.
And she had some digestion problems, and so I would go to work in the morning, and Annie would be with her all day, and she'd clean the house, and all that kind of stuff.
And when I got home in the evening, I would sort of rest a little bit until it was time for Annie to go to bed, and then I would stay up with Pooh all night.
And I mean all night.
Sing to her, and hold her, and rock her, and we got to be best pals during that time.
And we've been best pals ever since.
And anybody that's ever seen us together will tell you that.
I mean, we're just good friends.
And always will be.
And I hope that Allison and I can develop that kind of relationship also.
And I'm sure that we will.
And then it came time to drive home.
By that time it was really late.
I mean, really late.
And we had to get up this morning and then go and get Annie and the baby.
So we drove home, and being as it was so late and we were so tired, and I mean really tired, folks, really tired, and there was a possibility that there would be elk or deer or antelope on the road, and we did the speed limit.
Exactly.
And Pooh was so tired and so sleepy, and she just couldn't keep her eyes open, even though I'd asked her to help me keep an eye out for the animals.
At one point, she said, Poppy, I just can't keep my eyes open.
I'm just so sleepy.
I said, Are you going to help me watch for elk?
I just can't keep my eyes open.
And then that's the last I heard from her until we got home.
We live a long way from the hospital.
When we got home, I woke her up, and we went inside.
Pooh went right to bed, and I tucked her in.
And then I made a couple of calls.
And I went to bed about thirty minutes later.
Out like a light.
Until about sometime around two in the morning, when Sugar Bear began to bark.
He's a wonderful watchdog, and when he barks, you must pay attention.
Because he didn't just bark for nothing.
He's not one of these dogs that just barks.
He only barks if something's wrong.
So I got up at about two in the morning, and by golly, there were two cars up here where they're not supposed to be.
And they were police cars, and that made my heart race a little bit because I had no idea what they were doing up here.
And I watched them for a little while, for about an hour, I guess, until I figured that they were on a stakeout on the houses below us, which they've done in the past.
And then at a certain point, they both turned on their lights and went racing down the hill and spotlights all over the place.
So I know that somebody had reported a burglar down in the town off the mountain from where we were, and they were just using that spot to do some reconnaissance, I guess.
Anyway, so that took about an hour and a half out of the night.
And I went back to sleep and woke up this morning, and by golly, you know, you really miss Annie when she's not around, and you've got a five-year-old girl to get ready to go, because Pooh wanted a ponytail, and try as I might, I couldn't because Pooh wanted a ponytail, and try as I might, I couldn't make a ponytail that didn't
So we didn't have a ponytail this morning, and Pooh couldn't find her socks, and we couldn't go to the hospital unless she had some socks.
So we finally found her some red socks, and one of them had a big hole in it.
She was uncomfortable for a while, and then she finally said, I'm used to the hole, Poppy.
We can go now.
So we did.
Oh, and she couldn't find any toothpaste, because her mother had taken the toothpaste to the hospital.
So we finally found some toothpaste and got her teeth brushed, and my teeth brushed, and off we went.
Driving to the hospital and Annie is expecting us there early.
The nurses and doctors are expecting us there early.
And we get to the park where the night before we had passed this long convoy of road construction equipment.
Well, folks, they were back.
They were back with a vengeance and they were all over the place.
The road was blocked and they had this guy out there with a red flag and a stop sign and they said, you can't go.
I said, how long is it going to be?
Oh, maybe 15 or 20 minutes or maybe 30 minutes.
Oh boy.
So Pooh and I sat there and talked about the baby and about the night before and about what we were going to do that day and how nice it was going to be to get the baby home.
Who wanted to know how to hold a baby and all of that kind of stuff?
That's what we talked about.
But it wasn't just 15 minutes.
And it wasn't just 20 minutes.
And it wasn't just 30 minutes.
And I was getting ready to pull all my press credentials out and slap that card up there in front of the windshield and put that Bronco in four-wheel drive and take down the shoulder.
When all of a sudden, out of nowhere, And then comes this follow-me truck.
And they let us all go.
And so we got there late.
And, of course, Annie wanted to know why we were there late.
As if, you know, we weren't occupied with anything.
So we had to explain why we were late.
And then we went down to see the baby in the nursery.
And they told us that Annie could go home, but the baby couldn't.
Whoa, I start feeling this adrenaline again.
Uh-uh.
No, no, no.
You're messing with my family.
What do you mean my baby can't go home?
She had an elevated white blood cell count.
Something else.
I forget what it was.
I knew perfectly well what it was this morning, and I knew perfectly well what it was before I started this broadcast, and now it's just disappeared right out of my brain cells.
And I'm still very tired.
I haven't had any sleep today.
And about the only one that's had any rest, and the one that needs it most, of course, is Annie.
And she should have a lot of rest.
But anyway, the the gist of the thing was is we had to wait around till 11 o'clock to find these tests that came through to see if we could take Allison home.
And if everything wasn't really right, I didn't really want to take her home.
But if we could, I did want to take her home.
I don't know if you understand what I'm talking about.
I wanted to take my baby home.
But I didn't want to take her home if taking her home was going to endanger her in any way.
So we waited until 11 o'clock.
And eleven o'clock became twelve o'clock, and finally we began to ask questions, and they brought all this paperwork in for us to do.
And one of the indications, folks, that this is still like America used to be, they gave me all this paperwork, which I told them to take and stuff it, you know, where the sun don't shine, but not in those words.
I was very nice, because these are very nice people.
They're all nurses and doctors who are just doing what other people tell them to do.
But very nicely, I told them to take this stuff and stick it where the sun don't shine.
We don't give social security numbers.
We don't fill this stuff out.
We don't sign birth certificates.
We don't do these things.
We don't dance.
And you know what?
Nobody batted an eyebrow.
Nobody cared.
One of the nurses says, Oh, you don't pay any taxes, do you?
I said, I pay all legal and lawful taxes, which I am required to pay.
But I am not a taxpayer.
And she just smiled.
The other nurse says, well, is this a, you know, when I gave her some papers that she wanted me to sign and stuff, and I said, well, we don't, we don't do these things.
And she said, is that your personal preference or is there some other reason?
I said, well, I've done a lot of study on these subjects and we don't sign these things.
She said, okay.
And left.
And I love it.
So, the baby stayed because the white blood cell count had actually elevated, gone up quite a bit.
So, what that means, basically, is she's either been exposed to an infection in utero, or utera, or however that's pronounced, in uterine, before she was born, or She has some kind of small infection which could be a large infection if it's not treated properly.
So we left her there to have it treated properly, and we'll go back again tomorrow.
Whether she's ready to go or not makes no difference.
I'm going back bright and early tomorrow morning to see my little daughter and hold her and tell her that I love her so she's assured that she's not alone in this world.
And I saw the nurses there who were very, very nice ladies, and they were holding the babies and talking to them and treating them very well.
So when we left, we had ordered a crib from J.C.
Penney, and they had promised that it would be here last week, ladies and gentlemen.
But the girl who took Annie's order neglected to put it into the computer, so the crib will not be here until Tuesday.
So when we left the hospital with Annie, we went down to the flower shop where I had already ordered a beautiful bouquet of roses specially done just for her.
And because we have to drive so far back home in Arizona, I had them put these little glass vials of water and some kind of special thing in there that keeps them fresh for the trip home.
And then I had to go find That's something for the baby to sleep in until Tuesday.
Because I'm not the kind of father that just pulls out a drawer and throws his baby in the drawer.
I don't do that.
This is my daughter.
You've got to understand this is my little child.
So I had to have something nice.
At least a picnic basket.
Something.
And actually I bought her a beautiful bassinet.
And so she'll be sleeping in that bassinet When she comes home, hopefully tomorrow.
If it's not tomorrow, it will be very soon.
And I'm just as pleased as Punch.
Pooh is just as happy as can be.
In fact, about three hours ago, Pooh came down and said, I want to give Allison a present.
And I thought that was really nice.
So Pooh disappeared into her bedroom.
Then she came back and said, what kind of present can I give her?
I told her it had to be something very small, but bigger than her mouth, because babies put everything in their mouth, and you can't have anything that will fit in her mouth.
It had to be soft and cuddly, and something that she would really feel good touching.
Because that's what babies do.
For a while, they just touch, you know?
And mostly, they want to put something in their mouth.
It's usually a nipple or a bottle.
And that's all they care about for a while.
Well, Pooh disappeared into her room and dug into just about every box and corner and hole that she's got in that room and came out with this cute little stuffed animal that was just perfect.
And she was so proud of herself and she went over and put that in Allison's bassinet alongside the pig that came from Swiss American Charity.
Joe Hallison now has two little stuffed toys.
I spent the rest of the evening getting ready for this broadcast.
This broadcast was so important to me to talk about this and tell everybody out there who's wanted to know when Annie has the baby and all about it.
I was so rattle-brained and so tired and really excited.
I'm a little disappointed that my baby is not here.
That I forgot to turn on one of the key pieces of equipment that lets the broadcast out of here to go to where you are.
So you had some dead air time at the beginning.
And, of course, that's the way it goes.
Moving west.
She is a beautiful little girl.
Big fat chubby cheeks.
In fact, she looks just like Pooh did when she was born.
So, who knows what she's going to turn out looking like.
Pooh had a fat head, fat cheeks, puffy eyes, and a little flat nose, and a lot of black hair on her head.
And she just, you know, looked like babies look like.
They all look cute and pretty and cuddly, and especially if they're yours, they're just beautiful.
And that's all there is to it.
But, you know, in the first week they change an awful lot.
At least Pooh did.
And I think most of them do.
There's a lot of trauma in being born.
And there's a lot of baby fat that comes off because you're not fed as steadily or in the same way that a baby is fed by its mother in the womb.
So, the first two weeks, there's a big adjustment there in the body, and the swelling goes down from the birth trauma and all of that kind of stuff.
The baby actually changes color.
She's changed color.
From last night to this morning, quite dramatically as a matter of fact.
Last night she was beet red and almost purple and her nose was blue.
This morning she looked just like a normal pink baby should with all the normal color and no more purple and blue.
And no more beet red.
Of course, they put their little hands in like little, I don't know what you call them, mittens.
Mittens, I guess, because baby's fingernails, folks, are sharper than knives.
And she had already scratched her cheeks, so.
She had on these little mittens, which Pooh thought was kind of funny and always wanted to see the baby's fingers and then put the mittens back on and see the baby's fingers.
We spent a few hours with that baby this morning and I spent the most time with her I guess.
Holding her and rocking her and talking to her.
Pooh can't wait to hold her but of course she hasn't been able to do that yet.
Just a little too soon and I want her to get used to it and sit down on the couch and have me right beside her and Annie right beside her so that we can make sure she's holding her real good.
I think that will just tickle Pooh Pink.
By the way, her real name's not Pooh, it's Dorothy Marie Cooper.
And for a while, a couple weeks ago, it wasn't Pooh.
She said she didn't like that name anymore, she wanted to be called Dorothy.
And then, back to Pooh.
So I guess we'll call Allison Ally.
And I hope that I have told you this story in a good way, and I hope all of those of you who have asked over and over again about Annie's pregnancy and about the new baby, I hope that this satisfies all of that curiosity and delivers to you the best
Of the best of the last two days.
And we'll keep you posted on how the baby's doing and all that kind of stuff.
I know she's going to be fine.
She just looks as healthy as can be to me.
She doesn't look like anything's wrong with her.
And she doesn't act like anything's wrong with her.
And I think it's just a normal body immunological reaction to all the stuff that she's been through.
But we'll find out tomorrow morning.
And, of course, I can't let you know tomorrow night or Sunday night, but I'll certainly let you know Monday night how all that goes.
I wanted to get Annie on the radio, but, as usual, Annie won't come near this microphone and probably will never come near it for the rest of her life.
I don't know.
That's her choice.
And who maybe, if she wants to, will tell you about her experiences in all of this on Monday night.
But that's up to her, too.
If she doesn't want to do it, then you're not going to hear from her, because we don't make people do anything around here unless it's a matter of something that's important, and only then in a good way.
And that's why our daughter is such a good little girl, is because when she needs it, she gets the discipline that's required.
Never heavy-handed, and only when it's required.
In fact, I'll tell you the truth, folks, while I'm not against spanking, we don't do it in this family, when Pooh does something wrong, she goes to her room.
She has a wonderful room, full of toys and everything, and when she wants to go in there and play, she just loves her room, and when it's time to go to bed, she loves her room, but when she does something wrong, you send her to her room, she hates it.
She stamps her feet and slams the door and ticks the wall.
And then after a while she comes out and apologizes and says she wants to be a good girl.
So that's how we do it in our family and anybody who's ever seen Blue knows that she is well behaved and she says yes sir and no sir and thank you and please and may I and all of that kind of stuff.
And she's a good girl.
And Allison, I know, is going to be just as good.
Well, I thank you for putting up with my new father babbling tonight.
I am just as proud as Punch.
I am so happy and so tired, and I'm going to go to bed.
I wish you all a very good night, and God bless you.
There's a calm surrender To the rush of days In the heat of a rose and west Can't be turned away
And it can't be told And it sees me through It's enough for the dreadful warrior Just to be with you And can't be with us But love tonight It is where we've gone
It's enough for the wide-eyed wonder That we've got to fall And can't be the love tonight
I was left to rest And now And keep it back on Leave the bed
If they only learn If they only learn If they only learn If they only learn If they only learn
Lock the trippin' and collide the door, move the door and turn.
There's a rhyme and reason in the wild outdoors.
When the harbors of star-crossed boys are feasting time with yours.
Can you feel the love tonight?
It is where we are It's enough For the wide-eyed wonderers
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