The Babylon Bee did a livestream on Election Day. Here it is for podcast land. It's finally Election Day 2024 and The Babylon Bee is going LIVE to talk about it— well, sort of. This episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast is brought to you by: My Patriot Supply: http://PrepareWithBee.com Priority Gold: http://PriorityGold.com or text 'Guide' to 24999 Pre-order The Babylon Bee Guide To The Apocalypse: http://shop.babylonbee.com (Remember to use promocode 'PODCAST') See January 6: The Most Deadliest Day at http://babylonbee.com/january6 (Remember to use promocode 'PODCAST')
Well, you know how they possibly moved the celebration of the birth of Christ, depending on what your thoughts are on that?
They moved the celebration of the Sonic v Knuckles release to coincide with Election Day, the secular holiday.
It is convenient.
Yeah, it is convenient.
It's just too bad that the secular world is taking over the Sonic v Knuckles experience.
Yeah.
And we're fighting back.
I know that when I go home, I'm opening up so many presents.
And they're all Sonic copies of Sonic.
He punches through your wall.
You don't need a chimney.
Yeah.
But how does he visit all the children of the world in just one night?
So anyway, I thought we were all, I thought we agreed we were all going to dress up for Election Day.
Oh, is that dressing up?
Is that what you call dressing up?
I don't usually be business casual.
Yeah, that's not really.
It's kind of tied.
That's not really traffic.
You've got khakis and there's no coat.
You look like a Church of Christ guy.
Well, isn't that the ultimate form of dress?
That's a good point.
It's a good point.
Hey, let's open today's podcast with a word from John Calvin.
I'm sorry.
When God wants to judge a nation, he gives them wicked rulers.
Quote, John Calvin.
He didn't say that part.
That was me letting him know.
I was like, John Calvin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's more of a paraphrase.
It's parasitic.
Is it a paraphrase?
Okay.
It's one of those things like a Chesterchin quote.
That's not a real Chester Chin quote.
Everyone repeats it.
You see it on the graphics on Twitter, but it's kind of what he said, but not exactly.
And he probably said it in French.
Right.
Was he French?
Yeah, yeah.
Kind of.
He was French, right?
Did they speak French back then?
It hadn't been invented yet.
So it was more like he was speaking Belgium.
It was old French.
Old French.
They added an E to the end of everywhere.
Which could be.
Paris was all.
So hey, everybody, welcome to the election live stream.
I hope you guys can jump in and join us.
We're going to be going for a while here talking about election results.
We'll probably cut off around the time any actual information comes in, which is very smart of us.
Yeah, we picked a great time to do a live stream about the election results when the election results are not in.
Well, we figure everybody's just going to be live streaming Ben Shapiro anyway.
How do you compete with that guy?
I know.
He texts to it fast.
I can't talk that fast.
I mean, I guess I can.
It just won't make sense.
Yeah.
You need to power up with a power ring.
Although you told me that Sonic doesn't actually get faster from the rings.
No, he does not get faster.
It just sustains his life force.
Is that Mario Kart rules?
Where if you get more coins, more coins, you go faster.
Some of the more recent ones.
But they got rid of that in Mario Kart 64 and Mario Kart DS.
Which I prefer.
They just didn't tell you.
Travis was just collecting coins like a dummy.
I don't think they had coins.
Oh, there was just no coins.
And then they brought coins back, and I was like, this is dumb.
Because it is.
It's dumb.
I like the coins thing.
I always think the rings thing was interesting, that you can get as many rings as possible, but you only need one.
Yeah.
To not die when you get hit by spikes or whatever.
But if you have a bunch, then you have a better chance of grabbing them when they fall out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, plus, if you get over 50 and you pass a checkpoint, you can go to the bonus level.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Which you can't do with one ring.
Yeah, that's true.
But I'm just, you know, purely as a life mechanic.
How do you feel about the change to rings in the movie?
I didn't see the movies.
Oh.
So I have no opinion.
But I liked it.
I liked the change.
Oh, you heard it here first, folks.
So I remember in the cartoons, he would grab the ring and it would like glow.
Like, did it help him?
You know, I don't remember the cartoon well enough.
And there's like three or four.
There were like two cartoons when I was growing up.
One that was like a sillier Sonic and Tails, and then one that was a darker, like he's fighting the robots and this dystopia.
So we can't see the live chat right now, but if it's there, they're probably like talking about the election.
Well, this is how they based the election.
The Electoral College is based on mechanics, Sonic Legacy.
If you get hit by Pennsylvania, then you drop all the rings.
If you lose so many rings, so many electoral rings.
If you guys want to highlight, maybe you guys can highlight some comments for us, and that way we're able to comment on those things.
So, state of the election.
That's why you guys are here.
So, you know, polling going into this thing has looked pretty good for Trump.
He has to break through what they're calling the blue wall, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan.
Essentially, he has to take one of those three states without some crazy upset somewhere else.
So they built a wall around those states.
They built a wall.
Very racist.
Well, it's interesting with the polling numbers because years ago, you know, it'd be like Biden plus eight, Hillary Clinton plus 17 up in Wisconsin or whatever.
And then on election day, it'd be like neck and neck.
It'd be like right there.
So if the polling numbers are close now, you know, my thinking is that it should be, you know, it should be a good turnout for Trump.
It should be.
It should be.
But it's one of those things where the last two elections have been so insane that I have no idea what to think.
And I am just going to say my vote, not vote, because my vote was not that.
But my bet is that Kamala Harris will win.
Oh, no, I voted for Trump.
I voted for Trump, but I think Kamala will win.
And we all chant that together.
And then that will make Trump went, hey, thank you, Lady Freddie.
Tipped us $9.99 there on with a rolling pear emoji.
Very generous.
Thank you, Lady Freddy.
And yet, still not enough for a cheeseburger at five guys.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Well, thank you.
Someone, Sean Fair says, I'm here because Crowder is late.
Classic Crowder.
That's where we excel.
Babylon Beat Podcast, the podcast for Wynne Crowder is late.
The one you tune into.
So everybody's looking at Pennsylvania because it seems like polling-wise, that's where Trump is kind of either neck and neck or maybe plus one on Harris.
And like, it seems like if you can get it, it's one of those states, right?
You have like Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania.
It seems like Pennsylvania is the one that's most in reach.
Yeah, both candidates have been spending a lot of time there.
And, you know, it's funny because of all the sort of Civil War rhetoric that's been going on, like, oh, we're building toward it because everyone hates Trump or whatever.
Or Kamala hates freedom, you know, whatever.
It's just interesting that it's all getting focused around Pennsylvania because that's where Gettysburg, the Battle of Gettysburg, was fought, a decisive battle of the Civil War.
Did you guys see all these images of the Amish that are coming out to vote in the United States?
Also in Pennsylvania, yeah.
Wouldn't it be crazy if the Amish saved America?
It's like the ants going to war.
No, it is like the ants going to war.
Saromans.
A politician should know better.
And then they run out there.
Yeah.
Well.
Did the Amish vote normally?
Like, I've never heard of the Amish voting.
I'm sure they do.
Yeah.
Yeah, they never.
They just don't vote electronically.
Well, there are different levels of Amishdom.
Like, I've been to Amish country before, and you see the classics, right?
They're in their buggies and stuff.
But then at the same time, you'll see a buggy pull up to Walmart, and they'll go in there and shop like anybody else.
So there's Amish Classic.
There's Amish.
And then there's like new Amish.
New Amish.
There's Amish Light.
Amish Zero.
Yeah, none of it tastes as good as Amish Classic, but you know.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Did you ever see that movie Witness with Harrison Ford?
I didn't.
He fell in love with an Amish lady.
That's all I know about it.
I haven't seen it.
And then she voted for Trump.
We should watch it right now on the stream.
Yes.
That sounds good.
We would probably get copyright.
Oh.
That's not in the public domain?
Wasn't it like 80 years ago that movie came out?
Probably.
Yeah.
Well, you know, actually, some of the footage we used in our January 6th movie was public domain movies.
Yes.
And one of them, there was like a famous movie in the 60s that was just a silly sci-fi movie.
You remember the one with the robot towards the end of the versus the Martians?
Something like that.
They just forgot to copyright it.
Oh, that's the only reason.
That's the reason it's not in the public domain.
They were like, oh, shoot.
I knew we forgot something, and they forgot to copyright it.
Well, so we're going to talk a little bit about election and the polling.
We're going to talk about Trump and the betting markets, which also were leaning Trump, it seemed like.
And as Christians, we love gambling.
Yep.
That's correct.
Christians cast lots, which is like gambling.
Gambling's an interesting subject, actually.
Because I don't know if there's a verse that says, like, thou shalt not gamble, but everyone's pretty much against it.
But I guess in general, it's because of the love of money, and you don't want to get caught up in that, obviously.
There is no verse like, thou shalt not?
I don't think so, unless I'm wrong.
Is this always a pastor?
Kyle, is there no verse in the Bible that says, don't gamble?
Do I not need to have these headphones on?
Yeah, why are you?
I wasn't going to say anything.
I'm hearing noise from out there, and I'm like, why do I even have these on?
I just realized.
I don't know why.
What was the question about pastors and gambling?
You're a pastor or we're a pastor.
Is there no verse in the Bible that says, like, thou shalt not gamble?
No, I would say gambling is not a sin in itself, but it's like any of the other cases where like it's a heart issue.
Your heart is controlled by gambling, then you probably shouldn't gamble.
If you're blowing a lot of money on gambling that could be used for other things, you know, but if you throw 20 bucks on a sports game here or there and it's for fun and that's a little entertainment for you, then that's your liberty in Christ.
this episode brought to you by draft kings or actually it's brought to you by oh can i actually do an ed read Yeah, let's do the actual ad read.
Okay.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think our country is going in the right direction or does it feel like everything's falling apart?
I guess we'll find out.
We'll find out.
If you're feeling alarmed, you're not alone.
In fact, Americans from all walks of life have taken action to prepare for whatever's coming next.
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Go to preparewithbe.com.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program, which is not at the regular time.
So are you regular?
We're not even usually live.
So what do you guys think are the chances that we actually know who won the election today?
0%.
You think 0?
I think there's a 50% chance.
Honestly, I think we'll know.
Well, no, but there's going to be a lot of arguing back and forth for a week.
I think there's going to be shenanigans.
Okay.
What sort of shenanigans?
Well, I think, well, if everyone's looking at Pennsylvania, and that's the big one that Trump needs to get, they don't even start counting their mail-in ballots until Election Day.
So like in California, we all voted, or some of us voted weeks ago, and you get the little text message, ding, hey, your county has counted your vote.
And you go, oh, cool.
It's already logged in.
Yeah.
But in Pennsylvania, I heard, I read somewhere, that they don't even start that process until today.
And so they're counting new votes that all the people coming in to vote today, and they got to open them all up.
They got to run them through the machine.
You would think that that would be a fast process, but they have to do a lot all in one day.
It's absolutely insane when you look at it.
Like Nevada was like, we may not know for a week.
You're like, you're Nevada.
There's like one city in Nevada.
Right.
What are you doing?
That's true.
They don't even have a huge population.
You're one of the smallest population states.
How do you not have everything counted?
There's world countries that count their votes within an hour or whatever.
Yeah.
And they're good at counting with all the money.
They know how to count.
Yeah, they know.
They could have the casinos run the election.
Yeah.
The casinos would know right away.
Yeah, they probably already do know.
They can count cards.
Well, you're not supposed to count cards.
But they know how.
I guess.
You know, I've always thought – Checkmate.
That's what you say in Blackjack.
That's a cheese toy.
That's a blackmail.
Ha, checkmate.
Yeah.
I've always thought it was weird that counting cards is illegal.
Because it's something you do mentally.
It's not like, you know, you're taking notes.
And then it's like, well, that guy's just really good at it.
So from a pure game theory perspective, it's just being good at the game.
Yes.
That's the skill of the game.
That's the skill of the game.
But it's not designed to be a game of skill.
It's designed to be a game of luck.
Yeah.
And so they just have to, you know, shuffle the deck more times or use different decks or kick you out if you start to do it, I guess.
Right.
So it's really, it should be on them to make it so that you can't count cards.
Yeah.
A new deck every single hand.
They could do that.
Yeah.
I think it would just mean they would go through.
I think they've done the math on that.
It would take them longer to go through a hand of blackjack.
If they did that, it would cost them more, and then they make less money on the gambling.
So it's like they have to find the right level of replacing the deck versus the risk of.
How do they catch you if you're counting cards?
You're just playing really well.
You're just doing really well and you're making money.
And so they go, you're making too much money.
Get out of here.
Well, I think they just watch you through the security cameras.
And then if you start mouthing numbers, they see you thinking really hard.
That guy's thinking.
Yeah, I don't know, but that's what Rainman was about.
Have you ever seen Rainman?
I have not seen Rainman.
Sad.
Yeah.
Dustin Hoffman was in it.
So predictions.
I've declared Kamala Harris will win.
What do you think?
I have declared that Donald Trump will win.
Shall win.
Nay.
So my heart tells me that the vibe is that Trump should win.
That wasn't the question, though.
But if you have to make a prediction.
Well, if I had to make a prediction.
Right now.
If someone's going to shoot your whole family.
What?
Unless you say, here's my prediction.
What would you do?
Well, what I'm saying is I think Trump should win.
He has the vibes.
He survived that assassination attempt.
That was a big game.
That was a huge turnout everywhere you go.
I'm looking at video feed of like Pennsylvania.
People are waiting in line for hours to vote.
You kind of get the sense that people are out there for Trump, it seems like.
And then a lot of the places that do count mail-in ballots early, those are all coming back.
It seems like favored for Trump.
So the vibe check for me is Trump will win.
Okay.
No, but.
You just lost your whole life.
I can't underestimate the power of corruption.
Like, if you think about it, if you're the Democrats, you only have to worry about one big swing state or the blue wall that you were talking about.
All you have to do is just mess with the numbers just a little bit in those two or three states.
That's not super hard to do.
So that's the only thing that makes me think, maybe Trump won't win.
I don't know.
Okay.
Is that why you're leaning Kamala, or what are you thinking?
You think Kamala just has the popular will?
She's got the votes.
I just think she's so smart.
I couldn't see how she could possibly.
If you had a gun to my head, I'll say Trump's going to win.
Just because I want to be an optimist and go through life happy.
I think it's me being a pessimist, and I would prefer to be pleasantly surprised than to go all in.
And I've been wrong on every single thing that I've ever voted, which means I should say that Trump will win.
No, no, no.
No, that's right.
I did it right.
I did it right.
Until you said that, now Kamala's going to win.
Yeah.
Looks like we have a Babylon B prophecy fulfilled.
Breaking news from managing editor Joel Berry is reporting.
And the Babylon B posted, Democrats remind everyone a winner may not be declared until 110% of the vote is counted.
Sounds accurate.
So let's see what the fulfillment is.
Barack Obama's tweet.
It took several days to count every ballot in 2020, and it's very likely we won't know the outcome tonight either.
So please keep a few things in mind as you make your voice heard today.
Yeah, so yeah, so he's basically like trying to prepare, you know, that programming.
Yeah, when they start that early, it's when you know they got something up there.
Just so you know, we're not a normal country that can count its ballots.
Yeah.
Seems like a bit of a stretch for a prophecy fulfilled.
Yeah, that's true.
Because he didn't say 110%.
110% is true.
Joel Berry is just trying to get his engagement on it.
He's trying to get it.
It's going to work.
Yeah.
So we got any election memes?
Do we dig up some election memes?
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, howdy, do we?
Yeah, so we got some memes for you.
All right, let's check out some election memes and get ready to laugh your face off.
Yeah, unless you're an audio-only listener.
Okay, so this is now I'm saying laugh your face off and it's my tweet.
So this is a reference to Nate Silver came down today and he said his final prediction.
He's like, we ran all the analysis.
It's a 50% chance Trump will win in 50%.
Well, he made it sound like super scientific.
He's like, we ran the simulation 1,000 times.
1,000 word right up on it.
518 times Kamala wins.
They ran 80,000 times and it was like 40,010 times Kamala wins.
And 39,900.
He's like, so it's basically a toss, which is fantastic.
And so this is my tweet.
The crowd stands silent outside the stone temple, anxious, waiting.
Travis, would you?
There, the prophet comes.
Someone shouts.
Murmurs ripple through the throng.
We need murmurs.
Oh, he's coming.
A robed figure emerges.
He holds his hands up to quiet the masses.
Who will be our next ruler?
Another shouts.
The prophet speaks.
Dan, you can be the prophet.
You are the prophet.
I ran the simulation 80,000 times, and it's pretty much 50-50.
Basically, a coin toss.
The crowd slowly begins to disperse.
No!
Wait!
It's an accurate statistical aggregation of the available data.
It's a weighted Bayesian analysis.
A weighted Bayesian analysis!
I love that he does this whole model.
He's like, yeah, it's a toss-up.
Sounds like a great DD scenario.
Yeah.
This is the start of the scenario, and that's what we will be doing the rest of the podcast is playing the scenario.
Yes.
I had a biology teacher in high school who didn't understand math or like it very much.
They were a biology teacher, you said?
He's a biology teacher.
Okay, so he didn't need to know math.
I thought you were about to say, as a math teacher, he didn't know math.
And then he was like looking at some figure on statistics in the biology book.
He's like, oh, this is so dumb.
Statistics.
He's like, it's always 50-50.
Everything's 50-50.
It's going to happen or it's not going to happen.
That's all you guys need to know about statistics.
It'll either happen or it won't.
And he would always teach this in class.
I'm like, I don't know if that's accurate, but that's basically what this guy.
Maybe he was my biology teacher in high school.
Oh.
Nate Silver was?
Maybe he was.
Nate Silver.
He changed his name.
All right, here's our Don't Tread on Me meme in honor of Peanut Squirrel.
The squirrel.
Well, that story was nuts.
He himself is treading on Mother Nature.
Yeah.
He's on leaves.
And those leaves are treading on dirt.
Oh, dirt.
What were you going to say?
The words don't tread on me.
Oh.
Everything's treading on the words that say don't tread on me.
Because they're on top?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's how treading works.
Do you guys think there will be a peanut the squirrel effect on this election?
Do you think that somebody was like leaning Kamala and you're like, you know what?
These Democrats, they killed that squirrel.
I really don't think so.
No.
I think meme-wise, yeah, obviously.
I think it's something people can gather around, but I don't think it's going to move pulling data.
Anything like that late in the game just fires up the base that's already decided to go and vote, which isn't a bad thing, right?
Like some people might be like, oh, yeah, the election.
Screw these guys.
I mean, go vote.
But you're not going to have a lot of people that are like hardcore Kamala and that are like, forget this.
I'm voting Trump.
So everyone's forgetting about Fred the raccoon, though.
He died too.
I don't know anything about Fred the Raccoon.
That's really sad.
I think that's the problem.
You are part of the problem.
Not as cute as a squirrel, maybe.
Yeah.
What happened to Fred the Raccoon?
He lived with Peanut.
Oh, really?
Oh, I didn't know this.
Okay.
Yeah, he wasn't just some random raccoon.
Well, I thought I figured there was a similar story about a raccoon, but I didn't realize they were in the same or they were.
They were in the same raid.
Oh.
Wow.
But I mean, raccoons look like bandits.
So I think most of the time people are like, meh.
Raccoon.
Non-raccoon violence.
What was up with this story?
Like, why do you think...
That was not intended to be racist.
What?
Why do you think the state of New York decided this had to be done?
Like, what's the reasoning?
Well, I mean, technically, you're not supposed to have wild animals as pets, right?
Okay.
And according to whatever ordinance or law they have, you know, he was violating it.
He didn't have a license for the score.
Yeah.
But, you know, on the one hand, it's like, who cares?
That's my argument.
But also, he was apparently applying for like to make a peanut a teaching pet.
And so there's a little more to it.
It's not just like he grabbed a wild animal and threw it in his apartment.
It's like, you are mine now.
Serve me.
He was actually a pet.
Not like my squirrels at home.
They're servants.
Yeah.
November 5th.
Yes.
So here's a meme with Aragorn, son of Airthorne, and he says, for peanut.
And he's running off into the forces of Sauron at the Black Gate.
Ah.
On November 5th.
Yes.
A line he did not say in the books.
He didn't?
No.
It's just in the movie, huh?
Yeah, for Peanut.
That's only in the.
That's a good change for cinematic effect.
For Peanut?
Well, in the movie, when he says for Frodo.
Yeah.
That's a good line for.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
In the book, does he just say, yeah, I guess they'll go over there?
Correct.
The line is, I guess I'll go.
It's going to change.
All right.
What else have you got?
You are sheltering a squirrel, are you not?
That was my German accent.
This is a character from the 1942 film Hitler and his cronies.
And he's saying, you are sheltering a squirrel, are you not?
Trying to compare them to Hitler.
And for those now wondering where Jared is, he is on assignment in Tijuana, Mexico.
I'm glad that you brought that up at this hour.
Because he would have done a German accent.
Ah, I get it now.
All right.
We have the Be Honest meme.
Trump said Liz Cheney needs to be shot.
Be honest.
He said she needs to be put in front of a firing squad.
What did he actually say?
He said Liz needs to fight in the pointless wars she supports.
Thank you.
So what's that from?
What's that meme from?
I don't know.
I don't know what it's from at all.
And in fact, I don't like the meme.
I mean, this application of it is fine.
But this is probably my least favorite structure of a meme because it's just you said this thing that I don't agree with.
You said this thing I don't agree with.
Now you said the thing that I agree with.
Because it's less about something funny.
It's not clever.
It's more like that.
There's the truth.
So you're more offended as a comedian.
And more offended as a comedian than as a Jew.
Oh, this is good.
I like this one.
See, this is more pithy.
Yes, classic humor.
We just have Trump's hair outlining the same two lines that we saw in Michigan.
Was it Michigan?
I think it was Michigan.
Except the Republican one is much higher this time.
And the blue one still tries to rig to get over it, but it can't get over it.
Well, we saw it in his hair.
It shall be as it was foretold.
Hey, if we wanted more YouTube viewers, we should call this Try Not to Laugh.
Extreme Challenge.
Oh, yeah, we should.
Can we reach Try Not to Laugh?
Extreme Challenge.
What's our next one?
You won't be able to not let.
Oh, we all failed.
Actually, that was just.
Jeb.
I'm a big fan of Jeb memes.
They've been around for decades at this point, but this is a new one.
When did he was that 2016 that he was 2016 that he was in the primaries against Trump?
Yeah.
When he had the exclamation point in his look.
Jeb.
Yeah.
Jeb.
So not decades, a decade, perhaps.
Not even.
No.
Math.
What is math?
It's 50-50.
It was a while ago.
Please clap.
Please clap, everybody.
Please clap and honor.
Or at Extreme Challenge, Try Not to Laugh.
Colorblind Band has no idea who is winning.
Oh, you just laughed.
I like this one.
Yeah, you snickered.
I like him staring intently at the map.
Like he's studying it.
Like the whole map is short.
I think this one might be a different shade of gray, but which one is it?
He doesn't know because he's colorblind.
I like it.
I think it's a funny setup, but it's also funny in an absurd way because it's like, obviously, they would have a key that says, oh, Kamala is this shade.
No, he can only leave.
He's clearly looking at a screen and just looking at the map.
Yeah, there's only a map.
Extreme challenge, try not to laugh.
New polls show that Trump will definitely win unless Harris wins.
It's a funny joke, but I wasn't tempted to laugh at that.
That's not ha-ha.
Yeah.
We try.
Yeah.
We try around here.
Yeah.
I did a breathless laugh.
Like that.
Yeah.
Well, it's kind of it's kind of going back to that Nate Silver stuff.
It's like, this will definitely happen unless it doesn't.
You know, the pollsters are always wrong.
This will definitely go this way, and then on election day, it doesn't go.
And whatever corner of Twitter you happen to be browsing on, it's like people are like, this is crazy news.
Ah, this poll, it says this.
Kamala's definitely going to take Texas.
And then the other side of Twitter, it's like, Trump is doing it.
We're going to win, folks.
So it just, it's all just bias of what you selection.
And then you find out later, it was a poll conducted on two people in Alabama.
It's like, oh, well.
Yeah.
All these surveys were like 500 people were polled.
And you're like, wait a minute.
That's not very much.
What are you talking about?
For that reason, I've never really understood polling.
They just don't get it.
Have you guys ever been polled?
I've never been polled.
I've never been polled either.
I have received text messages saying, hey, we're from such and such a group.
Would you like to participate in blah, blah, blah?
And I just ignore it.
So I think that's one of the key flaws of polling is that for people that are our age or younger, you just don't answer.
You just ignore it.
You're like, eh.
Well, especially these days, you know, it used to be everyone had a landline.
Back in my day, everyone had a landline, and the phone rang, and you didn't know who it was.
So you picked it up.
And then you had to talk to somebody.
But now you got your phone.
You just go, I don't know who that is, and you don't answer it.
And even iPhones now, they can make it so you don't even get notified if it's a number that's not in your contacts.
So it's like, oh, I don't know what that is.
My phone is blowing up right now.
It says we got a lot of viewers on Twitter from our people.
Yeah.
Not as many on YouTube.
Come on, YouTube.
You really got to step it up.
Yeah, come on, man.
So, oh, this is another Babylon B article.
Election results are in.
Christ still on his throne.
Oh, that's a massive one from 2016.
Not even funny.
No, just true.
It's just true.
Yeah.
Jesus will still be on the throne no matter what happens tonight.
So try to keep that in mind, folks.
Oh, so here's something Kamala did today.
She pretended to call a voter, and then she held up her phone, which was on the camera app.
She just can't stop being real.
We got to watch it.
She did that a couple weeks ago with the ear pods, the headphones.
Or she was pretending to listen.
She was pretending to listen, but it wasn't plugged into her phone.
I don't think she knows what phones are.
So are we going to watch it?
Can we watch it?
Kyle is just on his.
Are we?
Can we watch this somehow?
This is just a screenshot, sadly.
You can't interact with screenshots.
Yeah.
I was trying to see if I could pull up the YouTube comments or something.
See, if this was, you know, like Hogwarts magic pictures, we could interact with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We could talk to.
So here's people.
Here's the message from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Peace be upon her.
It's 70 degrees in New York in the first week of November.
Please vote.
Please vote.
It's a cry for help.
What?
It's so warm because of all the global warming.
You should be voting to save us from.
I didn't make that connection.
I was just like, okay.
It seems like a non-sequitur, right?
It's 70 degrees.
Go vote.
Maybe she's just an Amazon Echo.
Like you can set up a morning routine that wakes you up and just says the weather.
Yeah.
It's 70 degrees in New York.
Please vote today.
Don't forget to vote.
Kind of like our Com Alexa video that just went out today.
Yeah.
It's a real commercial.
That might be all the memes.
That might be all the memes.
Done all the memes that are on the internet.
We will revisit some more humorous memes in a bit.
Travis, are you going to have chat blowing up?
Travis, I heard you have some kind of update for us that we're able to cut to.
Is this something we can do?
Yeah, Travis has updates for us on the election.
Oh, okay.
Well, we're going to cut to that.
We're going to cut to Travis.
Any minute now.
Look at all these comments we got coming in.
Wow.
Each staff member are in the garbage bags.
Clip this on TV.
Well, that's Jared.
Jared's right there.
Jarrett's in there.
And Tina's in there.
Yeah.
Fuck you being guillotined by the Trump sign right now.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We are going to have fun of me for putting my headphones.
Yeah, now the headphones are useful.
Can you hear everybody?
Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
You can hear me in the studio.
Travis, we can hear you.
Hi, I'm here in lovely downtown Washington, D.C., coming to you live where all the voting takes place.
Wow.
In the nation's capital.
Wow.
I can copy the screen.
It's like magic.
No, you're perfect.
Oh, you're good.
Just the way you are.
Such a handsome man.
Yeah, so some new evidence came in that we see right now live.
Sonic the Hedgehog is trailing behind Super Mario.
Wow.
As you can see, Sonic has a good handle on the South because Sonic is, as you know, a Republican.
But Mario is an Italian.
And, you know, the mafia has really called in all of their favors to come in everywhere except for Montana.
Travis.
Yes.
Can you give your opinion, your expert political opinion, on why Sonic the Hedgehog has a stranglehold on Nevada?
Is that rigging or?
Well, it's because of the Casino Night Zone, Kyle.
You see, Sonic the Hedgehog is very familiar with gambling and gambling ordinances, and he wants everyone to be free to gamble across the nation.
And that's good for Nevada.
Oh, great.
Okay.
When did Mario change his party preference to you say it was Republican?
Mario is actually a registered independent.
He's independent.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
But he wears a red hat.
Well, he's also not eligible for the presidency because he is, in fact, Italian-born.
Oh.
Oh, he was born in Italy.
Sonic, however, was born on Christmas Island, which is technically an American territory.
Oh, when did we conquer Christmas Island?
Back during the Easter Wars.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
So you remember Easter Island with its big, big heads?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember that.
Yeah.
So all those heads are not statues.
They are our fallen enemies.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah.
You heard it here first.
What's this other map behind you now?
Well, this map over here shows you the layout of Sonic nations and Mario Nations.
Obviously, Italy, Italy is right here somewhere.
And it's, believe it or not, voting for Sonic.
Oh, wow.
But then you see.
Oh, it's upset.
Talk about an upset.
Yeah, but these purple areas in Africa, you know, very undecided.
And yet, the nation of Congo, all in on Mario.
But of course, Russia has always been after the blue blur.
They are voting for him, and we believe it may be due to video game interference.
Okay.
Which way is Antarctica leaning?
On that map, it looks like it's gray, but just curious what your thoughts are on that.
Well, we cut Antarctica's data from the map, Dan, because it is only voting for, oddly enough, Crash Bandicoot.
No one cares about him.
They're just throwing all those votes away.
Okay.
Crash Bandicoot is a libertarian.
Yes, he is the libertarian vote this season.
Okay.
All right.
Well, thank you for the update, Travis.
You were very welcome, Kyle.
Back to you in the studio.
All right.
We'll come back to Travis for ongoing election updates as we go here.
Wow.
Someone's Neo Anderson in our comments says Mega Man will come in and bomb Pearl Harbor.
That's not very nice.
That's yeah.
Yeah.
And Australia.
I don't think Australia has the Easter army.
Yeah, an Australian claims that Christmas Island is theirs.
You know, so he's like Obama.
He says he's like Obama, and he claims American citizenship, but he was actually born in Christmas Island.
Well, there's a military base on Christmas Island.
Okay.
Great.
All right.
Well, cool.
Thanks, guys, for weighing in, and we'll jump back into the comments here in a little bit.
And Jared McNeely said, Banjo-Kazooie, with no context given, what are your thoughts on Banjo-Kazooie and how it relates to the 2024 presidential election?
Banjo-Kazooie was one of those games that came out during a very special time in games.
Like it was the collectathon 3D platforming era, probably the golden age of that era.
Collectathon?
Is that the collection where you like collect 200 gems to unlock this or collect 30 keys?
So Sedanjo wanted puzzle pieces.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And melodies and stuff.
Yeah, and Mario 64 really pioneered that era.
3D platforms.
Because there's like, get all 120 stars, and then Banjo's like, I could do you one better.
Collect puzzle pieces, collect all these other things, like 20,000 different things.
Oh, yeah.
You want to collect stuff?
How about puzzle pieces?
Yeah.
You can collect those.
And then you have to put them in puzzles.
Yeah.
Did you actually have to put them in the puzzle?
Like you had to figure it out?
I don't think you had to figure it out.
You just had to go to the puzzle and go boop.
Okay.
And it just went boop.
I'll be honest.
I was not a big fan of Banjo-Kazooie.
Yeah, I wasn't either.
That's what I was trying to get to eventually with when I started out.
It was a different ones.
It was okay.
I do like that they're a pair, and arguably, it's like it lends itself, if they were more popular, to headlines of the presidency, because Banjo is the leading ticket, and Kazooie is the running mate.
Now, have you guys seen these people that are voting in handmaids' tail costumes?
I have seen that.
This is a thing.
Some people voting in handmaid's tail costumes.
Always the funniest thing to me.
Yes.
Like, because you know that this person probably lives a pretty affluent lifestyle, probably has more freedom than any woman has in 99.99% of human history, and they choose to put on the handmaid steel costume.
Because the handmaids wouldn't be able to vote.
Because some people in the nation cannot abort their children all the way up to 40 weeks.
So put on the handmaid's tail outfit.
You know, that's really what that symbolizes.
And when you look at Muslim countries around the world, they actually have the handmaid's tail dystopia.
They pretty much.
And it's supposed to be about the Christian nationalist thing.
That sounds kind of Islamophobic.
Well, do you want to walk that back?
I would like to walk that back and say that it's all Muslim nations.
Not just some.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
What else we got?
So Pennsylvania was saying, like, in some rural Trump areas that the voting machines have been breaking down.
We only have one voting machine and it broke.
Oops.
We have a Commodore 64 here.
And oops.
I think that's the worst part.
It didn't work.
You go to any government building.
They're always way behind in updating their computers because they're trying to save on the budget.
And then that's what leads them susceptible to hacking.
And then they're trying to tell us, hey, our voting machines will be fine, though.
Here's a fun one.
There's a big spike in searches today by Americans Googling who is running for president.
I want to talk to those people.
That's a little depressing.
Where should I send these if I want them to be able to throw it up on screen?
Is they send it to Mr. C to you?
Well, no.
Well, yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Who do I send it to?
That would work.
Yeah.
Well, where do I send it?
That's me.
Just send it to me.
So I send it to.
And our production team can put that up there on screen.
So, guys, if I reference something, I'll shoot it there.
That way we can.
Sorry, we're figuring out the live stream thing.
Wait, we're live?
Oh, this is all live.
I thought this was the practice.
I thought this was practice.
Hey, so yesterday, the day before the election, Joe Rogan endorsed Donald Trump.
Do you think that's going to have any effect?
I think it's too late for it to have much effect.
However, it is a gauge of how Trump is changing the culture a little bit because Joe Rogan, you know, who's, as far as I know, he's been like liberal for years, right?
And now he's like, Trump is our last best hope.
Well, you've got to think normal guys, like this guy that likes MMA and elk meat and doing drugs and seeing machine ls, like just normal, regular, ordinary guys.
Ordinary things.
As regular guys do.
As regular guys do.
You've got to think a guy who's just a guy living his life.
At some point, you've got to leave the Democratic Party.
Like they've left you behind already, right?
Yeah.
Well, there is a big coalition right now, like Tulsi Gabbard, Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, all these people that are just kind of normal, moderate Democrats or moderate liberals that really have no home in the Democratic Party anymore.
Controversial comment.
Jeremy Wood says, Toe Jam and Earl 2024.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That's a real underdog.
That huge underdog.
That's like not even the Green Party.
That's like one of those offshoot parties or something.
Like the Truth and Justice Party or something.
Truth and Justice Party.
Toe Jam and Earl.
Truth and Justice Party is running.
Oh, man.
I kind of miss that era, though, where companies were like, oh, Mario's a video game mascot.
We can make our own video game mascot.
And for a while, I mean, that's why Sonic exists.
That's why Crash Bandicoot exists.
And then everyone gave up on it.
Do you remember back in the Super Nintendo days, they had that cool spot?
It was like a seven-up character.
They had a 2D scroller scroller that you could.
You mean the 7-up guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, the 7-up.
Yeah, the 7-up guy guy guy guy.
The little red dot guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, he had a game.
It was a good game.
I played it.
Yeah.
You played it as a spot.
You played as a spot.
It's true.
I wonder if America is more united on which video game character is best as opposed to our politics, our political leaders.
Well, it seemed like from the map when Travis was doing the map coverage there that it was predominantly Mario.
Predominantly Mario.
Oddly, the South was like, we love that speedy hedgehog.
I don't know what that was about.
Are there more hedgehogs in the South?
Maybe that was.
Oh, it's a point of reason.
Maybe there are more hedgehogs in the South.
Oddly enough, in California, it is illegal to own a hedgehog because it's illegal to own anything fun.
Sam Hazelton says Spyro.
Spyro the Dragon.
Thank you.
Yes, he is a dragon.
Oh, Gex.
Gex Matthew Menich.
Is it Menich or Minic?
No one knows.
And Steven says that Cool Spot was a fantastic game, but the sequel was garbage.
No, I don't remember the sequel.
I wonder what that one was called.
Was it called Cool Spot 2 or was it called Cool Spot Origins Return to Legends?
Yeah, Cool Spot 2, The Spotting.
The Spot.
And Andy Penn is weighing in with a Doom Marine Vladik Brudel ticket.
I can get behind that.
No, Master Chief does not qualify Cowboy Caleb.
He does not qualify for the presidency because he was grown in the lab, I think.
I'm a little confused on Master Chief's origin.
Did you guys hear that story out of Pennsylvania that they had to close down one of the polling locations because of a gas leak?
Yes, already we have the gas leak thing going on.
It's pretty early for that to be happening.
It's already happening.
Was that in 2020 when they had the whole thing closed down because of a water pipe burst or something?
Burst pipe in Georgia.
Yeah.
They had to stop counting because of a burst pipe.
But that was like in the evening, right?
That was like middle of the night type thing.
Yeah.
This is like, we need to get started.
They're like, we're counting.
We're going to get the count out.
Actually, you know what?
A pipe burst.
We have to stop counting.
Yeah.
I'm curious what the public thinks about 2020 and whether or not they believe that it was definitively rigged against Trump and Trump rightfully won.
And will that happen again?
Will Trump just fall for the same trap that he did last time?
Yeah, let us know in the comments.
What do you think about 2020?
Because Ben Shapiro has famously said Trump definitely lost.
However, has he taken the time to count literally every vote?
He hand-counted them.
Oh.
Yeah.
As fast as he talks, he went through one by one.
Yeah.
You know, he should probably do that again.
He should probably count first, not the recount.
He should count everything.
Yeah.
We should just make him the election counter, and then he can count all the votes in all the states, and it would be faster than what we have now.
Yeah, because right now, well, like you said, Nevada's like, eh, maybe by the end of the day.
Maybe a week.
Yeah.
Andy.
Daily Wire has just reported that President Biden will not be attending Kamala's election night watch.
Oh, so sad.
Very sad.
Oh, man.
Their friendship bracelet has been broken forever.
Forever.
Does this work, Collins, if I fire these things off to you?
Don't fire him.
Yeah.
I think that'll be fine.
You can throw it up on the screen.
I'm kind of surprised that Biden hasn't sabotaged Kamala Harris more.
He kind of has sort of incidentally by being Biden.
Oh, yeah.
What a counter.
I'll send it to that one.
Yeah, the whole garbage comment.
I think that was pure accident.
I don't think that was out of spite.
Like, oh, yeah, I'm really going to dig into Kamala's chances here.
I agree.
However, man, if she loses, he's going to be so happy.
Yeah, because he'll be proved right.
You should have gone with me.
I was a stronger candidate.
I was ready to go.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's so sad.
Oh, man.
So good.
The president will watch the election results less than two miles away.
That's even better.
He's getting nearby.
He couldn't even go too far.
I'm not going there.
He couldn't even be bothered.
It's not like she is doing it in Michigan or something.
So when I went and voted today, I voted in person on Election Day, and it was pretty long lines.
And I'm in a predominantly Trump, Trumpy conservative area, and a lot of lines, some MAGA hats.
Kind Mexican woman behind us in her pink MAGA hat.
So that was anecdotal, but it was good to see the enthusiasm and the turnout.
Did you wear a MAGA hat?
I did not.
I wore my Babylon B-shirt, though.
Okay.
And it did not turn me away.
Did people recognize you?
No.
Yeah.
No.
I also am very standoffish.
Like, I don't look people in the eye.
I just kind of look down.
Just like this.
Exactly.
Do you wear sunglasses?
Yes.
Like, you know, like, you know, one of those celebrities.
So I probably shouldn't say.
Mike has a story about a celebrity with sunglasses.
Oh, well, please.
It's just us here.
Oh, no one else is watching?
Was it Kyle?
No, it wasn't Kyle.
Is it Kiana Reed?
It's probably fine.
So she used to work at a movie theater, believe it or not.
And so I'm going to leave out some of the details, but suffice to say, she was working concession, and then David Schwimmer comes up.
Whoa.
But he's wearing sunglasses.
And, you know, it's the obvious mode of, I don't want to be recognized.
I'm just here to go to the movies.
And she's like, you're the guy from Friends, you know?
So she just blurted that out and out at him?
I don't remember exactly.
You're one of the friends.
That's part of the reason I wasn't going to tell the story because it has no good ending.
So I know we hear this every election.
They always say, this is the most important election of our times.
I've been hearing that ever since Obama.
Yeah, it's always been the most important.
This is the most important election.
Yeah.
But before that, I never heard it.
I didn't hear it with Bush gore or anything.
Of course, I was much younger.
I didn't pay much attention.
I think it's a bit of sleight of hand, you know, because it rarely comes down to one election when you're talking about the grand sweep of history and the way that it affects nations and the way nations rise and fall.
It doesn't come down to one election.
It comes down to the entire giant snowball of bureaucracy and the growing of government that happens little by little incrementally by the deep state over and over again as we're all sleeping.
The government is growing, you know, and it's just this monster that he's growing, growing, growing.
And one election, like maybe electing Trump shrinks that a little bit.
Yeah.
Maybe it is an important election.
Maybe Trump gets elected and he does bring Elon in and RFK Jr. in and Rotten Paul in.
And all of a sudden we actually start downsizing that thing.
That would be amazing.
That would be awesome.
But I'm, you know, I'm going to temper my expectations.
Yeah.
It may just be that you slowed the growth a little bit, you know, as the deep state keeps their giant snowball rolling down the hill.
I would argue if there was any presidency that was the most important ever, it was the very first election.
You could make that argument.
Well, the very one, the one right after George Washington was that that was like the one that's going to show, hey, are we going to continue being a country or are we going to go nuts?
And they showed, hey, we can have a peaceful transfer of power.
And here we are, two days later.
The only thing I would say about this election in particular, the reason why I think it's important is if Republicans can't win against Kamala Harris, who can they win against in the future?
That's what worries me.
And then especially with the backdrop of we need to have reforms to our election system to make it secure.
If we do not get those reforms, I don't know what we're going to do in the future.
You know, all of the things they introduced with COVID, with, you know, it's crazy to me that everybody in California gets a mail-in ballot.
You don't even have to ask for it.
You just get one.
Whether you want it or not.
And then you can mail it in for like so many weeks, like three weeks ahead of the election.
People can go and harvest those ballots and turn them in everywhere.
And there's no verification.
Like in California, they made it illegal to show your ID when you vote.
Like the election workers are not allowed to check your ID.
Simultaneously, they have that plus the massive influx of illegal immigrants to our country that the Democrats want to turn into legal residents and legal voters, I think.
Yeah.
I think this election is important.
It's going to decide: are we going to let that continue or are we going to try to stop that?
And in the future, like what I was saying, if we can't beat Kamala, who can we beat in the future?
I don't know.
Really weighing the whole live stream down here.
But, you know, Trump.
This could be the end.
This could be the end.
This could be the end of democracy.
But, you know, Trump is so, as much as I love Trump, he is so polarizing that I wonder how, you know, post-Trump era, I wonder if you can get like, let's say JD Vance runs next time.
He can just be his more reasoned approach and calm.
And I wonder if that will be less polarizing and therefore we would be able to win.
These are just things I wonder about.
You know, we're Christians here at the Babylon B.
And I think it's important at the outset too to just say that we're not really despairing over the way this election goes, one way or the other.
It's important for us to retain a sense of hope.
And I think that's why we can write comedies because we know the way that the story goes.
We know who wins in the end.
We have that confidence.
We don't have to freak out so much.
You watch those.
It's so sad when you watch those videos.
It's funny, but it's also sad.
Like in 2016, when the Democrats were losing and you have all these people weeping and crying and that guy girl thing that screamed at the sky, you know, when Trump was inaugurated.
And it was funny, of course.
But at the same time, it's really sad to see these people that have their entire hope in politics.
That's how they think that they're going to save the world is by voting for the right candidates.
Well, yeah, for no delusion that Trump is going to save the world.
For a lot of people in our culture, we've become less religious as a society.
So heaven and hell get collapsed into whatever you see, whatever's right now.
And if my team's not winning right now, that's the end.
That's hell.
The demons are the people that are opposing me.
So you don't have there is no room for hope outside of that.
You have to affect the change now.
Otherwise, you have no hope.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think it's a good time for a Bible verse.
Philippians chapter 4, verse 6.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
So we're not even supposed to be anxious.
Did you just make that up?
Oh, that was in the Bible.
It was in the Bible.
We all made it up.
Hey, C, I sent you another one you can throw up on the screen there.
I like the idea of calling him C because it's like M or Q, but it's like not very.
Yeah.
It's almost like God's in control or something.
It's almost like that.
Almost like that.
Yeah, we don't have to freak out every time there's an election.
Oh, no, we're going to get Echo.
All right.
I mean, we might still die, but then it's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So are you able to put that up on the live stream, C?
Please with C. Or maybe it's already up and I'm there you go.
Yeah.
So here's something from Libs of TikTok breaking Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Election officials announced that they are recounting 30,000 absentee ballots after discovering that the scanning machine door wasn't properly classed.
They had the printer error like load letter or whatever and they just kept it going.
Oh my gosh.
30,000 absentee.
Now you got to think absentee leans Republican maybe?
I don't know.
It used to, but nowadays with all the mail-in, I don't know what it looks like.
Yeah, it used to be that mail-in ballots were always leaning heavily Democrat and then the Republicans would show up the day of.
And now in this election, it seems like it's kind of reversed, but I don't know.
Yeah.
To your point, Travis, what you were talking about a minute ago, when you were saying as Christians, you know, we believe these things in the Bible about not being anxious.
That reminded me of an essay that I reread recently from G.K. Chesterton, who was also a Christian about 100 years ago.
Well, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
But he wrote a work called like, What's Wrong with the World?
And then he wrote an essay to clarify because he was saying like his editors kind of chose that title for him.
And so he wrote an essay called What's Right with the World.
And he talks about a lot of the agitation that is always going on with, you know, oh, this is wrong in the world and we need to fix this and we need to fix that and being so focused on political solutions and focused on reforms.
And he kind of has this underlying thing.
Well, let's take a step back and remember what's good about the world.
And what's right with the world is the world, that God made the world and God made people in his image.
And taking a step back and realizing he has this really, really nice line in there where he talks about, you know, he talks about Europe at that time was so focused on politics because they had lost religion.
And he was saying that the reason why we're so fixated on elections and party politics and tribalism is because we're focused on this, like we were saying a minute ago, trying to fix it ourselves rather than just stepping back and realizing God is sovereign over all of this.
And he has this really good line, which maybe I can scroll down here and read it.
He said about 100 years ago, for at present, we all tend to one mistake.
We tend to make politics too important.
We tend to forget how huge a part of a man's life is the same under a sultan and a senate, under Nero or St. Louis.
He says, daybreak is a never-ending glory.
Getting out of bed is a never-ending nuisance.
Food and friends will be welcomed.
Work and strangers must be accepted and endured.
Birds will go bedwards and children won't to the end of the last evening.
And the worst peril is that in our just modern revolt against intolerable accidents, I think he's talking about the political things that they're trying to solve.
We may have unsettled those things that alone make daily life tolerable.
It will be an ironic tragedy if when we have toiled to find rest, we find that we are incurably restless.
And I just love that line where he says, you know, we make politics way too important.
There's so much of your life that's the same regardless of what happens.
Yeah, and Chesterton talks a lot about paradox.
And I think there is the paradox for the Christian that we also recognize that things have great significance and that there are battles of good and evil worth fighting.
There are things with eternal value, and we think it's important to fight for the unborn.
We think it's important to defend freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
At the same time, we do recognize that a lot of things that we make much of in our news discourse and the 24-7 news coverage is not that important.
And the things that we freak out about.
Like, honestly, in this election, Kamala Harris could win.
Republicans could take every other branch.
And you end up with a pretty decent outcome where they're just fighting.
It's kind of a stalemate.
A stalemate, and that's not a terrible thing.
Stalemate's okay.
I like it when government has no capacity to do anything.
Yeah, and Chesterton goes on in this essay that I'm talking about, What's Right with the World, where he does talk about sometimes it is a duty to get alarmed about some injustice in the world or something in the world that we need to get up in arms about.
He says sometimes that is a thing we need to do, but he says that should be like a trumpet.
You know, it gets your attention real quick and you go take care of it.
But he goes on to say that what we should do is like the ocean's always constant.
We should always have like this constant sense of contentment.
The way he put it was the voice of the special rebels and prophets recommending discontent should, as far as I have said, sound now and then suddenly like a trumpet.
But the voices of the saints and sages recommending contentment should sound unceasingly like the sea.
And I just love the way he phrases that.
Sometimes we do need to be like, hey, you know, like the light, the life issue in our country.
We do need to take action.
We do need to vote.
We do need to speak out.
But at the end of the day, we can't be people where our whole personality, our whole life, our whole identity is constant grumbling and discontentment.
Yeah, everybody who's obsessed with politics is just miserable.
Like on both sides, you just see that.
It's people that are just foaming at the mouth about it all the time.
I like that line, but the voices of the saints and sages recommending contentment should sound unceasingly like the sea.
That's a good line.
He should consider writing more.
Yeah, he should.
Should be considered becoming a.
Is he coming out with anything?
A professional.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
So what's your favorite ocean?
Of all the oceans?
I like living here near the Pacific Ocean.
It is too cold, though.
That's the only thing.
On our coast, it's too cold.
If you go to Hawaii, it's warmer.
Right.
So I guess I would say Pacific because I also like the Pacific Theater of the World War II.
Yeah, that was the most fun.
It was the most fun of the theaters.
Yeah, my great uncle, I've told you guys personally, but for our podcast viewers, my great uncle went to Okinawa and he's got one of those, well, he didn't kill anybody, which is good.
He ran a mechanic shop, but he did tell me about the, I'm getting off track here.
He did lose his hearing because he operated a tank.
And back then, you're supposed to open your mouth when the tank shoots because it relieves pressure in your ears.
And he didn't do that.
And it bursts his eardrums.
Wow.
And he couldn't hear very well for the rest of his life.
Wow.
All right.
So make of that what you will.
Does that mean Trump's going to win?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
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Travis, I think we have an update from Mr. Travis on more of this election business.
Travis, are you there?
Yes, yes.
Here I am.
Thank you, Dan.
Are you receiving me?
I am receiving you loud and clear.
What is your update?
Well, once again, here I am in the nation's capital, Washington, D.C., and I have a brand new update.
As you can see, from my findings, Sonic has overtaken Mario in the polls.
Wow.
And he has boomed right to the top.
Wow.
And Mario's, he's kind of fluctuated, to be honest.
He's going up, but not enough.
And Crash Bandicoot down here has zero votes.
Zero votes reporting in for Crash Bandicoot.
Wow.
Normally, those third-party candidates always get like maybe one or two percent or maybe three.
But Crash Bandicoot has zero votes.
That's really astonishing.
Zero votes.
Which is amazing considering he won that primary for the Libertarian Party.
That checks out.
That checks out, actually.
Yeah.
What else do you have on this?
Well, furthermore, we have a map projection here showing what your generic term for a sweetened carbonated beverage is.
And we can see the red states, as you can see, refer to soda as, believe it or not, soda.
And the blue states as pop, and the green states as Coke, and the sort of pink states as soft drink.
So if you live in, I guess, what state is that?
What is this?
Is this?
I believe that's Utah, Travis.
Utah.
Okay, so if you go to Utah and you go to a McDonald's, you go, one large soft drink, please.
But if you're here in California, my native state, you go to McDonald's, you go, boom, one soda, please.
Even though, honestly, I've been saying Coke for years.
And if you say soft drink, they won't understand what you're saying.
No, it is a language barrier.
So unfortunately, you do need to follow these guidelines.
And we can see also that there is a correlation between the green states here that say Coke and the blue states which say pop.
And by correlation, I mean no correlation at all.
Now, have the presidential candidates come out one way or the other on this issue?
You know, yes, actually.
Donald Trump refuses to call anything carbonated anything other than Coke.
He calls everything Coke.
Diet Coke, he calls Coke.
Coke, he calls Coke.
Mr. Pibb, he calls Coke.
Sprite, Sprite, even, he calls Coke.
He is an absolute madman.
So anything carbonated, you said?
Anything carbonated, yes.
And Kamala Harris has refused to answer the question.
So sparkling water he calls Coke.
He does call that Coke, yes.
He goes, hey, give me that Coke.
And then, you know, JD Vance is holding sparkling water, as is his custom.
He's always holding sparkling water.
And he goes, you mean this?
And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Coke, whatever.
What about white claw black cherry flavor?
Is it carbonated?
I would imagine he calls that booze.
Okay.
That is probably the exception to the rule.
Okay.
Got it.
Except for, oddly enough, champagne.
He calls that Coke.
We have a commenter on YouTube, Nikotri D. Paul, that says, in Texas, we call it all Dr. Pepper.
That's interesting.
Your thoughts?
Interesting bit of news.
Well, as you can see from the map, Texas is a mixture.
You see, the lower half of the state is soft drink, and the upper half is Coke.
What happens when you merge them together?
One city calls that Dr. Pepper.
It's like the same mechanics of like the tornadoes.
That's why they have so many tornadoes in Texas.
That's absolutely why.
The two converging weather patterns, the hot and the cold, they come together and they collide and they spin and they create a Dr. Pepper storm.
Now, what's your thought on the dark red spot there on the Missouri River?
Is that there going to be like a great civil war where they attack and lay siege to the great dark red soda dot?
They look like they're surrounded.
Well, they are surrounded.
And this is a long old blood feud that has been persisting for millennia, even before America was founded.
The Native Americans at that time were big on sacrificing humans for the sake of maintaining the supremacy of soda.
Okay.
All right.
Well, thank you for the update, Travis.
All right.
And back to you there, Kyle, in the studio.
Great.
All right.
Well, Travis is going to continue to provide us with up-to-the-minute election news.
We've got some other stuff coming in from X. If you guys can pull up some of those graphics that we got there.
I think we're going to need to wait for him to run back to the computer.
But we've got.
We have.
Oh, okay.
I guess we'll go here.
Election betting odds.
So when were these polled?
I believe I pulled this right before we started.
Okay.
So election betting odds are still heavily Trump.
3% up in the last day, 58% Trump, 41% Harris.
0.4% other.
I really like the Chutzpa, if I may use an Amish expression.
Is that an Amish expression?
never heard it before of people that are just like i'm gonna vote i'm gonna put all my money down on other other other yeah well i think that's it probably pays out quite a bit if you if you win That's in the off case that nobody gets a 270.
Oh, you think that's – Yeah, so you – Well, but one of them wins, right?
Nobody gets a 270, and so then it has to go to the Congress.
And then the Senate would pick the president, and I think the House picks the vice president or something like that.
So you're voting on that somebody will get to 270.
That's what you're betting on in these models.
Right, because you've got to get a 270 to win.
Yeah.
So the point of 4% is you're saying nobody gets to 270.
Right.
Okay.
That's not like a random Kyle Mann from California.
Yeah, I thought it was like Jill Stein or whoever the libertarian guy is.
Who is the libertarian guy this year?
He was that.
Gary Johnson?
No, it was some very liberal guy that was very off-putting to the right-leaning libertarian.
I can't remember his name.
Joe Gary Johnson.
No, this year it was more than usual, I think.
Okay.
I literally don't remember his name.
Breaking report.
Libertarians are even weirder than usual this year.
I just Googled libertarian candidate in the first results.
It says, armed, gay, and looking for redemption.
There you go.
That's who I was thinking about.
Is it Chase Oliver?
Is that who it is?
Chase Oliver.
Okay, Chase Oliver.
So 0.4% chance that Chase Oliver.
Okay.
Chase, was he named after the Paw Patrol character, Chase?
Yes.
Okay.
Most definitely.
The math checks out.
Either he was or he wasn't.
It's 50-50.
It's 50-50.
We don't know.
So we talked to Maxim Lott on our podcast last week.
He runs electionbettingns.com, and he was saying if there's a multiverse of 100 universes in 60 of them, Trump wins.
Yep.
Too close for comfort.
Get out there and vote, people.
In all of the universes.
Stay in line.
All right.
Well, this is.
Hold the line.
Stay in line.
Don't leave line if you're not going to.
Stay in line.
I get it.
Make sure that we're in the multiverse universe where Trump wins.
That's what we need to do.
Yeah, or we can migrate to that.
Yeah.
Or we invent a teleportation device that sends us to the correct universe.
Yes.
So real clear politics this morning, final projection, predicted a Trump victory.
287 to 251.
So they basically said that he would break through the blue wall in Pennsylvania.
Get Pennsylvania.
If he gets Pennsylvania, he pretty much takes it.
You know, at this point, though, I'm almost, it'd be funny if he put all this energy behind Pennsylvania and he wins Pennsylvania and it ends up being the only state.
The only state.
He's oh, shoot.
There are 49 other states.
No.
Oh, my gosh.
This is Eric Doughtry, who says, just in Nevada, Republicans have now expanded on their lead with mail and election day voting.
GOP lead has gone up 47,000 when you start to count the mail and election day voting from today.
Don't make me hope, internet.
Don't do that.
But I thought this was the statement.
Don't stay hope.
I thought this was the state that told us that they were going to take a week to count.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
They already have these.
Is it like that they count 95% of it?
And then there's like those stragglers that they're still.
I guess.
I think the idea is that it's going to take them forever to count literally every vote.
But at some point, if it's a big enough of a lead, they're going to be like, oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, you could be right.
I'm not an election official.
Okay.
Did you guys see this thing this morning with Elon Musk that he retweeted somebody on X and they were saying if you go on Google and you type in, hey, Google, where can I vote for Trump?
It would just kind of pull up generic election information and links.
But you say, hey, Google, where can I vote for Kamala Harris?
And it would pull up like a map and it would have, it would type, it says, type your address in here to get your polling location.
That's interesting.
And Elon retweeted it going, this is wild.
I just tried this and this is what's going on.
How is that not election interference?
Well, it is.
Yeah.
Now, what does DuckDuckGo do?
I don't know.
Do they just show you a duck?
Yeah.
I stopped using DuckDuckGo because of all the ducks.
It changes your vote to duck.
Sorry, that's a dumb joke.
But I did see former B writer Frank Fleming wait in on this as a programmer, and his suspicion was it was actually just a weird bug where Harris is the name of a county and it was like linking that to Harris County.
Because if you do it with Vance, it also works.
But if you did it with Trump, because that's not the name of the county, Trump County.
Yeah.
So who knows?
But I wouldn't put anything past them, of course.
Yeah.
Well, that's reassuring.
That's good.
I want to live in Vance County.
That's probably a fun county.
Sounds like a good question.
What are all the cool features of Vance County when you live in Vance County?
Well, I don't know.
I don't know where it is.
Every woman is in a handmade stale outfit.
That sounds nice.
They're not allowed to talk.
Also, that sounds great.
Oh, here's water slides.
That's unrelated to politics, but there are a couple of water slides.
Harris greets Pennsylvania family on porch, suggests staging a doorknock.
This is one of the last things she did in the race here.
She's caught on video going, can you guys go back inside so that I can knock on camera?
So I could pretend to not.
She's so fake.
She's just so stuff like this.
I know that every politician staged stuff, right?
McDonald's thing, obviously staged.
Fine.
Wait, what?
I thought he worked there.
Yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
But yeah, I forgot where I was first.
There's a way to pull it off, though.
So, like, you have to pivot.
If they come out, it just looks weird if you're like, go back inside so I can knock on your door.
I really want the door knock.
Also, I just think it's funny.
I want to door knock.
Who talks like that?
I want to door knock.
Door knock.
Not just, I want to knock on your door.
I want to do what humans do and door knock.
Door knock is one of those things.
Humans do.
When approach other human door, I door knock.
That's what happens.
All right, this is from the Calvin Coolidge Project.
New Fox News.
John Roberts says Harris needs to have 700,000 votes in Philadelphia in order to pull out the win.
So this is a current analysis.
She needs to get 700,000.
And in 2016, Clinton got $560,000.
And in 2020, Biden got 600.
So she would have to get 100,000.
She has to get 100,000 more.
Yeah, richly.
It's a lot of turnout right now.
So it's totally possible.
It is totally possible.
And that, of course, assumes that you're not getting a lot more turnout than expected everywhere else for Republicans.
But thank you for the update, Calvin Coolidge.
Thank you, Calvin.
I'm going to keep cool with Coolidge.
He was a good president.
Yeah.
He was cool.
Yeah.
There was like a recession in like 1921 that a lot of people don't talk about.
And his response to it was, let's just cut spending.
Brilliant.
I did.
Damn.
We were fine.
Can we vote for Calvin Coolidge again?
Yeah.
I wish.
Did he serve two?
We could do a write-in.
We'd do a write-in for Calvin Coolidge.
Steve Holster says, Amish for Trump.
Nice.
I don't think he is Amish.
He's on YouTube.
Steve Holster.
First time.
I just said his name and his, and now his Amish family knows.
They're watching the live stream.
They're like, hey, he's using technology.
Yeah.
And they're like, oh, no, we're using technology.
We can't point.
He's like, wait, how did you know?
Which is just a whole.
There's a real fun story with Calvin Coolidge.
I don't know if I've ever told you this, but you might have.
But there's a fun story with Calvin Coolidge where he was at a dinner party and he was very famously not talkative.
He didn't have a lot of words to say.
Like a good president.
He would just kind of nod and go, hmm.
Yeah, okay.
So he wasn't talking.
Silent Cowell.
Silent Cowell was what they called him.
And so this lady at this dinner party sat down across from him at a table and basically said, I have a bet with somebody, you know, so-and-so.
I have a bet that says I can get more than three words out of you.
I've heard this before, but not from you.
He replied, you lose.
So good.
What a cool president.
That sounds like the guy I'd want to hang out with.
But then coincidentally, he lost the election when she was sad and started to leave.
And then he went, bye.
Oh, wait, that's the third word.
Dang it.
Well, he didn't lose an election.
That's what I said.
All right.
And then he's like, that's two out of three.
That is now my new favorite president.
All right.
I sent some other updates to you guys there in the production studio if you want to pull up some of those.
Stuff from X and such.
Do you mean Twitter?
Yes, I do mean Twitter.
This is from Eric Dauchery again who says, Breaking Trump has flipped Wisconsin in today's polymarket because the day has gone on.
He also retook the lead in Nevada and Pennsylvania's shaded red.
Confidence for Trump is high before polls close.
Wow.
Wait, so I'm sorry.
What is polymarket?
That's the betting markets, right?
Yeah.
Polymarkets.
Like the election betting on the market.
You can bet on Trump or Kamala on there with crypto.
Could be big.
So flipping Wisconsin would be.
That would be huge.
That's one of the blue wall states.
Yeah.
And theoretically would not need Pennsylvania at that point.
So that meme is correct.
Too big to rig.
Too big.
And the hair was high enough to overcome the cut part of the hair.
Yeah, if he can get Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.
It's over.
It's way over.
Yeah.
Here's one from Azure who says, you know, it's serious when the Amish get involved.
And she posts a picture of a whole train of buggies going to vote Trump.
That's amazing.
With the Trump flag.
With Trump flags that are hand-woven.
Yeah.
That would be amazing if they were like, we're selling Trump quilts.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
I want to go to Amish Country and get a Trump quilt.
The Atlantis are going to war.
There they are, man.
You know, as I said earlier, I've been to Amish Country before, but, you know, they're just people.
And my mom was very much like, oh, look at all this.
Look at them.
I'm like, mom, stop staring.
They're people.
I was very self-righteous at 10 years old.
This is kind of, it's just kind of crazy to see.
Obviously, this isn't anything, but to watch the early presidential results come in because you can actually now live and look at these results coming in, which is just crazy to think about what we've been fighting for for the last year or whatever.
And now to see it already start to happen is pretty interesting.
So we just got some breaking news.
Apparently, there's some bomb threats at Georgia polling places.
Claiming from Russia, the Russian interference, huh?
Yeah, so it's determined to be non-credible threats.
Yeah, that's what's funny to me, though.
They're non-credible threats, I guess.
But they still announced it.
Never mind.
To me, it almost sounded like.
Oh, so you just don't want people to go to the polls.
Like, why are you announcing it then?
These are non-credible threats.
We don't believe it.
So, voting hours have been extended at five polling places.
So I guess maybe they closed down temporarily and now they're opening back up.
I guess, yeah, out of abundance of caution, it makes sense to look.
One of the owners of the Babylon B, Dan Dylan, has commented on the live stream.
And he says, Am I paying you guys for this?
Oh.
I don't know.
Is he?
I mean, or is it Seth?
It's, I mean, he's one of the main owners of the company.
So I thought we were just doing this for fun.
Seth might sign the paychecks, but Dan holds his hand while he signs the paychecks.
So I guess what Dan's trying to say is we really need to step it up here on the live stream.
So please invite a friend to watch the stream because if we don't get a high enough view count, we're not getting paid for this.
Oh, no.
They're going to say this was just a personal project.
Yeah.
Maybe Elon Musk can get on.
So I hope you're paying us for this, Dan, because otherwise.
I have a family to feed.
Yeah, otherwise, my wife's going to be very disappointed.
Did you ever see Total Recall?
I've seen the remake.
The remake is the appropriate one.
I've never seen the original, just the remake.
Yeah.
I love the original, but, you know, as a Christian, I can't recommend it because of the one scene.
I thought the remake was entirely fine.
We just talked about this.
Well, not on the podcast.
What did we talk about it on?
We just talked about it in June.
Yeah, it was on the podcast.
You're talking about the Total Recall remake?
Yeah, that was on the podcast.
I was talking about how Colin Farrell looks like he's always just Colin Farrell in a different time period.
This is how Colin Farrell won the battle box.
I remember now.
Oh, yeah.
We did talk about that.
So for those of you tuning in who don't watch the podcast normally, we have a segment called The Battle Box, where two things enter and one thing leaves.
And last week, Colin Farrell won.
Good job, Colin Farrell.
And he didn't even enter the battle.
He didn't even enter.
Dan Dylan has just texted me directly.
And he says, I'll pay Kyle and Dan.
Sweating.
Oh, no.
Travis needs to prove himself.
Well, Travis, I think it's time for another map update.
Okay, hold on.
Let me run over to Washington, D.C.
Okay.
That's where the reporting room.
That's where the reporting room is.
I sent you guys another graphic if you want to throw it up.
This is.
We just got some election results from Kentucky and Indiana.
Apparently, they.
Hang on.
We already seen this one.
Well, yeah.
Maybe I didn't send you guys anything.
You just sent the same thing to them again.
Yeah.
Sorry.
But what I was just reading is what just broke is Kentucky and Indiana.
Oh, that's what I was sending, too.
They have come in heavily for Trump.
Yeah.
Like 60% or something.
So that's, I don't know if that's a surprise or not, or if that was kind of a sure thing.
Here, I just sent you guys something you can.
Oh, yeah.
Let's go.
Oh, we'll do this on our headphones.
We'll do that in a second.
I think Travis has made it to Washington, D.C. Travis.
We're going to Travis.
Are you there in D.C.?
This is your big moment to get paid.
I am here in Washington, D.C. again, and boy, are my arms tired.
And with some breaking news now, cats have gone nuts for a candidate.
Which one?
What is that?
What is that?
112% squared over 7.29, believe it or not.
What does that number mean?
That's just a fraction.
Yes, yes, that's right.
So cats are all in for Trump.
Oh, wow.
So the simple cat ladies are voting for Kamala, but the cats themselves are voting for Trump.
And according to the Fifth Amendment, part of the Bill of Rights, cats are legible to vote.
They're legible.
This is the first time in history cats have taken advantage of their God-given right.
Okay, any idea what is inspiring the cats to actually take advantage of their right to vote this time around?
Well, mice.
Okay, mice.
Because they don't like mice.
And Trump is notoriously against mice.
So it's a racist thing?
Well, spacist.
Okay.
Because it's a species thing.
They equally hate black and white mice.
Okay, do you think it's just because they're orange cats?
Well, this cat here is the lord of all cats, and he speaks for the cat nation.
Okay, so they vote as a single united bloc.
They don't.
Yes, his name is Greg.
Okay.
Yeah, they're kind of like a hive mind.
So if you have a cat right now, he's voting for Trump.
Wow.
Wow.
Or she.
I'm not judging.
I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.
You know, I used to think that as a child, but it turns out not true.
Okay.
Do you have any other fun biology facts that you want to give us?
Well, hedgehogs can't actually run.
Hedgehogs don't run?
Well, I mean, they kind of do, but they don't run that fast, and they don't run on two legs.
I'm going to go to the hedgehogs vote.
Yeah.
Hedgehogs are illegible to vote because the hedgehog species comes from Australia, mate.
I'm reading that hedgehogs can run up to 12 miles per hour.
Wow, that's a lot faster than I thought, actually.
12 miles per hour?
That's faster than me.
They can probably outrun you, Travis.
Yeah.
I only go, I can only run like one mile per hour.
I assume that they don't have a lot of endurance, though.
Like, they probably can just run in short bursts, like, ah, Dr. Robotnik is attacking me.
Yeah, that checks out.
And then after that, they have to slow down for a bit, take a rest.
Okay, well, thank you, Travis.
We'll go back to Travis in a bit here for another.
You're very welcome.
Back to you, Kyle, in the studio.
Update.
Man, I had no idea that cats were voting for Trump.
I wonder if this has anything to do with the Joe Rogan endorsement.
Joe Rogan is the cats were watching Joe Rogan.
Cats were watching Joe Rogan.
Okay.
They were doing DMT.
Then with the machine elves.
The machine elves kind of told them what to do.
You got to think the machine elves are breaking for Trump.
The machine elves.
The machine elf vote is definitely breaking for Trump right now.
Machine elves live in the space between spaces, though.
They can't vote.
They cover all of this in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Oh, okay.
I didn't see that one, but I did.
They don't have any votes.
I forgot.
They don't have any electoral power.
No electoral power.
They're a different dimension.
That's why they're always trying to take over humans.
Dan, if you can let me know if Travis will be getting his next paycheck.
It's kind of in the air.
That would be appreciated.
Hey, I'm the only employee you have that can run to Washington, D.C. that fast.
He's got a point.
What about a hedgehog?
It sounds like a hedgehog can outrun you.
Yeah, it's true.
So, but you don't have one.
Checkmate.
That's a chess term.
So, from everything we're seeing right now with this election, it sounds like things are coming back positive for Trump camp.
Positive so far.
Everything's coming up.
Trump.
Which means it's only a matter of time until the shenanigans start.
Potentially, yeah.
So this map I'm looking at right now, what is that?
Is that showing Indiana and Kentucky?
Are they just done?
Indiana, Kentucky.
No, they've just started to count the votes there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
See, 2% of votes counted, 5% of votes counted.
Oh.
Yeah.
So the problem with running back and forth from D.C. to California is that I miss a lot of information in that minute it takes.
Yeah.
I guess I misunderstood this when I read it earlier.
I didn't see the 2% counted.
It doesn't seem very newsworthy.
Yeah, it almost seems like what's the point?
Yeah, I made a big deal out of, oh, Kentucky and Indiana, they're coming in for Trump, and there's 5% of the vote counted.
You remember when CNN introduced that weird hologram for Wolf Blitzer?
I don't remember this at all.
What's the hologram thing?
Well, they made a big deal about how, like, hey, Wolf Pillitzer here going to give you some updated news, but they would fake a projection into the stage instead of just cutting to it like on a camera.
Why?
I don't know.
I guess they thought it was cool, but it obviously wasn't a real hologram, so it was pointless.
Maybe they're trying to get ready for when these famous hosts pass on, and it's like Star Wars where they bring back Princess Leia and they can use the CGI version of them.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they've already uploaded Wolf Blitzer to a computer.
He's in the cloud.
He's in the cloud that exists above us.
Right.
So if I'm reading it right, Kentucky and Indiana are the only ones whose polls have closed or the first polls have closed.
That's weird.
And then Florida, Georgia, Indiana, South Carolina, Virginia, Vermont are after that.
Okay.
So in about a half hour, Florida, Georgia, Indiana.
But see, they're not even like the easternmost coast.
Yeah, it must like.
It must be certain closing times depending on the area.
Like, I don't know if it's a statewide.
They all must close at this time.
But Maine is like, hey, we vote all night, baby.
That's how they do it.
Just now reporter to Trump.
Do you have any regrets about your campaign?
Trump, to use Kamala's expression, I can't think of any.
National treasure.
You know, they would never go up to Kamala and ask that question.
Hey, Kamala, do you have any regrets about your campaign?
They wouldn't ask her that because she wouldn't.
Well, they asked her, but she answered at a town hall.
They asked her if she would do anything different than Biden.
And she goes, What would you have done differently than Biden?
And she doesn't mind.
Nothing comes to mind.
Which is just fantastic.
So do we want to check in with the live chat right now?
Yeah, let's check in.
Let's see where you are.
Oh, by the way, Dan Dylan has said this didn't push the needle.
Oh, so the cat.
I wish I was dead.
That thing didn't really work.
Oh, man.
Well, maybe if we get enough people in the comments to vote for Travis, vote for me, people.
Get paid for this.
Let's talk about our progression as you know in politics and who we voted for.
Like over the years, you mean interesting.
I voted my first vote was in 2020 for Trump.
And I was eligible to vote in for several elections before that.
And I didn't because I was a smug, disaffected libertarian.
Voting doesn't matter.
Blah, blah, blah.
It's all rigged.
It's all rigged.
If you vote, you know, I'll go against my conscience, that kind of stuff.
He sounded really funny back then, too.
That's how I talked.
That's how all libertarians talk.
Two-party system is a sham.
That's a standard issue.
Dan Dylan also says that you have some time to redeem yourself still.
Well, I've got at least two votes so far.
Three, four.
I vote for Travis and Katz.
Dan, you need to check out the chat because a lot of people are voting for Travis.
Yep.
Yep.
So 2020, reluctantly, and you guys may remember, I even talked about it on this podcast that year.
I came in and I was like, you know what?
I think we recorded the podcast or an interview show or something.
I drove home and on the way home, I wasn't going to vote at all.
And I was driving by the polling place and an orange light shone from the heavens.
Like, not literally, but I actually felt a weird spiritual, and maybe it's odd, but I felt this weird light, and I never feel stuff like this, right?
But I felt this like conviction of like all the babies that are murdered each year.
Like that was the main issue for me.
And I'm like, look, Trump, maybe he's not the greatest guy.
Maybe I disagree with him.
Maybe he's brash, maybe whatever.
I'm like, but honestly, he's our best shot.
He's the only practical choice right now that's actually speaking up for the unborn, you know?
And he's not perfect.
And even speaking about unborn, he said some dumb stuff this election cycle, right?
But he's still the one who was going to go there and fight that fight, even if he's not a perfect leader.
So I went and voted for him.
He lost.
Way to go, Kyle.
And then this year, I excitedly voted for Trump.
So I went from no votes, reluctant Trump, excited Trump.
What about you guys?
What was your well?
I admit that my first, showing my age here a little bit, even though I'm not that much older.
My first vote was for Ronald Reagan in 1980.
Yep.
No, my first vote was for George W. Bush against John Kerry.
W. John Kerry.
Was that?
That's 2004.
Yeah.
That was what the first time.
You voted for John Kerry?
Is that what you said?
No, W.
Oh, you voted for him?
I voted for W.
And, you know, W has a complicated legacy, but I still prefer him over John Kerry.
That guy.
So I voted for him.
I think after that was Obama and McCain.
Yes.
And I'm pretty sure I voted for McCain.
And then I think after that was Obama and Mitt Romney.
And I think I kind of was stubborn and I didn't like any of them.
And I think I did a lame ride-in vote for John Adams' ghost.
You did write in John Adams' ghost?
I think so, yeah.
Well, I definitely did.
I just don't remember if it was that year.
Okay.
So I remember voting in 2004.
I had just become a Christian like the year before.
So naturally, I voted Republican.
So I think I voted for W.
And I remember at the time, like the war was going on in Iraq.
And, you know, I remember thinking through the issues for the first time, like, oh, wow, there's a war going on.
There's all these civil liberties going on.
But I did vote for W because I knew I didn't want the other candidate to win.
But then after that election, I kind of went through like a third party phase of my life where I got really into Ron Paul.
I voted for Ron Paul twice.
So he ran in 2008 and he ran in 2012, I believe.
And I think there was an election that I wrote in his name.
He wasn't on the ballot.
Yeah.
That might have been 2016, I want to say.
Like, I was just so like, it doesn't matter.
I'm in California.
Who cares?
So I wrote in Ron Paul again.
So yeah, I was a Ron Paul guy.
Pretty solid.
Is that around the time that you got that signed Ron Paul picture?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I've got a signed framed Ron Paul photo.
I wrote a letter to Ron Paul.
I forget what the occasion was, but I just wrote to him back then.
I was just a fan.
I was like, hey, thank you for everything you've done.
He was the only political candidate that I had ever donated money to or anything.
Wow.
And he sent me back a photo that was signed, like, you know, in Liberty or whatever, Ron Paul.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah, it's so cool.
I'll be honest.
I have never donated to a political campaign.
I have not either.
Yeah.
But similar to Kyle, similar to Kyle, I voted, oh, there is the photo.
I can show it on camera.
So here is the signed Ron Paul photo.
It says to Daniel Coates for Liberty, Ron Paul.
So this is my street cred for the libertarians, whatever that's worth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so I think when Trump was running in 2016, I either just thought, ah, two-party system, whatever.
It's all rigged.
I think I wrote in Ron Paul.
But by the time 2020 rolled around, I think I kind of got won over to the Donald Trump way of, you know, just realizing that politics isn't about your ideal.
Like, obviously, we all have our ideal system, our ideal candidate.
But ultimately, at the end of the day, it's like getting things done and making coalitions and working with people.
Like, even if you had the perfect candidate that fits all your ideological boxes and you elected that person to be president and everyone else agreed, yeah, that person should be president.
Well, you're still electing them into a system where they have to get Congress to work with them.
So that's like a whole, that's a whole nother thing.
So all that to say, I respect the third party people, but I think you got to, at some point, you have to work within the system and try to get things done.
And I think Trump showed that he could do that.
Yeah, he got, I mean, you know, Kamala and Biden have been kind of blasting him for he didn't get much done.
And yeah, he was hamstrung by Congress a little bit, but he seemed to get plenty done.
Got tax cuts done.
He started building the wall.
He just got really slow at it because of how hamstrung everything was.
He'd been starting the wars.
In my view, that's an accomplishment to go to you're doing something where you are actively avoiding combat.
And of newsworthy note is that just on the heels of Joe Rogan endorsing Trump, Elon Musk going on Joe Rogan's podcast, he wants Elon Musk to do like this Doge thing, the Department on Government Efficiency.
And then Elon Musk reached out to Ron Paul and it's like, hey, Ron Paul, do you want to be on?
Isn't that so awesome?
And so now I think today Ron Paul is making a case.
Like, hey, everyone, go vote for Donald Trump.
How old is Ron Paul now?
Oh, he's in his 80s.
I don't know exactly.
I mean, maybe Rand can do it if he can't.
I don't know.
But that's kind of a big deal for Ron Paul to do that because I think historically he's kind of always been like, ah, two-party system.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a big deal.
I think when he dropped out one of those years, he just said, oh, vote for any of the third-party candidates.
He couldn't throw his support behind one of the big candidates.
So I think it's a big deal.
He's saying right now, I wonder if that will move the needle for any libertarians or if they'll just stick with voting libertarian.
Oh, let's uh we'll pause real quick to read this on the screen.
Uh, Senator Booker went on uh town hall and or MSNBC, sorry, and said, uh, I have guys come up to me and say, I really have no choice.
My girlfriend will kill me.
What?
My wife will kill me if I don't vote for Kamala.
Something about the kind of person who that's embarrassing.
That is so wild.
Who votes for Kamala Harris?
Well, we ran an article this morning that was kind of making fun of the images that are coming across on Twitter where it's like, I'm voting for my daughters.
And it's like in a very effeminate looking guy in tight, skinny jeans.
And the implication being, I'm voting so that my daughters can abort my grandchildren, basically.
Yeah.
It's like that, that whole is so sick and weird.
I don't know what you want to say about it, really.
Yeah, it's just depressing.
But I think it's worth pointing out how strange it is that idea when you really break it down.
People are voting to end humanity.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, in the way that it's hidden in that language of, you know, I'm voting for the reproductive rights of my descendants.
Okay, well, what do you mean by reproductive rights?
And once you really drill down to it, it's like, well, if they have a baby in their belly, which is where the baby is, in the stomach, in the stomach, in the stomach.
I want my daughter to be able to kill that.
I mean, I know that sounds harsh, but that's literally what they're voting for.
Yeah.
Dave Holdcraft says, garbage reporting for duty.
All right.
Garbage.
We salute all garbage.
And Tajik San Stan says, recycling, assemble.
I'm not.
You're not recycling?
Down with recycling.
I don't recycle at all, honestly.
Yeah, we were talking about this on the podcast last week, right?
Timmy, the UTE, says Reagan was my commander-in-chief when I was in the Navy.
Thank you for your service.
Oh, man.
Thank you for your service, Timmy.
Yeah.
However, it is the Navy.
Recently, I went to the USS Iowa Museum.
Have you ever been there?
I don't remember where it is.
In Long Beach, California, they have one of the four big Iowa-class battleships, the USS Iowa.
I don't think I've been to that one.
I've been to one, the aircraft carrier in San Diego.
Oh, that's the USS Midway.
Yeah, I've been there.
The Iowa is awesome.
Like, they just have these displays of the powder that they would load into the guns, and the shells are like as tall as you.
We should go back.
America was really great when we had big, giant battleships.
We need to go back to battleships, I think.
I think we still have battleships.
Well, we've got cruisers.
We've got destroyers, a lot of destroyers.
Are they not the same as battleships?
Battleships are just, they have the big 16-inch, 18-inch guns.
I think 16-inch.
Now we have cruise missiles and stuff.
Yeah, I mean, sure, it's technologically obsolete, but still, we were great when we had big, giant battleships.
I think we need to, it says something about you as a nation when you have a big battleship.
You know, when you get your battleship sunken battleship, no one says, oh, you sunk my cruiser.
Yeah, it doesn't say the same.
It's not the same.
Not the same.
Not a good cadence to that.
Make battleships great again.
Battleships were cool.
They were cool.
So what was the bigger one?
The destroyer?
Was that bigger than a battleship?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
But battleship destroyers are small.
So what's bigger than a battleship?
An aircraft carrier?
Aircracker.
Well, yeah, but they're not the same class.
They're not right now.
So the battleship is the biggest, is what you're saying.
Battleship is the big giant, you know, they evolved from the dreadnoughts.
Those are the largest ships bearing guns.
Why?
Meant for surface combat, not meant for missiles or any of that newfangled stuff.
I have Surviving Behind Liberal Lines wants you to know the battleship is actually in San Pedro, not Long Beach.
Oh, it's not Long Beach?
No, it's the general area.
Okay.
You just colloquially said I'm sorry.
It's in California somewhere.
It's actually in the water.
So you're wrong, Surviving Behind Liberal.
Dennis Forsier says they are nothing like World War II ships.
I assume he's talking about the Mars ships.
We can't even make armor like that now.
Probably because we used Roman concrete for those battleships.
We don't have any more armor metal because it's all been used to build the battleships.
Dang it.
We used it all.
But did you guys see Battleship starring Rihanna?
I did.
No.
That did not look good.
I highly recommend.
I honestly recommend Battleship starring Rihanna.
Is this a prank or are you?
No, I honestly recommend it.
And then, like, a week from now, when I sit down and watch it, you're going to be like, you fool.
No, no, it's good.
I like it.
Really?
I actually, I don't want to spoil it now because I was going to talk about the great twist, but I don't want to spoil it now.
So you're going to, you know, you're going to have to watch it.
Honestly.
Is the twist that it's a game?
No.
No.
They do something towards the end where it's like the aliens are launching missiles that look like pegs.
That's the only tie-in to the board game.
I want you to answer one question.
Because I know Liam Neeson's in the movie.
Is there any point in the movie where Liam Neeson goes, you sunk my battleship?
I believe somebody at some point says you sunk my battleship.
I could be wrong on that, but I think somebody says that.
But the twist, when you see the twist coming, because you probably see it coming from a mile away, when it gets kind of towards the end of the movie, you're going to be like, oh, this is, they're going to do that.
And then they do it.
And you're like, no, no.
And you're just going to be blown away.
Dang it.
Now I really want to.
I highly recommend Battleship.
Can we go watch it right now?
Starring Rihanna.
Yeah, can we watch it live?
I'm pretty sure it's public domain.
They forgot to copyright it.
They didn't bother with that one.
All right, we're going to go to Travis now in the map room.
So, Travis, you better get.
He's got to run all the way to D.C. for this.
Run all the way to D.C.
Yeah, he's going to get his exercise in.
Oh, we just got a fact check from our production crew.
Ron Paul is 89 years old.
He was born August 20th, 1935.
So you were right.
That's not a fact check.
Well, I said he was in his 80s.
So you're correct.
Well, fact confirmed.
Fact confirmed, not fact check.
Travis, are you there?
Do we have you, Travis?
Yes.
Travis, hey.
Hi there.
My name's Travis.
I'm reporting in from Washington, D.C., the only place in the United States where you can learn about Waffle House.
And as you can see, this is a record of Waffle House locations by state.
Okay.
All right.
What do we learn from this?
What do you glean from this data?
Well, Kyle, what we learn is that Waffle House is great.
And so all of the states that have Waffle House are great states, including this one.
It's very dark color, has a high concentration of Waffle Houses.
Wow.
Now, all of these states correlate to the American Civil War, the South, except for maybe this guy right here, Colorado.
And so what we see is that these people are ready to fight, and it's all thanks to Waffle House.
So Pennsylvania is the South?
Well, okay, mostly, mostly correlate.
Yes.
The Mason-Dixon line is like, whoa.
Well, now that's the capital.
Well, maybe Robert E. Surprise.
That's what was behind me the whole time.
When Robert E. Lee led the army up north into Pennsylvania and attacked Gettysburg, maybe they captured the waffle house that was up there.
That was the main reason to go up to Pennsylvania, yes.
Okay.
They had a waffle house on Little Round Top, they called it.
And, you know, of course, you know, that great general, never fight uphill, me boys.
Never pour syrup uphill, me boys, because when you do that, it flows downhill.
It goes down the waffle.
It goes down the wall.
It doesn't go up the waffle.
No.
So I saw that 381 waffle houses were in Georgia.
Is that accurate from your research?
Absolutely.
It is accurate.
Wow.
That's a lot of waffle houses.
It is roughly one waffle house per street.
Wow.
You know how you walk down the street and you're like, oh, there's a Starbucks on every block.
Well, that's that one.
All right.
Have you ever heard of the Waffle House Index?
No.
That apparently, you know, when there's a big hurricane or disaster, that's how they measure whether or not you can kind of go back to normal life is whether the waffle house is open.
Right.
I was mistaken.
I just couldn't think of it.
But yes, I do remember hearing about that.
It's similar to the Whataburger power map.
Like they people will use apps to see if a Whataburger has power during like a tornado or storm or something like that.
And they'll go, oh, this is more accurate than the city maps.
All right.
And that's why I am formally now recommending a merge between Whataburger and Waffle House.
It's called What a Waffle.
That would be unstoppable.
That would be like make America great again and make America healthy again.
It's all in Project 2025, Dan.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I haven't read the whole project.
It's in there somewhere.
It's in there.
It's near the end, right after it's revealed that Donald Trump was a ghost the whole time.
All right.
I wonder why Democrats are so worried about Project 2025 then.
That sounds like a great idea.
I think, yeah.
Project 2025.
What can I say?
What can I say?
Well, you know, back to you guys in the studio.
All right.
Well, thank you, Travis.
In a while here.
That was awesome.
All right.
Nice of Travis to go out to D.C. to do that.
We've got a couple more graphics coming up for you.
Little updates coming up from Twitter, from X. Hey, Travis.
Wow.
That was fast.
That was fast.
You made it back from Washington, D.C. quite quickly.
Well, you know, I have access to a Concorde.
They discontinued those planes, but I have one.
Oh, those are the ones that have like the nose.
It's kind of pointy.
Yeah.
They could make it from, I believe it was New York or so to London in like three hours.
Wow.
One of them crashed one time.
Ruined it for everybody.
That's terrible.
I mean, obviously it was terrible that it crashed, but I mean, Boeings crash, and they don't just go, ah, we can't make Boeings anymore.
So I'm not really sure what's up with that.
Okay, Riley Gaines has tweeted that Polymarket still shows a tide race in Nevada now.
What?
Why are you saying that?
I guess it's tightening.
Okay.
The polymer market is showing tide race.
Well, again, Polymarket is just betting on, so it doesn't really.
Yeah, that's not polling or exit polling.
Now I forget.
For some reason, you know, another thing that can happen with betting markets is that as people see a really good bet, like, well, she's only got a 30% chance of winning.
I'm going to put money on that because that's not terrible.
Yeah.
So now the number gets inflated.
And then that number goes up.
That's the way.
Yeah.
That's the way betting ons work.
So here's Libs of TikTok saying, CNN says Kamala didn't have enough time to introduce herself to the country.
I mean, well, no.
She just had four years as vice president, you know.
Besides that, what a joke.
You know, you don't know what's going to happen here, right?
And you don't want to sit here and be like, oh, obviously.
But at the same time, it's like they're already making excuses.
They are.
They are.
So it doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good for them.
They clearly think it doesn't look good.
Yeah.
You got to wonder if they have, you know, a fix ready.
Like, I'm not this big conspiracy theory guy that thinks there's just hundreds of thousands of ballots ready to go and like and ship in there and influence the race that way.
I think they kind of steal it and play inside in a lot of ways, you know, where it's like expanding voting hours, doing things unconstitutionally, changing the laws at the last minute to get that vote that they want where they're concentrated in Democratic areas to get those votes out.
But you kind of wonder at some point if they look at how bad Kamala's been doing in the polls and they're like, yeah, you know what?
We're not going to risk it this time.
Like we're just going to let her just pull back.
Pull back and stand by.
Like we'll try to let her win, but if she doesn't win, we're not going to pull out all the stops to get her in office.
Like we'll just let Trump be his Trumpy self for the next four years and then we'll fuel that into an electoral victory in four years from now.
Like maybe at some point they just.
They do the math and they go, well, we can just impeach him four more times.
Yeah.
Right.
A week.
Yeah.
Four times a week.
Coffee Acorn Music on our live chat says, shouldn't this be on not the be since the election is real?
Kyle.
Is the election real?
Do we have any proof?
Doesn't the government only have power over us because we all act like it does?
Yeah, because the consent of the governed.
So if I don't consent, there's no government.
There's no government.
Correct.
However, Benjamin Franklin once said, I governed, therefore I am.
Ah.
Your thoughts.
He was a good president.
He was a great president.
He's on the 20.
Another interesting thing this year is the fact that Elon Musk owns X.
And we have a free platform to see all the information from all the different sources.
And you've got to wonder what this would be like if we like all the things that we wouldn't have heard about, even.
It would be totally different.
Imagine everything being run by a censor over at YouTube or just kidding.
We love you, YouTube.
But like we just got taken off of YouTube.
Well, just think about how many times we've been dinged by, you know, oh, you know, like we put up a podcast and it's like, oh, this is talking about COVID.
And there's like a little warning label and we see that the reach goes down.
It doesn't reach as many people as some other podcasts might.
Are you saying that COVID isn't real?
Now we're going to get flagged.
Now we're flagged.
Thanks for watching.
But think about if all of our social media, well, think about this.
Think about the legacy media, like MSNBC, CNN.
If all the news that you ever got about this election was through them, and then when you went to Facebook or Twitter or whatever, it was just reinforcing whatever they just told you.
And anybody who said anything different got kicked off.
I think Elon Musk buying Twitter was so huge.
I don't think this election would be anything close to what it is without that.
It's, you know, it's an interesting point.
And, you know, what I like about Elon with Twitter is that it hasn't become a hostile place for liberals.
It's just now no one's being censored.
Which is a hostile place for liberals.
Sorry.
You're right.
Oh, man.
So Dennis Forrest here says, what does Bucky say?
He's a stuffed animal.
He doesn't say anything.
I'm pretty sure Bucky would vote for Trump.
Pretty sure.
Yeah, he's.
You can see the hat.
Yeah, he would definitely go for Trump.
I think the owner of Bucky's has been a little quiet politically, but come on.
You got to think.
You got to think.
Here's a meme we got.
Half the country right now.
All right.
Like, what is this?
Eating popcorn, Coors Light.
Get all your ammo.
Yep.
He's wearing a ski mask.
Hey, what's that thing in the back with the red eyeballs?
Is that like a squirrel?
Is that a pet of some kind?
The squirrel.
We got to zoom in.
Zoom.
Enhance.
Enhance.
I can't tell.
I still can't tell.
It looks like a pill.
Oh, it's a dog.
It's a dog.
Oh, there's a dog back there.
The dog is waiting for his dog.
Hey, this is a great time to remind you guys that we have a book coming out in exactly one week.
It's called The Babylon Bee Guide to the Apocalypse.
The Babylon Bee Guide to the Apocalypse will teach you how to survive the apocalypse.
And this is apropos of nothing that is happening right now.
Oh, yeah.
It has nothing in common with anything.
The most important election in United States history.
What's nice about this book is it will be relevant no matter who wins this election.
Absolutely.
And it's available on Amazon.
It is available on our store at shop.babylonbee.com.
And if you use code podcast to buy it directly from us, you will get a little discount, a little present from us for sitting here and sticking around for our live stream while all those losers went off and watched Crowder.
What?
A bunch of maroons.
Yeah.
Crowder had like one or two good albums.
So I'm sorry, Kyle.
When does the book come out?
Book comes out on November 12th.
So go check it out.
Babylon Bee Guide to the Apocalypse: How to Survive All the Possible World-Ending Scenarios from Artificial Intelligence to Zombies.
It's written by all the Babylon Bee writers who write all those funny headlines you laugh at every day, and it has wonderful stick figures, mostly done by Travis.
I think mostly, yeah.
Yeah, and Bettina did a lot of the art and all the drawing.
Most of the hand drawings.
All hand drawing is the art.
Any art piece in this book that took skill, Bettina did.
If it's a stick figure, Travis.
Which, okay, I'm just kidding.
It still took a lot of skill.
But you have to, because you have to pose them in funny ways.
Yeah, and that's hard.
You have to go like, ah.
You have to be like, ha, funny.
Yeah.
And then sometimes I would post stuff and you'd be like, not funny.
Not funny.
Sorry.
This is the life of a Babylon Bee writer.
Funny?
Not funny.
Not funny.
Not beautiful.
Sorry.
Sorry, not beautiful.
That's what I keep telling people.
Sorry.
Not funny.
This is why most writers are alcoholics.
Oh, because it's not funny?
No.
No, because they have a hard time with critique.
And rejection.
And rejection, yeah.
It is hard.
Stephen King was an alcoholic.
Yeah, he was.
But he was.
He was critiquing Stephen King.
Like, Stephen King just does his thing, right?
Yeah.
I don't think he became an alcoholic because of criticism.
I think he just said, I just liked beer and I kept drinking it, you know.
And he would just drink and drink and drink early in his career.
And eventually he just woke up one day and said, holy crap, I'm an alcoholic.
He was doing the thing of drinking 18 beers in a day type thing.
Yeah, he would write books and he doesn't remember writing the book.
He doesn't remember writing his own.
And that was also the drugs.
It's probably Bud Light.
I mean, quite likely, quite likely we're talking Bud Light with a guy like that.
And if you read his Twitter account today, it looks like he's drunk.
But I think he's actually maintained his sobriety.
Yeah.
You know what?
Good for you, Stephen King.
Good for you.
I'm actually proud of you, Stephen King.
I'm sure he's thrilled to hear it.
Oh, absolutely.
He is.
All right, guys.
Well, we're going to get a little bit of time left.
We can sit here for a bit.
I think some of the exit polls are going to start coming out here as we get closer.
And some of the polls are starting to close.
It's what is it?
7 o'clock on the East Coast.
7 p.m. on the East Coast.
Yeah.
It's a little different being on the West Coast.
Sports games, like football games start during church, guys.
Any of you guys on the East Coast, I don't know if you know this, but football, NFL games start like at 10 a.m.
Yeah, it's the biggest reason that people fall away from the church.
Like, I want to watch that game.
Honestly, there are people that don't go to church because of NFL, which is sad.
Yes.
Not good.
What else?
The other weird thing is when I go to the East Coast and I'm like trying to follow a baseball game that's on the West Coast, it's like 11 o'clock and the game starts.
It's like 11 p.m.
I'm like, what's going on here?
Oh, yeah.
But then sometimes on Saturday mornings, it's 9 a.m. and the game's already started.
So very strange.
We have it hard out here.
I wonder if they have things like that in Russia because isn't Russia like divided against like eight tiny?
Oh, it must be, right?
So if you're on the east coast of Russia and you're trying to follow cricket, cricket, back in Moscow, they don't have any sports in Russia.
Curling?
Oh.
Oh, yeah, they have curling.
Ice punching.
Curling falling.
Oh, they've got slap fighting.
My favorite ice punching team is playing a game right, a rubber match.
Oh, wait, that happened yesterday.
Because of the time zones.
Nine.
They probably do slap fighting.
What is no in Russia?
Nyet.
Yet.
Nyet.
Not yet.
Like that.
Yeah.
Nyet.
Do they yell no when they're like, ah, nyet!
Like that?
I wonder if every language yells no in that sense.
Because, you know, sometimes they don't actually say, like, we use the word no.
It's like, no, but they might not just yell the negative.
You know?
I think that's probably universal.
Yeah, probably.
Like, like, like pain or laughter.
Yeah.
The universal language.
But even like the way the words that they use for what animals say, it's different in every country.
Like, not everybody says that cows say moo.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, I have seen that.
You know, you've seen that like in Japan, they're like, for cows.
Yeah, and you're like, they don't sound like that, new moron.
All right, here's an update from AP Votecast: less than half of voters are very confident about ballot counts.
Four in ten voters said they were very confident about their that their ballots would be accurately counted nationwide according to AP Votecast, which is a survey of more than 115,000 voters.
That's not good.
Yeah, and that probably leans Trump, right?
Three and four said they were somewhat confident, while nearly one in four were not confident in the ballot counts.
Yeah.
Voters were more confident in the tallies in their individual states, with about half saying they were very confident.
Now, that's interesting.
Are they being like, hey, I'm from Alabama?
My state's all right.
I just worry about all the other states.
Yeah.
Is that what I'm getting from that?
They're worried about Michigan or Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
Or Mississippi.
Can't trust Mississippi.
No.
No.
Yeah.
So, Dan, what's your favorite ocean?
Well, growing up in California, I'd say Pacific Ocean, but it is colder.
I'm told that the water comes down from Alaska.
So I'd be curious.
Would I like a warmer ocean?
That's something I need to explore.
You know, the climate change activists warn us about, oh, the sea temperatures are rising, and that's bad.
And I'm like, that sounds great.
I would love it if the ocean was just a jacuzzi.
Or the Pacific Ocean, man.
Definitely have to be a little bit warmer.
Somebody has replied to me.
I tweeted out election results are in.
Christ's still on his throne.
And someone replies to me, Christ was on the throne during the rise of the Third Reich, too.
Good point.
Clearly, they need to read that GK Chesterton essay.
Exactly.
So don't go nuts out there.
I mean, it's an election.
It's important, but, you know, don't be like that.
Yeah.
And you know, Jacob C. says Claire installed those shelves, referring to our former intern.
Oh, yeah, Claire.
Claire.
I don't remember her installing those shelves, but I have been hit by a bus.
Trump is down in the polymarkets about 3% over the past hour, 62 to 59.
Ah, it's over.
It's all over.
Just forget it.
Yep.
Well, Kyle, where are you moving when Kamala wins?
Well, I already don't live in America because I live in California.
So, you know what?
You know what's funny?
I joke.
I jest.
I joke, but there is some truth that you have a little bit of a buffer living in California where you've already experienced the worst of the policies.
Sure.
So, because a lot of the fears of the country is like, if Kamala gets elected, she's going to bring all the terrible policies from California.
Like, well, we already have those.
And it sucks, but it's like we're alive.
We are alive.
This is true.
But on the other hand, it makes you want to say, how could it possibly get any worse?
And then it starts raining when you vote.
Yeah.
And here, yeah, exactly.
And then the whole state catches on fire.
Yeah.
We could use more rain.
But there's no rain.
Here's something I found.
I think it was on the Reddit Lies Twitter account.
To American women that voted for Trump today.
This is going to sound beyond messed up, but I hope every American woman that can ovulate and vote over Trump gets pregnant with an unwanted baby and is forced to carry that child against your will.
Whoa.
And is then further forced to properly care for Sid Child.
Whoa.
Well, on the one hand, that will improve our population because the birth rate is down.
We don't want to force people to get pregnant.
Travis.
There is so much hate, man.
Like, I can see how, you know, in this room, we're kind of normal people and be like, well, I don't want Kamala to win, but if she wins, you know, I got to keep, my life's got to keep going and I got to keep working or whatever.
But there's some people that are, their identity is so wrapped up and my team has to win.
It's literally the end of the world.
If you voted against me, I hate you.
Like, that is so wild.
It is absolutely wild.
I want the worst possible thing to happen to you, to happen to you.
And this tweet from Bet Midler shows a picture of Corbel.
I guess, is that a champagne?
But the post-it note that says Kamala wins.
He's such a good Church of Christ guy.
Thank you.
And then there's a jug of Drano and says Trump wins.
So if Trump wins, she will drink Drano.
Bet Midler will be drinking Drano.
It looks like Indiana and Kentucky have been officially called for Trump by the Associated Press.
Okay.
I guess that's it.
Election's over.
Vermont has been called for the other one.
Oh.
She who must not be named.
So we've got three for Kamala.
It's over.
19 for Trump.
Yeah.
The count.
The count begins here.
Yeah.
Georgia's leaning red.
Well, Georgia's going to look all red, but they're going to be dumping.
There's one big city.
Atlanta.
Florida's obviously going red.
That's the one.
Yeah, Florida looks like it was leaning heavily red.
What's wild is Florida, too, because a couple election cycles ago, they were like almost a purple state.
People were thinking, oh, maybe this will be the next battleground and it'll go Democrat maybe.
And there were a few close elections.
Close with Bush Corps, yeah.
Yeah, so it looks like Ron DeSantis is a really clean house down there.
And they're like, man, these Republicans are doing a good job.
Remember, if you guys start watching the Lord of the Rings extended editions right now, then at about 3:30 a.m. Pacific time, you will finish them.
And you'll be at the end of two towers right around the time midnight rolls around and election day is over.
I thought you were going to say, like, at the time the ballots close, it'll say, what can men do against such reckless hate?
I can't.
I don't have enough calculation powers.
Yeah.
I don't know math.
You just know the runtime of all three movies, the extended editions.
It's about 11 hours.
It's like 11 and a half or 11.10 or 11.15.
It's actually a little less than I thought it was because I thought all three extended editions were like four hours each, but it's like 11 total.
All right, here's a map we've got from AP, and this is there it is: Indiana and Kai are both called for Trump, and then VT has been called for Kamala Harris by Associated Press.
So no surprises yet, right?
Not yet.
Those are ones we would have assumed would go those ways.
Oh, now they've got Georgia lean in blue.
Oh, they have a lean in blue now?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's over.
They dumped it the other way.
Yeah.
What's the point of living?
Yeah.
And this is with 3% of votes.
Yeah.
3%.
I like how they shade the entire state with 3% counted.
3%.
It's leaning this way now.
Yeah, what's the point of all these little boxes?
I don't know.
Because I highlight them and they, I guess, they're the number of counties.
The number of electoral votes.
Yeah, I think so.
But there is a block.
It's just one or the other.
Yeah, but if I highlight them, they still just show the same.
I was thinking it was going to show the count for a county or something.
We need reform for how we report on elections.
I feel like all these things are so stupid.
Like all the polling things, you click on a website for CNN or whatever.
Like the way that they frame things is so dumb.
Well, you can't learn anything.
I'll stop you right there.
While you are agree, it's all stupid.
When you say we need reform, that suggests the government needs to need a law.
There ought to be a law.
There needs to be a jail for bad reporting and things that are misleading.
Right.
Shading an entire state light blue because 3% of reporting is in.
That's weird.
That should be instant jail.
It's straight to jail.
Not as bad as when Fox News called Arizona for Biden.
Yeah.
Because they outright called it.
They didn't just go, oh, it's shading that way.
Like, yeah, he's got it.
Yeah.
It was weird.
That was a weird one.
Did they end up going Republican that year or were they were they for they didn't, but they ended up being very close.
But it was just the fact that Fox News called it like hours ago.
They called it so early before other networks.
Yeah.
Engineer in Hickory Stripe Hat in comment section here says Google Trends just had a big spike for the search.
Who is Bet Midley?
You don't want to know, kid.
You don't want to know.
The Padres and manager Mike Schultz are finalizing a two-year extension that will run through 2027, according to the San Diego YouTube.
Oh, is that good?
Yeah, we like Mike Schultz.
He was a good manager this year.
You guys had a good run this year, the Padres.
You know, when I say you, I mean your team.
Yeah, it really collapsed in the playoffs at the end.
But other than that, great year.
And it should be another great year coming up here.
Counterpoint, Drake the Dragon says pop.
Oh, yeah.
In the great soda debate.
Oh, got it.
Pop.
I was just trying to put an on-sequiter in there and then.
Yeah, no, I got it now.
There are some parts of the country.
Some parts of the country that say soda pop.
They put the two together.
I say pop when I want to be old-timey.
It's got an old time.
Which is almost never.
Yeah.
It's like, ah, give me that pop.
Hand over the pop.
If only we had a law, we could standardize it across the entire nation.
You're definitely not libertarian anymore.
The free market will handle the soda vocabulary.
Yeah.
Are we able to cut to a video or no?
Anything's possible if you believe.
If we play our Kamala Harris thing, hey, that's a good idea.
Hey, production people, can we cut to a video?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do that.
Can you guys play the Kamala Harris sketch we put out today?
I believe that they are working on it.
All right.
Well, we'll be cutting to a video in a minute here.
Yeah.
Well, thanks for being with us on this election day, people.
This is nice to hang out with you.
It was fun.
More hope than usual.
Yeah.
So enjoy this video.
Just like the end of Rogue One.
Hey, look, Travis.
Who's that jerk?
Wait, how are you on that screen there when you're sitting right here?
What?
Movie magic.
Wow.
Wow.
I believe any second now they should be able to play this.
Any minute now.
Any minute.
Oh, maybe I'll put on my headphones and listen.
Oh, well, we don't have to listen.
I want to listen.
The viewers need to listen.
All the audios like feeding back when I'm.
All right, we'll figure it out.
Terrible.
The Archangel Gabriel is giving us bad news here.
Well, we have a sketch.
You can go find it on the website.
Look at Michael Knowles has a live stream.
He's got way more viewers than us.
What?
We should call him.
Call him right now.
We're funnier than Michael Knowles.
We're funnier than Michael Knowles.
I'm not as smart as Michael Knowles.
We're funnier.
Yeah.
Michael Knowles is pretty funny.
He is funny.
That's true.
Funny looking.
Yeah.
Live stream issues.
Sorry, viewers.
We're trying to make it happen for you.
Sorry, I threw a wrench and everything.
Yeah.
You were always doing that.
The last second.
Do you like your Amazon Echo?
But wish its answers were more confusing.
Where's that coming?
Introducing Amazon Echo Commalexa Edition.
This great new device will just give you a long, rambling answer to anything you ask.
Kamalexa, what's the weather like today?
Weather is big.
Weather is exciting.
And did you know that files are stored in the cloud?
Your files, they're all up there, up in the cloud.
In the cloud.
So the climate is changing, and that's bad.
Oh, hey, Kamalexa, what time is it?
The significance of the passage of time, right?
The significance of the passage of time.
When you think about it, there is a great significance to the passage of time.
Thanks, Kamalexa.
Kamalexa has millions of great answers to your questions.
Whether you're wondering about the stock market, traffic in your area, or the Roman Empire, Kamalexa has got you covered.
Amazon Echo, Comalexa Edition, available now.
You look so significant.
Hey, Kamalxa.
People are telling me about illegal aliens.
How many illegal aliens did you let in on your watch?
Oh, that's so good.
I like our temptation to turn every sketch into a horror, a horror sketch by the end.
I love that shot where you just look so satisfied with your purchase.
You're like, I'm so glad I bought this Kamalexa.
This is fantastic.
What time is it?
The passage of time.
Passage of time is significant.
She's right.
And you're just like, that is true.
Oh, man.
Choopie Lover says, should we ask Kamalexa if Travis is getting paid?
Come Alexa, is Travis getting paid?
Oh, she probably won't give us an answer.
That's the problem.
I was born in a middle-class family.
Oh, that makes sense.
We got a comment from Jim.
He says, I remember traveling from Michigan to Florida.
I stopped in Kentucky for lunch and asked them for pop.
I got a really weird look.
Oh.
The language barrier.
Okay.
Because of the pop.
They asked for pop.
Yeah, they didn't know what pop was all right.
So, does anyone want some behind-the-scenes trivia about that sketch?
Yes, yes.
So, Jarrett is the voice of the narrator, but when he was recording his lines, he kept calling it Kamalexica.
And Dan had to call him out.
He's like, Hey, but Dan is so nice and polite, which I appreciate.
But he's like, Hey, Jared, I don't know if it matters, but I think you're saying Kamalexica.
And I probably just would have been like, Jared, that's wrong.
That's my uh, my Midwestern manners.
Yeah, no, it was good, it was good.
And he delivered.
I felt really bad because we kind of let him record for like five or six minutes, and they were like, Hey, by the way, that was all wrong.
You need to redo that whole thing.
Yeah, I guess I wasn't paying much attention when he was recording.
Yeah, I like Jack Quillman's comment here: TV on, sound off, listening to you guys.
Make us laugh before we slit our throats.
Whoa, that's gonna be our new uh, our new motto.
Make us laugh before we slit our throats.
We're gonna make them laugh before they slit their throats.
We can add that to our comment generator on the show.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Make us laugh.
Who can do that?
Who does that?
Does that is that would be a Dan Dillon thing?
So maybe you can talk to him.
Dan Dylan, put in a good word.
Dan Dylan, would you add Make Us Laugh Before We Slit Our Throats?
A generated comment?
I don't know what you call them.
Also, should we ask Comalexa if Travis should get paid?
I think that'd be kind of funny too.
It's probably a good thing that I don't have access to add the generated comments because I'd probably add too many.
Yeah, it would get overloaded.
Yeah, it'd be diluted.
Yeah, but they would all be funny.
So, Pano says, Have you guys not seen the election-themed Bucky shirt?
There's an election-themed Bucky shirt?
I have not seen election.
Why did we not get these delivered to us?
That's a good question.
I have to look here: Bucky's America vote 2024.
Well, while you look that up, Bell Cranell says Georgia is now shaded red.
Now they're back to red.
I see it went back to red.
They reported another 1% of the vote.
Now it's now lean and red.
It's still 3% of votes counting.
It's like doesn't really matter at this stage.
But we'll see.
It's going to go back and forth until the end of the time.
Yeah, I see a Bucky's 2024, a party we can all join.
I would get behind the Bucky's party.
Yeah, I would join the Buckies party.
Do you think that if Trump does lose, he'll join the Buckies party?
Yeah, or just become the like take it over.
Yeah, I can see him just being like, I'm now the truth party.
That's a nice shirt.
I like it.
Uh, CNN, new CNN exit poll: 20-point swing towards Trump among independents in Georgia.
Whoa, that's from Greg Price.
That's one of those swing states.
That's a good, that's a good amount of swinging.
That is the appropriate amount of swinging.
Management.
Well, I know that they were doing polling up until Election Day, and Kamala was struggling with all sorts of groups of voters that they just don't trust her.
They didn't like her for whatever reason.
I mean, for whatever reason.
Well, I mean, there's groups that historically vote Democrat.
Yeah, right, right.
And this election, they were kind of like, not really.
Yeah.
You know what I didn't understand about the advertising from the Kamala campaign?
Is they kept pushing this narrative that Republicans are going Kamala in huge numbers.
You know, like they kept doing the billboards with a guy that's like, I'm a Republican and a veteran, and I voted for Kamala Harris.
And I'm like, I just don't think that person exists.
You know, like, maybe there's a couple of them out there.
I don't know.
But David French.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Although he's not Republican.
I saw David French's wife on Twitter.
She was making comments like that.
Like, you could be a Christian and vote for Kamala.
I don't think you can.
And it's like, well, okay.
What does that prove?
What does that mean?
Like, I don't, I don't, what are you getting at?
I mean, and I did kind of off the cuff just say, I don't think you can.
You can, but it's also a problem.
Like, you can be a Christian.
You can be a Christian and you can sin.
Yeah.
Right.
What does that prove?
Like, okay.
You can.
That's not like what you should be doing.
Right.
You know, get your heart right.
Manimal says, is Shadow Sonic's running mate?
No.
Shadow is a Democrat.
His running mate is Tails.
Okay.
Well, that makes sense.
Sonic and Tails.
And then if Sonic gets shot at, like an assassin, Tails can just fly up and pick him up and then fly up.
Now you're getting it.
Which is nice.
Yeah, I don't understand this narrative that they're trying to push.
Like, I'm a normal American and I switched over.
Kamala Harris.
But I don't know who they're trying to appeal to.
Like a smart campaign strategy mobilizes your base.
And you talk to your base about things your base cares about.
Yes, you try to appeal to independents to some degree, but you're not convincing Republicans to switch over.
I think they're just so out of touch that they think they are.
Yeah, maybe.
Because we're that demographic they're trying to go after.
And we're just watching it.
Like, what's going on?
Like, why?
It's condescending, though.
I mean, they're just putting on a show of like, they're faking all these people.
They were banking heavily that people thought democracy is really on the ballot here.
Like, if we vote Trump in, democracy is over.
And I don't think voters just typically care about that.
And here's the thing: if I actually thought democracy would be over, that might mean something.
But at the same time, I'm going to vote no because of how she stands on abortion.
Sure.
I would rather everything go down in flame.
And I also think that she is a greater threat to democracy, you know?
Like everything that they're accusing Trump of doing themselves.
You know, they're actually doing it themselves.
Yeah.
Like, oh, there's this authoritarian leader that's going to prosecute his political opponents.
I'm like, that's what you guys are doing.
That's what you're doing.
They're doing it right now.
All right, we have this is a preview of an article on the Babylon Bee.
It hasn't even gone out yet.
It hasn't even gone out yet.
Oh, wow.
I can read it so on the live stream right now.
You are getting exclusive, exclusive behind-the-scenes look at an article that has not even gone out yet.
And producers, I will toss this over to the Coates message if you want to throw this picture up.
Wow.
You guys are in for a treat.
This is a first.
I actually don't even, I haven't even read the copy yet.
I don't know if it's done, but we're going to find out.
All right, this is the Babylon B guide.
How to spot a male Harris voter.
So you're at the polls.
You see a guy, you want to know if he's voting for Kamala Harris.
Number one, he keeps posting selfies and refers to himself as a straight man.
I'm a straight man.
Yeah, I'm a straight man.
Yeah.
I see that.
Straight man here.
Straight for Harris for Harris.
You usually don't have to say it so many times.
He's having difficulty making his ballot selection due to his jazz hands.
That would be a problem.
I'm a big fan of jazz hands as a punchline.
I'll be honest.
Jazz Hands is good.
Sang entirety of A Little Fall of Rain from Lehmizerop while he's waiting in line.
Well, that's just Jarrett.
That's true.
I'm a little concerned about whoever wrote this list.
They know the name of this song.
The white dude for Harris.
It could be.
We might have a mall.
Declines to use the urinal.
Oh, no.
Only piece.
Or they use the urinal and it's way too close to the next person.
They go all the way.
They go all the way next to the next person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The wording decline sees it urinal makes it sound like someone.
Sir, would you like to use the urinal?
I'll decline.
I'll politely decline it.
He's gay.
And also his name is Harry Sisson.
Sisson.
I don't know how to say his name.
Yeah.
That's that young lad that's always on that weed lad.
I think he posted a tweet this morning.
It was a picture of him and several other people that are going to vote.
And they're like, oh, we're all straight dudes for Harris.
And it's like, well, if you have to say it, I feel like checking off every box on this list here.
Hey, we're all straight.
And we're voting for Harris.
And we're not using urinals.
We're totally not gay at all.
Yeah.
Everything he is wearing is plaid.
Is that a thing?
Plaid.
I guess pants, like plaid pants, plaid on the pot.
That's more like a hipster thing.
Plaid shoes.
I guess I've never really.
Yeah, but I wouldn't see a guy in plaid pants and be like, I don't know.
Oh, my first thought was just like a flannel shirt.
What?
I didn't understand that one.
I was like, Joel Berry?
His balls fell off while he was in the voting booth.
Oh, man, he's trying to put it in there, Kyle.
I turned down this headline.
They wanted to run this headline as a headline, and I turned it down.
And they said, that's what happens, the stuff that you reject.
They say they have a copy of something else.
And the final sign that this person is a male Kamala Harris voter, he's dead.
Sad.
Because those votes will go for the Democrats.
Oh, is that why?
Because the dead.
Oh.
It's a voter.
It's a voter fraud joke.
Oh, that's what it is.
You know, that does seem to happen every election season, though.
They're like, oh, and they found out some dead voters.
And I'm like, why does this keep happening?
It doesn't seem to me like that is the number one big source of election fraud.
Like that seems to always be a smaller thing.
Like if there's always, yeah, you know, like, oh, this person wasn't purged from the roll and some weirdo filled it out and sent it in, you know?
Maybe that's why it keeps happening because it's so small.
I guess.
But it's still like there's got to be a way to tam down on it.
Gotta, yeah.
So we're getting an update in our comments from Ted Nugent.
Do you think that's actual Ted Nugent?
Oh, I guarantee it is.
He says Florida's at 64% and it's up 550,000 votes.
Well, thank you, Ted Nugent.
I'm assuming that's 64% for Trump.
Or is it 64%?
No, is he up 64% from where he was, or is it 64% of the votes?
64% of votes have been counted.
Trump is winning about 54 to 46.
Oh, wow.
And he's got 3.9 million votes.
She's got 3.3 million votes.
So it looks pretty solid, solidly in the balance.
No longer a swing state anymore.
I think that's solidly red.
Yeah, I don't think that's even close to a swing state right now.
I'm really bad at envisioning math.
So you're saying all that, and I hear Dan going, oh, wow.
And I'm like, is it?
If you have one pizza and you cut it up into fourths, and then you cut it again so that you have eighths, then you give Trump six of the slices.
No, is that helping?
No, it's not.
That would be he's up 75, 25.
Right?
I'm not really doing the math myself.
Okay, if you cut it into 100 pieces.
Okay, we need to get this right.
If you cut a pizza, no, a pie, into 100 pieces.
What kind of pie?
It's an orange meringue pie.
I don't really like those.
Well, it's Trump.
Florida.
It's Florida.
Wait, why are we cutting a Trump?
It's Florida because it's orange.
Florida's the orange state.
That is the state motto.
The orange state.
Florida, the orange state.
And you cut that up into 1,000 pieces of pie.
What?
So you can picture this.
I'm trying to use units that you'll understand.
You cut it up into a thousand pieces of pie.
Trump has eaten 545 of those pieces.
Wow, what a fatty.
Right?
And, well, they're small pieces.
It's a small, it's a regular size pie.
The pieces are very thin.
And then interesting issue.
Because we thought we were only going to end it round four-ish, we gave 30 minutes a leeway for Twitter, and it is now ended.
So it ended on Twitter?
Yeah, just now.
Oh, that's okay.
We're still going on YouTube?
Yeah.
Yeah, who cares about Twitter?
Oh, who cares about Twitter?
Yeah.
Twitter had to be aware of it.
We love you, Elon.
Oh, wow.
You know what?
Forget you.
All right.
Well, we'll wrap it up soon then.
We have this great meme that we can show everybody.
Oh, yeah.
Let's show it.
Can we show it?
Not the bee posted this meme.
Can we show this to everybody?
I hope so.
Only to the YouTube people.
Did they all see this?
I don't know.
He just said yep.
Okay.
So it's SpongeBob, and he's sitting there and it says, me waiting to see if we get affordable groceries or World War III.
It even rhymes.
Me waiting to see if we get affordable groceries or World War III.
I like it.
That's kind of nice.
Yeah.
Didn't Not the Bee do like a meme roundup?
Was that for the election or was that for?
Oh, I'm sure if they have it, they're going to.
Let's check.
Let's check Not the Bee live.
Let's go to notthebe.com.
That's where I go when I want to read my news.
Not the Bee.
The real news.
The real news.
Not the fake news.
So that's where I'm going.
Can anybody get us to notthebee.com?
I don't know if anybody's abandoned the.
The sad part is that C can't read.
I think it's happening.
Well, there's election updates.
I don't see the meme thing.
Trump has been awarded West Virginia.
The Medal of Honor.
The Medal of Honor for winning West Virginia.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's cold country, man.
Is West Virginia where deliverance took place?
No.
Wasn't that closer?
Wasn't it like Ozarks or something?
It was in the Appalachia.
I just don't know.
I've never seen it.
I've never heard of it.
Don't see it.
Yeah, I heard it's bad, right?
No, it's not.
It's just, it'll change you.
Yeah.
Well, here's the latest updates on our sister site, Not the Bee.
Let's see.
Trump reminding everyone to stay in line.
Multiple Georgia polling places are evacuated.
Bomb threat.
Oh, man.
It's a bomb threat thing.
So they're going to stay open later.
Just the Milwaukee.
We're way ahead of these guys.
We've got a post message regarding ballot recounts in Milwaukee.
Okay.
Hey, a post from Adam Ford.
Hey, Adam Ford is back.
All right, let's act out the latest Adam Ford comic.
You should all follow Adam Ford, Adam, number four, D, on Twitter and everywhere else.
Daddy, why did you vote for Kamala?
Oh, I did it for you, my sweet angel, for your rights.
So one day you could be free to sleep with as many random losers as you want without any consequences.
I'm sorry.
What?
We need the little leprechaun to come up.
The joke is that he wants to kill your babies.
Oh, man.
For our new watchers and listeners.
We have a leprechaun.
We have a leprechaun thing in the subscriber launch of our podcast that comes up every once in a while.
Every once in a while.
He just, you know.
Joel Osteen, they call him.
Yep.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin will recount 30,000 absentee ballots.
As we said earlier, we're way ahead of these guys, aren't we?
Let's see.
Jill Biden wore MAGA red to vote.
Yeah, that is an odd choice to win.
Maybe she was trying to mimic the handmaid's tale a little bit because they wear the red cloaks.
Oh, she's trying to.
Yeah.
And then Trump War Room talking about seeing an exit poll.
Only 7% of voters are enthusiastic.
Yeah, we kind of talked about that.
Enthusiastic about the state of the country.
That's a hard thing for Kamala to run on.
Obviously, there's problems in our economy and there's problems with the way things are going.
And then you run an election as kind of like the hope and change candidate.
And then they ask you, like, well, what are you going to change?
Well, nothing.
It's like, but everything's terrible right now.
But we can't go back.
Yeah.
We can't go back.
So according to CNN, 43% are dissatisfied and 29% are angry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Trump's now in the lead on the polymarket betting site in every swing state except Michigan.
Yeah, that was a few hours ago.
Yeah.
So we'll know where it lies now.
Did we see that the FBI has arrested two liberal men in Michigan?
Oh, they made deaths.
They were accused of making death threats against Trump.
I did not hear that.
Oh, okay.
How many times, man?
How many times is this going to happen?
It's the party of joy.
It's the party of joy.
Is there anything more, Dan?
Oh, probably.
I like this meme I'm seeing of the tip screen coming up after you vote.
Add a tip.
What?
Is that a real thing?
No, it's please tip your poll worker.
I can send this over.
We can put this up on the screen.
So we've kind of gone over all this stuff with not the bees in general.
Yeah.
It sounded like Florida should get called fairly soon.
It's kind of unclear why they're not calling it at this point.
He's up by 10 points.
He's up by 10 points with 72% of the vote counted.
They just need to call it.
They're not calling it because they don't want to.
Probably.
Yeah.
Harris is currently up in North Carolina and Virginia.
Trump is up in South Carolina and Georgia, but all those states, very few of the vote, very little of the vote counted so far.
It's kind of a weird, surreal sensation to be stuck in this podcasting room while the election's going on.
I just had the surreal moment where, hey, there's an election going on.
It's happening right now.
I feel like we're in a bunker somewhere.
Yeah, it's like we're in a capsule and we're getting messages from this screen that we're looking at, but we don't know if the screen is lying to us or not.
That's like a Twad Zone episode.
The vote has started to be counted in Ohio as well.
Polymarket presidential election winner 62%.
This is live or close to live?
39% Kamala Harris.
Popular vote winners still heavy on Kamala.
Still everybody thinks 74% towards Kamala.
Which actually isn't as much as you would think because the Dems always win the popular vote nowadays.
I don't know about always.
I mean, in recent presidential elections, right?
When's the last time the Republican won the?
It'd be nice if it was just the too big to rig thing where we just got the popular vote and the electoral vote.
Oh, that would be awesome.
That would be sweet.
It's already too late, but it would have been nice if Kamala got zero votes.
It would have been really nice.
In a just world.
I wonder if they're going to, you know, the other one that's coming up is that Amendment 4 in Florida.
Oh, they for the abortion?
Abortion law.
I wonder how that one's doing.
It's on track to lose right now with just under half the vote.
Was a yes vote to say yay abortion, or was it a no vote?
I think no is what you want.
Okay.
Because I know Seth Dylan gave a talk about it at some point of why it's important to go vote.
Yeah, you're supposed to vote no on Amendment Four.
Okay.
But right now, yes, has a commanding lead.
But then this Life News says that it's on track to lose.
So they need 60% to win.
I see.
So they need a 60% majority because it's a constitutional, because it's a constitutional amendment to put abortion in the Constitution.
That's good.
That's good.
So it's on track to fail with just under half the vote counted.
I assume that's based also on the precincts that are left to be counted.
We should do that more, make more things a super majority.
Yeah.
Because we make too many big decisions as a country and states where it's just like, okay, if we get 50% plus one vote, now we change the entire way of doing everything.
And it's like, maybe we need more stability than that.
Yeah.
So John Wunderlich in the YouTube chat says, I think it was Nixon for Republicans who win the popular vote.
Oh, man, Nixon.
I think W did, at least for a second term.
I don't remember.
Did he win the popular vote then?
This would be an easy Google search.
But we need to double check.
Win Comalexa.
Reagan, in 84, Reagan won 49 states.
Oh, yeah, Reagan was after Nixon.
And in 72, Nixon won like 40-something states.
The last Republican to have won a U.S. presidential election, as well as the popular vote, was George W. Bush in 2004.
Oh, wow.
Travis is right.
I did it.
So it's been 20 years.
Yeah.
Does that mean I get paid now?
Because I was right.
We're going to have to ask Dan.
Not me, Dan Dylan.
Yeah.
Yeah, you would just say yes.
Here's a tweet from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the world's smartest socialist.
We already did this.
Did we?
Yeah.
We can do it again.
When did we do this?
Hours ago.
Oh, maybe I wasn't in here.
It's 70 degrees in New York in the first week of November.
Please vote.
And I replied to this with this meme.
The TV told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government, the weather will be good with old Ralphie.
Maybe we should put that on screen.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I love how her brain works.
Everything is like, if it weren't for something, I would have died on January 6th.
She just has this catastrophic way of thinking about everything.
I think she has a victim mentality, which a lot of people.
I thought you were going to say a learning disability.
But also, yes, a victim mentality.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think she has that, but a lot of people from her generation do.
It kind of became common.
I don't know why it became common, but it did.
There's a thing, too, with Democrats where you see just a lack of that second-order thinking of, okay, well, let me dig a little bit deeper into this issue.
Yeah.
I don't need to wear these, do I?
Well, we weren't going to say anything, but you guys let me, my ears hurt.
But there's this, I read Thomas Soule's, not the basic economics, the one for dummies, whatever the intro to economics one is.
I read that last year.
And the way that he addresses that of like, yes, you can look at it and go, well, if we gave everybody a higher wage, then everybody would make more money.
And that's just that first level of thinking that you go to.
Like, oh, yeah, well, that makes sense.
Yeah.
And it feels like a lot of Democrats and Republicans do this too.
I mean, it depends on the issue.
Obviously, I'm not saying Democrats are dumb and Republicans are smart.
Well, but I'm not saying.
But there's a lot of things where that is as far as they think.
And you say, okay, well, let's go beyond that.
Like, why don't we make the minimum wage $1,000 an hour?
You know, if giving people more money is going to make people earn more money, then let's just do that.
You know, and they, of course, it breaks down at that point.
And the same thing when you look at climate change, where they're like, you know, you look at an AOC tweet like this, it's 70 degrees.
You know, that's the whole argument.
Come on, people.
It's 70 degrees.
70 degrees.
I rest my case.
You know, and it's just like, okay, well, let's dig a little bit deeper into that.
But they're never interested in going that one step further into the logic of what we're discussing.
I think you're wrong, and I'll tell you why.
It's 70 degrees.
I like how that's the nightmare scenario.
It's 70 degrees right now.
Yeah, that's the dystopia.
Yeah, it's comfortable outside.
Sven Svenson in our comments points out that Florida is 75% counted.
Trump's up almost 10 points, and they still don't paint the state red on the map.
They're not calling it for Trump yet.
G-Spec5 says, is CNN Van Jones going to cry tonight?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Van Jones is weird.
I don't know any of the personalities, man.
I know Van Jones because when Trump won, he said, this is a white lash, and he had to apologize.
Yeah.
Because it was a racist statement, believe it or not.
We have a comment here from Zadeo, the B's position on the peanut murder.
Get the government out of our houses, man.
They're climbing in our windows.
They're snatching our squirrels up.
Hide your kids, hide your wife.
They're stealing everybody out here.
They're eating our squirrels.
They're eating our squirrels up.
And I mean, I'm joking, but it's true.
This is government overreach.
And it even came out, I don't know if you heard this, even came out that the guy that had squirrel, the squirrels, like a gay, did you guys hear this?
He's like a gay OnlyFans guy or something.
And so this was the left was trying to use this as like a ha, Republicans are defending this gay man that does porn or whatever online.
And the Republicans are all, okay, that's the government should still just go into his house and kill his pet.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And you guys have to factor it.
Well, because they think we think like them.
Yeah, but it's like, oh, hey, that's a Trump support.
Exactly.
I can't support them.
They project that on us for sure.
Yeah.
I love this graphic of the Vermont vote.
It's zero votes in, zero percent of votes counted called for Kamala Harris.
Three electoral votes for her.
That's pretty recent, too.
Call it 4 p.m.
Called it 4 p.m.
So is that just based on, I guess, I don't know.
Well, it's going to go blue.
It's Vermont.
That's probably why.
But it's still funny to have that on there.
Yeah.
And they won't call Florida for Trump.
So here's a Babylon B headline: Dad voting for Kamala in hopes that one day his granddaughter can be aborted.
Yep.
Dan was talking about earlier.
And here's, I guess, an actual news item: new.
Male Kamala Harris voter starts to cry on CNN, says he's voting for Harris so his daughters can have abortions.
JD Vance wasn't kidding when he said low T men leaned left.
Low T men.
Go to the testosterone thing.
It even looks like Trump has flipped Miami-Dade County.
Whoa.
And it says the last time that happened was in 1988.
But that's the setting of Robin Williams' The Birdcage.
That's a great point, Travis.
What's Nathan Lane going to think?
Dude, with 80% of votes counted, Trump has 500,000 votes in Miami-Dade, and Kamala has 400,000.
Wow.
That feels good.
But they're not going to call it.
They're not still not calling Florida as of now.
They won't until it's like 99%.
Virginia A says, when's the next Travis interviews the world?
They're great.
Like Tony the Tiger.
We're actually shooting it tomorrow.
Yeah.
Although, is that the next one we're going to release?
Maybe not.
I have no idea.
I guess after the next one.
I think after tomorrow's shoot, we'll have four total Travis interviews of the world, two of which have been released, and two of which will be coming out soon.
And one is in a safe deposit box printing like that.
It'll be a posthumous crack rock McCabe says Florida isn't being called because panhandle precincts don't close yet.
Oh, interesting.
Which makes sense.
I think that's fair.
It's open.
It's always a little frustrating when they call it and you're like, I haven't even gotten to the polls yet.
So they can't call it until like 13 minutes from now.
And Charlotte Frederick pointed out the same thing.
Bradford Brucker says, you know, on Joe Rogan, Elon Musk should have given Babylon B credit as the reason why he bought Twitter.
Full credit.
Full credit to us.
We'll give full credit to Elon Musk for buying Twitter, but we may have played a small part, which is humbling and a real honor to have been a part of that whole thing.
But Nano Nero says, Babylon B, why are you so evil?
Frown face.
Oh, no.
Sad.
Why are we so evil?
I don't know.
The answer is because there is none righteous.
No, not one.
I sent you that map of the Florida counties.
If you want to pull that up in there.
All right, this is current ballots counted in the different Florida counties.
And you can see down there, Miami-Dade at the very tip, $500,000 for Trump, $400,000 for Harris.
80% counted.
Wow.
That feels big.
That's a big deal.
Still, you got Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale there.
Can't overcome the Democrat vote there, I guess.
I didn't realize those areas were so liberal.
So that's where Trump lives.
I guess up in the top left, that's the panhandle where they're still open.
Yeah, so they still got Tallahassee, I guess.
Okay.
But I think a lot of that is very conservative.
It's just probably not as concentrated as Tallahassee.
It's just going to happen.
Ohio leaning Trump, of course.
Is that, of course?
Because I thought they were kind of the purple battleground.
Yeah.
Are they not that anymore?
I think most of the projections are Trump pretty solid in Ohio.
I think Joel and his entire family single-handedly turned this.
Our managing editor, Joel, and all his.
I think you're right.
Okay.
Well, here's another thing, another update here.
Judge tells Polling Place to quit testing its fire alarms.
What?
It's important to regularly test one's fire alarms, just not the polling place on Election Day.
In Pennsylvania's Allegheny County, Moon Area High School, which hosts a polling place, conducted intermittent fire alarm testing on Election Day.
So a county judge ordered the school to knock it off.
Huh.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Like, why would you do that?
I don't know.
That's kind of like in the last election, they had the Arizona, like in Maricopa County, where there was all these Trump voters that wanted to vote.
And like, oh, for some reason, all the voting machines in this one county, they just don't work.
Sorry.
And you're like, wait.
Oh, and that's happening in Pennsylvania right now.
Yeah.
But I don't know if it's affecting Trump voters or yeah.
So I guess if Trump does flip Miami Dade, it'll be the last time it has happened.
The first time it has happened since 1988.
Reagan?
No.
1988 would have been Bush 1, right?
Bush Sr.
Oh, yeah, right.
H.W. Not Bush Jr.
H.W., the man who killed Kennedy.
Oh, really?
No.
I mean, it's a rumor.
Some people have suggested it because he worked for the CIA at the time.
Decision Desk HQ.
I don't know what that's affiliated with.
With a decision desk.
They're right now giving Trump a 61% chance of winning the presidency.
Whoa.
That's a D.
I do like that map that you're looking at right now.
Maybe we can put that up on the screen.
We'll have yo, yo, yo, Jamie, throw this one up.
We're going to get this.
Is that the right person to send it to?
I think so.
No, no, okay.
I don't.
We should have nailed this.
We've never done this before.
We should have nailed this.
We're going to get better.
I like the live stream.
I think I would do this regularly.
Every day?
Every day.
I would do nothing but just be live streamed.
Yeah.
Fast stream.
It's just nice and casual.
You know.
I do like that.
So here is the true election in our hearts.
Here's the true election results in our hearts.
Bucky the beaver wins.
Bucky the beaver.
This is from Lincoln Hauser on Twitter.
Funny.
Thanks, Lincoln.
I hate seeing things like that because then I'm thinking, like, why am I not that funny?
That's a funny idea.
Democrats.
I like how it's like 0% of the vote has been counted, 0% in, but Bucky's has 538 electoral votes.
Oh, no.
So there's 270 to win.
Bucky wins at all.
Yeah.
What are you seeing out there, YouTube Land?
What are the comments here?
Chris Hall says you audio is very quiet.
Okay, we'll talk a little bit louder.
Very quiet.
Is it all of us or just a few of us?
Is it just Dan?
Is it just me?
Just tell me.
We might be talking.
Blink twice if it's Dan.
We're also just kind of quiet, introverted satire writers.
That's the problem.
That's the problem.
That's true.
When we were hiring satire writers, we didn't hire anybody that's like, hey, look at me.
Here's the election results.
Yeah.
Just Jared.
Yeah.
He's the only one who's like, legitimately.
I can't think of anybody else.
I think Jared is the only person here who talks.
And also who legitimately enjoys being on camera.
Like, that's what he likes to do.
He's an actor.
He's like, oh, yeah, I'll be on the camera.
Get me in there.
I'm an actor.
Yeah, he says that all the time.
He does.
Yeah.
Someone said it too.
Someone said all of us, and then someone says it's very quiet loud.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe they just need to turn up their volume.
No, they say it's regular.
All right.
Sorry if it was a little quiet.
All right, cool.
We'll talk normal.
When does Babylon be times Fortnite?
What is that?
Like, do we have to play Fortnite?
Maybe X or cross Fortnite?
It's a mashup.
What are we doing Fortnite?
Kamala Harris did that.
Oh, yeah, the Freedom Town, I think.
She founded Freedom Town in Fortnite.
Interesting idea.
But then she banned all the guys.
Guns are banned.
Chad is banned.
It was actually the Democrats built utopia.
No guns.
No building allowed.
I get why they did it.
You need a building permit to build something.
I 100% get why they did it, but then maybe it's like, maybe you don't build a Fortnite map then.
Yeah.
Here's a comment that we really needed an answer to.
This is from Joe Jetpack.
Will Travis do the Trump dance if Trump wins the election?
If he wins today before we end the stream, I will 100% do the Trump dance.
We're definitely ending the stream before he wins.
Hey, miracles can happen.
You know, actually, okay.
So if we win, if Trump wins, maybe tomorrow we will live stream Travis for 20 minutes.
20 minutes doing the Trump dance.
Swinging his arms.
Didn't he do it for like 45 minutes or something?
Oh, I don't know.
That was the headlines, but I'm not sure.
They had like a medical emergency.
They had a medical emergency.
They were like killing time.
And he was dancing.
And he was just standing up there dancing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the Democratic media reporting was like, Trump is insane or Trump is, you know, Trump dances on Grave as a supporter.
Oh, man.
Lizard Man says election should be decided by Mario Kart match.
You know, I used to think that with like Smash Brothers or something.
Who do you think would win?
Okay, let's say, let's say Trump and Kamala, you gave them both a week to train.
A week, yeah.
Like their aides, they can bring in kids to show them out of a Mario Kart.
Here's how you know, you hold the controller this way, not this way.
This is A, B. You know, you show a week.
You have a week to learn it all, and then Trump is like doing this.
And they're like, no, no, no, just hold it.
You just press the buttons.
Yeah.
Well, you can steer like that.
It's true.
You can, but you don't want to.
That joke would have worked better before the Wii came out.
Yeah, the week to ruin jokes forever.
But the question is, do they compete in the Mario Kart where you collect the coins to go faster, or the Mario Kart where you don't have to worry about collecting it?
That's a throwback to two hours ago.
To when we started the podcast three hours ago.
I don't know if that matters because it's well, actually, it does because Trump's got to get those coins.
I guess it's just more who would be more adaptable to learn those things.
Well, I have an answer for you.
Okay.
Because Kamala is younger, so she's going to have an edge with reflexes, but I think she's so far behind in terms of any technology.
I think Trump will have an easier time adapting to it and he'll be able to get in with that.
I feel like Kamala is not a very smart person.
That too.
And I think that intelligence informs a lot of things about the things that you do, but it also informs how easily you can pick something up.
And I think if you're trying to teach her something like that, that might be difficult.
So I think Trump might have a higher intelligence.
I'm not one of those guys that's like Trump is 4D chess genius, but he might be a slightly more intelligent.
And I think maybe if you gave him enough time, he could.
It's like Batman Superman.
With unlimited prep time, Trump could beat Superman.
Yeah, but I still disagree with that setup where Batman could be.
You don't think Batman could be Trump without?
With unlimited time?
No.
Unlimited time.
I'll tell you why.
He will die of old age.
Batman will die of old age.
But he forces him to use unlimited.
You don't force him to use unlimited time.
But that's how much time he actually needs.
Okay, so he needs an infinite time.
I'm saying, like, if you know, he prepares with kryptonite and stuff, right?
Superman just goes into orbit and blasts him with Heatrate.
I like Lizard Man.
He said Kamala would immediately drop all her bananas instead of holding them behind her cart for protection.
Who do you think they would play as in a Smash Brothers?
Like, what fighter would they choose?
I'm picturing Trump on the Smash Brothers screen.
He'd be Mr. Watchman.
Mr. Game Watch.
This is a classic.
I remember playing Game of Watch when I was a kid.
I feel like he'd go straight for Kirby, maybe.
Like just bright colors, shiny, you know, like, yeah.
I also feel like he might go for one of the guys that looks like a really strong warrior.
You know, like, oh, that guy looks like Link.
Well, he's kind of, you know, fairy boy.
Roy's our boy, though.
What about Pac-Man?
He'd pick Pac-Man.
He might recognize Pac-Man.
Oh, yeah.
I remember him.
Pac-Man.
Yeah.
They used to call him Pac-Man.
I think he might pick Solid Snake.
You know what?
I can see that.
And then he'll, the whole time he's playing, he'll like be like, this is for our troops out there.
Which is also a very difficult character to play, I feel.
It's very projectile.
He's not the easiest.
He's not very intense.
I don't think he's the hardest, but he's definitely not like, he's not like jumping in with Mario or something.
Yeah.
But I think Kamala Harris would probably get too far in her head.
Like, well, I can't pick this because that might look like I'm saying, oh, men are better than women.
But I can't pick this because she's wine.
I can't possibly choose the wine in front of you.
Right.
Exactly.
She'd overthink it.
So she might choose a Pokemon.
You think she'd go with Pokemon?
Maybe Pikachu?
I feel like Hillary Clinton would pick Pikachu.
You think so?
Why is that?
Because she'd be trying to be relevant.
She'd be like, let's Pokemon go to the polls.
Yeah.
Zadeo says Kamala would pick Animal Crossing dude.
I disagree.
Strong disagree.
Yeah, I agree that she would probably gravitate towards like Peach and Daisy, but then be like, oh, I can't pick a girl.
I can't pick up one that looks super feminine because that would be.
Although I like to imagine her going, because you know how you can change the colors and that she might go through it really quick, like, can I make them black?
No?
Okay, I move on.
None of them are black.
None of them the skins.
Splatoon.
She might do the splatoon character.
I think you can make them black.
Steve is kind of black.
Oh, Minecraft Steve.
He's got a dark.
I kind of forget about the DLC characters.
He's got a lot of melanin.
She might go zero suit Samus, honestly.
Like, strong bus, babe.
Actually, you got it.
I think you just did it.
We should throw this up on the screen so people can.
Well, let's do that.
Let's do the.
Yeah, so we've got Fox News exit poll.
Kamala woefully underperforming among black voters in Georgia.
So President Trump is at 25% among black men, 14 points higher than 2020.
And Kamala is running six points behind Biden 2020 among black women.
Okay, Trump's.
So that seems pretty bad.
That seems like that's a big swing of votes there.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is that is big.
A lot of it's going to come down to turnout and how much they're able to kind of pump that early vote and that mail-in vote.
We'll see.
Not really putting money on anything.
I think you mentioned this one already, right?
The decision desk HQ, they raised Trump's chances of winning to 65%.
He was at 59% at the start of the night.
Yeah.
I don't really know their affiliation or how they make those decisions, but yeah, that's pretty big.
They've also, by the way, called a bunch of new states.
Oh, let's find out.
Branding news.
Tennessee has been called.
Mississippi has been called.
Alabama has been called.
Oklahoma has been called.
So it's 56 Trump, 13 Harris.
Oh, they just called a bunch more states now for Harris.
Which ones?
Massachusetts, Kentucky, or Kentucky.
Connecticut.
Connecticut.
Rhode Island, Maryland have all been called for Kamala.
No big support.
Florida just got called.
Florida's poor.
For Kamala Harris.
No, just kidding.
Lies.
Misinformation.
It's Jeb.
Jeb.
Jeb.
It's happening.
Trump has won Florida with over a million votes.
Look at that map, though.
They're showing Texas leaning blue.
There's no way.
That's 8% of votes.
There's no way.
All in Austin.
Yeah.
Probably.
You can actually drill down to county when you click on this thing.
They've counted Dallas.
They counted Dallas and that's it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's why.
All right.
Do you think Jeb is happy with his life, like in general?
No, Travis.
I don't think he's happy at all.
After that, just man, he comes up in memes still.
He's just happy with his life.
I think it's just like, oh.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said, please clap.
They've only counted Pittsburgh so far, and Kamala's got a huge lead in Pennsylvania, but they've only counted Pittsburgh.
So that doesn't really say much.
So right now we're looking at Donald Trump, 95 electoral votes.
Kamala Harris, 35 electoral votes.
Nothing, none of the major toss-ups have been decided yet.
So we're still waiting on those.
And you said Kamala has Massachusetts.
Did you say that?
Massachusetts has been called for Kamala.
It's up on the screen now.
That's disappointing because John Adams.
You're really hoping for that, huh?
I was.
Banking on that one.
I put all my money on it.
Put all your money there.
Yeah.
I said $100 on Massachusetts for Trump, please.
Still just waiting to see if Trump can crack the blue wall.
That's the big question.
Can he get Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Wisconsin?
Can he, like the Kool-Aid man, break through the wall?
I can see how that would be very hard for Trump because he spent his whole presidency trying to build walls.
Now you have to break the wall.
Why would I break a wall?
I have to change my.
You can't do it.
Change my entire way of thinking.
So, yeah, no surprises so far.
Everything is going pretty much as expected.
Yep.
Just depends on what happens up there in the Midwest.
I wonder if Nate Silver is still running his simulations.
He's always running his simulations.
There comes a point where the lines blur and he doesn't know.
He probably thinks he's in a simulation now.
10% of Texas has been counted and still heavy for Kamala Harris, according to this.
But of course, it's all Dallas.
But Austin's also liberal.
Yeah, the cities are all going to go two to one for her or whatever.
And then you got to.
It's all about that suburban and rural vote.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
It'll be really interesting to see here.
Hopefully you guys are staying calm at home and hanging out and having a good time.
We pull up a chair.
Joining us.
Have one of those fires that you can light and roar your fireplace.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You know, wherever you are.
Fireplaces are cozy.
They are cozy.
Oh, this is not good.
Diamond there.
Two election workers in Southern Missouri died when their cars were swept away by a fast flooding creek.
They were blamed on flash floods after torrential rains.
Wow.
Around 4:30 a.m. Tuesday?
Okay, so this is this morning.
That's very sad.
Sorry to hear that.
Yeah.
Geez, there's nothing good about that.
That's terrible.
Did you almost say fat flood?
Fat flooding.
Yeah, fat flooding.
That flood needs to lose weight.
So it is.
Let's go back to the comments and see if there's anything interesting there.
Let's see.
It says, be real.
Trump would go with little Mac.
That's from Levi.
That's a good point.
He might be like, I'm going to be an underdog.
I'm going to take him out.
I can do it.
I'm little, but I'm strong.
And then just the cultural thing of like a boxer.
I can feel like his generation, like boxing was more of a sport.
He's still, he's trying really hard to get Pennsylvania's approval.
And Pennsylvania is known for Rocky Balboa.
Yeah.
And nothing else.
Right.
That's a good point.
Good pick.
Well, things are coming in pretty quickly here.
I guess I forgot on the West Coast, we see results pretty early for a lot of this stuff because the other half of the country.
When does Poland close out here?
Like seven?
Seven or eight, yeah.
Okay.
Not that we don't know.
Oh, wait, I haven't voted.
I have, I haven't.
Travis, do your duty.
And we lost California by one vote.
It was Travis.
Joel Jetpack asks, have you guys tried the chicken Big Mac?
I have not.
Chicken Big Mac.
I know there's chicken sandwiches.
What's the Chicken Big Mac?
It's just a Big Mac with chicken.
I've never instead of Mac.
Do you have to order two different things and combine them?
No, you just have a special limited time.
I'd like a Chicken Big Mac, please.
I have not tried it.
And I'll be honest, it's because I like the normal Big Mac.
I don't want to try chicken Big Mac.
You fear change.
I do fear change.
You know, if Trump wins, I'll go out on a limb and say this.
If Trump wins, I will go to McDonald's and eat a quarter pounder to celebrate.
Okay.
Are we going to commit to, will you, if Trump wins, will you commit to eating a chicken Big Mac?
No, I will not.
I'd have to see a picture of it first.
And, you know, I just don't know what it is.
Is it like breaded chicken?
I think so.
Is it like the crispy chicken sandwich chicken, or is it more like the deluxe chicken sandwich?
Well, they have McChicken sandwiches there.
I don't know for sure.
I'm pretty sure it's just the McChicken sandwich pat.
Yeah, because if it's just the basic one, nah.
Oh, man, I love McChicken sandwiches.
Really?
Yeah, they're great.
By the way, the Republicans have flipped a Senate seat.
Really?
That's a big news.
West Virginia.
West Virginia.
Yeah, wasn't that that guy?
He was like the guy that they were protesting his yacht, the climate change thing.
I don't know.
It's not Rando Bell.
Joe Manchin, right?
I already voted Lord Mark Rogers.
It was a joke.
I was joking.
So I don't know if Joe Manchin just isn't running.
No, Justice flipped Joe Manchin's seat.
So he was the guy that voted with the Republicans, you know, a lot of the time.
Oh, no, I like that guy.
Yeah.
But they took a seat away.
They took a seat away and now a Republican has it.
I guess the Democrats are like, well, either way, we're getting our Republican.
If everything else stays the same, that makes the Republicans elite in the Senate.
Because it's like 50-50 right now.
Aw, snap.
That's a web browser error.
All right.
Texas has gone red on the map.
Hasn't been called, but they flipped it.
Okay.
So we're now getting the more drilled down results.
So all these other counties that are not Dallas, not big cities, are starting to come back red, obviously.
I like this comment here from Trevor A.
He says, would it make more sense for the Kool-Aid guy to be blue instead of red?
Because he's always knocking down walls.
I guess if he was politically affiliated, but he's just the Kool-Aid man.
YouTube says, welcome to live chat.
Remember to guard your privacy and abide by our community guidelines.
Wow, great comment, YouTube.
Great comment, YouTube.
Thanks for joining us.
YouTube has officially endorsed the Babylon B.
Well, thank you.
Thanks, wow.
Big fan.
Wow.
I look forward to getting a million subscriber award.
I wonder if Mr. Bob YouTube runs that account himself or if he has people.
He probably has people.
He's probably too big to.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
When you're Bob YouTube, you get people to write those disclaimer messages.
And now we're checking not the B again election 2024 coverage for the constant updates, not noticing anything.
It's just the same updates as before, Travis.
It's just, you know.
Disappointing.
Disappointing.
You know what?
There's not a whole lot of news that happens on election day.
It's really just waiting around.
You're just waiting all day.
Yeah.
Cutting back to the guy on the map, going, look, this state that I said was going to be red, it's red.
Yeah.
That's something I'm going to do later when I'm home.
Is I'm going to turn on CNN and just see the coping.
Or the guy who's all panicked and he's looking at the map.
And here's the pathways for this one to win.
Here's the pathways for this one.
Like, I do enjoy that panic setting.
And that is kind of fun because they're doing, on one hand, they're doing their job.
They're just like, okay, people want to know maybe each of the pathways.
But you can see when they start to get passionate, like, okay, they can do this.
She can do this.
They just got to go over here and they can get this county.
But it won't happen this time.
All right.
Now that we've been doing the show for like three hours and 7,000 minutes.
Has it been that long?
7,000 minutes?
Wow.
Do you guys revise your who's going to win?
Do you think Kamala is going to win still?
I'm still going Kamala.
I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up because I'm going to look at stuff and I'm going to start to get, oh, this is what happens when I watch the Padres.
You're like, oh, they can do it.
Like, I'm like, oh, they're going to lose.
And then I'm like, oh, it's two to one and it's the seventh.
They got a chance.
And then I sit down and then they give up five runs and I'm like, why did I get all at once?
Yeah.
Why did I get emotionally invested in this?
So I'm trying not to get it.
Do you think that Trump could very well have a fifth inning of game five of the Yankees?
The Dodgers of the Yankees.
I mean, anything's possible, right?
Well, Pennsylvania is still blue, but very few votes counted, and all from Pittsburgh and Philadelphia.
Although I was just doing the math, and it says 15% of the votes have been counted in Philadelphia, and she has 99,000 votes.
Which, if you do the math on that, that means that she would be projected to win 660,000 votes in Philadelphia.
And remember, they said she had to get 700,000 votes.
Might not be enough.
So cracking the blue wall could break one way or the other, but yeah.
So all the votes that have been counted so far are in Philadelphia.
But how are they voting on the Mario versus Sonic debate?
That's a question that Travis has to answer for us.
I don't know if we can even go back to Washington, D.C. at this point.
Well, yeah, they closed all the polls there.
No, no.
Everything.
They closed Washington, D.C. Only like liberal areas near Detroit have been counted in Michigan.
And it's heavily, heavily Kamala, obviously.
Oh, Detroit.
Yeah.
Kansas going red, Texas going red.
No surprises there.
Yeah.
I wonder what it's like to live in Detroit.
Well, I mean, you're safe because of RoboCop.
Right.
But besides RoboCop, I mean, what else has gone good for him?
You know, not much.
Besides the mechanized police force, what good things are there about that?
You keep voting the same way, and it's like, what's going to change for you?
I don't know.
Well, and RoboCop is just one man.
He can't solve all the problems.
He can't solve all the problems.
They need to make more RoboCops, but they've had problems with that.
They couldn't make a RoboCop 2.
Yeah.
All the robots killed themselves.
I wonder if there's a Plato's Republic update that we could do where another form of government is just ruled by RoboCop.
That's a good point.
You have aristocracy, you have democracy, and you have RoboCop.
Yeah.
It's hard to argue against RoboCop.
It is hard to argue against RoboCop.
You know, I played that old game RoboCop versus Terminator.
Did you ever play that?
No, but that sounds amazing.
I had it for the Sega Genesis.
Yes, let me take you back in time for a minute here.
Yep.
So there was a time when Aladdin came out for the Sega Genesis.
Aladdin and Aladdin on the Super Nintendo.
I played Aladdin on Super NES.
Yes.
And I really liked Aladdin when I rented it from Super Duper Video.
But I walked into a store, I don't remember what store, and they had game stations or whatever.
And RoboCott versus Terminator for the sake of Genesis was up, and I started playing it, and I fell in love.
And I said, Mom, I don't want Aladdin for Christmas.
I want RoboCott versus Terminator.
And I got it.
Wow.
And a very violent game.
I mean, granted, it was 16 bits.
You know, everything just lands a little bit differently in 2D versus 3D.
But like, you shoot guys with your pistol and they just explode into blood.
It's kind of hilarious.
It's also impossible to beat.
But she watched you playing it and she was like, well, at least they're not doing any drinking.
Probably.
There's no musical instruments in church.
Yeah.
There's no musical instruments in RoboCott versus Terminator.
None of that.
Looks like we have an update here.
Trump is currently leading in Georgia by over 20 points.
It's still very early, but it's starting to look very bad for Kamala.
So he's got 443,943 votes, 61.2% of the vote.
If he got Georgia, that's one of those swing states where it kind of goes back and forth.
So that'd be huge.
It also looks like Amendment 4 has failed in Florida.
It didn't get the same thing.
Is that good or bad?
That's good.
We want it to fail.
Yeah.
Failure is good for that one.
Sometimes I get confused on those.
Lots of shifts.
Lots of interesting electoral shifts.
That's the...
That's the interesting takeaway is the way that a lot of different people have shifted in these different areas.
Miami-Dade.
It does feel like a big political realignment right now.
Which would be very cool.
It would be very cool.
What do you guys think a second Trump presidency would actually look like?
You know what?
You asked me a month ago or two months ago, I would have said it'd probably just be more of the same, which was good, but nothing really changes.
It's just a nice four years.
But now with the Doge Initiative or whatever they're calling it.
The Department of Government on Government Efficiency or something like that.
Yeah.
Did Elon Musk literally name it that just so it'd be Doge.
That's so good.
So with that going on and Ron Paul's involvement, I'm actually like, whoa, this could be something big.
I'm interested.
I'm very interested and I'm hoping for the best.
I want them to actually start cutting a lot.
I want to be a fly on the wall in those meetings where Ron Paul's on the committee.
I'm like, so regarding this bureaucracy over here, he's like, cut it.
Cut it.
Just get rid of it.
Everything.
Yeah.
I was like, well, what's his name down in Argentina that was 200?
Oh, yeah.
Literally like a ripping off of that.
That's exactly what I want, though.
I want that here.
Maybe we don't need to be as intense as Argentina because I don't know what Argentina was like, but We definitely could use some, and I wanted to start balancing the budget.
We need to get a more up-to-date information on Argentina, but it's kind of like when I last checked it, it was like their inflation was way down, their cost of housing was way down, jobs were way up.
It's like they just cut all these government programs.
And it's like, wow, we're living in a utopia all of a sudden.
Some of that you don't give a lot of stock to just because when you there's a rip the bandaid off moment, right?
When you've just invested in big government and that's what your whole economy is built around, you kill the central bank, there's going to be pain for a while as you make that transition.
So it's like, are things going to collapse?
Is there going to be a lot of bad stuff for a while?
Yeah, but you have to do it at some point.
But see, that's why you rip the band-aid off really fast.
Right.
And then it doesn't hurt.
Exactly.
And that's the choice that everybody is faced with, and every country is faced with: do you rip the band-aid off now or do you just keep the cycle going and then it's going to hurt even worse?
Because then it's stuck to your skin.
And you're like, ah, ah, the pain.
I think this is for you, Travis.
We have a comment from Sneed Chuck.
Ever played Contra for the Genesis?
I did.
I forget what it was called.
Contra something core hardcore, I think.
And it had a character you could select that was basically just a wolf, I think.
He was just an animal and he walked around and he's shooting everybody.
It was a fun game, but Contra very much lost me at that time because when you play the original Contra, yeah, you're fighting aliens and robots, but I think your imagination can let you make things work a little better.
It felt more like, hey, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger going through the jungle, like Commando or Predator.
And it's just gotten weirder and weirder as that series has gone on.
Somebody was, I was on YouTube and some guy who was into retro games, he was talking about the old pixel graphics and how it kind of activates parts of your brain in a way like reading does, where you have to fill in the information.
I think that's, yeah, I think that's absolutely right.
It makes it more of an impression on your brain as you play those old games.
Whereas in the new hyper-realistic 3D graphics, it's just shown to you.
It is what it is.
You don't weave that narrative anymore with your own imagination at all.
Yeah, and I think that's also why sometimes you'll go back to a game like a decade later and go, wow, this is a lot uglier than I thought it was.
Because you just, you remembered it in a different way.
Yeah.
So Levi says, yes, Contra hardcore.
Good.
I was crazy.
Joe Jetpack says, I really enjoyed your movie.
I was telling a friend about the movie and he was like, what happened on January 6th?
That's great.
Fantastic.
That's one of the best parts about that movie is you're going around DC, hey, you know, where were you on January 6th?
And everyone's like, what?
Well, what are you talking about?
Yeah, all the actually real stuff was really good.
I had the RoboCop game for the PC.
How old was this?
I don't know.
Probably mid-90s, I guess.
Okay.
So it was a 2D game?
No, it was 3D.
It was like RoboCop 3.
It might have been called RoboCop 3D or something.
Oh.
But it was really bad.
I wonder if it came out for RoboCop 3, the movie.
Maybe.
I remember it was really bad, though.
There was one part where you actually got to drive around the city, and I was like, oh, this is, but it was, I mean, it was terrible.
Oh, I sent you a deal there, producer.
Man, I literally have no idea who's running the computer.
Yeah, you just keep sending it to somebody and it gets up.
This is from Greg Price.
Donald Trump just shifted Loudoun County, Virginia, college-educated suburb of DC.
Eight points in his favor from where his margin was with Biden in 2020.
That's awesome.
Virginia is actually going to be a close race.
Yeah, I don't know if he'll win Virginia, but he'll coal mine things.
Yeah, yeah, right.
And that's awesome.
Kamala's still heavily winning in Pennsylvania.
But again, we've only got the cities.
Yeah, you count one city and you don't count anything else.
It's going to look like that.
Pittsburgh and Philadelphia.
Yeah.
It would be a bummer if Trump doesn't end up winning Pennsylvania, though, after all the effort he put into it.
And almost getting shot there.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It's got to count for something.
Yeah, it's definitely got to count for something.
Looks like Texas will be solidly red once again.
Georgia looking red right now.
Half the vote counted.
This is the part of the election where which mostly Atlanta's mostly been count.
Yeah.
Which is kind of interesting.
This is the part of the election this time of the day where all the Democrats are sweating.
Yeah.
Because it shows Donald Trump's got, what is it, 96 electoral votes?
What does that map say?
95 to 35.
95 to 35.
And I got to imagine, like, in certain, you know, certain bubble imaginations, it's just like you live in this bubble where everyone just thinks the same as you.
And you go, oh man, I live in a nation with millions of people that don't agree with me.
I think that's got to be that's got to be like a rude awakening.
Like, oh, man, how'd that whole state go vote for the Nazi?
You know, you know, Adolf Hitler's running and they voted for him.
How's that possible?
I don't know if they think like that.
You know, like I don't.
Some people do.
I don't know if they have that self-reflection gene for a lot of people.
No.
You know, to look at it and be like, oh, wow, people disagree with me.
Maybe I should think about that.
So it's a problem with genetics.
Trump, correct.
Trump, 1.4 million votes in Georgia right now.
Camela, 1.1 million.
55 to 45 is the percentage breakdown.
Coming close.
55 to 45.
Maybe Nate Silver was right.
It's going to be 50-50.
He ran the simulation.
Here's one for Texas.
Donald Trump, 53.
Kamala, 45.
Do you think that Nate Silver built the Matrix?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, he got trapped in there.
That's where he is right now.
That's where he's running all the simulations.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, as long as there's no big upsets here, which Trump could still win North Carolina, Virginia would be a long shot.
Right now, North Carolina is leaning Kamala.
Yeah, but only 10% of the vote counted.
Only 10% of the vote in.
Okay.
And Georgia is leaning Republican, half of the vote counted.
So again, it's important to remember that all these states are counting their votes and giving you some kind of result within the day of like an hour of their closing the polls.
And Nevada is telling you it's going to take a week.
Yeah.
For six electoral votes.
Yeah.
It's going to.
What if it comes down to that?
It's going to come out.
Everyone's waiting on Nevada.
That's happened.
I mean, that happens, right?
Like, where you're sitting there hanging Chads in Florida, which with way more electoral votes.
Yeah.
But like the idea, because Nevada probably, because it's only six votes, it just never happens to them.
So they're probably like, yeah, it takes us a week to count them, but no one cares because we don't design anything.
Austin Robertson, Voice of the Babylon B, has joined us in the comments.
Smoking at Dan Coates recommended don't tread on me cigar while I watch B-election coverage.
Miss you guys.
Miss you too.
Yeah.
And Hero of Legend says, Wait, do you all have real jobs outside of the Babylon B?
No.
No, we don't.
This is our real job.
Like, this is your day job?
This is our real job that we actually get paid.
Hero of Legend also says, Travis, what's the best or most bigoted Zelda game that people need to know?
And I think you guys can weigh in too, but the best game is Ocarina of Time.
I thought that that was a combined category.
That what's the most best and bigoted.
Okay, so it's not Ocarina of Time then.
If it's a bet, it's still good to play, but it's bigoted.
Oh, wow.
Look at this real quick.
Ohio, 17 electoral votes are at stake here.
39% of the vote is counted, so it's early.
Donald Trump is only up by 0.1% of the vote.
So that's a very, at least according to this, it's close.
And Chase Oliver's got 8,500 votes.
1,167,226 votes for Trump versus 1,163.
Yeah, I'm reading some commentary on the Ohio thing.
They've actually just pushed it back to Republican on the map here.
Oh, they did.
They're saying that Ohio gets that early vote count in very early.
And then all the election day stuff makes it shift Republican later in the night.
Okay.
Yeah.
So it, you know, based on how the map, it's early, based on how the map is shaping up, it may all come down to Pennsylvania as was expected.
Yeah.
So Pennsylvania's close.
If everything else kind of breaks the way that you expect it to, it looks like late into the night, we're going to just be watching Pennsylvania.
So what's wild about Michigan, for example, is that I have a brother who lives in Michigan.
And when I went to visit him, everywhere you go, it's Trump signs everywhere.
I was in Michigan the last election in 2020, and it was everywhere he went, it seemed like it was Trump country.
And so I get, but I was on the western part of the state, so it must just be that all that population on the eastern part votes Democrat.
I don't know.
I mean, like you said before with Detroit, it's like that place is a disaster right now.
And something's got to change.
Or it's just going to stay the same.
Yeah.
Let us turn the page on Detroit.
I've always said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Oh, yeah, you came up with that.
I made that up.
And that definitely switches to imply.
All right, guys.
Well, we'll probably be ending our stream here in a minute.
Hey, this is fun, though.
Thank you guys for joining us.
I know you guys have the official election people to switch over to that actually know what they're talking about.
But we hope we were able to provide a little bit of levity as you hung out with us for this three hours here.
Remember, take a deep breath.
It's not the end of the world.
Everything's going to be okay no matter what happens.
Yes.
But to answer that question, the best and most bigoted Zelda game is Zelda 2.
Most patriotic.
Why is it most bigoted?
Because of that mentally retarded man who just says, I am error.
No, okay.
Do you remember that?
I know the reference, but I don't think I ever encountered it.
You go into that again.
I didn't get very far.
All he says is I am error.
I didn't get very far in the game.
Because he's special.
Yeah.
And that's bigoted.
Okay.
Well, with that, on that note, I am error.
We are all error.
Maybe error is inside us all along.
But yeah, guys, if Trump wins, we're not saved as a nation.
We need the gospel.
God is the only one that can change our hearts and minds.
If Kamala Harris wins, it's not the end of the world.
We've weathered worse as a nation.
We've weathered worse as a church.
And we'll get through it.
You're really not selling the book, though.
But the only way to survive is if you buy the Babylon B Guide to the Apocalypse.
It's coming out November 12th.
Pick yourself up a copy, and it will tell you how to survive should Kamala Harris win or even if Trump wins and creates a MAGA dystopia and makes us all wear red hats.
Yeah, which will be good for you guys because you're already wearing a red hat.
Well, I'm doing it voluntarily, but I wouldn't want someone to force me to wear a red hat.
Yeah, that's true.
Because sometimes you just don't want to wear a hat.
Sometimes you just don't want to wear a hat.
And listen to the advice of the saints and the sages who recommend contentment.
Don't be all alarmed and discontented over the election.
Jesus said that.
Not worth freaking out about.
Read that Chesterton essay about what's right with the world.