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June 14, 2024 - Babylon Bee
01:05:43
Top 1,000,000 Reasons We Miss Trump

The Babylon Bee thinks of all the great moments that remind us why we miss Trump being President and then talks about Hunter Biden getting convicted on lesser felony charges after the DA's "sweetheart" plea deal blew up. The Pope is in hot water again, but so are the crustaceans at Red Lobster.  Mentioned in podcast is Trump's recounting of famous battles: https://youtu.be/OSoyyErZ3Zo This episode is brought to you by: My Patriot Supply, Get $200 off 3-month food supply kits: http://preparewithbee.com My Pillow: Use promocode 'Bee1" to save BIG: https://www.mypillow.com/  

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We are going to revisit in this episode the greatest moments of the Trump presidency that remind us why we miss that man.
Another day, another breaking news story buried.
They'd rather talk about anything else than what's really going on.
It's not because they don't know what's happening.
The media pundits and talking heads just don't want you paying attention.
The real stories, you have to look behind the headlines for them.
You know, the truth is being covered up.
I learned that from the X-Files.
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The Babylon Bee Podcast.
Welcome everyone to the Babylon Bee podcast.
Kyle, Jarrett, and Travis are here.
I almost called you Brandon.
You don't look anything like that.
And two very different people.
Yeah.
What would be the five points of comparison between Brandon and Travis?
They're both handsome.
I was thinking five differences.
Oh, well.
Five differences.
My eyes are squintier than Brandon's.
This is true.
My skin is yellower than Brandon's.
Yeah.
Knowledge of pride and prejudice adaptations.
Oh, he has more knowledge of that.
Yeah, on that scale, he definitely has your beat there.
Do you have any?
I only know that Kieran Knightley was in a movie adaptation and that I guess Brandon does not like that.
Singing voice.
I have a better singing voice, but I've hidden it for so long.
You've hidden it?
Yeah, okay.
And I will continue to do so.
Taste for cheese?
Well, I don't know what his taste for cheese is.
What is yours?
My favorite cheese is a mozzarella.
Oh.
He probably likes some fancy French cheese.
Free.
And he only eats it like soy veti.
He is a bit of, if you don't know this about Brandon, he's a bit of a food person.
I wanted to say foodie, but I felt like that was the wrong thing to say.
Foodie's probably right.
Fudie.
He's a real Gordon Ramsey.
Foodie doesn't necessarily mean that you like scarfed down food all the time.
Technically, I think foodie just means you take pictures on Instagram and go, look, food.
He doesn't do that.
So I thought foodie meant that you just go to different restaurants.
You like trying food.
Yeah, and you're the kind of person that would, it's almost like an indie rock person where they're like, I discovered this restaurant before any of you.
I'm a foodie.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
It's a hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese place.
Perhaps foodie is just a very ambiguous term that defines many things.
Maybe foodie does have many disease in Africa?
Yeah.
I'm not going to joke about that.
Okay.
Sorry.
But you said yes.
There are foodies in Africa.
I've met some.
In Nairobi.
Sorry, this got really awkward.
I am very sad.
Tell us why.
Why are you laughing?
I'm so sad.
It's not funny.
I was thinking this week about Donald Trump.
And I miss Donald Trump.
I was thinking about how much I missed that man.
Do you think he was a foodie?
He likes McDonald's.
So I'm not sure that really counts.
And well done steak with ketchup, right?
And taco salads.
We've seen him eating a taco salad.
Diet Coke.
He is a connoisseur.
Yeah.
What else is great about Donald Trump?
Well, I wanted to take you, dear Babylon B viewer, on a journey through space and time to a better time.
A time when Trump ruled the land four years ago.
Just a mere four years ago, but it feels like eons.
And we are going to revisit in this episode the greatest moments of the Trump presidency that remind us why we miss that man.
So our first one is when Trump got elected and he wouldn't give a question to Jim Acosta at CNN.
Let's take a watch.
I think my favorite thing about this upcoming clip is that it's his first press conference.
Since you're attacking us, give us a question.
Since you're...
No, Mr. President-Elect.
Go ahead.
President-elect, since you are attacking our news organization, can you give us a chance?
You are attacking our news organization.
Mr. President-elect, go ahead.
You stay categorized.
President-elect, can you give us a question?
Don't be attacking us.
Can you give us a question?
Don't be retagging.
I mean, I've got to give you a question.
Can you state categorically?
You are fake news.
Sir, go ahead.
Can you state categorically that nobody is president-elect, that's not appropriate.
The absolute chaos in that newsroom makes me so happy.
I mean, I know the media was against him from the beginning, but even after he was elected, they didn't go, okay, well, let's start with a clean slate and go from there.
They're just angry at him at the first press conference.
That was absolute chaos, and I love it.
There's nothing we need more in Washington than everything being an absolute madhouse.
And when people are flustered over there, I'm happy.
Well, when somebody like Jim Acosta has to filibuster and just let, you know, he has to just keep asking and not getting an answer.
It's so just the pompous, like, I deserve my answer, and I deserve this answer.
Absolutely.
I'm going to steamroll you until I get an answer until I get a question.
Trump was like, it's like he was like running a kindergarten class.
Now the kids are like, no, teacher, I have something to say.
He's like, no, not you.
That's true.
You in the back row, you're fake news.
Did you know that there was a time when Trump lovingly hugged the American flag at a CPAC convention?
I'm not sure I saw this.
He came in.
They added the music.
This music is nice.
Look at that.
Arms open wide.
Oh, man.
I think he's mouthing.
Yeah, I love the baby.
He kissed it.
The mad lad did it.
I'm sure the Rolling Stones are very angry about that.
Oh, man.
We have to stop it before we get copyright.
It's beautiful.
I've never seen Biden do that.
No, he hugs other flags, probably, though.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
In June.
Like the pride flag.
Oh.
Okay.
I thought you meant like.
Okay.
So this is a fairly recent one, but this is Trump's reenactment of a Civil War battle.
Battle of Gettysburg.
The Battle of Gettysburg.
Isn't he talking about Little Roundtop or something?
He's trying to make a reference to Gettysburg.
Well, let him speak.
The union was saved by the immortal heroes at Gettysburg.
Gettysburg, what an unbelievable battle that was.
The Battle of Gettysburg.
What an unbelievable.
I mean, it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways.
That's the part that gets me.
It represented such a beautiful portion of the success of this country.
Gettysburg.
Wow.
I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to look and to watch.
And the statement of Robert E. Lee, who's no longer in favor.
Did you ever notice that?
It's no longer in favor.
I did notice that.
Never fight uphill, me boys.
Never fight uphill.
They were fighting uphill.
He said, wow, that was a big mistake.
He lost his great general.
And they were fighting.
Never fight uphill, me boys.
It was too late.
I think that's my single favorite thing that Trump has ever said.
No, I think it's an incredible moment that we captured.
I'm glad that he just was.
He just rants.
I can't believe he can rant like that.
I think a lot of people don't know the never fight a pill me boy.
And I hope we can popularize that.
I hope they start teaching that in school.
Because we say it at the office all the time.
We actually have the quote written on our wall.
I'm not joking.
We do.
Stop laughing.
And never fight up Hillme Boy.
And I've heard people say on this that he didn't actually say, never fight a Pillme Boy.
Well, he was saying me like some other.
But you just watched that clip.
He very clearly says twice.
Twice, never fight a Pill Me Boys.
Yeah.
And you know, we were able to uncover other statements that Trump made about other famous battles.
So you should check it out on our YouTube page.
You should watch that video.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Link in the comments below.
Click plot.
Click applause on this one.
And then come back.
Yeah.
Not applause.
There we go.
Thank you, President Trump, for helping us remember and learn from these real historical battles.
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That's B-E-E1.
So this is one of my favorites and might be forgotten to the sands of time.
But Trump was on the phone with kids on Christmas Eve and he asked one of the seven-year-olds if they actually believe in Santa.
So let's take a watch.
Well, Merry Christmas.
How are you?
How are you doing?
How old are you, Callie?
Thank you so much.
Seven, wow, that's pretty good, right?
Is everything good?
You're doing well in school?
Hello, good evening.
Well, that's very good.
Well, you just have a good time.
Are you still a believer in Santa?
Because at seven, it's marginal, right?
Well, Merry Christmas.
Yes, it's marginal.
That's what I was thinking.
And that kid no longer believes in Santa.
Just a big, lovable teddy bear that, like, well-intentioned and sometimes just keeps talking a little bit too long or doesn't like quite think through.
I think that's Trump in a nutshell.
Yeah.
That's a big teddy bear.
He really went, his polling numbers just went skyrocketing after he got banned from Twitter and people didn't see him just spitting everything out of his mouth.
It's fantastic.
But guess what?
Did you know that one time he met with Kim Jong-un?
Let's remember that.
Let's think about it.
Oh, yeah.
Thought bubble.
Very nice.
Getting a good picture, everybody.
Nice and handsome, the tin, and perfect.
Oh, man.
Thank you very much.
This needs to curb your enthusiasm.
Everyone getting a thin picture.
I felt like the camera person was in on the joke there and just slowly zoomed in on Kim Jong-un, which is perfect.
It's so good.
I wonder if Trump ever gets nervous.
I always watch those.
And if I was standing across from Kim Jong-un in a sunroom like that, I wonder if I would be nervous.
You know what I mean?
I feel like if he gets nervous, then that's why he's just ranting.
He's like just talking about, he just talks when he's talking about.
Like, that's a nervous tick.
Yeah, like his nervous tick, like, you're getting good pictures because that's what I would do.
Thin, you know, like, I would say something like that.
Are you nervous right now?
No.
Oh.
Yeah, I get that.
Maybe a little.
Like, it's trying to crack a joke to kind of lighten the mood, and you're just like, yeah, you know.
Yeah.
And like, if it doesn't land, you just keep going.
Handsome.
Thin.
Thin.
Meet you, right?
Perfect.
Okay.
Well, this one is.
I don't know if you guys remember this one, but it's pretty amazing.
He, this is his clip when he was serving McDonald's, which I don't know if any other, he got a ton of McDonald's and he brought it into the White House.
So much McDonald's.
So I had a choice.
Do we have no food for you?
Because we have a shutdown.
Or do we give you some little quick salads that the first lady will make along with the second lady?
They'll make some salads.
And I said, you guys aren't into salads.
Or do I go out, Lindsey Graham and Tim Scott?
Do I go out and send out for about 1,000 hamburgers?
Big Macs.
So we actually bought 1,000 Burger King, All-America companies.
Burger King, Wendy's, and McDonald's.
We have Big Macs, we have quarter pounders with cheese, we have everything that I like that you like.
And I know no matter what we did, there's nothing you can have that's better than that, right?
So we ordered.
We literally have, and I don't know, have they started?
I'll have another one.
I wanted to see.
So it was piled up a mile high.
I just wanted to see what was left.
I saw it at the beginning.
How much is left back there?
How much?
This guy, he's got four.
So, dang.
I think this was during a government shutdown.
So they didn't have the catering staff available.
And that was the college football champions from Clemson or something.
And he was like, well, with the government shutdown, McDonald's.
Hero.
And it's just a true hero.
And it probably got those McDonald's from that McDonald's that's right up the street from the White House.
Or all those.
Yeah.
I just wondered about that.
We passed by the one that made those.
I wonder who the person was that took the call from Trump.
Oh, man.
Can you imagine?
I wonder if Trump made the call himself.
You think that Trump just went through the drive-through?
Or just went to the show?
I'd like a thousand cheeseburgers.
We need 1,000 cheeseburgers.
Big Macs.
Yeah, it's funny because everyone likes to make fun of that.
Like, why would he give him this stuff?
But you're right.
It was a government shutdown and he got them something.
I like that they're all sitting around in the idea room and he's like McDonald's.
And everyone was afraid to say no.
Or everyone was like, you know, that's genius.
Everyone would eat there anyway.
Here's one where Trump does a little fist pump dance.
And apparently this was after the village people asked him to not play YMCA at his rallies or whatever anymore.
He does this dance all the time, and he can't stop doing it.
So I don't understand how anybody hates Trump.
Teddy Bear.
Like, this is just fun and funny.
And I don't understand how people get so mad at him.
I mean, I get it because they're crazy progressives and they just politics is everything to them.
So it's just a funny dance, too.
Like, I don't know why he keeps doing it because it's not a good dance, but I think that's what's endearing about it.
He just kind of pumps his fists a couple times.
It's like a beavers about that dance.
You know, did you guys watch the Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee episode with Obama?
I don't think I saw that one.
Where Seinfeld interviews Obama?
Yeah.
It's like, I despise all of Obama's politics.
But I watched the episode and I'm like, yeah, I'd have a beer with that guy.
Yeah.
I'd play basketball with him.
You know, I'd dunk on him in basketball.
I'd play Dungeons and Dragons with him.
Yeah.
Would he play Dungeons and Dragons?
You know?
I would draw pictures with him.
I'd play Sonic the Hedgehog 2 with him.
Split screen.
You know, maybe have a swim party.
So I don't understand the like, like, I get that liberals don't like his politics, but you watch a guy like that and you're like, it's probably a funny guy to have a conversation with.
Doesn't it kind of come down to some of the crass stuff that he said, though?
Like, just openly, he said some.
Maybe, I guess.
I feel like that's the reason why conservatives don't like him.
Did he ever?
Never mind.
Obama's done things in the imagination.
That's right.
But only in the imagination.
But only in the imagination.
He's committed sins in his heart.
I mean, I don't like obviously support everything Trump has ever done or support every political stance that he takes.
And I'm not saying he's the greatest president of all time, but I just don't get the absolute vitriol from it.
Yeah, the hatred.
So Kyle just said he is the greatest president of all time.
Roll the clip of him saying that.
He's the greatest president of all time.
He's the greatest president of all time.
And he's the greatest president of all time.
The greatest president of all time.
All right.
Well, what else have we got here?
Well, did you know that he once offered to buy Greenland and he called it a large real estate deal?
Very simple, you know?
It got released somehow.
It's just something we talked about.
Denmark essentially owns it.
We're very good allies with Denmark.
We protect Denmark like we protect large portions of the world.
So the concept came up, and I said certainly I'd be strategically it's interesting and we'd be interested, but we'll talk to them a little bit.
It's not number one on the burner, I can tell you that.
Essentially, it's a large real estate deal.
A lot of things can be done.
It's hurting Denmark very badly because they're losing almost $700 million a year carrying.
So they carry it at a great loss.
And strategically for the United States, it would be nice.
And we're a big ally of Denmark and we help Denmark and we protect Denmark.
Did he say that already?
In fact, I'm supposed to stop.
I'm thinking about going there.
I'm not necessarily definitely going there, but I may be going.
We're going to Poland and then we may be going to Denmark.
Not for this reason at all.
Oh, my gosh.
But Williams.
He just thinks out loud.
Keeps talking.
He just thinks out loud.
Yeah, he's an external processor.
My thought is about this.
Is that real?
Like, did they really talk about buying green?
And were the people in Denmark really entertaining this idea?
Or was Trump just really just?
Well, I mean, anything.
You can buy anything with Kyle.
I think technically he probably talked about it within his office as like, you know, they're going bankrupt.
You know, maybe we can.
He's suggesting that he was having a conversation with the leaders of Death.
He does suggest it, but I guess Denmark.
Because then it came up.
Yeah, the Denmark leaders tweeted out that we are not for sale.
No, we're not doing this for a while.
Does Denmark own Greenland?
They are responsible for the territory.
I don't know exactly what that means.
Yeah, there's all kinds of weird.
It's like when you have a lien on a property or something like that.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
It would be a large real estate deal.
It would be technically he is correct.
It would be amazing if we owned Greenland as well as the United States Territory.
We did buy Alaska, and that was a big real estate deal.
That's right.
We bought the Louisiana Territory.
That was a large real estate deal.
Sewards Folly.
Yeah.
Hawaii.
Sewards Folly.
We conquered California.
That was a large real estate deal.
Yeah, Texas.
We got that from Mexico at some point.
That's a large real estate deal.
They just gave it to us, right?
That one was through a war.
Oh, I want an HGTV show now where a real estate guy is like taking you through different places and showing you.
Different countries.
Now, the list price on this is a little above your budget.
They always introduce themselves as like, yeah, I work from home.
I'm just.
I'm a video game streamer.
That's right.
My budget, $700 billion.
Yeah.
Well, Greenland.
All right.
Here's one where Trump tries to fix a Marines' cap.
Did you see this at Joint Base Andrews over the weekend?
Turbulence blowing the drust blue cap off one of the Marines' heads.
Well, the president walked over to pick it up, put it back on, and it locked on.
But Ellie, you know, a lot of folks think that's very classy that the commander-in-chief would stop and try to help the gentleman in service to our country.
He's like, you do.
Good effort.
You know, I agree that that is classy.
That's actually pretty cool.
Yeah.
Honestly.
I mean, imagine being that Marine.
I think that'd be pretty amazing.
Trump puts on your hat for you.
And he's like, I don't know what his orders are or whatever.
It's like you do nothing.
Yeah, you do not move.
And Trump's like fixing his tie and stuff.
And he's just like, yeah, it's like the palace guards.
You're not allowed to do anything.
Yeah, that's record scratch freeze frame.
You're probably wondering how I ended up in this series.
That's right.
That's me.
That's me.
Big teddy bear with a big heart.
When Trump got coronavirus and he left the hospital to wave at supporters from an SUV, and then the media wondered how many people that he would kill from waving.
There's pictures of this.
I don't know what the videos are like, but he got coronavirus.
And then obviously at the time, everybody was all freaked out about the support.
Oh, yeah.
You guys remember that?
The pandemic thing that happened?
And he was driving by and he's like, no, I need to get in the SUV and wave at the supporters.
That's right.
And the virus got out of the car and got into the crowd.
And everybody.
And everybody died afterwards.
A million people died that day.
Yeah.
Well, let's say a quick moment of silence.
Say a quick moment of silence.
Silence.
For the people that moment of silence.
I said it.
Okay, good.
You kept talking, so we had to.
Oh, no, you said to say a moment of silence.
You are correct.
I did say that.
I actually was more correct than you in that instance.
Wow.
Travis.
It's not a contest.
Travis, you get to introduce this next one.
This is maybe one of my favorites.
You know, there was that time when Trump put candy on the head of a kid dressed up as a minion for Halloween.
Even though the kid was holding a bag, he put the candy on his head.
Let's take a watch.
You guys have to watch.
If you're on the audio, switch to video and watch this clip, please.
This is something the White House does every year.
They kind of hang out.
Yeah.
Look at that.
It's the best costume ever.
See you later.
He just puts around.
They drop it.
And the kid just walks away.
There's like King-size candy bars on the ground.
Yeah, he's like, How do I pick this?
I can't pick this up.
I'm in a minion costume.
I just, I don't even get you jerk.
It's like he couldn't figure out where the hands were.
He's like, I don't know.
I don't know what this yellow thing is.
I'm just going to put it on top.
He's probably never seen Despicable Media.
That's there.
He's like, What is this?
What is this thing?
You cannot hate this man.
It's impossible.
But Melania did it too.
That's the funny part.
I don't know.
I don't know this one.
Let's watch this.
Okay.
I'm not familiar with this.
Oh, this is the Rosie O'Donnell.
Something about Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah, let's take a watch.
I remember this one.
It's great.
One of the things people love about you is you speak your mind and you don't use a politician's filter.
However, that is not without its downsides, in particular when it comes to women.
You've called women you don't like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals.
Your Twitter account?
Only Rosie O'Donnell.
And then the crowd goes wild.
They're just like, yes.
Megan Kelly's like, no, it wasn't.
That is the best possible response to that question.
Just destroyed.
You can't recover from that.
Like, she's making it the most serious thing ever.
He's like, only Rosie O'Donnell, am I right?
I mean, everyone's thinking the same thing.
I'm just saying it.
Oh, gosh, the power of humor.
Oh, it's so good.
He does a good job at redirecting.
Yeah.
He's really good.
Things bounce off of him all the time because of it.
I like when he's processing that this is going to be an insulting question to him.
And he goes, You can see him straighten up and like he's holding the mic.
He does that face.
He does this face.
It's kind of squinty.
You know, he's going to say something.
Oh, yeah.
So here's another one where he said, You wouldn't be my first choice either.
To the lawyer taking his deposition in the E. Gene Carroll case.
Might be my second favorite.
This one's great.
Believe me, she would not be my first choice that I can tell you.
Man.
You don't know.
That would not be my first choice.
When you said in that video that Ms. Leeds would not be your first choice, you were referring to her physical looks, correct?
Just the overall.
I look at her, I see her, I hear what she says.
Whatever.
You wouldn't be a choice in the world.
I'm going to double down on this.
I know.
That's another example.
He uses this humor where people try to get super serious with him and he just turns it back around on him like a lawyer who's deposing him.
Yeah.
About, oh, you use women's looks, you know, when you determine if you're going to hire them or not.
And he insults her by saying, I wouldn't hire you.
I know.
I hire you either.
You know what?
Let's just take a minute though and sit and marinate in how he said China.
Let's say China.
China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China.
I love it when he waits.
You go over to China.
You take China.
China.
China.
I love them.
China.
I have to have my China.
China.
China because China.
China.
China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China now.
China.
China.
This is the best move.
China.
I know China very well.
China, It's China to me.
China.
All of her reactions.
Bye from China.
Yeah, it makes it sound like you're not.
She's actually doing full sentences with the word China.
China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China.
How many ways can you say?
China China China Alright That's probably enough of that.
It got funnier and funnier as it went on.
Even his mouth moved away.
China.
His chin is on his back while he's talking.
Oh, my goodness.
That's so funny.
I've never seen that before.
For our audio-only listeners, there are tears in my eyes.
I don't know.
There are tears.
I don't know if we have a specific video of this instance, but he sat all of Bill Clinton's accusers in the front row at his debate with Hillary.
Like, you get to pick a few special guests, and he's like, I know what I'm going to do.
That was a pretty bold move.
And there's the great shots of Bill Clinton looking over, like, oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
That was so awkward.
Oh, my goodness.
Because I remember he was under fire at the time because that leaked video from Axis Hollywood, I think, about him, you know, at least the grabbing thing.
Yeah, the grabbing thing.
But only in the imagination.
In the imagination.
In the imagination.
At least that's what he said.
So to kind of rebuff that in advance, he's like, well, look at all these Bill Clinton people.
Yeah.
So they're like all there in case Hillary brought it up.
It's really funny.
What did Bill Clinton do, guys?
It's fantastic.
It's so good.
All right.
So the next one is, we appreciate it very much, Tim Apple.
This is a video that I did not see before.
Tim Cook, Tim Apple.
Let's find out what this is about.
He's referring to Tim Cook.
And we're going to be opening up the labor forces because we have to.
We have so many companies coming in.
People like Tim, you're expanding all over and doing things that I really wanted to do right from the beginning.
I used to say, Tim, you got to start doing it over here.
And you really have to.
I mean, you've really put a big investment in our country.
We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple.
We're opening it up.
Bob Bowie.
Tim Apple.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
So his real name is Tim Cook.
And he's the current CEO of Steve Bird Cook.
Kyle.
Tim Apple and B. Travis Target.
Travis Target.
Travis Stater Brothers.
So when Trump looked up at the sun without safety glasses in 2017's total solar eclipse, that was impressive.
I liked that a lot.
We don't have video of it, but you can imagine it.
Just pictures.
We'll show pictures.
Yeah.
I have a mildly funny story about that.
Okay.
So I was working at Stater Brothers.
Avalon B, the show of mildly funny stories.
Go ahead.
I didn't mean to insult you.
I'm sorry.
Well, I was working at Stater Brothers at the time, and I was at the office when the eclipse was happening, and I didn't bring the glasses or whatever.
And I know you're not supposed to look into the sun during an eclipse or ever.
Never, really, ever.
Really?
I don't, they say the eclipse makes it worse, but I don't know how true that is.
I don't think it makes it.
I don't look into the sun.
I think it's that more people do it.
People want to look at it at that moment.
Yeah.
So I looked into the sun.
I didn't really mean to.
I just kind of went outside and went, where is the sun?
Oh, it's over there.
And then I kind of looked away, which was stupid anyway, because it's not like I could see anything without glasses on.
My boss saw me do that because I walked outside and I walked back in and he's like, did you just look at the sun?
And I went, I was just trying to see where, yes, yes, I did.
And he just shook his head.
And then later, Trump did it.
And we all heard about it.
And then he comes into my area where I'm sitting and goes, can you believe the leader of the free world just looked at the sun right in front of me saying all this stuff?
Like, what a moron.
What an idiot.
Only idiots look at the sun.
Yeah.
And I was like, well, I looked at this.
But wasn't that one of those things that CNN and all the liberal outlets were really harping on?
Oh, yeah.
Too.
They were like harping on this idea.
Look at how dumb he is.
Yeah.
Like, look at only idiots do this.
And don't do it.
There was like this big warning.
It's almost like the COVID warnings.
It was like, don't do it.
Don't look at the sun.
You're going to lose your vision.
Right, right.
And yet, me, a genius, looked at the sun.
So what does that tell you?
You know, there's people that do like sun staring.
Yeah.
Like as a challenge?
No, it's like they say, oh, it's a government conspiracy that you're not supposed to look at the sun.
So like they'll, they'll, like when the sun rises, when it's a little like not quite as bright or like when it's setting, you know, because it's through so much atmosphere at that point.
Oh, sure.
They'll like stare at it for 10 minutes.
Like to prove the government.
Because it like gives you energy or vitamins or something.
Like the energy from the sun gets absorbed into your body.
Yeah.
Like Superman.
Kryptonians do that.
Kryptonians.
Or that guy in Superman 3.
The sun guy.
The original.
Trump.
Superintendent.
What's that for?
Yeah, the Quest for Peace.
He was Nuclear Man.
Nuclear Man.
Trump was giving out paper towels to hurricane victims in Puerto Rico.
And he started shooting them like he was shooting free throws.
Yeah, he was throwing them into the crowd like, yeah, you get paper towels.
You get paper towels.
And I mean, it was nice that he was giving them paper towels, but the delivery, the optics was like, this is fun.
He feels so much like Michael Scott to me in so many ways.
Like, you remember the episode of The Office when Michael Scott was like hyping up the crowd because he was at that stock meeting and the company's going bankrupt.
And he's like, oh, we're going to come back with a 47-point plan to save the company.
And everyone's like, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
But he doesn't have a plan, but he can't help himself.
And so he starts like, and then we're going to do it in an hour.
And everyone's scary.
And then he does the spin with the finger guns.
And everyone's like, yeah.
It's like once he starts feeling that energy from the crowd, he can't help himself.
Yeah.
There are some real similarities there.
Yeah.
That's good.
The Dwight Shreet speech is my favorite episode.
Oh, yeah.
That's so good.
Yeah.
That's my favorite episode of the entire, yeah, like the whole series.
Here's one that you may not remember, but Trump was shoving world leaders at NATO out of the way to be in the front of their big picture that they were taking the time.
I love that.
I mean, in his defense, we are America.
Or America.
Yeah.
Just like your shirt.
Just like just like my shirt, which you can buy at Babylon B. Go to the store on Babylon B.com.
You can get that.
And you can also get this hat if you are interested.
This is a good hat.
Hey, and remember that time that he spelled coffee correctly, but everyone thought it was a typo?
And they're like, it's cofefe.
And like, no, that's correct.
I think what he tweeted.
They're all spelling coffee wrong.
And may I add, this was like at 3 a.m. He tweeted, despite the constant negative press cafe, and then never finished it.
And tweeted it.
And it was up for like eight hours before they deleted it, which makes me think he got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.
He was like, I'm going to rant about the press.
And he was trying to say, despite the negative press coverage.
And then he was going to like go on, but he fumbled with it.
And then he tweeted it, didn't realize he tweeted it and was like, nah, forget it.
Isn't kefefe a Yiddish word?
Though I don't know.
We have one more beautiful Trump moment for you all.
Yeah.
So this is when Trump was feeding the koi fish in Japan.
With the Japanese.
This is not in Prime Minister.
China.
It's not in China.
It's in China.
China.
Yeah.
China.
Yeah.
So Shinzo said, we feed the koi fish now.
Trump says, I, fam.
And then he dumps out all the stuff.
He just dumped the whole pot.
Dumped the whole bench.
Yeah.
It's like, have you ever done this before?
Now, there was like breathless press coverage of this where they were like, Trump has insulted the Japanese people, and this is not how you're supposed to do it.
But then I later heard that that's what they told him to do or something.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And it was like all the coverage was messed up on that.
Oh, that's interesting.
But I'll have to go look it up.
It's like they were fake news.
It's almost like you are fake news.
You, the viewer.
You, the viewer.
We're fake news all day.
We are fake news.
Now that we've gone back and reminisced on the joyful, most wonderful period in our nation's history, let's move on because I have the resolve and the willpower needed.
I have been refreshed and I have the willpower needed to look at today's news.
So here we go.
Let's check out what's in the news.
What's in the news this week?
So Hunter Biden was convicted of three felonies related to lying on his forms to purchase a firearm.
Classic Hunter Biden.
I have a lot of thoughts on this.
Oh, tell me.
It's obviously good that finally Hunter Biden is being charged and convicted with something.
Like for so long, it's like, how long are you going to let this guy do all this crazy stuff?
In the Jerry Seinfeld voice.
How?
How long?
What's the deal with Hunter Biden?
Hunter Biden.
What's the deal?
The food's much smaller than it is outside the plane.
At the same time, the charge they got him with is like the smallest, like, oh, you forgot to check a box on a form.
That's what you're going to get, Hunter Biden.
And it feels like they're doing it just so they can say, see?
See?
Especially with the timing after the Trump conviction, going like, oh, see, we got Hunter too.
Justice is equal on both sides.
Look, we got him for that form that he didn't fill out correctly.
And now people are saying now, like, mostly Republicans, I think, that he never should have been charged for this anyway.
Because even though he lied on a form, it's like he shouldn't have been deprived of his Second Amendment rights just because he used drugs.
What is your opinion on that?
So I guess there was a count that one of the counts was regarding possessing a gun while you're addicted to drugs, which seems like such a big law anyway.
Yeah.
Like, I drink a lot of coffee.
Am I not allowed to have?
I think it would have to do with after being like either charged with possession or being charged with use of drugs publicly or something like that.
Coffee.
There's some kind of legal definition of being addicted to drugs.
Yeah, what's the legal?
I don't know.
Because I don't think you can just look at a person and be like, well, you do drugs.
You shouldn't have a gun.
And that's legal.
And you know what?
He probably was like, well, I didn't do them today.
That's right.
No.
I haven't done him in Twitter.
I'm kind of surprised this he was convicted.
I mean, maybe he had, there's evidence where he's like, I couldn't believe I lied on this form.
But I mean, you could so easily make the argument, oh, I forgot to check it.
Or it's unintentional.
And yeah.
Well, the biggest thing is that it's in comparison to all the other crazy stuff he's done.
This is the thing.
Right.
So it's like checking the form.
We have like actually.
It's like how they got Al Capone for jaywalking.
For jaywalking and tax evasion.
It is like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
It's crazy.
And so.
And you guys remember Speaker Mike Johnson tweeted this, reminding everybody about this, but you remember when this case first was going to trial, they were offering him the sweetheart deal that included immunity from all other charges.
Yeah, it was like related to plead guilty to this, and then you're somehow innocent of everything.
And then anything else, like all the bribes that they're accusing you of and selling access to your father.
I'm sitting here waiting for a call with my father.
With the big guy.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I'm sitting here waiting for your call with my father.
And you don't get him for that.
You get him for this dumb little thing.
And it just totally feels like they're throwing a bone out there.
Because immediately all the crazy lefties on Twitter tweeted the exact same thing, which was like, huh?
Where's your rig justice system now, huh?
They got Hunter Biden.
They finally got Hunter.
So it's like the memo went out.
It fixes in, people.
Yeah.
It's so obvious, especially because of the way they are doubling down on it.
So CNN's actually reporting it as the Hunter Biden verdict shatters Trump's persecution narrative.
Yeah.
This is how you know it's wrong.
Like what they're saying is because CNN is saying you are fake news.
CNN.
Fake news outlet.
Fake news, Jim Acosta.
The little caption that says Hunter Biden's guilty verdict should bolster faith in the new should bolster faith in the legal system.
And I was wondering this, like they always say this, like it's some sin or it's some great crime to not trust the legal system or not trust the election system.
Or they're like, Republicans are spreading lies that are making people question the legal system.
Well, shouldn't you?
Shouldn't we be questioning things?
Isn't that part of our God-given duty as Americans?
But don't you know that you are saved by grace through faith in the American legal system?
Isn't that what the founding fathers said?
Do you not know?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
So some actual quotes from this CNN article, according to them, regarding the Trump claims that are discredited by the Hunter Biden verdict.
They say throughout his trial in Manhattan, his former hometown, Trump insisted he couldn't get a fair verdict in a city that votes mostly Democrat.
But Delaware is a blue state and a jury, they just convicted the prisoners since.
Is that how they typed it?
Like in the SpongeBob font.
Yeah, that's how it looks.
But I don't think that's really like a claim that gets this, it's not somehow invalid that he says, I can't get a fair trial.
Well, he obviously didn't get a fair trial.
Yeah, I don't think it was even just because of the jury.
It was because of the way the judge was changing the rules.
Oh, yeah, all the time.
And just the fact that the case was brought in the first place.
Yeah.
You know, that's a lot of what we're talking about when we say that this is like a biased thing and a political persecution.
It's just that they're trying him for something that you could probably have tried every politician for at some point, and yet they're not.
They only did it to Trump.
And they're trying him for all 34 accounts, right?
Yeah, they got him on 34 accounts.
34 accounts of the, you know, so it's like they're being they're nickel and diamond him and they're giving Hunter this big wide swath.
Yeah, he got, he got three, well, he got three counts.
Right.
But like two are basically the same thing, which is the box.
Forging and the one not forging, lying on the form.
It's lying on the form and then having the gun that you lied on the finger.
And the other one is being addicted while having a gun.
Yeah.
And CNN also said that the Hunter Biden verdict also contradicts the central rationale of Trump's multiple legal defenses in his four criminal cases, several civil matters, and his entire presidential campaign.
This is the false notion that he's a victim of a weaponized legal system by Justice Department that exclusively targets Republicans.
Yeah.
But it's kind of still true.
Well, and there's also like there's different attorneys, DAs that are bringing different charges against different people.
So it's like it's a complex discussion.
And may I add, did you not see the video of Trump putting the hat back on the Marine?
Or the one where he put the candy bar on the menu.
Yeah.
I rest my case.
We'd never see Biden do that.
If his attorney had only played those videos, Trump would have.
If only.
I don't know.
How can you convict this man?
Look what he did.
Yeah, the prosecution would be like, objection, your honor, relevance.
And they would say, like, well, this establishes a baseline for the character of my client.
Yeah.
And they go, oh, well, sustain.
Maybe we should throw this out.
Objection overruled.
Overruled.
They say, once again, let's watch the minion video.
Let's just watch this.
And actually, can we play that China video, please?
Oh, that probably would have been the full pardon.
Oh, yeah.
People would have been laughing on both sides of the aisle.
It would have been amazing.
So the article also suggests that new falsehoods are being brought up.
We don't have to go over all of these.
But like Mike Johnson said, we will continue to demand accountability for the corrupt business dealings of the Biden family.
And apparently, that's a new falsehood, even though people have been saying that for a long time.
It's a new falsehood.
And also, Magic the Gathering.
What's the falsehood that Biden's family is corrupt?
Well, according to CNN, no evidence has been found, or at least no evidence that you can bring to trial.
It's all circumstantial.
But I mean, come on.
So the text messages from Hunter that are like, I am a corrupt business person trying to do a corrupt business deal, and I'm sitting here with my father waiting for you to call me so we can do a corrupt business deal together.
And I quote, corrupt.
That's not.
I guess technically that's hearsay.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's, yeah.
Yeah.
And Magic the Gathering was quoted as saying, Hunter Biden just became the deep state's sacrificial lamb to show that justice is balanced while the other Biden crimes remain ignored.
But that's also true.
That's Marjorie Taylor Greene.
It's kind of pretty obvious that that's what's going on here.
Yeah.
Oh, this guy said it best actually on Twitter.
Oh, who's this guy?
The president's son being convicted of his most minor crime only after the DA got caught trying to give him a sweetheart deal proves once and for all the justice system is impartial.
So I saw a tweet today yesterday.
You did?
And somebody shared this comic of a woman and she's drinking a martini or something, sitting by the pool.
She's got some tattoos, a sun hat, a borderline modest outfit, maybe slightly immodest, depending on if you're wearing a shirt for a pool.
Yeah.
And she's sitting at the pool and there's a quote there.
It says, I've never been in a situation where I thought kids would make this more enjoyable.
And I wanted to think about this for a second because I was trying to think.
I'm like, well, I was trying to think of situations where kids don't make it more enjoyable.
Like most of the things that you go out and do in life, kids make it more enjoyable.
Unless to me, all you do is go to tattoo parlors.
That's not as enjoyable with kids.
And sit by pools and drink martinis.
But that you can even do with kids.
I mean, they don't drink the martinis.
Yeah.
Or if you went to probably a margarita.
She went shopping for that bathing suit.
That's not always easier with kids.
If you went to a Las Vegas Vegas casino and put everything on black, that would be less enjoyable with kids because you're not allowed to take them into the casino and gamble.
You can kind of walk through the floor.
But not actually go.
That's right.
Yeah, gambling.
I can't think of much else, though.
It just means that she hasn't had very many good experiences in her life.
She spent most of her life doing, you know, partying or whatever it is that these young people do.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, in general, though, just the idea I've never been in.
You never thought of one.
You can't even think of one.
Like, sometimes me and my wife will be like, let's leave the kids home for the weekend, you know, get a babysitter.
Yeah.
That's right.
And we'll go out for the weekend and just spend time just me and you.
It's our anniversary or whatever.
And like those times, it's like, yeah, well, but at the same time, as soon as you go, you're like, man, I miss the kids.
They would, they would really enjoy this.
It always happens.
I'll tell you, if you are a smug, self-satisfied, self-righteous, selfish, selfish person.
Boy, am I.
But that's the thing.
Like, that's the entire thing, right?
Like, I don't know.
It's those parents.
What do they call them now?
The starts with a D.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Dad?
No, no, no.
There's parents.
Not dink.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So if you're income, no kids.
If you're a dink, then, you know, like your life is entirely about yourself.
That's not the D word I was thinking.
Yeah, me neither.
But, you know, your whole life is about you.
Every experience is about you.
You know what I mean?
Like you, your relationships are about you.
So good luck with that marriage lady in the, I don't know if she's married or not, but, you know, and say, like, good luck.
C.S. Lewis talks about this in Out of the Silent Planet, where he's talking to the people on the aliens on the other planet on Mars or whatever.
And he's and he's explaining, trying to explain sin to them, but they don't have a concept of sin.
And they're like, I don't get.
Does he just tell them they're morons?
He's like, you morons.
But you idiots.
But he's talking to them to this alien race that doesn't have a concept of sin because they haven't fallen into sin.
And he's trying to explain like, well, what if, like, what if you wanted to prolong the enjoyable experiences of your youth?
And so you started like committing, you know, like doing bad things to try.
And he's trying to explain it.
And they're like, why would you want to do that?
Like, you already have the memory of that time.
Like, you still have that.
Yeah.
And so he, so Lewis talks about how joy, the joy of an experience, a lot of that is the consummation of looking back on and remembering it.
And that's where the joy becomes complete.
And so this is a roundabout way to talk about how people want to preserve their youth and like, oh, man, I used to go out with my friends.
They want to recreate pleasurable experiences because he gets cling to it as long as possible.
And only do those over and over again.
That's why Perilandra, he does it in Paralandra too, where he goes to eat the fruit and he eats the fruit once, but then the spirit of the spirit of, was it Malakandra or whatever?
The God spirit is like, don't eat another one.
That was pleasurable enough for now.
Yeah.
And you have the memory of it and the joy of that memory will make it complete or whatever.
Not saying everything she's doing is a good thing that you should look back on or whatever.
Yeah.
But it's like having fun with your friends and, oh, we went to the pool and that was fun.
And it's like, I want to do that for the rest of my life.
Forever.
Imperfect.
You know, forever.
And it's like, no, the memory is the consummation that makes the joy complete.
And it's like, they don't want to realize it.
And what they don't realize is that when you have kids, you get to go do those things again with kids and see it a second time.
It's like, I don't need to go back to my, in my high school days, I could have been a state champion.
Well, then you can, you have a kid that you teach to play football and he becomes a state champion and you get to live it all over again.
And it's like through him.
And that's the other part.
You don't get the filter of seeing it for the first time again through someone else's eyes.
Like if you're just this dink or whoever this lady is, I'm mad at her.
Like, I don't like this lady.
Get out of here, dink.
Dink.
If you're just a dink.
Anyway, then you never get the opportunity to see it through the filter of your own kids' eyes, the joy that comes from seeing something for the first time again.
So you're just reliving something over and over again and you're getting diminishing returns, almost like an addiction.
And so like over time, it's not as good.
Like, you know, you have to.
You won't be able to buy a gun.
You smoke cigars with your friends every day of the week.
You don't want to do it anymore.
Yeah.
So the third time you lie in a federal form to get a firearm, the thrill is gone.
So it's interesting that you guys brought that up, though, the idea of experiencing it again through your kids' eyes.
Because I agree, obviously, that's one of the most beautiful things about having children.
But I've noticed, like, there's a suggestion in the popular culture right now where it's like, oh, I can't believe those losers are just trying to live through their kids.
You know, why can't they do it themselves?
They're failures.
I don't know if you've come across that, but it's looking at it with a very narcissistic attitude, like, oh, it should have been me.
I should have been the football player or, you know, not supporting the kids, not experiencing it.
I feel like it's more of a byproduct.
Like, it's not something you try for.
Yeah.
Like, I didn't like force my kid to learn guitar.
No.
You know, but it's like he sees you playing guitar and then he's like, oh, I want to learn guitar.
And then he gets to have all these experiences.
And I'm like, that's the exact same thing I did when I was a kid.
And it's just, it's almost just a byproduct of your kids.
There are also, to your point, I think there are parents, obviously, that do this in a really unhealthy way.
Yeah.
Like, so they live through their kids.
Like, we're in the little league, right?
So certain kids, they think their kids are going to be professionals.
They push them.
And really, it's all about them.
I remember growing up, there were some dads like that.
And those types, there is an unhealthy way of that experiencing.
But most, most people don't have that.
They just are joyful that their kids are experiencing it.
Yeah, there's probably jerks.
I mean, obviously.
Yeah.
There's dinks out there.
Being a parent doesn't make you a good person.
And not having kids doesn't make you a bad person.
No.
But dinks.
But being a dink does.
And being like self-righteous about it.
But there's people with dual incomes and no kids that are fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and aren't trying.
And they can't have kids.
Or they can't have kids or for whatever reason.
They're not dinks.
Right.
You can be a dink and not be a dink.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So what did you tweet about this, though?
I just tweeted and said this woman has obviously never been to a baseball game because that's the most obvious example to me of like, I like going to baseball games and watching baseball games, but taking your kids is way more enjoyable.
And then I shared a picture of me and my son because we were at the Padres game last night when they hit a walk-off home run from the most unexpected hitter who's been terrible all year.
So I like what you said.
Experiencing a baseball game is 16,000 times more enjoyable.
It's true.
It's a very specific number, too.
I calculate.
I did the math.
Yeah, traveling.
Everything's good.
Because I've only taken my kids to a couple baseball games and the Quake Stadium, GoQuakes.
Go Tremor.
Go Tremor.
I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to be as enjoyable as it was just to watch them watching the game and me explaining to them the rules.
It's not incomparable.
It's great because nobody wants me to explain baseball rules to them.
And so my kids have to listen to me explain baseball rules to them.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's why I like taking Dan to the baseball game when we went to the Giants game in San Francisco.
Does he have to explain the rules?
Well, he was like, what does that stat mean?
And I was like, well, I am glad that you asked.
And I'm glad we have three hours with you stuck in the seat next to me because I'm going to explain it all to you.
So, speaking of dinks, the Pope said, there is an air of, can we say this?
No, it's not.
Isn't it?
What was it? It was...
Fagioti. Fagioti. Fagioti.
Faggiottini.
Faggiotini.
The word is R-F slur word for tree.
Bundle of slurs.
So homeless.
Ness is not the proper stuff.
Yeah.
So there is an air of blankness in the Vatican.
I wonder if it's not even a slur in Italian.
It might not be.
Like, it's just a word that's.
But Italians are very pretty.
He basically said that the schools and the Vatican and stuff are all very gay.
Yeah.
So he already said this, and then he apologized for it, but then he did it again.
Yeah, that's what makes it funnier.
He's also 87, just like all the other women.
He's like, ah, you know, just so you know, I'm 87.
But this says, and Reuters said that he's been credited with making substantial overtures towards the LGBT community during his 11-year papacy.
Some observers of the Vatican say his recent missteps undermine his authority and raise questions about his convictions and the reform path he has in mind for the church.
But doesn't this really just make him better?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now he'll probably just apologize.
I mean, he's still Pope.
He is the Pope.
Hey.
I thought he was infallible.
Well, only when he's speaking ex-Cathedra about the faggot.
Yeah, so if I understand Catholic doctrine correctly, if the Pope is just hanging out and he's like, in and out, it's the best burger.
He's not making a doctrinal statement.
Correct.
Not on the Holy See.
Yeah.
Although that would be true.
That would still.
But it's not doctrine at them.
He also has said some other things.
It's funny, the Catholics always get mad at us when we talk about Catholicism.
I'm trying to be fair.
That's why I'm trying to explain the doctrine of papal infallibility.
He told priests on Wednesday to keep omni short, no longer than eight minutes.
For those Protestant people out there, a homily is the sermon.
Yeah, it's basically don't know that.
But he said, because after that time, attention is lost and people fall asleep and they are all right.
Priests sometimes talk a lot and you don't understand what the heck they're talking about.
And he didn't say heck.
He did not say heck.
No, he said just what they're talking about.
I like that and I appreciate it.
The homily is less of a feature in a Catholic Mass than the sermon is at a Protestant service.
Yeah, it's like one of the things in the service where us it's like build up to the sermon, big sermon, and then it's the round.
And then we have a conclusion.
How long do you guys think a sermon should be at church?
I think it really just depends on the content of the sermon.
If it's got the quality and they're covering a big subject, longer is better.
I think anywhere between half an hour and an hour is acceptable.
Over that is pushing it.
I have a tendency to get, and this is just probably my flesh or whatever, but I have a tendency to get real uncomfortable after about 30 minutes.
I mean, that's fair.
I start to get kind of sweaty.
I stop losing.
I stop having interest.
And it's not to say that, because I do think if you have a great concept that's theological, if you have something that's really important to say, you don't have to say it for a long time.
You can say it and it can be profound and you can remember it if it's shorter.
I think a lot of people kind of.
I feel like most pastors have about 25 minutes of content and speak for twice as long.
Sometimes that definitely happens.
There's also teachers, though, that can go on and on and on.
So if you got a teacher, you know, somebody that can really exposit, you know.
Like Trump.
Right.
Then I can really, I can pay attention for a long time.
If it's somebody with like a lot of deep.
Well, speaking of Trump, he goes on like two and a half hours in his speeches.
Yeah, his rallies.
Can you go to one of his?
I was at a Trump speech at the Faith and Freedom Coalition a couple years ago, and it was clear that he was reading off a teleprompter for the first like five minutes.
And then it was very clear that he wasn't.
And he talked for like two hours.
And then it was very clear when he got back on the teleprompter for the conclusion.
Oh, that's amazing.
And the teleprompter parts were better, honestly.
But at the time, he was just ranting about the stolen election, and he was going on about everybody persecuting him.
And it was just like, oh my gosh, man.
That's how he roll.
He's just whipping up the crowd.
Yeah.
But it wasn't even that.
Like, people weren't even excited about it.
It was like, is he still talking?
So I must have seen one of the lesser Trump speeches, unfortunately.
Sad.
He didn't do this either.
He didn't dance?
He didn't do this.
I was very sad.
Or hug the flag.
Well.
Did he say China?
Probably.
I wasn't paying attention to that diet.
All right, guys.
Well, it's time for Red Lobster Facts.
Yay.
Red Lobster invented popcorn shrimp, you guys, in 1974.
And it's been a staple of red lobster ever since.
Did you guys ever like popcorn shrimp?
Did you ever eat it?
I'm not a huge shrimp guy.
And I don't really know what is the difference.
Is popcorn mean it's like fried and pottery?
It's tinier and it's fried and it battered.
Yeah.
Okay.
And it looks like popcorn.
I would eat it all day if I could.
I love popcorn shrimp.
I never order it in restaurants, though, because I feel like I'm not getting enough food because it's eat, you can go through popcorn shrimp like nothing.
And popcorn shrimp goes through you like nothing.
Yes.
Especially red lobster.
That's true.
It's because of the batter they use and it just slides through your intestines.
It doesn't even natural diuretic.
I'm not a big seafood guy, honestly.
I just don't really like seafood.
I do like fish tacos on occasion.
And I did come around a little bit on like a shrimp cocktail.
But I find like with most seafood, I just like the sauce.
And I have to really disguise the fact that it's seafood.
And then I'm like, oh, that was pretty good.
But it's only because I like dipped it in so much, much horseradish or whatever that I can't taste the fish.
Now, have you been to Red Lobster?
Oh.
Have you been to the Crab Cooker?
I don't know what that is.
It's in Newport Beach.
Nixon.
I just dropped there.
Yeah, I just drove by there.
Yeah.
Nixon went there.
Is it good?
No.
I don't remember.
I don't know.
I've always been a huge.
I've always liked shrimp.
I think shrimp of all the crustaceans, shrimp and scallops are amazing.
Yeah.
I like lobster too.
I grew up with lobster because my grandmother, we were from Maine.
So she would be a little bit more.
My grandmother was a lobster.
My grandmother was a lobster.
I'm part lobster.
Oh.
Maine lobster.
Cannibalism then.
Have you been to Bubble Gumps?
No.
No.
Oh, it's also good.
Not as good as Red Lobster.
This has been Red Lobster Facts.
Now it's time for Red Lobster Mail.
This is Red Lobster Mail from Elijah P. My favorite Red Lobster memory was when we went for the first time and last time when I was seven years old.
And my mom told me about the rare blue lobster.
And I decided that red lobster wasn't a posh enough name for the cost of the food.
If it was named Blue Lobster, it would better mirror the prices within the establishment.
Thanks, Elijah.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So this is a comment on our interview with the Honorable Judge Matt Walsh.
Which has gone live.
Which is live.
Oh.
I thought you were going to say, which has gone viral.
It's about to after this haymail.
Ken is preaching.
Says, if you don't rebuke him for his Catholicism, you're not a serious podcast.
Catholicism will not get him to heaven.
Wait, is Matt Walsh a Catholic?
Yes.
Is that a recent event?
No.
No.
He's always been a Catholic.
Yes.
Well, I mean, he wrote that book.
At some point, he's about Catholicism, really.
Interesting.
I do like the idea that you cannot be a real podcast unless you have rebuked Matt Walsh for him.
Yeah, because he's not even.
Hey, everyone, welcome to the Joe Rogan Show.
We want to start out by rebuking Matt Walsh for his family.
We need to do a little bit of house cleaning.
There's some discipline we've got to take care of first.
I mean, if we were having like, if it was a Bible study hour with Matt Walsh, we would maybe talk about, well, we have some issues with your beliefs.
Maybe more like this is church council hour with Matt Walsh.
I mean, like even more like organized and official.
Church discipline.
Yeah, that's like even more than a mostly just asking him about our petty problems in life.
so it didn't come up.
Muchas gracias.
Love me.
Oh, love me.
This is from Christina.
Christina C.
Oh, you want to take it, Travis?
Sure.
Yeah.
I'm a few weeks behind on podcast episodes.
But I cannot believe the article about the Disney, the chosen, roller coaster was the ball of the week.
That was one of my favorite B articles so far.
I tell you what, it actually made me laugh out loud, which is rare.
Rare.
Brilliant humor and so many layers.
I love the podcast and am thankful for a clean, entertaining podcast.
It still makes me juggle.
My family is going through a very rough time.
We have a sick baby who has a poor prognosis.
I hope you let you feel as the right voice for this.
I hope you feel terrible about doing a funny accent now.
I do.
I do.
Let's finish in normal voice.
Sounds good.
I'm always driving.
I'm always driving to the hospital.
You know.
We love you, Christina.
For the treatments.
I'm always driving to and from the hospital at midnight and listening to your podcast keeps me awake while driving at night.
I'm sorry.
And keeps me laughing during a difficult time.
See, I was just mimicking that laughter.
I appreciate the humor while still being Christian and wholesome.
Thanks for all the laughs.
I'm really sorry for laughing.
It was a nervous laugh.
It goes down as an old-time podcast moment when you decided to start reading it.
In a funny accent.
I should have.
I hope Christina is laughing on the way to the hospital right now because of Christina.
We will pray for you and your family.
And that is a challenge.
Sometimes a funny accent can help through challenging times.
Coping.
Coping mechanism.
And humor is a great coping mechanism.
That's what I found.
Absolutely.
I found it.
Did you ever see Patch Adams?
Oh, yeah.
With Robin Williams.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where he set up those big legs for the OB.
Oh, I remember.
I remember that.
That's the part I remember.
That's the part that's indelible on the hippocampus.
It's right there.
I think about that all the time, but only in my imagination.
All right, everybody.
Thank you for joining us this week.
It is time to go to our subscriber lounge.
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