Kyle is back with Jarret, Brandon and Travis for one last weekly release of the Babylon Bee podcast and to announce how the podcast is changing. Instead of one dedicated show each week, we will still have interviews and do less structured, discussion-focused podcasts as we focus more on bigger, secret projects. The team this week brings you what's in the news like Hillary Clinton blaming the heat on MAGA republicans, a discussion on how Christians should use humor, terrible Bible jokes and more! Thank you to all our fans and supporters who love the recurring podcast and don't go away, there's more to come! In the subscriber section the four discuss their favorite Christian movies growing up and how skateboarding was a popular hobby amongst Christian youths. Followed by bonus hate mail and subscriber headlines. This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: Samaritan Ministries- samaritanministries.org/thebabylonbee Undertac- https://www.undertac.com Issues, Etc.- https://issuesetc.org/ Allegiance Gold- https://lp.allegiancegold.com/bb/
They're raising the core temperature of the earth by a single degree in the next 100 years.
Is joking a sin?
No.
How do we know?
God made your mom.
Universal Studios throws shade at the Hollywood Strike by cutting shade to protesters.
Zing.
All this and four morons.
The Babylon Bee Podcast.
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Hey, everyone, welcome to the Bee Weekly.
How you guys doing?
Good.
Good.
Oh, you know, I'm really excited about this Bee Weekly because it's the last one.
That's incredibly sad.
I was this close to spitting out my coffee.
Why are you telling this now?
Like, you gather us in this room.
Well, I didn't want to get you guys all down ahead of time.
I wanted you to get pumped up and excited to do the show.
Yeah.
And then just be like, oh, it's over.
But we still have to do the show to be excited about.
So it's not like we don't just leave right now.
No, you still have to be excited for the remainder of this program, but then the show's over and we're never doing another Beat Weekly ever.
I mean, this is a bittersweet experience.
What's the sweet part?
It's a bittersweet symphony.
That it's over?
No, that we get to hang out and do it together one more time.
Oh, that's a good idea.
So the bitter part is that it's over.
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm not a part of this.
I'm not a monster.
The bitter part is that we're here.
The sweet part is that it will soon be over.
I'm not a digi monster.
No, so we are making some changes around here at the Babylon Bee and for some fun, exciting reasons.
So we have some big fun projects coming up.
And unfortunately, that means that certain things have to be put on the back burner a little bit.
And one of those is the Be Weekly.
So the Bee Weekly is no longer going to exist in its current form.
Now, you're still going to have some podcasts showing up in your podcast feed.
They're just not going to be necessarily weekly.
And they probably won't be the same format that you're used to where we're talking about the news and doing all that kind of stuff.
They're going to be a little different.
But we're going to have to explore and figure out exactly what that looks like.
But it might just be a little more sporadic on the schedule as we work on some fun, top secret projects that we're going to tell you about soon, and then they won't be at that secret anymore.
We're also working on putting together some live streams that we could do periodically, hopefully fairly regularly.
These will be live streams available to subscribers to the website, but they will be much more interactive than the traditional podcast.
We'll have a chat feature so that we can actually take questions and interact with the B community through this.
Are you saying we're making a choose your own adventure?
It's basically the same thing.
Wow, exactly.
Turn to page 17.
You have just died.
You're eaten by a groove.
Yeah, ultimately, I mean, there's a lot of decisions and a lot of thought that went into this, but it is a lot of work to sit down each week and do a weekly podcast where we have to cover the news, put out these detailed notes, and do it in a way that's fun and exciting.
And we have these other fun projects that we're having to write and do scripting for.
A little hint of what it might be, you know?
It's scripted.
We do know that.
Scripts have to exist for it.
And we really wanted to focus our satirical minds on that.
So I'm hoping that you're still going to get a similar amount of content on the podcast feed.
It's just going to look a little different.
So it might be a little more timeless, a little less news focused, and it probably won't be the same exact structured format.
So the B Weekly won't exist, but the Babylon Bee podcast will continue on in some form as we feel out what that is.
And Travis's Game Corner is going daily.
And what I'm trying to say is the B podcast is now just two hours of Travis Game Corner every day, as per your demands.
I think the sad thing is I could probably do that.
Twice daily.
Twice?
Well, okay, hold on.
Oh, I should also mention the B podcast will still have interviews.
But we really appreciate you guys listening and supporting and subscribing through the years.
This isn't really the end, but it's continuing on in a different form as the podcast has evolved.
Just decided that we need to take it in a different direction.
Smile or pollution is a sin.
Oh, as the podcast has been created in six literal days over the past several years.
Thank you.
Six literal years.
Into what it currently is.
Yeah, but we always appreciate your guys' listenership and support, and the podcast has been such a blast to carry out each and every week.
Absolutely.
And I'm really excited to see where this new project goes.
And I'm really excited to see what the podcast kind of evolves.
I'm actually excited about the podcast because it's going to be interactive.
I think that part of it, the live stream part of it, makes it more exciting for me because we get to actually talk to you.
That's going to be fun.
We're not sure exactly what it's going to look like, so I can't make any necessary promises about exactly what it's going to look like.
But one of the things we had thought about was also doing, you know, putting out the same full-length episode for subscribers and non-subscribers a lot of the time, but then doing bonus episodes that are full-length episodes for subscribers.
I've seen a lot of podcasts handle it that way where you have two or three free episodes and then a free episode and then a paid episode that's just for subscribers.
That might be a fun way to do it.
So we're going to try a few different formats and see where it goes.
On another sadder note that's just bitter and not sweet at all, B Radio is no more.
So those of you who have been following Austin Robertson's B Radio, which is always a blast to listen to every week, and a lot of our voices are featured on it, that is something we simply do not have the time for with everything else that we're doing.
So B Radio will not be appearing in your feed after this week.
And please go give the last episode a listen.
Austin Robertson is trying to put together a big fun bonanza for the final episode.
So give that a listen and make sure to leave him a comment and thank him for his support.
I think he did 100 episodes or something.
Over 100.
It's been a blast doing voices for B Radio.
Personally, I love voice acting and I don't like being on camera.
So it's a fun way to be involved in some of the production without having this ugly mug on screen.
It was ugly.
Stop that.
But I do think being able to do the variety of voices that we get to do every week and trying to impersonate some of these senators and stuff.
Very bad impersonations.
But it was a lot of fun to do.
Always doing like an Elon Musk.
I think your impersonations are good.
No, they're not.
Mine are just like, oh, that just sounds like Travis.
I didn't really try hard.
Every Travis impersonation has a similar bent to it.
Travis.
Irishman.
Hello, Mike.
I'm an Irishman.
That sounds like a sort of a cockney.
Ah, senor Mexicano.
Chinese person.
Wait.
You need more ingredients for fentanyl.
Give me a rice now.
Rice.
I mean, fentanyl.
Fentanyl.
That's my favorite.
Travis's Chinese.
Fentanyl.
Yeah.
That's my favorite.
I do think that's the charm of the Travis thing, though, isn't it?
I serve a purpose.
You do.
Of some sort.
And a great God.
No, this is why we have to cancel the podcast.
All right.
Well, we're going to have a fun final B Weekly for you guys this week.
We have a discussion about what the Bible says about Christian telling jokes.
What's in the news this week?
Bad Bible jokes and more.
So here we go.
Well, let's take a look at what's in the news this week.
What's in the news this week?
Hi, I'm Adam Jenser, the Babylon Bee's resident Lutheran, and I'm one of the good ones, Missouri Synod.
Are you looking for a new podcast?
Maybe one created by Lutherans?
Well, here's a podcast I recommend, Issues, etc.
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Go to issuesetceter.org today.
Hillary Clinton blamed hot weather today on MAGA Republicans.
And she shared a climate action post that said Phoenix hit a record 110 degrees.
39-day heat wave smashed a record.
July 4th was Earth's hottest day in over 100,000 years because you know of all those thermometers they had.
Yeah, how did they determine that?
And why not just hottest day ever?
Well, they take like predictive models over what they extrapolate over their like, oh, in this particular period, it must have been this temperature over on average.
But it has nothing to do with hottest day.
Carbon.
You can't tell that.
This carbon was super hot 100,000 years ago.
So hot.
Which is kind of funny because we actually had a really cool, mild spring all the way up.
It was.
It wasn't even sunny in June.
And finally, just in the last week or two, we've been hitting it.
It was saving it all up.
The climate, the climate was saving all their hot days for now.
120 is really hot.
120 is hot.
That is hot.
114 is hot.
It was on in Fresno.
It was 114 this week.
The thing that these climate alarmists never really take into consideration is, yes, we are seeing some hot days unprecedented within our particular lifetimes.
And they make it out like it's this big catastrophic event that is immediately preventable by voting Democrats into office.
When in reality, they only have these basic models that predict like a one degree increase in the next hundred years or so.
And there's no actual verifiable evidence that climate initiative policies would do anything to affect that or very much to affect that.
Simultaneously, what we do know is that over the course of history, there's a significantly larger percentage of cold-related deaths than there are heat-related deaths.
So if the days are getting warmer, less people will die.
They don't care about less people will die.
See, the problem is they want more people to die.
So there's less people on the earth.
That's what Kamala Harris just said in her speech.
Didn't she just say that?
She literally said.
No, she said we are going to control population people.
We're going to reduce population.
So that is actually the goal, Brandon.
When we invest in clean energy and electric vehicles and reduce population, more of our children can breathe clean air and drink clean water.
The White House transcript of that speech said that she had said reduce pollution rather than reduce population.
But she said reduce population.
She said because she's that good.
But really, the real news isn't the climate change.
Not news at all.
That Hillary Clinton was like, hot enough for you.
I mean, why is she throwing?
She always just comes out of her hidey hole to throw shade at people and be like, huh, I bet you wish you voted for me, but I had emails.
So she actually tweeted, hot enough for you?
Thank a MAGA Republican.
Or better yet, vote them out of office.
And she didn't say wink, but she means it.
And the interesting thing about this is like, no matter if you think that climate change is man-made or, you know, caused by whatever fossil fuels and this and that, like, MAGA was a thing, you know, in the last few years.
It's not like you're changing your voting in the last few years would have affected how hot it is in Phoenix today.
That's what I mean.
They make it out as if this is a very long arc.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, Hillary doesn't know what Twitter is.
Because she used the spacing weird?
No, her aides do all this stuff.
There's no way she even knows what Twitter is.
Her aides?
I'm not even sure.
But I don't know what Twitter is anymore.
Tweets like this remind me how it's conservatives who are the divisive ones that are really stoking these culture wars.
Thanks a MAGA Republican.
And you know that it's true that it's hot because this graphic is orange.
I know it looks hot.
I'm feeling warmer already.
This graphic's still hot.
The first draft of this graphic was blue.
And they're like, oh, I feel cold.
What is this?
And say, can we try this with like warmer colors?
Yeah.
It really needs to pop.
It needs to make it work.
Make it pop.
I mean, I'm looking at it.
I feel warmer looking at it.
And I also don't know what Twitter is because Twitter doesn't exist anymore.
Oh, why?
What happened to it?
Much like the Bee Weekly.
It's dead.
It's literally dead.
And it has been replaced with X.
Oh.
Oh, so that's what we should have said.
The B Weekly is just becoming the B weekly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
We don't know what that means.
That's how we're going to rebrand.
Yeah, so what do you guys think about it being called X?
I think it's Xtreme.
I actually have no opinion.
I couldn't care.
I couldn't care about changing the name of Twitter.
Elon seems to really not like the name Twitter.
I don't like the name Twitter.
I've never liked it.
You've never liked it.
And I've never wanted to adopt Twitter.
I finally opened a Twitter account.
I don't think anyone made you adopt it.
I have like two Twitter followers.
Basically, I only got it ever since Elon started doing these revamps.
I opened one this week when he changed the name, though.
Do you like X better than Twitter?
I do.
Definitely.
Definitely.
I get why they did it, you know, because what they're trying to do is make this the everything app.
And it's a little unclear what that is, but trying to make it involved with payments.
And you go there for your video, you go there for your social media, you go there for your AI, for search.
They want it to be everything.
And that's why he saw the initial investment as being so important, not because it was just this little place where you can tweet about what you're eating or what Pokemon you just caught, but because it's a place where you'll go to do.
That's what I use my Twitter for, for telling people what Pokemon I caught.
Literally.
Just caught Bulbasaur, guys.
Is my favorite thing about it being the uh town square of the internet, because I I always get the mental image of someone just literally in a town square yelling I got bulbator.
I was like I see that guy.
I have an image of a medieval town square too and there's there's always a well in the middle and there's a fish monger well in the middle, there's a fishmonger on the side and a guy.
All the houses are like hay, they're covered in hay.
You know, I like they're thatched, they're thatched roofs, cottages.
I like how.
I like how he's doing this, as threads is being lowered into the ground.
He's like, no, this is how you get rid of twitter x x x, twitter x.
Yeah, it's kind of a retro 2000s looking logo.
I like it.
You know, like matrix, it's like really futuristic but almost to the sense like where they would have done things like in the early 2000s with extreme mountain dew and yeah, Extreme days doing it, doing it tomorrow.
When the, when The Bin, when The Best Extreme Days, Extreme Days.
The movie Extreme starring Dante Bosco yeah, the guy from Extreme Days, that was the song.
I loved that movie.
That was great.
Dude Roofy, oh, I just watched Hook this weekend.
That's the the second best Christian film after Um Hook Extreme Days.
Yeah, wasn't that?
Wasn't that Hookhawk's first film?
Stephen Baldwin had had a hand in that when it was his first deal.
That's in my.
I went, I went to Sodium, was that where it was?
I went to the production House when they were making it.
I think there was like a cuss word or an off-color joke in that.
It's called Extreme.
That's the cuss, wasn't there?
They ate a pickled egg, was that?
Was that what you're saying?
That's what i'm thinking.
I still haven't seen it.
I gotta see it.
I've never seen that movie.
When I, when I saw all the talk about Extreme Days because of Twitter x I I was thinking of this movie called Strange Days with um uh, who's it?
Is it Ray Fines, isn't it?
Yeah, at any rate, i've never seen that either, but it looks very weird.
I don't have my phone, but I think Extreme Days might have been pg13 or something and I was thinking, oh okay, why would they talk about?
I think I wasn't allowed to watch it or something because it was the parents guide or extreme.
There was like one off-color joke or something, but it was also like, let's get a bunch of kids and do a bunch of extreme sports right, wasn't that kind of the problem?
That was it.
Yeah, the whole.
It was just an excuse to have like footage of kids doing snowboarding.
I know it was like a montage, a sports montage loosely stitched together by a story of a grandfather road trip extreme sports.
It's rated pg.
I just see what the parents guide says.
I read a lot of here's what the here's what the parents guide says.
For violence and gore.
It's a rating of one mild, Jesse punches Brian.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Does that count as violence and gore?
Is that the only thing on the parents?
okay i'm i must be thinking of uh of a different i must be thinking of american beauty
american beauty sorry i just did a dentist network the kevin spacey the kevin spacey epic uh so i personally think that people will get used to the x pretty quick yeah it's kind of inoffensive it's just like x it's just a letter i mean who can be offended by that the average person doesn't care the average person doesn't care the only people that care like people will still call it twitter for years like Still call Big Lots pick and save.
And then I call like Ralph's.
I call it Alpha Beta.
Yeah, Alpha Beta, man.
You remember that?
I remember Alpha Beta.
I don't know if it was Ralph's that it turned into, but it turned into.
Well, Ralph's bought a lot of their locations.
It wasn't that they turned into business.
It's sort of news to me that Pick and Save and Big Lots are related.
I didn't realize that was a thing.
I just thought Pick and Save just.
Well, if you go back far enough, we're all related.
Thrifty.
We all come from the same two people.
Yeah, including Jig Lights and Pick and Save.
What is it?
Mitochondrial Adam?
Yes.
And Y chromosomal Eve, or is it the reverse?
I don't know.
I'm just saying yes.
That's what Fazarana said.
I still call Coke New Coke.
Remember New Coke?
Remember Clear Coke?
Was there Clear Coke or was there Pepsi?
It was Crystal Pepsi.
I still call Mountain Dew Surge.
I still call 21st Century Fox 20th Century Fox.
Do you guys remember Java?
No, is that right?
Java?
No.
I still call Apple Music iTunes.
I still call.
This is what the podcast is going to be from now on.
I still call it.
They still pick stuff up on their phones and reminiscing.
I still call the B podcast the B weekly.
I still call tracks.
Well, we did stop calling it the B Weekly for a while.
We couldn't figure out what the hell is going on.
Now it's just the B podcast.
We don't even know what it's going to look like.
I call albums C D's.
The Wee Beakly.
Have you checked out the new CD?
I don't do that.
I'll say that.
That's too far.
Hey, Barbie broke like $300 million in the box office.
Jeez, that just hurts me.
And Oppenheimer broke like $170 million, which I didn't think it would for being this long, boring, historical epic.
Well, I think Christopher Nolan has enough of a fan base.
But they're like film nerds.
I don't know.
But is it enough to break into the three-hour-long historical drama rated R. Apparently?
Because it made like $170 million.
It does look interesting.
I didn't realize it was.
I will not watch it until VidAngel.
Yeah, I heard that they added unnecessary Extreme Days content.
Although he was a womanizer.
Jesse Punches.
Well, I know, but you don't need to see.
I don't know what to do.
You don't need to know.
His brother Jonathan is influencing him, I guess.
All I need to see is the camera panning out to the window and the moon and the curtains and the breeze.
And then you hear someone going, I'm womanizing you.
You don't want to hear no sounds.
No sounds at all.
When I was a teenager, I was reading This Present Darkness in my head.
I knew I wanted to do film stuff, and I was writing the screenplay in my head.
And I was like, there's this part where a demon, I think, is like cursing profanities.
I was like, how do you do that in a movie without having profanities?
This present darkness is that we're going to be doing it.
This present darkness.
And I was thinking, you go to the exterior of the house, and then you hear muffled shouts.
And you hear, it's clearly angry and clearly, you know, violent speech.
And then you cut back inside.
That was my idea.
Well, there's a little thought of it.
There's ways to do that.
It's the same goal with throwing up in a movie or a TV show.
I hate it when they show it.
I don't want to see it.
You get the same content by having them go.
Yeah.
You just make the sound.
Oh, they threw up.
I am throwing up.
I am womanizing you and throwing up.
I am throwing up in the background.
So, Brandon, I still think we should make this present darkness as a movie.
I think it would be a great movie.
I think we're in that technologically where we could do it now on a volume studio.
I'll find my notes that I wrote when I was 15.
You know, Frank Peretti.
Let's get the thing.
We'll make it a B. We'll make it a B person.
You know, Frank Peretti, towards the end of his books, it always got to like three plot lines, and he would be switching so quickly between them.
Like, he was very much thinking in this cinematic way.
He was.
He would have to have one sentence about what's happening to this character, and then one sentence about what's happening to this character.
Technology's caught up.
How many of his books have been made into movies?
How many have The Oath?
And how many have Ralph Winter produced?
The Visitation.
There's like three or four.
I even think Scott Derrickson directed it.
His kids' series got turned into not the Cooper Kids.
The teen series he did, the Veridus.
I don't think I read that.
Veridus Project.
Okay.
So I think the Cooper Kids would be great.
The Cooper Kids was scary to me.
Me too.
In The Door of the Dragon's Throat, I just read it to my kids.
The one where the submersible imploded?
Yes, that one was scary too.
They're stuck on the bottom of the ocean.
They're like on the bottom of the ocean.
I don't remember, but it was.
I don't remember which book it was, but there was like some sort of valley and like some ghostly figures in the valley.
I think that was the scariest one.
I don't know.
The one that was on the island, right?
I don't remember.
The one with the one of the door of the dragon's throat was like we opened this door.
Revelation demons are like the whole world's gonna end.
And it's like all these people are dying.
It's a great, it's a great idea.
I would much rather watch a Cooper Kids adventure movie series than Barbie personally.
Than this presentation.
The funny thing is, I think Barbie did a fantastic job at hiding the ball.
Like their marketing department was brilliant in the sense that they didn't push all the wokeness in the trailers.
I watched a few of the trailers and I was like, hey, this actually might be fun.
I actually kind of want to see this.
And then the movie came out.
Yeah.
What's all the woke stuff in the movie?
I'm not really aware of anything.
It's highly anti-male.
Yeah.
It's very tranny-heavy.
Trans-heavy.
And I mean, the girls start out by destroying their baby dolls, these little girls.
It's like manual.
Who is this movie made for?
It's 2000.
They do a recreation of 2001 Space Odyssey at the very beginning.
Like, who's seen that?
What little girl?
The thing is, it's not.
They're taking to the TV show.
They did not make this for little girls.
I know.
But they know simultaneously that they're going to be taking their little girls to go see it and be indoctrinated from an early age.
I'm very sad about this.
Personally, to me, a parody of 2001 A Space Odyssey is just overdone.
Well, I think it was a really stupid idea.
No, I'm just saying it's like that's the scene that you're going to parody, the one that's been parodied a thousand times.
Well, it was written.
This was not written by very thoughtful people.
This was written by women.
Indoctrinated woke folks.
There's actually one dude.
But the weird part is, it's the same story that you get in every single one of these kind of female-driven stories now.
It's the Captain Marvel story, where you don't need men.
Women, the only thing they have to overcome is society's pressure on them.
They've always been perfect the way they are, and they just have to realize it.
But none of us have seen it.
None of us have seen it.
I'm going to drop a spoiler in a little bit.
So if you want to skip forward, now's the chance.
But how can you spoil this?
Don't see it.
Now's your chance to do it.
Don't see it.
Now's your chance to do it.
But apparently, like, so Barbie, the toy, lives in this matriarchal society, eventually ends up having to go to the real world and realizes the patriarchy is everywhere.
Ken ends up bringing the patriarchy back to Barbie World.
And everyone lives happily ever after.
And as they've been changed, as they've seen this patriarchal landscape, at the end of the movie, I believe Barbie goes back to the real world, which is kind of weird because, like, didn't they establish that at this point that it's a terrible place for a woman to be, but that's where she still chose to be.
That's kind of weird mixed messaging.
I haven't seen any of that taking over Barbie Land, right?
I believe so.
I think they overcome Ken and then take Barbie Land back.
That was the story that goes back to being a feminine utopia.
I am sad, though, because the trailers did look like a lot of fun.
And I'm sad that they can't just make fun movies when it's proven that fun movies with no woke agenda are doing exceedingly.
Oh, this one did really well.
Yeah, I mean, what do you think it's maybe?
I think it's because they Dunson and the Dragon didn't do extremely well, but it's very well received.
It's very solid, yeah.
Yeah, very well received.
The Mario movie did very well and very well received.
So I don't know.
I guess if you have an ideological I have this feeling that it's going to taper off over the next few weeks.
They were brilliant at the marketing for sure.
Totally.
I mean, I don't think it's because it's feminist and because it's woke that it's doing well.
I think it's because it's a highly successful property, Barbie.
It's just people of Barbie, so they're going to go see the movie, regardless.
A friend of mine, very conservative, she had been excited about this movie for weeks, posting about Barbie stuff, like getting all dressed up to go to the movie.
And then she came out of it and she's like, oh, oh boy, what have I done?
What have I done?
Yeah.
Well, I'm trying to think, like, I have no emotional attachment to Barbie because I didn't really play with Barbie's as a kid.
You didn't?
You didn't?
No.
I mean, like.
I also did not.
Did you play with any of you play with Barbies?
Oh, I never did.
No.
I never.
I mean, we did, like, at a friend's house with my two sisters, Barbie's.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, I guess technically, I have two daughters.
So I played with, yeah, I played with Barbie's.
Now they're girl.
But it was not like we have no emotional attachment to the brand.
No, yeah.
But I'm trying to think, like, something that's comparable for us, you know, like Detective Pikachu or something.
I'm like, Pokemon, Pikachu.
Heck yeah.
I'm in.
I went and saw it because I, you know, it was actually a pretty good movie.
And it was a pretty good movie.
I'm sort of past this now.
I didn't even go see Indiana Jones.
And I'm a massive Indiana Jones fan.
Okay, but not big enough of one.
But I'm saying that's a movie brand.
Like, think about a toy brand that you liked as a kid that would give you the emotional.
Crossfire the movie.
Transformers.
Crossfire the movie.
G.I. Joe.
Transmorphers.
Transformers.
I mean, that's another.
Gobots.
That's probably the closest analogy.
And that's also Mattel, right?
Gobots.
But there was a show, so I don't know if that.
I guess there were Barbie shows and stuff, too.
Teenage New Ninja Turtles.
Yeah.
That was one that I really actually played with.
The Transformers movie when that came out blew all kinds of box office records out of the water because it was, oh man, I remember Transformers.
Like, I love my Transformers.
And then you go.
So that's pretty much it.
It came out with a guy.
Similar thing, but for one.
They got Optimus Prime, the same guy.
So that was cool.
So I wrote this early Babylon B headline, and Adam Ford never published it.
And it was like unmarried, like newlywed Christian couple doesn't know what to do when the camera pans to the full moon.
And I liked this idea of the camera, and then they're just like, this is all we've ever seen.
I don't know what happens after that.
That was one of the jokes in the Barbie movie.
That was like one of the jokes in the Barbie movie from the trailer that I was like, this could actually be kind of witty and funny.
So Ken at one point says, hey, Barbie, you want to come over to my place later tonight?
She's like, sure, what are we going to do?
And he's like, I actually don't know.
I actually have no idea.
That's great.
No, the only time I remember that actually happening in a film was in Bruce Almighty.
Do you guys remember that?
Where that actually was the scene where it pans up to the moon?
But I don't think I've ever seen it in anything else.
It's funny that's a trope.
You're in charge of that.
I don't remember.
You can publish that headline.
That was true.
Wait a minute.
I can do whatever I want.
You can do what you want.
This is the Kylarchy now.
So Universal Studios trim trees that the striking writers and what is it now?
Writers and actors were using for shade.
And they were then fined $250 from the city of Los Angeles because they didn't have a permit.
$250 for shade.
You have to have some say that they were throwing shade at the protesters.
Now I get it.
I get why they're like thinking that they did this just to throw a bit of.
But at the same time, it's like maybe they were just trimming the trees.
Like, we were using those for shade.
You know, well, that's what trees are for, so I'm not sure.
Well, that's kind of the thing.
Maybe you have the right to protest, but you don't have a right to my shade.
To their shade, yeah.
Yeah, but according to the picture, these are trees like right on the street, so maybe they're city trees.
Maybe they're just responsible for that.
It does say the trim trees are LA City-managed street trees.
Right, and they're denying that it had anything to do with the protests.
It does seem like that would be a weirdly evil, sinister thing to do.
Like they all get together in their lair, like, here's what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna trim the trees.
I would totally do that.
You would be that petty.
I hate unions.
I hate union strikes.
I've been involved in one on accident, and it was actually by accident, is the correct way to say on accident.
So do we think the strike resolves anytime soon?
No, it doesn't.
Not that one.
Never, never.
Not English never changes.
Not that one.
Back to England, Jared.
And that, of course, is why the podcast is ending.
Because we don't, we're on strike.
Again, it's all about the same.
We are joining them in strike, and we have no shade.
Solidarity to Brad Pitt.
Solidarity and yeah, we need to stand with those really wealthy actors.
Like Ron Perlman.
I get all my life advice from Ron Perlman.
You don't?
Yeah.
Because you're saying it sarcastically.
No, I really do.
Seriously, he's such a font of wisdom.
Is he?
Your tone, though.
What do I not know about Ron Perlman that you are inferring right now?
Is he a total wacko liberal?
Oh, absolutely.
Is he really?
Is he not?
I did not know.
He's one of the ones that just tweets like orange man, bad.
Oh, all day.
Every other word is a profanity.
See, this is what I'm not on Twitter, so I don't know.
I just joined.
X.
This week.
X.
It's called X.
Yeah.
It's X Twitter.
Don't dead name it.
It's joking.
You did.
Now it's time for a segment I like to call Talking About Things.
Play that interim music too.
And Austin's talking about things.
Talking about things.
Hey, I have two questions for you.
How are you paying for your health care?
How's that working out for you?
If it's working perfectly, great.
Go grab a snack.
If not, then listen closely because I have a solution for you.
A biblical solution.
Samaritan Ministries.
Samaritan Ministries is a community of Christians paying one another's medical bills.
It's biblical, affordable healthcare sharing with no network restrictions.
Here's how it works: when a medical need arises, you choose the healthcare provider that's right for you and have a say in the treatment you receive, even if it's a natural approach or an alternative medical treatment.
Your medical bills are shared with fellow members, and your need is covered in prayer.
Healthcare sharing with Samaritan ministries may also be more affordable than what you're paying now.
And if it's the right fit, you can join anytime, even today.
Check it out at samaritanministries.org/slash the Babylon B. That's samaritanministries.org/slash the Babylon B.
This is a question I get asked a lot: What does the Bible say about Christians telling jokes?
Is it okay for Christians to laugh?
No, it's not okay for me.
Now it's time for our next segment.
That was great.
That was easy.
And yeah, it's an interesting topic.
I think a good starting place is: did people in the Bible ever use humor?
And no.
Next topic.
Yeah.
Now, I don't think this is the end-all to the question because obviously a lot of times people will defend being really savage and vicious by saying, Well, Jesus slammed the Pharisees.
I'm like, well, he was Jesus.
So just because Jesus did something doesn't necessarily mean it's appropriate for us to act in the same way.
Well, in all instances.
In all instances.
Yeah, right.
Or people will compare, like, they'll say, well.
He has authority that we don't have.
Right.
And the same thing with the prophets.
Like, if you look at the prophets and say, well, they absolutely, like, they beheaded people.
Yeah.
I can be mean in my sermon.
It's like, well, but you're not.
I can behead people in my service.
I can behead people too.
You can go stab all these prophets of Baal.
A descriptive text is not the same thing as a prescriptive text.
Yes, but I think the argument is that Jesus used this particular form of communication.
So that particular form of communication, satire in particular, is available to us to use as well.
And I think we use it imperfectly, but I think it's available to the Christian.
Well, okay, so because if Jesus used satire or if he used humor, then it means it's not inherently a sin.
Right.
It doesn't mean that we're going to always be able to use it with the same confidence and frequency that maybe he does because he knows that he's going to do it without sinning.
Or accuracy.
I think the danger with us using satire is that we become puffed up and we go, hey, I'm so clever.
You know, hey, look at me.
That's what I say every day.
And that's why your job is to be like.
No, you are not.
Not so much.
You are not.
Well, I think about like the danger, the way that satire can make your mind think when you write it too much is what C.S. Lewis writes about it at the end of The Abolition of Man, that the point of seeing through something is to see something through it.
If you see through everything, you see nothing.
Right.
So if we're, if we're, like, let's say I'm sitting in church and I'm like, heh, worship leader, wearing a dumb shirt, heh, good joke.
You know, and then it's like, ah, this song, so repetitive.
Sweet joke.
Like sermon.
Ah, look at this guy.
And then it's like at some, like, obviously there's a good-natured way to do that, right?
And be like, oh, it's funny.
He's got the V-neck on.
But then you, you, you, if you can satirize kind of that tradition that's built up around it and still say, but there's good there and still, and still experience that, then that's something good.
You've torn down a tradition of man in order to experience something better.
Sure.
But if you're just deconstructing everything constantly, then that's where it just becomes like, it's just an infinite, you know, you look in the mirror and it's like the infinite reflection of yourself forever.
Have you noticed that most of my church-related headlines are I post around 11 a.m. on Sundays?
I noticed that.
That's true.
You get them when you're there.
But do you remember the Pilgrim's Regress by C.S. Lewis?
Yeah, I never finished it.
I'm going to go back maybe this year and finish it.
There is a scene where they get trapped in a jail.
Spoilers.
It's very similar.
But everybody.
No, you don't need to read it.
They're like, look, a jail.
I'm like, oh, now I know what's going to happen.
The point is that everybody there can see all of everybody's innards and stuff.
So it is gross, but you can see through a person.
So it's reductive in the sense that you're reducing a person down to their parts and who they are.
And that's kind of the way, that's the danger, I think, with satirical thinking sometimes is that you remove the humanity.
You just look at people or you look at things or life as all these different.
Yeah, and you use it and you can see through it.
Right.
Like what you're saying, I think that's important.
I think as long as we see satire as one communicative tool in our tool.
One of many.
One of many.
Then you can be well balanced.
I think there can also be a point at which the joke comes at the expense of the point.
And so sometimes I think jokes are necessary in order to soften the blow of a very relevant point.
And sometimes the joke just gets away with it and maybe says something in a harsher way than we mean to just because it's funnier that way.
And I think that is something to potentially guard against.
Yeah, it's hard.
You got to be right on target, you know, and if you're not right on target, sometimes people are like, ooh, that came off a little.
And as humans, we will never always.
Many of the submissions we get are too are too harsh.
And also not funny.
And not funny.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, there's another danger, too, that we kind of, I think that sometimes we as comedians or you guys as comedians, we tend to think of things, well, right.
I would say, but we tend to think of ourselves as very clever a lot too.
It's a very prideful thing.
And then you can also, you sort of elevate yourself and sort of give yourself permission to be a jerk, where most of the time what it really is is just sort of this internal recalcitrant sort of rebel that you don't want to, you know, you just want to be a rebel.
Like there's like in every, I think in every comedian, I just read it recently.
Somebody said it.
There is a self-destructive tendency.
So like if you're in a room, you want to say the worst thing you can say.
Like get everybody mad at you.
Well, going back to like me making fun of the worship leader.
Like if I'm sitting there writing down a headline about how repetitive the music is, and there's an old lady next to me that's singing this song that maybe is a bad song and maybe it's maybe it is repetitive or whatever.
But she's honestly worshiping God even through how terrible the song is.
And I'm sitting there deconstructing it.
Which one of us isn't a more worshiping God in spirit and in truth in that moment?
I think Steve Lewis talks about that, like that he's sitting there like, these third-rate hymns.
And then he says he looks to the old person next to him and says, I'm not worthy to tie their shoes.
And I think there's a humility that has to come with them.
I think that was a headline you published once, actually, where the guys, like the snooty guy's like, I'm not singing for this song because it's so lame and he's just all he's like a hipster or something.
I forget what exactly the headline was.
This is a separate topic, but that is me with even just music quality.
Not inherently the quality of the music, but it's like I don't really connect with worship style music, like the guitar and the synth pad.
That's just not my kind of music.
And it's at those times that I'm like, but worship isn't about the music.
There are certain connections to different music that you might have different emotional connections to.
And certain, like for me, gospel music gets me in the spirit.
But what is the spirit?
Is it because of the music?
No, it's like I can be worshipful with anything.
And so that's kind of my own problem.
Well, the human heart is really suggestible.
And I think art has a tendency to wake things up in the human heart.
And we're all kind of drawn to different kinds of art.
And so I don't know.
I mean, I always think about that because the type of music we do now in worship is kind of not my favorite, you know?
But I still do it because I know people are going to worship to it.
Like I end up choosing songs every week that I don't like.
And it's because I know people are going to worship.
So we have to have this kind of authenticity and self-reflection.
If we're going to use the satire, we have to be able to be, you know, conscientious about it.
And I love that about Kyle.
I think he's really good at this.
Thank you.
I am very good at it.
And he's so humble.
And that's why I like him.
We're laughing because it's true.
It is true.
Self-reflection is so important if you're going to be the Babylonian.
Well, that's also a good principle to land on, too, is that I think satire has to start with yourself, that you have to be able to make fun of yourself.
And I think that's why the Babyloni had to start with, can we be Christians making fun of Christians in a good-natured way, in a way that's fun, in a way that resonates with Christians?
Because if you can't start there, you're never going to be able to grow to be able to make fun of the other side.
Because I think if you just start out, let's mock the left.
You're never going to be able to have that humility to land at a place where you have a good sense.
Because you can't have a good sense of humor if you don't have a good sense of humor about yourself.
I think Emma put up the couple different ultra-church goer, ultra, I think it's ultra-spiritual church goer criticizes worship songs while lesser Christians around him joyfully praise the Lord.
That's the one I was thinking about.
Yeah.
That's the one.
He's like, it's the guy from Napoleon Dynamite.
Yeah.
He's looking around.
Well, everyone else is enjoying Napoleon's dance or this monster thing or whatever seeing that one.
I actually, yeah, when there's people that are bad musicians or we're doing a song, I make an extra effort to actually really try to worship God in those moments.
Because you can't, I mean, you've got to like push past that and not be about the style.
And so much of it is, we've kind of changed topics a little bit, but like so much of it is like my own introverted nature.
Like I don't want people to see me like, I don't know, however I am.
I just remember like you're Chinese.
Yes, Chinese.
I don't want people to see that.
That's why I don't like being on camera.
But I mean, it's weird to say this, but like one of the most worshipful experiences, one of the best experiences I've had in worship was with the traditional guitar worship team.
And so that tells me it's not about the music.
It's about my attitude.
It's about my willingness to surrender and to not worry about what people think of me.
I think I pitched something about, it's not super funny, but something about introverts request individual worship booths so other people won't look at them or something like that.
Like a little curtained off section.
I don't know.
Yeah, the darkening of the lights is for all those introverts out there.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, I mean, but I think, so I think satire can also call the church to something higher.
Like we can say, why are we singing songs that are kind of mindless and repetitive?
But I think in the moment when I am in that moment, I need to be the one who's like, there's something to criticize here, but this isn't the time for criticizing this, you know, in particular.
I do think that, you know, we've written some, we've written satire about, you know, how repetitive the worship music is.
And Hill Song discovers controversial new fifth chord, you know, that kind of stuff where it's like making fun of how repetitive it is.
And I think there is something to be said for satire that calls the church to something greater.
I hate how lame and flat Christian art is.
And I think we need to call Christians to better stuff.
Well, I think not just quality, but the truth is good satire always holds up a moral standard.
So you're always comparing to a moral standard.
That's what good satire always is.
And so even the people that we know that are super dirty, they're holding, like, they're making fun of certain things because they're saying this isn't the way it should be.
I don't know if I would always say it's moral because, you know, there's obviously satire that's done because there's two types of satire.
And one of them is more of a soft, you know, just joking around type feel.
And I think there is still that standard thing.
But like you said, it's between how it is and how it should be.
It's kind of the gap that you're always.
It's not always a moral thing, but sometimes it's in it this way.
Yeah, I agree with you.
It's a standard, maybe not a moral one.
Maybe not always moral, sure.
Right, yeah, that makes sense.
Some examples in the Bible, Elijah making fun of the prophets of Baal, and he says, where's your God?
Is he on a journey?
Perhaps he's asleep.
Perhaps he's in the bathroom.
I mean, like, you talk about people that are like, oh, don't make fun of the culture.
Like, we need to be winsome and win them over.
And Elijah doesn't come out and write a 3,000-word blog post, top seven reasons that you should consider Christ or something.
Yeah.
Because in this context, they were basically having a challenge.
Will Baal set fire to your altar and our God will actually do it?
And he's very, very clearly just pointing out, he must be on the toilet.
I don't know where he is.
He wasn't even being satirical.
He was just like, I literally don't know where Baal is.
So it's quite possible he's on the toilet.
So what's the modern equivalent of someone that does just take people to task like that?
What's the apologist name from Apologia in Arizona?
Oh, yeah.
Durbin, like Jeff Durban.
Durbin.
Not Durbin, the other guy.
Like James White or James White.
James White.
Is James White, the one that just takes people?
Your God.
Your Arminian God is on the toilet.
You know, that is interesting.
I feel like we're constantly in this competition, though, in our culture right now.
So it's always in the public conversation, it's always about whose God is better.
And whether it's the God of the hedonists or it's Molech who has actually made a resurgence or Baal or whatever.
So I think it's a constant thing.
So the Babylon Bee functions a lot in this prophetic way.
So C.S. Lewis talks about how errors come in pairs to cultures.
You know what I mean?
Well, two by two onto the ark, right?
And then they were all errors.
He says how errors come in twos, and it's like, you know, you can have the error of being too soft, but you can also have the error of being too harsh, you know?
And it's like, what lies our culture of living?
I do think our culture, specifically like mainstream evangelical culture, swings towards the being too soft.
And that's why we need to emphasize this stuff.
And that's maybe what Babylon Beast called it.
But there are microcosms of church cultures like, you know, more hardcore Reformed churches or Bible churches that lean towards the harshness error.
And to them, I would say, you know, well, you're not, you're not Elijah.
So settle down.
This is the parable of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Yeah.
And this satire is just right.
Smart.
And I know they would classify it as tough love, but I mean, do everything in love.
The Bible does command us to do everything with love and compassion for others, even with hard truths.
Yeah.
Well, and that's the thing.
That's why you don't want to shy away from the hard truths because that is the compassionate viewpoint, the truth.
Right.
It's like, whose version of love are we talking about?
Well, we're talking about God's love.
And falling off the log in terms of loving is, or in terms of not loving, would be taking pleasure in the mockery of the person that you know is wrong.
You can mock people, but you can't enjoy.
Yeah, you have to be like, oh, I hate doing this.
And I do have to curve myself into the Schadenfreude of like the whole Biden crime family narrative just falling apart.
I mean, their narrative falling apart.
How I have to guard myself against gloating with an attitude of, see, we've been telling you guys this for years.
Like, it was so obvious to gloat over a drug-addicted hooker-addicted president's son.
Hunter Biden.
Yeah, I have to guard myself from gloating in that.
It's not a good feeling when I feel myself.
It feels kind of oily.
It feels like sin.
That's what it feels like.
Because it is.
Yeah, I know.
That's right.
Well, if it looks like sin, don't feel good.
It walks like sin.
Quacks like sin.
Must be a duck.
And Jarrett does a great job of, before we do shoots, of opening our shoots up in prayer.
And I've always tried to make an extra effort whenever if we're talking about like a political figure like Kamala Harris or Joe Biden, someone that we fervently disagree with, I think we need to be more diligent in praying for those leaders and saying, hey, we are skewering the ideas.
We don't want to attack the people inherently.
We are only attacking the people as far as their bad actions in order to bring light to the world and constantly simultaneously praying for their salvation.
Well, and humanizing them on one level too.
Not to cut you off.
I just think humanizing is really important.
Somebody said recently, because we make fun of Kamala a lot for her dumb speeches.
And for being a woman.
Well, anyway, I'm not going to go there.
But yeah, there's another, but there's a reason why she does this.
And a lot of it is the fear of saying something wrong.
Somebody said this recently.
They're so afraid of crossing a boundary or saying something offensive that they just say nothing.
And so that might be the real reason why she talks the way she does.
The passage of time.
Yeah, it may not be that she's an idiot.
It may be that she, you know, really.
So you look at her.
She's smart.
Right.
Like, we make fun of her for being an idiot.
But I take no fun in it.
That's not true.
I take no pleasure.
Because if you take pleasure in it.
Yeah, you know, one of my favorite episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee was with Obama.
He's not a comedian.
Correct.
is he in that show yeah and I it's pretty funny I'd love you know it's like I I disagree with Obama on probably everything.
I can't think of too much that we'd agree on, except traditional marriage.
Except when he was campaigning.
That's right.
But it was just, you know, seeing him as a normal person hanging out with the signs.
We weren't talking politics.
They were just talking, oh, this is what I get for lunch every day.
And blah, blah, blah.
And you're like, these are people, you know?
And I think there's something really good to that.
And so the other thing I wanted to mention was Lewis also talks about this.
Back to your comment about taking pleasure in when Hunter Biden does something wrong.
Lewis has a thing about how, have you ever read something in the paper about how bad, oh, Mrs. Jones, the affair, blah, blah, blah.
He's like, and then you hear that, oh, it wasn't as bad as the paper said, and you're disappointed.
Like, I really wanted it to be this salacious thing.
Like, we find that when we're writing satire about stuff, because you're looking in the headlines in the news, and it's like, it'll come out, oh, this thing might have happened.
And we're like, oh, let's write jokes.
And then someone's like, you know, one of the writers will come along and like, actually, I don't think that story was true.
You know, here's some.
Most of the time, and there's a disappointment.
Yeah.
Something like that.
All right, that would have been great.
And there's a disappointment that something is not as dark as you want it.
I wanted it to be worse.
And it's like that's a bad thing.
That quote is a fantastic quote.
Let's put that quote that we can't remember off the top of our heads on the screen right now.
So we do have that quote if we want to read it.
Let's have Jarrett read it.
C.S. Lewis voice.
All right, when we do it.
Suppose one reads a story.
No, I want us each take a turn reading in C.S. Lewis' accent.
We take turns each sentence.
Starting with the first one.
No, can I start last?
Yeah, you can start last.
No, what do you do?
You want to start last?
Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper.
Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true or not quite so bad as it was made out.
Is one's first feeling, thank God, even they aren't quite so bad as that?
Or is it a feeling of disappointment and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible?
If it is the second, then it is, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid the first step in a process which if follow to the end will make us into devil.
Is he chewing on marbles?
You see, one is beginning to wish.
Oh, wait.
Oh, no, you're right.
You see that one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker.
If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see gray as black and then to see white itself as black.
You're like cockney.
Finally, we shall insist on seeing everything, God and our friends and ourselves included, as bad and not be able to stop doing it.
We shall be fixed forever in a universe of pure hatred.
Oh, that's pretty powerful.
I like that C.S. Lewis arrived.
His moment of enlightenment was becoming an American.
That's how, yeah, that's how he was enlightened.
He went through a lot of phases.
He was a very lower class British person at one point.
Learn more about C.S. Lewis in The Pilgrim's Regress.
A Pilgrim's Regress, which is great.
It's actually a great book.
He hated it, by the way.
I'm not a huge fan of it.
That was his least favorite book.
The other Bible story I wanted to bring up was from the book of Isaiah.
I think it's like Isaiah 44.
He's mocking, and it's actually God doing the mocking because Isaiah is just relaying the word of God.
And we forget about this a lot of times when we read the prophets.
We're not reading the words of Isaiah or Jeremiah.
We're reading the words of God because thus says the word.
That's right.
It's not the same way that Paul wrote his letters or Peter wrote his letters where it's the words of Peter or the words of Paul being moved along by the Holy Spirit.
But it's actually God just saying, write this down.
At least that's my take on how when it says thus is the Lord.
Absolutely.
God is dictating something.
And he talks about, um, he talks about the idol carver who goes out into the woods and chops down a tree and he goes, oh, you idol carver.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
And he's like, you chop down the tree, you cut half of it down, and you burn it for wood, and you worship the other half.
And it, and the implication and kind of the way it's worded is like, how do you know that you didn't make a mistake and that you just burned your God and you're bowing down before firewood?
And I love this picture, the way that he puts that is like, think about that satirical contrast.
You know, you can almost form formulate that as a Babylon B headline.
You know, idol carver accidentally burns God.
And a guy going like, and, you know, you can talk about idol worship is bad, idol worship is bad, and it doesn't sink into the Israelites as it didn't for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years.
Yes.
But then you word it that way and they're like, oh yeah, I'm kind of an idiot.
I really that's the revelation.
Yeah.
So we'll continue this discussion in a future show.
And this is, by the way, this is kind of the format that we were thinking for future B podcast episodes.
Let us know what you think of something like that, an extended discussion on a book or topic.
That's kind of what we want.
A little more off-the-cuff free form than reading news headlines that you already know about.
All right, now it's time for bad Bible jokes.
Bad Bible jokes.
There's a lot of talk right now about the sound of freedom and the tears of human trafficking.
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Are the jokes written in the Bible?
Oh, you have them?
Oh, here we go.
It's a pop-up Bible in this popped out of it.
Okay.
Read them out.
Kyle.
Yes, Travis?
Who is the greatest financier in the Bible?
Who?
Noah.
He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Whoa.
Hey, Jared, I have a question.
Yeah.
What did God say after he created Adam?
What did he say?
I can do better than that.
And so he created woman.
I think that would have been funnier if they didn't have the last line.
Like, just say, I can do better than that.
Because I got the joke at that point.
You don't need to keep going.
That's like too many rough edges.
Need to smooth.
I can do better than that.
A dog or something?
I can do better than that.
And so he created woman because women are better than men.
Are more aerodynamic than men?
End of joke.
Please laugh.
Hey, Brandon.
Hey, what?
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's almost Christmas.
Oh, I know.
He said, it's Christmas Eve.
Hey, Kyle.
Yes, Travis.
How does Moses make his coffee?
He brews it.
He got it.
Hebrews.
Kyle has 50 points.
Jarrett.
We're trying to guess that.
Yes.
Who is the smartest man in the Bible?
Oh no.
Abraham, he knew a lot.
No one else knew him.
That's great.
I know one lot.
I don't know two lots.
It's just one.
Hey, Brandon.
Hey, what?
Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Hunter Biden.
Nebuchadnezzar, he was on grass for seven years.
That's great.
That's good.
Hey, Kyle.
Yes, Travis.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
Genesis 1-1.
In the big inning.
In the big inning.
Eve stole first.
Adam stole second.
Whoa.
My dad told hairs to this job.
My dad told that joke last weekend.
Why don't you steal first?
Why don't you stole?
Stole the apple first.
No, Eve's stole first base.
But Eve stole it first.
You can't steal first base.
That'd be amazing if you could.
Well, I guess you kind of can.
You can kind of stop.
You can.
Kind of, yes.
On a third strike, drop pitch.
Dropped pitch by the catcher.
You can run to first.
It's not really a steal because you're just taking first.
It's a third strike drops.
You're taking if you make it, you're not out.
Infield fly rule.
Yeah.
Let's talk about that for a minute.
Hey, Jarrett.
Yeah.
Why didn't Noah go fishing?
Noah.
He only had two worms.
I would not have seen that one.
That's good.
Hey, Brandon.
Hey.
On the ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows.
What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers.
He didn't even give me a chance.
Am I right?
Am I right?
Backhanded.
I know.
High five.
Hey, Kyle.
Yes, Travis.
What animal could Noah not trust?
What?
A cheetah.
I was going to say.
To catch a cheetah.
Because they're always lying.
And women are better than men.
End of joke.
Hey, Jarrett.
Yeah.
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Wait.
Wait, don't tell me.
I don't know.
Adam, because he was the first in the human race.
That's terrible.
That's so terrible.
Hey, Brandon.
Yes, Travis.
What's a missionary's favorite type of car?
Four.
I don't know.
A convertible.
Convert.
Convert.
Specifically a Mazda Miata.
Obviously.
All right, last one.
Yeah.
Kyle, this one's for you.
I'm ready.
You're ahead with 50 points.
So who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
I don't know, Travis.
Samson.
He brought the house down.
Yep, he did.
That's it.
Wah, wah, wah, wah.
Those are some great Bible jokes.
This has been another edition of Bad Bible Jokes.
Bad Bible jokes.
Here's Travis's Game Corner, maybe.
Travis's Game Corner.
I think the problem with Pokemon is that they ran out of ideas very quickly.
So we have a problem where the original monsters are at least mildly creative and they're, quote, cute.
But then it goes on and on until they're just making Pokemon out of literal garbage.
So like, here's a piece of trash.
Look, it's Trashimon or, you know, whatever they call him.
I don't remember all the names because there's hundreds and hundreds of Pokemon.
And then they keep making remakes of Pokemon.
So you have the Pokemon games, red, blue, and then, you know, turquoise and magenta or whatever.
And then gold and sapphire.
And then, you know, the colors out of space and the colors out of time.
All these different colors.
And then objects.
It's kind of like when Mac OS X started getting named.
So they went through like different cat versions.
And then out of nowhere, they're like, We ran out of cats.
OSX Yosemite.
And then, oh, OSX Ventura or Big Sir.
You know, different California places.
Anyway, my point is that many Pokemon are actually sinful because of the way that they just degrade down to trash.
They have mixed, they have traded the natural for the unnatural, and they've really just owned the embodiment of evil among themselves.
So it's kind of sad.
And so that leads me to Pokemon Scarlet Violet.
Pokemon Scarlet Violet is interesting because Scarlet is the color of blood or sin, and violet is the color of homosexuality and nothing else.
And also you ride a Pokemon as a mount, and that's very homoerotic and disgusting.
But your avatar, as it were, even though you can create, you know, you can customize them, you can choose male, female, whatever.
Ultimately, no matter what you do, they end up looking like a German Nazi.
So really, Pokemon Scarlet Violet is a sinful, homoerotic Nazi power trip.
And that's why we can't have nice things anymore.
This has been Travis's Game Corner.
Thank you, Travis.
Hey, Kyle.
Yes.
Do we have any well-performing articles from the last week?
I'm glad you asked because we do.
Banger of the week.
The first one, I mean, the only one is Trump indicted for murder of Tupac.
Banger of the week.
Banger of the week.
I like it too.
Nice and simple.
Yeah.
I wrote that one.
Did you?
Oh.
Oh, nice.
We're just going to have to.
Right after you're complaining that your headlines never get published.
I didn't write the headline.
I wrote the comma.
Oh, that makes sense.
That makes a lot of sense.
Now it's time for bomb of the week.
Bomb of the week.
Journalists call Amber Alerts a QA non-adjacent conspiracy.
Womp, womp.
Yeah.
Why do you think that bombed?
I don't know.
Too soon.
I don't know.
I think it's because people don't necessarily know the joke.
People were calling the sound of the QA non-adjacent conspiracy.
Yeah.
I like it, but yeah, it's too much of a leap, I think.
All right, now it's time for Love Mail.
Muchas gracias, mi amor.
Love Mail.
This is from LeonardTixay8046.
Exciting and new.
Leonard Nimoy.
Not to be confused, 8045, who hates us.
This is Love Mail.
I'm just super pleased if the Babylon be used a comma in the thumbnail.
It's where it belongs.
Like when people type let's go Brandon instead of let's go comma Brandon, the first instance applies that the speaker wants us all to go Brendan.
And that would be like going retard.
You never go full retard.
The second instance properly indicates, which they put a comma in the wrong spot here, which makes me laugh.
The second instance, comma, properly indicates that the recipient of the message is Brandon.
The speaker is spurring Brandon to go.
Go, Brandon, go.
We should respond back with, you put the comma in the wrong place.
Yeah, you put the comma in the wrong place here.
And Derry Downbeat replied, You are so right, comma Leonard.
I'm glad they put the comma there.
And now it's time for hate mail.
Hate mail.
You used to be good.
Adam Ford.
Adam Ford.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So we wrote an article: colleges announced they will offer gender studies course credits for people who sit through the Barbie movie.
Yeah.
If you needed any proof, the sad sacks over at the Babylon B are a bunch of out-of-touch senior citizens who hate joy.
I love how hate is in bold.
There it is.
As well.
That's from Kippy Bongun.
Kip Bongun.
Kip Bongun.
From the Wild West.
So when did they add formatting to X?
Like a month ago, a couple months ago.
We asked Elon about it in our interview.
Yeah, I remember that.
They were implementing that.
Did he ever do anything about the sarcastic?
No, I keep.
It'd be awesome if we'll ask him next time I hang out with him.
I know.
Seriously.
Next, one is from Dan Blackroyd.
That's a great name.
Pretty great name.
Y'all are so obsessed with trying to dunk on people you hate who aren't harming you, literally as punishment for just existing.
And as if that weren't pathetic enough, not a single person at the Babylon B is smart enough to actually do it in a way that's funny or clever.
I'm now thinking they're bold because Dan searched Twitter for Babylon B and hates.
Actually, that was me.
Hate.
Thanks for watching, everyone.
The very last ever B Weekly in its current form, but we'll have some more fun podcast content coming your way.
Thank you for being a supporter and a subscriber.
If you are, if you're not, you can subscribe, BabylonB.com/slash plans.
And we're going to jump into our subscriber-only lounge now.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
Skateboards don't have cuss words or nudity unless you put them on there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not inherently.
Skateboards do.
They're not inherently.
Skateboards don't have boobs.
So we could do that.
It was the one thing that let us be like cool without really being worldly, but kind of worldly.
Which is the best kind of worldly to get as close as possible.
This has been another edition of the Babylon B podcast from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon B, reminding you that peanut butter MMs are the official candy of the Babylon Bee Podcast.