Kyle, Brandon, Chandler, Kira Davis, Austin Robertson, and others all put on a show a month ago when they went to another country called Texas and hosted the podcast live before an audience of over 1,000 people! Today, on a very special The Babylon Bee Podcast, we are going to let you experience it for yourself! At Bee Live, the gang discussed Babylon Bee articles that ended up being prophecies that were quickly fulfilled, what it's like writing comedy and satire in an already insane world, and also wowed the audience with a special edition of Bee Radio LIVE with Austin Robertson! In addition to a glimpse at our live content, we are serving up some fresh new subscriber only content for you today. So even if you were at Bee Live you'll want to stick around for subscriber headlines, a classic article of the week, a special Sizzler Fact and some really gross stories that happened at Walmart! This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: Samaritan Ministries: http://SamaritanMinistries.org/TheBabylonBee My Patriot Supply(Save $200!): http://MyPatriotSupply.com Allegiance Gold (You Could Get $500 in FREE SILVER): https://AllegianceGold.com/Bee BetterHelp (Get 10% OFF!): http://BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee
Some of you know that about a month ago we went to a little country known as Texas and we hosted event called Be Live.
And at Be Live we recorded a live podcast and now you get the privilege of enjoying that podcast here.
Not live, but recorded.
So it's Be Live recorded, pre-recorded, Be Live.
And it was a great time.
We had a great time on stage doing some fulfilled prophecies.
We did a special live edition of Be Radio.
We talked about Christian and conservative comedy and how we write our Babylon Bee headlines.
We had a great time.
So we hope you enjoyed this special edition of Be Live.
If you're a Babylon Bee subscriber, stick around after the show.
And we have a special subscriber lounge where we're going to do the 10 questions with one of our staffers.
We have some subscriber headlines and we have a very special subscriber exclusive Sizzler Fact that you're not going to want to miss.
So check it out.
Please enjoy the first ever live Babylon Bee podcast right now.
But it's not live.
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That was never gonna.
It's not worth it!
It's not worth it!
If guns hadn't been invented, Lincoln would still be alive today.
You know, especially during the pandemic, it really showed us the value of face-to-face interaction where like we all think Zoom meetings suck.
We all hate the video chat.
Obviously, it's helpful for certain things.
You can talk to people across the country and see their face.
That's cool.
It's cool technology, but nothing replaces that sitting together and hanging out.
Yeah, obviously you have people as a black conservative, especially, who are going to be mean to you.
Conservatives, I think, are really afraid of being called names.
Sometimes we don't want to be uncomfortable.
But when it's people in your own community, it's super weird.
And they would call me the most horrible things.
Listen, you intolerant little bigger.
Just spell the word.
That's when I was like, you know, what am I being nice for?
I said overruled.
I'm Timpany.
She, her.
You know exactly what you did.
When it comes from the government, like, I can't trust anything they say because most of the government, the American Heart Association is, like, funded by Tyson.
So it's like eat eight servings of Tyson chicken nuggets a day.
A secret Hollywood Republican.
Oh, right.
The secret Hollywood Republican meeting.
It's an awful way to go.
I'm the peacemaker type.
I want everyone to get along.
And this stupid little website.
I just reached a boiling point several years ago where it's like, maybe people won't like me, but the Bible says people aren't going to really like you.
I don't know where we got to this place in society where we're like, we're not allowed to ever make anyone uncomfortable.
I was going to say something and then I forgot what I was going to say.
The Babylon Bees Podcast.
Love!
Move!
Where'd these people come from?
Those are some bright lights.
Wow.
We usually record our podcast in a little closet.
There's some people here watching us too.
A few, just a few.
Yeah.
Dude, thank you guys so much for coming out.
This is awesome.
This is the first ever.
This is an amazing country.
I freaking love America.
It's a different country.
Texas is a different country from where we're from.
Hey, we jumped on an international flight from LA and we landed here in Texas.
Yeah, it's good to be free.
We had to show our passports.
They almost turned us away.
Fortunately, they let us through.
Yeah.
I'm Kyle Men, the editor-in-chief of the Babylon Bee, and it's so exciting to be here with you guys.
My job at the Babylon Bee is to look at hundreds of terrible joke ideas and pick through the garbage and pick out a few good ones each and every day.
Who are you?
Well, thank you for asking, Kyle.
I'm Kira Davis, author of Drawing Lines, Why Conservatives Must Begin to Battle Fiercely in the Arena.
I said no my product page.
I'm Kira Davis.
I like to think of myself as the Tom Hanks of the Babylon Bee podcast.
And I am thrilled to be here.
Some of you may have seen me in a few sketches at the Bee.
And Tom Hanks played you in a biopic.
He did.
Is that right?
He got shafted at the Oscar sire, which I think is racism.
For those of you who don't know, Tom Hanks is a little-known actor from the Polar Express, a very popular, popular movie.
Well, I just want to say before we introduce the rest of our panel here that I have been on the Babylon Bee podcast from the start, and it has been an honor to see not just how much it has grown, but the community that it has gathered.
And I have really enjoyed talking to so many people tonight who have been with the Bee.
I'm proud to be a part of it.
Who are you?
My name is Brandon Toy.
Thank you.
My one fan.
I'm the director of video production at the Babylon Bee.
And thanks to all of you and so many other people, in the time I've been at the Bee, we've grown to over a million subscribers on YouTube.
And we're going further.
We're going millions more.
I know it.
I agree.
Speak that into existence, Holy Spirit.
Hey, there's someone else here.
Oh, hi.
I'm Chandler Juliet.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Hello, lovely Texan friends.
I'm an actress and a producer and sometimes a writer at the Babylon Bee on the California video team.
And it's the best job in the world.
100%.
Who would play you in your biopic?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Tom Hanks is already.
Yeah, Tom Hanks is taken.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Very sad.
Usually, if you guys watch the podcast, usually we have another host, Adam Yenser, one of our regular hosts.
Great stand-up comic.
He could skip out of my hand.
Yeah, go ahead.
He could not be here because he had a family trip to Finland planned.
So we took our international flight to Texas.
He chose his family over us.
Really sad.
But he did.
We do have a video from him from Finland, so let's take a look at that.
Take a watch.
Hey, everybody, it's Adam.
You probably noticed I'm not there this weekend.
I wish I could be, but I'm actually in Finland this week.
I'm on a trip that was rescheduled from two years ago due to the pandemic.
I know you guys in Texas don't know this, but there was this big pandemic everywhere else.
They shut things down.
There was vaccine mandates.
It was terrible.
Luckily, you guys didn't have to deal with that.
It's nice here in Finland, but it's nine degrees right now.
I walked out the door this morning and slipped on the ice like a transgender figure skater.
And tomorrow it's supposed to be eight degrees.
So if you could all please do me a favor, leave your gas stoves running all night tonight.
Hopefully it will create enough climate change that it warms up a little bit here by tomorrow.
Other than that, Finland's been beautiful.
I've seen reindeer and the northern lights.
And if you listen quietly at night, you can faintly hear Greta Thunberg whining next door in Sweden.
It's just a faint, how dare you, just drifting on the wind.
Beautiful.
And there are also Babylon B fans here.
I'm doing stand-up in Helsinki this weekend, and several Babylon B fans have responded that they're coming.
So it's cool to see how this platform is making a difference all over the world.
It's been a thrill working for them.
It's been a thrill writing headlines and co-hosting the podcast and acting in sketches.
No, not that one.
That's not me.
I wouldn't do that.
If George Santos can deny dressing in drag despite the photos, then so can I.
And thanks to all of you for supporting the Babylon Bee.
Hopefully I can be there the next time we do a Babylon Bee live.
I'd love to meet everyone in person.
Unless Jeremy Boring offers me $50 million to go to Dailywire in the meantime.
Bye, everybody.
Love, Adam.
Miss you.
Yeah.
We miss you, Adam.
We miss you, Adam.
So, one thing that we noticed when we started writing Babylon B headlines is the real difficulty wasn't coming up with funny ideas.
It was trying to come up with things that the Democrats hadn't already done in real life.
So that was the real challenge.
And we started to think that what they were like opening up our webpage every morning and that's a good idea.
Let's try that.
Let's do that.
That's so true.
That's news.
Why didn't we think of this before?
Exactly.
So, yeah, it's been a little bit of a challenge trying to stay ahead of real life at the Babylon Bee.
Yeah.
We write stuff, and literally, like a week later, a day later, it will come true if it hadn't already been done before.
We were trying to write a joke last week about Ash Wednesday.
Catholics, where you at?
Oh, we got some Catholics.
I didn't know if anyone would show up, but we were going to do a joke about an Ash Wednesday Instagram filter where you can just, you know, hold up your phone and you don't even have to go.
It's already been done.
The Church of England did it.
They did it last year.
So I was bummed and we had like, oh.
It's funny when you do it, but it's not funny when the Church of England does that.
Yeah, when they do it, it's heresy.
When we do it, it's a joke.
But yes, like, what are they?
Like, we're not writing satire, we're writing prophecies.
That's kind of how I feel.
Like predicting.
We're predicting things.
Do we have any kind of collection of our prophecies?
I mean, so many of them have come true.
It would be advantageous, I think, to us to have like we could write it down on paper and they'd be like a second sell it.
The book of prophecy.
What's going on?
Written 6,000 years ago.
Who is that?
In the beautiful tropical shores of the land of Nod.
We didn't plan this.
I keep hearing a faint buzzing in the background.
Why is he mic'd up?
How did this person get in?
How did this person get past security?
Security at a.
Is he coming towards us?
He doesn't even have a mask on.
Wow.
It's a white sir.
He has little antennas on.
Where are you?
We did not plan.
What is going on?
He has some kind of book.
You guys said nothing.
Has some kind of book with him, it looks like.
He's wearing jeans.
Thank you, sir.
What is it?
Is he all right?
I don't know.
He went to find some honey.
So, yeah, this appears to be the Babylon B book of prophecy.
Wow.
He prophesied it and he made it.
How many people get a book of prophecy?
How many people in this room have a book of prophecy?
How many of you guys ever saw a Babylon B headline?
on social media and thought even for a split second that it was real look at Chandler the Babylon it was before I worked I once I once thought a headline was real and it was my own headline Well, we're gonna look through this book, which has Babylon B headlines next to the prophetic fulfillment of the headline in the real news.
So let's let's, get started.
So the Babylon B wrote this headline April 23rd 2021.
Study finds anyone still wearing a mask at this point is probably just super ugly.
That's hilarious.
That's hilarious.
You guys probably don't even know, but people wore masks for a year or two.
There was a.
It was a thing.
It was a thing.
But, uh wow, just two years later, there was a real news headline, unattractive individuals wear masks more often than others.
Wow.
So I think we should all, we should all say together, uh, prophecy fulfilled, prophecy fulfilled and no offense to anybody in the audience who's wearing a mask right now, you're beautiful yeah, on the inside.
I mean, you're beautiful on the inside, goes you just the way you are.
They have great personalities yeah yeah, there's a lot of great personalities audience.
I met them earlier.
So here's another Babylon bee headline.
In may 2020, during the pandemic, several states issue orders requiring people to run around in giant hamster balls.
Crazy, that's crazy.
You know, that would actually be kind of fun.
I would enjoy that in like a bumper car style scenario, but maybe not like in everyday life.
That does sound fun.
Wasn't there a movie about that Bubble Boy?
Bubble Boy with Jake Gyllenhole with the weird bangs or?
Some of you might be old enough to remember the original Bubble Boy, John Travolta.
Yeah, where's my old heads in the audience?
Right, thank you, I see you.
I see you.
They look old.
Yeah, you knew the demographic, old people.
sorry uh so there's no way this was ever fulfilled this actually looks kind of close though in real life a year later the flaming lips i was at a band i guess flaming lips hosted a covet safe space bubble concert every person in a giant hamster ball unbelievable flaming lips more like flaming lips am i right
Don't encourage him, don't applaud for that.
We've been prepping for this show for months and he tries that joke every time.
Nobody laughs.
So thank you guys for that.
I'm just laughing at the thought of somebody buying the ticket to get in the giant hamster ball to see their favorite band.
Imagine that process all around.
Do you feel worthy to hold the book of prophecy?
Am I worthy to hold the book of prophecy okay?
Audience says okay.
Wait, we forgot to say prophecy fulfill.
Prophecy fulfills.
You have a black friend.
He's got a black friend.
How many people out there have a black friend?
I'm Kira.
Hi, Kira Michael.
You know, I have a black friend.
Oh, well, so do I.
Oh, look at that.
And how many of them, your black friend is me?
Okay.
Yeah, let's do this.
Oh, here.
Here is one Babylon B headline, which, being a resident of California, I found hilarious.
State with no electricity orders everyone to drive cars that run on electricity.
That's so funny.
It's so funny because no one would do that, right?
Deny you electricity and then demand that you drive a car that only runs on electricity.
No state where you can only get around in a car.
No one would do that.
No.
And our state is so well governed, too.
Oh, hang on.
We love it.
Hang on.
The book of prophecy says, actually.
In fact, a news story not long afterwards said Californians told not to charge electric cars days after gas car sales ban.
Cheers.
Wow.
Yeah, that was a true story.
Everybody said, prophecy fulfilled.
Did you all know that we were from California?
Yeah.
I tell people, you know, yeah, I'm from California when I'm here, and they say, bless your heart.
You're all so careful.
That's a nice thing to say.
That's a good thing, right?
Yeah, that's a good thing, I think.
Yeah.
Thank you, guys.
We're from California.
Thanks for being so welcoming and saying that to me.
I appreciate that.
And this is the stuff that we have to deal with.
Our governor who bans electricity and then has the nerve to tell us to drive electric vehicles.
All right, well, here's another Babylon B headline.
And this is actually one of my favorites.
Government Disinformation Board determines all criticism of government disinformation board to be disinformation.
And you see, it's funny because it would be so silly for the disinformation board to be so obvious as to tell people not to criticize them.
But not yet.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Headline, not long after, Majorca cites misinformation about Homeland Security's disinformation board.
Now, now you can say, fulfill.
Brandon, you want to take a stab at this?
Oh, I don't know.
It's Brandon worthy?
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
All right.
So on July 6th of 2021, the Babylon Bee wrote, to improve public perception, Kamala Harris taking likability lessons from Hillary Clinton.
That's so funny because she is at least like half a percentage point more likable.
Like the slightest bit, but I mean, as far as I know, Kamala hasn't murdered anyone.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Be careful.
Allegedly, allegedly.
This is being televised, right?
Just one month later, on August 5th, 2021.
We have no information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.
And one month later, on August 5th, 2021, White House asks Hillary staffers how to make Kamala more likable.
Did you all see this video where Kamala walks into a room and tells people that they can clap for her?
And no one does it?
You can clap.
How does this person exist?
Anyways, let's move.
All right.
She's the goddamn person.
Prophecy fulfilled.
All right, here we go.
So on January 9th, 2023, the Babylon Bee wrote, experts say they don't know what the thing is that's causing everyone to suddenly collapse, but it's definitely not that one thing.
Don't even think about it.
Hilarious.
It's literally so sad.
And just a solitary short month later, Bloomberg reports, something has been killing American young people in sharply rising numbers, but it's not vaccines.
It's not.
It's not that thing that you're all thinking.
It's definitely not the one thing that you're thinking that we can't say.
The burden of this book is becoming unbearable.
It really isn't.
I need to.
I'm not worthy.
Well, wait a minute, everybody.
Oh, prophecy fulfilled.
Am I worthy?
Pick this curve.
Okay.
We will find out.
If you kind of like burn up like that Nazi and Indiana Jones, then you were not worthy.
She chose poorly.
I think I'm okay so far.
I think you can do it.
I believe in you.
Girl power.
Thank you.
Okay.
On February 6th, 2023, Babylon Bee published a headline slash article that says, horrified Satan distances self from Grammys.
I guess he was a little embarrassed of the performance.
And two days later, a whopping two days later, the Church of Satan says Sam Smith and Kim Petrus' unholy performance was more meh than satanic.
And how bad do you have to be as a Satanist if your satanic performance just gets a meh from the Church of Satan?
It wasn't representative of, you know.
Sure.
Well, I mean, Satan is supposed to appear as like almost an angel of light, a beautiful being, something to tempt people.
And then on the other hand, you have Sam Smith.
So not exactly the most accurate representation.
Plus, Satan doesn't have a top hat.
He doesn't have a top hat, and he doesn't have cellulite.
I'm sorry.
I went there.
What we're saying is Sam Smith probably wears a mask.
Many masks.
Prophecy fulfilled.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So on February 12th, 2023, it's a recent one, Babylon Bee writes, Philadelphians preemptively burned the city down in preparation for winning or losing Super Bowl.
Either way, we're going to burn it down.
And on the same day, hours later.
What?
Hours later?
Moments later.
Moments later.
Rowdy Eagles fans flip parked car ahead of Super Bowl.
Oh, Philadelphia.
Prophecy fulfilled.
I mean, to be fair, that's a little bit of a gimme.
They're always burning down Philadelphia, you know?
Yeah, but have you been to Philadelphia?
Not recently.
It's no wonder.
I'm just saying.
Well, I'm so glad we have this book now.
I mean, now we have a place to keep all of our peeps.
And we can put this in the office in every time with prophecy.
What?
I told you not to read the book.
No, you didn't.
You literally brought it up onto the stage and handed it to us.
You literally handed it to me, dude.
Yeah, but well you guys You really messed that one up, Kyle.
I guess that was the book of prophecy, everybody.
Hey, guys, are you good?
Oh!
I'm here.
All right.
Took me out.
Okay, guys, are you having fun?
We've never done this in front of a live audience before, so this is going to be quite an experiment.
But we do have, yes, it's going to be a lot of fun.
It's time to welcome Kyle, Dan, Bettina, Brandon, and Austin Robertson for B-Radio Live.
Let's give it up.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Hey, I have two questions for you.
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Factually inaccurate.
Morally correct.
This is Babylon D Radio live.
Our top story.
Local man Herbert Patterson died of natural causes after waiting in his car more than 60 years for his wife to finish socializing at 2nd Avenue Baptist Church following a November 1956 service.
Sources confirmed on Tuesday.
Patterson reportedly got into the couple's 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air about 30 minutes after the close of service.
Oh, hang on.
I got this.
Right after being assured by his wife Betty that she would only be a moment, and then they could go get a hamburger at McDonald's on the way home for 15 cents.
But when minutes turned to years and years to decades, the man began to grow concerned.
Well, that's just better for you, you know.
Oh, said Patterson in a 2008 interview, as he continued to sit in the front seat of their car waiting for his wife.
Oh, by the way, don't tell me who won the Cold War.
I want to be surprised when I turn on the radio night to check the news.
Honey, come on, it's time to go.
Oh, no, the car sat too long.
The horn must have quit working.
Sally Patterson would never find out.
Sadly, Patterson would never find out who won the Cold War as he passed away peacefully in the driver's seat of the couple's now classic car.
His wife continuing to signal that she was just going to be one more minute talking with her friends in front of the church.
He went as he would have wanted to, waiting for grandma to be done milling about after church.
Said one of Patterson's grandchildren at the funeral, which Mrs. Patterson did not attend because she was still reportedly socializing for just one more minute after the church service that ended over 60 years ago.
in a move to make purchasing congress people easier congress voted to have congress people wear barcodes on their foreheads so lobbyists activists and corporations can simply scan them and self-check out
Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol building.
Once they've added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists, like those with Planned Parenthood, can pay right on their way out.
Purchasing congresspeople used to be a time-consuming, expensive process.
Now, our corporate owners can simply walk through Congress, scan all its Congresspeople that are for sale, and check out without having to interact with any annoying clerks or make any kind of small talk.
One major military-industrial complex lobby group, Americans for Bigger Bombs.
Wait, I got a bomb.
I got a bomb.
Hang on.
There we go.
Said they're also in support of the new move.
When you need to make a quick pit stop at our nation's legislative body to purchase a few Congresspeople to start a new war.
Or?
Hang on.
You need to do it fast.
Now you can just scan and go.
An attack on Iran can't wait while you wheel and deal, wine and dine, or in Nancy Pelosi's case, wine and wine and wine.
Oh, no, that's the wrong one.
Hang on.
As a reminder, Congress accepts payment in the form of U.S. currency, donations to Ukraine, or the Chinese payment app WePay.
He gave us permission.
He said we could do it.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Specifically requested.
Am I supposed to play something right now?
Oh, okay.
After moving to Texas, a quote, land flowing with milk and honey, entrepreneur Elon Musk unveiled his latest product, an all-new Tesla AR-15, said Musk, expertly taking on the local dialect.
You all want a Tesla AR-15?
You got it, partner.
The new firearm will look similar to a standard AR-15, but will actually be a battery-powered railgun capable of firing three million rounds per minute.
It will also feature a yeehaw and a fingerprint scanner.
Oh, shoot, I've got this.
Hang on.
Bluetooth capability.
That's what Bluetooth sounds like, okay?
Yes.
Heat-seeking ammunition.
And a chainsaw.
Oh.
and according to musk it's fully semi-automatic with a 30 magazine clip that we We really wanted to rethink self-defense.
This new firearm would be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens.
It's also a celebration of the Second Amendment.
If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to Skylink.
Oh, Skylink?
Yes.
It sounds like Bluetooth.
Sure.
And it will file a lawsuit for you.
A lawsuit typed up by cyber-controlled monkeys.
For their part, the federal government has requested that Tesla at least remove the AI-powered self-driving feature on the firearm.
A double-blind study conducted by angel scientists confirms that 100% of men would eat any fruit given to them by a naked woman.
Absolutely true.
You got something?
The lead researcher Gabriel says the study suggests the fall of Adam and Eve was unavoidable.
Our results were conclusive.
Of the 30,000 male test subjects we studied, we found literally 100%, 100% of them would happily accept and eat any piece of fruit handed to them by a woman in the nude.
Even in cases where it wasn't fruit or even edible.
Oh, yeah.
Why did I do this, Kyle?
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
I'm sorry, Brandon.
Go ahead.
Even in cases where it wasn't fruit or even edible, all the males gratefully accepted every single object offered and ate it with a dumb look on their faces.
Gabriel then motioned to a male test subject on the other side of the glass as he happily chewed on a rubber ball that had been handed to him.
See?
See what I mean?
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's not healthy.
Researchers say the results should serve to humble any man who thinks he would have made a different decision than Adam.
According to the science, and we have to follow the science, you would have likely done the exact same thing that Adam did.
You did.
You would have done it, Dave.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
Women around the world started to gloat upon hearing the news.
That is, until Gabriel revealed they also conducted a study showing that 100% of women can be tricked by talking snake.
Sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a special edition of B-Radio Live.
Special thanks to our wonderful panel, Brandon, Bettina, Dan, and Kyle's Laptop.
So long.
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All right, this is the final segment of our podcast.
And I know, it's sad.
Let me try that one more time.
This is the final segment.
There you go.
And we wanted to talk a little bit about what it's like to write comedy.
That's one of the most common questions we get.
Where do you get your ideas?
Good question.
Where do you come up with such funny jokes?
That's the most common question that we get.
And we thought it would be interesting to talk about.
It's kind of a revolutionary idea for like liberty-minded stuff, conservative stuff, Christian stuff.
Like, we're going to make content and we're going to make it good, you know?
And that's not, it doesn't tend to be the mantra for a lot of Christian content and a lot of conservative.
What I'm trying to say is Christian movies are bad, okay?
And we wanted to talk a little bit about like the Babylon B comes along and what, like, what makes it different?
What makes it something that's, I don't know, what makes comedy good?
You guys, talk amongst yourselves.
I mean, like, you're absolutely right that historically, a lot of conservative or Christian media has just been not that great.
And that's one of the main things that's propelled me.
Like, when I was a teenager, I used to watch some of the Christmas movies and I was like, I feel like I could do better than that someday, one of these days.
And that's what kind of propelled me into media and wanting to do this.
And it's been an absolute dream come true working for the Babylon Bee because I get to actually make something that I feel is making a difference.
And if you guys notice, right, like Brandon was just saying, when I was a kid, I was inspired.
I was watching these movies that had great messages, but if they weren't entertaining, they didn't feel professional.
They didn't feel polished.
Well, isn't that what's happening right now to mainstream entertainment?
Now they have become the evangelists, right?
They have become the right-wing nuttobs on the left.
And the media that they make, it feels like you're not even getting a good product anymore because the talent and the meaningfulness, the depth is getting sucked up by the message.
So it's message forward.
And then they're not paying attention to the things that really engage you, right?
Which are relationship, humor, things you can relate to.
Stories.
Yeah, well said.
You know, necessity breeds innovation.
And when we were talking about this, like, why is conservative media so bad or why has it been historically so bad?
I think there were a lot of Christian conservatives that were working in Hollywood when there were good stories being told.
And they just were like, oh, it doesn't matter as long as I'm part of good storytelling.
But now that that's kind of going away, there was a need for something like the Babylon Bee and a need for voices like this.
And that's what's so special about it.
Yeah, and that's all.
I mean, that's all, those are all good points.
I think, like, I, you know, I'm, I'm slamming on Christian movies, but it doesn't feel like that's necessarily the case anymore.
There has been kind of a tide, the tide has shifted a little bit, I think.
And now liberals are the one, the way that I look at it is that Christians used to be the crazy, you know, kind of right-wing fundamentalists.
Like, we're trying, we're making a movie, but the whole purpose of it isn't to entertain you.
It's to get you to the end where the atheist gets hit by a bus and gets what's coming.
Nothing get too specific.
No moving specific.
And then, you know, it asks you to text all your friends.
Girl, it's not that.
The whole purpose is to get you to the altar call at the end.
Right, right.
And you sense that people, audiences are smart and they sense that.
Well, that's what progressive media is, right?
And that's what we're doing.
They're trying to get you to the altar call.
It's at the end.
It's the progressive left.
It's the progressive religion of leftism.
It absolutely is.
And that, again, we have always said that one of the reasons why we're in the hole we're in now is because conservatives, particularly Christian conservatives, have retreated from the culture because we have found it distasteful.
And while I understand that, space abhors a vacuum.
And so what has happened?
Someone has come in to fill the space.
It's been the left.
And they get to tell the stories and they get to influence your kids and they get to make people laugh.
And there's nothing more powerful than laughter.
And so to speak to your point, Kyle, what's happening now is the tables have turned.
The progressives have left entertainment.
They've gotten so comfortable, they think they own it.
And now there's a vacuum there.
There's a vacuum of quality that has been left.
And so the right is stepping up to fill that void.
I think since the left has so much cultural power these days that it's just such, like, I'm a former B fan myself.
Well, I still am.
But I came before I worked for the B.
I was just a fan.
And part of the reason that it spoke to me so much was because in the world that we live in, this crazy world where people are saying that men can become women, where people are saying that you're evil if you oppose babies being murdered, in this crazy world, the B was just like a lighthouse in the midst, shining through the fog and actually being a voice of sanity, a voice of reason when everyone's telling you that your crazy for believing what you believe.
And so essentially, yeah, lost my train of thought.
That's where you drop your mic.
Much like Pete Ludig, I lost my train of thought.
Why are you encouraging?
Why are you encouraging them?
I also think comedy is such a powerful, powerful medium for that as well.
It really disarms people.
And it's kind of like an involuntary response a lot of the time.
Sometimes you laugh and you don't know why you did.
And if you can get someone to laugh before they're thinking, then that's where you can change minds, right?
If somebody's like, ah, that's, oh no, I'm not allowed to laugh at that.
Oh, no.
Wait, wait a second.
Then they'll maybe speak.
And this is what I love about the B audience.
Y'all aren't afraid to laugh at yourselves.
And I think that's what we're missing right now is like no one wants to laugh at themselves.
You look at the progressive left and they're so uptight.
They are the modern day Puritans.
They're so uptight.
They can never just laugh at themselves.
And like we did the black Republican sketch and it was, you know, it was sort of an inward sketch, but the audience was so receptive to it because it was just good natured gripping.
And if you can't laugh at your, I felt like kids this all the time.
Like if you want to, if you want to move forward in life and not be so sensitive and not feel like an outsider, learn to laugh at yourself.
You know, and the left will laugh with you, not at you.
And the left can't laugh at themselves right now.
They can't make fun of their own little principles.
And they end up with just these preaching movies like She-Hole, where you get like Captain Marvel instead of quality entertainment.
Right.
How many of you guys first found a Babylon Bee through like our church jokes early on?
Yeah, I recognize church culture in the bee humor.
You would watch, you know, I would watch a Hollywood movie or I'd read an onion joke about the church, you know, about church people or whatever.
And it was clear that the people who are writing this like have never set foot in a church in their lives.
Right.
They always got a picture of like a Catholic priest and it says like pastor or whatever of this Methodist church.
I'm like, this is not right.
You got the details wrong.
A good satire is that kind of you do have to have a respect for your subject, even if you disagree with it, I think.
You have to understand the subject that you're satirizing.
And we can't watch these Hollywood movies anymore where there's like the fuddy-duddy Christian, you know, and it's like, that doesn't ring true.
Because we know Christians love to laugh.
And that's why SNL, I think, has gone down in quality because they don't understand the subjects of satire anymore.
They don't understand it.
So it's hard.
Like, I think of, I think of, well, Key and Peale, they're a great comedy duo.
I love them.
And they used to have this Obama anger translator where, you know, I never found it funny, though, because I think that they grossly misunderstood Obama.
They projected their views of who Obama was onto what they thought he was, but he wasn't a guy at all.
And that guy is like just a really like buttoned up nerd.
He's not, he's not street culture.
He's not, you know what I mean?
And so, and he rarely, I've been in black church my whole life as a Christian.
You know, I recognize when somebody has been, and that's not that guy.
And the way I could never laugh at it because to me, it was clear that they fundamentally misunderstood who he was.
And when they make fun of Christians or conservatives, I'm willing to laugh at myself.
I just gave a whole great speech about how you should laugh at yourself.
But I'm willing to laugh at myself, but I want to see myself.
And I feel like I'm so misrepresented by places like SNL.
It's hard to laugh.
I don't think what you're doing is funny.
You clearly don't have any clue how I am.
You didn't laugh at the highly humorous SNL sketch where Kate McKinnon played Halloween after Hillary lost.
Right.
The funniest sketch of all time.
That sounds really funny, Brandon.
It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.
I guess that's the fine line between regular comedy and satire is it's mimicking and mocking and it's really close and you might not be able to tell the difference if it's done really well.
Satire has a certain respect for its subject, I think, in a way.
And Onion used to do that well.
That's what I said, but you said it smarter.
Usually how those.
So familiar.
I liked having Kara on the podcast every time we brought her on.
The only problem is we would get a bunch of emails.
Why doesn't she just host the podcast?
She is very good.
It's not good for my self-esteem.
But one of the, so going back to how we write Bat Olympia headlines, one of the ways that we do is like, we'll look at kind of, you know, you look at the Twitter feed, you see what the news is, you see what people are talking about.
A lot of times we're not saying anything new necessarily.
We're saying something that's already a talking point out there, already something that's there.
And like you're talking about how SNL doesn't ring true.
Comedy has to ring true.
It has to feel right.
You have to go, that is funny because it's true.
I have an example set up for you guys, I think.
We did this article.
Have you guys ever heard of the city called Austin?
Little place here, Texas.
So we wrote this headline recently, Texas Boats Theory.
I love that boat.
Because you can't do it, but if you could, we would.
It's Elon Musk's next big project.
A big airship, you know.
Figure something out.
Hey, y'all, we can't be looking to Elon Musk to save the world all by himself.
It's time for everybody to get on board, right?
All he has on God.
Very true.
Another thing that kind of when the vaccination started coming out and the vaccinations were going around, this is one that felt true to us.
Unvaccinated man feeling left out as all his vaccinated friends have COVID.
I remember that time.
Good job.
Good dunks.
Every once in a while, yeah, one of these headlines does well, but also like we feel like we could do a little bit more and take it a little further.
And this is where our video side comes in.
For a lot of you who don't know, we have a YouTube channel, and a lot of our content is actually, I mean, it's all Babylon Bee, but some of them are actual Babylon Bee headlines that are just begging to be made into videos.
Yeah, did you guys know that we make videos?
Okay, really quick, there are times where people light up when I say I work for the Babylon Bee.
They're like, so do you write the headlines?
I'm like, no, I'm on the video team.
They're like, make video?
Yeah.
Breaks my heart.
Breaks my heart.
So we have a YouTube channel, and we recently surpassed 1 million subscribers on YouTube.
Just throwing it out there.
Maybe you're one of them.
Just stay tuned, buddy.
Chandler's been awesome.
Chandler's been an awesome part of our video team.
And you guys have seen the California's Move Texas series.
He is wonderful.
Let's take a look.
Actually, we've got the video of the unvaccinated man sketch of Prime Dough.
Let's take a look at that.
My name is Chris Smitherson, and I'm unvaccinated.
Ever since Omicron hit, I've just felt so alone.
I feel so left out since all my vaccinated friends have COVID.
Every time I see my vaccinated friends all hanging out inside, wearing masks because they all have COVID, I really start to regret my decision not to get the jab.
Sometimes I fake a sneeze just to feel included.
But they can tell.
I've tried everything.
I licked doorknobs, I double-dipped guacamole, I even ate a golden corral.
But nothing worked.
No matter how hard I tried, I just can't get the Roma.
Since I can't be quarantined with my friends, I guess I just have to continue on with my life out here as if there's no pandemic at all.
This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.
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Therapy is one of the things that God uses to do that.
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That's betterhelp.
H-E-L-P dot com slash Babylon B. Did that ring true for everybody?
That sounds quite true to us.
Here's another headline we did that we think might ring true.
Texas constructs border wall to keep out unwanted refugees from California.
This is the theme that we landed on, that we wrote this article about, like Californians moving out of state and what are 10 things that they would have to get used to in other states.
And we decided we, the list, the list, it was kind of one of those listicle jokes like you see on BuzzFeed or whatever.
And it did so well that we're like, you know what?
Let's try to turn this into a video series.
So that turned into Californians Move to Texas.
How many of you guys have seen next year?
Chandler, what?
Oh, she's.
She's disappeared.
Maybe she got raptured and y'all are left.
Y'all, we didn't make the cut.
This is what we're talking about about trying to create good art.
And this is something that we kind of moved into a longer format.
Calibran's Move to Texas is a six-episode mini-series that we did.
We're talking about some plans for maybe what's going to happen this year if we're going to do anything more with it.
But that has been so fun.
And that's something that we want to do at the Babylon B is we want to move into longer form entertainment.
We want to change the culture.
And the only just like Tuttle Twins does with their cartoons, that's the only way that we're going to be able to really move forward in the culture war is by doing stuff like that.
We love YouTube shorts, we love the headlines, but we want to see what our creative minds can do when we put it to a longer form.
We're not defeated yet.
I know there's a lot of people who feel discouraged and feel like maybe that we have just been pushed over the edge and there's no going back.
And I don't really believe that.
And when I see people in this room and I've been out talking to y'all and socializing with y'all, I'm seeing people who are passionate, committed, and who get it.
And you know what?
If the people in this room get it, that means there's a million more, two million more, three million more out there.
America is not defeated, everybody.
It's so good days ahead.
Well, that's a great note to end on.
Brianna, do you want to introduce our video though?
Sure thing.
I mean, yeah, the response to California's move to Texas was so overwhelming.
We loved reading the comments and hearing from everyone.
And one of the most unpopular things we did, aside from certain jokes on Twitter, one of the most unpopular things we did with our own fans was we ended season one of California's Move to Texas.
Boo.
But bless your heart, Brandon.
Bless your heart.
However, Steve and Timpani are alive and well.
Roll the clip.
Hi, I'm Timpany.
And I'm Steve.
Steve.
I don't need your help to introduce me anymore.
I'm a man.
More importantly, I'm a Texan.
I pee standing up now.
Yeah, I know.
We're going to talk about that later.
Anyway, we just recently moved from California to Texas and we found a lot.
Like a lot of stuff is like really different over here.
So we thought we'd make a video to help those looking to make the move.
Yeah!
Y'all.
First off, everyone has a gun.
Gun.
But it's okay.
We're not going to shoot you.
We've all had gun safety training, so we know exactly what we're doing.
I haven't taken to shooting targets like Tiffany here.
She's a natural.
But I'm very, very safe.
He couldn't shoot you if he tried.
Can we edit that out?
Sure.
Next, the bugs are ginormous.
And just to be clear, this is not an actual Texas fly, but useful reference for their size.
Those things are big.
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b.
Another thing to remember is that Bless Your Heart may sound nice, but it's really nice.
But it's still important to sound nice when you say it.
Because of that first thing we explained.
Everybody has a gun.
Next is Whataburger.
Best burgers in Texas.
Only it's pronounced Whataburger.
No, no, no.
It's pronounced Whataburger.
Whataburger?
No, it's just phonetics.
You just look at it.
You look at the syllables and you sound it out.
What a burger.
What a burger.
Whatababer.
What a burger.
What a water burger.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
They'll know what you mean and they'll be nice about it, even if you're saying it wrong.
Because you have a gun.
Another thing to know is people don't really care about your preferred pronouns here.
It's really weird.
They just sort of like look at you and like can sort of tell what your pronouns are.
It's like they're mind readers or something.
Except in Austin, they're still.
You know.
Sense.
All right.
This one's pretty heavy.
You might have to make your own choices and take responsibility for your own actions without the government taking care of you.
And that's been the hardest thing for us to swallow.
So hard.
Along with the bugs.
The last thing to know about Texas is the best thing of all.
Babylon Bee Live is being held there this year.
It's just what it sounds like.
A live event for the Babylon Bee.
And we are very excited because now that we live in Texas.
We get a chat.
Hi, Stevens and Bee.
I cannot believe you guys are there.
I am so jelly.
I know.
Isn't this amazing?
Oh, and you know what?
I'm just so happy to be here.
Oh, hey, is Kyle Man there?
I really want to meet him because I love his goatee and all.
No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, hey!
Hey!
Steve, you know they don't say yee-haw all the time I don't get it.
Well, we are just super happy to be here right now, huh?
Yeah, we just have a few more things to learn about Texas.
Yes, yes.
And we know that we're in good company, and you guys can show us a few ropes, right?
I think you're right.
All right, y'all.
We got to take a break for intermission.
Why don't you meet us out in the front area and say howdy to us?
Babe, babe, they don't say howdy all the time either.
We really need your help, you guys.
Y'all come back now, you hear?
Well, that was a great time.
We hope you guys enjoyed that first ever live podcast from Be Live in Texas.
Thanks for watching.
Stay tuned if you're a subscriber.
We have bonus hate mail, a classic article of the week, subscriber headlines.
We have a special Sizzler fact.
And we have the best 10 questions of all time.
Here we go.
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Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
That beanie is not the flex you think.
That line actually has been stuck with me over the week.
So this is a response to our article.
It was 10 iconic milestones in women's history, and all of them were pictures of sandwiches.
Just the other day, Jordan was sitting in that seat right there.
And he said, man, Dan Coates has a strong grip and a great physique.
This has been another edition of the Babylon Bee Podcast from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that fake news of the people, by the people,