This week is more timeless since the Babylon Bee is out in Texas for Babylon Bee Live. The Babylon Bee asks, "Can Christians Meme?" They also talk to Kristen Waggoner from Alliance Defending Freedom about the 303 Creative case before the Supreme Court! In the subscribers-only podcast, the Bee gang go to the mailbag again to talk about what you, the listeners, want! Pray and give to ADF Legal: http://adflegal.org This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: PublicSq App on Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.publicsq.app&gl=US PublicSq App on Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/publicsq/id1573823343 Good Ranchers: https://www.goodranchers.com/ (Use Promo: BabylonBeef) Allegiance Gold: https://allegiancegold.com/bee/ (get a deal with our link!) Abide App: https://abide.com/ (Text 'Babylon' to 22433)
We go back to the mailbag and you guys are kind of weird.
Just like the moon from Majora's Mask, we shall consume.
Can Christians meme?
We talk to the experts.
Thus.
Kristen Wagner from ADF.
She's a person.
All this and more on the Babylon Bee Podcast.
The Babylon Bee.
Welcome everyone to the Babylon Bee podcast.
You nailed those soundings.
Best ones ever.
Sometimes when we're pressed for time, I don't look at the stingers until I sit at the chair and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm reading.
I'm pretty sure Travis wrote these.
We shall consume them.
We shall consume.
Excuse me.
So that's from Legend of Zelda.
I guess so.
But the voices from the alien sketch later today.
Oh, okay.
Although I don't think any of us are talking about Majora's Mask in the Consume segment.
All right.
Consume.
That makes sense.
I don't know if we have a Travis's Game Corner today, or maybe he would talk about Majora's Mask.
Can we get a Travis's Game Corner?
We should get a Travis's Game Corner.
We actually got some comments this week.
People were upset that there was no Travis's Game Corner in the last podcast.
Yeah, it's sad.
So it is really sad.
Travis's Game Corner.
You know, Majora's Mask, you are in great threat from a moon, which is going to consume the Earth in three days.
So you have three days to beat the game.
Not in real time, thankfully.
The game can be beaten way faster than 72 hours.
But you do have to kind of cycle back and through it in a time loop.
So it has a kind of groundhog day thing going on.
But what I really like about the moon is that it's got this, you know, this evil presence and it's foreboding.
And it's probably the darkest Zelda game, as it were.
Because most of them are, you know, light, cheery fields and everything.
Most of the time, it's not very depressing.
But this one, very foreboding.
But then they go out of their way to be like, okay, you know that moon that's going to kill you?
It also has the worst face in the world.
And it really makes me wonder what's going on with that moon.
I mean, it's got these giant eyeballs.
It's got this huge mouth with this creepy teeth grin thing.
And I mean, what is astronomy like in this alternate universe?
Because it's not Hyrule.
This is an alternate universe of Hyrule called Termina.
And most of the game takes place in Clock Tower or Clock Town, excuse me, which is divided into four sections because the system couldn't load how big this town is.
This is a major metropolis full of five people.
And there's this huge moon.
And you go on a rip roaring adventure to stop the moon by summoning four giants.
And it's all very flat earthish.
You know, it kind of makes me think of like the idea that the earth is a pancake and it's just turtles all the way down holding up this pancake.
So giants hold up the moon, which has a mouth and eyes and a nose.
What is it smelling out in space?
I have no idea.
And then of course, because Nintendo loves to do all sorts of like crossover type things, you get Majora's Mask in Animal Crossing, where people look just like you, Bucky.
They go around town.
They look like animals.
They don't talk like animals.
They talk like normal people.
But they wear shirts and stuff.
And then you can talk to people.
And then there's holidays and everything.
And Animal Crossing really kind of bothers me because it's fun.
And I like to play it and pretend I'm this real person inside an animal world.
You know, it's great when you don't have any friends because then you can write letters to the animals.
And guess what?
They will reply back.
And the animals are educated, they're smart, and they've read Pride and Prejudice.
So I kind of don't know what Jeff Zuckerberg's talking about with the metaverse because the metaverse has already been here and it's called Animal Crossing.
Now all Nintendo needs to do is expand that Animal Crossing town into a consistent network and then people will start jacking in to the Animal Crossing verse, which won't be good for humanity, but it will be adorable and much less creepy than Jeff Zuckerberg's Meta thing, which I still don't know how he's going to get that going.
Everyone wants to be having business meetings with Tom Nook.
They don't want business meetings with you as a CG avatar.
That's stupid.
You know what's great?
Tom Nook.
He's got business sense.
But the real thing that bothered me about Animal Crossing New Horizons was the distinct lack of adventure.
So Animal Crossing, I always feel like it needed to evolve.
The first game is kind of like this proof of concept.
Okay, sure.
The second game is like, okay, now we're getting somewhere.
Now we have hats.
We can wear hats, guys.
We can decorate our house even better.
This is good.
There's online capabilities.
Perfect.
But then there's city folk, and it's like, oh, it's the same game, but with a tiny city that you can go to.
And I'm like, this is dumb.
And then they're like, no, now it's a new leaf and you're the mayor.
And guess what?
I don't want to be the mayor.
I want to live in the Animal Crossing town.
But now New Horizons, you're on an uncharted island in the South Pacific.
Every climate is the same.
And since when do islands get snow?
I mean, I guess in Iceland or Greenland.
I don't know.
Animal Crossing's New Horizons is okay.
It's a further evolution of the basic idea.
But what they fail to evolve is the artificial intelligence for all the animal neighbors that you have.
Because I had a friend named Philbert, and he's a squirrel.
And he would just kind of say the same basic things every day.
And he loves cheese, which, I mean, who doesn't?
And that's how we really bonded.
But, you know, now with like things like chat GPT and, you know, whatever creepy things are out there, we can really make those animals come to life.
Why aren't they having like full-on behaviors?
I mean, I shouldn't be too harsh.
They do have behaviors.
You'll see them like, oh, I love collecting bugs.
So they'll go out collecting bugs.
But they don't have nine to five jobs.
They don't have disputes with their other friendly animal neighbors.
Every now and then you'll see them huffing around all angry, but they don't like ever try to, you know, slash the tires of the other guy's car.
You know, I want some real delinquency.
That way, there's a reason for a police force.
Animal Crossing Police Force, a new third-person shooter with cover-based mechanics coming this summer from Nintendo would be great.
That's what I want.
But more importantly, what we need is to maintain that sense of adventure, which brings us, of course, back to Zelda and why there's a moon with a face.
And I think that's entirely because their termina is in the animal crossing world where everything has a face.
Animals talk and wear pants.
And now the moon has a face and it can smell you from miles away.
you know, interstellar miles.
Come to think of it, the moon in Majora's Mask looks a lot like Joe Biden.
I mean, that nose.
He really wants to sniff your hair.
Kind of troublesome.
But there's also a great mechanic in Majora's Mask where you can transform into different species of animals.
Or not animals, races.
Because in fantasy worlds, black and white isn't a race.
Human and Goron is a race.
And then Zora is a race.
And the civil rights movement between Zora and Goron, it's a huge problem.
Are you recorders in this?
Yeah, I am.
It's for my diary.
So anyway, the Zora can swim.
Hey, you want to hear a stat that's unfortunately not satire?
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Well, guys, we are pre-recording this for the week of Be Live.
Well, actually, it is the week of Be Live.
We're not really pre-recording this.
We're like a day early.
These guys are in Texas right now, and I'm in Finland.
And you're in Finland.
Yeah, when it's coming out.
Yeah.
So we'll be setting up right now.
But anyway, we might not be like super timely on the news because we're not recording this at the usual time when we're trying to be right on top of it.
So we're doing a little more timeless topic.
As far as we know, Carter's still alive.
Carter could still be alive.
Biden could still be president.
And still alive.
The Earth has not been conquered by aliens yet, as far as we know.
But we've had some popular segments in the past where we did Candle Lib's meme and Can the Wright meme.
And now we're going to do Ken Christian's meme this week.
And I haven't seen these yet, but we have a bunch of Christian memes lined up.
The word on the street is that Christians can.
That actually Christians are pretty good at.
I've seen some pretty funny.
There's a lot of them.
Sometimes there's funny Jesus.
But Dan probably picked him and he doesn't do depictions of Jesus.
I see.
Or maybe he blacked out his face or something.
He's an iconoclast.
Never mind.
Well, we also hit the mailbag this week.
We're trying to catch up on our mailbag.
Please send us more at podcast at babylonbea.com so we can be even more behind on the mailbag.
Anything you want to ask us, feel free, hit us up with there, right there.
And we're also going to do a consume segment, what we've been reading, watching, and playing video games to the glory of God.
Hey, hit like, subscribe, and click the little bell to turn on notifications.
Keep with all our podcasts on YouTube.
And you go find our Babble 1B podcast page on Instagram and Facebook.
Can Christians meme?
Can Christians meme?
We know the left is bad at memes.
We know the right has had some cringy memes.
It was all in the previous episode.
And now it's time to see if Christians can meme.
We're going to see what we think.
I don't think any of us, have any of us looked at these yet?
I have not seen any of these.
I'm kind of nervous.
I haven't seen any of these.
Little butterflies in the world.
There's a lot of pressure.
There's a little pressure.
All right, so let's look at the first meme.
I don't even know what this is from.
This is from...
It's from the Old Testament.
No, the movie.
All the pictures.
That's from Ragnarok.
That'll throw Ragnarok when he's in disguise.
Yeah.
They're on the planet.
It's not really a planet.
Starlock or Starlight.
They're on Asgard, right?
Isn't this on the planet?
No, no, no.
They're on the Grand Master's planet.
I think all of this information is wrong.
Yeah, the Grand Master.
That's not going to make sense.
Okay, so how do you say that?
Zippora?
Zippora.
Zippora?
Zippora is Moses' first wife.
All right, so Zipporah says.
I like how you keep explaining the Bible part.
It's the Thor Ragnarok planet that we're not getting.
You just asked who Zipporah was.
That's all.
Thor is wearing a veil.
The cloak.
It's glowing.
Oh, his face is glowing.
I thought his face was glowing like when Moses came down, but no, it does say it's my veil.
Well, no, I think it is supposed to be glowing.
It's supposed to be glowing from beneath the floor.
It just came down from Sinai.
So she goes, what's with the, and Moses says, it's my veil.
It's my veil.
And she says, but I can still see the glory.
And then he like covers his face more.
And he says, not when I do this, you can't.
And then there is.
And the Bruce Banner is Joshua.
Yeah, Mark Ruffalo is Josh.
You know, it's kind of funny.
I don't even know if it worked.
I just know we destroyed it by our delivery of it.
It's kind of a funny retelling of the story, I guess.
I don't.
Yeah, if Moses actually said that, not when I do this, you can.
Okay.
C. I'll give it a C.
So here's the next one.
There's a little caricature of a woman saying, never ask a woman her age.
And a caricature of a man saying, a man his salary.
And then there's a group of people that says, a charismatic prophet, what they prophesied in the winter of 2019-2020.
And I guess, are those all charismatic prophets there?
It says 20 words.
It's like 20 words for 2020.
It's like a prophetic thumbnail of something.
Yeah.
Were they preaching a lot of end of the world stuff again or what?
They just always are.
If you look at the, this is a little niche, but if you ever follow any of the charismatic blogs, they put these out like every day.
It's almost like a horoscope.
It's always the words I declare over 2020.
2020 will be a year of change.
It either never comes true or it's just so vague, like a horoscope that there's no way to measure whether these prophecies come true or not.
Yeah, they do things like financial predictions too, like a lot.
Jesus is going to really love Sagittarius this year.
Jesus is.
Blessing out on cancer.
I'm that kind of cancer.
The number 47 is going to really be a good number this year.
It's a little heavy-handed.
I'm not a big fan of this meme, but not a huge thing.
All right, what do you think?
All right, so this one is that guy, Todd White.
I don't know if you guys know who he is.
He's the guy with all the dreadlocks.
Was he the guy that was lengthening people's legs?
I don't know.
I don't know about that.
I do know that.
I think it was him.
He would do healings, but what he would do is go up to people and say, like, one of your legs is an inch too short.
And he would pull it and show, I have miraculously.
Can he make both of my legs longer?
I'm not sure.
I don't know if Todd White did this.
I do know.
We should have him on the project blocks off.
We should.
Can you make both longer?
Can you make this one longer?
Nah, can you do the other one?
Yeah, just keep on going.
Yeah.
That's good.
Well, no, I do think Todd.
So Todd White, he's done a few things.
There was a documentary he did, I think, with Stephen Baldwin.
And they go around, they preach the gospel, and a lot of people got saved through it.
So, not to say that it's all bad, but he does say, The cross is a demonstration of your worth, is what he said.
Then Dwight Schroot from the office said, False.
The cross is a demonstration of your wickedness.
I do like that.
Both of these things are true.
I mean, like, if you think about it, both of these things are true.
I like this one both for the theology and for the Dwight Church.
False.
False.
I like that.
I like him being the fact-checker.
That'll start axiom.
I don't know the context.
I don't know.
I guess he actually said that.
All right, here's one.
We have Moses from the movie The Ten Commandments, I think.
And he says, Wandered in the desert 40 years, Moses.
And then we have a map that shows the distance from Cairo to Jerusalem.
And it says it's nine hours and 31 minutes.
And it would take six days to walk.
Well, nine hours, 31 minutes to drive, six days to walk.
So it took Moses to 40 years to cover the distance.
And then it says worst navigator ever.
I mean, it's not the best meme.
Yeah, is it trying to, I don't know what it's trying to say, but I've heard people say this in sermons before, where it's like they weren't.
It wasn't the point that they were banned in Israel.
Yeah.
It wasn't about.
It should have the context missing.
The Facebook fact check.
It's not about them getting lost context.
That's right.
All right.
Here's that philosopher raptor meme.
Velociraptor.
Velociraptor.
If the Bible is a light unto my path and the Bible is the sword of the spirit, is the Bible a lightsaber?
If the Bible is a lighthead.
Because it's a lightsaber.
It's both a lightsaber.
It's a sword that lights up the spirit.
And a sword.
It's kind of boomery.
This is good.
These are all like anti-charismatic memes.
This is something my grandma would probably email to me.
Yeah.
Is the Bible a lightsaber?
Okay, the next one is this.
It's that there's a meme.
There's a classic meme.
The guy looks kind of like a monkey with a pointy nose.
He's kind of the puppet guy.
He says, Charismatics, God will always, God's will is always to heal charismatics driving by a hospital.
Side eye.
It's okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Now we have SpongeBob.
Not all charismatics say that.
Anyway.
We have SpongeBob.
He's all.
It's kind of the, I don't know what the context of this SpongeBob image is, but he's like the soft, nice, soft, smiling, smiling, eager SpongeBob.
Christians when sharing the faith.
And then you have muscly SpongeBob.
Christians when arguing minor theology.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
I like that one.
I like that a lot.
Good one.
That's the best one so far, I think.
This one we have the sort of crying NPC character.
He says, please, don't you see how misogynistic your church and fellow believers are?
You don't deserve being an incubator.
I would treat you like a queen.
And then there's a princess girl with crosses behind her saying, I am not sleeping with you.
Yeah.
It's an interesting line.
I've never encountered, like, are there atheists that try to get Christian women by arguing with them?
I don't know what this is.
I don't know what this is trying to parody.
He's trying to be a feminist.
Okay.
So this is Andy.
What's his name?
Sandberg.
Andy Sandberg and Zoe Deschanel talking to each other.
This was a fun episode that did a Brooklyn 99. Crossover.
Both good shows.
So Andy said, yeah, I read the Bible.
So he says, okay, then name me four books.
And Andy says, John, that's on me.
I set the bar too low.
That's a good one.
I like this.
That is really fun.
It takes a second to hit.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
All right, we have kind of an edited version of a cyanide on happiness comic, and a guy says, Do you have any job qualifications?
And then the applicant says, No, you're hired.
And then there's a sign that says, Now hiring a youth pastor.
Okay, the reason why that's funny is because I got a young adults pastor job when I had zero quality.
Yeah, that's always they're just desperate.
Anybody with a face, that's right.
You're the youth pastor.
There's an explosion.
There's a crater.
We need to throw somebody who's nearest into the crater next.
Yes, yeah.
I feel like they just pick whoever at church is in their early 30s.
That's right.
Who's closest?
Who's old enough to be an authority figure, but young enough to relate to these to be kind of cool?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that is so relatable.
And it's so true.
Here's a picture of a guy falling down the stairs and into a ladder.
It's just me when I lean on my own understanding.
Like, that's whole.
Simple.
Simple, wholesome.
I kind of, that feels bad.
Okay, let's see.
Where are we?
Okay, there's a picture of an African man in the sky.
The key thing is there's a headline: Zimbabwe pastor gets arrested for selling $500 tickets to heaven.
And then the meme is responding to that, I think.
So the Zimbabwe pastor got arrested for selling $500 tickets to heaven.
And the Catholic Church.
The Catholic Church says, not bad kid.
This is all one.
Because I thought there was just one.
They used to think you could buy your way.
It's making fun of indulgence.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I didn't see that the second part was still the same meme.
Yeah, it's a little, it's formatted a little funny.
Yeah, it is.
Anyway, the Catholic Church was selling indulgences, one of the reasons why we are Protestants today.
That's okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's one.
There's a guy plugging his ears with an earplug, and it says, Jesus talking about self-denial, hell, righteousness, immortality, the narrow gate, putting God first, holiness, rejecting the world, and being rejected by the world.
Progressive Christians, and they're putting the earplug in their ears, and the earplug is labeled love.
So they're not listening to all of Jesus's other teachings because they've put the love.
I think it's a little heavy-handed.
I think I would have named the earplug something else.
I think it's heavy.
I think it has a point.
There is a point.
I often see this in political memes where I feel like you could do the reverse of just all the problems.
Where there are certain Christians and Calvinists who take all the strict rules and stuff, and then they kind of ignore them.
You could always.
That's true.
I've heard that said about those clafter jokes that Colbert does.
It's like, if you could just replace Republican for Democrats kind of stuff.
So I think it does make a point, but I think you kind of have to, you have to take both things into account.
No, you guys are wrong.
But it's also not love that they're putting in their ears.
It's willful ignorance.
It's an earplug.
And it's an earplug.
All right.
Who's this?
I think it's Adam's turn.
Adam's turn.
Here's a Lord of the Rings one.
You got, is that Frodo there?
Frodo's rowing.
Frodo's rowing the boat.
They can tell you what frame and time code this happens in which movie.
And it says, Faith, one is justified by grace alone through faith alone.
And there's Sam wading through the water saying, Works, of course, you are.
And I'm coming with you.
It's a complicated way to get the point across.
Well, I think it works better for me because I know exactly what's happening in the scene.
That's right.
And faith goes back and pulls works out of the resurrects works.
But I think you can't read into it.
I think if you were to deconstruct the whole thing, it wouldn't work.
It just doesn't work.
But it is fun.
It falls apart.
All right.
So this is.
Why do I keep getting these complicated ones?
Okay.
Catholics against seedless watermelons, seedless watermelons against Catholics.
It's two.
There's two Facebook groups.
Rival Facebook groups.
Oh, rival Facebook groups.
It's a community organization.
Catholics against seedless watermelons, seedless watermelons against Catholics.
I don't like memes like this because it feels like then someone wrote I don't know what to say and screen grabbed those, but clearly they're just trying to do a joke on it.
Someone already made that as a joke.
I can't believe this.
Yeah, it's like.
Yeah well, they were.
That's the point.
It's the old Simpsons McBain thing where he goes, that's a good thing, a joke.
Oh, this is one of my favorites, like a classic old one.
So we have the angel wrestling with Jacob and it says, and the angel said unto himself, I love this one.
And the angel said unto him, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.
But lo, he could not.
The angel was hitting him with his own hands.
Oh my gosh, that would make that classic.
Oh my gosh, that's so good.
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I love it.
Here's a sort of trendy looking girl uh, sitting out in the sun with her sunglasses, and it says, being yourself is the prettiest thing a person can be.
And then there's Ray Comfort saying blaspheming liar, thief and adulteress at heart.
Just be.
That works really well for me.
Blaspheming lie, smiling face I know inspirational, that's the way he says it too.
He always says it, blaspheming.
I'm not judging you, but you're a blaspheming lot, an adulterate heart, adulterate.
You should have done that one because you didn't do the voice.
No no no no, it's good, it's anyway.
We got another one.
It's Zach Uh Efron, and he's kind of got his hands up like he's a cool guy man.
You were with Jesus Peter drugging and smiling.
Yeah, shrugging and smiling.
i like that a lot all right here's a new one here's a good one Simple it to the point.
That took me a second.
Says you might think Sinning is good, but and then there's a picture of Sinbad Sinbad and he's looking at you.
Real yeah, that is great oh, that's good.
I don't know this movie.
What is this Megamind?
Yeah oh, I never saw that.
Uh, I don't know anything about this meme.
It says Steven Furdick I don't know who that is.
Oh, you're a heretic, all right, just not a super one.
Then it says Rob Bell oh yeah, what's the difference?
And then there's Megamind saying, or Steve Furdick saying presentation, presentation.
I don't understand any of these references.
I don't get the.
I feel like in a I generated this meme, just slapped random labels on things.
That's funny okay um, this is that dumb looking kid okay, buys a herd of pigs like Bad Luck.
So yeah, the bad luck guy buys a herd of pigs.
Jesus Cast Tevy.
i need a chance i need to get my braces tag look at this guys All right, here's a badly drawn MS paint art of Sonic the Hedgehog, and he's holding up a Bible, King James Version.
It says Sonic the Saved.
I don't get this at all.
Oh, wait, there's more to it.
Oh, there's more.
Okay, so now we have another bad fan art of Sonic holding the Bible and he's smiling and putting his fist up, and it says, Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?
Do not be deceived.
Neither sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
I don't know if this person was trying to be funny.
Perhaps you can read that.
I just think it's not a sequitur.
It's just funny because it's sort of like a non-sequitur.
I like the really positive Sonic and then men who practice homosexual.
That's like all the judging all the people that won't make it.
I like the idea that some Sonic fan was trying to make a really serious meme here to make a point, and it works for me.
Here's a minion, and it says the first ever cordless phone was created by God.
He named it prayer.
It never loses its signal, and you never have to recharge it.
Use it anyway.
We're getting into the boomer memes now.
These are like your grandmother would say.
This is definitely on a pillow.
Oh, and then hold on.
Here's another minion correcting him, I guess, or something.
It says, God has no phone, but I talk to him.
He has no Facebook, but he's still my friend.
He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him.
Yeah, that's a very wholesome grandma meme.
Yeah.
I like it.
On a pillow.
Okay, here we go.
It's the happy guy, sad guy, happy guy, shocked guy face.
Sam Smith, openly gay, sings a song named Unholy, which glorifies infidelity with a transgender woman.
Very happy about that.
Happy about it.
That's great.
Dressed as the devil.
Oh.
Okay.
I don't know.
Yeah, because they're making the point that people are more upset that he dressed like the devil thank most people were shocked, don't like both things.
Yeah, I would say I read this differently.
I think what he's trying to say is like, yeah, he's promoting all this stuff, but he's doing it as the devil.
So it's like it's kind of self-defeating and that he's being the devil going, oh, this stuff is great.
And you're like, yeah, but he's the dumb.
I think you're giving these people too much credit there, Kyle.
It's 4D chess.
It's 4D meme chess is what it is.
Yeah, it's kind of unclear.
Okay, so now we have Cal...
We have the woman that has the...
The what?
Yeah.
It says, Calvinist hearing joy to the world be like, the what?
You know, joy to the world.
Is that because Calvinists don't have any joy?
No, they hate the world.
Oh, they hate the world and enjoy it.
No, they think that because it's like if it's joy to the elect, right, instead of joy to the world.
That's the joke.
That's true.
Got it.
Here's one.
It's what's his name again?
Thanos.
And he says, Steven Anderson, did you bring your Bible to church?
And Iron Man responds, yep, it's an ESV Bible.
And then I can't see what's happening.
Oh, it's Thanos punching Iron Man.
So something.
Steven Anderson is the crazy King James Version.
We'll have to review some of his clips sometimes.
It's really great.
If it ain't King James Vernon, there's a phrase in the Old Testament that says, him who pisseth against the wall.
Oh, I know.
Have you seen that clip?
I know that passage.
Oh, so he preaches on it and he does this long and he's pounding the pulpit about the problem with our society today is men don't pisseth against the wall anymore.
You all sit down when you pee.
I like that.
He makes a big application out of it.
But I mean, isn't the British word for piss kind of getting drunk?
Well, it's, I don't know.
Because it's changed over time.
I know, but you don't change the King James, guys.
No, but I mean, back in the King James version.
You think that it was pissed back then?
I think when King James' Bible was written, pisseth meant like urinate.
And I think the pissed now as drunk is probably more modern slang.
I'm getting pissed.
And they would say, when you drink a lot, you have to take it.
Say you're taking the piss when you're making fun of me.
Now, as far as our pisseth onto taking the pisseth, like, like, would I be allowed to say I'm going to go take a piss?
Yeah, I don't want to say that more often now on the podcast.
Yeah, what are the words we can get away with?
I need we should come up with a list.
A list.
Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat?
He got pissed off.
Okay, here's another meme.
It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
Says, makes memes poking fun at both Calvinists and Arminians.
I'm playing both sides so that I always come out on top.
It's a good Lutheran.
Chuckle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So now we have a bunch of people worshiping the Sunday lunch crowd 30 minutes before verbally assaulting an 18-year-old waitress.
That's great.
That's funny.
Sorry, I have a story that I kind of want to tell about.
Yeah, no, I want to hear it.
That's that.
I'll tell it later.
Okay.
Stay tuned.
Maybe not on the podcast, is all you're saying.
So I was at Bell's Dieter the one time in Sherburne.
I go there a lot.
And I saw Dennis Prager there.
This was before we talked to him or met him.
And I was kind of fanning.
I wanted to go up and say hi to him.
But he was outside.
I was inside.
And then when I went up to pay at the counter, there was this old guy just laying into the cashier about how his waitress wasn't good.
And he was arguing over price and just being really rude to her.
And I was like, come on, man.
They're doing their best.
And I was kind of on the cashier's side when I overheard this and he was taking up time.
And so then that guy was kind of mad at me.
And then I went back and sat down.
I saw it was the friend that was sitting with Dennis Prager.
And I was like, oh, now I can't go say hi to them.
Your friend's a jerk.
Yeah.
So here's, it's got a sort of gravity well drawing of different stars.
It says the sun, neutron star, black hole, the crushing weight of being the only person on the whole internet with correct theology.
It's heaviest objects in the universe.
That's pretty good.
I like that.
Contribute to your salvation.
It's a man reading a book, and then it flips.
Oh, how to.
How to contribute to your salvation.
It opens up, and you can see that there's nothing.
There's nothing in the book.
And then he cries.
And he cries.
Oh, sad.
He must be in our minion.
Here we have a crusader in a clock where all 12 of the time marks are marked crusade.
And it says, good heavens, just look at the time.
Okay.
I mean, that's random, but I kind of like it.
I feel like this is something you would post in response.
Like if somebody said, at this drag queen story hour, this dude gyrated in front of these children, then you wouldn't have a response meme.
That's right.
Here's a Mandalorian meme.
You got the stormtroopers there.
It says, Baal prophets, we have you 450 to 1.
And then Elijah's the Mandalorium.
I like those odds.
I like those odds.
When Calvinists try to be encouraging, it's Woody with Spoony.
What's his name?
Spoony?
Is that his name?
What is his name?
Sporky.
Yeah.
When he's like, I'm trash.
And so what he's trying to, Calvinists trying to be encouraging.
You're trash.
Just like me.
That's good.
You are trash.
That's what it is.
All right.
Here's one with this strong Doge guy.
I think that's Doge.
Is that Doge?
Not Doge.
It's like Shiba Inu.
Yeah.
And the strong Shiba.
And he says, traditional worship.
Riches I heed not, nor vain empty praise.
Thou mine inheritance now and always.
Thou when though only first in my heart.
High king of heaven, my treasure.
Be thou my vision.
It's a be thou my vision verse.
And then it says modern hypno chant rock.
And it's a little kind of cowed.
Shibu.
It says, give me smooches, daddy God, times 100,000.
Solid.
Here we've got a Spider-Man meme.
You got Toby Maguire, I'm a Christian.
And then he responds, but Peter, Christianity is responsible for the Crusades and colonization.
And Toby says, I just told you that I'm already a Christian.
You don't need to sell it to me.
I actually like that.
That's funny.
That doesn't seem like it was made by a Christian.
People in sin be like, it's like the two of the Sojack guys.
Oh, they're so excited.
People in sin be like, show me where it's a sin.
They're pointing at obviously a sin.
All right.
It's right there.
Now we have a picture of clown shoes, and it says, before you mock an atheist, try putting yourself in their shoes.
I tried not to laugh at that because it's just the clapture one.
So on the nose.
Because it is funny.
That's a great one.
This is a really good one.
So it's the guy looking back at the other girl from his girlfriend meme, and then his girlfriend is Lot.
Well, he's the pillar of salt as Lot looking back at Sodom.
Yeah, it doesn't have the guy in it.
It's just a pillar of salt.
So it's Lot's wife is the guy, right?
And she's looking.
Oh, that is great.
All right.
It's a couple of people at a funeral.
The guy given the peace sign at the funeral.
Lazarus at his own funeral.
Colorized.
Here lies Lazarus of Bethany.
Peace.
Oh, this one looks confusing.
Who started your church?
Catholic Church, Constantine.
Anglican Church, King Arthur, Lutheran Church, Martin Luther.
Evangelical, just a Christian.
Jesus, 0 AD.
There you go.
It actually also has.
Meme made by Evangelical Gang.
But the Anglican Church was started by Henry VIII, not by King Arthur.
That says King Arthur.
Yeah.
Why does it say the Lutheran Church?
It says 1929.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Oh, the Lutheran Church is starting.
It's just all false.
Are they making wrong?
I guess they're all wrong.
Okay.
I don't know.
That's true.
That's weird.
I think it's you.
Isn't that you?
That's my turn.
Yeah.
So these are just two fat mannequins wearing sort of, I don't know, dad clothes like polo shirts.
And it says brand new Baptist potluck attire section added to JC Pepper.
You see those at church at all.
Yeah.
Oh, this.
What is that?
That's McGee and me, isn't it?
Okay, so McGee and me, Salty in the singing songbook.
That other one is Adventures and Odyssey.
And then what's the last one?
I think that Superbook.
And Superbook, which is pretty cool.
I may be wrong on that.
It's one of those Bible cartoons where they go back to Bible time.
Yeah, so it's a bunch of Bible cartoons, and then it says the boring testimony starter pack.
That's funny because we all grew up with that and we all have boring testimonies.
Yeah.
Except that we were raised from the dead.
All right.
Jesus, come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
And then it says, me on my way to church, and it's a guy with a giant Jan Sport backpack.
That's pretty funny.
That's funny.
I feel that way.
Here's one.
It's a small group leader asks question, me who wasn't paying attention coming up with an answer.
And it just files where all the answers are either Jesus, God, or John 3.16.
Fingers going through it.
Let's see here.
Let's see.
Okay, girls, it's a picture of Adam and Eve.
Eve is reaching up, grabbing the fruit, and about to give it to Adam.
Girls, girls have a hard time choosing where to eat because the last time they chose, they doomed all of humanity.
Really solid.
I've seen it a lot, though.
That's the only reason I don't laugh.
That's not too bad.
I like that painting too because the serpent is like the devil.
Morphing into the devil.
It kind of makes me want to listen to him.
I'm kidding.
Looks like he might have something important to say.
He's going to eat this.
Yes, naked woman.
I will eat that.
Well, I think the Christians did pretty well.
Yeah, overall, I'd say that was like 50%, maybe.
I would say over 50.
I laughed at a good bit of those.
Good job, Christians.
Christians can meme.
Yay.
Can Christians meme?
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It's time to consume.
What have you guys been reading lately, playing, watching?
I feel like we haven't revisited Consume in a few weeks.
Consume.
I've been just chugging books, man.
Can you chug them?
You've been drinking books?
I've been drinking that.
I'm doing a lot of audio books, so it's helped me to...
Yeah, that does help.
Like if you go work out or even take so long for me to get through a book just reading it, I'm a slow reader.
I feel like I can read as quickly, but I just don't have a time.
I sit down and I fall asleep.
No, that's what it is.
I mean, it takes time.
So when I'm driving for an hour, I can listen to a book, but it's hard to find an hour of time to sit and read a book.
Absolutely.
I always think it's so much easier.
You can listen at a much higher reading level, too, than you can read.
I don't know, they tell you.
So you can listen to whatever.
Last time we did this, I read the Duggar's new book, the Duggar girl's new book.
It's called Becoming Free Indeed.
It's kind of about her journey out of that legalistic Bill Gothardism, which is really interesting.
And it was good.
It was a quick read and enjoyed it.
And then I read Project Hail Mary, the third book from the guy who wrote The Martian.
Oh, Weir?
Andy Weir.
Andy Weir.
Yeah.
Did you guys read any of those, The Martian?
I didn't read those.
I haven't read Weir.
I'm a huge science fiction fan.
You'd like it.
I think you'd like The Martian.
And I heard his second book wasn't as good, but I never read it.
I'd love to read it.
I read a bunch of, you know, John Varley and Heinlein and all the old, like, all the old science fiction.
I really like old science fiction.
He's a little too, I call it like the F yeah science crowd.
Right.
They're like, science can solve all our problems.
Yes.
Science.
And it's just like, eh.
I just science the crap out of that.
Yeah, I science them.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But I thought it was, it was enjoyable.
So I read that one.
Then I read The Republic, Plato's The Republic.
Oh.
Which I'd never read before.
I was inspired by you.
Really good.
I went and read it.
I've really enjoyed it.
A lot of great nuggets in there.
And then some weird stuff.
Well, what's interesting about, so I'm now just finishing The Laws.
I listened to, I think, all of his other dialogues on audiobook this past month.
And so I read The Republic, and now I'm finishing reading The Laws.
And The Laws is interesting because It's a later piece than The Republic.
And in The Republic, where he talks about this sort of society run by these enlightened philosophers, Philosopher King, The Laws is, it's like a some people see it as being in conflict, but it's kind of just a companion piece where it's more how a society would be more practically run just by a solid set of laws.
But there are always those nuggets that are good.
You know, he has this great foundation of education and how it can, you know, bring up good members of society.
But then he's he's down on democracy.
He's not a big fan of democracy.
And some of the faults are real, but it's not one of his favorite types of society.
And then some of the stuff is just straight up authoritarian.
Yeah.
He promotes like eugenics at some points in the Republic.
He's like pro-abortion, like we should kill the kids that are like, yeah.
And it's a little unclear.
There's no compassion.
You know, he makes it clear.
The Republic is sort of this thought experiment of what an ideal society would look like.
But it's the laws is more in a practical sense, how you how you had former society with a good set of laws to govern it.
Yeah.
So that's what I've been reading.
And then watching, I started watching the new season of South Park, and it's just the first two episodes are great.
The second episode is all making fun of Prince Harry and Megan, who I don't really even care about or pay attention to that much.
But the way they make fun of them in that episode is, I was laughing until I had tears in my eyes.
I love it.
That's great.
Well, that's really cool because I can't stand those two.
Every time they're on the television, I'm just a visceral reaction.
Did you watch the second episode of the season of South Park?
It's so funny.
Was it the Worldwide Privacy Tour?
Yes, yeah.
I saw that.
I saw that.
I was like, I have to watch that.
And they walk around banging drums everywhere.
Get out of the state.
They want privacy.
They want privacy.
Privacy.
Privacy.
Dude, okay, so I'm reading a couple of things right now.
So you're talking about science fiction.
I like William Gibson.
So have you ever read William Gibson?
So Neuromancer, The Peripheral.
Actually, there's retweeted a Babylon B article once, and it made me want to go read Neuromancer.
Neuromancer is not his best work.
He's a futurist.
That's what he's known for, though, right?
That's like the famous one.
So a lot of the terminology that we use in society today was kind of coined by William Gibson, which is really interesting.
In the 80s, he was talking about, he was talking about cyberpunk and cyberspace and internet and websites.
It's like all the stuff that those names they ended up like.
Like Al Gore, yeah, takes credit for what William Gibson actually did.
And so it's a really interesting, really interesting book.
But I like reading those.
I'm watching The Peripheral on Hulu.
So it's an adaptation of one of his books, and it's fascinating.
It's like a time travel thing with haptics.
So people have like these haptic suits that they get implanted into their bodies and then they can go into these other worlds.
It's very interesting.
And then they can connect as a military can connect with each other like one unit.
You can like sense where everybody is because of your haptic suit.
I love all that stuff.
I think it's really interesting.
It's like Ready Player One with all the 80s references.
It is, yeah.
It's kind of like a not kind of like more of a real, if it were realistic, it'd be more of a realistic thing.
And then I'm also reading The Great Gatsby.
I read it again because that incredibly bored me in high school.
Dude, I was just going to say that's the most boring book I've ever read.
That was the first book I ever read that I hated.
You know what's weird?
Do you like it?
No, I don't like it.
I'm just reading it.
I was like, not, it's, you know, I think, and it's more for me.
I, whenever I get into a scenario where there's like adultery, like, or like some, or like they're trying to glorify adultery, it hurts my heart.
Like, my heart hurts.
Like, when I read it, I'm like, this is really gross.
Like, I'm like, I mean, even though.
But it is supposed to be dark, like, it's not condoning it in a way, or is it like.
I mean, it is a little dark, but it's also kind of like the main character is like becoming a liaison between these two people.
That, I mean, to me, I'm like, this is so morally wrong.
Like, I'm like, I have such a hard time.
It's a vyscal reaction.
But a depiction isn't the same thing as actually.
He hates adultery so much, he's reading it again.
Yeah, I wanted to read it again.
And I have wearied, so we hated that.
The other thing is, I'm taking like a whole year to read Brandon Sanderson's The Way of Kings series because I'm reading so slow and I don't have time to listen anymore.
Because usually I'm learning lines or something in the car.
So I'm just trying to, I can't listen.
I'm doing work in the car.
No, no, you guys.
No, you guys are all texting.
That's just kind of the opposite.
You're in the car, you're using that to do work.
Whereas I feel like when I do have time to sit and read a book, that's when I should be writing or working on editing something.
No, that's smart.
I think to me, if I can do two things at once, I would rather do that.
So I don't want to like, that's what all my two things at once.
Good night, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee.
That's how they do it in Babylon.
So I saw, I also read Frankenstein and Animal Farm.
Oh, we just read Animal.
I read Animal Farm to the Kids.
And I read Jekyll and Hyde this weekend.
Just those three.
This weekend, all three of those.
Yeah.
Well, it's because you're running, right?
Like you're running.
Running and gym and like I was on a plane for three hours.
Yeah, see, that's what you gotta do.
That's what you gotta do.
So I'm jealous.
Think also reminded me of our conversation there in the first, what is it, third or fourth season of South Park?
There's an episode where all the kids get, they want to get diagnosed with ADHD so they can get Adderall.
And then the test that the school gives them to see if they have ADHD is they have to sit there and listen while the teacher reads the Great Cats.
They all start going out of their mind saying, This is so boring.
And he goes, oh my gosh, all of you kids have ADHD.
I do like it.
I mean, I do like the language in it.
It's just the story itself just bothers me.
I'm just like, it's frustrating.
And I also beat Link's Awakening on the Switch and Metroid Prime Remastered on the Switch.
You've been doing a lot.
Yeah.
I've done any work.
I've been hanging out with my kids right now.
Oh, I also do jiu-jitsu now.
So that's taken up some of my extra time.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, that's cool.
Do you do jiu-jitsu?
We should roll on the podcast.
Is that what you say when you want to fight somebody?
Let's roll.
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And now it's time for another interview on the Babylon Bee Podcast.
Hey, so this is the interview show.
Today we have Kristen Wagner here and other not to be confused with Christian Kristen Wagoneer or Kristen Wagoner.
You know, we already did this before we hit record and then we said, oh, good, that wasn't recorded.
And then you decided to do it anyway.
That's what I wanted to do.
I just love your.
I just, I love what you guys do.
ADF is wonderful.
We're massive fans over here, so we're really happy to have you on.
You're doing the work that we're making work for you guys, I think, on some level, you know, like offending people.
Well, I got to tell you, we circulate your stuff pretty regularly, especially when it's on our cases, because we need the levity.
So glad that you have a good sense of humor about it.
Yes, you are the serious face of the fight for free speech.
Yeah, we're just kind of standing on the sidelines of the battle, laughing at everything, which you guys are actually on the front lines of the battle.
You know, I think the Colorado Masterpiece cake shop case was the one that started bringing all of this stuff to at least to my attention, you know, that Christians were being, or any believer, really, anybody with any kind of beliefs, was being compelled to create speech that went against their beliefs.
And I know the current one that's before the Supreme Court is the 303 Creative case, which is, I think, an issue of web design.
Do you want to explain that like we're five years old?
Yeah.
Sure.
Well, if we're going to talk like we're five-year-olds, then I would probably start with Masterpiece.
You know, you start at the beginning.
The beginning really is in 2012 when we started to see activist organizations come after different vocations trying to establish the legal principle that you can force people to say things they don't believe and to use or misuse non-discrimination laws as weapons to essentially silence and punish those who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman or who believe that there is such thing as man and woman and that they're different.
So in 2012, that kind of started and started with Jack Phillips among a couple of others like Baron L. Stutzman out of Washington State.
Jack Phillips owned Masterpiece Cake Shop.
His case went to the United States Supreme Court and I had the privilege of arguing in 2017 we won in 2018.
The reason I say that is because the natural question is why are we talking about 303 when we've already had Masterpiece and we thought we won?
The reason is that the 2018 victory in Masterpiece was based on the free exercise of religion, not on free speech.
The court didn't address the free speech question and instead said Colorado officials were so bad to Jack Phillips that they had so much hostility in how they treated him that that in and of itself meant the process wasn't legitimate because they compared his religious beliefs to those held by owners of the Holocaust and by slave owners.
And they had a double standard in their law where they protected the cake artists they liked and didn't protect people like Jack.
So 303 Creative is a pre-enforcement challenge.
It's a case where Lori is also from Denver.
She's a website designer.
She creates custom websites and graphic design and wanted to be able to enter into the wedding industry to promote her view, her face view of marriage.
And Colorado's law says that if she does that, she puts herself at great peril.
So she filed a lawsuit and that case went to the Supreme Court and it's based on free speech.
So that's the sole question in the case right now.
Now explain it like we're three.
You don't have to say things you don't want to say.
There, that actually now I get it.
Yeah.
Now, why Colorado?
Why Colorado?
What's the deal with Colorado?
I mean, I grew up in Colorado.
I love Colorado.
Why is this the front line of this battle for free speech and free expression of religion?
Well, I think that's a good question in the sense of we don't, we know that activists were targeting different jurisdictions and different vocations back in 2012.
Like if you want to be trying to establish this principle, they're picking jurisdictions that they think they can win in.
And Colorado has the most aggressive enforcement history in the United States in terms of trying to use these laws and weaponize them against people that don't agree with the government's ideology about sex.
And so they started with Masterpiece and have continued to take that position now since 2012.
They have gone after those who would not want to create a message, a custom message, that would violate their convictions.
But we are seeing these laws and these lawsuits play out all across the United States right now.
It's certainly not just Colorado.
It seemed like people were picking on Jack Phillips.
I don't know if you'd use the terminology or not, but it seems like it's a tourist industry where people just go there just to be oppressed by him.
Is he still like, because I heard that he still has some legal troubles today, even though he won in front of the Supreme Court?
He does.
We're still representing him.
It's his third case right now.
And we just lost that case at the Court of Appeals a couple of weeks ago.
The principle, again, is that in Jack's case, in Lori's, in the other decisions that have gone before the different courts, these people are people that serve everyone.
They're making distinctions based on what the message is that's requested, not who the person is that's requesting it.
Everything hinges on what are you asking them to say?
What's the message?
And in Jack's case, the day that the court agreed to hear his Supreme Court case the first time, he got a call from a transgender attorney who asked him to design a cake that would celebrate a birthday, essentially the birthday and the transition of a man to a woman.
And he said, I'm sorry, I can't celebrate that message.
I can't create a custom cake with blue on the outside and pink on the inside that signifies and celebrates a gender transition.
A little bit later, that transgender attorney also called and asked him to create a cake that would celebrate Satan smoking a joint, thinking that that also might trap him into some sort of religious discrimination claim.
And this first Colorado, 24 days after we won at the United States Supreme Court, Colorado came after Jack again.
And then we essentially beat them a second time, uncovering evidence that they were continuing with their hostile statements.
So they settled and then dismissed.
And then the next thing you know, this transgender activist files the third case.
So that case is being litigated right now.
And it's an attempt to crush the conscience and compel the voice of artists to the point where this activist attorney says he's going to keep coming back until he changes Jack's mind or he wins.
Wow.
Yeah, do you think that that is the case?
Actually, this guy is going to be a burr in Jack's saddle for the rest of his life.
Well, the Supreme Court has the opportunity to provide guidance for Jack's case in Lori's case, which is called 303 Creative.
It has the opportunity to tell these courts that are progressive that are refusing to even acknowledge that photographs are speech or that words are speech to instead say, you know what, we've never compelled speech in this nation's history and we're not going to do so now.
So we're really hopeful that we'll have a broad ruling from the Supreme Court in June.
That's interesting.
I hadn't realized that the Jack Phillips case didn't really touch on free speech and that 303 Creative does.
So you guys have already made your arguments and they're deliberating.
Do you have any idea when that might come down?
My expectation is sometime between probably April and June, the court usually will end its session at the end of June, sometimes the first week of July, and sometimes it will hold what's considered the controversial opinions until the end.
We just don't know.
But we do know that sometime between April probably and June, we'll have an answer.
And we are hopeful that it will be a broad ruling that protects the rights of all Americans, regardless of their viewpoint.
I mean, these laws apply to the lesbian graphic designer and the Democrat publicist just as much as to the pro-life photographer and the Christian artist.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
You mentioned also a case that you said is coming up here about women in sports.
What's the deal with that one?
Well, there are a number of cases that ADF has been litigating on behalf of women in sports, both at the high school level as well as at the collegiate level.
You may have heard of our Connecticut track case that's been going on.
That was the first case that was filed on this issue.
And there have been a couple of other cases as well.
The legislative team at ADF has been able to assist a number of states, 18 right now, to pass laws to save women's sports, which basically say it's not right for men to compete against women and certainly men to compete against girls in athletics.
That denies them a fair play and equal opportunities.
That law has been challenged.
And one of those places is in West Virginia, where we serve as counsel with West Virginia.
And I'm pleased to say we won at the trial court a permanent injunction.
It's the first win that the nation has had.
And of course, the ACLU and others plan to appeal that very soon in the next day or two.
So that will continue to be fought out in the appellate courts.
And it's a critical issue, not just for women, but for families and the implications that it has overall when we take away legitimate biological distinctions.
What is the argument for the other side in the trans sports thing?
I mean, because it doesn't seem like it's a very rational argument and shouldn't really be something that you could put into law.
So what is their argument and how do you argue against it?
Well, the argument is basically, you know, this idea that trans women are women, that you can decide that biology doesn't matter, that it shouldn't have a role.
It's a little bit of a target, you know, where they just throw up whatever can stick.
It used to be about the science.
Now there are still some arguments about the science, but our experts have repeatedly demonstrated through the science that there are legitimate biological distinctions between boys and girls and that those have an enduring difference.
And so now they're shifting more towards sort of an equal protection, dignity type interest in some cases.
And again, we can be kind and respectful and we can show dignity to all people, but we also need to be kind and respectful and show dignity to women and girls and to recognize their right to fair play, their right to privacy, their right to safety.
And all of those are at risk in these cases.
It really doesn't make sense, which is why I actually think that the Babylon Bee does play an important role pointing out the logical inconsistencies in this battle.
Yeah, the problem is if we take men out of women's sports, we won't have anything to make jokes about.
That's true.
I do wonder.
That's one of our two jokes.
Yeah, so that's the problem.
One of our two.
Well, you won't have anything to watch anymore either.
I mean, it just, you know, it ruins it for the women and girls.
We know what the stats say about the importance of athletics and all that it provides, both, you know, boys and girls.
I had the privilege of playing sports in college as well.
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
And to suggest somehow that a high school guy or even a college guy is able to, you know, not, isn't superior physically to a woman just makes no sense and it has no support.
And again, we have to think about the implications more broadly, what it does to families, what it does to parental rights.
We're seeing all kinds of litigation involving parental rights involving these issues as well.
So there are broad implications to it.
Yeah.
If you had to draft three Supreme Court justices for your fantasy Supreme Court team, who would you pick?
Oh, I've got my Clarence Thomas shirt on here.
Yeah.
I work with that.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, so you mean those that aren't already on the court, right?
Like, yeah, you're drafting them for your fantasy court.
It could be any, I guess it could be any historical Supreme Court justice as well.
Wow.
You know, I'm not sure if I should go there in terms of, I would probably pick some of my own people that work here at ADF.
You know, John Burch has argued 13 cases before the Supreme Court and been Solicitor General of Michigan.
Aaron Hawley was the one that helped us win the Dobbs case with Mississippi and clerk for the Chief Justice.
I'm looking when we talk to the White House, when we've had a friendly administration about who should be on that list, we're beyond just looking at whether they're originalists or textualists, but also to whether they have moral courage.
And I think that has been the missing quotient in a number of justices, even some justices that have been appointed by Republicans.
So I think that we've got to insist that they have a demonstrated record on standing up for these contentious issues that really matter and look more to what the law says and the common law on these issues as well, rather than just do they have the political credentials to be on the bench.
But I'm optimistic.
Again, I mean, we've had 14 Supreme Court victories in the last 10 years.
Hopefully this will be the 15th.
And in a number of other victories, the court is protecting First Amendment freedoms.
I wish it was broader and quicker, but they are protecting these freedoms.
And so that's good news for all of us.
I just want to make an observation.
So for a person who spends their life in battle, like constantly in a conflict over something or another, and the stakes are so high, you seem to have a lot of peace.
Where does that come from?
You seem like a happy person.
You're happier than me.
Where does that come?
Way happier than coming.
I tell jokes for a living.
I'm just mad at everybody on the class.
That's typical for comedians.
But the happy lawyer who's doing all this battle, why are you so happy?
Where does your joy come from?
Are you so happy?
Well, you know, my joy comes from my relationship with Jesus.
I have a piece about how things end, and he's called us at ADF to walk in faithful obedience and to leave the results to him.
I'm just talking to our team this morning about the three characteristics of a team member here.
And one is that we abide in Christ with the fruits of the Spirit, including in how we communicate.
Two is that we're going to do hard things by walking into the wind.
And three is we're working diligently with joy and expecting astonishing results, just as the early church did.
And so we're excited here about what God's going to do in our season.
And we believe that he's chosen all of us to live at this moment as crazy as it seems to be right now.
You really set her up for that one.
I did.
We need to write those down for the peace.
That was good.
Yeah, that was really good.
How can our Babylon be followers, listeners, and viewers support ADF if they wish to do so?
Well, first of all, those that pray, we need prayer.
I mean, the people that we get to stand beside are amazing people, and they face the loss of all they own.
We also have an international component where we're helping people get out of jail, you know, having not only death threats against them, but even potential death sentences.
And so just praying for our clients as well as our attorneys and the safety of the team.
We've gone to a number of instances where we're facing these kinds of threats, a more hostile environment, even on Yale's law campus and others.
So that kind of prayer and also giving.
You can go to our website at adflegal.org and give.
Our services are all free of charge to those that we serve.
And also educate yourself.
Find out more about these things because we all have a lane in this battle.
And it's to speak to our communities, speak to our neighbors about truth and not shy away from it.
It's not wrong to believe in right and wrong.
And we should say so.
I like that.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much for coming on, Christian.
This is great.
Everybody, please go check out ADF and support her in all those ways.
And can we have your cell phone in case we get into problems with California?
That's the other thing.
Oh, I love it.
My favorite states to sue are California, Washington, and New York.
So you call me whenever you need help.
That is good to know.
That's good to know.
Awesome.
Thank you.
I appreciate the time.
Have a great day.
Well, guys, since we have to prepare for Be Live, that's all the time we have for today.
We're going to move into Mailbag for our subscriber portion.
So join us in the subscriber lounge, and we can't wait to see you guys at Be Live.
By the time this comes out, you'll be like on planes and in cars and heading to Be Live.
Coming up next for Babylon Bee subscribers.
My son, my six-year-old son, tries to do the Would You Rathers because he like heard Would You Rather, but he doesn't get the idea that you're supposed to like two terrible things and you have to pick which.
And it's always like, Would you rather go to Disneyland or die?
Very long, like, we're going to read through Lord of the Rings over 50 episodes, and instead we're going to do one book, one eggs and ham.