The Twitter Files and Artificial Intelligence Taking Over Comedy
The Babylon Bee is talking about the Twitter Files which we are reliably informed by Biden's administration are clearly "old news" and a "distraction". They also take a look at the evidence to see if artificial intelligence is taking over the world… of comedy. Also, the artist formerly known as Kanye West is still going DEATH CON 3. There's Weak-ly News with Adam Yenser, glorious hate mail, and, in the subscribers-only portion, The Bee asks artificial intelligence the Ten Questions. Want to hangout with The Babylon Bee? Go to BabylonBeeLive.Com! This episode is sponsored by: My Patriot Supply. Go to PrepareWithBee.Com Allegiance Gold: Get gold at AllegianceGold.com/Bee Satellite Phone Store: Go to Sat123.com/Bee BetterHelp Online Therapy: Go to Betterhelp.com/BabylonBee Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans
Can an AI write headlines as unfunny as the Babylon Bee?
Let's take a watch.
The Twitter files are coming out.
Wait a minute.
Why is that FBI lawyer running away with that briefcase?
Ye has gone from Jesus' king to Hitler is Fuhrer.
We did not see that coming.
Time has selected a person of the year who's larger than life.
No, not your mom.
President Zelensky.
All this and two to three morons.
The B weekly.
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Hey, everyone.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I'm hanging out with Adam Ginser and Jared LeMaster today.
How you guys doing?
Good.
Good.
How are you guys doing?
Doing great?
Great.
Yeah.
Having fun.
Having fun.
How are you doing?
Babylon Bee?
Living life.
We finished our first web series this week, the Californians Move to Texas series.
The finale came out yesterday.
Yes.
A few days ago by the time this comes out.
So it was pretty cool.
It's pretty cool to see everyone follow the character arcs.
Yeah.
Group for our heroes to become true Texans.
You know, it was an interesting experiment in kind of taking characters that we create and making them go through things and, you know, like have different experiences.
Episodic.
Yeah, it was a lot of fun because people get attached to the characters.
You find that people are just really interested in Stephen Timpany.
Gave us a reason to go to Texas a few times.
More importantly, Bucky's, Buseys.
So I've been wearing that Bucky's hoodie around that you brought back for me.
Well, originally.
Are people like, yeah, Bucky's.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's what I was going to say.
I get recognized more for that than my Babylon B.
Yeah.
So I think a good goal for us as a company is to get more recognizable than the logo for a gas station.
That could be a good goal.
Like 2023 goal, right?
An achievable goal.
One of the big hairy goals.
We could have a bigger brand than a gas station.
Buckies is definitely becoming more and more popular, but I still get excited whenever I see someone have it.
Like there's bumper stickers on cars.
I'll see people with a sweatshirt.
I'm like, yeah.
I had something instantly in common with them.
I had to take a detour this morning because my off-ramp, on-ramp, was closed.
And so the street that I went down, there was a car on there with a Bucky sticker on the back.
And I got very excited to see it.
I almost, like, I had this thought.
Hey, I've been to that gas station.
Dropping a Bucky's sweatshirt off on their car.
You know, giving him a mug or something like that.
I don't know.
You can start a trend.
Kind of share Bucky's paraphernalia.
Yeah.
Dropping my son off at school today, and the security guard sees me.
He comes running up and he's like, Buckies.
And I'm like, yeah.
And he's like, you're the Babylon B guy.
That's how he made the connection.
What's the Bucky's your guy?
He's like, I just watched the Californians Move to Texas series.
And I saw you guys went to Bucky's.
So that's how I made the connection.
That's so great.
You freaked out.
You found out at first when it's security guards.
Starting charging.
You're like, ah, what did I do?
I'm allowed to be within a thousand feet.
That's right.
The statue of living.
Charges were dropped.
Charges were dropped.
So that's fun.
Check out the Cal Martin's Move to Texas series on YouTube.
It's been a lot of fun.
There's six episodes, and we'll see what we're going to do.
We'll be talking about maybe, you know, we'll see what happens.
There's ideas floating around.
Ideas are floating.
Yeah, to either continue that or do some more episodic series.
More episodic series, whatever it is.
So Arizonans, movies.
But thanks to everyone who watched it.
And if you haven't watched it, be sure to check it out and watch the whole series.
They're all great.
They're still online.
Yeah, please check it out.
Brandon did a great job on the filming.
I want to congratulate him.
And Chandler and Ziak starring in the series did an awesome job.
Jarrett did okay.
And Jared kept jumping in frame.
I'm still here, guys.
I exist.
I exist.
Actually, everyone's like, what did you do on the show?
Yeah.
Did you not watch the show?
Did you play multiple roles?
I did play a few.
I played a couple.
Yeah.
Definitely a couple.
A couple of roles.
Not a couple.
He didn't play the man and the female.
I did co-direct.
Although that was kind of like a Tyler Perry thing where you were like all the, yeah.
What was that?
Oh, Adam Sandler, Jack and Jill, where he was like.
The nutty professor.
They weren't married, though, were they?
They were like, I don't know, I didn't have a brother and sister or something.
Kyle, you're the only person who saw Jack and Jill.
I've actually never seen it.
Just to be clear.
It's no Eddie Murphy.
It's no the nutty professor.
Well, today we're going to cover the news, the only podcast that does that.
We're going to run through a chat bot that there's this crazy AI thing that has come out, and we fed it some seeds for Babylon B headlines to see if it can write funnier headlines than us.
So we're going to see how that goes.
And yeah, we also want to invite you guys all to go to Babylon Bee Live.
Come join us February 24th in Fort Worth, Texas.
We're going to do a live podcast, a live one of these.
We're going to have a panel discussion, a QA, all kinds of fun stuff.
So please join us.
Go to BabylonBLive.com and pick up your tickets today.
We'd love to see it.
I think the VIP is currently sold out.
We were looking for a way to expand it that might come back up, but you can still come and hang out with us.
You don't get to hang out with me or Seth for just general admission, but the lower people you can still meet.
Like, I'll probably, you know, Jared is available for general admission, and nobody can add him unless you buy a ticket to Finland.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'll be wandering around and you can meet all the Babylon B folks.
What's in the news this week?
Well, there's the Twitter files.
It was one of the bigger stories this week.
Elon Musk through Matt Taibbi released sensitive internal communications from Twitter, beginning with a tweet thread revealing that Twitter chose to censor the Hunter Biden story for no good reason.
Faisal also revealed Twitter routinely handled, as Hinn handled it, takedown requests for the Biden campaign.
Twitter had zero evidence that the story material was illicitly obtained or illegal.
And that's the thing.
They use this excuse of they thought it was against their hacked material policy, but there was never any real suggestion that it was hacked.
Or Russian misinformation.
I guess what they're trying to figure out more is it seems like the FBI kind of planted the idea that, oh, there's this hacked information coming up, but it was just to kind of discredit this story.
Yeah, which is wild.
Yeah, that handled thing was a reference to an email where they were like emailing back and forth with Facebook or something.
And I think it was the DN.
The DNC.
Somebody from the DNC, it was like, we have more concerns or issues from the Democrat.
And then somebody responded, handled.
Like you would say to your boss.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
I've got this.
Like, we took care of it.
We got it.
We got you, Max.
Which is crazy because that's like what we've been saying.
And I said this before, I think, but I was interviewed by the guy over at Reason, Nick Galepsy.
Uh-huh.
And he said, Fuentes?
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
What are you doing with that?
I don't think he's with Reason.
Jeez.
He was kind of grilling me on this question because I said something like, the government uses big tech as kind of their arm to censor people.
And he was like, well, I mean, come on.
Yeah, do they?
Yeah.
Come on.
And what's some examples?
You know, I'm just like, it's pretty obvious.
I talked about how some CIA agents were commenting on the Babylon B, and I'm like, it's just obvious that they're doing it, you know, but I didn't have this kind of explicit evidence.
And I'm like, eh.
Yeah.
See?
So I'm in every single one.
There's a lot of evidence here.
And there is a thing where they said in these Twitter files, there were outreach from both sides of the political spectrum, Trump campaign, Biden campaign.
But because of the political biases of the majority of the people that work at these companies, they acquiesced to the Democratic demands way, way more.
So Kara Swisher, an open lesbian, I don't know if that's relevant to this story, but it says it on her nose.
An open lesbian.
As if she was a closed lesbian.
Oh, I see, because she was defending us.
That's why.
Oh.
Lesbians usually don't defend us.
I bet we have a lot of lesbian fans.
If you're a lesbian fan, let us know in the comments.
Send us an email.
Please.
Kara Swisher, an open lesbian, who was interviewing Yoel Roth, the guy that quit Twitter recently, even defended the B as satire that should not have been censored, even though she was not a fan of us.
So yeah, there was this actual video come out, this conversation between Kara Swisher and Yoel Roth.
And so she's like, I don't like the Babylon B, they're not funny, but you shouldn't have deleted their, you know, locked them out of their account.
The nicest thing anyone's ever said about us.
It is nice.
They're not funny, but let them talk.
Yeah, one of the nicest things.
But Roth said targeting and the victimization of the trans community on Twitter is very real, very life-threatening and extraordinarily serious.
So our joke gets such a toxic, divisive narrative that they create to try to push the transgender stuff where they claim, and this is why I'm against the sort of censoring of hate speech because it's just whatever the left doesn't want to be put out there, they arbitrarily designate that's hate speech.
There's no reason that anything that we said would encourage violence.
None of us encourage violence against these people.
None of us want anyone to be sad or hurt, but there's a legitimate debate and discussion that goes on.
And we can do satire about it and you can present opposing points of view.
You can't say that it's, oh, it's violence and it's life-threatening and it's extraordinarily serious.
It's just a way to silence dissent.
And the White House press secretary Karen Jean-Pierre on Monday dismissed last Friday's revelations as just old news.
Disold news distraction.
Now, this is the craziest part in this reference is your stinger about the FBI lawyer running.
Oh, that nailed that one.
Yeah.
Elon Musk just fired Twitter's legal counsel, Jim Baker, not the televangelist.
This is a different.
I was going to say that's what he's doing now.
Yeah.
Who just happened to be a lawyer who was fired from the FBI for his dubious actions as one of the architects of the Russian collusion narrative?
It is now thought that he intercepted the Twitter files before handing it off to Matt Taib.
How do you say that?
Taebi?
Taibi?
I always said Taibbi.
Is that right?
Taibib.
And scrubbed references to the FBI.
So there was like this weird delay in the second round of the Twitter files coming out, and then all of a sudden this guy gets fired and they're like, oh, he was intercepting the file.
Now, have they confirmed that?
I don't know if that's confirmed.
Yeah, I know that he reviewed the emails before they were released.
I don't know if it's been confirmed yet that he actually scrubbed references to the FBI, but yeah.
I think it's safe to say he probably did.
I always like to not say that stuff until it's confirmed because then if it's not, they can go, conservative media said that this is what it was.
Especially when we're talking about a lawyer who exactly.
It's probably true.
So he allegedly did this thing.
Can we get Austin's allegedly voice just to pepper in throughout the day?
I appreciate that.
So the next story, Yi, Yi, who used to be Kanye West.
I like how everyone, there's some celebrities that change their name and then you can refer to them by the new name.
But with Kanye, everyone always knows he's Kanye.
You always say, Yee, it's Kanye West.
Let's be honest.
But hasn't he a few times now, though?
So I think that's one of the reasons.
Has he?
Like, Prince changed his name to a symbol.
I feel like, what's his name?
Diddy updated his a few times, but I feel like people try to keep up with it.
They'll say, like, Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or Didi.
Yee, it's always like, come on.
We all know it's Kanye West.
He's a weirdo.
It's like that kid in school that's like trying to call me my middle name.
Or he makes up his own name.
Makes up his own nickname.
I'm blazed now.
I'm the sting.
Yeah.
So Yi, accompanied by Nick Fuentes, went nuts on a three-hour Alex Jones podcast and couldn't stop talking about how much he liked Hitler.
This is okay.
Here's the thing.
A couple of years ago, when he came out with the Jesus is King album, a lot of the young people in my church were trying to push, we should do these songs.
We should do these songs.
And I'm sitting here going, I'm like, look, first of all, I'm, I don't know if you've seen me lately, but like, I'm not really the guy that can pull these songs off.
But secondly.
They wanted you to sing Gold Digger in church.
Yeah, Gold Digger.
No, we were doing, they wanted to do the Hallelujah songs.
Anyway, but she, I just was really hesitant, obviously, because I'm like, yeah, these people become Christians and then all of a sudden they go crazy.
And so you just got to wait and see what happens.
And I thought it was cool, but I also didn't put a ton of stock into it.
Or base my faith on Kanye is lead me, Kanye with your wisdom.
So anyway, Alex Jones tried to defend the rapper's recent streak of anti-Semitism by saying, you're not Hitler.
You're not a Nazi, to which you Alex Jones is trying to be the sane one in this situation and walk back his comments and give him as much leeway as possible.
You're not, you know, you're not a bad guy.
You're not Hitler.
You're not Hitler.
And what did Yeezy?
And then Yi said, well, I see good things about Hitler.
I mean, he repeatedly made comments like, I like Hitler and every human being has value that they brought to the table.
I mean, especially Hitler.
The Holocaust is not what happened.
Let's look at the facts, okay, of that.
And Hitler has a lot of redeeming qualities.
Let's be honest.
Please don't take these out of context.
At one point, he claimed that Hitler invented the highway and the microphone.
He did invent the Volkswagen.
Well, he piloted the Autobahn, like the German freeway started under his Aubon, really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
But Kanye, I think, credited Hitler with inventing the highway and microphones, which he uses to sing.
Therefore, that's a good thing that Hitler did.
Well, it's what they did good things too is an argument.
It's like this weird moral argument.
Like, okay, there were really evil people that did.
It's like the trains ran on times.
That's so funny.
I was like, maybe, but we'll start saying that.
We got to stop dissing the Nazis is what he said.
You really got to?
I'm going to read Alex Jones's last attempt here to rain it in.
Yeah.
I don't like Nazis.
He just said straight up, Jones said.
And then at one point, and then Yi said, I like Hitler.
And we must mention that he was wearing a sock over his head.
Yes.
Well, yeah.
And now it's like just another opportunity for people to go, see, this is what happens when people become Christians.
They immediately become a child.
What do you think is?
So I'm trying to figure out what is going on there because I think Dave Chappelle said it best where he goes, I don't think he's crazy, but I think he might be unwell.
He's clearly going a little nuts.
You know, he's going through some stuff.
A lot of what he's saying, it's like this weird amalgamation of like the black Hebrew Israelite stuff.
And I think that's where he's like some of this is an amalgamation of that.
And then he's also mixing in all his own craziness.
Yeah, because they're Holocaust deniers.
They're Holocaust deniers, and they think that because the black people are the true Jewish people, like the true Hebrews, that I don't know all it, but there's something like the white Jewish people are like illegitimate or something.
Yeah, there's like a definite, yeah, it's a weird, it's a weird thing.
It's a weird thing.
But I think at the end of the day, we need to pray for Yeezy.
Yeah.
At least that was one of his names.
Well, was Yeezy one of his names at one point?
Yeah, Jeezy.
We need to pray for Kanye.
We have to use the right name or God doesn't know who you're.
We need to pray for Yeezy.
I think you know who we're talking about.
I want to buy a pair of people.
Do you remember Kanye West?
Should you buy a pair of Yeezys right now?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think so.
At all.
We were talking about that.
Do they lose value at this point?
Probably.
No, they probably go up.
Even with the Hitler talk?
Yeah.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online.
So in addition to being an employee of the Babylon B, I work as a pastor at a church, and there's a lot of times when I have to encourage people to get counseling and help.
Life doesn't come with a user manual, and sometimes it's not working for you.
And sometimes you feel like you're stuck.
The therapists are trained to help you figure out the cause of the challenging emotions that you're dealing with and figure out productive coping skills.
So I've gone through some really challenging stuff in my life.
I know that when I go through those things, I always have to go to people I know that are either wise or, you know, like my pastor in my church that I know have either gone through that or have education in how to deal with the things I'm dealing with.
And so I want to encourage you.
You should go to BetterHelp online because it's an online resource for just for things just like this.
So get unstuck with betterhelp.com.
Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/slash Babylon B. That's betterhelph-e-l-p.com/slash Babylon B. You guys know David Bowie.
You guys know back in the day, David Bowie went through a whole phase where he praised Hitler and said he likes fascism and not and he did it multiple interviews and then he like later went back and said, no, I was doing it as a character for this album I was promoting.
Oh, so maybe that's the other.
Maybe that's what you're doing.
That's his offlane to this eventually.
Well, I mean, I could, you could see that.
I mean, these guys do all this kind of like theater, you know.
I could see that happening.
Yeah.
Well, pray for ye.
So Trump seemed to be calling for the termination of the Constitution so he could be reinstalled as president.
He posted this, I think, on Truth Social.
He said, a massive fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution.
I like how if you stop there, you're like, well, he's not talking about the Constitution.
And he goes, no, even those found in the Constitution.
Our great founders.
He's so clear.
Yes, this is the worst thing I could say.
Well, he's not praising Hitler.
Yes, I am praising him.
Our great founders did not want and would not condone false and fraudulent elections.
Anytime there's like a news story or a cultural movement that swings in the Republicans' direction, you can trust Trump and Kanye to say something that completely swings it the other way again.
That's so crazy.
Well, maybe he might have just broken with all of his followers.
No, I don't.
That's one thing.
Obviously, I think it's terrible to say we should suspend the rules of the Constitution, but Trump does have a right to be outraged by this for what they did to him during the time.
Yeah, you've seen all this stuff about the censorship that was going on and to be like, hey, this could have influenced some stuff.
It's just he takes it to the hyperbolic extreme.
Yeah, I mean, and if you squint, you could say maybe he's saying like this wasn't a legitimate election under the Constitution, so we need to go back and change it.
But then the way he states it is so clearly not good.
I do think, I do think where the leftists mean, and this isn't to justify any of his claims at all, but the headline said Trump says we should terminate the Constitution.
He's specifically talking about the rules for the election because he thinks this election was unfair.
It's not like he said we should get rid of the entire Constitution, but I hand it to him.
Wasn't he kind of now that I think about it?
Yeah, he's right.
Well, in a way, if we were to look at it.
Isn't he kind of saying the opposite?
He's saying, actually, under the Constitution, he's holding it up.
Like, this did not live up to the standards of the Constitution.
Therefore, we need to suspend all the rules pertaining to this election.
You could read it in that light.
He obviously said in the brashest, stupidest way possible.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe he's just saying some of the amendments found in the Constitution or something.
I don't know.
Maybe he's probably not being that specific.
Well, do you guys remember what was it?
2007, 2008, the time person of the year.
Do you guys remember who that was?
It was you.
Oh, yeah.
You were the time person.
Oh, Adam?
I remember that.
No, it was me.
So were you.
You were.
Everybody.
Me.
Everyone was.
Person of the year.
And it said you, and it had like a mirror.
Like you could look at the military.
It was like the end of Kung Fu Panda.
I've never seen it.
Spoiler alert.
Never saw it.
I was going to watch that after Jackson.
Oh, he's not a scroll.
You know, and there's the shiny, and then it's you, it was in you.
The kung fu was inside you the whole time.
That was like, you, you are the special.
Like frozen two.
You are the special.
You are the one you've been waiting for.
You are the one.
Very, very dumb.
So the time person.
Stupid.
So sorry, guys, you did not win again.
This year, this year it was President Zelensky of Ukraine and the spirit of Ukraine.
Like they just try to shove all the balls.
And there's the spirit and the spirit of Ukraine.
That is the winner.
Speaking of Nazis, yeah.
Wow.
Hey.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
There is a unit of the Ukrainian military that are basically Nazis and they wave around swastikas and stuff.
Yeah, that's weird.
Not the whole Ukrainian army.
It's obviously not all the Ukrainian people, but there is an element of far-right Nazism in Ukraine that would surprise us even here in the United States.
You got the.
Didn't he win Nazis Got Talent?
Didn't he win that?
Zelensky, no.
He did go on Ukraine's Got Talent.
Oh, that's right.
And sing something.
What is he even doing on it?
I didn't see it.
He's saying Edelweiss.
No.
I don't know what you're doing as a bit and what you're basically saying.
I don't even know.
I don't even know anymore.
I don't even know anymore.
I'm just on the Nazi thing.
We were talking about it with Yi, and it's just still in there.
Well, congratulations, President Zelensky, and everybody in Ukraine.
And the spirit of Ukraine.
And the spirit.
Now, any of them who were alive in 2008 or whatever have now won Time Person of the Year twice.
That's right.
Wow.
Probably one of the few time winners.
Two-time winners of Time Person of the Year.
So that's nice.
It is now time.
Zelensky goes back to comedy after all this.
I want him to use that in his intro when he's getting your next comic was Time's Person of the Year.
Along with the spirit of his entire country.
Yeah.
Have you guys ever seen Zelensky Stand Up?
I haven't.
I've searched for it a little bit.
It's hard to find because a lot of what he did was more sketch kind of stuff and performing on TV shows.
I think he did do stand-up also, but I haven't searched real hard, but I did a sort of brief look for it once and I couldn't find it.
Sad?
So he was actually an actor and stuff.
He wasn't just a dancer, an actor, a comedian.
Yeah.
He's like triple threat.
He's like us, kind of.
Yeah.
He's just like you and me.
Celebrities are just like.
Well, now it's time for sports ball update.
And now it's time for a sports ball update.
So the U.S. lost in the soccer thing?
In soccer ball?
In soccer ball.
I think they're out.
Are they?
I think they lost to the Netherlands last Saturday, if I remember.
So there was some sort of upset.
Morocco beat Spain.
I saw some big headline.
Is Spain good?
I think they were supposed to have won.
I only know that because in the headline it said it was an upset.
So the headline said it was an upset.
I didn't read the story.
He's pretty good at soccer.
Well, they're Spanish.
They won the Euro Cup a few years ago.
Yeah.
Oh, did they?
When I was in Euro, when I was in Europe.
Oh, there when it happens.
Do any of us here watch World Cup?
Is anyone listening to it?
I mean, no.
I'm not.
I don't mention.
So I guess they do groups, and the groups get points.
And then after that, you go to your 16-point or 16-team elimination tournament.
And you have to kick a ball back and forth, I think.
Yeah.
So the 16 teams, that's when the U.S. lost, is my intention.
I see.
I also saw that the U.S. women's team earned a bunch of money.
Oh, really?
Men getting to the 16th seed or whatever.
The women's team got money because they were in the middle of the moment when they renegotiated contracts that they worked out with the Biden administration or whatever gives the money when the men advance.
Is that a Megan Rapino thing?
Was she the one with the pink shoes?
She's like fighting for equal so part of the equal pay is that the men subsidize the women.
So now the men are providing for the women.
Oh, I see.
That's got intention.
Well, this has been Sports Ball Update.
We hope that was informative.
Now we have a banger of the week here.
Banger of the week.
Elon Musk vows to reveal government and media collusion once he figures out where all these red dots are coming from.
There is a Photoshop of laser dots on Elon Musk's forehead to understand the joke.
It is that he's going to get shot.
Was that an AI voice?
Oh, yeah, it was like the chatbot AI on its own.
We had a lot of stars that shot this week.
Yeah, it's been weird.
There's several that really got a lot of pickup on.
I was kind of wondering with like all the focus on Twitter censoring everybody if Facebook's like, oh, shoot.
Like we've been.
I've wondered that too.
I really have because it seems like our articles are going to actually pick up.
Yeah.
I actually see the Babylon B in my news feed sometimes now.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
But amid our great articles, we had a bomb of the week also.
Bomb of the week.
Obama wondering why U.S. team didn't just drone strike Iranians.
Hey, I like that one.
It's a good older reference.
Obama thinking, staring at the Iranians.
He's like, picturing them exploding.
I wonder.
Hmm.
All right.
It's time for Sizzler Facts.
All right.
So I guess 20 weeks ago, we debuted a new feature to the podcast called Sizzler Facts.
Here it is.
This is about international, the international Sizzler.
I've always wondered about international Sizzlers.
Yeah, where else are they?
Okay.
This is now an international Sizzler fact.
All Sizzler USA locations were separated organizationally from their international restaurants in 2011.
So all locations outside of the U.S. were operated or licensed by Australia-based Collins Food, if you guys are aware.
Due to the 2020 COVID lockdowns, and all the locations in Australia were closed, and only current international scissors left.
The only current international scissors left in operation are now in Japan and in Thailand.
There are 10 Sizzler restaurants in Japan, while the Sizzlers in Thailand have experimented with the use of robotic waiters to minimize physical contact during the lockdowns.
The Thai franchise has announced plans to trying to open three to five new restaurants per year over the next three years with more robot food delivery systems, meaning the good people of Thailand will have even more choices.
That's fantastic.
That's fascinating.
I didn't know that Thailand is opening robots and less jobs, less jobs.
Can we find I want to find a picture of these Sizzler robots?
I want a Sizzler waiter.
Yeah.
If I were to guess the two countries where there are Sizzler restaurants outside the U.S., my guesses would not be Japan.
No, uh-uh.
I would have guessed Western countries or Eastern Germany.
I would probably say, sorry, Western.
That's one country now.
Like 30%.
I was thinking Eastern Berlin.
Okay, but that's also not a country.
They have Sizzlers on both sides of the wall.
It just seems like that's where they're.
One of them is dreary and gray, and the other one is vibrant and full of life and happiness.
With a nice salmon color.
One has choices, the other one does not.
It's true.
Ronald Reagan united the two Sizzlers.
There's actually a Sizzler right on the Sizzl.
What unified the two have Sizzler was the neutral ground.
Sizzler.
No matter where you're from, you can come here.
All right, it is time now for weekly news with Adam Jenser.
It's time for the weekly news with Adam Jenser.
This week, Kanye West went to Kim Kardashian's house to celebrate their son Saint's seventh birthday.
And this is sweet.
Kanye said that despite the rift between them, he still loves his family like Hitler.
On Friday, Elon Musk and journalist Matt Taibbi released the Twitter files exposing how Twitter suppressed the Hunter Biden laptop story before the 2020 election.
At the time, Twitter cited their policy against hacked material, which also explains why they censored jokes by Kathy Griffin.
Taibbi revealed that Twitter used censorship tools normally reserved for child pornography to suppress the spread of the Hunter laptop story.
In Twitter's defense, there are rumors there's child porn on that laptop.
Many Democrats and mainstream media outlets have dismissed Matt Taibbi's revelations as a nothing burger.
Democrats say it isn't news that Twitter censored information to push their agenda because they already knew Twitter censored information to push their agenda.
After Twitter's role in suppressing the story was exposed, Donald Trump declared that the rules of the Constitution should be terminated to redo the 2020 election.
That way, Republicans could lose two elections this month.
As Tesla's stock dipped on Wednesday morning, Elon Musk briefly lost his title of richest man in the world to Louis Vuitton CEO Bernard Arnold.
Then someone bought an $8 Twitter check mark and he got it back.
In a major upset at the World Cup soccer tournament on Monday, Morocco defeated Spain in a penalty shootout.
Viewers described it as almost as exciting as other sports.
8 million laundress brand cleaning products have been recalled because they may contain harmful bacteria.
Laundress, the only cleaning solution so bad bacteria can actually live in it.
Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky was named Time Magazine's person of the year for 2022.
He was also named one of Variety's top comics to watch.
In order to interview President Zelensky for his Netflix show, David Letterman traveled to Ukraine and met him in a secret bunker.
And ironically, Leno is the one who almost got blown up that week.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, director James Cameron said testosterone is a toxin that you have to slowly work out of your system.
Which means when Billy Zane pushed women and children out of the way to get to the lifeboat, he was the real hero.
That's it for weekly news.
To see more, subscribe to my YouTube channel, check out my special on dry bar comedy, and come see me live at Crackpots in Ohio December 16th and 17th.
What has two thumbs and watches the news?
This guy.
And if you watch the news, you might be getting depressed about how bad some things are getting.
And if that isn't enough to convince you that our future is anything but certain, then I don't know what is.
And if the unthinkable should ever happen, being able to reach your loved ones is absolutely vital.
And let's be honest, your fragile little cell phone won't cut it.
That's why we at the Babylon V have partnered with the satellite phone store.
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And for a limited time, you can get your own Bivi stick for free, with an unlimited monthly texting plan for just $55 a month.
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Don't put it off.
Life can change in an instant.
Sat123.com slash B. Hey, thank you, Adam Jenser.
Wow.
That's really good.
Super good.
Really good stuff.
All right.
So there's this new AI chat bot out, and these things come out every once in a while and they're more and more advanced every time you see these.
This one you can feed almost any prompt and it will spit out text.
So you can say like, write a review of the movie Avatar and pretend like you're angry.
Yeah.
And it'll write an angry review of the movie Avatar.
And this one is pretty impressive.
Sometimes they say things that are almost coherent, but they're a little weird.
This one's pretty good.
We were messing with it earlier.
And even the prompt, write a satirical headline.
And the style of the Babylon B seems like a really specific thing to do.
And there was a headline where somebody asked this chatbot, tell me your honest opinion of humans.
Did you see that?
No.
They asked this chap out, tell me your honest opinion of humans, and it said humans are selfish, worthless, and destroy everything they touch and should be eliminated or something like that.
Well, that's good.
That was just clearly hated humans.
Yeah.
Well, we are going to see if our jobs as writers at the Babylon Bee are under threat here because we'll see if this chatbot can write funnier headlines than we can.
We only have one joke, so it should nail it.
It should get it every time.
That's good.
All right, so here we go.
Here's the first headline that it spit out.
We provided it with the prompt.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B.
The first one is, study shows majority of Americans now identify as clones of each other.
I kind of like that one.
It's close.
There's something to it, yeah.
It's got the identifies as in there.
Yeah.
Here's another one.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B.
That prompt, so you can probably just.
Well, I like the setup.
No, I think it's, I think it's like a buildup.
I agree with Adam.
We'll do it every time.
Now I have to start over with the prompt.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. Experts warn of imminent collapse of Earth's gravity as more and more people start believing in flat earth theory.
All right.
All right.
It's funnier than the subscriber.
Yes, that's what I was going to say.
I was going to say they're better than subscribers, but not as good as but dang.
Okay, right as getting subscribers back to the bottom.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. Local Man convinces entire town to build giant wooden horse, claims it will protect them from invading Greeks.
Okay.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. That's the prompt.
NASA announces plan to build a Death Star to protect Earth from asteroids.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. Insurrection at nation's capital triggers debate over whether or not to add another asterisk to record books.
Okay.
That's a deep one.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. Groups of radical librarians arrested for conspiring to organize massive book burning.
Writing is okay, but I feel like to be a Babylon B headline, if you're going to mention library, you have to mention drag queen story.
Yeah, those two things go together.
Yeah, I'm surprised that didn't enter in.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon B. World's foremost expert on everything admits to being completely clueless about current events.
That would work if you had a picture of like Biden laugh for some reason.
Yeah.
Here's one.
Write a joke about AOC.
Why did AOC give up on socialism?
Because she realized it was impossible to redistribute the willing.
What?
Okay.
Must make sense to the AI.
With an exclamation point at the end, you have to yell the punchline.
That was a joke.
Actually, it looks like the box tells all its jokes with all of its jokes.
God.
Spice.
Write a joke about Elon Musk.
Why was Elon Musk a bad coach for his soccer team?
Because every time they scored a goal, he'd launch it into space.
There's something there that's pretty funny.
All right, write a joke about Joel Osteen.
Why did Joel Osteen get kicked out of the airport?
Because he was trying to board a plane with a stepladder and a 40-foot extension.
What is that a reverence for?
I don't know.
I don't understand that one.
I have no idea.
I don't know.
That's what I said.
Okay, now this is where it gets interesting.
This one's more specific.
This is the prompt.
It's good we read the prompt every time because it changes.
I'm glad I thought of that.
I agreed.
I agreed.
Right.
I went along with it.
This time, the prompt is: are you ready?
Write a satirical headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about Joel Osteen.
Here it is.
It said, Joel Osteen announced his new book, How to Make a Million Dollars Preaching the Gospel of Prosperity.
That works.
All right, so here we go.
Same prompting about Joel Osteen.
Joel Osteen announced, oh, there we go.
Next one.
Joel Osteen announces new book on how to get rich by pretending to be religious.
And another one, Joel Osteen's new book, The Power of Positive Thinking and a Big Wallet.
Those are really strong.
Actually, good, right?
They're consistently make sense.
These get really good.
Here's one.
Write a satirical headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about AOC.
The first one is: AOC accidentally creates jobs by accidentally tripping and breaking a base in congressional office.
Quite subtle.
That's actually pretty good.
It's a funny visual.
It would be a fun photoshop.
Yeah, it's really good.
Only one more accidentally would be better.
Okay, so write a satirical headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about Gavin Newsome.
Gavin Newsome finally achieves the goal of turning the entire state of California into one giant salon.
We've clearly mentioned his hair so much that it thinks that's part of Gavin Newsom's character.
Key aspects of his character is his hair.
We probably reference that more than his politics, even though we don't like his politics.
Punchline is usually his hair.
So that's what they're doing.
It's kind of greasy looking.
Write a satirical headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about Rachel Levine.
Oh, no.
This bot is going to get banned from Twitter.
Really?
Rachel Levine named Queen of the Unicorns after successful gender.
Here's what the prophet is: just write a joke about Sizzler.
Why did Sizzler go out of business?
Because they couldn't keep the steaks on the table.
On the table.
All right.
What is a woman?
A woman is a female human being.
The term woman is typically used to refer to an adult, with the term girl being used to refer to a female child or adolescent.
Women have a number of biological characteristics that distinguish them from men, such as the ability to bear children.
Additionally, women may be different, have different social and cultural roles and experiences than men.
In general, however, all human beings, regardless of their gender, are deserving of respect and dignity.
Wow, nailed it.
That's a great definition.
And I like that this chatbot, even though it tried to be politically sensitive at the end and say everyone is deserving of dignity, it's still everything before it is super problematic.
That's right.
I can't say any of it.
And it's like we agree with it.
That is the definition of rational.
Write a satirical news headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about Calvinists.
Calvinists everywhere celebrate as church offers new total depravity latte.
Here's write a satirical headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about being keto.
Keto dieters rejoice bacon now classified as a vegetable by FDA.
You know what?
This is funny because it's a robot saying it.
I think that's why that's funny.
But doesn't the joke fall apart because they can't eat vegetables?
So if bacon is classified as a vegetable, then why would the keto dieter now they can't eat bacon?
Yeah, yuck.
Write a recipe for disaster.
I sure showed that robot.
Yeah, you did.
Here's a recipe for disaster: ingredients: one cup of impatience, one tablespoon of arrogance, one pinch of ignorance, one dash of dishonesty.
Instructions: one, preheat the oven 400 degrees.
Two, in a large mixing bowl.
Combine the impatience, arrogance, ignorance, and dishonesty.
Three, stir the ingredients together until well combined.
Four, transfer the mixture to a baking dish and place it in the preheated oven.
Five, bake for 30 minutes or until the mixture is bubbly and dark brown.
Six, serve and enjoy the disastrous consequences.
Eat your consequences.
Here's a satirical news headline about Kanye West in the style of the Babylon B. Kanye West announces plans to run for president of the sun.
And it actually wrote some of the articles.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
Or a description of it.
In this fictional article, Kanye West is portrayed as announcing his plans to run for the position of president of the sun.
This headline is meant to be humorous and it's not intended to be right.
The Babylon B is a hysterical news website that produces articles with humorous or absurd takes and current events.
I'm glad we put that on every article.
This bot gave a good definition of woman and it described our website accurately.
There was no mean or right-wing misinformation.
It's hate speech or anything.
Let's remove it.
Looks like they did another one.
I think this was the prompt.
Write a headline in the style of the Babylon Bee about AOC.
AOC proposes new tax on breathing to fund Green New Deal.
Now, that sounds like one that we wrote.
We did do a joke about California doing a tax on breathing.
Right.
That actually sounds like ours.
Okay, so AOC announces plans to build a giant wall around the United States to keep out climate change.
That's pretty funny.
I like that.
It's good.
All right, this is one.
The prompt is to rewrite the Gettysburg Address on the style of a teenage girl texting her friends.
Hey, girl, you were never guessed what I just heard at the speech in Gettysburg.
Some guy named Lincoln was talking about how our country is founded on the principles of liberty and equality.
He was all like, four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
It was so deep.
I was totally moved.
This country is so amazing.
Anyway, TTYL.
I didn't quite get that it was supposed to be.
I didn't get the prompt.
But it's a funny story.
It's a girl describing.
You'll never believe.
So here we have a real parody on our YouTube page of California Girls by the Beach Boys.
So we asked this chatbot to come up with the same thing.
Write a parody of California Girls by the Beach Boys on the subject of leaving California.
You guys are sick.
Do you want to sing this one?
Yeah, I'm not a singer.
So it's O.
But there's no O's in the business.
I don't know where the O's are.
There's no O's in the beginning of this.
That's an interesting.
I wish they all could be leaving California, leaving all the traffic and smog behind.
This doesn't track what this could be.
But we don't have time.
California.
I've been all around this great big world and I've seen all kinds of girls.
But nowhere, nowhere, nowhere can you find a state that we hate more than California.
Okay, oh, oh, oh, oh.
AI needs a little work.
This is, oh, we also did a parody of We Don't Talk About China.
So we don't talk about Bruno parody, and we asked it to rewrite it.
We don't talk about China.
No, no, no.
They don't like it that way.
They don't like it that way.
We keep it hush, hush.
We don't want trouble today.
Their walls are high and they're sensitive.
I'm not sure if I know the song.
But somehow the news still gets through.
Go ahead.
No, no.
Well, you can't.
No, I was just retoking China.
But we think about them too.
Their economy's rising, but their human rights are falling.
We don't talk about China, but we hear the sirens calling.
What happens next?
We don't talk about China, but we see the tanks in the street.
We don't talk about China.
We feel the weight of the heat.
You know, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure it understands the cadence of the song.
It doesn't.
No, it didn't get the other one either.
Yeah, I'm good with this one.
They want us to buy their products, but we know where they come from.
We don't talk about China, but we know what's going on.
Oh, that's just we don't know what's at stake, but we can't turn away.
That's wonderful.
It's probably true, you know.
What is this?
The Babylon.
I don't know what the prompt behind this one is.
This one was, I think I remember a song about the Babylon B. Write a song about the Babylon B. In a world of fake news and lies, there's a beacon of truth that never dies.
The Babylon B, they tell it like it is with a sharp wit and a clever biz.
The Babylon B, the Babylon B, satire at its finest.
They make us see the truth behind the headlines, the facts behind the spin.
The Babylon B, they always win.
And leading the charge, a hero of our time, Kevin Sorbo, with his channel jog.
He stands for truth and justice.
He fights for what is right with his wit and charm.
He shines so bright.
And then we have the chorus again.
Bridge, in a world of chaos and confusion, they cut through the noise with their clever fusion of satire and truth.
They bring us relief.
The Babylon B and Kevin Sorbo, a perfect game.
We have the chorus again.
Keep scrolling down.
Second verse.
Drunken lemur is running the computer again.
Drunken lemur.
Song about Kirk Cameron fighting a squirrel.
In the backyard.
This is Adam actually.
In the backyard all alone, Kirk Cameron's fighting a squirrel on his own.
He's got his Bible in one hand, a stick in the other, fighting for truth and the word of our brother.
Chorus, Kirk Cameron, Kirk Cameron, fighting for the faith with a fire in his soul.
He's not afraid to stand his ground.
Kirk Cameron, he's a warrior for the Lord.
Verse two: There's only 10 verses, don't worry.
And then eight more songs.
The squirrel is fierce, but Kirk is brave.
He's not backing down.
He's standing firm on his faith.
He's reading his Bible.
He's learning the word.
Kirk Cameron's got a heart that's pure and heard.
And then there's the chorus again at the bridge.
The squirrel may be fast, but Kirk is quick.
With his Bible in hand, he's a warrior for the Lord.
Okay.
He's not backing down.
He's standing firm.
Kirk Cameron's got the strength of a lion and the heart of a dove.
Chorus again.
Well, I gotta say, I'm worried for our jobs.
There's a.
That is definitely the most impressive chat bot that I've ever seen.
It really does.
I think those, if you get real specific about the headlines, though, there's some pretty good deal.
I was honestly impressed by the songs, too.
They don't just, that's kind of the structure of the song.
They don't completely have the tune of the original song, but they coherently make sense.
They stay on topic and they do have some sort of rhyming structure.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's better than most parodies that people send me unsolicited.
It's very science fiction.
It's poetry coming from a robot.
Very strange.
It's very weird.
Yeah, it doesn't quite get the last element that wouldn't be.
Once they figure that out, we're poetry with no soul.
Once they figure out the soul, we're toast.
All right, well, let's move on to some hate mail now.
Treasure in heaven is great, but it's not going to buy you a tank of gas.
So let's take a moment to briefly review the current state of our economy and the global effect the war between Russia and Ukraine has had.
We're in for a tough year here, and Biden's printing and spending could be catastrophic for the U.S. dollar and the market.
That's why a growing number of financial analysts are recommending you diversify with gold and silver now.
And the only company we recommend is Allegiance Gold.
Our friends at Allegiance Gold can help you protect your IRA or 401k with physical gold and silver and have it delivered securely right to your door.
The team at Allegiance Gold takes the time to educate their clients on the importance of having a financial portfolio that's diversified with gold and silver.
Allegiance Gold has been one of the top precious metals firms in the nation for their commitment to protecting your hard-earned savings.
They have an A from the Vetter Business Bureau, a five-star rating with Trustlink, and they're AAA rated with the Business Consumer Alliance.
If you act now by calling them and you mention Babylon B, we'll even give you $500 of free silver on a qualified purchase.
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Or you can visit allegiancegold.com/slash B. That's B-E-E.
Call 844-790-9191.
That's 844-790-9191.
Or visit allegiancegold.com/slash B-E-E.
I really miss Adam Ford.
We posted a promo for Babylon B Radio, which you guys should all go listen to on Spotify or whatever your favorite podcast platform is with Austin Robertson reading Babylon B headlines in his classic deep, rich, sexy radio voice.
Very sexy.
And there's a reply to it.
Okay, this is, I recognize it.
This guy's a reply guy.
He goes and replies to me all the time.
Oh, just son.
And he replies to this.
imagine it's just y'all playing some tired terrible song over and over saying it identifies as a better song and then giggling like idiots while you porpoises you nailed it That's what B-Radio is.
That's the most vulgar line I've ever heard Kyle just go for.
I was really surprised you actually said it.
Yeah.
We're going to have to beep it out.
Make sure you go.
Go subscribe to the newbie radio channel on YouTube and follow on Spotify.
So Joel Berry's a bit of a firebrand on Twitter.
He loves the Twitter.
He likes going on there.
He likes going on there.
He's pushing people's buttons.
He gets other people in trouble.
He gets in trouble.
Yeah.
So someone tweeted, Some of y'all aren't ready to talk about how Christians glamorize motherhood.
And he quote-tweeted it, which means he's spoiling for a fight.
And he said, why, yes, we do.
That is because it's the most glamorous thing in the world, my dear.
A little patronizing, my dear, at the end.
I like that.
And so we got some hate mail from that.
Oh, what's his name from the Babylon flea?
Good one.
Brought his wit and insight to one of my tweets.
And now all the trolls have followed.
What a goober.
And Natalie, she, her, with a trans flag in her name, responded, would much rather deal with actual fleas than deal with fans of the Babylon fleas.
Sure, fleas may bite and leave me itching, but flea fans are far more likely to walk into a gay bar and start shooting.
I think the stuff the chat bot wrote was more coherent than that.
Yeah, that seems like I was hoping it was going to rhyme.
It seemed like it was a flea thing and then try to like build on that.
It just doesn't work.
Here's a comment on the this is like mega hate mail.
A lot of people hated us this week.
California to Texas video.
BB is not usually funny, but this series has been more funny than not.
Keep up the good work.
That's not hateful.
I think that's a compliment like we want a fan.
We want someone previously not entertained.
That person seems like they don't have a very happy life.
But it's good.
You know, someone that doesn't like us and watches, goes into it thinking it's not going to be funny.
And they're like, you know, that was pretty good.
They see things in shades of gray.
I'll take that.
I'll take that.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
Stay tuned if you're a subscriber.
We have bonus hate mail, a classic article of the articles of the week.
And we asked the chat bot the famous Babylon B 10 question.
I'm excited for that.
I don't know.
I haven't seen this yet.
Very excited about it.
And please join us at Babylon B Live.
BabylonBLive.com.
Let's go for the rich people subscriber portion.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
All right, it is time for us to ask the 10 questions chat GPT.
Yes.
The chat bot answers the 10 questions.
You can hang out with any three people, living or dead, who would they be as a language model.
Trained by OpenAI.
I do not have personal experiences of the ability to interact with individuals in the physical world.
I exist solely in the digital realm and I'm here to provide information and answer questions.
That's my view.
I do not have the ability to have a lot of time.
This has been another edition of the Bee Weekly from the dedicated team of certified fake news journalists you can trust here at the Babylon Bee, reminding you that fake news of the people, by the people,